A Continuous Courting
by Zira Angel
Summary: The courting of Optimus Prime. TFA Optimus Prime/Ultra Magnus
1. Chapter 1

Okay, guys! New story! Woooooo

This is actually set in the same universe/series/whatever as CLICK, but way later. There's actually parts none of you will really get because there's a story happening before this that it references and blah blah blah.

If you don't get something, just leave a review asking about it!

Also disclaimer time: Transformers are copyright Hasbro.

* * *

Optimus walked beside Ultra Magnus, keenly aware of the optics watching them with unbridled curiosity. Every bot has to be wondering why the Magnus and the Prime who helped defeat Megatron are strolling casually down the street, side-by-side. He feels his faceplates flush, and ducks his gaze to the ground, focusing on walking forward.

It was an _awful_ idea to have agreed to go on this . . . date with Ultra. There were absolutely no rules against dating a superior officer at his rank—Optimus had checked, and double-checked, and checked once more just to be safe—but it was still something to be approached cautiously.

Primus, he felt bad enough. There would be no chaperones at _all_ on this date. And he _knew_ that bots would be recording it; if only because it was so unexpected to see them out in public together like this. Alone.

They are planning on going to a specialty energon shop. It had just opened a decacycle ago, and he'd been wanting to try it out. He had mentioned it to Ultra, and the mech said they should go _together_... make a date of it.

He glances up at Ultra from the corner of his optic, and gets a bright smile in return. He looks down back down, and carefully moves out of the Magnus's arm length, despite the larger bot's continual tries to get him to hold servos.

This is only their first date, and putting aside the embarrassing amount of cuddling he'd done, and one or two stolen kisses, they have not been together this way before. Optimus doesn't want to be too forward. He's been accused of having obtained his rank in less than admirable ways before, and he has no desire to feed those rumors again.

He hopes the energon shop is empty. But knowing his luck, it will be packed full of curious bots.

They step in, and there's a sudden cut off of chatter. Offlining his optics, he's just about to turn away, when Ultra gently pushes him forward. He onlines his optics, and steps up to the counter. Not really sure what to order, he relaxes slightly when Ultra puts a servo across his shoulders, "If I could, I would like to order for the both of us."

Nodding, Optimus smiles up at the larger mech, "That may be a better idea, Ultra." There's a soft squeeze on his shoulders, and he can tell the other bot wants him to come closer; glancing around the full shop, he stays put.

Ultra Magnus orders two cubes with different additives; Optimus doesn't recognize one, but the other is a moderately uncommon crystal that he'd never considered _could_ be added to energon. He hopes it tastes alright. Even if it doesn't, he'll drink it down. The energon dispenser they'd set up on Earth had produced some truly awful slag before they'd managed to get it functioning properly.

He glances at the shop. It's been designed to cater to a large variety of bot sizes, so the seating and arrangement of tables is somewhat eclectic. "I'm going to get a table, Ultra," he says, stepping out from under his servo.

The larger mech gives him a slightly disappointed look, but he ignores it. Looking around he finds a table in the corner, the only one unoccupied. The only problem is that it only has a single chair, and there's absolutely no way he can get a new one.

Ultra joins him, and looks at the table. "Only one chair?"

He stands a bit straighter, "I'm sorry, I can stand while we drink."

Ultra sits cautiously, setting the cubes on the table, "Don't be ridiculous, Optimus."

He shifts awkwardly, "I can wait until another patron leaves and drag the extra chair over."

"Optimus," Ultra scolds lightly, "there is no reason for you to stand and wait." He gestures at the room, "There are plenty of other bots sitting on a companion's lap. No one will even notice." Optimus looks and has to agree that there _are_ a great number of mechs and femmes using laps instead of chairs. He just doesn't want to be one of them. Not when it would be so clearly inappropriate.

He wants to say something, but Ultra picks him up gently and and sets him on the larger mech's lap. He blushes violently, "Ultra, I..."

A cube is pressed into his servos, and Ultra smirks, his voice teasing but kind, "Optimus."

He looks down, and drinks his energon. Blinking, he tilts his head, "This is really quite good."

"I'm glad," Ultra smiles, "I've never tried it myself." He takes his own cube and sips at it carefully, making a pleased noise. "You should try this as well, Optimus."

Optimus sets his cube down to take the other, but Ultra stops his servos. "Let me," and he presses the cube to Optimus's mouth, tipping it slowly. Optimus takes a bit of it, feeling his faceplates flush again.

"D-delicious," he murmurs. Picking back his own cube, he starts to lift it up to put it to Ultra's mouth, but he _can't_; there are far too many bots staring at them. Turning away, he looks down at the floor, hiding his chest behind his arms; he no longer has the clear chest plate, but old habits from staring optics die hard.

Ultra puts a finger under his chin, lifting it so he has to sit up straight, not hide. "Would you like me to taste your's?" He blushes brightly, and Ultra takes the cube, "Your energon, Optimus. Would you like me to taste it?"

"Yes," he says, trying to keep his voice even. "I want you to taste it. The energon." It's a challenge not to hide his face with his servos at this point. Every bot in the shop, including the staff, is probably recording this, and he can't stand the thought of something so private being plastered everywhere, the way he knows it will.

The larger mech drinks from his cube, glossa flickering out to sweep a few drops from his lips. "It is very good. How lucky, for the both of us."

His optics follow Ultra's glossa before he blinks rapidly and turns away, "Y-yes. Very fortunate." Looking back down, he sips on his energon.

Ultra runs a servo along his side, starting to pull him a little closer, "How is your work going, Optimus? All the reports I've been getting are increasingly positive. Especially since you got the secretary to sort through what was important for you."

He keeps the energon cube between them, to prevent being pulled right up against his chest. "Things have been going very well, sir." Oh, he probably shouldn't call him that while they are on a date. "Ultra. My team and I have been settling in nicely. I appreciate not being in an active war zone." The servo on him drifts down his back, stopping just above his aft.

Ultra Magnus stops it there, a warm and heavy weight on his back. He must know that Optimus will get off of his lap if he actually _gropes_ his aft.

Fingers pet his side, "I prefer you here as well, Optimus. You being with me is so much better than just seeing you through a vid screen."

Optimus blushes, rubbing his arm and looking away, "I'd have to agree, seeing you every day is so much better than only seeing you when you can get a free moment."

"I do wish you'd come by my office more often," Ultra admits, offering him another sip from the other energon cube, watching him drink it slowly. "You may only be a hallway away, but it seems like so much more."

Licking energon from his lips, he looks up at the larger mech, "I've been too busy the past few solar cycles. But I'll try to visit when our schedules permit."

Ultra smiles, "I look forward to it." The bot leans down, and Optimus ducks away, seemingly accidentally, as Ultra tries to kiss him. There's a tiny sigh from the larger bot, making Optimus give a tiny secretive smile, and Ultra murmurs, "Would you like to go back to your place, Optimus? Or possibly go to a movie? Or anything else you'd like to do with me?"

Finishing the energon, Optimus smiles, "I wouldn't mind walking back with you to my apartment." He won't be inviting the mech in; it wouldn't be proper this early in their relationship. But he's willing to . . . kiss. He flushes at the thought.

He slips from Ultra's lap, setting the cube on the table, and waits as the larger mech stands up. He deftly steps out of the way again when the other bot tries to hold his servo, and they walk out of the door.

There are _far_ too many bots on the street, and Ultra keeps walking a little bit closer as they head back to his apartment. He's trying to find a subject to talk about that would distract the mech from holding servos in such a public view, but he's not really sure _what_ to talk about. Not when he _wants_ to hold servos. He looks down, frowning, he just wishes all the other bots weren't on the street or _watching_ them.

"We should do this more often, Optimus," Ultra says quietly, letting his fingers brush against Optimus's servo. Optimus feels like if he blushes anymore, his entire frame is going to end up red.

As long as he doesn't try holding servos, he'll allow the touches, Optimus decides. And do his best to keep his own traitorous servo from latching onto the other mech. Primus, what he wouldn't give for a transwarping ability like Skywarp has; he could be at his door already, and unafraid of asking Ultra Magnus for a kiss.

"I... I think I'd like it more if we do this in a less public place next time." With his team to help chaperone, as well.

"That would be a wonderful idea. Is there anything specific you'd like to do?" Ultra brushes a servo along his back, and Optimus deftly moves back out of reach.

"I'll think about it, Ultra," he promises, spark fluttering nervously in his chest.

They reach his apartment complex soon enough, and Optimus is still surprised by it. He'd _never_ believed he'd be living in such a central part of the city, so close to Autobot Command. Or that it would be quite so—large. Walking in, past the security guard—really, there's a guard stationed there, and Optimus can never get over the way he salutes him every time he goes past him—they wait for the elevator.

"I meant to ask if you liked your new residence, Optimus," Ultra smiles at him, brushing a servo against him. The angle is wrong for the guard to see, so Optimus doesn't mind it.

Optimus shifts from one ped to the other, "It's nice." They step in the elevator together—a very large one, and they both fit in easily. "I wasn't expecting an entire floor to myself." Or that he'd have the _top_ floor apartment.

Ultra makes another try for his servo, and Optimus lets him just as the door closes, "It is fitting for the hero of cybertron to have such a nice place to live."

Stepping a little bit closer, Optimus shakes his head, "It is too large, Ultra. I barely use two of the rooms."

"But it was part of your reward for saving everyone from the Decepticons, don't you think you deserve it?"

He doesn't, not really, but he can't _say_ that. Instead he just looks at his peds and mumbles something that could be an affirmitive or any number of things.

"You own it," Ultra sounds terribly amused. "We made sure of that. I _know_ you, Optimus. If we'd not given you a place, you'd be staying in the Autobot barracks. I'm sure you'd even turn down the officer's quarters there."

Optimus flushes. He _had_ been planning on that.

They step out to the alcove between the elevator and his apartment, and Ultra leans down, "Am I allowed to kiss you goodnight, Optimus?"

He tilts his head down, and looks up at the mech from the cornor of his optic, "I... I'd like one, Ultra. If it isn't too forward, I mean."

"It is not," Ultra replies, and he leans down to kiss him.

Optimus offlines his optics to enjoy it better, sighing gently against his lips. His sigh turns into a gasp when he feels Ultra's glossa, which slips into his mouth, rubbing gently against his own. He reaches up and clutches at Ultra's shoulders, so incredibly grateful now that he has the floor to himself.

He's pulled up into Ultra's arms, a servo on his aft holding him up. He breaks the kiss, ducking his head, and blushes brightly. Ultra seems to take that as an invitation to kiss one of his head fins. Gasping softly, he leans into the touch.

Ultra chuckles softly before there's a wet flick of glossa on the fin, making his spark jump in his chest and his engine give out a happy purr. He blushes brightly, and pushes away, "That's enough, Ultra."

Ultra gives him a disappointed look, but sets him down. "Would you like to-"

"Go into my apartment by myself? Yes." He gets up onto his tiptoes, and gives Ultra a chaste kiss on the lips, pulling away before it could get deepened again. "I had a good night," his engine roars its agreement, and he blushes deeply. He rushes through his door before he can embarrass himself more than he already has.

There's a slight thump against his door. Optimus stares at it for a klik, but the sound doesn't come again. His spark is throbbing in his chest in a way it rarely does, and he jerks his servo away when he realizes he's been rubbing his sparkplates.

He needs to—have some private time. In his berth.

–

Optimus stares at the news station in dismay. He'd onlined so nicely, to sweet thoughts of Ultra Magnus and his teammates. His energon dispenser had stopped trying to give him expensive grades of energon that were utterly wasteful, and had finally given him the generic, average-grade that he'd grown accustomed to on Earth. And then he'd made the mistake of checking the news.

It is showing pictures of the _date_. He's blushing so hard in them, and there's a long recording of Ultra feeding him energon. They _keep_ showing it. Over and over. He turns the volume off as the news bots talk about how happy they are Optimus and Ultra are dating while looking forward to doing _more articles on them_, and hides his face in his servos.

He lays there for a klik, and raises a servo to his temple. "Cliffjumper?"

"Yes, Optimus Prime, sir?" the bot replies promptly.

"I'm not feeling well this solar cycle." There are no vital meetings or events he has scheduled, so he doesn't feel too awful canceling them. "Please reschedule or reassign the appointments I had planned. I won't be coming in."

"Prime, sir, do you need a medic to stop by?" Cliffjumper sounds terribly concerned. "I'm sure Ratchet could come-"

"That won't be necessary, Cliffjumper," Optimus stares at the screen again, and studies the images of himself sitting on Ultra's lap. He can't believe he was acting like that in public. "I'm sure I will be feeling fine tomorrow." He won't.

"Yes, sir. I'll clear all your appointments."

Optimus disconnects, and sits up. Staring down at his energon, he pushes it away; he's going to need something stronger than that to deal with this. He goes to one of the unused rooms, since none of them have the settings messed with, and selects high grade to drink.

It is really far too expensive of high grade for his tastes, but he's pretty sure the one he modified will give him _only_ the energon he prefers, and not high grade at all. Flipping through the channels, his spark sinks; they've preempted _everything_ just to show off their date.

He freezes, and jams up the volume when he sees a video of the _kiss_. How did that even _get_ recorded? There's no volume, which he's grateful for, since he's pretty sure he most likely made very embarrassing noises when Ultra picked him up. ... and when he was being _fondled_. He wants to hide his face, but he needs to see how _much_ was filmed. This is both easier and way harder to watch than those vids of Scatterstar 'facing Skywarp; easier because he _knows_ there isn't going to be porn, and harder because it is _him_.

He hides his face behind his servos, still peeking out, when Ultra starts to _lick_ his head fin. Just watching is making his spark jump with want, but he's grateful when video him pulls away, gives the larger mech a tiny kiss, and rushes back into his apartment. He's a bit surprised that the video stays on, and Ultra thumps an arm on his door. That gets cut off, and the news bot smiles brightly, "And then Ultra Magnus stays watching the door for a full two cycles! He must miss visiting Optimus Prime on earth, where he _wasn't_ expected to get back somewhere in a certain time."

Optimus flips channels until he finds another shot of the kiss, and he forces himself to study the angle of the footage. Taking a deep swallow of high-grade, he stands and pulls out his axe, exiting his apartment. Cursing himself silently as a fool, he finds the bug easily, and crushes it as brutal and swift as possible. It would have been easier to track down the owner with it functioning, but it feels _good_ to have destroyed the thing. He dumps the shattered remains on the floor and goes back into his apartment, engaging all the locks on the door before slumping down over his energon cube.

Slag. All that work he's put into getting away from the rumors when he was younger, and he's still managed to end up on the news networks. With actual footage. It's only a matter of time until his friends start calling him. Optimus disables his com. He doesn't want to talk to anyone right now.

He curls up on his side on the couch, nursing his cube of high grade, and looking through the channels. They're mainly playing the footage of them on the _date_, focusing on him getting pulled into Ultra's lap and being fed energon. He's thankful that it does only seem to be the shadier channels that are playing the one from the hidden camera.

Eventually, he wants nothing more than to shut the video feeds off. He can't. It's his responsibility to find out _exactly_ how slagged he is, and to come up with some way to fix this. Primus, he wishes he'd had the courage to just ask for a traditional courtship. Then Ultra Magnus could have told him he wasn't interested and Optimus could sequester himself away in his office and forget about it all.

No. He knew precisely why he hadn't done that. He _wanted_ Ultra to court him, and couldn't stand the possibility that the mech would deny him. Optimus finishes the energon. He was such a slagging idealistic idiot.

He gets up, and gets another cube of high grade, drinking it slowly as he realizes more and more channels are showing _his_ apartment building. Walking over to a window, he looks out, and sees a great deal of bots just... standing around. Peering out of an open window, he sees several that he _knows_ he can hit, even from this height, if he dropped energon on them. Looking down at them, and looking back at his cube in his servo, he shakes his head, and shutters all of the windows on the rooms he uses shut and dark. Pausing for a moment, he also shutters off a few other rooms randomly, not wanting the bots to _know_ what ones he uses with any regularity.

The news blares the development that he did that, and he can't help but groan. Maybe he _should_ throw energon at them; from one of the lit up rooms, of course. Or maybe one of the cans of food Sari left him. Most of the bots here freak out about organic things, and he can clearly label it so they scatter. He drinks more high grade, and that idea gets better with every passing moment. He's about to do that when the news chatters brightly about how Ultra is leaving the Autobot headquarters in his vehicle mode, and is clearly heading straight to Optimus.

Ignoring the speculation that the reason Ultra is showing up is because Optimus called for the mech, he goes over to his door. Programming it so no one but _him_ can get in, he makes a face at it. He's never been happier than now that Sari taught him _how_ to lock Ultra out, even if he wasn't happy about learning at the time. Normally Ultra would be the one bot _no one_ could lock out, and Optimus wouldn't _want_ to keep out, but right now he doesn't even want to see the mech. He's still fairly sure that if he saw Ultra, he'd just want to climb into the bot's lap and curl up to soak up the comforting heat.

He's deeply troubled by the fact that there are more reporters outside for his _dating_ than there had been when he'd come back to Cybertron after the war ended. Though to be fair to them, not as many would have known where he'd been staying at that point. It's not long until there's a gentle knock on his door.

"Optimus?" he shivers at the voice, wants to hear it whispering comforting promises in his audio. "You called in sick today. Was it because of the news? Or do I need to take you to a medic?"

There's a rattle of the doorknob, and he can almost see the mech's frown at that. He drinks a little more of his high grade, not sure if he wants to respond, and the door rattles louder. "Optimus? Your team is worried about you, since you're not answering com calls or texts."

He smiles, glad Ultra _realizes_ that mentioning his team will actually get an answer. "I don't need a medic, Ultra. Leave me be."

The door stops moving, "... are you _okay_, Optimus?"

"I'm fine," he lies, and puts the cube down. He shouldn't be getting overcharged around Ultra Magnus. There's a reason for that—he's pretty sure it's because he'll say things he shouldn't. "There are bots outside."

"There are," Ultra says cautiously.

Optimus covers his face with a servo, "I'm on the news, Ultra. You're _kissing me_ on the news. I-" He stops, spark aching in his chest. "I worked so hard to get past the rumors when I was in the Academy. Everyone's going to start insinuating that I got my position with my _spark_."

"No, they _won't_, Optimus. You defeated the Decepticons," Ultra's voice is serious and upset.

He snatches the cube back up, and sips on it again, ""Yes, they _will_. This is always how it goes for me. Something fantastic happens, then something terrible makes all the good things useless."

"Do you think that all the news reports are going to make Cybertron hate you, or me want to _stop_ dating you?"

He makes a face at his cube of high grade before putting it back on the table, "I don't _care_ if Cybertron hates me, it isn't like they haven't before."

"Then what about _me_ dating you? I don't want to stop."

Optimus glares at the door, "I do. This isn't the type of dating I wanted, anyway."

There's a long pause, "... are you... overcharged, Optimus?"

He glances over at the cube, "... a little?"

"I'm coming _in_." The door rattles, and he can feel Ultra hitting it all the way across the room.

"Don't you _dare_, Ultra Magnus! There is a _reason_ the door is locked so you _can't_ get in!" He flops on the couch, "I want a _traditional_ courting. One of the long ones, so I can be sure I'm loved, but _no one_ wants to go through a long courting. Ever. And now _you_ are going to refuse to date me, and I _really_ like you, and you won't wan-"

"Optimus! You're rambling."

He glares at the door, and picks up the cube to drink again, "I want a traditional courting. If you don't want to court me, you can go away."

"You're serious about this, Optimus?"

"Yes." Optimus stares at the energon intently.

There's noise on the other side of his door, "I'll be back shortly, Optimus. Don't run off while I'm gone."

He has absolutely no intention of leaving his apartment this solar cycle. Turning the volume back on, he watches the news stations. Primus, he looks like such a fragging slutbot perched on Ultra's lap like that, blushing every time Ultra smiled at him.

"-appears that Ultra Magnus wishes to issue a statement. We bring it to you live, here on NDC, the news you can trust." The anchorbot smiles and the screen fills up with Ultra Magnus's familiar form.

Optimus leans forward, and Ultra smiles serenely at the crowd of reporterbots. "There is quite a bit of speculation about the nature of my relationship with Optimus Prime. We have decided together to quell the rumors before they have a chance to become potentially vicious or hurtful." He presses a hand to his chest, "We are planning a traditional courtship." Cameras flash and the bots start pressing him with questions, but Optimus doesn't hear any of the replies Ultra might be giving.

He leans back. He'd . . . he'd agreed to the courtship?

Watching the screen blankly, he puts a servo up to his temple, "Ratchet?"

"_Courting_?," comes the yelled reply, making him wince, "Are you _serious_? I bet you're going to ask _me_ to come over there right now, aren't you?"

His optics flick over Ultra's face, his cheeks heating up, "Would you?"

There's the sound of irritable cursing, and he can't help but smile, "I'm bringing Arcee with me. I know you two idiots want to go on a date or something together, and I may as well have her with me to deal with it."

"Thank you, Ratchet."

"You're an idiot sometimes, Prime, and I want to know how you got him to agree to it, but you know we're gonna support you in this." And Ratchet cuts the call off before Optimus can reply.

Ultra Magnus has finished answering questions, and the footage shows him waiting patiently at the door to the building. He lifts a servo to his temple. Optimus hopes that's Ratchet informing him he'll be there soon.

Then the station cuts away, and the anchorbot smiles brilliantly, "Well, that was unexpected. Who would have thought that our favorite bots were planning a traditional courtship? We wish them the best of luck." Optimus wants to _offline_ when they put up images of the both of them. _Why_ in Primus's name had they felt the need to use an old picture of his Cybertronian form?

Standing up, he makes a face at the screen, and cleans up what little mess he made while watching the news. After that's finished, he debates if he should just shutter open all the windows, or shutter them all _shut_. Looking around at how _dark_ it is, he lets in the light, but avoids looking out the window; he doesn't want to deal with some unscrupulous reporter trying to get him before the official start of the courting.

There will still be rumors floating around, but they'll be contained mostly in unscrupulous tabloids. The same kind that keep insisting he is in some bizarre orgiastic relationship with all of his teammates. As if he would _ever_ engage in such an activity. He's only ever displayed his spark to a bot other than his medic on one occasion, and he tries to keep the memory of that dark point in his existence out of his processor.

He goes to the dispenser and gets several cubes of energon—they'll need them, he's sure.

He's setting them down when there's a com call from Lockdown, "So! Optimus. I heard you're going into a traditional courting."

He pauses, and takes a small sip from his own cube, "I am."

"Did you know," Lockdown's voice is smooth and convincing, Optimus is on edge instantly, "it is _allowed_ for family bots to take pictures and publish them in their own news of the courting couples by themselves and not with a group of other courting couples?"

He rubs his temples, "No, Lockdown, I did not. I do now, though. Are you going to tell me that _you_ are considered a family bot?"

"Prowl has me 'n' Jazz as his emergency contacts, so I'd say I count," he agrees. "But you know they're gonna report on you both. I'm proposing—No, Prowl. Contact him on your own time. I don't care that he's ignoring your coms. I am trying to make a business deal here." He sounds irritated, "Prowler says hello. And something about kicking your aft for not answering his messages."

"Did you have a point, Lockdown?" He's starting to get a processor-ache, and it's only partly due to the highgrade filtering through his systems.

"Of course I do. I want to publish stuff about you and that Magnus of yours. I'll let you both check the articles before we send out the files."

Optimus groans, "I want to have a article with me before I say yes or no to this."

There's a knock on the door as Lockdown chuckles, "I wouldn't do anything else."

Walking over, he checks who's there; Ultra, Ratchet and Arcee, of course. "That's good," he opens the door, "but I have final say yes or no." the mech is making celebratory noises as Optimus gestures the three bots in, "But the answer will most likely be no, Lockdown. I don't _care_ that it is allowed. That doesn't mean I'll like it. Everything _must_ be tasteful."

"Please," the mech scoffs, "you think Prowler and Jazz would keep 'facing me if I intentionally published trash about you? I'm not a glitchhead, and _I_ remember when traditional courtships happened all the time. You're in safe servos with me, kid."

"We'll see." He's still on the wrong side of overcharged, and he's not going to make any decisions right now.

"Should have one of the family meeting stages on our ship, kid," Lockdown offers. "Plenty of room for all of you tiny little bots. And Magnus, of course."

"Would Bee and Sunstorm's sparkling be safe up on the _Death's Head_, Lockdown?" Optimus gestures everyone to sit down, shaking his head when they look like they want to say something.

"As long as you give me a solar cycle in advance warning, we can _make_ it sparkling safe."

He sighs, "We'll think about it. I need to talk to Ratchet, Arcee, and Ultra now, so I'm going to hang up." He cuts it before Lockdown can say anything.

Ratchet gives him a dirty look, "So _Lockdown_ can get through to you, but your actual team only gets a blocked signal?"

Optimus sits across from Ultra Magnus. "You know very well that Lockdown uses com frequencies that can't be blocked. It's either answer him or listen to your com chime for the megacycles he's willing to let it ring." He wobbles slightly when gesturing at the energon on the table, "Please, have something to drink."

Ratchet eyes him suspiciously, lifting a finger to move back and forth in front of Optimus's face. He tracks the motion, and blinks hard. "Primus, are you _overcharged_, Optimus?"

He looks away, "... not as much as I _could_ be?"

Ratchet glares at him, "Did you spend this entire time _drinking_?"

"I stopped when Ultra announced we're doing traditional courting?"

Ultra looks like he wants to reach over and hold Optimus's servos, and in fact, does actually reach over; Arcee smacks the mech hard across the back of the servo, like he's a disobedient sparkling. Ratchet continues as if he doesn't notice, glaring the entire time, "You cut off com calls so you could _drink_ and _mope_."

"I," he gropes for a word, "panicked. Just a bit."

"Oh, I'd say it was more than just a bit, Prime," Ratchet grumbles, pulling out a medical scanner. "Open up an access port. You know the routine."

Sighing, Optimus holds out an arm, letting a panel there slide open. It'll do him no good to argue at this point. "I'm not _that_ overcharged, Ratchet."

"I'll be the judge of that," comes the grumbled reply. The medical scanner is plugged in with more force than strictly necessary, "You're more overcharged than you _should_ be, that's for certain." Ratchet looks like he wants to smack him but only isn't because Arcee would protest. "I'm draining some of this out, and you're not drinking any more of that cube in front of you."

"I wouldn't even dream of ignoring my medic's orders," he smiles.

Ratchet finishes draining the excess energon with a glare. "You ignore my orders all the time, Prime." Shaking his head, he closes the access panel much harder than necessary. "So," he looks at the both of them, "you're serious about the courtship?"

If he wasn't busy with a sudden processor ache, he'd be incredibly happy and be shouting, instead he nods sedately, rubbing his temples, "I am."

Ultra straightens up, "I would not have said it if I wasn't."

Ratchet gives them a dirty look, "And I'm betting you're going to ask me and Arcee to be your escorts for most of the dates, aren't you?"

Optimus shifts uncomfortably, "I don't know many couples I would trust in such a capacity, Ratchet. If it truly upsets you, we will find someone else-"

"Oh, shut your trap, Optimus. You know I'm willing." The medibot yelps and glares at Arcee, who waves her servo at him warningly.

"I will hit you again if I have to." She smiles at Optimus. "We'd _love_ to escort and share dates with you."

Optimus smiles at her, "Thank you, Arcee. I'm also planning on asking Prowl and Jazz." Ratchet and Arcee look at each other, so he contiues reluctantly, "Lockdown will also be invited, but I was planning on doing something he'd hate on that date so he refuses." He coughs into his servo, "I'll be seeing about Bee and Sunstorm, but that is really unlikely."

Arcee nods with understanding, "A Seeker might not be the most appropriate of bots to chaperone. I have a feeling he'd be cheering you on, rather than making sure your touches stay within acceptable bounds."

Across the table, Ultra Magnus watches him. "How formal do you want this to be, Optimus? I fear I won't be able to live up to my side of it." He takes the energon cube in his servo, "I don't want you to feel as if you're supporting the entire thing."

He looks down at his servos, "I'd like it to be as formal as we can make it. I wouldn't feel like I'm supporting it, though. I know you don't have much family, Ultra, you wouldn't be expected to do that much."

Ultra gives him a hesitant smile, "I'll see what I can do." There's a pause, and the mech frowns, "Jazz is calling me, a moment, please."

Ratchet leans in and whispers to Optimus, "How many credits you wanna bet that Jazz wants to know why Magnus didn't tell him about this personally?"

"I'm not willing to take a bet intended to make me lose," Optimus replies, just as quietly.

Frowning, Ultra's servo twitches—the one he holds his hammer in, Optimus notes. "No, Jazz. I was planning on calling you later." A long pause, "You heard about it from Lockdown first because Lockdown is incapable of keeping his mouth shut for more than half a klik."

Ultra turns around, and Optimus takes this time to watch the mech's aft. "Are you sure? I thought you wanted to be part of Op- No! Of course not. I would love to count you as part of my family. But I thought you'd stop since I put you with Sentinel so much. Yes, you were there because you _never_ would have tried to kill him, no matter how bad he got."

Optimus hides his smile when Ultra turns back to the table, "Can we talk about this later? I'm sure you'll be dropping reports off sometime soon. Come by my office when you do." A pause, "Yes. It's good to hear from you too. Goodbye."

He sits once more, "Jazz wishes to be part of my side of this. I'm not sure what the protocol is for that, when it comes to gatherings, considering his relationship with Prowl." His lips twist a bit, "And Lockdown."

Optimus does actually smile, "We'll come to that when we have the family gatherings." He wants to reach over to take Ultra's servo, but knows that Arcee _will_ hit him if he tries. "Would you like to do another date?"

The larger mech straightens in his seat, "If Arcee and Ratchet are willing, so am I."

Arcee gives Ultra an amused look, "We told you we are. This will have to be something we all will have fun with, and what you want to do."

"I'm sure we'll think of something, Arcee."

–

Nervousness sometimes made Optimus long for the comfort of a warm berth. He was _not_ nervous right now. His family was about to meet, and judge, Ultra Magnus. It was one of many opportunities for them to reject his formal courtship, and if they did so . . . Optimus would have to settle for something less. After this sign of commitment, he wasn't going to give Ultra up, but he really, truly hoped that his friends and family could accept them.

They really _are_ on the Death's Head, and he's watching Bee run around after his little sparkling, Firefly. As the tiny mech giggles loudly and fires off his mock-weaponry, Optimus realizes the little bot was named quite well. Ultra is talking to the various bots, and he frowns slightly as Sari is _clearly_ disapproving of him.

Ultra is a good mech. He wishes that Sari would let go of the grudge she holds against him, but understands that she does have some valid reasons for her to be upset. Still. His spark wouldn't be jumping so unsteadily if he wasn't so worried about it all.

It does not help that Optimus is _still_ not fond of this ship. Even after the remodel that Prowl and Jazz insisted on, it still reminds him of being strapped down and helpless. Without the amazing escape abilities that the ninjabots possessed.

He shudders, and Prowl drops next to him from wherever he was hiding, most likely the ceiling, saying, "Does he make you happy, Optimus?"

Glancing at the motorcyclebot, he smiles, "So far?" There's a nod. "Yes. Very."

Prowl flashes him a grin, "Can I rip _his _head off if he hurts you?"

"No."

"Spoilsport." He pats Optimus's shoulder comfortingly, "Not enjoying the ship? It's understandable. We repainted and tried to make it look less like a mad sciencebot's lair, and it still creaks in horrifying ways in the middle of a recharge cycle."

He watches as Sunstorm grabs Firefly out of the air and gets set back in Bumblebee's arms, "I hope Ultra doesn't agree to have the _next_ meeting here."

Prowl looks at him from the corner of an optic, "He won't be. Jazz is going to apologize but say the ship is unavailable if we're asked."

He frowns,"That isn't _fair_, though. He should be allowed to have the choice, Prowl."

He's patted soothingly on his back, "No, it really won't be available, Optimus. You aren't _supposed_ to have the family meeting in the same place if you can help it."

Optimus vents a quite sigh of relief. He isn't happy that a location has been taken away from Ultra's choices, but he doesn't want to spend his time here again. "I should read up on the courtship traditions. I seem to have missed that one."

"Not a lot of traditional courtships in recent times," Prowl admits. "Though you'll be interested to note that over a dozen couples have announced they intend to undergo it as well, and cited you two as their inspiration."

Optimus smiles, "I wonder if they realize we're going the most formal version we can."

"Doubtful, they were all clearly interfacing before declaring courtship." Prowl looks at him, voice dropping, "You want to bond at the end of this, don't you?"

He looks down, "I know you don't like it, ninjabot that you are, but I _really_ want it. Hopefully when we first interface, or a little bit after."

"Have you told him?"

He looks down at Ultra, who is pointing at Lockdown and clearly asking Sari why she likes the bounty hunter instead of him, and sighs, "No one _wants_ to bond anymore, Prowl." His voice drops to a soft whisper, and his shoulders droop, "No one but me."

Prowl rubs his shoulder reassuringly, "You won't know that unless you give him a chance, Optimus." He smiles, "We live a long time. It'll work out eventually."

Optimus sighs, "We'll see, Prowl."

"On the upside, I'm almost certain that part of Sari's dislike for Ultra Magnus stems from the AllSpark whispering what a good couple the two of you make."

He gives a soft laugh, "I'm pretty sure a large chunk of that disapproval stems from separating us from her when she needed us."

Prowl pushes him gently, "I'm trying to comfort you, don't ignore it."

What would comfort him would be a hug and, he flushes, a kiss from Ultra Magnus. It's unfortunate that he can't have either for quite a while. He likes kissing him.

Prowl follows his gaze. "I'm also here to keep you from running over to Ultra while he's supposed to be impressing the rest of us."

He sighs, "He doesn't seem to be doing that, does he?"

Prowl shrugs, "This early in the courtship, we're only really supposed to see if he does actually like you, and isn't just trying to get at your spark." Prowl tilts his head, "He does like you, by the way. But he's _also_ trying to figure out the best way to convince you to get on the berth."

"I had guessed that," Optimus can't stop the flush the thought provokes. He's not going to lie to himself; he's thought about interfacing with Ultra, but it is far too soon to actually do anything about it. His spark is his _life force_. He can't just share that with anyone.

Prowl smirks, "It's my turn to go provoke Ultra, Optimus. Can you stay up here?" At his nod, Prowl launches himself from the overhang they were sitting on, and lands lightly on his peds.

Sunstorm picks up Sari, and brings her up to sit with him before dropping back to the ground floor. Shaking his head, he murmurs, "Think I'll ever get used to an actual flier in the family?"

Sari glares down at the seeker, "I have a jetpack. He didn't have to do that." Turning to him, she smiles, "No. You never ever will. Not even when Firefly is all grown up and harassing you for something."

Having sparklings running around was, well, it made him want one of his own. He glanced at Ultra. Surely, if he'd wanted a sparkling, he'd have had one by now. Something more to discuss during their courtship. Optimus would try not to push if Ultra didn't want any. "The seeker sparklings are all very . . . strong-willed. Already." He smiles.

She laughs, "They are." They watch as Firefly giggles madly and tries to buzz Ultra, only to be caught gently and handed back to Bee. "... I don't like Ultra, Optimus."

He sighs, "I know, Sari. If he really bothers you so much I... I..." He isn't sure what to say, he wants to tell her he'd stop being with him but his spark protests unhappily at the thought.

She sighs, "I'm not saying don't be with him, Optimus. He adores you, you adore him, etc, etc, etc." She waves a servo negligently, "I just don't like him. He wants to shove you into a berth, and ugh, interface the hell out of you. While _you_ want to just be told how loved you are and held until you feel safe." She sighs, "But he's willing to wait for you."

"I appreciate your honesty, Sari." Even if it does occasionally embarrass him. Or when she explains where organic sparklings come from. "Does the . . . AllSpark have anything to say about it?"

She makes a face at him. "Only a fucking lot. Mostly, I keep getting told what beautiful sparklings you two would have."

He looks down at her, a hopeful look on his face, "Do you think they'll be femmes?"

She crosses her arms and looks away, muttering angrily, "I don't _want_ them to be femmes."

Optimus frowns, "Why not, Sari?"

"I just _don't_, okay?" She doesn't look up.

He pulls her onto his lap, and pets her gently on her back, "Is it because I'll be 'replacing' you?" he makes little quotation marks with his fingers in front of her where she can see it only to get slapped away.

"_No_."

He pets her softly, peds swinging gently on the overhang, "Tell me?"

He's glared at, "No."

"Please, Sari? I want to _know_ why you don't want me to have beautiful femmes for sparklings."

She wraps her arms around herself, "I don't want them treated like _me_, okay?"

"Are the other bots still treating you like-"

"Like some kind of whore?" She interrupts angrily. "Yes, Optimus. Yes, they are. And they're all so fragging interested because I'm 'even smaller than a minibot' and I've got this fucking spark-paint on my chest."

He rubs her back, "I'm sorry. If I could make them stop, I would. I'm just not sure how. I could come and walk with you more often? Perhaps that would show the bots that-"

"That their courting Prime is wasting his time with a techno-organic hooker?"

"Don't say that," he frowns at her. "We love you, and we will find _some_ way to get the bots to shut up about it." Optimus smiles, "Hey, if I could get past all those rumors about working my way up the ranks with . . . less than noble means, we'll find something for you too."

She glares at him, then leans against his servo, "I hate it here."

He pets her hair, "We can have you move _back_ to earth again?"

She shakes her head, "That's _even worse_, and I've told you that. I won't even be able to see you guys unless you hop on a space bridge _and_ have more free time than you'd ever really get."

"We could find a different neighborhood for you?" Optimus stops and considers it. "Perhaps someplace with a lot of ninjbabots? You'd get better treatment there."

"Any of those around here, Optimus?" Sari sounds doubtful, and Optimus shifts uncomfortably.

He should have investigated this immediately upon returning to Cyberton, rather than allow the council to offer a place for her. They probably settled her into the midst of bots they weren't that fond of. "I'll look into it," he offers. "They can be a bit pricey, and you need a recommendation from other ninjabots, but I'm sure Prowl and Jazz will offer that." He rubs the back of his head, "And I've got all this backpay from the time on Earth that I'm never going to use—seeing as they _gave_ me a home."

She shakes her head. "No, Optimus. Don't you _dare_ dip into your money to buy me a _home_. I don't need you to do that."

"But what if I _want_ to, Sari?"

She curls up on him, "... no. Not... not yet. Maybe it is too early to tell if they'll calm down about this, and I'm over reacting."

Optimus pets her back, "You'll call me if you take me up on the offer? Or one of team?"

She frowns, but nods, "Yeah. I can do that. But I'm hoping I'm just suffering from new kid at school syndrome." He gives her a confused look. "Where the new kid moves in the middle of the school year, and all the other kids make fun of them until they settle in and know their way around."

"Just remember we're here for you." He rubs her back again, and looks up to find Ultra watching him. The way those optics flash at him . . . Optimus flushes, and Sari laughs.

"Are you flirting with him? Seriously?"

"How did you-"

She taps his chest. "You got all warm." Optimus is sure his face is _red_ now.

She pats him on his servo, and he mumbles, "I can't help it."

"I know." She glances down at the ground floor, "I'm heading back down. Want me to send someone up?" He shrugs at her helplessly, and she smirks, "Lockdown to explain more about formal courtship, it is."

Fantastic. He watches her fly down with her jetpack, and shivers at the way Lockdown smiles at her. That was- He was not looking forward to this conversation. He knew the bounty hunter had changed, but they were not _friends_ by any means.

Optimus vented a careful sigh. It didn't help matters that with Prowl and Jazz's relationship, Lockdown would be getting to vote twice.

He watches as Lockdown walks off the ground floor, and turns around to wait for him to come up, not wanting to expose his back. When the mech shows up, Optimus is torn between offering to let the bot sit next to him or telling him to _leave_. Lockdown takes the choice away by dropping down next to him and going, "So, Optimus, how traditional and formal are you going with this?"

He frowns at the mech, "As much as possible."

"That mean absolutely no 'facing through the entire thing?" Lockdown's tone is light, genuinely curious and not insulting at all.

"... I hope so."

"That kinda courtship usually ends in a bonding, you know?" The bounty hunter, looks at him from the corner of his optics. "Hoping that old Magnus'll bond his spark to yours?"

"Are you mining for quotes for the article you intend to write?" Optimus doesn't want to frighten Magnus off. He'll talk about a bonding with him. Later. When they've been together longer.

"Can't fool you, but I can leave it out if you want. You'll get first look through the article, and can cut any bits before handing it to your intended to look over," Lockdown gives him a smug look.

He sighs, "I've seen your writing, you know. How terribly written will these be?"

Lockdown smirks, "Even worse than normal. If you want, I'll even throw in spelling errors and terrible metaphors. The bots will still buy it, anyway. Since they only want the pictures, and don't really care about the rest."

Optimus examines him critically, "And how many of the pictures will actually focus on Ultra or myself?" He's nearly positive that Lockdown will be using this as a way to show off his ninjabot lovers.

"Some of 'em," Lockdown shrugs. "Gotta keep the audience hooked somehow."

Lockdown taps his lips with his hook, "Think I could get Sari to sit on Ultra's lap?"

Looking down at the ground floor, Sari being hugged enthusiastically by Firefly and patting him indulgently on the head while not looking very happy herself. "Maybe. She _does_ like you, even if she doesn't like him," he tries to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Lockdown looks like he wants to slap him on the back, but doesn't, "He just needs to bribe her with something she thinks is useful. Not give her sparkfelt apologies. She _knows_ he's sorry, she is still angry at him."

Optimus rubs a servo over his face, "If you have any suggestions, they would be appreciated."

The older mech shrugs, "Dunno of anything right now, but I'll keep an optic out for you. You're family by association now." He grins broadly, and Optimus carefully disguises his shiver.

Twice family, really, because of Jazz being in Ultra's grouping, but he's not going to bother to remind the bounty hunter, he already knows and adores it. "You done talking to me, then?"

"Not in the least. You never answered if you wanted to bond or not. Prowl said you do, but I want to hear it from you. Kind of important to know if I'm supposed to explain about the courtship in depth, Optimus."

He doesn't want to tell _Lockdown_ this, but he nods. "I would like to. A lot."

"If you do this the way you told Prowl you're going, you're going to have to pull out the allspark and 'face with it near you your first time together."

"You, what," Optimus feels his frame heat with embarrassment. "You are making that up." None of the material he'd ever seen had mentioned _that_.

Lockdown arches an optic ridge, "'Fraid not, kid. It's one hundred percent legit." He grins, "Could pull up some old archival footage of it, if you don't believe me."

He offlines his optics, wanting proof, but- "How much spark is showing in the video?"

Lockdown barks a laugh, "More than you'd want to see, you prissy little firetruck."

He sighs, "Then I'll just ask Prowl or Ratchet confirm it for me."

The bounty hunter makes an indistinct noise, "So I take it that's a 'no' on having witnesses for your bonding?"

Witnesses? Other bots? He feels his optics widen, "There have to be witnesses?"

Lockdown slaps his own thigh and laughs, loud and harsh. "Oh, Primus, kid. The look on your face." He lowers his voice when he realizes everyone is staring at them now. "Naw, you don't have to have them. It's more traditional if you do, but plenty of bots chose to keep it private."

Optimus vents an enormous sigh of relief, pressing a servo to his chest to calm his fluttering spark. "Thank Primus."

"You'll need to be just the way the AllSpark built you."

He blinks. "What?"

"No mods, no Earth altmodes, just the way you were sparked," Lockdown grins. "Those metal plates on your Cybertronian form? The ones behind the transparent blue glass? Those will have to go."

He gives the mech a horrified look, "I've _always_ had the plates, though!"

The other bot shakes his head, "No you didn't. Your model type never did. They put those on you when you were still onlining to hide your spark. I'm betting the Allspark is kind of irritated at the bots that did it to you."

He fidgets, "I . . . other bots have to see me with my spark exposed like that?"

Lockdown actually pats his back this time, "Not if you keep the bonding private." He grins wide and lecherous, "And I'm sure Ultra Magnus won't be complaining."

Optimus shudders, imagining the prying optics and _even worse_ rumors and accusations if he hadn't had the metal plates, not caring that Ultra would like it _now_. "How private can I make a private bonding in a formal courtship?"

The bounty hunter shrugs, "At the _very_ least, you're going to want Sari to be the one to send you off, even if you kick the rest of the family out. She's Allspark blessed, Optimus, and you want the Allspark to bless you." There's a slight pause, "But with the way you had a clear chestplate, you were slightly blessed, too. I bet it is pissed at you for changing into the earth alt and keeping it." Another pause, "And for punching it into a lot of tiny pieces."

"I didn't have a lot of choice about that," he protests. "Should I have politely asked Megatron to remove the AllSpark from his chest?" Optimus crosses his arms over his chest in memory, "I was a bit distracted by the energy beam it was shooting me with."

Lockdown shrugs, "I didn't say you had many options, just that it isn't happy with you for it. It most likely is forgiving you since you collected most of it back into a single Allspark ball." Lockdown looks at the ground floor, "You're going to have to ask Sari what it thinks of the courting. Most likely forgiving you instantly if you go all the way through with it."

"That's comforting." His optics search for Ultra's familiar frame. He seems to be doing quite well, and the thought of his family accepting the bot warms his spark. Optimus can only hope _he_ will do as well when it is his turn to meet the bots that make up Ultra's family.

Pushing up to his peds, Lockdown offers Optimus a servo, which he takes. Standing together, Lockdown grins at him, "You're always welcome to ask questions about this stuff, kid. There's plenty of info on it, but you might want some insight from a bot who actually saw it happen." Lockdown pauses. "Literally, in one case. Witnessin's always an interesting thing to participate in."

Suddenly aware of _how_ the mech got that footage he was offered earlier, Optimus shudders. "I suppose you want us to pose for you now?"

They start walking down to the ground floor, "At least one of the both of you looking holding servos and looking into each other's optics all sappy in love." The bot smirks at him, "Not that it would be hard to do. What with how you look at each other from this far away."

It would be less embarrassing than the pictures the media already have of them. "I'll see what I can do." He leaves Lockdown behind and approaches Ultra, who is apparently trying to pay attention to whatever Bumblebee is telling him. Considering the wild arm movements and spinning wheels, it's probably about a race.

He steps smoothly up alongside them, "Excuse me, Bumblebee. Lockdown wants to get a few pictures of Ultra and I for his article."

"Yeah, sure thing, bossbot," the minibot grins and flashes him two thumbs up. "I'm gonna," he looks at his servos and freezes, "figure out where Firefly ran off to."

Watching him take off, Optimus shakes his head and turns to his intended, "You don't mind the pictures, right?"

Ultra holds out his servo, "As long as I get to be near you, I would agree to anything, Optimus."

Lockdown's look turns lecherous, and Optimus glares at the bounty hunter, "But you'll keep it _tasteful_, right?"

There's a dirty smirk, "Of course, kid. You think Prowl would let me do this any other way? And I _still_ need to let you both look it over first."

Optimus squeezes Ultra's servo in his own, "We will, as soon as you send it to us." Sharing an amused look with Ultra Magnus, he adds, "Well, so long as you don't send it in the middle of a meeting. Or in the middle of the night."

"Pshaw, you think I'd do that to you?" When Optimus nods, Lockdown frowns, "You know me too well, kid."

Lockdown moves around them, and Ultra tilts his head, "Any specific pose that you need, Lockdown?"

The bounty hunter shakes his head, "Just look at each other, I'll move so you look better."

Ultra squeezes Optimus's servo, and he sighs in happiness, wishing more than anything that the larger mech could pull him close and... he stops that thought before he could blush _too much_.

He looks up, hoping his flush isn't noticeable. The smile on Ultra's face lets him know that his hope is in vain, and he heats up more. Optimus allows a few cooling fans to click on, confident that the only mech close enough to hear them is Ultra.

When Ultra's optics dim, Optimus knows he _did_ hear the fans. It's a bit embarrassing, but less so than having his face utterly _red_ in the pictures.

Lockdown chuckles, "Okay, kids, time to do pictures with family." The mech calls over his shoulder, "Sari. I want you to sit on Ultra's lap."

She looks up from talking with Bulkhead, "I don't want to."

"Are you sure? It will be on the top of the article Prowl and Jazz are going to write of you," the mech's tone is casual and dismissive, "But if you're so sure, we don't have to."

She stalks over, glaring at Lockdown, "Can't I be on Optimus's lap if I have to be on anyone's lap at all?"

"The article will hit harder if you're on his, Sari." The mech gently pushes her at Ultra. "Now sit back down, Magnus, you have a picture to be taken."

Optimus steps back and observes. Sari crawls up onto Ultra's lap, rather than allow him to pick her up. She settles down and glares at the camera, arms crossed over her chest.

"Um, Sari," Bumblebee bounces Firefly on one hip, ducking his head away every time the little bot makes a grab for his horns. "You might wanna, you know, _smile_."

She glares at the minibot, "No, I _don't_."

Bee backs up quickly, waving his hands in front of him placatingly, "It was just a suggestion!" The mech grabs Firefly before he can take off, and drags the sparkling into a tighter hold, "I just thought it would be a good picture for putting up of you if you're smiling."

Lockdown just shrugs, "I'm mainly focusing on her, yeah. The Magnus will just be in the background, but whatever expression she wants will work." Sari sighs and stops glaring, her arms are still crossed, but she no longer looks like she wants to rip something apart. "That _is_ better."

The seeker comes up behind Bumblebee and pulls the minibot and sparkling up into his arms, "Oh, but don't worry, Sari. You'll look beautiful no matter what expression you make." He nuzzles his minibot, "Even if you look like you want to commit murder."

Bumblebee squirms in his arms, "You're not exactly _helping_, Sunstorm." Optimus has to agree, seeing as Sari is frowning again.

Optimus glances over to where Prowl and Jazz are standing, "What will this article be about? Aside from just about Sari."

Prowl smirks and Jazz looks as unruffled as ever, "Just something explaining how she should be treated better than how she is."

He turns to Sari, "I think a article saying that should have a picture of you that shows you would _like_ to be treated better."

Lockdown scoffs, "Or it could have a picture of you killing something." Everyone but Sunstorm and Bulkhead glare at the bounty hunter, but the mech remains unaffected.

"Fine, fine, twist my arm," Sari mutters, before smiling brilliantly. "Hurry up and take the picture," she grits out between clenched teeth.

Rather than risk her temper, Lockdown does as he's told, taking several image captures. Including a few that Optimus is fairly certain were aimed at Prowl and Jazz. Or, more accurately, at Prowl and Jazz's afts.

When he's done, Sari slips off Ultra's lap. "I don't want to do that again," she snaps.

Lockdown flips through the pictures he's taken. "Don't think I'll need to, princess. If we have another article on you, it would be better if you're on your own, or with my ninjabots." The mech leers at Prowl and Jazz, only to be ignored. "Since they're the ones that are going to be doing the writing. We want things on you to actually be readable, rather than whatever nonsense I come up with."

Optimus slips forward while they squabble and bicker like sparklings, and takes Ultra's servo in his. "I think you've been doing a good job impressing them," he murmurs, rubbing his fingers against the other bot's larger ones.

"Are you sure, Optimus?" Ultra sounds a bit doubtful, and . . . nervous? "I know Sari is not fond of me. And Ratchet and Arcee have every right to be unhappy with me as well. We did not handle things with them well during the war."

He steps a tiny bit closer cautiously, not wanting to alert his family to the fact that he's doing it, "Ratchet and Arcee have been escourting us during our dates, Ultra. If they really didn't approve, they would have refused." He reaches over and takes the larger mech's free servo in his, stepping even closer. He opens his mouth to continue only to get hit soundly across the back of the head and yanked away from Ultra.

Arcee gives them both dirty looks, Optimus's arm in her servos, "Do I need to put you in seperate sides of the room?"

"No, Arcee," Optimus waits until she lets go of him to rub the back of his head. Femmes hit hard.

"If you're having a hard time keeping your servos off, pretend you're at a diplomatic function," the femme advises him. "Best to resist temptation if you can."

He wants to remind her couples at a diplomatic function are allowed to stand closer than they are, but realizes that will only get him shoved even further away. "Yes, Arcee."

She looks over at Ultra, optics narrowed, "And you?"

The mech straightens, looking very regal, "I understand completely."

"I'm sure you're both eager to hear our verdicts?" Arcee smiles at them—Optimus feels assured of at least one positive vote. Even a single negative would invalidate the courtship. His spark fluttered nervously.

They both nod, and Optimus wants to take a step closer to Ultra, but isn't sure if he'd be allowed with Arcee still holding him. She leads him over to where everyone else is gathered, and Jazz does the same with Ultra.

"I vote yes," Bumblebee says immediately, before losing his grasp on his sparkling, who immediately ignites his tiny thrusters and zips off. "Firefly! Get back here!" He jumps and tries to grab the little bot, but misses entirely.

Ultra Magnus carefully plucks Firefly out of the air when he tries to buzz him, and hands the squirming bot back to Bumblebee. "I believe you misplaced this."

Bee sighs in relief, and Sunstorm picks them both up, "I say yes, as well." The seeker's optics dart to Optimus, "I am certain your courtship will be long and fruitful."

Bulkhead smiles at them, "I know he likes you, Optimus. So, yes."

Ratchet grumbles and mutters something until Arcee elbows his side, "Frag. Yes. I already agreed to go on fraggin' dates with you two. I'm not going to say no now." Arcee smiles, "That's a yes from me as well. It'll be nice to get Ratchet to go out more often."

"You're happy," Prowl says simply. "So I approve."

Lockdown rolls his optics, "That's not really what this meeting is about. It is just asking if we think that Ultra here likes Optimus more than just as a berth partner. I bet I'm going ot have to remind everyone of that in the other meeting because you _know_ they're going to be harder to please since they aren't as close to Ultra as ... we ..." Lockdown offlines his optics, clearly irritated he had to include himself in that. Turning them back on, he continues, "Are to Optimus." There's a pause, "Yes, I approve." He looks away muttering under his venting, "Like I'd fraggin' say no."

The only bot left to cast a vote was Sari. Optimus reaches over and clasps his servo with Ultra's. She sighs, "Yes, okay? I vote yes on this." She gives Ultra Magnus a dark glare, "You're still too fucking old for him, but the AllSpark, ugh," she covers her face with her hand. "The AllSpark is fragging in love with you two, and wants to give you its blessing."

Ultra's optic's brighten, "Does that mean I can ki-"

Lockdown gives him an irritated look, "No. If anything, it means you get to _slow down_." The bounty hunter looks at their clasped servos. "Stop touching."

"Why?" Optimus's servo tightens on Ultra's, not wanting to let go of him.

The mech narrows his optics, "The fragging AllSpark wants to bless you. That means you won't be breaking the courtship rules." He tosses a filthy smirk at Ultra Magnus, "In case you bots don't understand what that means, I'll give you a hint: no interfacing at all." He seems to be reveling in this. "And if you do it right, you get to 'face the first time in front of the AllSpark, and it'll bond your sparks together." He adds, almost as an afterthought, "And probably give you sparklings. Almost always a femme. Or two."

Optimus reluctantly lets go of Ultra's servo. "I'd like that."

Ultra gives Lockdown very blank look, and his voice sounds quite far away, "No interfacing?"

The bounty hunter smirks meanly, "Since Optimus hasn't 'faced at all," Optimus hides his head in his servos, was he really that obvious? "you're _very_ likely to have twins if you do this traditionally. But if you do it before that, then you will get _nothing_. No blessing, no bonding, nothing. All of it would have been completely useless."

With hitching intakes, Ultra Magnus looks at Optimus. "I," he reaches out, and then drops his servo, "I see." Relief shoots down Optimus's systems when Ultra's lips curve in a smile, "I have always wanted sparklings."

"Ugh, god," Sari mock-gags, "Just. Stop it. I don't want to listen to you guys talk about this."

Optimus smiles, "Of course, Sari." He straightens up, scooting a little bit away from Ultra since he'd like nothing more to jump in the mech's lap and kiss him senseless. "I'm glad you all approve of our courting."

Bee rolls his optics, "As if we wouldn't. You worry too much, boss-bot."

He ducks his head down, "I suppose I am prone to that. A bit."

A loud metallic clap interrupts his thoughts, and Lockdown smiles cheerily, "So, I think it's time for you to all get off my ship. I've got an article to write."

–

Optimus walks in to meeting Ultra's family. He's not really sure how well this will go, since he's upset half of his intend's "family" by letting the jet twins get kidnapped by Slipstream. He's not looking forward to seeing Red Alert, Wheeljack or Perceptor at all. At least Cliffjumper, Blurr and Jazz will be much easier.

There are more bots than he'd expected milling around. Jazz has Lockdown and Prowl, of course, and Blurr has come on his own, and is . . . cowering in a corner. Looking at the opposite side of the room, Blurr's reaction suddenly makes sense.

Shockwave is standing tall and proud, and he is draped from head to toe in tiny sparklings. Optimus has to fight the urge to pull out his axe and attack that bot that nearly offlined Ultra Magnus.

"He's promised good behavior," Cliffjumper offers Optimus a cube of energon. "So I'd appreciate if you don't beat him into scrap unless he violates that promise." The firetruckbot isn't sure he can manage that. "Or at the very least, give me the first shot at punching him in the spark." The red minibot glances over at Shockwave, whose optic brightens and he lifts one servo to wave at him—with a sparkling dangling from his claws. "Sparklings ought to keep him occupied."

Finally taking the cube, he drinks it hesitantly, "And he gets a vote?"

Cliffjumper shudders, "Unfortunately."

Optimus rubs his temples with his free servo, "So I'm going to have to talk to him, and show him I really care about Ultra?"

The minibot looks over at Shockwave, "... He'll say you do. I'm telling you that you _don't_, and he's going to have to live with it, since I know that will only end in his death."

"You've no idea how much I appreciate that, Cliffjumper." Energon slides cool and refreshing down his throat. Wiping his mouth, he offers the minibot a smile, "I appreciate how hard you work at maintaining peace. It's a very admirable trait."

A little shrug answers him, "Spend a couple of stellar cycles on a Decepticon base and you learn a lot about the importance of limiting conflict."

Optimus winces visibly, "I'd still like to-"

Cliffjumper waves a servo, stopping him, "Stop. I got it. You don't need to keep apologizing. You did all you could, and storming the base would have been suicide. I went... not so much willingly as not wanting the Magnus to die. I have a sparkling now, and I loved Longarm." The minibot sighs softly, "I still see little bits of what I loved of Longarm in him, and I'm with him now. It could be so much worse."

"We _should_ have rescued you. And all the others."

"We were fine. Shockwave never really hurt us, or forced us into anything," he rubs his helmet unconsciously, "Though the fragger _still_ pinches my horns when he's cranky." He smiles a bit, "Mostly, I was bored out of my processor. Do you have any idea how _awful_ most of the 'pads Shockwave kept around were? I wanted to rip my own optics out after reading a few of them."

He wants to say more, but he knows it will only upset Cliffjumper, "If you say so." He coughs, "But, I'm supposed to impress you about how much I like Ultra, aren't I?"

The minibot welcomes the subject change easily, "You are." He is studied carefully, and Cliffjumper smirks, voice playful, "And what, Optimus, are your intentions towards our Magnus?"

Optimus smiles, sitting down to talk, "I hope for a bonding."

Cliffjumper blinks at him, "... are you serious?"

"I am." He presses a servo to his chest, "I care for him very much, and I would gladly share my spark with him."

The minibot shakes his head, bemused. "Shockwave disabled our bonding protocols when he caught us. I've never had the desire to get them up and running again." He looks over his shoulder at Ultra Magnus, then back to Optimus, "But I wish you the best of luck. I think you'll be good for him."

He watches Cliffjumper walk off, and wonders if he's supposed to go to the other bots. Ultra didn't have to, but he's fairly sure that it was because his family is more accomidating about this sort of thing than Ultra's, especially when he looks at Blurr's cold refusal to stay away from Shockwave. He starts to get up only for Jazz to come over with Prowl and Lockdown.

"Hey, OP," Jazz drops into a chair next to him, and Prowl to the other chair, and Lockdown stands in front. "I'm supposed to ask you how you feel about Ultra. Have anything new I need to know?"

"Only that I hope our courtship is successful, and," he flushes, "that it ends with a bond. And possibly with a sparkling."

Lockdown scoffs, "Already told you it would if you follow the rules, kid. Just don't let that old lecher get a hold of your spark and you'll be fine."

Optimus raises an optic ridge, "_You're_ calling him an old lecher, Lockdown?"

The larger mech smirks, pretending to buff his fingers on his chest, "At least _I'm_ honest about it, kid."

"We are so cruising off track here, dig?" Jazz waved a servo between them. "Supposed to be talkin' about Magnus." He rests his servo on Optimus's shoulder. "You're _sure_ you wanna bond with him? It's cool if you do."

With his optics lowered, Optimus answers him. "I've wanted to be bonded since I first read about it. And I've always felt very strongly for Ultra, and those feelings only grew more powerful the longer I knew him."

Jazz gives him a quick smile, "Confirming what I already thought. Ultra would bond with you right now if you let him, you know?"

Optimus blinks at him in surprise, almost spilling his energon. "N-no. I didn't."

The carbot leans back, "He would. It's pretty obvious, too. He was _really_ hoping you'd interface before the courting is over, too."

Lockdown cuts in, "Which you _won't_ do. You don't want to piss the Allspark off, kid."

"No, I would think not," he murmurs, engine running a bit hot now. He would not give up, just because Ultra Magnus was willing to bond now. The ritual—it is _important_ to Optimus. It would give them several _stellar cycles_ to learn one another, and to develop their relationship in ways they never could otherwise. A thought struck him, "Are bots currently allowed near the AllSpark we recovered?"

"Kid, you're courting the slagging _Magnus_," Lockdown laughed. "Even if you weren't allowed near it, he'd get an exception."

Optimus smiles hesitantly, "Yeah."

Prowl puts a servo on his shoulder, "Even if you weren't, we'd find a way to get it to you."

He gives the ninjabot a stern look, "And I'd have told you not to, but you'd do it anyway."

Prowl looks away, a tiny smile on his face, "What is family for, if not that?"

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather _not_ have to bail you out of jail for _stealing_ the AllSpark." Optimus offers him another look, this one more playful.

A smiles flits across Prowl's face, "You think I would get _caught_?"

"No, but I woul-"

Lockdown puts a servo between them, "No talking about stealing the Allspark, kids. You still need to talk to the other family members, and it is bad form to keep talking with your friends in your intended's family."

Optimus straightens up, looking over at the remaining four bots, "Who am I supposed to go to first?"

The mech rolls his optics, "Whichever one looks like they're most likely to _talk_ to you." Optimus is picked up bodily, "Go talk," and pushed towards Blurr.

The poor blue bot is looking nervously from side to side, scoping out the exits while his wheels spin in little bursts. "Oh-Optimus-Prime,-Sir,-I-am-so-happy-for-you. This-is-just-great-and-I'm-so-very-glad-that-you-and-Ultra-Magnus-are-finally-together,-you-know-I-always-thought-you-and-he-would-make-a-great-couple-and-now-that-opinion-has-been-validated,-and-it's-just-great-and-_Oh,-sweet-Primus_,-Shockwave-is-looking-at-me-again!" Blurr hunches down and tries to position himself so Optimus is standing between him and the ex-Decepticon.

Optimus didn't exactly pick up everything the intelligence bot said, but he's glad the bot approves of their relationship. "Cliffjumper has apparently gotten him to agree to be . . . as good as he _can_ be. He won't be allowed to hurt you in any way, agent Blurr."

He pats Blurr cautiously as the mech shudders, "That's-what-Cliffjumper-told-me,-sir."

He wants to grab a chair, but he realizes the other bot is too freaked out to be able to hold still, "Well, Shockwave seems to be very..." he glances over his shoulder, Shockwave is tickling a sparking that's squealing happily, "parental? Right now."

Blurr shakes his head, standing up a bit straighter, and waving a finger in Optimus's face, "That's-what-he-wants-you-to-think.-Acts-very-nice-then-tries-to-smash-you-into-a-cube."

"I'm not entirely pleased with his presence either, Blurr." The mech had tried to _murder_ Ultra Magnus. He's not entirely sure why Ultra had even allowed Shockwave to come. The thought that it might have been to settle the requirements of the courtship warmed Optimus's spark. Still. It was Shockwave.

"I-don't-understand-why-the-minibots-stay-with-him,-sir.-Do-you-think-they're-being-blackmailed?" Blurr actually looks pleased at this prospect, and Optimus feels bad for having to disappoint him.

"Cliffjumper actually sounds rather content," he admits reluctantly, "and the others all seemed to be fond of Shockwave to various degrees. A few even profess to love him."

Blurr doesn't look deterred, "They-could-still-be-blackmailed-into-it,-and-just-not-admit-it."

Looking at the sparklings, he winces, "Emotional blackmail, possibly." He sets a servo on Blurr's shoulder, "But let's not focus on him, okay? I need to gain your approval to court Ultra."

Blurr tilts his head, "You-already-have-my-approval,-sir."

Optimus sighs, "Lockdown is going to yell at everyone for this." He rubs his optics with his thumb and forefinger before looking back at the blue speedster, "The _point_ of this meeting is to prove that I like Ultra enough to court him."

Blurr gives him a blank look, "But-it's-really-obvious-that-you-do.-If-you-didn't,-you-wouldn't-have-decided-to-court-at-all."

"It was likely originally intended to assure that neither participant had been coerced into the courtship," Optimus offers. "It is a relief to know I have your support in the later stages of the courtship as well, Blurr."

"It's-no-problem,-sir.-Just,-try-to-be-good-to-each-oth-oh-slag,-he's-looking-again!" Optimus glances over his shoulder, and Shockwave _is_ staring rather intently at the both of them, considering that he has a sparkling trying to grab onto one of his antlers. "He-keeps-staring-at-my-_chest_!"

Stepping directly into Shockwave's line of sight and in front of Blurr, he sighs, "I wish I could stop him, but I don't know how I'd be able to." The carbot just shudders unhappily. "You can hide behind me as I go talk to Red Alert, Wheeljack, and Perceptor?" Blurr looks torn, clearly not sure if he _should_ be doing it. "It is always better to be with your team, Blurr. I may not _really_ be your team since you always work alone, but I'd like to think you like me enough to trust to keep you safe."

Blurr straightens up, "That-would-be-very-nice,-sir.-I'd-like-to-walk-with-you."

The trio watch them approach, and Optimus expertly hides the wince he wants to display. They have such great reason to hate him. The jet twins, Jetfire and Jetstorm—the twins these scientists modified and reformatted and _loved_—were lost under his command. Seeing as they had left no notes behind, it had been impossible to know if they'd gone with Slipstream of their own free will, or if they had been coerced in some way.

All Optimus knows for certain is that Red Alert, Wheeljack, and Perceptor have no great fondness for him. The commanding officer who lost their twins.

Blurr keeps peeking over his shoulder at Shockwave, ducking back down instantly. Because of that, he is seriously thinking of _not_ sitting down, but he doesn't want the three other bots to think he's playing some power play game as he talks. Sitting down, he pulls Blurr into a seat that blocks the blue bot mostly from Shockwave's view, and smiles in turn at Red Alert, Perceptor, and Wheeljack.

They all give him large strained smiles back, except Perceptor, who forces a tiny smile to the forefront rather than his normally blank face. Optimus hides his wince, "Is there anything you want to talk about before we get down to Ultra and me?"

Red Alert fidgets, "Have you discovered anything new about Jetfire and Jetstorm?"

Despite relentless searching, not a single scrap of evidence or any clues have been found as to their whereabouts. His spark clenches painfully when he answers, "Nothing new. Not even the other Seekers seem to know where Slipstream may have disappeared to." They were hiding _something_, but none of them knew her location.

Red Alert and Wheeljack sigh, while Perceptor seems to go even more emotionally dead. Wheeljack looks up, headlights flashing as he talks, "But you're trying?"

Optimus nods solomely, "Even more than before, no one wants them back more than me other than you three. If it helps, the seekrs are absolutely certian they're alive and well. She was very protective of the twins towards the other seekers."

They all offline their optics, and Perceptor is the first to speak, "We have been informed you wish to bond with Ultra. Is this true?"

"It is." He shifts his thoughts away from his failures. "Provided he is willing." Optimus can't help a faint flush, "And Sari informed us that the AllSpark wants to bless us, if we continue the courtship the traditional way."

"Is she doing well?" Red Alert interrupts. "I haven't had a chance to see her since I arrived back home."

Optimus shakes his head, "She isn't happy right now. The place she's staying at is filled with bots that treat her badly. I offered to get her a new place, but she's refused. She's hoping that once she's settled in, it will get better."

Red Alert frowns, "Is it like how she was treated by the new recruits before you started giving that speech before they were allowed in the base?" He sighs and nods, making her frown even more, "I would go make that speech to her neighbors as soon as you leave, Optimus."

"It wouldn't fit her situation, Red Alert, and I'd want to ask her if she _wants_ me to, first. She is an adult, and can make her own decisions; I will not make them _for_ her. She'd be more upset I did it without asking, than happy they stopped harassing her. Especially since I _know_ that Prowl was making threatening gestures at the recruits behind my back as I was doing it."

"She ever wants to vent some steam, she can stop by my lab," Wheeljack offers. "I never met her, but if Red Alert likes her, she's gotta be a good kid. And explosions are great for calming you down."

Perceptor turns his impassive stare to his companion, "When less than half of the explosions are intentional, they are not particularly calming."

Wheeljack shrugs at the other bot, "I don't mind."

Perceptor offlines his optics and, Optimus is fairly certain, would be shuddering if he wasn't so impassive. Optimus looks over to Blurr, who is ducking down unhappily. Patting the blue bot gently, he asks, "Are you okay?"

"Not-particularlly,-sir.-No.-Shockwave-keeps-looking-at-me,-and-it-is-very-unsettling.-I-wish-he-wasn't-here-at-all."

"Would it be better if you were behind a larger bot? I could get Lockdown for you to stand behind?"

"You-don't-need-to-do-that-sir,-I'll-be-fine.-I-have-_every_-intention-of-leaving-here-_immediately_-after-this-meeting-and-locking-myself-in-my-residence-for-the-next-solar-cycle." He pauses for a breath, and Optimus tries to keep up with him. "I-was-wondering,-sir,-if-I-could-get-Bumblebee's-com-frequency-from-you?-There-are-a-number-of-very-important-things-I-would-like-to-speak-with-him-about,-if-at-all-possible,-and-having-that-frequency-would-be-quite-useful,-seeing-as-I-never-got-it-from-him-on-Earth,-before-I-was-forced-through-a-space-bridge-and-had-that-encounter-with-Shockwave."

Optimus blinks, "... You want Bee's Frequency?" Blurr gives a firm nod, and Optimus send it to him. "There you go, then."

"Thank-you,-sir.-This-will-be-very-helpful."

Turning back, Wheeljack, Red Alert, and Perceptor all look slightly confused about that exchange, it is slightly odd to see confused on Perceptor's face, but Optimus is proud of himself for reconizing it for the emotion it is. "Would you like me to go more in depth about the bonding or the Allspark's blessing?"

Wheeljack's audio lights flash, "No, you really don't need to. I mean, I like Ultra Magnus, but I don't really want to hear about the . . . details."

Venting a sigh of relief, Optimus relaxes a bit, "Thank Primus. It's," he flushes, "not really something I _want_ to have to explain. Lockdown would explain it better, if you change your mind."

All three exchange looks, and Red Alert shakes her head, "I'm certian Ultra will tell us if we ask, Optimus."

He smiles, then looks over at Shockwave. Frowning, he glances over to where Ultra is, making sure not to look _at _him, "Do you think I'm supposed to talk to Shockwave now? Cliffjumper said I'm not, but I have no idea if I should try anyway. Or if I should just go to Ultra and we hold the vote."

"No one should be forced to talk to Shockwave," Red Alert murmurs, and stands. "We may as well hold the vote now."

Optimus follows suit, and slowly makes his way to Ultra. The mech smiles at him from all the way across the room, and he feels his spark flutter happily in response.

Taking Ultra's Servo in his, he almost starts to step closer, only to stop at Lockdown's look. Looking around, he squeezes Ultra's servo reassuringly as the mech asks, "Has everyone talked to Optimus?" Shockwave steps forward only to get punched by Cliffjumper. "Am I allowed to continue courting him, then?"

Cliffjumper nods, "I'd certianly say so."

Shockwave lifts a servo, and drops it when Cliffjumper shoves a sparkling into his grasp, "And Shockwave says yes too, don't you, Shockwave?" The larger bot looks up from the tiny, antlered sparkling.

"Yes, I suppose I do." Shockwave sounds somewhere between amused and irritated.

All three sciencebots give their approval as one, and the three turn and glare at each other. Or, Optimus assumes the look on Perceptor's face is a glare. Apparently, the twins' habit of speaking in tandem was not entirely based on their twinned spark.

He starts to step closer to Ultra, only for Lockdown to put an arm between them, "You're lucky Arcee isn't here, kid, or you'd lose your servo for trying that again." He sighs, and steps away, still holding Ultra's servo stubbornly. "Looks like you can learn. Better keep that in mind for later on."

Ultra squeezes his servo, "Does that mean you're voting yes, Lockdown?"

The mech rolls his optics, "Yes. Same with Jazz."

They glance at the mentioned ninjabot who nods in agreement, a easygoing smile on his face. "Sure do, UM. Happy for you both, too."

The way Ultra stares at him, Optimus is certain that he'd have been thoroughly kissed if it were not for the courtship rules. For once, Optimus found himself more irritated by the rules than Ultra Magnus was. Ultra smiles, and then turns to Blurr, "And your verdict?"

"Oh-Primus-I-can't-believe-you'd-even-think-I'd-say-anything-but-yes,-sirs.-I-mean,-it's-so-_painfully_-obvious-that-you-are-head-over-heels-in-love-and-if-I-said-no-to-that-I'd-_deserve_-to-have-been-crushed-to-death-painfully.-So-yes.-And-I-hate-you-Shockwave,-goodbye." And with that, the intelligence agent sped out of the room as a streak of blue and a screech of ped wheels. Optimus blinks.

"That was a yes, right?"

Ultra squeezes his servo again, making his spark flutter, "It was."

* * *

**Please review**

As I said, if you have questions, just ask.

This is going to be updated whenever I get around to editing more of it. There's _a lot _of the fic left, and it is insane how long it is _ It has a great deal to post, and we aren't actually _done_ with this fic, sadly. However, that doesn't really matter much to you guys, since I could post about ten thousand words a day for a month, and you'd still get fic.

That isn't happening. Not unless _you _want to come here and edit in all the italics. I am for it if you're going to do it. I'll post _every day _if you do.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay! You guys remember my whole, "Not unless _you _want to come here and edit in all the italics. I am for it if you're going to do it. I'll post _every day _if you do."?

Well, it turns out one of you IS crazy enough to do that! Her name is Vivenne Grainger, and you can find her in my favorite author's list on my profile. She is currently doing NaNoWriMo, so it may not be _every day_, but it could be, I dunno. Don't harass her for more fic from me, please. I have yet to read any of her stuff, but that is only because I am a lazy sod. You are not a lazy sod, right? I mean, you're about to read about 15k more words. That is not a sign of a lazy person! You are awesome, reader! SO AWESOME.

There used to be porn in this, but I edited it out to keep the rating down. You can check out my livejournal (also linked in my profile) to go get the uncensored version. You can leave your comment here or there, since I don't have anonymous reviews off, even if it makes it a bit hard to answer back to you 8C

I like answering reviews! It is funnnnnn.

Disclaimer time! I don't own Transformers!

* * *

Optimus settles down in his office's chair, and comcalls his secretary, "Cliffjumper?"

The response is quick, "Yes, Optimus Prime, sir?"

"I need you to move any appointments I have for the next megacycle or so. "

"Yes, sir. "

Optimus pulls out a datapad and downloads the files he had received during his last meeting. Lockdown had apparently decided to take his own sweet time writing these articles, as the first stages of the courtship had taken place over two decacycles previous.

Splashed across the top of the news file is a picture that Optimus cannot allow him to publish. He's gazing up at Ultra Magnus, servos clasped, which is well and good. However, the deep blush on his faceplates, and the way Ultra's optics are dimmed is completely inappropriate. He'll have to ask if Lockdown can't use some other image.

Scrolling down, he is distinctly unsurprised that the next picture is of Prowl hiding in the ceiling just above him while he was looking down nervously; showing only his head. He rolls his optics when he sees the caption, "Opptimoos Prim watchs Ultru Mangus in aprihensson"

Optimus frowns, he wasn't aware you could misspell 'apprehension' so badly. Sighing, he continues to look over the actual articles. All of the ones written by Lockdown are just as badly written as the caption, other than the bits asking for various bots to join in for a foursome.

Besides the first picture, which is utterly mortifying, Optimus is amused by the rest of them. Nearly all of them have Prowl, Jazz, or Prowl and Jazz at the focal point, with Optimus or Ultra Magnus as an afterthought. One picture has only a bit of his _hip_ in the frame.

The article on Sari, however, is well-written, has professional quality pictures, and is a very sympathetic, but firm explanation of her abilities and connection to the AllSpark. He hopes it helps.

In fact, she hasn't been answering when he's been comcalling her, so he'll call her when he's done working for the day and if she doesn't pick up, he can look to make sure she _is_.

* * *

He's standing outside of Sari's house, looking around at the neighbors. It isn't nearly as bad as it _could_ be, she's in a fairly nice neighborhood, but he's not happy with what he sees on Sari's porch.

There's a can of yellow paint with a note on the side. The note crumples loudly in his fist after he reads it. _If you don't want to be treated like a whore, don't go out in public painted like one_. He presses the intercom pad firmly, putting in his command override so he won't be directed to a recorded message or possibly be ignored.

"Sari? I'm going to come in. You haven't been answering your comline. "

At the complete lack of answer, he opens the door. Her house is still filled with unpacked boxes, and she's been here ever since they got to Cybertron. There's no answer when he calls her name, so he searches through the rooms. He finds her on her bed, feigning a stasis nap and clutching her blanket angrily.

Crouching down in front of her, he pokes her gently, "Up, Sari. You snore when you actually recharge."

The pillow thuds against his chest. "Leave me alone, Optimus. I'm trying to forget my asshole neighbors exist. "

His fists clench, "The ones who leave _paint_ at your door?"

"Frag, you saw that? Fucking dickbots are relentless," she tugs the blanket up over her head. "I'm sleeping. Recharging, for you giant robots. Go away. "

He puts her pillow back on the bed. "Is this why you haven't been answering the comcalls?"

She snatches the pillow under the blanket, "No."

"Sari."

"_Fine_. Yes."

Optimus pets her on her side, "Is the paint the only problem, Sari?"

"Of course it's not, Optimus," she peeks out from under the blanket, eyes narrowed with anger. "The fraggers won't let up. And it's not just them. Do you have any idea how many dicks try propositioning me every time I go out for a walk?"She sits up, "I'll give you a hint: it's a lot. "

He hates that he has to ask this since he's certain she has. "You've talked to the policebots about it?"

She glares angrily at him, "What do you _think_?"

He gives her an upset look. "And they only did something because they had to, since you're so well connected."

She curls up, "Yes. I hate it here, Optimus. They treat me like a whore to be used, or a disgusting organic to be crushed. I've had bots try to step on me just before seeing my spark paint and asking my going rate."

Decision made, Optimus picks her up in his arms and sets her on her feet on the floor. "Pack a bag, Sari. You're coming to stay with me, until we can find you better living accommodations. I know Prowl is petitioning to get you a place near the one they have. "And never use.

"Optimus," she protests, "you don't have to do this. They're jerks, but I can handle it. "

He pushes her towards her closet. "This is not up for debate. Pack a bag. I'm going to drag your bed out and tie it down so I won't drop it when we drive back. "

He picks up the bed frame, stripping it carefully of all the sheets and blankets, "We'll be by in the morning to pick up everything else. Just get what you need for the night."

She throws a suitcase at his head, "I _realized_ that."

He catches the case before it makes contact. "I try to make as few assumptions as possible. And I'd like to get you someplace you can recharge properly soon. "He pats her head and starts to drag the bed out of the house.

Sari watches him, sitting on the incline outside. "I guess it's pretty useful that you guys are so freakin' big. "

He ties it on, opening his cab, and raising his voice so the bots that are listening in can hear, "Come on, Sari. I'm taking you to where you _won't_ have neighbors that treat my _team mate_ like they have."

He takes far more pleasure than he should as several bots wince at that. Sari just sighs, and gets in. "That won't help, you know."

He drives off. "It makes them realize that you're family, Sari. It shows that they should feel lucky I'm not offlining them right now."

To be honest, he's not sure he can make the promise that his neighbors will be any kinder. He's never met any of them. He's seen them once or twice, in the elevators, but they didn't talk so much as they stared at him.

Sari settles down on his seat, strapping the seatbelt on. "I'm glad you've still got this form, Optimus. You're a decent enough driver, but still. Seatbelts are nice. "

He chuckles, "Good. You're doing better now that you're away from them, Sari?"

She leans her head on his door, looking out his window. She sighs and shrugs, "I guess. I just wish this isn't happening at all. What if the new place you're petitioning for is filled with bots that do the _exact same thing_?"

He sighs, "I am pretty sure they won't. It _is_ filled with ninjabots."

She kicks his dashboard softly, "Ninjabots, Optimus. Could _you_ live in a neighborhood of ninjabots?"

His engine revs in embarrassment, and he deflects her question, "Ninjabots won't hurt you. And I know they have their own honor codes. They won't ask you what you charge, and if you turn them down for interfacing, they'll wait before trying again. "

As they approach his apartment, he adds, "And most of them won't care that you're techno-organic. "

She frowns, "Still"

He shifts a bit, a soft reprimand, "_You_ are a ninjabot, Sari. Prowl and Jazz were teaching you."

She crosses her arms as they get to the apartment building, "Do you really think that will matter for this?"

"It _is_ a ninjabot-only neighborhood we're trying to get you into, and they'll treat you better for it."

She gets out, and he transforms, the bed in his arms, and the suitcase on the ground. Sari picks up the case, following him in. "If it doesn't work out, where will I go?"

"You can always stay with me. I barely use two of the rooms I have, and I should have taken you with me in the first place."

They wait for the elevator together, and Sari punches his thigh, "I asked for my own place, Optimus. I'd have my own place if I was back on Earth. I'm not a kid anymore. "She lowers her voice, "But I appreciate this. It's nice. So long as it's temporary. "

They get in the elevator as Optimus smiles down at her, "As I said, Jazz and Prowl are doing the petitioning. You shouldn't have to be here _too_ long." He gives her an anxious look as they head to the top floor, "But you know it _is_ okay to stay here if you ever need to, right?"

She laughs, "Yes, Optimus, I know. It's okay, though. I'll be trying _not_ to be here since I _like_ being on my own."

When they reach his door, he does a quick scan for bugs, and finds none. "You'll have to pick which room you prefer. They're all empty, but I'll be taking the berth out of the room you want to use. "

Honestly, he'd have no furniture at all if the place hadn't come furnished. He'd already shoved the expensive-looking art pieces into the storage space below the building.

She follows him in, and looks around the empty rooms. The first one she sees without a dispenser, she claims. Walking in with her, he sets down the bed, and works on removing the berth. "You can put some of the rams up if you want, Sari."

He looks up from putting the sheets on her bed, "I only have those because Oil Slick would have wanted them safe, and the dickbots looking through the base once we got in would have destroyed them." She pulls a pillow into her hand and launches it at him, "And if I put them up, that would mean I'm _moving in_. No."

"I wouldn't mind if you did, Sari," he says it quietly. He's unsettled by how large and empty this apartment is. Having gone from the Autobot Academy to Teletraan, and then having settled in their base on Earth, Optimus has not lived alone in a very long time. Apart from solo missions, he's never recharged without another bot a room away in longer than he can remember.

Sari shakes her head firmly, "No thanks, Optimus. As much as I like you, I want to have a place of my own. It's an organic thing. "

He picks up the berth, "The offer is there if you ever need it, Sari." She just shakes her head at him as he leaves her room.

He runs down to the basement quickly, setting the berth in with all the _other_ things he put in storage, and returns just as quickly. When he sticks his head in, Sari is laying on her bed. She looks up at him, a tiny smile on her face, "I'm kinda hungry. What did I bring for you to store here?"

"Lots of things in cans. "Cans filled several of his cabinets in the kitchen space. Well, he supposed it wasn't so much a kitchen as it was a few expensive devices for mixing and adding things to energon, plus a dispenser. Optimus had wired a microwave and fridge in place. They worked well enough. Needless to say, he was no expert at maintaining earth devices, but these were simple enough.

"Cans. Right. "She leaps off the bed and walks to examine them. "Ooh, and a couple boxes of snacks. Nice. I ran out of those already. "

He sits down, and watches as she flits about. After a little bit, Sari sits at the table with him, a bowl of something in her lap. "What I wouldn't give for some milk."

He rests his head on his arms, "We could try storing it in subspace, Sari."

She shrugs, "Maybe when we go to stock up."

He smiles at her, and reaches over to tip her head up with his finger, "I missed you, Sari. Never stop answering my com calls again."

She makes a face at him, "We'll see."

About to reply, Optimus stops when his com chimes. "I need to get that," he apologizes, and walks into the living area to answer the com. The screen fills with a wonderfully familiar form. "Ultra Magnus," he smiles, "I thought you would still be in meetings. "

"We concluded our business early," Ultra pauses, "is Sari there with you?"

How did he know that?"Yes, she is. Did you need to speak with her?"

Ultra shakes his head, "No. I was just making sure." The mech pauses, and Sari walks over next to Optimus, "You may want to sit down when you watch the news just now." Ultra looks over at Sari, "And you may want to keep him from breaking anything." Sari gives him a confused look. "Just trust me on that."

Ultra puts a servo to his lips, and starts to reach for the camera, only for Sari to give him a dirty look, "No kisses so early in the courting. Do we need to supervise your _com calls_ as well?"

The mech sighs, and drops his arm, "No, Sari. I won't do it again."

She glares at him, "Damn straight you won't. AllSpark doesn't like that you're trying to get around the protocols like this. We may need to block you for awhile."

"I'd prefer we not resort to that just yet, Sari," Optimus says cautiously, getting too much joy from the calls to want them gone. "We'll behave. We promise. "

"Yeah, I trust you on that, Optimus. "Her glare at the com screen lets Ultra know exactly how much she doesn't trust him to follow the rules.

Ultra Magnus lowers his optics like a guilty sparkling, and Optimus bites his lip to stop his smile. "We'll not do it again, Sari. "When he looks up again, his expression is firm. "Don't let him out of the apartment until he's calmed down again. "

Optimus's spark clenches. What in Primus's name are they showing on the news?

Ultra hangs up, and Optimus turns on the news. What he sees makes him want to spit battery acid. "-timus Prime: invalidating the courtship? Just a few breems ago Optimus Prime brought Sari Sumdac to his apartment." There's a shot of Sari with her sparkpaint glowing and smiling brightly. He reconizes it, and they clearly cut out the rest of the team to focus on her sparkpaint, making him scowl.

"As we all know, Optimus Prime has only just recently had his courtship announced by Ultra Magnus." A clip of Ultra talking about the traditional courtship just outside of his apartment building. "But Optimus Prime must not really think that's what he wants, seeing as he has brought a," the anchorbot pauses, clearly getting information commed to them, "bed, which is an organic's berth, for the," the anchorbot clearly looks like he wants to shudder, "techno-organic. She is obviously packing to stay." They show Sari holding the suitcase, and following Optimus in.

He stands, furious, and considers going outside to punch the reporterbots hovering around like rust-flies on a greyed-out shell. "This is—How can they say things like this?"Optimus storms over to the com console, punching in the frequency for the news station airing this despicable broadcast.

Sari stares blankly at the screen for a moment, "I am so not your mistress, Optimus. Just. Ew. "She turns and curses, darting over to slam her hand down on the cancel button. "And you are so not contacting the media about this. "

"But they're do-"

She punches him hard enough to dent, "No. Your bot Ultra told you to sit the fuck down, and that's what you're doing." She shoves tugs on him, and he drops on the couch. "You're being an idiot. Let someone that won't rant about how wrong they are talk to them. Ranting at a bot that records you to play on live newscasts only serves to make you look crazy."

"It's not _right_, the things they're saying about you, Sari," Optimus wants a thousand things, not the least of which is a world that doesn't treat Sari like trash.

"And we'll deal with it, Optimus," she pats his arm. "But let's not make it worse while trying to make it better, alright?"

For her sake, he'll do this. "Alright. "He turns his attention back to the news—he'll need to watch the entire recording if he wants to file charges against them.

"-as you know, it's not precisely legal to report on a specific courting couple, thanks to the Courtship Doctrine put into law back before any of us were even protoforms yet," the anchorbot femme says cheerily, turning to her mech cohost. "But in cases where it appears infidelity is present, we are allowed a bit more leeway. "She turns a sad face towards the camera, "It's only out of our concern for the courting couple, of course. Will they be able to repair their relationship after this mishap?We turn to relationship counselor Ironflame for his opinion. It's good to have you on the program, Ironflame. "

The larger steel-colored mech smiles back at her, "It's good to be here. "

"Do you think that Ultra Magnus will handle this interaction with the techno-organic well?"

"Well, she is _only_ a techno-organic," the bot begins, and Optimus mutes the audio, cracking the controller with the force used to press the button.

She sighs, "I'm used to it, Optimus."

He gives her a pained look, "You _shouldn't_ be, though! Are you sure I can't-"

"_No_. You can _not_ call them and yell. Call, I don't know," she waves a servo, "Prowl. Call Prowl."

Sitting in front of the com, he turns the vidscreen on and presses in the frequency for the _Death's Head_. Prowl or Jazz are always more likely to answer it than Lockdown. Just as anticipated, Prowl answers it with a brisk, "You haven't done anything foolish, have you?"

Optimus scowls at him, "No, I haven't, Prowl. Though no one could blame me if I did. "

Sari calls out, "I would!"

He glares over his shoulder, and she gives him a cheeky smile. He turns back to the screen, and Prowl gives him a dirty look, "As would I."

Jazz pops in his head, "Sorry, OP, but I'd have to agree. You need to keep your cool about this, dig?"

Optimus starts to open his mouth to respond when there's an indistinct sound of Lockdown that's slowly getting louder, "-s that Optimus?" The bounty hunter shows up on screen, and sits down, yanking Jazz onto his lap, giving him a look clearly showing how unimpressed he is, "You are going on a date with the Magnus," Lockdown turns to Sari, and smiles at her, "and you are going to be chaperoning them."

"Seriously?" Sari whines, "I have to go on an actual date and watch them make puppy-eyes at each other?"

Lockdown's servo slides up to rub at Jazz's chest, "Yup. Preferably someplace extremely public. And you're gonna wanna make sure everyone hears you tell them they still aren't allowed to kiss. Feel free to throw in some slams against Magnus, and how he's not good enough for Optimus, because he's only got 'facing on the processor. "He hisses when Prowl slaps his servo.

"No fondling sparkplates while this vidscreen is turned on, Lockdown. "

The mech blinks down at Jazz's chest in confusion, "Uh yeah." The bounty hunter's servos move from Jazz's plates to the ninjabot's waist. "As I was saying, someplace very public. And either tonight, or in the morning. The sooner the better."

Sari makes a face, "At least I've eaten. We'll call Ultra, and tell him what we're doing then. Did you know I have to make sure he doesn't kiss Optimus via vid screen?"

Lockdown tsks, shaking his head. "Bad form, that. They'll never make it past the hand holding stage if they can't hold out."

Optimus watches as Lockdown's servos start to drift up Jazz's frame again, so he hurries to reassure him, "We've already promised to be on better behavior. But enough about that. I need to contact Ultra Magnus now. "The hook steadily nears sparkplates. "So, thank you for your help, goodbye. "He disconnects the call before they can reply.

Ninjabots.

He enters Ultra's frequency in and waits for the mech to answer.

Ultra answers almost immediately, "Optimus!" The way the mech looks at him makes his spark flutter, "I see you've managed to get him to calm down, Sari. Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

Sari speaks before Optimus can, "You two are going on a date. Tonight. Lockdown and the AllSpark's orders. It doesn't like me being accused of sleeping with one half of a courting couple, much less," She sticks out her glossa in disgust, "the _virgin_ half of the couple. God, you are _so old_, Optimus, and you haven't slept with anyone."

Optimus's faceplates are dusted with a blush, "That isn't important, Sari. We need to make the news stop accusing us of breaking the courting."

Ultra straightens up, "And who are we having as the chaperon?"

Sari gives Ultra a smile, unfriendly and full of denta. "I am."

"We have not had you as a chaperone yet. I look forward to it," Ultra smiles—though Optimus notes that it's not entirely genuine. "I know you are not fond of energon, Sari, so perhaps we could attend a movie showing, or a theater event?There are several I am sure Optimus will enjoy. "He types a bit and a list of events scroll on the bottom of the screen. "Do either of you have any specific preferences?"

Sari narrows her optics, "Yeah. Try not to pick something too boring. "

Optimus shakes his head, not recognizing anything; he's really been off-planet far too long. "I'm sure whatever you choose will be fine."

Ultra glances through the list, "You wanted a public place?" Sari nods, and he continues, "There's an open air theater showing in a megacycle, and I can get tickets."

Sari rolls her optics, "Then do that, and come over here."

"I will see you soon, Optimus," Ultra gives him a look that makes his spark leap in its chamber.

After the call is disconnected, Sari shakes her head at him, "You've got it so bad, Optimus. "She pushes him off the chair. "Get your ass moving. You're all scuffed up from carrying my stuff around. "

He doesn't look that bad. Examining himself in the mirror, he polishes a few marks away. Being too clean is just an invitation for some horrible accident that'll result in dozens of dents and gouges. Fate has worked that way far too often.

He watches as Sari goes into her room, and comes out with her jetpack. Watching her put it on, he sighs, "Aren't _you_ going to polish up?"

She gives him a dirty look, "Waiting for Magnus to get his butt over here, then going to, ugh, ask the AllSpark to clean us all. I'd just do us two, but that will only feed the rumors. And you know what it is like when I ask on two separate occasions when I'm all shined up, rather than all at once."

Optimus winces, just remembering how bright she was shining gives him a slight processor ache, "We had to dim our optics for decacycles."

"I so don't want a repeat of that event, thanks. "Sari sits down to wait for Ultra to arrive. "I hope he didn't pick something that'll put me to sleep. You robots have really bad taste sometimes. "

He pats her shoulder, "I'm sure he will try to select something we can all enjoy, Sari. "

She sticks her glossa out at him in disgust, "Or choose something so terrible he _hopes_ I fall asleep so he can grope you."

Optimus looks away, trying to hide the faint blush the comment caused, "He wouldn't do that."

Sari shakes her head, "You are making him _far_ more noble than he really is, Optimus. He isn't like you. He's old, and he wants to fuck you through the floor."

"Sari! Ultra is-"

She sighs, waving a servo to make him quiet down, "Fine. I won't say it again, but he would prefer if you'd just open up right now." He opens his mouth to say something, but she rushes on, "That _is not_ saying that he'll use you once, and leave. Guy would bond with you r_ight now_ if he thought it would work, but you want a traditional courting." She looks at him in concern, "You need to remember that. He's doing this for you, but you're the one that has your heart in it and he's only along for the ride."

"You should still watch your language, Sari. "Certainly, it doesn't help that she put the image of Ultra Magnus throwing him on the floor into his processor. His fans whirr on and off indecisively.

She turns abruptly green, "Oh God, you're thinking about 'facing him right now. "

"No," he lifts his servos and forces his fans off, flushed hot, "Not at all. "

She turns away, clearly still grossed out, "Fine, whatever. I ca-" There's a knock at the door. "Go answer it, Optimus."

He walks over, frame still slightly hot, and checks who's on the other side. Smiling when he sees it's Ultra, he opens the door. He holds his servo out, and pulls the bot in. He sighs out happily, "Ultra."

The larger mech lets his optics skim Optimus's frame. "You look good, Optimus. "

He ducks his head and pulls Ultra over to Sari. "We'll look better after Sari shines us up. "

"I just want to state that I am polishing you," she points at Ultra Magnus, "under protest. If I didn't have to, I wouldn't, no matter how much the AllSpark insists I should. "

Ultra frowns, "You don't have to if you don't want to, Sari. We can just head out how we are, since polishing will tak-"

"That kind of shining is for suckers, we aren't doing it," she snaps, and flies up to Optimus's shoulder. "Hand up here."

Ultra gives her a confused look, and Optimus clears his throat, "She means servo. Put your servo on my shoulder as she does this. She needs to be touching both of us for the AllSpark to do the work."

"If that's what you need." Ultra puts his servo on Ultra's shoulder, next to Sari. He watches just long enough to see Sari put a ped on Ultra's finger before offlining his optics quickly. "Ultra you may want to-"

"Too late!" Sari yells excitedly and goes still. A moment later, he feels her moving again, "Okay, done."

Onlining his optics, he sees Ultra is blinking rapidly, "That was very bright."

While Ultra is still trying to regain his vision, Optimus gives Sari a stern look. "You did that on purpose. "

"Did what on purpose?" she asks innocently, putting on her sweetest smile. "Polished us all to perfection?Yes, I did do that on purpose, but it hardly merits being scolded. "

Ultra squeezes Optimus's shoulder gently, removing his servo before Sari has a chance to yell at him for letting it linger. "I'll remember to offline my optics faster, should this ever happen again. "

She flits over to Ultra's shoulder, and settles into a comfortable sitting position, "Of course you will. No one leaves them on more than twice." She smirks, "You two can hold hands while we head to wherever we're going. I'll be here the entire time, and reminding you not to get _too_ close."

She kicks her peds playfully, and Optimus barely hides the wince when she hits Ultra's armor on the backswing. Ultra shows no sign of being bothered by it, so Optimus doesn't ask her to stop. He's not sure she would, in any case. "What is the theater showing?"

"It's a modernized version of an old classic play," Ultra walks with them until they're out of the building. "It's a bit of a distance to the theater. "He turns to Sari, still on his shoulder. "Would you prefer to ride in my cab, or in Optimus's?"

She kicks Ultra again, and Optimus still can't tell if it is an accident or not, before answering, "You. If only to prove that you are willing to have me in your cab _just like Optimus_, and the news needs to not freak out about it. You have seatbelts, right?"

Ultra nods, "I do, and that's a very good point." They watch as Sari flies down to the ground before transforming. She climbs into Ultra's seats, shutting the door firmly behind her. "That feels quite odd."

Optimus can't hear her response, but from the way Ultra starts apologizing, it couldn't have been very complimentary. He sighs, "Let's head to the play, then?"

Cybertron is built for driving, and Optimus takes the chance to enjoy how smooth and perfectly even the road surface is. He gets as close to Ultra Magnus as he can without risking crashing into him, or Sari yelling at him for being inappropriate. "We're being recorded," he says simply, aware of the countless bots watching them eagerly.

"Of course we are, Optimus," Sari says, "don't be stupid. "

He sighs, "I still don't like it."

She looks like she wants to yell at him, but Ultra cuts in gently, "It is something you're going to have to get used to, Optimus. You're a hero now, and no one is going to ignore you."

"I'm not a _hero_ for doing what had to be done," he insists, voice firm.

Sari laughs, "Yeah. Keep telling yourself that. You're a _pretty hero_. Exactly _how_ many times has _Playbot_ contacted you?"

Optimus splutters, "That's" he is almost positive his plates are flushing, even in vehicle mode, "Once. And then I blocked their frequencies. "

Ultra Magnus chuckles, until Sari asks, as sweet and sugary as can be, "And what about you, Ultra?Have you ever been contacted to pose for dirty pictures?"

He's treated to the sight of the Magnus jerking to one side before righting himself again. "Ah, well, I was contacted by a similar group when I was first appointed Magnus. But it would have been terribly improper to have accepted. "

Sari laughs loudly, "Of course. See, Optimus? _Everyone_ got contacted when they got famous enough."

Ultra asks, tone far too innocent to be true, "What about you, Sari? Are you included in that everyone?"

Optimus can imagine her smirk, and as she replies, "Why wouldn't I be?" he shudders, he remembers when they did. "I almost took them up on it, too." He nearly swerves off the road in shock, he did not know that, but Sari continues on, "But I decided against it since it would most likely only step up the harassment I get from random bots. Still keep in contact with the owners. Some of the nicest bots you'll ever meet."

She is going to fit in with her future ninjabot neighbors just fine.

"It's good that you're making friends," he finally manages, though he can't really claim he approves of them. Sari is her own person, and she deserves to make decisions on her own, so long as they are not harmful.

They pull up to the open air theater, and Sari steps out of Ultra, looking as if she was freshly shined. He's also slightly pleased to note that the two of themand Ultra are the only ones that look like that. All the other bots are clearly suffering from traveling on the road.

Sari flies up to Ultra's shoulder again, "You can hold servos," it saddens him she's changing how she talks for the bots listening in, but takes Ultra's servo, "but no getting too close. It was bad enough I had to stop you two from _kissing_ earlier."

At this rate, Optimus is going to need to convince Ratchet to write some kind of work-around for this, since it continually makes him blush this badly. "We already apologized for that, Sari. Do I really need a constant chaperon at this point?"

She just gives him a look, which is exaggerated for the bots watching them, "Of _course_ you do, Optimus. You think we're stupid enough to leave you completely alone when Ultra has _so_ many excuses to just drop by for a visit?"

"He doesn't have that many excuses to visit my home, Sari." Ultra squeezes his servo, making him smile.

Sari gives him a devious look, and he instantly regrets what he just said, "You're _right_, Optimus. We'll make sure Cliffjumper and Blurr keep you apart while at work."

Shoulders slumping, Ultra vents a long sigh, which cuts off when Sari kicks him rather hard. "You shouldn't be trying to work around the courtship rules, you dirty old bot. "When he doesn't reply, she kicks him again, "Stop thinking about touching our innocent Optimus." She locks optics with his, "Or you'll have to stop holding hands again."

Ultra shudders, "I'll be good."

Sari smirks, and kicks him again, right in the dent she made but not as hard, "Good. Because I _can_ tell when you're misbehaving." She tilts her head back and forth, and her voice is sing-songy, "AllSpark doesn't approve of you not following the rules, Ultra."

They find their seats and settle down in them. Optimus wishes he could lean again Ultra and soak up his warmth. He does not.

Ultra manages to be very good, and doesn't even rub their fingers together. Optimus winces whenever _he_ tries because Sari punishes Ultra with a swift kick when he does. After the second kick, he focuses entirely on the play.

The play _is_ a more modern version of a classic he remembers vaguely from the accadamy. Pretty standard fare, too. Two mechs are in love with a femme, and the femme cannot choose between the two of them and another femme. The second femme loves both the first femme and one of the mechs. He's slightly amused that they have one of the mechs as a ninjabot, but that's about it.

They'd kissed several times, in various combinations, and each on-stage kiss made Optimus want to kiss Ultra even more. Had he known this courtship was going to make him _want_ so much, he would have kissed the other bot far more times before they began. The play seems to be approaching its climax, with the ninjabot orchestrating a series of ridiculously implausible events in order to bring all the bots involved closer together.

He is unsurprised that it _does_ end in a happy foursome, even though he distinctly remembers the original had a more realistic ending; the femmes ended up together and the mechs paired up out of shared disappointment. Sari looks both disgusted and bored, so when they clap at the ending, she's clearly happy it has _ended_.

Ultra makes them stay after for far longer than Optimus is really comfortable with, since part of being here _was_ to prove Sari isn't 'facing him, he manages not to make a face of disgust at the idea of 'facing Sari, a bot he watched _grow up_ who is his _team mate_.

When they leave, they drive together only a short while, with Sari in Optimus's cab. At the halfway point, they say their goodbyes, and Optimus longs for a kiss, but dutifully drives back to his apartment. They didn't want people to simply assume that Sari was interfacing _both_ of them. He sighs to himself.

"You didn't have to dent his armor like that, Sari. "

"If the AllSpark hadn't wanted me to, his armor would have been perfectly fine. You _know_ you can't dent or scuff after getting cleaned up like that." She steps out of his cab when they get to the apartment building.

He returns to bot mode, "_Still_. It wasn't needed. He was behaving."

They walk into the building, nodding at the securitybot, "And punishing him meant that _you_ stopped, and I didn't have to shoot you."

The securitybot stops them before they reach the elevator, "Is it true that Sari Sumdac will be staying with you for now, sir?"

"She will, yes," he answers, watching the bot carefully. Optimus is not above getting the bot fired if he can't be polite to Sari.

The bot smiles brightly, "That's fantastic, sir. A bot going through a courtship really ought to have some family staying with him. "The elevator arrives and the securitybot takes a step back. "If any of the residents upset you in any way, you let me know right away, sir, Sari. I've been doing sweeps of the building for bugs now that we know it's a problem, but we haven't finished reviewing all the residents yet. "He lets them both get on the elevator and adds, "So let me know if there's trouble. "

Sari looks up at him cautiously, "Yeah. I'll do that. "

"I have a brother who was onlined with a couple blue streaks over his plates. It's not right way you get treated for that," the bot explains. "But you're busy. I won't keep you any longer. Just remember, let us know if there are any problems. "

Sari smiles, "We will. And your brother's paint; if he can cover it up, means the AllSpark loves him. If he can't, it means the AllSpark has blessed him."

The bot looks like he wants to say something, but the elevator closes, and they head on up. He looks over at Sari, "It's nice to know not _everyone_ is a jerk about this."

She leans on him, "Yeah . You know, Optimus, you never told me that you had _clear_ plates before you switched modes. Why did I have to learn about this from the news awhile back?"

Immediately flushing brilliant red, Optimus stutters, "I, uh, well, you see-"

"C'mon, Optimus, don't hold back now. I wanna hear why you never mentioned it. "

"It wasn't important?" He rushes into his apartment, "And the topic never came up?I mean, they weren't _clear_ so much as they were blue glass. I had metal plates behind them."

She follows him in, "I saw that, and the AllSpark immediately started bitching at me about it."

Optimus hides his face in his servos, "Can we not talk about this? Please?"

Sari lands softly on his shoulder. She drops into a sitting position, and pats him on the servo, "AllSpark just keeps bugging me to tell you it is sad you stay in your earth alt mode." She pauses, "_I_ like that you kept it, though. Reminds me you loved earth."

Earth was vibrant and amazing, and Optimus was convinced that if all Cybertronians were forced to live a stellar cycle or two on the planet, they'd come back with a greater appreciation for all sentient beings. It had been one of the best things to ever happen to him — even taking the Decepticons and the war into consideration. He was not the same bot now that he was back then, and he is happy about that.

He tilts his head over, and bumps Sari's head into his own, "Not loved, _love_. I haven't stopped."

She hugs him tightly, "Good." She hold onto him for a bit longer before letting go reluctantly. "But, it is time for me to sleep, Optimus. Me trying to sleep earlier wasn't just me hiding from you."

He pats her gently on the head, "Go recharge, Sari. It's been a long day."

* * *

Optimus had never had a chance to visit the Quartz Court when he'd been studying at the Academy. Many of his peers had gone, as it was a popular romantic location, but he'd avoided it intentionally. With no one to go with, there had been little point in it.

Looking at the crystals, with the warm, reassuring weight of Ultra's arm around his waist, Optimus is glad his first chance to see them is with a bot he cares so deeply about.

He rests his head on Ultra's shoulder, fingers rubbing the other bot's arm. "Do you think the pictures in Lockdown's next issue are going to focus more on ninjabots or on the crystals?"

Ultra chuckles, "He's taking pictures of crystals right now, with us artfully posed in the background. I'm fairly sure most of the captions will be horribly spelled accusations of crystals not liking ninjabots enough, though."

It sounds precisely like something Lockdown would do. They walk together, while Jazz and Prowl try to convince Lockdown to take pictures of other things. Or try to convince him to agree to a bit of semi-public interfacing. Optimus doesn't want to know for sure.

"It's beautiful out here," Optimus murmurs. "I'm glad we agreed to come. "

Ultra leans over, and there's a shout from Lockdown, "Hey! Don't make me throw a rock at your head, Magnus. No kissin' 'til the end of the date."

Ultra sighs, and tugs Optimus's embarrassed frame closer, "Lockdown knows good places to visit. This is a lovely area for a date."

"It is," he never realized how much he appreciated being able to touch Ultra Magnus until his ability to do so had been removed. Making sure Lockdown is out of audio range, he lowers his voice, "And I look forward to that kiss."

The larger mech's optics dim, "As do I. "

Optimus rubs his forehead against Ultra's arm. "It is nice to be with you, and not feel like I'm being watched or punished for it."

Ultra touches the dent Sari put on him from kicking, "Or be actually punished for it."

The firetruckbot reaches up to touch the dent. "I'm sorry for that. It was my fault."

The Magnus shakes his head and catches Optimus's servo in his, "Don't try and take the blame for this. I don't regret having the dent. "He smiles, "It only reminds me of why I have it. And I enjoy thinking about you. "

The larger bot leans in, tipping Optimus's face close. Lockdown yells out, "Hey!" and then Ultra is hit directly in the helmet with a rock. "Need me to separate you two?"

Rubbing the back of his helmet, Ultra Magnus chuckles, "Well, he's not as strict as Sari, but he's determined to not less us bend the rules either. "His optics study Optimus's mouth for a klik, before looking up once more, "So very disappointing. "

Flushed and running hot, Optimus links his fingers with Ultra's and tugs him deeper into the crystal gardens. "We just have to be patient. "

"For you, I could wait until the end of time," Ultra murmurs, following him easily.

The reminder that the mech is waiting for him makes his engine rev, and he steps out into an area where Lockdown can see them, and not feel the need to yell at them again. "I don't plan on making you wait that long."

"That's very reassuring," Ultra says playfully, stopping in front of a cluster of red and blue crystals. His fingers rub against Optimus's. "I've always liked this color combination. "

Optimus ducks his head down to hide his smile. Primus, he wants to kiss him so badly.

Letting go of the larger mech's servo, he tucks himself back under Ultra's arm, "Just add some white, and it would be even better."

Ultra rubs foreheads with him, "I'd have to disagree."

Optimus ducks down again, resting against the other bot's chest, "That's fine." He carefully moves so he's no longer touching Ultra's plates, "I prefer you to crystals, anyway."

"I would certainly hope so," Ultra says, voice light, "I don't imagine the crystals hold conversations very well. And they certainly can't kiss you. "

Optimus flushes, "We're going to get scolded again. "

"I would take a scolding if it meant I-"

Optimus puts a finger over Ultra's mouth, "I know. I would, too. But you make me want to break the courting rules, and I _really_ want this."

The larger mech smiles, pulling his servo down, "And that's why I'm doing the courting. I'm willing to do this for you. Only you."

"I appreciate it," he says, and wonders if he could get away with pressing a kiss to Ultra's servo. He's not going to risk it; not this night. He wants to feel Ultra's mouth, and he has no desire to be hit with rocks himself.

"-not going to distract me," he hears Lockdown grumble, and the rapid shutter click of the special camera he's brought with him for the pictures. "I need to chaperon, and you will not distract me, even if you flash your sparks. Well, no, that would distract me. Gonna do it?"

Optimus turns around; Prowl is _licking_ Jazz's headlights, and from the way Jazz's optics are dimmed Optimus wouldn't be surprised if their plate locks disengaged, "Hey! Prowl, Jazz! Stop that. You are in front of commanding officers, and that is _not_ appropriate!"

He vaguely wonders if _he_ should throw a rock until Prowl sighs, and turns to him, "We _were_ trying to distract him to give you alone time, Optimus."

He pulls Ultra along with him, "Do you _want_ me to start over from the beginning?"

Prowl vents another sigh, "You want the courtship to be successful, so we want you to succeed. "It's clear he's not fond of the idea, however. No ninjabot is. To them, the idea of not being able to share one's spark with any bot other than your bonded is horrifying.

Optimus wants it more than anything.

The ninjabots sigh, still very close to each other, and Lockdown flips through his pictures, "I'd call that the end of this date, kids." The bounty hunter looks up, making a point of leering at Jazz and Prowl before turning to Optimus and Ultra, "Unless you have anything else in mind here?"

Optimus sets into the warmth of Ultra's arms, shaking his head. Ultra runs a pair of servos down his sides, making his spark jump with want, before saying, "I'd say we're done as well. Does that mean I get to kiss him good night?"

"Yeah," Lockdown says, raising a servo in warning, "but don't go pushing it too far. Or I'll make sure Sari knows all about it. "He thinks, "Assuming she doesn't already. "

Optimus doesn't really want to be watched in this, but they don't have a choice this time. He looks up at Ultra, pulling him down. "I had a very nice time with you today," he murmurs.

Ultra's servo rests on the small of his back, holding him carefully. "I look forward to our next date as well," and he tips Optimus's face up and presses their mouths together in a gentle kiss. Optimus's spark flutters, and his engine revs, a few fans kicking on when he hears an answering rev from Ultra. He breaks the kiss reluctantly, face and frame hot. Primus, a kiss without even a hint of glossa, and it got him like this?He startles when he hears a camera click again.

"That was just beautiful, kids," Lockdown purrs, "brought tears right to my optics."

Dropping his servos guiltily, he tries desperately to kill the program that's making him blush so hotly. "I'll just go home, then?" he mutters, edging away from Ultra.

Lockdown smirks, "Prowl will go with you, if you want. Otherwise, I need to talk to the Magnus about something he needs to know." Optimus wants to ask why _he_ can't know, but Lockdown answers before he can even open his mouth, "And if Sari ever decides you need to know, then she'll tell you."

Prowl falls into step alongside Optimus while the others walk away, Ultra waving goodbye to him. "If it's something he wants to tell him in private, it's not something you'll want to hear," Prowl offers.

Optimus vents a sigh, "Yes, I suppose so. "

Prowl pats his shoulder consolingly, "Let's get you back to your apartment. I'm sure Sari is watching some terribly confusing movie we can enjoy halfway through with her. "

His spark protests the neglect he'd have to endure if that happens, but nods. "Sounds good," he murmurs weakly.

Prowl transforms, and he quickly follows suit. "Optimus, I really wasn't trying to break your courting."

Wheeling back and forth, he then starts to take off down the road. "I know, Prowl. But it really is on thin ice right now. That will be more acceptable later on, but for now we need to be careful."

Prowl drives next to him, still using his earth altmode. The addition of handlebars on a cyclebot must surprise a fair number of Cybertronians. The seat must be equally as strange to them. He's not sure why Prowl has kept that form—perhaps his love of Earth, or the possible need to carry Sari someday. Or his lovers like it. Optimus shudders; most likely the last option. He _is_ a ninjabot, after all.

They get back to his apartment in no time at all, and he has a smile for the securitybot, the same one on duty as when Sari moved in. They walk to the elevator easily, and Optimus tries not to think about the kiss with Ultra. Prowl gives him a _look_, and he blushes slightly, staring at the floor.

He's greeted by the sound of screams, explosions, and monstrous roars. Sari is watching some monster movie, apparently. His spark aches with need.

She looks over the back of the couch specifically kept for her use. "Hey, Optimus. You have fun on your date?" She eyes him up and down, and Optimus feels his blush spread, his engine still running far too hot. "Uh, yeah. You should go to your room, Optimus. Like, now. Prowl and I will just watch this movie together. Or something"

He fidgets, "I don't wan-"

Sari gets up, armoring as she talks, "You're right. Prowl and I are going to go for a ride. Don't expect us back any time soon." She takes the ninjabot's servo in hers, tugging him back out the door, "In fact, I'll go check out that ninjabot neighborhood you guys are trying to get me into. Prowl can get in, right?"

"Actually, Jazz is th-" She hits him painfully.

"See? He can. No need to wait up." She pushes Prowl out, and closes the door behind her.

Optimus vents an embarrassed sigh of relief when they're gone, and locks himself in his room. That had been particularly mortifying. They just _left_ so he could self-service! After checking the room for bugs, he sits on his berth and lets his sparkplates unlock. He might as well make use of the time he's been given.

* * *

A decacycle later, Optimus finds himself laying on his berth again. He has no work scheduled for this solar cycle, and no dates either. Sari is off with Prowl and Jazz again, and there's nothing urgent that he needs to get done. He's considering just going back into recharge when he gets a message from Ultra Magnus.

His spark warms at the fact that Ultra even _thought_ of him, much less sent him what could only be a video file. It is only labeled "Watch all the way through, Optimus." He briefly considers getting up to get a cube of energon while he watches it, but his berth is warm, and it isn't like anyone will _know_ he watched it laying down. Curling up comfortably, he opens the file.

Ultra Magnus is smiling into the camera, and he waves his servo, "Hello, Optimus. I hope you're feeling well this morning. I chose to send this on a solar cycle when you should have plenty of time to yourself." He sits on the edge of his berth, and Optimus takes note of how very large it is. Optimus flushes, imagining sharing it with him.

"Before you close this and try contacting Sari or Lockdown, I want you to know that Lockdown is the one who informed me of this tradition." Optimus is distracted by the way Ultra's servos are slowly stroking his own frame. "It was originally meant to show your intended that your spark was fully functional, healthy, and," his optics dim, "capable of overload. "

Optimus squeaks and shuts the recording off. Primus, had Ultra really just sent him self-servicing footage? His engine practically _roars_ at the thought.

He is seriously considering deleting it, but Ultra said to watch it _all_ in his title. It is possible he put something else along with the the . His spark flutters and dances in his chest as his fans kick on high.

Well, it won't _hurt_ to watch it all. If anything, it couldn't be worse than all those self-servicing videos he _had_ to watch of Shockwave's minibots when they were held captive. At least Ultra won't look as depressed and broken as Cliffjumper and Furao did.

* * *

Optimus watches as Ultra's plates close, "I don't expect you to send a video of yourself. I don't need to know how prettily you overload until we bond. It can be something I can look forward to." Ultra stands up, and whispers into the camera just before he turns it off, "I love you, Optimus Prime."

He watches that part a dozen times before carefully locking the file away under his highest security firewalls. Optimus is absolutely not going to risk the file being found during a medical scan, and he's just as unwilling to delete it. Not after what Ultra said.

Primus, how was he going to look Ultra in the optics after having seen this?

* * *

The answer, it seems, is that he _won't_ be looking Ultra in the optics. At least, not without blushing a red so dark it matches his armor. The mech had given him a look that was half-amused and half-concerned and asked if he was feeling well. Optimus had barely been able to stutter out an affirmative, and had then locked himself in his office.

He stares blankly at the datapad he's holding. Though Ultra had said he didn't need to make a vid for him, Optimus felt obligated. But he refuses to bare his spark in a video file that has any chance of being intercepted. He flushes again. He should not be thinking about this while he is _working_.

There's a knock at his door, and he forces himself to stop blushing. He's done _nothing_ wrong, and he doesn't want to give anyone the wrong impression. He opens the door to Cliffjumper and Blurr blocking the entrance to Ultra.

Blinking at the sight, he coughs to get their attention; Ultra is the only one who looks embarrassed at being caught, while Blurr and Cliffjumper both seem to jump on the embarrassment as a reason he _shouldn't_ be there. CLiffjumper starts berating Ultra as Blurr turns to Optimus, "Optimus-Prime,-sir. -Ultra-Magnus-says-that-he-has-a-meeting-with-you,-but-Cliffjumper-says-there-is-no-such-thing. -We-were-told-to-keep-the-both-of-you-separated,-as-you-well-know,-and-Sari-told-Cliffjumper,-who-told-me,-that-Ultra-broke-a-rule,-even-if-it-is-Lockdown's,-and-not-his, fault."

Optimus gives him a confused look, "Fault? What?"

"Lockdown's,-sir."

Optimus rubs his forehead, "No, fault for what? I got distracted by Cliffjumper yanking Ultra away and down the hallway."

"Apparently,-Lockdown-did-not-provide-an-adequate-explanation-of-what-was-and-was-not-allowed-during-a-specific-stage-of-the-courtship,-and-he-prompted-Ultra-Magnus-into-doing-this-step-long-before-he-was-supposed-to,-sir." Blurr stands sharply at attention, until Optimus waves a servo at him tiredly.

"Relax, Blurr. Come into my office, so we can discuss this more privately. "There are few random bots who have the clearance to come walking down these specific hallways, but it's best to be cautious.

In his office, with the door locked once more, Optimus sits and gazes across his desk at Blurr. For someone so fast, Blurr is capable of standing remarkably still. "Do you know what Ultra supposedly did wrong?"

"Oh,-I-would-never-speculate-on-such-matters,-sir,-as-that-is-most-disrespectful,-but-when-Bumblebee-got-in-contact-with-Sari,-he-fell-onto-the-floor-and-laughed-for-a-good-solid-breem,-though-I-did-not-feel-comfortable-asking-him-why. "

Optimus hides his face in his servos, dropping down so his head hits the desk. "I bet all but Bulkhead know now," comes the muffled reply.

Optimus hears nervous movement before Blurr asks, "Know-what,-sir?-And-why-wouldn't-Bulkhead-know?"

Optimus groans, not wanting to say what happened _at all_, "Bulkhead wouldn't know because we really would _not_ want him to know. And you said Lockdown is at fault for the rule breaking?"

"Yes,-sir!"

"You can ask _Jazz_ about it, you know. I" he flushes, thinking about the video, "I don't want to talk about it. Jazz knows."

"I-will-consider-it,-sir,-though-I-will-most-likely-not-inquire,-as-it-really-is-none-of-my-business," Blurr makes no move to leave.

Optimus looks at him, "Do you not have work to get back to, agent Blurr?"

"None-more-important-than-making-sure-that-Ultra-Magnus-doesn't-try-to-sneak-in-your-office-at-the-moment,-sir. "

Optimus vents a sigh and hands a datapad to Blurr, "Make yourself useful, then. "

* * *

Optimus locks the door to his apartment behind him, smiling at Sari. She waves at him from the couch, and turns back to flipping through the channels as she says, "I got you a cube of energon. You see it on the table?"

Glancing over, he frowns, "Sari, that's the expensive stuff. I'm not really sure if I should be-"

"You're drinking that because your modded dispenser broke."

He picks up the cube, sipping it hesitantly, it is significantly more refined than what he's used to, even more than what the unmodded dispensers have, "What _kind_ of 'broke,' Sari? Did you break it?"

"Never even touched it."

He looks at the dispenser he'd modded, it doesn't _look_ broken, "That still doesn't say what _type_ of broken."

She peers at him over the edge of the couch, "The type of broken where the AllSpark decided I was too close to it, and it was going to upgrade it?"

He looks at the dispenser mournfully, "And if I switch them, the AllSpark will just change it, won't it?"

She walks over, patting him on the back of the leg, "It doesn't like that you're drinking that when Ultra was trying to get you the best energon he could for you." She pauses, "I haven't been to the other rooms with dispensers, and you could try modifying those?"

He sighs, sipping on the cube he's still holding, "It will just find a way to punish me for it."

"You're supposed to like that higher quality fuel. I mean, it all tastes like slag to _me_, but doesn't it taste better to you?" She watches him with curiosity.

Sighing again, he stares mournfully at the cube, "I like ordinary energon. I don't need to have it refined and mixed with additives on a regular basis. It's a waste of resources. "

A tiny hand pats him again, "I guess you'll just have to suck it up and deal with it. You poor thing," she says sarcastically.

He sighs, "I guess." He's about to put the cube down when there's a tapping at the window. Looking over at it, Sunstorm is flying just outside, holding Firefly. Sari and Optimus exchange a confused look before walking over. Opening the window, Optimus raises an optic ridge, "Any reason you're doi-"

Sunstorm shoves Firefly in his arms, "My beautiful Bee and I have something very important to discuss with the lovely Blurr, brave Optimus and blessed Sari. Would it be fine if you took care of our darling Firefly for the night?"

"Of course," Optimus says, balancing Firefly on his hip. "Will you be back before my shift starts tomorrow?"

Sunstorm hovers, and rubs his chin in thought, "I'm not sure. We'll get him at some point. Just take him with you if you have to." He smiles brilliantly, "You've no idea how thankful we are for your supreme kindness in this matter. "Leaning through the window, he kisses Firefly's forehead, "I will see you later, my little bug. "

Optimus watches bemusedly as the Seeker flies away, and looks down at the sparkling, who stares up at him with wide red optics. "I hope the dispensers provide sparkling-grade energon. "

Sari goes to check as he shifts Firefly into a more comfortable hold. "Uh, I think it does?" Sari pokes the dispenser and there's a soft flash of blue light. She sighs, "Well, if it didn't, it sure does now."

Optimus shrugs, "Well, it is better than figuring out how to modify it so it does. No harm done."

Firefly looks out the window, "Fly?"

Optimus closes it quickly, "Not out there, that's for sure."

The sparkling pouts for a nanoklik, before refocusing his attention on Sari. "Fly with me?"

She looks at Optimus, "You mind if we fly around your living room?"

"Go ahead," he hands Firefly to her, "I'll see if I can't find a sparkling berth somewhere down in storage. "

Firefly immediately takes to the ceiling, and he smiles as Sari follows him, before stepping out of the door. He does a quick sweep for bugs, finding none, and heads down to the storage area. Searching through all his stuff, he's slightly surprised to _actually find_ a small sparkling berth. It took him a half a megacycle to get to, but now he has it in his sub-space. Putting everything back, in a slightly more organized way, he heads back up.

Going back up, he opens the door to Sari and Firefly drawing on various tablets. Well, Sari drawing, and Firefly chewing on the edge of one. "He behave while I was down there?"

"As well as can be expected," she says. "I gave him one of the pads that you really should have thrown out already. I'm not even sure it works anymore. Other than flashing at random when you push buttons. "

Firefly chews determinedly on the pad. Optimus watches. "I guess he's hungry. "

Sari shrugs, "If you say so, but babies do what they want."

Optimus shrugs, and walks over to the dispenser. Tapping it cautiously, he tastes the energon and nods. Sparkling blend full of nutrients a growing bot needs, and easy on the system not much taste, though.

He sits on the floor beside Firefly, and pulls the little mech onto his lap, datapad and all. "Do you want some energon, Firefly?"

"No. "The sparkling scowls at him, and crawls back onto the floor. Optimus puts the cube down on the table. If they intend to have him sparkling sit more often, he'll need to invest in a smaller set of cubes.

"Let me know when you do want to eat," he pulls out a bright set of building blocks he'd found near the sparkling berth. They're blunt and rounded, with connecting pegs and sockets, and a rather strong set of magnets. Optimus has the feeling that more of these blocks are going to end up on Firefly than on whatever he creates with them. "Do you want to build something with me?"

Firefly gives him a very calculating look, "No."

Seeing where this is going, Optimus shrugs, "That's fine. I'm going to make a truck."

He starts to work on the blocks, and Firefly props on the larger mech's knee, "Car."

"You want to make a car?" Optimus ignores Firefly's head shake, and puts a pile of blocks closer to the sparkling. "There's also parts to make a jet, or anything you want."

The sparkling picks up a pair of wings and reaches up to attach them to Optimus's helmet. He holds still to make it easier for Firefly, and then leans back, tipping his head from side to side, "You want to make _me_ into a jet? Do I look all right?"

"No," the mech adjusts one of the wings to get it more even with the other one.

Sari muffles a giggle behind her hand.

"You know, if Sari armors up, you can put some on her, too."

Firefly's optics brighten, "Sari?" Sari glares at Optimus, but armors up, moving over to let the sparkling put wheels on her pigtails, "Car?"

Biting his lip, Optimus nods, "Yes. But I'm not sure she'll be willing to drive around upside down like that. "

"Oh," Firefly blinks, and begins to put wheels in perfectly symmetrical patterns on Sari's arms and legs. "Is car now. "

"Yeah," Sari drawls out, "I'm gonna get right on that. As soon as I figure out how to transform, I'll roll right on out. "

Firefly spins a wheel, "Vroom."

"Yeah, vroom." She rubs Firefly's helmet. Her tone is amused and loving as she mutters, "Brat."

Optimus drops the truck he was working on, on the floor. It lights up and honks, making Firefly turn around to look at it, "No!" Firefly picks it up, and switches a few of the bricks so they're all one color. "Truck."

Sari exchanges a look with Optimus, and looks at the various things decorating them, "Well, you could _never_ tell who is a seeker sparkling, I'm sure."

"I wonder how he organizes his toys," Optimus muses, watching Firefly roll the truck around on the floor.

Sari scoffs, "You know Bee and Sunstorm have no willpower about things like that. I'm sure he has two of everything. "

Optimus nods, "That wouldn't be the least bit surprising." They watch as Firefly moves the lights on the truck so they light up symmetrically, and adds a few more wheels. "I wonder if he really isn't hungry."

Sari shrugs, "No clue, but we are _not_ calling to ask."

Optimus almost asks why, but he flashes to the significant pause Sunstorm had before saying they wanted to discuss something with Blurr. Shuddering, he returns to watching Firefly. "I wonder if I'll be able to look at Blurr in the optics when I see him tomorrow."

Laughing, Sari shoves his shoulder playfully, "Knowing you, Optimus? There's no way you'll be able to. If Blurr even goes to work tomorrow. "She shakes her head, "I bet he takes the day off. "

"That's unprofessional," he taps his fingers against his thigh. "But I suppose it's understandable if he does. "

Sari pulls the cube of sparkling energon over, poking it boredly. "I tried this stuff before, you know."

"And you said it was the second most edible energon you've ever had, right?" He watches as Firefly chews on one of the wheels on the truck.

"Yeah, after the candy Oil Slick made me."

Firefly's optics light up, "Candy?"

Optimus shakes his head, "You're not even hungry, Firefly. If you aren't hungry, why should we give you candy?"

"Want candy," the sparkling says rebelliously, crossing his arms over his tiny cockpit.

"Not unless you prove you're hungry enough for it by drinking your energon," Optimus takes the cube from Sari and offers it. Firefly glares at it.

"No!"

Optimus puts the cube off to the side, "That's fine." He picks up more of the blocks, and starts to build a small house, "Do you want more blocks, Firefly?"

"N-yes."

Optimus pushes more to him, and Sari starts to make a bot with five wings and three wheels. She seems to be choosing the most mismatched blocks she can, as well.

Firefly has stopped and is watching Sari. Optimus covers his mouth to hide a smile when Firefly helpfully pushes an extra wing and wheel to her.

Picking them up, Sari attaches the wing, but hands the wheel back to him, "Thank you, Firefly. It did need an extra wing. "

Firefly starts to push two wheels to her, only to add a third. Sari picks up a bright pink block and puts it next to a block that switches rapidly back and forth between neon green and orange, then picks up two of the wheels she was handed. "I suppose I can add more wheels if you insist, but I don't need that other one you gave me."

Optimus isn't really sure what exactly she's made, only that it used to look like a bot and now looks more like a ball of mismatched cubes and wings you can wheel around. Watching as Firefly's fingers clench unhappily, Optimus wonders how long Sari will get away with the affront against seekers everywhere of a toy.

Not long, if the way Firefly is eyeing it murderously is any indication. He offers the cube of energon again, "Hungry yet?"

Firefly studies the cube, and then gives it a disdainful look, "No. " He inches away from Sari's monstrous creation, as if contact with it will contaminate him.

Sari takes several more wings and sticks them even more randomly on her blob before pushing it gently towards Firefly. "Want to fix it?"

The sparkling's optics brighten, "Yes!" and proceeds to start to take it apart.

"Think he'll still say no to energon?" Optimus asks, smiling when Firefly strips the toy down to something more aesthetically appealing. He certainly picked up that bit of Seeker coding.

"I think he'll say no to anything except candy at this point," Sari reaches over to put a wing on the toy, and Firefly pulls the toy out of reach. "And we are so not feeding him candy. He'll never get to sleep if we do. "

"Point. Do you think I should I put the sparkling berth in your or my room?"

Sari shrugs, carefully removing two asymmetrical wheels from her frame and setting them down casually, "I think yours, and you can call me if you need me. He's at the age in human babies where it isn't unusual for them to want to sleep with their parents. If he's in my room, it is possible he'd break my bed."

"Your bed is rather fragile," Optimus admits. "Firefly would be far too heavy for the frame. " It had been difficult enough bringing things through the first time; requisitioning a replacement would be a nightmare. Perhaps he should hire some constructionbots to try building things Sari might like. He hasn't checked his specific financial status in ages, but he knows he should have enough for that.

Firefly finishes with the toy; it is back to being a bot, only with six wings and two wheels. Optimus comments absently, "He likes wings."

Sari shrugs, taking off another wheel,"He _is_ a flier. What do you expect?"

Optimus watches as Firefly makes little roaring noises as he makes the flying bot terrorize the truck, "He's also part carbot."

"He's already half Bee's size," she finishes removing all the wheels that Firefly put on her. "He's always gonna be a bit more flier than carbot. Probably use his wheels just as often as the Seekers do. "

He shakes his head, "I suppose so. " A tiny servo slams the truck into Optimus's ped. Repeatedly. "Did you want something, Firefly?"

"Hungry now," the bot whines, dropping the truck on the floor. "Candy?"

Optimus holds up the cube, "No candy unless you drink your energon."

"Noooo!" the sparkling whines, shaking his head and pouting.

Optimus shrugs, "Then I guess you don't want candy that badly."

Firefly makes a face and points at the cube, "Icky!"

Optimus looks over at Sari, "Do you think they've been feeding him normal energon?"

She shrugs at him helplessly, "It wouldn't surprise me, they _did_ take one of your dispensers."

He fills a cube partway with normal energon — disgustingly expensive normal energon - and brings it over for Firefly to taste. "Do you like this better?"

The sparkling nods petulantly, "Candy? Please?" He widens his optics and looks about ready to break into sobs.

"Primus," Optimus curses quietly, then looks to Sari, "do you think he picked that up from Skywarp?"

Sari tilts her head, "Looks kind of coached. Makes me think Scatterstar helped him with it."

Firefly instantly perks up at the secretarybot's name, "Scatter?" The little mech looks around expectantly.

Optimus carefully pushes the third of a cube of energon into Firefly's servos. "He's not here. And if you drink that, I will give you part of a piece of candy. Assuming I can find any. "

He's answered with narrowed, speculative optics. Firefly looks from the cube to Optimus, and then back at the cube. "Okay. " The sparkling sits down and sips from the oversized cube.

Optimus starts to search through the apartment for candy, really unsure if he does have any. He doesn't eat much of it himself, so never gets any. He eventually finds a single piece that was put behind Sari's food. Picking it up, he walks over to Firefly, who has finished the energon. "Sari? Did you put the candy in your food? I don't want to give him any if it's the type you got from Oil Slick."

She shakes her head, "Nope. All that stuff is safely put away."

Optimus looks down at Firefly tugging on his leg, "Candy?"

"Yes, Firefly," he pulls off a tiny bit of the candy and offers it to the sparkling, "candy for drinking all your energon. "

Firefly takes the tiny piece and stares at it for a long moment, before looking at the rest of the candy still in Optimus's servo. "Not fair. "

"Candy isn't good for sparklings in large amounts, Firefly," he reasons, tucking what is left of the candy into his subspace. "If you have a complete recharge cycle tonight, I'll let you have a little more in the morning. "

The little bot looks like he wants to throw a tantrum, but instead eats the candy. He clearly realizes that if he screams, it will get taken away. Sari and Optimus watch as Firefly chews and swallows before asking quietly, "More?"

Optimus shakes his head, patting Firefly gently, "No. You'll get sick. It is very likely I already gave you too much. You don't want to have a fuel tank ache, do you?"

The sparkling frowns, but shakes his head. The little mech lifts his arms, "Hold?"

Optimus picks him up, "Are you feeling tired, Firefly?" He has relatively little experience with sparklings, and no idea when they should start their recharge. He'll need to read up on it before he and Ultra — he flushes — have a sparkling of their own. Maybe Ultra would agree to spend one of their later dates together, watching Firefly, or some of the minibot sparklings?

"Not tired," Firefly says stubbornly, but he curls up against Optimus.

"Of course not," Optimus murmurs, rubbing the sparkling's back. He turns to Sari, "Let's watch something fairly quiet, shall we?"

She nods, "Sounds good to me. Want to watch one of my Disney films, Firefly?"

The sparkling blinks at her owlishly, "No?"

"Disney, it is. Let's do not Bambi. How about Snow White?" Sari nods, "Snow White." She wanders over, and works on the screen while Optimus sits on the couch.

Firefly is still choosing to sit on Optimus's lap. Optimus has seen this particular movie before, so he settles in for it, while Firefly watches the screen with curious optics. As the movie progresses, Firefly slumps down more and more, and Optimus can actually hear his fans and engines cycling down towards recharge. He'll offline shortly after the movie ends, Optimus guesses.

When they get to the credits, Firefly lasts for a klick before dropping into recharge. Standing up carefully, he bids Sari goodnight, and heads to his room. Pulling out the sparkling berth from his sub-space, he sets Firefly gently on it. The little bot blinks online, whining out, "Nooo " before falling back into recharge. Chuckling softly, he kisses the mech on his forehead, and settles into his own berth.

* * *

_Foreign objects detected on armor plating_, his internal sensors alert him when he onlines. Small insects or water leaks happened often on earth, so he is not terribly concerned about this. He onlines his optics and realizes the weight on his chest is a smiling sparkling. "Candy?"

He offlines his optics and sighs, "No, Firefly. When someone onlines, you ask them if they recharged well. Or you tell them 'good morning. '"

Firefly gives him a blank look, "Candy?"

Sighing, Optimus sits up, keeping hold of the little mech so he doesn't fall. "No wonder you're so spoiled. It would be easier to just give into your demands." Firefly's optics light up, "But no. No candy. It is time for morning energon, and I'm not feeding you something that will make you sick."

Firefly slams his fist down on Optimus's chest. Optimus laughs, catching his tiny fists. "Let's get you fueled up. If your parents aren't here soon, I'll have to take you to Autobot Command with me. "

He carries Firefly into the main room, getting energon for himself and the sparkling. Laughter makes him turn around to face Sari. "What's so amusing, Sari?"

She shakes her head, "You'll see eventually." Optimus hands Firefly a partial cube of energon as she informs him, "I'm going to be with Jazz and Prowl today, checking out the house."

He smiles, "Weren't you doing that before?"

She frowns, "No, that was me proving I'm a ninjabot, and that I _could_ join the community."

Optimus drinks some of his own cube, "and you passed?"

"With flying colors."

Firefly's head jerks up, "Fly? Colors?"

Sari laughs, "Figure of speech, kiddo. No flying right now. Maybe later."

The sparkling pouts, sipping on the energon he was given. Optimus pats his head, "You can fly in my office if your parents aren't here in the next breem." He'd managed to forget to set an alarm to get him online soon enough. He puts Firefly down so he can give himself a quick check in the mirror, and freezes at what he sees.

Every part of his frame is covered in stickers and decals—the kind used by rebellious bots during their early years. He turns and examines his back, which is just as plastered with the things. There is _no_ way he'll be able to get these off before he has to leave, unless he wants to be horribly late. Optimus is going to have _words_ with Bee about giving his sparkling things like this.

He'd forgotten that Firefly had put wings on his helmet; poking them, he realizes they are unlikely to come off since the sparkling had used the stickers to tape them down. Sighing, he picks up the little mech, who giggles happily and pokes at one of the stickers, "Colors."

Optimus offlines his optics, "Colors. Don't do this again, Firefly."

Sari does an abysmal job of hiding her giggles, finally giving up and laughing loudly at him. "Love the new look, Optimus. I bet Ultra will dig it too. "

"Thank you for your opinion, Sari," Optimus grits out.

Firefly tugs on one of his headfins, prompting Optimus to look at him again. "Candy?"

He shakes his head, "I believe I said you'd get it if you had a full recharge cycle." Tapping one of the stickers, he continues, "I'd have to say this proves you didn't recharge all the way through."

Firefly gives him a mournful look, "Noooo"

Optimus vents a long-suffering sigh. "If Bee or Sunstorm drop by, let them know I've got Firefly with me at Autobot Command. " When Sari nods through her giggles, Optimus carries Firefly out of the apartment. "And you'll be riding in my cab, Firefly. I am not letting you fly alongside when I know you'll go off and make me chase you down. "

Firefly pouts, but does not protest. They make it to the ground floor without incident, even if the securitybot is clearly trying not to laugh. Getting outside, Optimus transforms, and buckles Firefly into his cab.

While he's driving, he gets a com from Bulkhead. "Optimus?"

Firefly stares out his window in boredom, "Yes, Bulkhead?"

"Did you know you're on the news again?"

He gives a long suffering sigh, "Is it about being covered in stickers like a rebellious teenbot?"

"So you already saw it?"

"No I haven't, Bulkhead. I just guessed that would be the reason. Thanks for telling me."

"No problem, Optimus," the other bot says cheerfully. "Have fun at work today. "

Oh, he'd have something at work. Optimus was fairly certain it wouldn't be fun, however. "Thank you, Bulkhead. I hope you have a pleasant solar cycle as well. "

Firefly is squirming about on his seat, kicking his peds against his dashboard. "Please stop that, Firefly. "

The little bot whines unhappily, "No! Fly!"

"You can fly when we get to my office. You can wait that long."

Firefly crosses his arms, turning away and muttering unhappily, "No."

"I'm afraid you will have to," Optimus says, before Firefly goes silent, apparently unwilling to say any more. He carries Firefly the rest of the way to Command; it's not a long trip, fortunately. When they arrive, he transforms and keeps a firm grasp on Firefly, not wanting to lose him somewhere in the lobby. Some of the bots here are still a bit twitchy about flying bots.

The sparkling pounds tiny fists against his arm as he walks to his office, nodding at Cliffjumper as he passes the minibot. Optimus lets Firefly go after he shuts the door firmly behind him. The little jet makes a face at him as he flutters around.

Sighing, he sits at his desk. Checking the time, he realizes he can either get ready for the council meeting or get cleaned up. And, really, that is no choice at all; it isn't like there haven't been bots that have shown up almost offlined and covered in energon and oil. Stickers and toy wings on his head is nothing in comparison.

Preparing his notes, Optimus takes the time to study the reports he'll need to cover. Had he known that his promotion meant that he had to attend council meetings where he desperately tried not to fall asleep, or to give a report without boring everyone to tears, Optimus would have politely declined the upgrade in rank. assuming they would have allowed him to do so.

He glances at some of the stickers and decals on his frame. Luckily, they're mostly pictures, and only a few have inane or embarrassing slogans on them.

By the time he's done, Firefly is watching him interestedly, perched on his desk. Reaching over absently, Optimus pulls the sparkling into his arms as the little mech asks, "Candy?"

"Not going to happen."

Firefly sighs unhappily, and looks around as Optimus stands up. "Fly?"

"No. We're going to," Optimus sighs, "a council meeting."

"… fun?"

"I wish."

* * *

**Please review**

And again, this is only up because Vivenne Grainger did the italics, and I cut out porn rather visibly up there. Link to Vivenne Grainger is in my author's panel, and on my lj. Livejournal is also carrying the porn.

And really, _please review. _I like knowing what you think. If I don't know what you think, I can't do anything. I respond to every review that I can! I can't respond to anonymous reviews sadly. Not unless you have an email, but it would be better if you just have an account. I mean, I had mine way before I ever posted anything. It lets you save things on the website rather than you needing bookmarks!

But, yeah, I'm sure you don't really care.

Vivenne Grainger did the italics, and there is a link to my livejournal with the uncensored version in it.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, guys!

There is actually less days of fic to update than I had thought o3o;

But that is less to do with Tash and me not writing enough to draw it out, and more with Vienne being all, "10-20k words per chapter you say? I will stay at about 15k, but most likely more." When _I _was actually planning on the first one to be the longest! So it is because of Vivienne that you get more all at once!

She has all the chapters

All of them

Yeah! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

And she gave them all to me to give to you, so I kinda mangled that reference. Whatever.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers.

* * *

The council room is excessively large, and Optimus has never liked being here. He carries Firefly to the bowl-shaped space reserved for him, and puts the sparkling on one of the seats, offering him a datapad to draw on. "This is a very important meeting, so you should try to stay quiet."

Firefly gnaws on the edge of the datapad.

It isn't long until the meeting actually starts, and he's called to give his report on trying to find the jet twins and the remaining Decepticons. He hates that he has to give the same report that he's been giving for the last several decacycles; the longer it takes, the more he sees them slipping out of his grasp. He hates that Megatron and Starscream somehow escaped, and that Lugnut disappeared before they could even get to him.

He's nearing the end of his report when Firefly ignites his thrusters and leaps into the air. Optimus curses, and tries to grab him, but misses the little bot. Across the hall, Perceptor and Wheeljack share a look, and Optimus thinks they're laughing at him. With one bot's face covered with a mask, and the other largely expressionless, it is hard to tell.

He's waffling on if he should jump out of his area to grab the tiny mech, when Firefly alights on Ultra's shoulder. Relaxing visibly, Optimus smiles at Ultra when the bot tucks the sparkling gently in his arms. Glancing over at the other council members, he finishes up. Firefly spends the rest of the time with Ultra, either in the mech's arms or tucked gently between missile turrets.

Several other reports are given, and Optimus tries to stay attentive to them, but he really isn't meant for this type of work. Instead, he finds his attention drawn repeatedly to Ultra and Firefly. His spark flutters, seeing Ultra handling the sparkling so well. Someday, that could be _their_ sparkling. He ducks his head and scrolls through a datapad to hide his blush.

When everything is done, Optimus is intercepted part way though walking over to Ultra by Perceptor and Wheeljack. Wheeljack puts a servo on his arm, "You're heading over, and you know you can't be alone with him. We'll be with you, since a sparkling doesn't count."

Optimus can't help but laugh. "I'm just going to be-"

Perceptor gives him a blank look, and interrupts him with, "And he will make an excuse for you to stay until the room is empty or for you to walk with him. We will be here."

Wheeljack pulls him on, making him continue walking, "Besides, your side can't be doing all the chaperoning. That's just not fair to us."

Optimus makes an agreeing sound as they approach Ultra. "I would like it if we had you as chaperons for an upcoming date. I'm sure Ultra can schedule something that will work for all of us." He smiles, "Red Alert is welcome as well, of course."

Before they can reply, Ultra carefully pushes Firefly into Optimus's servos. "I see that this little sparkling decorated you for today's meeting."

Adjusting Firefly he nods as the sparkling shakes his head violently and shouts, "No!"

Sighing softly, Optimus looks down at the tiny mech, "What don't you want this time?"

"No hold!" Firefly whines, and pushes at Optimus's arms. "Ultra! Gun! Gun!"

He gives Firefly back to Ultra, "Looks like he prefers you." It's not surprising. Ultra is more heavily armed _and_ is of a size closer to a Seeker than Optimus.

Ultra allows the sparkling to climb up and play with his gun turrets again. "I suppose it won't do him any harm. Bumblebee or Sunstorm should be along soon to pick him up?"

Optimus shrugs, "I have no idea." He frowns, and starts to walk with Ultra, Wheeljack, and Perceptor to the exit of the council chamber, "Did Blurr call in sick today?"

Ultra glances down at him, "He did. Any reason why you're asking?"

He shudders, "Then it is very likely I'll be looking after Firefly for the rest of the day."

Ultra gives him a confused look, Wheeljack and Perceptor may have done the same -not that he can tell-, before the larger mech's optics widen in understanding. "Do you think this means that Sunstorm will be getting two votes?"

Optimus rubs his temples, "If I know anything about seekers, and I'm pretty good at reading them by now, I'd say that is incredibly likely."

Ultra reaches over and catches one of Optimus's servos, giving it a squeeze, "I believe he won't be any trouble, Optimus. He voted positively last time, and with each meeting, we need fewer approvals."

Audio lights flashing, Wheeljack interjects, "So, Optimus was saying he'd like us to chaperon you on a date, Ultra Magnus. You okay with that?"

"Of course," and Ultra smiles at Optimus. "Provided you try not to cause any explosions, Wheeljack."

Firefly peers down at them, "Boom?"

Optimus winces, and he thinks Perceptor is doing the same, as the mech's shoulders are shaking slightly anyway. "Hopefully not."

The sparkling gives them a sad look, and goes back to curling up in Ultra's turrets. Wheeljack coughs softly, "I make no promises, but I certainly do not plan on it."

Reaching his office corridor, Optimus vents a sigh and holds out his arms, "I have more reports to read. I'll take Firefly back now." Firefly whines and hides behind one of Ultra's turrets. "Don't be like that, Firefly."

Ultra reaches up and plucks the sparkling off his shoulder, "I'm willing to have him stay in my office."

Firefly nods frantically, clinging to Ultra's fingers, "Guns!"

Optimus looks at the sparkling to Ultra, and can't think of any reason why the Magnus _can't_ do it. It isn't like Sunstorm or Bumblebee would be upset, and will give him free time to get cleaned up. He vents a tiny sigh, "If you're sure?"

Ultra nods slowly and happily as Firefly yells out, "Yes! Guns!"

Optimus takes a step back, "Just..."

Ultra tugs him close, and kisses him softly, "I'll be careful, Optimus. You don't have to worry."

He steals a second kiss from Ultra, before stepping back. "We both have work to do. I'll remember to invite Cliffjumper along if I need to speak to you before our shifts end." He turns to Wheeljack and Perceptor, "Thank you for agreeing to chaperon us. I hope it is entertaining for us all."

Wheeljack's audio lights flash amusement as the mech nods, "I don't imagine there will be a dull moment, Optimus."

He smiles, and bids the bots goodbye before walking into his office. Propping himself on his desk, he lets his fans turn on from reacting to the kiss. The sound of them makes his processor flash to the sound of Ultra's in the video he was sent, and he sinks to the floor, grateful that he's _alone_ while he deals with his over enthusiastic imagination.

He checks that the vid file is still securely tucked away where no casual scan will ever find it, and focuses on trying to get his systems to stop heating up with want. There are reports that need to be examined, and he can't just ignore them because his spark wants an overload. Optimus lets his fans cool his frame, picking up a datapad filled with the least interesting materials he can find to keep his processor away from Ultra.

It is several megacycles later that there's a knock on the door. Looking up from his almost finished pile of datapads, he blinks. "Come in."

Cliffjumper steps in, holding Firefly, "You need to eat something, sir."

Firefly pouts, "Candy."

"No candy, Firefly," Optimus responds absently. "And I'm not hungry, Cliffjumper."

"Well," Firefly is put on his desk, beside a carefully organized stack of datapads, which the sparkling promptly knocks over, giggling at the crash it makes, "_Firefly_ is hungry, sir. We don't keep sparkling grade energon around, and I like keeping my emergency ration of it for my own sparklings."

Optimus stares with dismay at the ruined datapad pile. He's going to have to re-sort them all. "He drinks normal energon already." He pulls out the partial cube meant for Firefly and sets it carefully in front of him.

Firefly giggles and sips on the energon, while Cliffjumper gives Optimus a disbelieving look. "Already? That's not ve-"

Optimus shakes his head, stopping the minibot. He picks up the datapad stack, "I know. But he's Bumblebee and Sunstorm's sparkling, and I do not control how they raise him. From what I can tell, they also fill him with candy whenever Firefly demands it."

The sparkling puts down the now empty cube, "Candy?"

Optimus blinks in surprise, reaching over and moving the little jet's wings so he can see them easier, "No candy. Cliffjumper... when did he get the elite guard wings on his Autobot symbols?"

The minibot snorts, "When do you think? Ultra Magnus has always been a pushover when it comes to sparklings. Dunno if he'll be the same way with his own, but I bet Firefly just asked him with big, wide optics." Firefly flutters his wings. "I suppose it's easier with ours," Cliffjumper muses, "we raise them all together, so they don't end up too horribly spoiled."

He starts to organize the datapads again, "I can see how that would work, but not a very effective tactic with seekers with easily convinced Autobots. I'm absolutely certain that Scatterstar," he pauses.

"Scatter!" comes Firefly's happy cry.

He continues, "Has been coaching the sparklings on how to get things from the seekers and various autobots."

"Like Ultra Magnus," Cliffjumper laughs, and reaches forward to rub at the paint on Firefly's wings. "Looks like he used his own insignia paint on them. Those aren't gonna come off for quite a while. Guess you've gotten yourself a little set of wings on your wings, kid."

Firefly gets a look he must have picked up from his father. Seeker smugness.

Optimus sighs, "He's been wanting them for the longest time, too. He'd finally stopped bugging me for them when he saw me. When those wings come off, he's most likely going to be back at it."

He hands Cliffjumper the finished datapads, and watches as the minibot puts them in sub-space, "Well, we may have a future elite guard on our servos." Cliffjumper rubs Firefly's horns, "Not a bad thing, right?"

The sparkling just beams at him.

Optimus looks at Firefly, "Are you going to stay with me the rest of this shift, or do you want to go back to Ultra?"

Firefly's peds hit the ground with the distinctive sound of Seeker heels, and he picks a datapad up off the floor, "You."

Reaching over, Optimus plucks the datapad from the sparkling's servos, replacing it with one that _isn't_ filled with sensitive information, "If that's what you want."

Firefly looks at him, optics wide as the little bot nibbles on the pad, "... yes."

He smiles, "Thank you for bringing him over, Cliffjumper. You can go back to work or go on your break or whatever it was you were planning on doing before this happened."

"Thank you, sir," Cliffjumper exits the room, leaving Optimus to look after Firefly once more.

"Do you know how to draw on the datapads, Firefly?" he asks, unsure if Sari explained it to him or not.

The sparkling gives him an insulted look and punches a few buttons, calling up the art program. "Dumb." He goes back to gnawing on it.

Optimus shakes his head, "If that's what you want to do, then."

The sparkling doesn't respond, and he's not the least bit surprised about that. About a megacycle later, he's finished with all the datapads, while Firefly is soundly recharging on his desk.

Standing up, he pets the tiny mech on his side before pulling out a mirror; it is time to clean off all the stickers, and figure out how to remove the toy wings without somehow ripping off his headfins.

He starts on the stickers; they all peel off without too much fuss, though he ends up having to wipe a lot of residue off afterward. The paint decals take more work, but they don't stand up to a low grade solvent. Optimus stops and studies the wings in the mirror. Those were going to be a problem.

He begins to peel and scrape the stickers securing them on away, and winces. Fragging sensitive headfins.

Several breems later, he's gotten the wings off, but still has several stickers stuck to his fins. He is seriously considering just leaving them there because it hurts to think about them, much less touch. Firefly woke up part way through this painful procedure, and Optimus is sitting in his chair with the sparkling on his lap. "Sorry," comes the soft whisper when he drops the wings on the desk.

Optimus pets the little mech on the back, "You know not to do it again, now. That's about all I really expect."

There's a knock on his door, right before Bumblebee comes in. He's immediately tackled by Firefly, and he's knocked to the floor, "Woah." Bee looks at the sparkling, hugging him back, "Guess you missed me, huh? I missed you too, Firefly." He kisses the top of his helmet before looking at Optimus from the floor, "Did you have any problems with him, bossbot?"

Looking down at Bee, Optimus points to his headfins, "I'm not sure if you watched the news this morning, but your little jet covered me in stickers. Perfectly aligned and symmetrical stickers, but stickers none the less. He also stuck these," Optimus lobs the toy wings at the minibot, "on my headfins. With said stickers. I only just got them off."

Bee bursts into laughter, holding up a servo to give his sparkling a tiny high-five. "Way to go, kiddo, that's epic quality pranking there!" Optimus gives them both a stern look, and Bee forces his laughter down to a less hysterical level. "Oh, bossbot, I'm, uh, sorry?"

Optimus shakes his head and sighs, "You're not at all." He crosses his arms over his chest, "You've been feeding your sparkling energon sweets? Those aren't good for sparklings, Bumblebee. I can't imagine how you _ever_ get him to recharge."

Bee looks away, "He sleeps when he's tired?"

Optimus rubs his optics, "Is Blurr going to be staying with you, or was this just a one time thing?"

Bee sits up, Firefly curled in the minibot's lap, and rubs the back of his head, still looking anywhere but Optimus, "Sunstorm and I are really hoping Blurr will stay, but he..." Bee looks down at Firefly, petting the sparkling on the back, and lowering his voice unhappily, "He may decide we're a huge mistake and take off."

"Will Sunstorm allow him to leave?" Optimus asks, skeptical of the Seeker's ability to simply allow a bot he wants to run away.

"Sure," Bumblebee says, before wincing, "Uh, actually, if Blurr decides to leave, you might want to assign him offplanet for a while. Sunstorm's kinda ... persistent."

Optimus arches an optic ridge. Persistent was one way to put it, yes. "I wouldn't worry too much, Bumblebee. Blurr seems to like you quite a bit."

Bee pulls Firefly into a hug, "But I don't know if he likes _Sunstorm_, we kind of come as a set, you know."

Optimus walks over, and helps his team mate up, "I'm sure it will turn out just fine, Bumblebee. He wouldn't have done that if he _didn't_ like Sunstorm. He isn't that kind of bot."

"Wings!" Firefly interrupts them, turning in Bee's arms to better display both sides of his wings.

"Yeah, yeah, they're very nice wings, Firefl-" he cuts himself off, "Bossbot? Why does he have Elite Guard wings on his insignias?"

Optimus casts a glance up and sighs, before answering, "You have Ultra Magnus to blame for that."

Bee looks at them, "... really?" Optimus nods quietly, and Bumblebee breaks out into a broad grin, rubbing foreheads with his sparkling, "That's great! Now you'll stop bugging everyone for _real_ wings on your symbols. Hopefully these won't wash off too easily."

Optimus rubs a thumb over the wings, "They're going to be there awhile. Cliffjumper said Ultra used his own paint. Kind of unlikely to go away any time soon."

"Awesome," Bee kisses Firefly's forehead, which makes the little bot squirm. "Did he, you know, actually recharge for you?"

"Of course he did," Optimus sighs, "though not a full recharge cycle, I am relatively certain he came close to one."

Bee's optics widen, "Really? How'd you manage that?"

"By not feeding him candy every time he asked."

While Firefly is making his normally demand for candy in response to it being mentioned, Bee gives him a disbelieving look, "... _how_?"

Optimus rolls his optics, "No candy, Firefly."

Firefly gives him and Bumblebee the most sparkbroken look Optimus has ever seen, even better than the one last night, "Candy?"

Bee automatically starts to reach into his sub-space, only for Otimus to grab the minibot's wrist. "Because of the way he reacts to a certain name." Bee gives him a dirty look, and he continues, "Scatterstar."

"Scatter!" the bot smiles brightly, clutching at Bee, sparkbroken look gone as if it had never been there.

Bumblebee stares at Firefly for a long moment, "Aw slag. How long's he been able to do that?"

"My guess?" he asks, continuing when Bee nods, "the very first time Scatterstar ever sparklingsat for you."

Bee makes an irritated grinding noise, and Optimus pats him on the back. "Just don't keep feeding him candy. It is bad enough you feed him normal energon, you know they need the sparkling blend so they learn to drink an entire cube instead of just a little bit."

"He _hates_ sparkling energon, though. He drank from my cube instead of touching the blend when we got to cybertron. Isn't that when you're supposed to switch? When the sparkling demands it?"

"I suspect the same rules may not apply to Seeker sparklings," Optimus watches Firefly continue to demand candy. "I'd suggest you split some of the candy you've been giving into small pieces, and wean him off it with those."

Firefly gives Optimus a dark glare, aware that he is trying to take candy away from him.

Bee nods, murmuring weakly, "I'll have Sunstorm do that, too." The minibot ignores Firefly's look of utter horror, "Thanks for telling me this. Looks like I'll have to tell Scatterstar," Bee pauses, but it seems that the lack of candy has really sunk in and Firefly can't even cry out his favorite uncle's name, "to stop feeding him so much candy."

"I'm sure Blurr will help."

Bee shrugs, "I hope so. But we'll manage if he doesn't." He perks up a bit, "Speaking of Blurr, he's still recharging on our ber-" he glances at Optimus's expression, "still recharging. Want to go wake him up with me, Firefly? I bet he'll chase you if you ask."

Firefly stops pouting long enough to nod eagerly, "Blurr!"

Bumblebee grins, "Well, looks like I've been given my orders, bossbot. I'll talk to you later?"

Optimus waves him away, "Go. Have fun, and make sure you don't give him more than a third of a cube of real energon at once. That's all he should need until he hits a growth spurt."

Bee steps out, Firefly waving as they go, "I'll remember, thanks for watching him, Optimus."

When the door closes, Optimus pokes his headfins. They don't hurt nearly as much as they did, so he gets to work on cleaning them off.

* * *

He polishes himself for nearly a megacycle prior to this date. Optimus wants to impress Ultra Magnus's family, and a glossy coat of polish will help. Theoretically. Red Alert often has energon and oil caked into her joints after long shifts of medical work, and he _knows_ that Wheeljack routinely blows himself and Perceptor up.

Regardless, he's going to make himself look as nice as possible without the help of an AllSpark shine. His spark sinks. He's been alone again for close to a decacycle, since Sari moved into her new ninjabot home. His apartment echoes with silence.

He's tried to get Bulkhead to move in, but he only gets told that he's lucky that the larger mech can make it to family meetings, and that's only because those are going to be scheduled way in advance. Optimus sighs, finishing up the polishing, and heading down the elevator. Nodding at the securitybot, he heads out of the building, and drives to the restaurant.

It's a very nice location for a date; upscale, but not enough so that Optimus is going to feel terribly out of place. He wonders if Ultra knew that, or if it had just been a lucky guess. He's thankful for it, no matter which.

Ultra is waiting outside, along with the trio of sciencebots. "Optimus," he hums, pulling the bot close for a hug. "It's good to see you."

Pulling Ultra into a quick and tiny kiss, he ducks down, and rests his head on Ultra's chest, just missing the sparkplates. "I missed you, too," he whispers softly.

The larger mech chuckles, and Optimus can feel it through his frame, safe and comforting, "It is your day off, surely we weren't apart for that long?" Ultra kisses the top of his helmet, "I missed you as well, my lovely Optimus."

He doesn't want to let go, just stay and soak up the feeling of his intended, but he knows that if Sari or Lockdown were here they'd knock more privileges back; they may do that anyway, since the AllSpark seems to know no matter what. He lets go reluctantly, taking Ultra's servo in his before turning to the trio of chaperons with a soft smile. "Are you ready to head in?"

"I'm ready," Red Alert announces, and drags Wheeljack and Perceptor in by their servos. Optimus bites back a smile and follows, servo squeezing Ultra's.

Ultra leans in close, murmuring, "I suppose it would be too soon for me to offer to feed you the energon?"

Optimus flushes, "Yes, I do believe so."

Ultra murmurs, "Pity," then nips on Optimus's headfin quickly before pulling away.

Optimus blushes bright red and drops his head, not wanting to draw too much attention to what just happened. He whispers softly, "Sari is going to yell at us if you go too far, you know."

"And Lockdown said we're allowed to do this now, just that we have to be quiet about it."

"Lockdown also told you to send that," he flushes and lowers his voice, "that video too soon." A few of his fans click on against his will.

Red Alert glances back at the noise, while Perceptor is telling the staff what their party is reserved under. Ultra waves a servo and smiles at her, and she turns back to the other sciencebots. He keeps his voice just as low as Optimus's, and says, "If we were not so thoroughly observed at the moment, I would steal another kiss from you."

A happy shudder goes up his backstrut, but he doesn't look up, "You _are_ allowed to."

"Not the way I want to, and if I do it the way I want to, your engines will rev so loudly. Just like they did when we were in your room on earth."

Optimus's spark throbs with want and remembrance. He _misses_ being able to sit in Ultra's lap and get kissed as he's held lovingly. "You aren't allowed to do that, no." He drops Ultra's servo so he isn't tempted to get closer. Instead, he walks after the sciencebots as they're all lead to their table.

It's a nice set-up, with seats of differing height to accommodate all the bot sizes in their party; although Ultra Magnus is always the odd one out, when it comes to height. Optimus sits beside Ultra, so they can hold servos—on top of the table. He gets the feeling that even the much more relaxed sciencebots will object to their servos linked and out of sight.

He leans his head on Ultra's shoulder, smiling at the trio. "How was your day?"

Perceptor's voice is as emotionless as ever when he holds up a singed servo, "Much better than normal. Red Alert and I did not blow off any body parts."

Red Alert nods, "And Wheeljack only lost one audio light, rather than blowing them both in addition to losing an arm."

"That's," he fumbled for a word that would adequately describe their situation, "good?"

"Exceptionally so," Perceptor intones, before studying the menu.

Following suit, Red Alert leans over to read from Perceptor's menu, rather than her own. "Ooh, they have triple-refined with a rust additive. I want that."

Perceptor gently pushes her away, "They provided you with an identical menu to mine."

Wheeljack looks at Perceptor's menu while the bot is distracted, "I think I want the crystal and iron shavings."

Perceptor gives Wheeljack as dirty a look as Optimus has ever seen the sciencebot have, "You have one as well."

Red Alert steals his menu out of his servos, "Do we really?"

Optimus laughs, and then ducks his head down when all three sciencebots focus their attention on him. "What will you be having, Optimus?" Red Alert asks in a sugary sweet voice.

He hasn't even looked at the menu yet. "I'm not picky," he murmurs, lifting the menu to study it. "Do you have any suggestions, Ultra?"

Ultra shakes his head fondly, "If it were up to you, Optimus, we'd all be drinking ordinary energon tonight."

He hides his face behind the menu, "Bad enough the AllSpark modified all my dispensers so I can't get them to give me the normal kind."

Wheeljack gives him a confused look, "It did?"

Optimus nods sadly, "Sari walked by them, and the AllSpark changed it so even _she_ can't modify them at all." He sighs, "She said the AllSpark didn't like that I looked like I was trying to reject Ultra's precourting gifts."

Ultra rubs his servo, "You deserve to have nice things sometimes, Optimus."

He ducks his head and studies the menu harder, as if that will keep the flush away from his cheeks. "I don't _need_ expensive energon. I grew quite accustomed to the energon on Teletraan, and then on the earth."

Red Alert makes a face, "Yuck. I helped modify that slagging dispenser when I got there. You bots were drinking slagging _awful_ stuff."

Optimus scrolls through the menu, "I didn't mind. We used what we could."

Ultra kisses him gently on the temple, "If I had known, I would have given you a better one."

Optimus shrugs, a faint blush across his faceplate, "I couldn't have imposed."

"It would have been no imposition at all," Ultra insists, before tapping on two different listings. "I think you would enjoy either of these."

He looks at them: a simple quality of energon mixed with several minerals, or a more refined energon blended with an equally refined oil. They both look good. Perhaps they could each order one, and share? He flushes with heat — no. That would be a bad idea.

"I'll get the..." He bites his lower lip, "The refined energon and oil."

Ultra squeezes his servo, lifting it up to brush a gentle kiss along the back of his knuckles, "Want me to get the other one?"

Optimus shakes his head, "No. Get what you want to drink. You don't have to limit what _you_ want, just because I prefer it to be simpler."

"I _like_ sharing with you, Optimus," the mech reminds him. "Even if I can't have you on my lap this time."

"Maybe some time in the future," he offers, putting the menu down before he crushes it. "Please, order what you want."

Ultra leans in close, kissing him softly, "I want-"

Red Alert clears her throat, "Ultra Magnus, you are pushing your boundaries for this date. Just order what you want already. The longer we sit here, the more likely it is Wheeljack will make something explode."

Optimus flushes, and waits for one of the staff to come and take their order. Ultra continues to rub his servo gently, and he has to fight to keep his fans off even as his frame slowly starts to heat.

Eventually, a waiterbot comes up, smiling pleasantly at them. "Have you made your decisions, or do you need more time?"

"We're ready," Ultra squeezes Optimus's servo. They place their orders, and Optimus thinks someone else must have placed his, because he was so thoroughly distracted by looking into Ultra's optics.

Ultra runs a servo along Optimus's face, and he sighs into the touch. It is all he can do not to just lean on the larger mech and let the bot hold him. It is lucky the energon shows up quickly, even if he doesn't notice it until Ultra puts the cube in his servo.

Blinking down at it, he blushes deeply, and abruptly lets go of the mech's servo to sip at the energon. He smiles happily, it is _much_ simpler than what he gets out of his dispensers. "Maybe I should go out for energon more often," he murmurs.

"It meets with your approval?" Ultra asks, taking a sip of his own energon.

He answers with a nod, wondering how many of the other bots in the room are recording as much of this as they can. At least they're far enough away to avoid audio recorders. "Better than I expected."

"This is the kind of stuff we should have had on Earth, Optimus," Red Alert slaps a servo on the table to drive her point home.

Holding the cube with both servos, he sips on it, "It is still more than what I'd prefer to drink, Red Alert." He offlines his optics, savoring the simplicity, "But so much less complicated than what the AllSpark insists I drink now."

He blinks his optics online when he feels a tug at the cube, and Ultra switches cubes with him. Giving his mech a confused look, he watches as Ultra takes a sip of it. "This is simple, Optimus? It is better than what I get from _my_ dispenser."

"Your dispenser is not AllSpark-modified," he murmurs, and tries the energon Ultra had. It's nice. "You could come by some time and look at it yourself." Red Alert coughs, and Optimus flushes, "With chaperons. Of course, with some of our family there."

"Tomorrow, maybe?" Ultra switches their cubes back, servo lingering over the touch. "Make a day of it?"

Optimus looks away, a faint blush still dusting his faceplates, "That depends entirely on whether Sari okays it. If she does, then we will see."

"Then I shall hope she approves of it." He keeps his touches relatively platonic the rest of the date, giving Optimus the precious time he needs to cool his engine — and his spark — down to reasonable levels once more. They are nearly done with their energon when a sudden explosion throws Optimus from his seat. Blinking dazedly, he pushes himself up.

Singed armor and a few dents from flying debris, but he's otherwise alright. He looks at the other bots as he stands, and there appears to be no serious damage—he stops and picks up a severed arm. Wheeljack's severed arm.

Wheeljack's audio lights blink frantically as the bot reboots, and he onlines with a yelp, jerking himself up with his one functional arm. "Frag, what happened?"

"_You_ happened," Perceptor vents a careful huff of air, checking himself for missing parts.

Red Alert walks over and takes the arm from Optimus, "One of you two pay, I'll do a field patch to deal with until we get to a medical bay." She walks back to Wheeljack muttering about idiot team mates, and Optimus is about to pay when it becomes very obvious Ultra is doing that.

He sighs, feeling more than a little useless, when Perceptor walks over to him. The scientist bot puts a servo on his arm, a very faint smile on his face, making Optimus smile back, it is nice to know that Perceptor can have visible emotions. The red mech murmurs, "We're going to have to leave when Red Alert finishes," the bot's optics dart subtly to one of the waiterbots, "And it is very likely we will not be welcome back." Optimus is about to appologize when the other bot shakes his head, "This is fairly normal for us, Optimus. Any time you deal with Wheeljack, you deal with possibly exploding. We've been thrown out of far more places than you'd ever think."

Optimus vents a sigh, "What did he do to create that explosion?" There'd been energon, yes, but it was nigh on impossible to make a single cube of edible-grade energon explode like that.

"It's Wheeljack," Perceptor says, as if that explains everything. And perhaps it does.

He rubs his head again, looking down at his scorched armor. "At least no one else was injured."

Perceptor nods once, and they are joined by Ultra. Optimus allows himself to be drawn into his intended's arms, and kissed softly. Ultra looks over to the other two sciencebots who are just finishing up, "Looks like they're ready. I paid for the damage, and told them how sorry we are. However, as usual, that didn't really matter, and we are still banned until they decide we're allowed back."

Red Alert heads over, dragging Wheeljack after her, and they all walk out. When they are outside, Optimus, reaches up, and tugs Ultra into a goodbye kiss, pulling away in the time he knows Lockdown would give them, rather than the quick peck Sari would allow. Ultra looks disappointed that he couldn't sneak a glossa in, but the sad look disappears when Optimus murmurs, "I'll see you tomorrow." Optimus bids the trio of sciencebots a less loving, but no less caring, farewell, and transforms to head home.

* * *

Optimus adjusts the camera carefully, checking three times to make sure it is recording. He is _not_ going to do this a second time. His faceplates would end up _melting_ if he tried.

He sits on the edge of his berth, and smiles hesitantly at the camera, lifting a servo to wave. "I know it's been a while, Ultra," he begins, and rubs the back of his helmet sheepishly. "But I only managed to convince myself to do this now. When you've gone off-planet for the solar cycle, and I have every door in my apartment locked."

He lifts up his servo, and slowly starts to rub his windshield, "I don't really feel ... comfortable with sending this with my spark showing, though." He glances away, faceplate heating up, "But I think of you." He turns back, "Not just when I-I ... you know," he tilts his head quickly to the side then back upright, "not just then. But all the time. Like, right now, I'm thinking about how you, uh." He looks down, peds kicking the floor, "How you kept saying I most likely turned off the video. I only did it the first time you said it, but only _almost_ the second time."

His fingers start to rub at the seams, "But you had told me to watch all the way through, and I'm glad I did." He looks straight at the camera, a small smile on his face, "Though I also think of you at other times."

He lifts up a leg, resting the ped on the edge of the bed, "I have a hard time going by that energon shop we went to before we started courting without thinking of you feeding me energon. I... I'd like you to do that again." He bites his lower lip, "Not at the shop again, but when we can finally be alone together." The rubbing speeds up, "I could sit on your lap as you put the cube up to my mouth. And maybe I could feed you a cube, too? I'd like that."

Optimus stares shyly at the camera, dragging his fingers down the center of his sparkplates, "I know we're not supposed to talk much during this, but since I'm not trying to overload, it should be alright?" He dims his optics, and slides his servos away from his chest, because his engine is starting to rev now, spark pulsing hot beneath his plates. Opening them would be admitting defeat.

"I think about later in our courtship," he admits, ducking his head down, servos playing with the wheels on the sides of his ped. "When we," he hopes his flush isn't picked up from this angle, "are allowed to share a berth." Optimus looks up, so very aware of the camera on him. "Am I going to online some mornings to your glossa, playing with my headfins?" He leaves his treads to rub a headfin slowly, optics offlining at the sensation. "I hope so."

Gentling his touch, he lets out a soft and happy sigh, "I could lick yours, too." His engine revs at the thought, startling him into letting go of his headfin. Blushing brightly, he unconsciously starts to rub his plates again. "I think you'd like that as much as I like you playing with mine. I wonder what it would feel like if we rubbed them together?" Going back to playing with his wheels, he murmurs, "Maybe we could find out when we're allowed to be alone together?" His frame shudders happily. "We can find out then."

He looks straight at the camera, "I love you too, Ultra. Maybe not as long as you have, since I've been told that you'd be willing to bond _right now_ if I asked, but I do love you. The fact that you're willing to wait makes me love you even more, and wish that the courting didn't have a set time." His spark aches with want, and his goes back to rubbing his plates, "I just to be held by you as you tell me how much you love me, and I tell you how much I love you."

Optimus knows his locks are going to disengage if his spark gets any hotter, so he drops his servos away from himself. "I love you, Ultra," he whispers to the camera. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to overload for you." Flushing, he approaches the camera, and adds, when he's behind it, and can't be seen on screen any longer, "When we bond, I'm sure you'll remedy that."

* * *

Optimus is in Ultra's home.

Well, he's been there before... once. But that had more to do with Ultra wanting to show him something the Magnus thought he would like than anything like this. He can't even look at Ultra in the optics, flashing back to the video he can't believe he actually sent. And Ultra clearly wants to do nothing more than to lead him up to a room where they can be alone. He's very grateful this is a family meeting; if it weren't he is absolutely certain that he'd be on his back on a berth clu- he cuts off that thought before his fans turn on. He's glad that Sari keeps glaring at Ultra like it is the Magnus' fault that the AllSpark refuses to tell her why he is acting like this; it keeps her from asking _him_.

Optimus talks to Cliffjumper, who has not managed to keep Shockwave away. This time, he's not even draped with sparklings — instead, he has a single sparkling perched atop his head, and he spends his time skulking around the room. Blurr has spent the entire evening thus far hiding behind Sunstorm.

Optimus is _not_ hiding from Ultra. It is pure and utter coincidence that Optimus happens to remain on the opposite side of the room from him at nearly all times.

He looks down at Cliffjumper, who is sighing in irritation and glaring at Shockwave, "He needs to stop harassing Blurr."

"Does he realize that Blurr is with -"

The minibot glares at him, waving a servo discretely at Bee kissing Blurr lovingly, "It is remarkably obvious, isn't it?"

Optimus makes a face and looks away. It wasn't surprising, really, that Bee's loving kisses tended to quickly morph into intense make-out sessions with more glossa than Optimus ever wanted to see from his family. "Will Shockwave need to be ... escorted out?"

"He'll be on good behavior," Cliffjumper narrows his optics, tracking Shockwave as he walks around. "I told Contraclaw to yank on his antlers if Shockwave does something stupid."

He glances at the claw marks decorating the antlers, "He seems to have it well in servo."

Cliffjumper smiles, and it is not a _nice_ smile, "He was also told to yank if he got too close to Bumblebee or Blurr. That's part of Shockwave doing something stupid."

"I see," Optimus coughs. He couldn't imagine attempting to control Shockwave's behavior the way his collection of minibots apparently does.

Sipping from a cube of energon — in proper minibot size, no less — Cliffjumper eyes Optimus carefully. "Had any serious fights with Ultra Magnus yet?" He lifts a servo to cut Optimus's reply off. "And I don't mean at work."

"We haven't. At all. Not at work or otherwise." He glances over at Sari and then at Lockdown, "We haven't been _alone_ enough to get into an argument."

Cliffjumper raises an optic ridge, "And that won't be happening any time soon."

Optimus sighs, rubbing the back of his helmet, "Not if Sari has anything to do with it."

"Just remember to take the time to cool down when you eventually do get in a fight," Cliffjumper rubs his horns unconsciously. "You're both pretty strong mechs. And you live in pretty expensive places. Can't be cheap to have to fix anything you break."

Optimus flushes, "I moved most of the things in my apartment into the basement storage."

Cliffjumper is about to say something when there's the sound of cursing from Shockwave, and the minibot stalks off to deal with the fact that the ex-Decepticon is misbehaving. He walks over to Sunstorm, Blurr, and Bumblebee, "And how are you all this solar cycle?"

Bee puts a servo over Sunstorm's mouth, "Estatic, boss-bot. If you're willing, we'd like to make an announcement about something before we leave."

Optimus frowns, "You're leaving already?"

Blurr shakes his head quickly, "No,-we-are-just-willing-to-wait-until-everything-has-settled-down-to-say-it."

Optimus smiles brightly, highly amused, "And I'm betting you're the reason why _Bumblebee_ is willing to wait."

Bee looks like he wants to protest, but Blurr talks over him, "Only-partially.-Sunstorm-thinks-it-is-better-to-wait,-too."

"If this is about the three of you being together, it is already _very_ obvious to everyone."

All three of the bots glance at each other, Sunstorm looks immensely smug as Blurr continues, "That-is-only-part-of-the-announcement,-sir."

Shaking his head, Optimus isn't sure he _wants_ to know their secret. "Announce it whenever you're ready." He notices Ultra approaching out of the corner of one optic and smiles, "I need to say hello to Perceptor and the others." Optimus slips away before Ultra reaches them; even though stealth had never been his forte at the Academy, Optimus knew the basic tricks.

Making it to the Sciencebots, he slips in with them easily, "And how are you all?"

Red Alert raises an optic ridge, "I think we should ask _you_ why you are avoiding Ultra. You do seem suspiciously frantic about avoiding him."

Optimus ducks his head, fingers twitching nervously, "I've done nothing. Nothing that broke the rules, in any case."

"You did _something_," Red Alert asserts, bumping his shoulder with her fist in a playful punch. "And it had Ultra beaming like crazy all morning. You really gotta tell us what it was. And if you can do it more often. He's usually bitter and cranky after off-planet meetings with diplomats."

Optimus blushes brightly and shaking his head, "I won't be doing it again."

She pouts at him, "But he was so _happy_, Optimus."

Perceptor interrupts her before she can continue, "I imagine it was something that was just on the limits of the rules if Optimus is acting like that, and _how_ happy Ultra is. Do you think the AllSpark will let you do it again?"

Sari wraps her arms around Perceptor's neck, the loud thump betraying how she managed to do it. Peering over the bot's shoulder, she nods, "Oh, it would, since it keeps _insisting_ he is absolutely adorable. But you need to tell us, Optimus, since it _refuses_ to say."

"If the AllSpark won't tell you, I don't believe _I_ should either," Optimus mutters, keeping his head down. If he gets a good look and Sari gives him big, wide, pleading eyes, he's not sure he'll be able to prevent himself from blurting it out. It wasn't fair at all, for her to use dirty tricks like that on her own teammates.

Sari makes an irritated sound, "The _one_ time I want it to tell me, it doesn't say anything."

"_I_ don't want to tell you, either, Sari."

She sighs, and he can hear her as she slides down Perceptor's shoulder and into the bot's lap, "I bet it was a video. But not as bad as Ultra's. You were blushing this badly when that happened, but the AllSpark didn't think _that_ was adorable. It only seems to think _you_ are."

Optimus wishes Sari wouldn't climb all over bots like that when they don't know her very well. It's a bit disrespectful. They weren't furniture, and some bots were intensely private about touch. "I am _not_ blushing." At the moment.

Sari grins. "No, but you were."

"You've been blushing every time you get a look at Ultra Magnus," Wheeljack corrects him, audio lights flashing merrily.

He stands up. "I'm going to go talk to... Lockdown now."

He nods at each of them, even Sari who is making herself comfortable on Perceptor's lap, and walks away. He can hear Sari's smug voice, "Yeah, that was totally a video he sent."

He ignores her and walks over to where Prowl and Jazz are posing artistically in front of a camera Lockdown is using for the meeting. He gives the bounty hunter an amused look as he walks over, the mech is making no attempt to disguise that he's taking far more pictures of Ultra's failed attempts to get at Optimus, than he is of Optimus himself.

"Are bots still buying your articles?" Optimus asks, because the articles have grown increasingly full of rambles about the beauty of ninjabots. One of them, while scattered with a few images of Ultra and Optimus on a date, had never used their names anywhere but in the picture captions. As far as Optimus could tell, from the poor writing and occasional bouts of either seizure-induced typing or ancient Cybertronian, it had been a long screed soliciting femme ninjabots.

Lockdown smirks, not setting the camera down, "You'd be surprised at how _well_ they sell."

Optimus offlines his optics so he doesn't see Jazz and Prowl kissing with far more glossa than is really needed. "Not really."

A body slams into his, arms wrapping around him tightly. Optimus onlines his optics and looks down at blue arms. "I'm-terribly-sorry-sir,-but-Ultra-Magnus-requested-that-I-keep-you-in-one-spot-long-enough-for-him-to-track-you-down.-I-apologize-for-the-imposition,-of-course,-but-he-_is_-the-Magnus,-after-all."

Optimus shakes his head, "It's alright, Blurr. I wasn't hiding from him."

"_He_-certainly-doesn't-think-so,sir."

He gently removes the bot's arms, "You don't have to hold on to me, Blurr."

He's clutched even tighter, "The-Magnus-said-not-to-let-you-go,-Optimus-sir."

Lockdown is laughing at him, not even bothering to hide it, and taking a hundred or so pictures of it. Optimus puts on a resigned face. He's not getting out of this until Ultra comes over. He fights down his blush. It would _not_ look good to be in Blurr's arms, blushing like mad.

It is a less than a klik later that another set of arms wraps around him, these larger and significantly more welcome than Blurr's. The carbot takes off the moment Ultra has a firm hold on him, and he leans into his intended's touch. "You know, maybe I wanted to talk to family before I got pulled into your lap."

Ultra chuckles, leaning down to murmur into his audio, "You and I both know that's not why," and kissing him softly.

They continue to kiss, one of Ultra's servos drifting up to gently pet a headfin, before Sari coughs pointedly. Optimus breaks the kiss. "Sari."

Sari has her arms crossed over her chest, and she glares at Lockdown, "Worst. Chaperon. _Ever_. I can't believe you just stood there and took pictures of that."

Optimus's optics widen. He'd photographed _that_?

Lockdown grins unrepentently, "Of course I did, this _is_ the time we're supposed to allow it."

She pulls Optimus away from Ultra. "They are supposed to be _sneaky_ about it! You being _able_ to take _pictures_ means they are very obvious, and I think I should take away kissing privileges for it!"

Optimus frowns at her, "Sari, that isn't fair."

Ultra doesn't try to grab Optimus back. "I apologize for making such an obvious attempt, but Optimus was insisting on avoiding me." He smiles fondly at Optimus.

Optimus looks away, blushing violently, so he only hears Sari's angry hiss, "Don't you _dare_ blame Optimus for this, Ultra. He may have sent a video, but that doesn't give you _any_ right to do what you just did."

Optimus looks over, horrified, "Sari!"

She glares at him as well, "And you keep running off! You are supposed to be sitting next to each other!" She pushes Ultra toward a couch, pulling Optimus along with. "The both of you don't get to hold hands because of this, but you're _so lucky_ I'm going to let you kiss goodbye when the time comes."

Ultra sits first, and Optimus sits next to him, as close as he can without risking Sari yelling at him. It shouldn't take that long for her to get distracted enough that he can shift closer, and press himself against Ultra's side.

Sari fixes her eyes on them both. "Try to behave."

Ultra nods regally, "Of course, Sari." Sari glares at him, and sits across from them both. He continues, "I was planning on telling you in private, but," the blue bot reaches into his sub-space, pulling out a datapad, "I think you'll like this. I _am_ sorry I could only get Cyclonus."

She takes the pad from him, looking through it. "... What is Spittor's bad behavior that means he can't get out?"

Ultra sighs, "He keeps destroying the cell he's in. He claims that it isn't on purpose, but..." he trails off unhappily.

Sari holds the pad to her chest, "But some things not even the Magnus can change. And one of those things is getting the last bot from Team Chaar out of prison just because the... the..." her voice drops, soft and hurting, "techno-organic whore wants them out."

"Sari," Optimus leans forward, reaching out for her.

Ultra fixes his gaze on her, "If you can identify the bots that insulted you in such a manner, I can have them relocated off-planet. Cybertron is under Elite Guard control."

She waves her hand, "No. No, don't do that. You'd have to move half the fragging population."

"I am completely serious, Sari. This sort of ... prejudice is not allowed."

She gives him a dark look, "I'm in a ninjabot neighborhood now. They're all very polite and kind to me. The only propositioning they do is the kind that they do to _anyone_ they think is nice looking." She smiles softly, hugging the datapad, "I am happy there."

"I'm glad you like your new neighborhood, Sari," Optimus says, halting his servo midway to reaching for Ultra's. He puts his servos on his lap. "I," he coughs, "I admit that I still sometimes drive through your older neighborhood. And I might have, on _one_ occasion ... painted a certain bot's door bright yellow."

She cackles. "He certainly deserved it."

Ultra gives them a confused look, and Optimus shakes his head. "I'll explain later. Don't worry about it."

Ultra nods, and if just about to say something when Sunstorm stands up, clapping his servos to get everyone's attention. "I am so sorry to interrupt, but the wonderful Optimus has given us permission to make an announcement."

Ultra and Sari give him a disbelieving look, and he can only whisper, "Blurr asked, I wasn't going to say _no_."

Sunstorm pulls Blurr and Bee forward, cradling them both against his sides, "Seeing as you are all such brilliant Autobots, you will already know that we three are now in a committed relationship." Sunstorm pets the smaller bots possessively. Optimus wondered if Firefly would inherit that habit. Everyone in the room was watching now, curious. "But I believe," he continues, "that even the most intelligent among you will be pleasantly surprised to know that we are expecting again!"

Optimus blinks. Another sparkling?

Sari scoffs, "Let me guess. This one's Blurr's, right?"

Sunstorm positively _beams_ at her, "You are quite correct, canny Sari. You are always so-"

She waves him into silence, "Heard it all before, still sounds like you don't really mean it. Go back to talking about your sparkling, and try to ignore Shockwave who looks like he wants to murder you for having two bots he's wanted for a very long time."

Sunstorm pulls Blurr up into his arms, giving Shockwave a superior, smug look. "I think our sparkling will be one of the fastest bots alive."

The intel agent squirms in his hold, clearly not used to a Seeker's tendency to pick up the bots they care about. Optimus wonders if Ultra will pick _him_ up more often when they're allowed. He dismisses the idea. They're both too dignified for such actions.

Ultra gives them a small smile, "Is it far enough along to tell what model it will be?"

Sunstorm spreads his wings proudly, "He will be a _seeker_."

Blurr coughs softly, "Not-that-it-is-surprising,-since-Sunstorm-is-the-one-carrying-him."

"Congratulations," Lockdown hums, lifting his camera, "let me take some pictures. Can I get some pictures of it?"

Prowl arches an optic ridge, "You think Optimus will let you publish the next batch of articles if you include pictures of an open sparkchamber, even if the focus is on a sparkling?"

Lockdown waves his servo and scoffs, "It's a fragment of the AllSpark. It's not filthy. Much."

"I'm terribly sorry," Sunstorm says regretfully, "but I must decline."

Lockdown sighs, "Fine, then. I'll get other pictures." The bot straightens up, "Blurr, kiss Sunstorm for this one." Blurr gives the mech a dirty look, but is quickly distracted by the seeker's glossa shoved in his mouth.

Optimus turns away, and scoots over to curl up next to Ultra, since Sari is distracted with Lockdown. He whispers softly while being pulled closer, "We should have more ... parties like this. The both of our families together." He looks over to where Shockwave is standing, the mech being thoroughly chewed out by Cliffjumper, "Maybe we can convince Cliffjumper to keep Shockwave away, though."

Ultra laughs, and kisses his forehead, whispering back, "We'll see what I can do."

* * *

Sari is muttering irritably under her breath as she pulls Optimus along with her. He can just barely make out something about innocence and dirty old bots. From that, he can certainly tell how unhappy she is that he and Ultra are finally being allowed time to be alone together.

He doesn't know why she's so worried, really. Ultra is the Magnus, and he has a great deal of willpower, and Optimus is fairly certain he won't 'shove you down and peel open your plates like the pirate villain in a bodice-ripper.' Optimus doesn't entirely understand the reference, and he doesn't want to.

They approach the doors to Ultra's frankly horrifyingly enormous home — Optimus is constantly afraid of getting lost and not finding his way out for vorns, even _with_ a map. "It'll be alright, Sari," he reassures his companion.

Sari fixes a dark glare on him, "Just remember to keep your plates locked."

"He's not going to do anything that will break the courting."

She gives him a very dirty look, "Just remember, that if he tries..." he sighs and makes a 'go on' motion with his servo, "you have an axe. Use it."

"I'm not going to draw my weapon on Ultra," he shudders at the thought. Ultra is both his _intended_ and _the Magnus_. You didn't just casually threaten him with a weapon. "I will, however, ask him to stop if he does anything I am not comfortable with."

"And if he _doesn't_ stop, you will use your axe. And no matter you much you want to open your plates, you will _not_."

"I'm not going to open my plates, Sari! Why would you think I a-"

She pushes him, "Because he's a dirty old bot, and knows you like having your headfins played with."

Heat rushes to his faceplates. "This is a courtship. It's good for us to know those things about one another."

She gives him a highly skeptical look, and draws her answer out long, "Right."

Before he can answer, she tugs him into the room that was prepared for this. It is very ... stark, which is the best word he can use. There are two chairs for the only furniture, and everything is very white. He looks around, then down at Sari. "... couldn't we have more comfortable chairs, at least?"

She glares up at him, "You're going to end up in his lap _anyway_. I'm not making it easier on him."

The room is also devoid of anything possible that could distract them, but Optimus doesn't point that out to her. And Ultra's blue is going to stand out brilliantly against the harsh white of the walls and chairs.

Ultra walks in a klik or so later, and Optimus knows he was correct in his assessment. His blues were vibrant, and Optimus wants to touch them.

Sari huffs, "You are both sitting down before I leave. And you should feel lucky I'm not counting this as alone time." Optimus sits as slowly as he can, not wanting Sari to get irritated at how eager he is. Ultra walks slightly faster than usual, but sits relatively slowly. She glares at them both. "You," she points at Ultra, "If you try to get at his spark, I will _know_, and you will be dead." She turns to Optimus, "You. If he does anything that breaks the courting, and you _let him_... I will _remove_ your headfins."

There's no doubt in his processor that she absolutely means that. "I understand, Sari. We aren't going to break the courtship. Not after we've been courting for months."

"Oh, I don't think _you'd_ try and do it on purpose, Optimus," she pats his arm.

He sighs unhappily. "But you think Ultra will?"

She smiles meanly. "Yes." She walks to the door, pausing with it open in her servo, almost stepping out, "You have about an hour. I will be back in _exactly_ a, ugh, megacycle." She shuts the door firmly behind her.

Without any chaperons at all, Optimus feels guilty simply _sitting_ alone with Ultra. He keeps looking at the door, expecting some bot to burst in and scold them for hiding like this.

"You look good, Optimus," Ultra says quietly, though it seems startlingly loud in the empty room.

He jumps slightly in the chair, "Y-you do, too." Rubbing the back of his helmet, he blushes softly, "You always do, though."

Ultra leans down, looking at him in the optics, "You always do, too," making him blush even brighter.

If he ends up with Ultra's paint all over his chest, Sari is going to glare at him. He _wants_ to sit on Ultra's lap again. It's been too long. Behind his plates, his spark flutters nervously.

"Sari did an," Ultra pauses, "interesting job, decorating this room."

"She did," Optimus replies, forcing himself to stay seated.

Ultra reaches over, taking Optimus's servo in his, "I missed being able to just be... alone with you, Optimus."

Optimus relaxes, squeezing Ultra's servo, "So did I."

Ultra tugs Optimus gently into his lap, "Missed just being able to touch you without someone pulling you way." The mech runs a servo over his back, "Missed just having you near me." The servo switches from his back to his side, and turns him so they're face to face, "I love you so much, and not being _able_ to do this," Optimus is kissed lovingly, only a faint hit of glossa before the other bot pulls away, "it just breaks my spark."

Servos pressed to Ultra's chest, Optimus leans up for another kiss, brushing his mouth against Ultra's. "So long as we don't upset Sari too much, we'll be able to do this a lot more now." One of Ultra's servos comes up to cup the back of his helmet, pulling him close, venting hot air against him.

"I look forward to it."

They kiss and Optimus loses track of time; all he's aware of it the feel of Ultra's mouth on his, the heat of his fans, the way their engines rev desperately. It's _better_ than he remembers, because he's not worrying about accidentally opening up this time, or of being caught in the hallway. He knows his frame is going to be striped liberally with Ultra's paint; his own bright red and blue on the larger bot. It makes his engine rev harder.

Sari is going to yell at him for this.

Ultra moves from his mouth to his headfins, and he clutches at the larger bot. He is _so glad_ he had all that practice keeping his plates locked with Starscream, even though it is significantly more difficult to keep closed with the bot he _loves_ teasing him in a way he adores. His venting speeds up, and he offlines his optics to focus on the pleasure.

Denta close around one headfin, and Optimus gasps, grinding his chest against Ultra. If Bumblebee's horns are anywhere near as sensitive as this, it's no wonder he shows up to work with them marked at least once a decacycle. One of Ultra's servos comes down to squeeze his aft, while his glossa continues to tease his headfin. Had Optimus been more coherent, he would have worried about his fans _breaking_ from overuse.

Sari bursts in. "I _knew_ it! On his _lap_! Off! Your hour is up, and you," She points an accusing finger at Ultra, "are _so very_ lucky the AllSpark didn't tell me you cracked his plates open!"

Optimus slips off Ultra's lap during her yelling, blushing faintly at the paint covering him. "I told you he wouldn't break the courting, Sari."

She glares up at Ultra, "But he _wanted_ to. I know he did."

The larger bot smiles, still venting air hard, "I'd be lying if I claimed I didn't, and you know that." He gives Optimus a deep look, optics dimming slightly. "But this courtship is important to Optimus. And he's important enough to me that I won't intentionally break it."

"Like I'm gonna trust you on that," she mutters, and pulls Optimus out of the room. Optimus waves at Ultra, and blows him a quick kiss when Sari isn't looking.

* * *

Optimus glares at his dispenser, which has taken on a life of its own since Sari accidentally AllSpark-upgraded it, and right now it has decided it wants to dispense high grade. He's tried to modify it so it will give him something he can serve his guests, but that only managed to change it from merely very high quality high grade to high grade with various expensive mixes in it.

He needs to make sure this dispenser isn't _charging_ him for energon he doesn't even _want_. Considering _what_ had caused the upgrade, he was fairly certain he wasn't being charged for these rare ingredients and ten-times refined energon. Primus, the _scent_ of it was making him lightheaded.

"Can I help you with that, Optimus?" Wheeljack's audio lights blink cheerfully, and Optimus shakes his head, remembering the last time Wheeljack had been allowed near energon. He didn't want holes in his apartment walls.

"No need. I've got most of it set out already."

Wheeljack smiles at him, or he thinks it is a smile, it is hard to tell with the face mask up. "I'll leave you to it, then."

Ultra steps next to him, "Trying to get them overcharged to make a better impression, Optimus? I'll have to warn you that it won't work on Perceptor or Blurr. Perceptor prefers not to touch it, and I've never seen Blurr overcharged, no matter how much he drinks."

He mutters, "I wish." Looking Ultra in the optic, he nods at the cubes he's holding. "My dispenser should be evaluated as having developed possible sentience. It is refusing to dispense anything but this right now."

Ultra takes a cube and sips from it, optics widening slightly, "This is an exceptional blend, Optimus. I was unaware the models we installed were capable of this. Even ... AllSpark upgraded, as yours is."

Optimus just sighs and walks over to Red Alert and Perceptor, handing them each a cube. "Ultra said you don't drink high grade, Perceptor. I can go try to get some ... fairly normal energon from one of my other dispensers if this doesn't work for you."

Perceptor gives him a slightly surprised look, "High grade is perfectly fine, Optimus. I'm not sure where Ultra got the thought that I didn't." The bot sips it, smiles, and says, "I wonder if I could ask Sari to upgrade _my_ dispenser if this is what happens."

"You are welcome to ask her, but the AllSpark is ultimately responsible," Optimus explains, sipping from his own cube with a slightly sour expression. "I'm thinking of giving this dispenser to Bee. He'd appreciate it more, especially with Blurr around now."

"I'm sure he would," Red Alert snorts. "Probably needs oodles of energy to keep up with a Seeker and agent Blurr."

Optimus shrugs, "I wouldn't know, but judging by how tired _Sunstorm_ is, it isn't Bumblebee that needs the energy. Maybe the dispenser will give a special blend for a carrying bot. It seemed to know that I had everyone visiting."

He notices Sunstorm almost wilted against the wall, across the room from them, and he smiles at Perceptor and the others. "In fact, I should see about that now." He enters his room quickly, and asks the dispenser for a blend meant for carrying bots. It pops out a rather large cube, which Optimus frowns at. He dips a finger in it to test, and bites back a curse at how _strong_ it is. Well, there was no harm in letting Sunstorm decide if he wanted it or not.

Carrying the cube out of his room, he approaches Sunstorm slowly. "Would you like some energon, Sunstorm?"

The seeker smiles at him gratefully, taking the cube, "You are a wonder of the autobot force, Oprimus."

Optimus puts a servo on Sunstorm's arm before the larger mech can drink, "Be careful, I'm not sure if my dispenser decided to give you high grade or not. I told it something for a carrying bot, but ..." He trails off meaningfully.

The other bot smiles, and takes a small sip, perking up instantly, "I could drink this all day. You are a true lifesaver, Optimus Prime."

He vents a sigh of relief. "I'm glad it is acceptable." He eyes Sunstorm shrewdly, "Would you be interested in taking it off my servos? It's obvious you need it more than I."

"Oh, I _couldn't_ do that, Optimus. It would be too kind of you, even as noble as you are," Sunstorm mock protests, but Optimus knows he'll agree to it. "But if you _insist_ ..."

"I do," he's slagging _happy_ to be rid of the cursed thing.

The seeker's optics alight with silent gratitude, "Only because you insist, generous Optimus."

Optimus pats the bot on the arm, and turns away. "I'll go inform Blurr and Bee about it. If you need more, just tell me or get it yourself. It is kind of temperamental, just so you know."

The two bots in question are tucked away in a corner, kissing each other. Optimus coughs loudly, and they startle apart.

"Bossbot?" Bee asks, servo still resting on Blurr's hip. "Didja want something?"

"Only to inform you that you'll be taking _another_ one of my dispensers home."

Bumblebee shakes his head, "No way, bossbot. At this rate, you'll end up with _no_ dispensers, and you'll get all your meals from one of those crappy take-out places I know you go to _way_ too often."

"Sunstorm is carrying a _sparkling_, Bumblebee. I would say he needs it more than I do. Especially when it actually created a special blend for him." Optimus pulls the two smaller bots up, "And you should be with _him_, not here in a corner."

"He doesn't mind," Bee protests irritably, but gets up anyway.

"_I_ mind. He is there, and you are left him hiding against the wall, looking sick."

Blurr flushes, but stands at attention, "If-we-go-over-to-him-now,-like-this,-Optimus,-sir,-we-will-almost-undoubtedly-end-up-borrowing-one-of-your-guest-rooms-for-a-few-megacycles,-and-I-was-unsure-if-you-would-be-upset-by-this-fact-or-not,-so-I-encouraged-Bee-to-come-over-here-with-me."

Optimus blinks. He really hadn't wanted to know that. "If you need to take Sunstorm to _rest_ on a berth for a while, you can use one of the rooms. The one furthest away from my own, please."

Bee takes Blurr's servo, "Thanks, boss-bot, We'll go do that," and takes off. The minibot grabs Sunstorm, and drags the grinning seeker with.

Optimus shudders, then starts walking over to Lockdown, Prowl, and Jazz. They all look immensely amused at him, and Prowl comments, "Are you trying to get Ultra overcharged, Optimus?"

"No," he answers, a bit irritated now. "It's the only thing my dispenser will provide right now."

Lockdown laughs, "Ha, told you Prowler. I _knew_ the little truckbot wouldn't try and get Ultra to open his sparkplates after a few cubes of high-grade."

"I suppose it was a bit unlikely," Prowl admits, leaning easily against Lockdown's side.

Jazz wraps an arm around the both of them, "More than a bit, Prowl. You know how straitlaced OP is."

Prowl gives the other ninjabot an unreadable look, "Yes."

Lockdown hands the camera to Optimus. "Take some pictures of us," he orders, and pulls both ninjabots against his sides, fondling them in entirely inappropriate ways. Nevertheless, Optimus snaps the camera a dozen times or so, without even bothering to look at what sort of pictures he's managed to take. It isn't like Lockdown takes particular care with the photographs _he_ takes.

"There," he hands it back, "Don't ask me to do that again."

Lockdown kisses Prowl possesively, taking the camera as he does, and Optimus shudders, walking away. He heads over to Cliffjumper, sitting next to the minibot, and murmuring, "I _am_ glad you didn't bring Shockwave."

Cliffjumper sips on the cube, "I had to cuff him to the berth to do it."

"That's," he gropes helplessly for a word, "wonderful. I'm very glad you managed it."

"He'll probably make a game of it when I get back," Cliffjumper sighs into his cube. "d'you mind if I grab another cube? I'm going to need the energy."

Optimus blanches at the image that sticks in his processor, and he stutters out a weak yes.

Cliffjumper walks off, and he is joined by Ultra. The larger mech takes his servo, and kisses it softly, "Finished making the rounds, Optimus?"

Leaning on his mech, Optimus sighs happily, "Not quite. I should go talk to Perceptor, Wheeljack and Red Alert again before they get too overcharged, but..." he trails off, and just soaks up Ultra's heat. "It is nice to be with you."

"I know it's terribly selfish of me, but I would prefer you stay with me as well," Ultra admits, stroking Optimus's hip. "You already know that every bot here is going to say yes." He tips Optimus's face up and kisses him; just a brief touch of a mouth against his own. He then nods in the sciencebots' direction. "And I'm relatively certain they're overcharged already."

Wheeljack is doing ... _something_. He's flipping small objects into the air, and Optimus hopes they aren't explosive, whatever they are.

He sighs softly, "Think they'll blow up my apartment?"

Ultra tugs him into his lap, kissing him gently on the neck cabling before answering, "I think they're far more likely to go hit on the ninjabots when they're like this."

Optimus moves so Ultra has a slightly better access, "All three of them?"

Ultra hums thoughtfully, "No. Two of them are more likely to convince the other one that it's a good idea, and cheer the bot on."

The three are huddling together again, laughing occasionally, and eventually Percy is pushed away from the group. He's swaying visibly as he slowly approaches Prowl and Jazz, left alone while Lockdown has gone to collect compromising overcharged images of every bot he can. Red Alert cheers him on, "Go P-Percy!" And promptly breaks down into overcharged giggles.

Optimus's engine revs when Ultra licks his headfin, but he tries to pay attention to the sciencebot, who's just managed to get to the ninjabots.

Perceptor stares blankly at them for a moment, as if he'd forgotten why he'd come over.

Jazz seems to take pity on him, "You look a bit overcharged, man. You wanna chill with us for a bit?"

The sciencebot continues to stare at them both. "Yes. Chill." He lunges forward and wraps his arms around Jazz, yanking him into a kiss.

Wheeljack and Red Alert break into happy giggles and catcalls when Jazz kisses _back_. Optimus is immensely unsurprised by that; a ninjabot is unlikely to turn down a kiss when it is so enthusiastically given. He absently bats Ultra away when his mech tries to nibble on his headfins, "Shh. I want to see what happens next."

Perceptor is drawn into a smaller kiss, and Jazz says, clearly amused, "Is that all you wanted?"

Perceptor sways slightly, shaking his head unsteadily, and pointing at Prowl, "I want to kiss him, too, and then get the both of you in the berth."

Prowl gives the sciencebot an amused look, "And what if we insist Lockdown joins us?"

Perceptor gives him a studying look, "Then we see if I can handle three bots' sparks against mine."

Both ninjabots' optics dim at that, and Prowl pulls Perceptor against him, kissing him, glossa delving into his mouth. Across the room, Lockdown stops mid-picture, straightening as he tips his head in a way indicative of accessing a file from a message. He spins abruptly, optics blazing with lust.

Apparently, either Prowl or Jazz must have sent him that particular offer, because he's striding determinedly towards them. Optimus hopes they make it into one of the spare rooms. And lock the door.

Lockdown picks up Perceptor, kissing the bot thoroughly as he carries him into one of the, thankfully, empty guest rooms, the two ninjabots following closely. There _is_ the click of a lock, and Red Alert and Wheeljack burst into loud giggles again. "He did it!"

This is not what Optimus had in mind for this particular meeting. Fragging glitched energon dispenser. Cliffjumper was swaying unsteadily in the living area, apparently speaking with Shockwave on his comlink, "No, frag _you_. I don't ... don't even know how you got outa the cuffs … but you're not coming over here. Or I find someone to weld your plates shut."

Slipping off of Ultra's lap, he kisses his mech quickly before heading over to the minibot. Setting a servo on the bot's shoulder, he murmurs, "Maybe you should go to a guest room, and have another of your ... companions deal with Shockwave?"

Cliffjumper gives Optimus a dark look, "You know what? I think ... I will." The minibot sways slightly, fingers still at his temple, and focusing angrily at the wall, "I wasn't talking to _you_. _You_ are going to stay _there_, and _I_ am going to stay _here_. Play with Contraclaw and the other sparklings. ... then with the other bots! You only want _me_ there because you hate that I don't give the slightest bit of a damn what you do with them without me. Go harass Thunderclaw."

He cuts the com off then, offering Optimus an apologetic look, "Sorry about that. I didn't ... want to shout at him in your home."

Optimus guides him towards one of the unoccupied guest rooms, "Do you fight with him often?" Ultra considers Cliffjumper family—if he needs protection, or a place to hide from the ex-Decepticon, Ultra will offer it _gladly_. Even Optimus knows that.

"Only when he's being a clingy idiot," Cliffjumper mutters, stumbling alongside him. "He's a Decepticon through and though, but he's willing to try and tone it down for us. And the sparklings. All a bot can really expect, I guess."

Gently helping Cliffjumper to the berth, he shrugs, "I suppose so." Making sure that the minibot is okay, he stays for half a cycle before leaving the room, closing the door softly behind him. He walks back to the common room, glancing over at the two giggling sciencebots before walking over to Ultra, "Sorry about that," he murmurs before kissing his bot softly. "Cliffjumper is recharging now."

Ultra slides a servo down his back. "We're almost out of chaperons at this point, Optimus." He smiles, "Will you be offering _me_ a guest room as well?"

The sciencebots are curled up around each other, and Optimus needs to get them into a room before they fall into recharge on the floor. He looks up at Ultra, "As much as I'd love to offer you my _own_ berth, we both know I can't." He flushes, "You'll need to leave. And come back in the morning, when you think they'll all be online again."

Ultra leans down, giving him a soft kiss, "I'll just go now." There's a pause, "Unless you want me to help with Wheeljack and Red Alert?"

Optimus looks over at the sciencebots, "... no. I don't think so." He kisses his mech. "I love you."

Ultra smiles, kissing him back. "I love you, too." His bot lets go slowly, and walks out the door, blowing him a kiss just before leaving entirely, making him smile.

Optimus watches the door for a klik, before steeling himself and risking life and limb to transport a very overcharged Red Alert and Wheeljack into one of the remaining guest rooms. Hopefully they won't mind sharing a berth.

* * *

Optimus is sipping a cube of energon when the first bots stumble out of their rooms in the morning. Cliffjumper joins him at the table, rubbing the back of his helmet. "Fragging strange to online without other bots clinging to me."

Optimus nods towards the dispenser, giving permission for the bot to help himself, "I wouldn't know."

The dispenser gives a minibot sized cube, and Cliffjumper gives it a confused look, "I didn't know dispensers _could_ give different sized amounts without programming them to." The bot sits down with Optimus, "Did you program it to do that?"

He shakes his head, "It seems to have a mind of its own. I can't program it to do anything since Sari accidentally upgraded it so many times. All it wants to do is give me the most expensive energon possible."

"Seaquake would like that," Cliffjumper murmurs, sipping from his cube carefully. "It's been stellar cycles and he still stores a stockpile of energon in his subspace."

He nods sympathetically, "That's understandable, after what he went through." Optimus gives the dispenser a dark look. "Sunstorm will be taking the dispenser with him, but you're welcome to get a few cubes to take with you if you like."

Cliffjumper smiles, "I might."

Sunstorm is the next one out, carrying a still recharging Bumblebee, and Blurr stumbling after. Optimus calls out before they can pour any energon, "You'll each want to get your own, since it does seem very temperamental about that sort of thing."

The seeker nods, getting his own, and looking utterly amazed at the Decepticon sized cube. While Blurr gets what can only be high grade, and a very good quality at that. The blue carbot looks at the dispenser to Optimus, taking a drink, optics wide at the taste, "Sir?-Are-you-_sure_-you-want-us-to-have-this-dispenser?"

"Yes. I want it _gone_." He shudders when the dispenser makes a little beeping sound, like it is reprimanding him. "You'll be happy with it, I'm sure."

Sunstorm clamps a servo over Blurr's mouth when he tries to protest again. "We will be delighted to place it in our home."

Optimus just waves at them dismissively, looking down at his far too expensive energon in disapproval. He looks up when Red Alert and Wheeljack come out of their room, clutching their heads. "Energon is over there," he jabs a thumb at the dispenser, and they stumble over, each getting their own cube, and smiling brightly. At least, Red Alert does, Wheeljack's audio lights just flash happily.

Sunstorm sits with both Bee and Blurr perched on his lap. Bumbleebee looks at the assembled bots curiously, "Hey, where's Percy? Did he go back home last night?"

Red Alert and Wheeljack share a look and _giggle_. Like giddy sparklings. Bee gives them a confused look, murmuring softly, "I'm just wondering, since he isn't here."

Optimus shudders, "He's ... resting with Prowl, Lockdown, and Jazz."

Blurr, Bee, and Sunstorm blink in surprise, and Bee comments under his breath, "I wouldn't think that's _restful_."

Red Alert and Wheeljack both giggle even louder, foreheads rubbing together, as if sharing a secret or private joke.

Bee finishes his energon, "Did Ultra stay here last night?"

Optimus flushes. "Of course not." He would have never allowed that, even with all their chaperons offline. "He left. And he'll be coming back shortly. Hopefully, Lockdown and the others will be done ... resting by then."

Bee hums agreeably, "Good idea, boss-bot, no need for the newsbots to get hold of that – all they want is another false reason for the courting to be broken."

Optimus stands up, and walks over to the dispenser, poking it irritably. "Wheeljack? If I showed you my other dispensers, do you think you could get those to give me the kind I like?"

Audio lights flashing dubiously, Wheeljack stands at approaches him, "It's possible. I make no guarantees that it won't explode every time you want energon."

Optimus pauses, "What if I _give_ you a dispenser to take with you? You can experiment in your lab."

"Sir,-you-really-can't-be-going-and-giving-away-all-of-your-dispensers.-They-are-rather-expensive-models,-and-you'll-end-up-with-no-dispensers-at-all."

"What a wonderful concept." He prods the dispenser again, and it beeps at him warningly, "Maybe I can get one that actually gives me energon I _like_ to drink, and instead of fussing at me for not wanting something that you normally get in an expensive restaurant." The dispenser beeps angrily, and Optimus turns away. "Not that it matters, since the AllSpark seems insistent that I get it, and I won't stop inviting Sari over just because it keeps using her to mess with the things."

"Should you really be fighting the AllSpark on this, Optimus?" Red Alert asks, enjoying the energon the dispenser made for her. "Because this is utterly fantastic energon. I think I'd offline a dozen bots to get something like this for my own place."

"It's great energon," Optimus admits, before giving up on the dispenser entirely. "But I'd rather not grow accustomed to a type of energon I won't be able to get again the moment this dispenser breaks." And he slagging _liked_ ordinary energon. There was no _need_ for this ridiculously refined and mixed energon.

Cliffjumper looks over at it, "Are you _sure_ it will break? It isn't like the AllSpark makes things that fall apart."

Optimus drops into a chair, and glares at the dispenser poisonously, "If it doesn't, then you three," he waves at Bee, Sunstorm, and Blurr, "have an unbreakable dispenser."

He waves away Blurr's attempt to protest, and is actually grateful when Sunstorm silences him with kisses. He wants the dispenser _gone_. They sit and chat for a few more breems before the ninjabots finally emerge from their room. Optimus thanks Primus for the washracks in _every_ guest room — there are few signs of their activities the previous night. A few missed scuffs here and there, but they do not _look_ like they've been fragging a sciencebot senseless for megacycles.

Prowl gets himself a cube of energon, leaning against the wall beside the dispenser casually. "Perceptor and Lockdown should be out soon."

Optimus keeps from shuddering. "I'll call up Ultra, then."

He puts a two fingers to his temple, and dials the frequency, waiting patiently for his mech to pick up. He smiles automatically when he hears, "Yes, Optimus?" said lovingly.

"If you head back here, we can have the vote soon. And you can get a cube of energon from the dispenser before I give it away."

"You're giving it away?" Optimus could have sworn Ultra sounded disappointed. Perhaps he was. Most mechs enjoyed the ridiculous energon it provided. He'd give the next horribly upgraded one to his intended.

Turning away from the other bots at the table, he answers, "Yes. Sunstorm and Blurr can make better use of it than I, and I'm sure Bumblebee won't mind having it either."

"I suppose so," Ultra is _definitely_ sounding disappointed. "Blurr needs a special energon blend, and Sunstorm is carrying."

"Which is why they get it." Optimus watches as Perceptor walks in with Lockdown, a smile on the normally expressionless bot's face. "But just head on over, everyone is awake, and we need you to be here so we can take the vote before going to work."

"I will be there shortly," Ultra promises, and his voice sends a shiver racing down Optimus's back.

The call is disconnected, and Optimus offlines his optics when Prowl and Jazz both go over to kiss Perceptor. He loved the fact that every room was so perfectly soundproof.

Resting his head on the table, he says, "Ultra is heading over, either as we speak or in a little bit."

He onlines his optics when there's the sound of someone sitting next to him, and Perceptor comments, with a hint of cheer in his voice, "I would say that you certainly know how to throw a party, Optimus."

He groans, "That would be the AllSpark's doing, and you know it. If I didn't have that..." he refrains from cursing, "dispenser, you wouldn't be saying that."

Perceptor shrugs, and his tiny smile widens a bit when Lockdown tips his head back and kisses him. Optimus covers his face with a servo. Perhaps he should implement a 'no kissing at the table' rule, but that would prevent _him_ from kissing Ultra, so ... He sighs.

A little while later, there's a soft knock at the door, and he lets Ultra in. Allowing himself to be drawn into a gentle hug, he leans his head on his mech's chest, optics offline. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Ultra murmurs before kissing him again.

A sharp whistle startles them apart, and Lockdown lowers his servo from his mouth. "Some of us have jobs to get to, loverbots. You gonna let us do the vote?"

From the way Lockdown has pulled Perceptor onto his lap, Optimus doubts that they intend to get any _work_ done this solar cycle. He gives Lockdown an unimpressed look. "Please, go ahead."

Lockdown plays with Perceptor's head dials, "I'm going to vote yes."

Jazz leans over, a servo on Lockdown neck spikes and Perceptor's shoulder, mirroring Prowl. "I would have to agree, yes."

Perceptor seems to be soaking up the attention, "Even if I _hated_ you, which I do not, I would have to vote yes."

The other bots all give their approval as well, and Optimus leans against Ultra, spark warm and happy. They've all agreed that they would be happy to have him included in their family, and it leaves him feeling a bit lightheaded with satisfaction.

Of course, Lockdown manages to shatter that mood entirely by standing up, sweeping the sciencebot into his arms. "We're gonna kidnap Percy for a bit. I'm sure you'll understand his being late to work, Ultra."

Ultra nods, and they all watch Lockdown and his – kidnap victim? - leave. Waiting a little bit longer, Optimus stands up, "And I think we should head to work. Get your cubes for Seaquake and everyone, Cliffjumper, so we can give the dispenser to Sunstorm before we head on out."

"Thanks again, Optimus," the red minibot says, filling four cubes with different shades of energon that he tucks away in his subspace. He leaves with Red Alert and Wheeljack, after both sciencebots get a cube for themselves. Wheeljack promises to come back in a decacycle or so to get one of the dispensers from him to experiment on.

That left only Sunstorm and his partners, and Optimus hurries to disconnect the dispenser for them. "I'm sure you'll get far more enjoyment from this than I ever have."

The dispenser beeps angrily, not even powering down when he unplugs it. Putting it in Sunstorm's arms, he leads them all out of the door and into the elevator. When they're heading out of the building, he nods to the securitybots as they pass, and they all transform except for Sunstorm.

Every instinct in him is telling him to give the order to roll out, but Ultra is higher on the command structure, and Sunstorm is giving a kiss to Bee and Blurr's vehicle modes. They watch the seeker take off, and Ultra coughs softly to get their attention. "Is everyone ready?" At the murmur of agreement, his mech continues, "Then let's head to work."

* * *

**Please review**

Since I know some of you don't read the notes up there, I have some down here.

This will _not _be updating all month. We just don't have enough fic for thirty days, it seems. Not with these long chapters. This isn't me asking if I should make the chapters smaller, because that's just not happening. They are staying at this length, and I'm sure you think that's exhaustive, but this is the length they stay.

Vivienne Grainger did the italics and reading over of this, she is to thank for the reason this is even out on the web right now.


	4. Chapter 4

New chapter, wooooo.

I really don't have much to say, though. Pretty much the same as list time. Read, review, Vivienne is awesome for editing things, leave a review that has a way of me contacting you for a secret if you ask for it, Optimus' girl's reviews make me smile even if I can't respond to her because of lack of email address. You know, the usual.

Disclaimer: Transformers belongs to not me

* * *

Sari is perched on Cyclonus's lap, and she looks ready to vibrate off of it with irritation. The jet himself is sitting there as bland and expressionless as always, save for the giant bright red bows tied at the base of his head fins. Optimus makes a note to not allow Sari to decorate _him_ when she's unhappy.

Sitting across from her, Optimus tilts his head. "I'm fairly sure this is why the newsbots think you're dating him."

She glares at him. "They can think that all they want, but that doesn't stop them from being wrong." She looks up at the jet. "I was thinking about painting rainbows on his wings, like where seekers put their symbols." She pats the mech on the cheek, getting little more than a weak glare, "Wouldn't that be the best thing ever? Maybe you'll get mad enough at me to say something other than how little you care, and wish we had left you to rust in your cell."

Cyclonus doesn't move, "I don't ca-"

She talks over him,"I know. That's why you _don't_ get to vote. While if you were Spittor, you would. Since he actually gives a damn."

Optimus gives her a concerned look, "Spittor cares about Ultra and my courting?"

"He cares because I talk about it to him when I go visit."

"Does he approve of it?"

Sari crosses her arms, "I am so not answering that. You can just go, you know, do whatever it is you're supposed to be doing. Watch Ultra try and prove he deserves to be in our family." She mutters, "Which he totally doesn't. Old pervert."

Optimus sighs, walking over to Bulkhead, seeing Sari fluff up Cyclonus's bow as he does so. Sitting next to the green bot, he smiles. "Been awhile, Bulkhead. Having fun building space bridges?"

"Oh, definitely, Optimus," Bulkhead grins. "I've been doing my best to get a better one set up near Earth — so we can visit more easily, you know? But it's gonna be a while before I can convince them to let me build it."

"I'm sure you'll manage it, Bulkhead." Optimus reassures him, patting his shoulder. "Have you made any new friends out there? It must get rather lonely."

Bulkhead rubs the back of his helmet, "Well, uh, you see," he trails off. Is that a _blush_ on his cheeks? "The entire crew is _really_ nice, and great to work with. But I like to talk to this femme."

Optimus's optic's widen, "Who is she?"

Bulkhead gives him an upset look, "You aren't going to try scaring her off, are you? I have to _work_ with her! I don't expect her to like me back or anything."

He puts up his servos placatingly, "I won't. I promise. I just want to know who she is, maybe talk to her."

The larger mech gives him a dirty look, "Every single bot I've liked and you and the rest of the team just 'talked' to, took off without looking back. I just like talking to her, and I don't expect anything."

"We won't scare her off, Bulkhead," he consoles, trying to smile innocently. "But if she's your friend, she should meet us. You don't hide your friends from your family."

Bulkhead narrows his optics, "You do when your family casually threatens to rip their arms off."

"I promise I won't threaten her, Bulkhead."

Bulkhead looks away, "And that's not a promise that _no one_ will, Optimus. I'm not telling you her name, since you'll just have someone _else_ do it."

He's probably shared her name with Bumblebee. Optimus ducks his head, "Alright, I'll stop asking. It's good that you're making friends out there."

The larger bot eyes him suspiciously, "Yeah. It's nice. Still miss you all a lot, though."

Optimus chats with him for a few kliks longer, before drifting away. He's going to find out the name of that femme from Bee.

Heading straight to the minibot, he sits next to the mech, "Did you know Bulkhead ilkes a femme on his team? Would he have given you a name?"

Bee gives him a confused look, "He does? I wouldn't know, anyway. There's, like, four femmes on his team."

Optimus gives him a confused look, "So there are only two mechs in a team of six?"

"Yeah, I thought it was kinda weird too," Bee keeps a firm hold on Firefly. "Lucky mechs, I guess."

Fingers tap contemplatively against his armor. "Has Bulkhead spoken about one of the femmes more than the others?"

"Uh," Bumblebee winces when Firefly tugs on one of his horns, "Don't do that, Firefly." He bats the servo away and turns back to Optimus, "Maybe. I remember him talking about a Crumplezone a lot."

Optimus smiles, "Then I'll be sure to ask to talk to her. Want to join me in that?"

Bee moves out of Firefly's reach, "Sure, gives me something to do that isn't just stupid errands anyone can run."

"You ought to be thankful that your attention span is less than stellar, or you'd end up under a pile of datapad reports that threatens to consume you each solar cycle." Optimus shudders. Even with delegating, he had ten times more pads to review than he'd ever wanted. Upper management was a nightmarish place to be at times.

Bee shrugs at him, "They tried that, remember?"

He nods, they had found the minibot curled up on pile of datapads like some bizarre nest. "And you didn't last through more than three before you gave up."

"They were so _boring_, bossbot. What did you expect?"

"That you might have _finished_ at least a single solar cycle's worth of work before giving up?"

Bumblebee scoffs, and shoves Firefly into Optimus's arms. "I'm gonna find Blurr. You have just volunteered yourself to watch my sparkling."

Optimus rolls his optics after Bee, and the little bot in his arms gives him a hug, "Op-ti-mus."

Bumping foreheads, he murmurs, "Fi-er-fly."

The sparkling tilts his head hopefully, "Candy?"

"I don't carry candy around with me, Firefly. Are your parents still feeding it to you?"

"Yes?" the sparkling ducks his head, clearly lying.

Optimus pats one of his little wings, "They've stopped giving it whenever you ask, I bet. Especially if Blurr's been helping keep you fueled."

Firefly shifts the wing away from his servos. "Blurr gives yucky energon."

"Blurr gives you energon that helps you _grow_. I bet if you weren't being given that, you'd only end up as big as Bee, rather than almost as big as Sunstorm. Do you want to be big?"

The sparkling gives him a thoughtful look, "Bigger than you?"

He shrugs, "Very likely. I'm kind of in the middle on the size scale of Autobots, and you are a seeker."

"Still gross," the sparkling makes a face.

"The faster you grow, the sooner you'll be able to switch to a normal energon blend," Optimus advises, shifting Firefly on his lap. It's good practice for his future; taking care of a sparkling like this. Later on, he should work up the courage to ask Cliffjumper what it was like to _carry_ a sparkling. Just in case.

Firefly curls up on him, and he simply pets the little mech's back. He's soon joined by Ultra, who kisses him softly. "Just talked to your family, Optimus."

Leaning against his mech, he asks, "And what do you think?"

Ultra sighs, "Sari still doesn't like me. I worry she _will_ vote no."

"It doesn't have to be a unanimous vote this time, Ultra," Optimus glances over to make sure that Sari isn't watching, and kisses Ultra again. "And if she votes no now, she'll have the rest of our lives to learn to love you." A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, and he rests his servos on Ultra's chest. "I certainly have no intention of losing either of you. And we have a very, very long time."

Ultra nuzzles into the back of his neck, and pets Firefly, "I want her to like me now, though. Not just have her tolerate me just because you asked her to."

Firefly climbs out of his lap, and into Ultra's guns as he talks, "She does seem to be warming up to you." Ultra gives him a disbelieving look, "A bit. She isn't throwing anything at you for being next to me."

"I assumed that was because she was distracted by Cyclonus."

Optimus looks over, and Sari _is_ rather distracted. She has pulled ribbon from somewhere; he'd guess her subspace, but she _still_ hates using it. Cyclonus now had red bows dangling from every possible place she could tie one on. It was ... somewhere between amusing and horrifying.

"I think that's... part of it." He watches as she dives into _Cyclonus_' sub-space to pull out a datapad, and clmbs on the mech's shoulder before starting to read it aloud. "You talked to everyone already?"

Ultra kisses him softly, "I could go talk to more if you want me to."

Kissing his bot back, he smiles, "You could ask Bulkhead how he likes working, and if he mentions a femme he likes, try to get her name without seeming _too_ interested. You may want to talk to a few other bots before going to him, though."

Ultra breaks out into a wide grin, "Bulkhead has a crush?" He pulls Optimus closer, "And you plan on investigating the femme in question?"

"Not as such," he murmurs, making sure Sari isn't watching before planting a small kiss on one of Ultra's headfins. "I simply feel it is important to make sure that Bulkhead's work team is made of good mechs and femmes."

Ultra's engine purrs at the kiss, and chuckles softly, "If that's what you want to call it, Optimus." His mech stands up, kissing him softly, "I'll go talk some more."

His spark is warm in his chest as he watches Ultra walk away, amused at Firefly curled up in the guns. Kicking his peds absently, he gets up after a klick, heading over to Ratchet and Arcee.

"Optimus," Arcee greets him cheerfully, pulling him down to sit beside them. "I was just telling Ratchet that we ought to chaperon you on another date soon." She winks at him, "It won't be long until you're allowed to go on dates all by yourselves, after all."

Ratchet grumbles, "That's Arcee's way of saying there's a play she wants to watch, and we all get to go along with her."

Optimus smiles, absolutely certain that Ratchet wants to go too, but is just giving him a way out. "I'd love to go, and I'm sure Ultra will, too. Has he come to talk to you?"

Arcee nods, "And he'd already agreed as long as you did, too."

"Then we'll find a time and make it work," Optimus promises his friends. He enjoys going out with them; they're far less likely to slap his servos. Well, Ratchet is, in any case. Arcee is a bit of a traditionalist, it seems, but she at least allows them the actual limits of the courtship.

He talks with them for a little while longer, wondering if Ultra will join him, and he could sneak into his bot's lap. Instead, he watches absently as Ultra slowly makes his way to Bulkhead. Carefully not looking at them, he asks Ratchet, "Did you know that Bulkhead has a bot he likes?" Ratchet's optics start to snap to the bot in question, but Optimus continues, "Don't look, I'm trying to get Ultra to confirm who I think it is."

Arcee gives him a sharp look, "And why are you doing that, Optimus?"

He hunches in on himself a bit, defensively, "Is it wrong to want to keep a friend safe? We only want to make sure this femme doesn't plan on breaking Bulkhead's spark."

"Of course," she knocks the side of his helmet with her fist, "you fragging glitches. You'll just run the poor thing off."

"You don't know that, Arcee."

She glares at him, "He's a grown bot, Optimus. He can take care of himself, and you _know_ it. At the very least promise me you won't threaten the bot."

Optimus smiles, "I already promised Bulkhead that, so I have no problem doing the same for you."

"I'm going to have to track all of you down and get every one of you to agree to that, aren't I?" At Ratchet and Optimus's shared innocent look, Arcee covers her face with her palm. "I can't believe you bots sometimes, I swear. Did Primus create you without a tact program?"

Optimus scoots away from her, out of hitting range. "I only want him safe."

She glares at him, "Like the Pit you do. He's _allowed_ to be happy, Optimus. When you do track this bot down, you will be _nice_ about it."

"Yes, ma'am," he mutters. He didn't enjoy being made to feel like a misbehaving sparkling. A warm servo on his shoulder brings the smile back to his face. "Ultra."

He's pulled onto Ultra's lap, "Bulkhead spoke at some length about his team. But he spoke most often of a femme named Crumplezone. A neutral bot hired because of her specialties in bridge building."

Melting into his mech's hold, he takes Ultra's servo in his own, squeezing softly, "Then we will just have to talk to her, and make sure she doesn't hurt him."

Ultra kisses him softly, "I think that he likes her a very great deal, Optimus. He clearly knew why I was asking, but since I didn't press he was willing to talk."

"All the more reason for her to meet us," Optimus says, entirely reasonable in his expectation. If she wanted to be Bulkhead's friend—or more—she would need to get along with the rest of them.

Ultra rubs his back, "Do _not_ ask her to come to Autobot Command. You know that makes most bots nervous." Optimus frowns. Did Ultra _have_ to ruin his plans like that?

Sighing, he cuddles into Ultra's touch, "I won't, then. We'll figure something out." He's kissed again, and he clings to his bot, "Later, though. Later."

Ultra rubs foreheads, "That's what I thought." Optimus just hums happily, engine purring.

A cough behind him has Optimus turning on Ultra's lap, flushing a bit to find Sari scowling down at him from Cyclonus' shoulder. "We're going to vote now."

Red bows litter the mech's form, and each of his wings are liberally wrapped in ribbon. If Optimus didn't know better, he'd say they were _twitching_ in agitation. Perhaps they were. Wings were remarkably sensitive — he knew that well enough from his own brief experience with wings.

She continues, "As much as I don't want to say this... I'm going to have to vote... yes." She glares at Ultra, "This is _not_ because I like you, it is because Cyclonus convinced me it is a good idea." Optimus looks at Cyclonus, who looks _utterly_ confused. It is very clear that the jet never said anything about which way to vote, and he can only assume that she meant the fact that Ultra got the mech freed, and given to her.

Ultra relaxed so much against Optimus that the smaller mech worried his intended was going to melt right through the couch. He'd been more worried about Sari's approval and willingness to accept him into the family than he'd revealed. Optimus rubs Ultra's thigh soothingly.

Prowl smiles, "Jazz already considers you family. Lockdown and I would be glad to have you as well."

Draping himself over Prowl, Jazz flashes them a little thumbs-up sign, "Told you ya had nothing to worry about, man."

Ultra smiles, holding Optimus close, and the rest of the family gives their approval. It is clear the one Ultra was the most worried about was Sari, and when she agreed, the rest fell into place.

* * *

Optimus was seated at the desk, with Bumblebee standing as much at attention as Bee was capable of beside him. "Please, have a seat, Crumplezone."

The femme looked rather nervous; she had a jaw rather like Bulkhead's, and a very nice set of blue optics. She sat across from them. "I'm afraid I don't understand why I was asked to come here. I didn't even know Autobot Command had an office out here. The sign said this was a requisitions office."

He can see her flexing her fingers, as if to reach into her sub-space, and glancing at the black symbol spot on her arm, he'd guess it is her wanting to just slap an Autobot sticker on so they don't declare she was supporting the Decepticons or some other nonsense. He knows most neutrals didn't care one way or another who won as long as they could keep living their lives.

He glances down at the datapad in front of him, and looks her directly in the optics, "I've heard a little bit about you from Bulkhead. It says here that you're a mech?" He carefully does _not_ look at the bot's curvy figure, "But he is under the impression that you're a femme."

"Most bots think I'm a femme," the bot answers, clearly confused about why she, or he, is being asked about this. "If anyone asks, I'll tell them I'm a mech. Bulkhead never asked." Crumplezone shrugs, "It doesn't bother me to be thought of as a femme, and I get slagging," he coughs, "uh, sorry for the language, I get pretty irritated having to prove I'm a mech all the time."

Optimus nods, and flips through the datapad again. The rest of it is just random stories he dropped in to make it look like he had more information, and he looks back at the green mech, "Not a problem. I was just curious about that. Anyway," He hands the pad to Bee, "down to what we wanted to speak to you about." He looks over, and Ratchet and Prowl walk in. "What are your intentions with Bulkhead?"

"My," the mech watches the others come in, visibly tensing, "intentions?" His servos twitch again, and Optimus wonders if he's still wanting to go for any Autobot things he's carrying, or if it's an instinctive desire to have a weapon available when surrounded by potentially hostile bots. Possibly both. "I have no idea what you're talking about, sirs."

Optimus shares a look with Prowl and Ratchet, while Bumblebee is reading through the datapad he handed the minibot, "You don't? You were the one he mentioned the most, and he mentioned really liking a femme." Ratchet looks like he wants to snap out something, but Prowl grabs the medic before Ratchet can say anything. "Are you the ... bot that he spends most of his time with?"

Crumplezone gives them a horribly confused look, no longer twitching towards his sub-space, "Well, yes, but he never said anything about liking me. Other than as a friend ... sir."

"Do you intend to take advantage of his trust?" Optimus asks, servos folded carefully in front of him on the desktop.

The bot gives him an odd look. "Take advantage of Bulkhead?" His fingers rub restlessly against his leg. "Why in Primus's name would I do that? I mean, you say he's ... interested in me?" Crumplezone shakes his head. "I never even noticed. I mean, my general rule is making sure a bot knows I'm a mech after they hit on me."

Prowl sits on the desk, posing so he doesn't look intimidating but is still higher up, "And you say that he _hasn't_ expressed interest?" Crumplezone gives them a confused head nod. "Do yo-" Prowl stops at a gentle touch from Optimus.

"Well, since you genuinely didn't know, I think we will skip over our usual speech to bots that he likes."

"Usual speech?" Crumplezone eyes them carefully, "Do you normally try scaring off the bots he likes? 'S not a very friendly thing to do."

Optimus offers him a smile that's not entirely kind, "Bulkhead is a fantastic mech. But he can be a bit _too_ trusting at times. We just like to prevent him from being hurt unnecessarily."

"Trusts too easily?" The mech looks like he wants to curse at them, but isn't sure if he can get away with it.

Bee finally looks up, "Oh, yeah. Way too easily. Remember the Constructicons?"

Crumplezone narrows his optics, "Yeah. I remember _reading_ about them. And Bulkhead mentioned them a couple times, when he was overcharged."

Ratchet leaps on that, "You've been getting him overcharged?"

"He's been getting _himself_ overcharged. Like a normal bot."

He can tell Ratchet wants to start cursing, and that will solve absolutely nothing, so he sets a servo on the medic's arm. "He _is_ an adult, do I need to have Arcee tell you that? She will be far less kind about how it is said."

Ratchet gives him a dirty look, and crosses his arms, "Fine, Prime. Go on with what you want to say."

He looks at Crumplezone, thinking about it. "If he does approach you, and you hurt him, we will rip out your spark." He smiles, "But if you make him happy, you will be welcome into our family for as long as you wish." He can see the carbot's thoughts in the mech's optics. "And you _will_ want to be part of the family if you two get together. He will not part with us, and we will not part with him."

"He's a teammate," the mech answers cautiously. "Not the same kinda team you've got going on, obviously, but a teammate still. I'm not going to intentionally hurt him." He stands, "Look, are we done here? I'm not really comfortable talking about this behind his back."

Optimus pulls out another datapad, "Yes, of course. And if you're uncomfortable about us discussing this without Bulkhead, you are welcome to tell him. There are no secrets among family, after all."

Crumplezone gives him a look that is clearly hiding a glare before nodding. "Of course, sir." The bot's tone is just on the edge of bitter.

They watch him walk out, waiting a full klik as Prowl makes sure he's gone. Then the ninjabot comments, "He's really quite pretty, isn't he?"

"That's utterly irrelevant, Prowl," Optimus scolds him.

Ratchet stares at the door, "He looks just like a femme. Makes a bot think he's hiding something."

He resists the urge to cover his face with his servo. "I'm not sure I follow that train of logic, Ratchet."

The medic grumbles, "Just, it's pretty rare for a mech to look that much like a femme. And how do we know he was actually gonna tell Bulkhead about it?"

"If he doesn't, then _we_ do. It will be easy enough to bring into conversation if he starts talking about how pretty his girlfriend Crumplezone is, don't you think?"

Ratchet glares at him, then turns away, arms crossed and grumbling.

Bumblebee blinks, "Oh hey, I need to take this call." He presses his fingers to his temple and listens for a nanoklik, "Woah, hey, Blurr. Slow down. What are you ..." he stops. "Did he really? No. I didn't leave any paint out for him. I have no idea how he got into it. It's not _my_ fault if he painted you orange and yellow. Firefly _likes_ those colors."

Optimus watches as Bee walks around the room, "I don't know where the solvent is, but I think that- what do you mean Firefly was trying to destroy the dispenser?" Bee winces unhappily, "Did you tell him that's where the _good_ energon comes from? ... and that's why he's angry? ... Yeah... okay. I'll head home, just let me tell Optimus. Love you, too."

Bee turns to him, and he waves a servo. "Go, it sounds like Blurr needs you more than we do, and we're just going to be cleaning up." Bee is a yellow streak that runs out of the office, and he shakes his head. "Let's go home. I need to prepare for taking care of that little trouble maker tomorrow."

* * *

Three megacycles of effort later, Optimus was finally willing to declare his apartment safe for sparklings. Bee would be dropping Firefly off soon, and Ultra would arrive shortly thereafter. An entire solar cycle alone with Ultra — and a sparkling. Well, it wasn't _truly_ alone, as they would likely take Firefly out to burn off some of his energy mid-day, and he fully anticipated that Sari and Lockdown would be scattering calls to them both throughout, to make sure they hadn't snuck off for an interface while Firefly was napping.

Optimus flushes. As if he'd ever do that.

He looks around, making sure there's nothing he's missing, when there's a knock at the door. He lets Bee in, and takes the fussy sparkling into his arms, "Sorry, bossbot, we haven't fed him yet. Lockdown _and_ Sari said that you guys need to do it. I'd normally feed him first thing, but..." He trails off unhappily.

Optimus grabs the cube of energon he already had prepared and holds it, "I know, Bee. You go have fun with Sunstorm and Blurr. I can do this by myself for the few cycles it takes Ultra to get here."

"Thanks so much, Bossbot. We really do appreciate having a solar cycle off." He leans forward and kisses Firefly's forehead. "Be good for Optimus and Ultra." Firefly smacks the side of his helmet and Bee blinks. "He's a little cranky before he eats."

"I can see that," Optimus hums, and shakes the energon cube carefully, "I have fuel for you, Firefly. Are you hungry?"

Firefly glares at the cube, "No!"

"Are you sure?" Firefly nods angrily. "I could drink it instead, since you're so sure." Optimus' tone is light as he starts to bring the cube to his lips.

"No!"

"So you _do_ want it?"

"No!"

Optimus shrugs, "It's mine then. You can't have any." He drinks a bit of it, very visibly, and not faking at all. Licking his lips, he murmurs, "Delicious."

Firefly gives him a horrified look, "No! Mine!"

Holding it out for Firefly, he says, "I don't know, Firefly. You were pretty sure you didn't want it."

Firefly takes the cube and starts to drink from it, with a little hissed, "Mine!"

Bumblebee laughs and pats Firefly's head. "I can see you've got him well in servo. We'll swing by to pick him up later tonight." And with that, the minibot is gone in a flash.

Firefly hisses at him as he puts the mech in a chair. Patting the bot on the head, he pulls out the blocks again. "When you're done with that, would you like to play with blocks or watch a movie?"

Firefly glares at him, pushing away his half full cube, "No."

The door chimes and Optimus goes to answer it, leaving Firefly with his energon cube. "Ultra," he smiles, leaning up for a kiss. "Firefly is here already."

Servos lift Optimus for a much deeper kiss, glossas delving. He's not released until his engine revs. Ultra Magnus sets him back on his peds, "Good morning, Optimus."

Trying to get his spark to stop hammering in his chest, he murmurs back, "Good morning." Shaking his head, he pulls his intended in, and closes the door. Turning back to Firefly, he frowns, "You need to drink it _all_, you know."

"No! Tastes icky." The sparkling glares at the cube, refusing to even touch it.

Ultra chuckles and picks the cube up, dipping a finger in it to test. He makes a face and kneels down to get closer to optic level with the sparkling. "It is pretty icky. Would you like me to make it better?"

Firefly perks up, "Make it candy?"

Patting the little bot's head, he rises again. "Not candy, I'm afraid." He scoops Firefly up in his other arm and carries them into the kitchen, putting Firefly on the counter top. Optimus watches curiously.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

Ultra rifles through the cabinets, pulling out some of the energon additives that had been gathering metaphorical dust there. "Of course I do." He pours the energon into a mixer, and adds two or three different powders to it. "I've taken care of sparklings in the past. I admit they always have tended to take advantage of me a bit."

"You have? I thought you di-" he cuts himself off, not wanting to bring up painful memories. He whispers softly, "Sorry."

Ultra hands Firefly the cube of mixed energon, and pulls him into a hug, and a soft kiss. "It was a _very_ long time ago, Optimus. You don't have to apologize. I've long since accepted that they are long gone."

"You don't have to talk about them," Optimus laces his fingers with Ultra's.

The larger mech pulls their combined servos up and kisses his fingers. "I don't mind talking about them. With you."

Flushing, Optimus turns his attention to Firefly, who is licking his lips, the energon cube completely empty. The truckbot's optics widen. "What did you do to it?"

"I just added a few things so it will taste sweet to a sparkling, but not ruin the nutrition already in the mix." Ultra puts Firefly in Optimus's arms, "I figured it out while taking care of my nephews and niece."

Despite his curiosity, he doesn't ask for details about them. Ultra will share what he feels comfortable sharing. Balancing Firefly in his arms, he smiles at his intended. "So you have a lot of experience with sparklings?"

"Quite a bit, yes. Only as an uncle, though."

They walk to the living area. "Did you like the energon Ultra made for you, Firefly?"

"Yes! More?"

Optimus glances at Ultra, who shakes his head, "I'm sorry, Firefly, but you're only supposed to have a cube unless you're healing."

Optimus rubs foreheads with the little mech, "But we can fuel up again later, with Ultra's special mix. Want to do something now?"

Firefly squirms down to the pile of blocks, picking up an assortment before climbing Ultra like piece of furniture, perching on top. "Want to make guns." He starts sticking the blocks to Ultra's turret mounts.

"You think I need _more_?" Ultra is clearly fighting off the urge to laugh.

Firefly doesn't even dignify that with an answer, just slaps more blocks on Ultra's turrets. Optimus chuckles softly, "Are you sure they only need to be there? He has arms and legs, you know."

Firefly gives him a calculating look, optics roving over his arms and legs, before going back to adding blocks to where they were in the first place. "No."

Optimus picks up a few blocks to fiddle with, trying to assemble something that would fly. "Would you like some, Ultra?"

Shaking his head, Ultra simply watches Firefly build on him, "I'm quite content with watching the two of you."

Leaning against his beloved, his engine purrs happily, "If you say so." He pulls several blocks together, wondering if he should make a jet or some other aircraft.

Ultra rests a servo on his shoulder, rubbing a thumb on Optimus's faceplate lovingly, "I do."

It only took the smallest of movements to turn his head enough to kiss that fingertip. Ultra's optics dim slightly, and he brushes the thumb over his lips; Optimus considers opening his mouth and _licking_.

Luckily, he's saved from having to make such a decision by a cranky sparkling smacking his servo on Ultra's turret noisily. "More blocks!"

Pulling away from Ultra's touch, Optimus fights back a flush. "That's not how you ask for something, Firefly."

Firefly pouts. "More blocks, please!"

"Much better." He hands a pile of blocks to Ultra, who transfers them to Firefly. The little mech arranges those into a pile, then goes back to putting more pretend guns on Ultra. Shaking his head, Optimus returns to his own project. He's searching through the bloacks for rotor blades when there's a com call.

He sighs, bracing himself, and puts his fingers to his temple, and the amused tones of Lockdown come instantly, "You two better stop 'facing, there's a _sparkling_ you should be taking care of."

"Charming as always, Lockdown," Optimus says, sitting back to watch Firefly construct some sort of fantastically impractical gun. He wonders if the sparkling will destroy it after realizing they do not have enough blocks for him to create an identical weapon on Ultra's other shoulder. "Was there a point to your call, or did you simply wish to harass?"

"Well, harassing you was the main priority, but I also called to tell you that you should take Firefly out to a park or somethin' to that effect. Like an actual parent."

Optimus sighs, "And you just so _happen_ to have a park in mind that you want us to go to, I bet. Where you just so _happen_ to be."

"It's even close to your apartment!"

"I'm sure it is. Just give me the name, and we'll bring Firefly down in a megacycle or so."

Lockdown rattles off the location, and Optimus disconnects the call as quickly as possible, before Lockdown can convince him to agree to anything else. Only a few blocks remain on the floor now, Ultra having given most of them to Firefly, who looks increasingly frustrated by the fact that Optimus hasn't supplied enough materials for two enormous, impractical gun assemblies.

Looking up at the little bot, he tilts his head, "If you made it smaller, you could put on two."

Firefly makes an unhappy whining noise, whimpering out, "No."

Handing up his still unfinished helicopter, he dusts off his arms, "If you're sure. We're out of blocks. You used them all. No way to fix that."

Something flashes in the little bot's optics, and he leans in to whisper something in Ultra's audio, giving him a wide, pleading look after. Remembering Ultra's own admission, and the tiny Elite wings on Firefly's Autobot insignias, Optimus gives the both of them a stern look.

"No, you will _not_ be buying him more blocks."

Ultra reaches up, a gentle servo on Firefly's back, "It isn't like having more would be a bad thing, Optimus."

He shakes his head, "No. No more blocks. The amount I have is enough for _three_ sparklings, as long as they don't do something like that," he waves an arm at the faux gun that Firefly is still adding to from the loose blocks. "More is not needed, and you know it."

"It won't do any harm, Optimus," Ultra protests, shifting his shoulder to allow Firefly better access.

He's forced to disagree. "It will teach him that you cave to his every demand." Optimus watches Ultra hunch in on himself a bit, defensively, and he reaches out to grab his servo, squeezing it. "You need to learn to say no. For when we have our own sparklings." He manages not to blush by sheer power of will.

He can hear Ultra's engine rev slightly as his mech says, "We could get more blocks to keep for _our_ sparkling; keep them here for Firefly to play with them."

Optimus sighs, shaking his head. "You must be strong on certain points, Ultra. This is something that you need to realize: we don't _need_ more than what we already have. You don't want to spoil sparklings too much."

"You're not the best judge of what a bot _needs_," Ultra scolds him lightly. "If it were up to you, you'd be drinking utter swill and have an apartment with barely enough room for a berth."

"I wouldn't," he insists, though really, he doesn't need an apartment this large, or expensive energon. "But even if I did, that doesn't mean we should be spoiling Firefly by agreeing to his every demand. Sparklings _have_ to learn that they don't get everything they want."

"But getting more blocks isn't going to sp-"

Optimus puts a finger against Ultra's mouth, "And when they ask for a new toy every day? One toy every time you go out and come back? You need to learn to draw the line early, Ultra. Every so often will not hurt, but if you bring a piece of candy every day..." He gives his mech a concerned look, "We do not need more blocks. We have is enough."

"More?" Firefly asks, running out of blocks with the second gun still unfinished.

Ultra sighs quietly, reaching up to pet Firefly's wings. "No more for now, Firefly. We'll get more blocks when your brother is born." He smiles at Optimus. "That's a fair compromise?"

Optimus rubs his optics, "I suppose." He looks up at Firefly, "Hand down the blocks, Firefly. We're going to the park, and Ultra will look very silly with only one finished block gun. Don't you agree?"

Firefly looks at the toys irritably, "... yes."

The blocks store away nicely in the space he's set aside for them, though he tucks a few away in his subspace in case Firefly wants to play with them at the park. "Do you want Ultra to carry you?"

"Yes," Firefly clings to the turret mounts, petting them with his tiny servos.

With Optimus taking Ultra's servo, they walk out the door. He leans on his beloved as they get into the elevator. "Think Lockdown will be hiding, or will he be really obvious about it?"

His intended hums in thought, "How did he sound on the call?"

He shrugs, "Same as he ever does, really. Half mocking, half full of dark humor, all dangerous."

"I'm fairly sure your assessment of danger stems from when he..." Ultra trails off, scowling.

"From when he kidnapped and tried to cut me apart for mods?"

Ultra squeezes his servo hard, "Remind me why we let him near you?"

Optimus walks close to him, waving at the guard as they leave, "He's redeemed himself; or he's still redeeming himself. And, while I can't call him a _good_ mech, he's certainly not a _bad_ one anymore."

On his shoulder, Firefly starts to twitch, and Optimus can hear his little heel turbines start up. Ultra reaches up and taps Firefly's wing. "No flying around our heads. If I have to, I'll get out a little tether and hook your servo to one of my guns."

Firefly gives Ultra a horrified look, and curls up in the turrets. The little bot whispers, "No."

"Then you don't go flying off where we can't get you."

Firefly whines softly, but doesn't try to take off.

Thankfully, the park is only a short distance away. Optimus spots Lockdown immediately, sitting on a bench, every other bot having chosen to sit quite a distance away from him. Lockdown pretends to not notice them. Optimus rolls his optics. He'll probably play this off as an utterly chance meeting.

"Lockdown," he greets the mech, who jerks his head up and affects an expression surprise.

"Why, Optimus, I'd have never expected to see _you_ here." He pulls a camera from his subspace. "I'm just admiring the scenery."

Optimus eyes him cautiously, "If any of the other bots think you're taking pictures of _them_, or of their sparklings, you'll need to stop."

Lockdown smirks, "Do you really think that _I_ would ev-"

Optimus talks over him, "Yes. You would. You are not going to. Or I will destroy that camera."

Lockdown rolls his optics, "Yeah, yeah. I got it, kid. I wasn't going to, anyway. No profit in terrorizing random bots like that, anyway."

"You forget that I've known you for stellar cycles," Optimus rests a servo on his hip, "and I know that unlike Swindle, _you_ place equal value on entertainment and credits."

Servos in the air in a gesture of surrender, Lockdown tisks at him, "You're no fun, kid. Just like my ninjabots, who refused to come with me for this."

He'd like to threaten not to allow the bot to publish anything, but he's in public and not able to admit he actually does let the mech do it. Instead he gives Lockdown a dark look, and returns to Ultra, who is holding Firefly to keep him from taking off. "Maybe there should be some areas for fliers at various parks?" he murmurs as he looks through the various obstacle areas, all made for autobot models. "Since we're integrating various flying models into society."

"We'll bring it up at the next Council meeting," Ultra promises, "though I don't imagine it will get much priority. Few Autobots are flight-capable."

Firefly takes off, and they watch the sparkling skim the tops of various areas, "Maybe we should have more."

Ultra reaches over, taking his servo, and squeezing it gently, "If everything goes well, we will."

"It helps that some of the flying bots have been willing to share code with us," Optimus leans against his side, soaking up his warmth. "Though I'm sure Perceptor would appreciate significantly more time to study said code from the actual bots, rather than the datapads they offer."

Ultra moves so Optimus is being held in both arms as they stand, "They do seem adamant on not having their code studied while the pad is in them."

Optimus leans against his intended, "Maybe in a few stellar cycles."

Firefly does several loop-the-loops, "Or less?"

They watch as the sparkling lands gently on the ramp next to a little carbot, "I'd bet more. The sparklings would be more likely to agree than the actual seekers."

Firefly makes a face at the other sparkling, saying something they can't hear, and the car sparkling takes off down the ramp, Firefly close behind. "Possibly."

Optimus chuckles, "I'm sure part of their objection is Perceptor's single shoulder cannon. You know how they get about asymmetry."

"Lockdown drives them mad," Ultra agrees, kissing Optimus gently. He knows the other bots in the park are watching them, but he doesn't mind it nearly as much now.

They watch as Firefly kisses the carbot he was racing on the cheek, making the other little mech giggle. "I've had them offer to put a second autobot symbol on my other arm."

Firefly flits off to another sparkling, bowing deeply. "When was this?"

The little motorcycle curtsies back. "A little bit after Prowl ripped off Starscream's head." Firefly kisses the little femme's servo, and pulls her into a small dance, holding her servos and spinning them both in a small circle. Optimus tilts his head, "Firefly is being very... charming, isn't he?"

"Seekers can be charming when they want." Ultra pets Optimus's hip. "They are quite talented at it."

Optimus knows this firsthand, having spent so much time among them. Though Starscream had always leaned more towards the handsy side of charming, especially when he'd gotten Optimus alone. Thinking of it made his spark squirm uncomfortably in his chest.

Ultra kisses him softly on the temple, and he relaxes into his love's arms. "Some of them."

Ultra kisses him on the top of the head as Firefly lets go of the femme to kiss a motorcycle sparkling mech on the helm. "Well, it seems like he is, anyway."

Firefly spreads his wings, allowing the little mech to point out the elite wings jealously. "He does have the pride down, too."

A short exchange of some sort has Firefly pointing to them both, and Optimus waves at the little sparklings who all stare at them with wide optics. The motorcycle sparkling zips over to them and transforms, so much tinier than Firefly as he looks up at them. "Are you really Ultra Magnus?"

Dropping to one knee to get a bit closer, Ultra nods, "I am. And what's your name? Are your parents that nice pair of cyclebots over there?"

The little bot puffs up proudly, "Yes!"

"You certainly look like them." Ultra tilts his head, a small smile on his face, "Was there something you wanted? Or did you just come over to make sure Firefly wasn't lying?"

The sparkling glances over to Firefly, who is kissing another sparkling, this time on the nose, before turning back to Ultra. "You gave him _wings_."

Ultra chuckles, "That I did. Did you want some of your own?"

"Yes!" the sparkling shouts, bouncing up and down on his peds. He glances back at his parents, and then adds, "Please," as an afterthought.

"Do you think the other sparklings would like some wings too?" Ultra asks, already pulling out a can of paint and a brush.

The sparkling seems torn—he clearly wants special wings of his own, but doesn't want to _lie_ to Ultra Magnus. "Yes," he finally admits, scuffing his peds on the ground.

Ultra pats his head, "Go tell them to come over."

The little bot speeds away, and Optimus casts a stern look at Ultra. "You can't paint Elite Guard wings on them all."

His intended just smiles and hands Optimus a brush. "I agree. It would take far too long to do them all myself. Which is why you'll be helping."

Optimus gives him an incredulous look, "This better not be the-"

Ultra kisses him to stop him from talking, ignoring various grossed out noises from the sparklings, "It is just temporary. Only one day. Let them pl-"

Optimus bumps their foreheads, "Temporary paint is just fine, we don't know how many of _these_ sparklings actually _want_ to be an elite guard when they're older like Firefly does."

"The paint will have faded even from Firefly long before that becomes an issue," Ultra turns back to the sparklings, pointing the brush at the motorcyclebot. "I believe I promised you would get to go first. The rest of you will need to decide who gets to be painted by Optimus."

After the cyclebot stands in front of Ultra, the other sparklings share a look and push the femme towards Optimus.

Kneeling down, he starts to paint it on, "Do you know how important these wings are?" She nods her head, making him raise an optic ridge. "Do you _really_?" She pauses and shrugs. "It means that you're supposed to keep other bots safe while upholding the law. While you have this, it means you are supposed to be the most responsible bot you can be." He puts on finishing touches, "It is not a symbol you wear lightly. You must be good, because you represent the best of the Autobots as you wear it."

She nods solemnly, and then scrambles up his frame to plant a kiss on his cheek, before giggling and racing out of reach. He smiles bemusedly. Optimus would just have to hope the sparklings took his speech to spark.

They both work their way through the group of sparklings, until Optimus is painting the last one, reciting the speech to him. Ultra rubs Otpimus's shoulder when the little truckbot goes to join his companions. "It's good to hear things like that from you." Fingers rub against Optimus's insignia, "That you value these wings so much."

Leaning against his mech, he wraps his arms around the larger bot, "It is _important_. You need to remember what you're representing if you have it on. Bots see the symbol and are either happy that the best of us are good bots, or disgusted that the 'best' is a bot that can't control themselves in public. We want someone that knows how to act, and if they decide to be elites, they will remember how important it is."

"They're sparklings," Ultra murmurs into his audio, holding him close. "No one expects them to behave perfectly, no matter what insignia they bear." He rests a servo on the small of Optimus's back, wisely keeping it away from his aft. Optimus still had rather strict limits on certain kinds of public touching. "But I admit that I find your idealism refreshing. It is a large part of why I love you so."

Optimus nuzzles into Ultra's chest, avoiding the sparkplates deftly, "It is always better for them to know before it is vitally important than when they can't learn from a mistake."

Ultra kisses him on the top of the head, "Always so serious, Optimus."

He chuckles softly, "I guess, but I think it _is_ important to know this."

"Maybe I should have you do the next round of promotions while giving your speech," Ultra nods to the sparklings, the ones that Optimus painted mostly acting a bit less rashly than the ones Ultra worked on. "They seem to have taken what you said to spark."

"It's a valuable lesson for them to learn," Optimus keeps an optic on Firefly, making sure the little bot continues to get along with the other sparklings. "One they'll need to remember if they intend to go through boot camp and the academy successfully."

Ultra tightens his hold into a more solid hug, "If they want to do that."

They watch as Firefly kisses another sparkling. "Of course."

"Do you think Firefly will be tired enough to take a stasis nap?" Ultra murmurs in his audio, servos rubbing his back in slow circles. "I wouldn't mind getting a bit of time alone with you again."

Firefly flutters his wings at the femme; he's picked that flirting up from the other Seekers in his life, no doubt. "It's possible. He's not eating candy all the time anymore, so he should wear himself out."

"And he actually drank all of the energon we gave him." Ultra kisses Optimus on the top of his head, just barely not touching his headfins. "That should help."

Firefly has one of his wings touched by another little mech, and they watch as the jet squeaks unhappily. Optimus is about to walk over to break up a possible fight when the carbot rubs the wing apologetically, and gets a kiss from Firefly. "... I think he's trying to kiss every single one of the other sparklings."

Chuckling, Ultra releases Optimus, "It's quite clear which side most of his CNA came from." He keeps his fingers linked with Optimus's. "I wonder who Blurr's sparkling will take after."

"He's a seeker model, so I suppose he'll be as much of a charming little flirt with other bots as Firefly." After a brief moment, he adds, "Though hopefully less spoiled, with Blurr there to help raise him." The other sparklings are all petting Firefly's wings now, and the little jet is giggling. "And Firefly is doing so much better now that they aren't letting him get away with everything."

Optimus kisses Ultra's check, smiling happily, "Yes. He's acting much better now than how he was with just Bee and Sunstorm. No longer flying around randomly and taking off."

Ultra pulls Optimus against his side, and they sit together and watch Firefly play with the other sparklings, sticking mostly to the ground as they chase each other. Eventually, the bots begin to show signs of tiring, and a few of the other parents come to collect their sparklings and leave. Firefly waves at each of them as they go.

Leaning over, Optimus kisses Ultra's cheek. "You should go get Firefly. I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking a nap soon."

Ultra kisses him softly, "Very true." Optimus watches as his intended walks over to Firefly, and the sparkling gives the mech an upset look, but doesn't actively protest. The little jet gives each of the other sparklings a kiss on the cheek goodbye, except for one who had turned his head to get it on the lips. Optimus can barely hold in the laughter as Firefly blinks at the little racecar in confusion.

Firefly nestles in amongst Ultra's guns, curling around them in a way that hardly looks comfortable to Optimus. The sparkling seems to like it well enough.

Optimus takes Ultra's servo in his when he returns, "I think someone has a little crush on Firefly." The larger mech just smiles at him, and they walk away from the park together. Optimus knows that Lockdown is probably harassing the other bots to allow their pictures to be used in his articles.

A chill races down his spine suddenly, and he glances at a strange bot from the corner of his optics. That bot had been watching them for quite a while now, and was now carefully _not_ watching them leave. He forces his processor away from it. Probably a reporter from one of the horrible tabloids that kept _nearly_ breaking the laws while covering them.

Squeezing Ultra's servo, they walk back to Optimus's apartment building without incident, and greet the securitybot cheerfully. When they get into his apartment, Firefly is recharging while entangled in Ultra's guns. Looking up at the sparkling, he murmurs, "Do you think you could get him out without waking him?"

"Possibly." Ultra shifts his guns around carefully, kneeling down so Optimus can carefully pull Firefly free. No matter how much the sparkling might enjoy having a stasis nap like that, it's better for his growing frame and joints to have him on an actual berth. He'd dragged the sparkling berth into the living area that morning, and he carefully places Firefly on it. Several times, the little bot almost came online again, but Optimus hums a soft lullaby to keep him down.

When they're sure that the little bot is firmly in recharge, Ultra pulls Opimus on top of his lap, and kisses him firmly. "I love you."

Optimus laughs softly, "I love you, too." He curls up on his intend's lap, wrapping his arms around the mech's waist. "So much." Ultra runs a servo along his back, resting on his aft. His mech kisses his headfin with a hint of glossa. Pulling away he shakes his head, "Nuh-uh. We have a sparkling recharging _right there_. Not happening."

"He's deep in recharge," Ultra tries to argue, squeezing his aft a bit. "He won't online. And I'm sure he's used to seeing bots kissing."

Despite the way his spark is starting to throb in his chest, Optimus shakes his head again. "There's a difference between kissing and licking my headfins."

Ultra gives him a hopeful look, "So we _can_ make out while he recharges?"

Optimus narrows his optics, "No. He could _wake up_, and I'm not explaining what we were doing."

"I'm sure he already knows," Ultra mutters, but he keeps his touches innocent, and stops trying to pull Optimus into a kiss.

He lays against Ultra's chest, and considers taking a stasis nap of his own. It would be best to stay online in case Firefly onlines and needs him.

He hums softly, and Ultra jumps slightly under him before putting two fingers to his temple, "Yes, Red Alert?" Optimus blinks up at his love, smiling softly in amusement as Ultra looks slightly harassed. "He's down for a nap, actually. ... No. He's on my lap, actually. I thought he'd fall into recharge, too, but this woke him up." Optimus punches Ultra playfully, making his bot look down at him with a soft smile, "Or he was staying up and just wanted to be held. ... Of course he did. I know how to make a mix that sparklings like. ... I suppose I could. No reason not to. ... Okay. You make sure Wheeljack doesn't blow _too much_ up."

Ultra puts down his fingers, and Optimus kisses him lovingly, "Anything important?"

"She just wanted me to show Blurr how to make the mix later, since he's apparently been complaining about how _fussy_ seeker sparklings are."

"I'm sure they'll be very thankful for your helpful trick," Optimus hums, glancing back at Firefly's recharging form before darting up to lick Ultra's headfin.

Ultra's engine revs as the mech chuckles softly, "So it is fine for _you_ to do it, but not me?"

Optimus kisses him, "You licked me _first_, payback is only fair."

"I'm hungry," a voice calls out from behind him, and Optimus turns to look back at Firefly, who is blinking his optics lazily, watching them. "I want Ultra's energon."

Ultra lets his servo slide away from Optimus's aft. "I suppose we should let him fuel up again."

Slipping off of Ultra's lap, he pulls Firefly into his arms, "That seems like the best choice."

Firefly clings to him, murmuring sleepily, "Like Ultra's energon."

Ultra is over by the dispenser, mixing up a cube, and Optimus rubs foreheads with the sparkling. "Well, he's making you more, and plans on showing Blurr how to make it for you."

"Blurr gives yucky energon," Firefly insists, pushing Optimus's head away.

"He'll make this kind for you from now on, I'm sure." And he watches his intended work, admiring the lines of his back, which Optimus doesn't get to see nearly enough of.

Firefly makes a face, but doesn't say anything because Ultra turns and hands the little bot a cube. The mech squeals happily as he starts to drink it down. Setting the sparkling on a chair, Optimus smiles as Ultra kisses him softly, "I think he likes it."

Optimus steals a kiss, "Do you think he would enjoy watching a movie?" He has dozens of them, if not hundreds at this point; all things Sari has brought or left. Most of them still confuse him.

Ultra shrugs, "Most likely."

Firefly finishes his energon, fluttering to Ultra's turrets, "Guns!"

Ultra and Optimus exchange a look, "No guns, Firefly." Optimus reaches up, "Want to see a movie?"

The sparkling frowns at him, "Snow White?"

He shrugs, "If you want to see it again, we can. There are other ones if you don't."

"Snow White," Firefly repeats, looking longingly up at Ultra's turrets. Optimus holds Firefly and puts the movie in, keeping the sparkling on his lap. He couldn't expect to spend all of his time perched up on Ultra's shoulders. He'd outgrow that space at some point, with his Seeker frame.

They all curl up on the couch, watching it easily. Ultra is confused as they go, clearly not very sure _what_ a step mother is, nor why she would want to kill Snow White; or why there is all this singing. But Optimus' intended just sits through it without comment.

For that, Optimus decides he'll sit through one of the incomprehensible plays that Ultra seems to genuinely enjoy. The ones performed in ancient Cybertronian, that Optimus only understands half of. Firefly seems to be enjoying the film again; sparklings _did_ love repetition, much to many a bot's annoyance.

When they finish the movie, Ultra doesn't say anything, just gives the credits a confused look. Optimus pats his mech on the arm, and asks Firefly softly, "Want another movie?"

The sparkling glances at the screen, "Again?"

Repetition. Fantastic. Optimus smiles, "Are you sure you don't want to watch a different one? Sari brought many of them."

"Snow White." The sparkling crosses his arms over his chest defiantly.

He sighs, "If you're certain? She showed me one about a giant robot, if you'd like that one?" He still isn't sure what a beatnik is, but he thinks Firefly may like "The Iron Giant."

The little mech glares at him defiantly, "Snow White."

Optimus sets it to start again, and curls up against Ultra.

The mech is just as visibly confused the second time through the film, which Optimus finds oddly adorable. He leans up and whispers in his audio, "Do you think you can manage to stay a few megacycles after Firefly gets taken home?"

Ultra's optics brighten with interest, and he murmurs back, "I certainly won't say no."

Kissing his intended softly, he smiles, "That'd be nice."

Firefly turns and hisses at them, "Be quiet!"

Biting back a laugh, Optimus pats Firefly's head. "Sorry. We'll stay quiet now." He waits 'til Firefly is watching again and sends Ultra a text. _We distracted him from his very important movie_.

_And we can't have that, can we?_ Ultra runs a finger along his headfin, _I look forward to licking these when we're alone, Optimus._

He blushes brightly, engine reving slightly, and scoots away just a bit, not wanting to disrupt Firefly's movie watching.

Firefly slaps his thigh, "Stay still."

Ultra grins, and sends another message, _You do have a hard time staying still when I nibble on those headfins. I love that._

Optimus twitches again, metaphorically kicking his engines so they stop revving. Giving Ultra a dark look, he sends back, _If you keep doing this, I will remove my invitation for you to stay after. I have a sparkling on my lap._

A smug smile settles itself on Ultra's face, and Optimus barely restrains himself from doing _something_ to get that look gone. He _did_ want Ultra to stay after; just not be so self-satisfied about getting Optimus's engine revving.

Thinking about it, he waits until he knows a dramatic part of the movie is coming up, and sends over, _And I was thinking that I'd be licking YOUR headfins rather than you playing with mine_.

The answering engine roar and Firefly's scolding made him smile.

Ultra pulls Optimus over and kisses him, glossa delving into his mouth, ignoring Firefly's startled squeak from his lap. His optics lock on Optimus's, and he replies, _I'll hold you to that. You make it so very difficult to behave_.

Optimus settles back down slowly, petting Firefly's wing to soothe him and get him paying attention to the film once more.

By the time Sunstorm, Bumblebee, and Blurr return, they've watched the movie several more times, and Optimus is recharging on Ultra. Starting awake at the knock, he sits up, rubbing his optics. Ultra gets off the couch, letting them in, and Firefly launches out of his lap straight into Sunstorm's arms, chattering about what he did that sol.

Standing up, Optimus stretches out as Bee asks, "Park?"

Firefly immediately launches into a screechy version of one of the songs from Snow White, and Optimus cringes. "We took him out to play with the other sparklings for a while. He enjoyed himself, and kissed every sparkling that he could."

Instead of paying attention to his answer, Bumblebee is staring in horror at Firefly. "Bossbot, do you hate me or somethin'?"

Astonished, Optimus shakes his head, "No, of course not!"

"Then why the slag did you let Firefly watch Disney films?"

Optimus looks at Firefly, then at Ultra. Ultra, cowardbot he is, carefully pulls Blurr to the side and explains how to mix the energon for the sparkling. Looking at Bumblebee, he straightens up, and says, very clearly, "Sari is the one that did it first."

"Frag." Bumblebee rubs his helmet. "He's going to be singing that for _decacycles_." Sunstorm, after a few repetitions, has apparently picked up the song lyrics, and begins singing along with Firefly. Bumblebee winces. "Worst sparklingsitters _ever_."

Optimus coughs behind his servo, "But Lockdown will most likely be showing you the various pictures he took of Firefly in the park." He sighs softly, "We even ended up painting more elite wings on all the sparklings there." He gives his beloved a slightly dirty look. "Even if Ultra didn't impress on the ones he painted how important those wings are."

"Aw, bossbot," Bumblebee whines, "they gave _me_ Elite wings. I'm not thinkin' it means as much as it used to. I mean-"

Opitmus cuts him off, "You _earned_ them, Bumblebee."

Bee just looks at the floor, rubbing the back of his helmet, "I was just _there_, doing what anyone would do."

Putting a servo on the minibot's shoulder, he shakes his head, "You fought more than any of the bots that came after us, Bee. Don't make light of it."

Bee rolls his optics, "So you keep saying." Blurr returns to Bee's side, thanking Ultra as he does so, and Bee straightens up, "Okay, we got everything we need?"

"Yes, my gorgeous little Bee," Sunstorm coos, scooping him up in his other arm. He bows theatrically to Optimus, still with his minibot and his sparkling held tight. "We are eternally grateful, dearest Optimus. Please, anytime you wish to take care of Firefly in the future, only let us know, and we will be delighted to turn him over to you for a solar cycle."

Optimus watches them leave, and when the door closes, he leans against Ultra, saying, "I can _never_ tell when that bot is being sarcastic."

Ultra puts an arm around his shoulders, "I have even less practice than you, Optimus. He could have been honest, he _was_ singing with Firefly. ... Now." His mech's arm drops lower, and drags Optimus closer, pulling him up, holding his aft, "I believe you had something in mind for us now that we're alone?"

His engine revs, and Optimus shifts up so he can get his mouth up against Ultra's audio. "You mean this?" He drags his glossa up Ultra's headfin, nipping the tip of it. "Was that what you had in mind?"

Ultra's engine revs loudly, sending a vibration through the both of their frames. "You could say that, Optimus."

Sucking on it for a moment, Optimus licks the fin teasingly, "Are you going to hold me in the middle of the room, or are you going to get into a more comfortable position?" He laps at the base of the fin, using a servo to play with the other.

* * *

Had he not had so much recent experience standing up in front of the Council, Optimus might have been fidgeting nervously. The Bronze Wheel had _always_ been out of his price range for affordable theater. This had never bothered Optimus for the sole reason that he had never had any desire to _see_ any of the plays they produced. Primus, he had the horrible suspicion that he'd enjoy watching the paint flake off of his own armor more than whatever it was they'd agreed to watch with Arcee and Ratchet.

He can only half understand it, since it is entirely in ancient Cybertronian. He watches as a cyclebot jumps through a fake window, and the police bots scream something about catching the escaping carbot. He's not exactly sure why they are claiming what is obviously a cyclebot is a carbot; it isn't like you can't find a carbot just walking down the street, being one of the more _common_ models. The "carbot" makes a loud speech that he's fairly certain was the mech searching for his sparkmate. He's even more confused when the femme is refered to as a mech, and the "carbot" is referred to as a femme.

Venting a quiet sigh, he glances over at Arcee and Ratchet. Arcee is as entranced as Ultra is, but Ratchet looks puzzled. At least Optimus is not alone in his confusion. When Ultra gasps audibly, Optimus turns back to examine the stage—and there are three mechs lying in a pool of horribly fake energon. How the frag had that happened in the nanokliks he'd had his optics off the action?

Fine. He's just going to be confused the rest of the time, since he apparently missed some pivotal scene. Not that it would have helped, he's sure.

Ultra was able to arrange a private box for them, and Optimus appreciates that the bots here are too high class to gawk at them. Much. He'd noticed the tabloid bot _again_, before they'd taken their seats.

He wonders how a _tabloid_ bot even managed to get in here, but ignores the thought to return to being horribly confused by the play. The "femme carbot" is wandering around on stage, talking about... something. He can't understand a single word he is saying. The mech is talking far too fast, and using words he doesn't know.

He glances out the corner of his optic just as Ratchet is doing the same. The medicbot shrugs helplessly, and he does the same in return. If anything, Ratchet is _more_ confused than he is, since the other bot doesn't even have a small translating patch installed.

Composing a text, he sends it to Ratchet, even though it's considered rude to do so while in a setting like this. _Did you happen to see what killed those three bots? I missed it_.

Ratchet coughs, and Arcee gives him a narrow-opticked look, clearly suspicious. It's not until she's entrenched in the play again before Optimus gets a reply. _Sorry, kid. I THINK it was some act of Primus. They just sorta toppled over, offlined_.

_This play makes no sense._ He watches as a carbot jumps to the forefront, painted grey with fake long limbs that have a wheel on the servo and peds. The "dead" bot wanders around, pretending to eat each of the fallen bots. It is with dawning horror that he realizes who that is supposed to be. _Thank Primus that Sari isn't here. She'd be horribly upset that Oil Slick is being treated like this_, he sends to Ratchet.

The medic bot sends back instantly, _I don't even LIKE the guy, and I feel pretty bad just WATCHING it_.

The play continues, and Optimus's intakes hitch with shock when a minibot comes out, painted yellow, with a large blue circle on his chest. The minibot runs over to Oil Slick and jumps up on him, kissing him lewdly.

Ultra's servo squeezes his tightly, and he's hit with a sudden text, _Slag it, Optimus, I'm sorry. The reviews NEVER mentioned this._

The minibot is held in Oil Slick's arms as various bots representing the team and a few other notable bots show up, and Optimus stands up. "I can't watch this."

He turns around and leaves, not caring about what's going on in the play, while Ultra, Arcee, and Ratchet follow him closely. They all walk past various bots, not talking to any of them until they get a manager bot practically jumping in front of them, "I'm _so sorry_. If I had known, I would have told you, but the director just said something about surprises and wouldn't let _anyone_ see!"

Optimus raises his servos to cut the bot off, "It's not your fault, I'm sure. I just can't stay and watch." He rubs his fingers against Ultra's. "We should go."

The bot jumps in front of them again, "No, please, at least let me refund your tickets. And offer you free tickets to another show, of your choosing. We have _dozens_ of other directors and playwrights here, and I will _personally_ preview their scripts and performances."

He _wants_ to refuse, but he knows that he _can't_ without seeming like the worst bot on Cybertron. Instead, he smiles kindly, and tugs Ultra to the front, making _him_ answer for them. Ultra kneels down, so he's closer to the manager's level, "If you feel like it is needed, we can. But we do not expect it."

"I _insist_," the manager wrings his servos nervously. "I'm personally offended by the play that we all inadvertently watched. The director and playwright are never going to work in this theater house again, I _promise_ you that!"

Arcee crosses her arms over her chest. "They'd better not."

"I absolutely assure you it will _never_ happen again." The manager sends them all his frequency, "Just contact me when you decide to come again."

They all thank him quietly, and leave. Optimus is immensely irritated to catch a flash of that tabloid bot following them for a moment before taking off.

They part ways with Arcee and Ratchet halfway back, promising to meet them again soon, for a better date. Ultra drives alongside Optimus all the way to his apartment, kissing him outside the main doors. "It wouldn't do for me to come up with you this late in the evening." He smiles, "I'll see you tomorrow, Optimus."

The truckbot waves at him, and only enters his building when he can no longer see Ultra's lights. The securitybot gives him a concerned look. "You're back awfully early, sir."

Optimus shakes his head, "The play was changed part way through into something truly offensive without the manager or anyone else's knowledge. We decided it was best to leave, and reschedule the date for another time."

The securitybot frowns, "I'm sorry, sir. I hope your next one is a lot better. No one likes a date that doesn't go as planned."

Smiling in a friendly manner, Optimus nods, "Yes. We hope the next goes more according to plan." He wants to get a decent amount of recharge. "I'm heading up."

The securitybot waves, "Have a good night, sir."

Optimus waves behind him, giving the securitybot a small smile as he steps into the elevator. When he gets to his room, he drinks a single cube of energon as he settles down to watch the news, and see how badly out of proportion they blow the walk out.

* * *

It is a few solar cycles later, and he's getting ready for the makeup date. He makes a face at the mirror, kind of irritated how a scuff just isn't coming out on his helmet, when there's a knock at the door.

He resigns himself to having that scuff for the entirety of the date, because Ultra has decided to show up _early_. Optimus tucks his polishing cloth into his subspace, and commands the door open. He smiles, "Ultra, I wasn't expecting you so-" he stops. The bot in the hallway is _not_ Ultra Magnus. It's the cursed tabloid bot that's been stalking them. He hardens his gaze, "I'm not doing a report for you, if that's what you're after. How did you get past security?"

Optimus calls up his com to complain to the securitybot staff, and his intakes hitch. His com is down.

The bright red and blue cyclebot smiles at him, but there's something off about it, something that has Optimus's servo twitching towards the subspace storage of his axe. "Security didn't put up much of a fight. I practically walked right through."

He starts sending out texts to his team that call for help as the cyclebot pulls out a sword. He yanks out his axe, blocking the blow aimed straight at his spark. "That is _doubtful_."

The bot aims for his head, "It was pathetically simple, he only saw my colors, and just let me on by. Not even asking where I was going, you'd think he just wants you dead."

Optimus gets the axe up in time to deflect the attack, but the sword manages to slide cleanly through one of his headfins, severing it. The cyclebot laughs, loud and harsh, and lunges at him. Unfortunately for his attacker, Optimus has suffered _far worse_ battle wounds, and he knocks the sword out of his servos. He winces when the sword crashes directly into the shelf of videos that Sari had carefully reorganized only a decacycle ago.

Energon is leaking down the side of his helmet, but it's a minor leak, and it's not getting in his optics, so he can safely ignore it. "What can you possibly hope to gain from this?" he asks, swinging at the bot with the intent to disable him. "Surrender now, and the courts will be lenient with you."

The cyclebot hisses, and one of his arms transforms into a gun, which he aims at Optimus, "You're responsible for ending this war!" Optimus dodges several shots, deflecting the ones he can't avoid with his axe. His couch breaks in half and shatters spectacularly loudly. "I'm going to get revenge for Megatron!"

Optimus swings at the muzzle of the gun, hoping to cut it off, missing just barely, "Revenge? Last I heard, he was hiding _someplace_ with Starscream. Sari said something," he dodges a shot at his head, and it shatters his mirror, "about him having a sparkling."

The cyclebot shrieks, shooting wildly, "_Sari_? That _techno-organic_ whore?" Optimus moves the fight to a different room as the mech continues his ranting, "She's one of the reasons the Decepticons lost! When I take care of you, she's going to be next!"

"You're not going to get a chance," he swears, dodging more shots that manage to break one of the few pieces of art that Optimus had kept in the apartment. He'd liked that picture. It was of very pretty crystals. The bot snarls and lunges at him, and Optimus takes the opportunity presented to him, one he'd had to practice thousands of times with his academy trainers and had used frequently on the bots on Earth. He pulls a pair of stasis cuffs from his subspace, twists to avoid the bot's attack, and snaps the cuff on one of the bot's wrists to debilitate him.

The bot wobbles unsteadily before falling on his face. He snaps the other cuff on the mech's other arm, and drags the bot back to his living room. He wants to kick the bot in the head, but refrains, knowing it is better not to do such things to a disabled opponent.

Dropping the bot in the middle of the floor, he picks up his sliced headfin, and frowns at the broken mirror. Pulling out a new one, he starts to work on the patch job when Ultra rushes through the still open door, "Optimus! You're okay!"

Optimus glances back at him, and then returns to welding his headfin back on. Flicking the welder off, he frowns. That was . . . a horrible patch job, to be honest. The fin was completely crooked, and Ratchet was going to yell at him. "I'm alright, yes." He gestures at the disabled bot on the floor. "Got the bot responsible cuffed up nicely."

Ultra rushes over to him and pulls him into a tight embrace, before pushing him back at arm's length to study him for any injuries he might be hiding. Aside from a few scorch lines where shots narrowly missed, and the headfin, Optimus is fine.

Ultra, on the other hand, has energon and oil on him. Optimus freezes, "The securitybot?"

Ultra nods, "He's missing a leg, and had been dragged into the back office. I grabbed a medic bot off the street after doing a quickpatch." Optimus pulls Ultra into a hug, letting his intended hold him close, as he continues, "After that, I called up more medic bots, and finally Autobot command." Ultra pauses, kissing him softly, "I'm glad you're not hurt too badly."

There's the sound of cursing as the cyclebot onlines, "Not from lack of trying!"

Ultra looks over at the mech, to Optimus. Letting go of him, his beloved walks over to the cyclebot, and kicks the bot in the head hard enough to offline the mech again.

Optimus pulls Ultra away from the mech. "Ultra!" he raises his voice. "He's in _stasis cuffs_." He pulls a mouthclamp from his subspace and attaches it on the captive bot. "Primus, you of all bots should know you don't abuse prisoners like that, even if they _deserve_ it."

His intended watches him, "Exceptions can be made in extraordinary circumstances." He looks at the bot again. "Optimus," he starts, waiting for Optimus to look at him, "do you _always_ have stasis cuffs and mouthclamps in your subspace?"

Optimus gives the other mech a confused look, "... you don't?"

Ultra opens his mouth, and seems at a loss for words. His intended is saved from answering by all of Optimus's team suddenly showing up in rapid succession. Prowl is there first, actually coming in _through the window_, holding his throwing stars as he ninja-rolls in, looking confused at the lack of violence. Bee is next, weapons charged and obviously having just run up the stairs with Blurr. While Ratchet comes in a little more sedately with Arcee, Jazz, Lockdown, and Sunstorm from the elevator.

They all stare at the stasis-cuffed bot on the floor, still offline from the kick Ultra had delivered. "So, you handled it on your own, kid?" Lockdown asks, patting Optimus on the shoulder.

Optimus ignores him, turning to Ratchet, who already looks like he's about to yell at him for the patchjob on his headfin. "Ratchet, the securitybot was severely damaged. Are his repairs finished yet?"

"Slagging no, Optimus," Ratchet grumbles, "seeing as none of us knew if you were even _online_ still. I'm going back down for him, and _you_ are going to see me for that headfin after we get the _both_ of you to the hospital."

Optimus nods, "Well, let's head down, then. I'll fill out a report at the hospital. Where is Sari?"

Lockdown picks up the offline cyclebot as they walk out, and Bee answers, "She's down in the lobby with Cyclonus, helping out with Turboshadow."

Locking the door after them, Optimus gives the minibot a confused look, "Turboshadow? Is that the-"

Bee gives him a exasperated look, "The securitybot, yes. Do you just... not pay attention?"

Prowl chuckles, "That's rich coming from you, Bumblebee."

The minibot huffs at them, and is promptly scooped up by Sunstorm. "My little Bee pays attention when he needs to," the Seeker croons, kissing one of his tiny horns.

Rethinking an earlier opinion, Optimus decides that it is a _good_ thing that Ultra never scoops him up like that. It's extremely undignified.

They all file into the elevator, bickering back and forth about Bee's ability to observe until they head out to the lobby. Turboshadow is being gently put into an ambulancebot, while Sari pats his servo comfortingly, when they get there. One of the medic bots takes one look at Optimus's headfin, and opens his mouth to say something when Ratchet cuts the bot off, "He can drive there himself, I'll be there to watch him as he does."

Optimus transforms without any trouble—the damage he's sustained is minimal, and really, he doesn't need a full scan at this point. He just needs his headfin repaired, and he can buff out the other burns without much effort on his own. Nevertheless, he's watched closely by his team, surrounded by them as they drive. It warms his spark and irritates the frag out of him at the same time.

He transforms back into bot mode when they get to the hospital, letting Ratchet drag him off to a room. Pulling out a datapad, he starts to work on writing up the report while the rest of his team flutters around him like unsettled birds. He just ducks down when Ratchet yanks on his head to fix his headfin, not even paying attention as the mech grumbles at him.

A servo takes the datapad from him, and Optimus looks up to complain, only to find Ultra reading it. "You're filing your report already, Optimus?"

"Of course I am," he steals the pad back to finish. He wrote a report after he'd slagging offlined. Of course he was writing his report now.

Ratchet shoos Ultra away, "I'm working here. He's done this while in worse repair, don't worry about it."

He doesn't see Ultra's upset look, "What do you mean? Is this like when he talked about coming back from the Well of All Sparks?"

He can _hear_ the roll in Ratchet's optics as the bot responds, "No. More like how he insisted on writing a report while missing an arm."

"It was a clean injury," Optimus protests, "and there was no reason not to get the report finished while the incident was fresh in my processor. You reattached the arm successfully, and I got the report done. It was a win-win."

Ultra and Ratchet both stare at him. He doesn't understand it.

He returns to the report, ignoring the feelings of pain as Ratchet takes off the numbing program, and those of pleasure as Ultra pulls him into his lap. He unconsciously hides the report as Ultra tries to read it over his shoulder, while still writing it.

When Ultra reaches to tip the datapad so he _can_ read it, Optimus knocks his servo away irritably, "No, Starscream." His intended freezes against him, and Optimus reviews what he'd just said. Slag. "Sorry. I'm just a bit distracted."

Tugging Ultra down, he kisses his beloved. Ultra wraps both arms around him, murmuring, "I'm so sorry I didn't come earlier, Optimus."

Optimus tilts the report a bit so they can both see it, "It's fine, I'm with you now."

Ratchet shakes his head, before giving Ultra a polishing cloth. "Make yourself useful and clean him up while he works. Optimus isn't going to stop until he finishes his report." Ultra stares bemusedly at the cloth, before beginning to carefully clean the truckbot. Optimus shivers.

He wants to shy away from the touch, reminded of how Starscream used to clean him, but forces himself to stay still, since it _is_ Ultra. After a moment, he returns to the report. He's almost finished when Cyclonus wanders into the room, looking halfway lost and all uncaring. He puts down the datapad, "Are you okay, Cyclonus?"

The jet blinks at him blankly, "Sari said to inform you that she is with Turboshadow, and you are all to join her when you are well enough. I am to show you how to get there." The mech sits on the floor in the corner, staring at the wall, before anyone can respond.

Ratchet gives the jet a strange look. "We'll be done in just a klik."

Cyclonus makes no sign to acknowledge that he heard or cared about what Ratchet said. Typical behavior for Cyclonus, really.

Optimus is starting to get comfortable and even _enjoy_ Ultra's polishing when Ratchet announces that he's finished, and they should head up to join the rest of them. He's disappointed that he hasn't finished his report yet.

Cyclonus stands up swiftly, and walks out of the room, not even looking behind to make sure they're following. He shoves the datapad into his sub-space, and slips off Ultra's lap to go after the jetbot. He makes sure to grab the larger mech's servo as they walk, though; unwilling to let his beloved think he's ignoring him.

Warmth radiates up his arm from the touch; Ultra is a reassuring presence at his side, and Optimus is glad to have him here. They stand together in the elevator, and the truckbot hopes the securitybot is making a solid recovery. Slag, if his company doesn't give him a raise after this, Optimus is going to give the bot a pay-raise himself.

They get to the room easily, and Sari is sitting at the edge of the berth, holding Turboshadow's servo gently. The securitybot waves at them weakly, "You didn't have to come, you know."

Sari gives him a dirty look, "Like hell they didn't. I told Cyclonus to bring them, so they had _better_ come."

She squeezes his servo, and Optimus notes the faint blush on the securitybot's cheeks. Turboshadow looks at Optimus with a solemn expression on his face. "I'm so sorry, sir. I tried to stop him, but he knocked me offline before I could reach the alarm."

Walking over to the mech, he puts a servo on his shoulder. "You tried your best." Giving the bot a smile, he continues, "He was tired when he got to my room, I imagine it would would have been much harder than it already was if you hadn't gotten to him first."

"I appreciate the kindness, sir, but I know I didn't help much." Turboshadow rubs the back of his head. "You fought _Megatron_ and came out on top."

"Any bot can be lethal with under the right circumstances, Turboshadow," Optimus says, gently. "He had the element of surprise on his side. If he'd been luckier, he could have offlined me. Particularly if he'd had no opposition on the way in."

The securitybot's blush deepens before he murmurs, "If you say so, sir."

Optimus smiles, "Of course I do."

They watch as Sari snaps her fingers, and Cyclonus seems to materialize next to her. She digs into the jetbot's sub-space to pull out a cube of energon, then hands it over to Turboshadow, "Drink this. AllSpark says you're starving."

He takes a sip and his optics go wide. "I can't drink this! It's far too fine a grade." He pushes the cube towards her, and she pushes it back. "I'll be fine with the medical-grade they offer here."

"You'll drink it," she insists, "or I'll have Optimus pour it down your throat."

Optimus gives her a shocked look, "Sari! I wouldn't do that to him!"

She gives him a calculating look, "You're right. I'll have _Lockdown_ do it."

Turboshadow looks over to the bounty hunter, who gives the securitybot a smile that feels distinctly disturbing, and drinks the energon with no further complaints. Sari shoves another cube in his servo shortly after he finishes.

"An Elite will be along later to take your account of the incident," Optimus warns him. "We want to put the mech behind bars for this."

Sari scowls, and pats Turboshadow's arm, prompting another flush. "Should have offlined him for what he did to the both of you."

Optimus frowns at her, "_Sari_, it is always better to avoid a death if you can."

She rolls her eyes, but doesn't say anything. Turboshadow shifts nervously, looking at everyone in his room. "Did you need anything else, sir?"

"Only to make sure that you are doing well. And to let you know that all of your medical costs will be paid for by the Elite Guard." Turbowshadow makes as if to protest, and Optimus raises a servo to stop him. "I would have it no other way, for a mech who was injured in the act of saving my life."

The securitybot looks like he wants to sink into the berth and hide. "If you say so, sir," comes the whispered reply.

Patting the mech's shoulder, Optimus smiles down at the bot. "You put your life on the line. Such bravery is to be commended."

"I was only doing my job, sir," Turboshadow says, ducking his head down.

Ultra steps forward and clasps Turboshadow's servo. "A job that asked you to risk yourself to save Optimus. We are all thankful for your efforts."

Turboshadow looks at Ultra's servo on his, and glances from it to Ultra's face, back and forth several times as he talks, "I only did what anyone would have done in my place, sir."

"And bots are alive today because of your efforts," Optimus says. "He had planned on going after Sari. Many bots would have hidden themselves and tried not to make a scene. That you did not speaks of your courage. I won't let you belittle that."

Turboshadow glances over at Sari, and the faint blush is back, "I'm glad I managed to slow him down then, sir."

Sari tilts her head, frowning, "Okay, everyone. He needs to sleep. Unless you have something important to say, get out." Optimus is about to open his mouth, but Sari gives him a sharp look. "He gets that you're proud of him. He's also clearly trying to hide from your praise. Out." Everyone files out of the room, leaving only the techo-organic and Cyclonus, and Optimus can faintly hear Sari say to Turboshadow, "And you have another cube to finish before we leave as well," before the door shuts behind Prowl.

Optimus slumps a bit. "My apartment is a mess. Any volunteers to help me with it?"

He's pulled into Ultra's arms. "You can clean it tomorrow. You can stay with me tonight."

Leaning against his beloved, Optimus looks at Lockdown, "Is _that_ allowed?"

The bounty hunter gives him a slightly disturbing grin, but not the worst one he's had directed at him. "Only if you're in the guest room, Optimus. But, yeah, this is a good time to start phasing you over to Ultra's home."

He gives Lockdown a sharp look. He doesn't like that they just _assume_ he'll be moving in with Ultra. "Of course." Optimus smiles up at Ultra. "I would love to stay tonight."

Ultra leans down, arms wrapped around him lovingly, and kisses him softly. "Should we wait for Sari, or would she be overly irritated at us for doing so?"

Optimus shrugs, "We can just ask her."

He's about to slip out of Ultra's grip when Arcee walks over to Turboshadow's room, and looks in. There's a muffled conversation, and Arcee closes the door, "She says that if we want to stay, we can, but it may take awhile. She's going to stay with him until he falls into recharge. She doesn't mind if we leave."

Bumblee, Ratchet, and their partners choose to stay, but Optimus needs to finish his reports and get some recharge. He's fairly certain that Ratchet slipped some sort of sedative into his system, because he's feeling much more tired than he should be after such a short and simple conflict.

* * *

**Please Review**

That is all for today. More tomorrow. Vivienne is still the reason this is even out. Visit her in my favorite author's pane.


	5. Chapter 5

I should possibly up the rating of this fic. I mean, Sari swears all the time, and the themes are getting a little up there.

So, yeah, updating the rating after I post this :V

Also, porn in this we cut out. You can check it out on my journal.

Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers.

* * *

Optimus and Ultra head to Ultra's house, and when they get there, Optimus pulls out his report to continue working on it as he walks in. Ignoring Ultra's resigned look, he drops onto the couch to write. By the time he's finished, Ultra has set up the guest room, and is standing next to him with a cube of energon.

Optimus sips it and smiles. It's not utterly ridiculous expensive energon. "Thank you, Ultra."

His love sits beside him.

"Are you finished with your reports?"

"I am." He squeaks when he's pulled suddenly onto Ultra's lap.

Ultra kisses him softly and lovingly, holding him tightly, "I was _worried_ about you, Optimus."

Relaxing into the hold, he sighs, "He was very amateur, not half as experienced as bots I'm used to fighting."

Ultra pets his back, "You shouldn't have had to fight him at all." He kisses the headfin that had been replaced. "I hope this stage of our courtship advances quickly, so you can stay here, with me."

Optimus presses his servos to Ultra's chest. "Why do you assume I'll move in with you?"

Ultra gives him a confused and slightly sparkbroken look, "You don't _want_ to live with me? Are you calling our bonding off?"

His optics widen in shock, "What? No! Of course I want to live with you!" He pulls Ultra down into a kiss, arms around the larger mech's neck, and holding him tightly. "I want to know why everyone assumes I'm moving in with _you_, and you aren't moving in with _me_."

"I'm the Magnus, Optimus," Ultra reminds him, cupping his aft in a way that has Optimus's spark pulsing in response. "I am expected to live here. I have to have a certain level of security." He kisses the smaller bot, and Optimus offlines his optics briefly. "I have a vacation home on an outlying planet, but it would be impractical for us to stay there."

Optimus rests his head against Ultra's chest, the sound of the bot's spark warm and soothing, "I guess." He interlaces his finger's in Ultra's, "I just hoped for something smaller. Something that didn't make me feel so utterly insignificant."

"You'll adapt to it, Optimus," Ultra promises, amusement clear in his voice. "You don't think I was a bit overwhelmed when I was first appointed Magnus and given this place? I felt like a loose screw rattling around in an empty can. But you adapt."

Optimus laughs softly, squeezing Ultra's servo in his, and kissing him gently. "I can," he whispers softly against his beloved's lips before he returns to resting his head on Ultra's chest. Absently petting the back of Ultra's neck, he murmurs, "I love you."

Ultra kisses the top of his head, rubbing his back, "I love you, too."

"It's going to be hard to recharge tonight," Optimus admits, "with you only a room or two away from me. I'm going to lay on the berth and end up imagining you."

Ultra seems to be fighting back laughter, "Oh? Trying to tempt me already?"

Optimus thinks back on what he'd said and flushes. "Not like that. I mean, I _do_ think of you like that, but that's not what I meant. I was just ... imagining recharging in your arms. It would be nice."

Ultra smiles down at him, rubbing foreheads, "I look forward to that, as well."

Optimus feels more than hears Ultra's engine revving at the thought, and kisses the larger bot, "I like you holding me."

"I enjoy holding you," Ultra confides, before dragging his glossa up Optimus's headfin, nibbling on the tip.

Optimus's engine revs in response, and he scrapes his chest against Ultra's.

He gasps happily as Ultra nibbles the entire length of his headfin, servo massaging his aft. "I could do this to you all solar cycle," his mech murmurs into his audio before returning to licking.

Whining, Optimus rubs against him a bit harder, finding it impossible to resist. Primus, it feels so good, having Ultra play with him like this. His spark heats up steadily, until his plates are burning hot against Ultra's chest.

Ultra sucks on the fin, glossa running along the entire length, and Optimus has to pull away. Letting go of the larger bot's servo, he rests both servos on Ultra's chest, careful to avoid the sparkplates. "No more, Ultra. I need to cool off."

Engine revving, Ultra touches Optimus's sparkplates lightly. "You _are_ running hot." He dims his optics and rubs gently, just once, before pulling his servos away.

Optimus's optics flicker at the touch, and he curls his on his side against Ultra. "I'm looking forward to when we're done with the courting."

Ultra kisses him, and then vents a long, slow sigh. "As am I. I'm not entirely certain it is healthy to self-service as often as I have been needing to this past stellar cycle or so."

Leaning against him, Optimus directs his fans to cycle air faster, wanting to cool off as quickly as possible.

Ultra slips down so he's lying on the couch, Optimus on top of him. Fingers run up and down Optimus's backstrut, and the larger bot murmurs, "Do you think we could recharge like this here? Or would that be against the rules?"

Looking down at Ultra, he smiles softly, and gently pets his intended's helmet crest, "I don't really know. I bet Sari would say we couldn't at all." He pauses, fingers drifting to Ultra's mouth, and getting licked, "I don't know what Lockdown would say."

"He would say 'absolutely yes,'" Ultra hums, kissing Optimus thoroughly, squeezing his aft. "And he would encourage us to do more."

Optimus licks his lips, "I don't think he would say _that_."

"You don't _know_, though." Ultra's tone is light and teasing, making Optimus lean down and kiss him again, glossa delving. When he pulls away, Ultra rubs their chests together, "I would like to spend the night recharging with you, if we could."

As much as he'd love . . . recharging with Ultra, it is still too soon. He shakes his head and pushes up off of him. "That is a terrible idea, Ultra." He smiles. "I think you should show me the guest room I'll be recharging in tonight. Alone."

Ultra pouts at him, and he kisses him softly before standing on the floor. His mech joins him, grabbing his servo, "If that's what you want, Optimus."

Leaning against the larger bot, he nods, "I think that would be for the best. You will, of course, be expected to kiss me good night."

The room he's supposed to recharge in is ... extravagant. Large. He can tell just from looking at it that the berth is more expensive than his entire apartment. But he can deal with that later. He turns to Ultra, and leans up for a kiss. "I hope you recharge well."

Ultra pulls him into his arms, holding him as he's kissed, servos around him tightly, and glossa delving. By the end of it,Optimus is venting heavily, and Ultra is leaning against the wall. Slipping out of his intended's arms, he murmurs, "With a goodnight kiss like that, how can I not?" before stepping into the room, and shutting the door firmly.

Primus, it was going to be a long night. Optimus makes his way to the berth, prodding it experimentally. There is a slight current running through it, and it synchronizes with his systems, making him feel drowsy. He wonders where the off switch is.

Searching for one in vain, he gives up after a klik, and lays down. It is possibly the most well made berth he's ever used, and if he wasn't so revved, he'd already be recharging just from how comfortable it is. Shifting slightly, he looks around for a moment before cracking open his plates. It isn't like _Ultra_ won't be doing this, and the very thought of Ultra with his spark exposed makes him keen with want.

It will be very nice to overload to the thought of Ultra thinking of him. He smiles, and opens entirely.

* * *

It is very hard to force himself to get out of the berth in the morning. The current still running through him makes him want to curl up and offline his optics until he falls into recharge again, but he manages it somehow.

Optimus examines himself in the mirror and gives himself a quick polish. He wants to look nice for Ultra, even if most of the paint streaks he'd found were Ultra's blue and white. The room is still slagging enormous. The berth was large enough for the both of them, and they would have had plenty of room to roll around.

He flushes and turns his thoughts away.

Stepping out of the room, he sends a text message, _Ultra?_

The reply is instantaneous, making him smile, _Yes, Optimus?_

He starts down the hall, _Where are you right now?_

_I'm in the washrack, actually. Where are you?_

Optimus flushes, imagining solvents pouring over Ultra's frame, slicking his armor. _Trying to find the dispenser you used that gave me decent energon._

_That was actually taken from the securitybots' common area. It would be better if you used one of mine._

Optimus sighs, he's not really surprised about that, but is disappointed. _Do you have one that isn't modified too badly?_

_Try the ones in the guest rooms in the back hall. I don't believe they've been used, or updated, in vorns_.

Optimus sends him a thank you, and seeks out energon that doesn't make him feel guilty when he fuels up. It is an utter waste of resources to triple-filter energon. Or to add minerals for flavor that have no nutritional content.

The room he finds is covered in dust, and he taps the dispenser questioningly. It onlines easily, and he gets a cube of energon without _too much_ unneeded expense. It is almost simple, what he gets in the cube, and he slips a few in his sub-space, since it is significantly less refined than what he gets in his own dispenser.

He eventually finds his way out to the common area, and he takes a seat on the couch, waiting for Ultra to finish washing himself. They can go to work together today, and finish the mess of paperwork for the incident of the previous solar cycle.

It warms his spark, being able to go _with_ Ultra, instead of having to wait until he reaches the office to see him.

He sips on the energon with his optics offline, so is pleasantly surprised by Ultra slipping arms down his chest and kissing him softly, "I see you found a dispenser that's to your liking."

"It's nice," Optimus says, only to have the rest of his words muffled by Ultra's glossa.

Ultra licks his lips when he pulls back. "A bit plain. I don't see what you enjoy about the simple blends. I enjoy variety."

"I took a few more cubes for later, for me."

Ultra runs a servo along his face, "That's fine, Optimus. Anything in here is yours as well."

Optimus leans into the touch. "We should get going, or we'll be late."

The larger mech seems reluctant to let go of him. "We could call in sick."

"No, Ultra, we cannot." Optimus slaps his chest gently in reprimand. "We have reports. We can't call in sick just to ... cuddle."

Ultra's arms slip down to his waist, and tug him a little closer, "Are you sure? I can't see why not."

He stops himself from curling against his mech's chest, "Sari and Lockdown will be very disappointed in us if we do."

"Our chaperons are so very troublesome," Ultra complains, lifting Optimus up to kiss his sparkplates once. "But I would hate to accidentally end our courtship so soon."

Optimus' engine revs, and he pushes Ultra back. "You'll be lucky if the AllSpark doesn't tattle on you for _that_."

Ultra tilts his head, and a little bit later, shrugs his shoulders, "No com call to yell at me. I'm certain it was fine."

Optimus raises an optic ridge, and starts to walk out of the room, "Or she could be recharging, and the AllSpark wants her to yell at you in person. That seems much more likely to me."

"It's so hard to resist you," Ultra complains again, and follows behind him. "This courtship demands a willpower I am not entirely sure I possess anymore."

Optimus looks back over his shoulder, "You'll be fine. You can wait a while longer before you have my ... my spark." He flushes and looks forward again.

All he gets for an answer is the roar of Ultra's engine. Rolling his optics, he steps outside, and transforms. Ultra transforms next to him, and they head to work.

* * *

Optimus shifts on the couch nervously. He's not sure that agreeing to this seeker party was a good idea. He'd wanted to respect their culture, and to demonstrate the strong bonds he had with the fliers, but he hadn't really had much of a choice. They'd shown up at his apartment on his day off, and pushed their way inside, informing him that it was their duty to help him pass this vital point in his life.

Skywarp is sitting next to him, and giving him questioning looks. He isn't sure if that's because the seeker wants to hold him like Scatterstar or because he doesn't have a cube of high grade in his servos. As if to answer that thought, the cowardly bot scoots a little closer, and presses a full cube into his fingers. The bot pats him almost curiously on his head, "You should drink that. It will help."

He takes a tiny sip to appease the seeker, and sets the cube down. He has no intention of getting overcharged while the seekers are around him.

Sunstorm stands in front of him and hooks something up to his vid screen, turning to face Optimus with a cough. "It has come to our attention that you are a virgin."

Optimus blinks. _What?_

Sunstorm pulls up a picture of a spark on the screen. Seeing where this is going, he picks up the cube, and downs half of it in a single gulp; it makes the seeker pointing out various parts, and explaining how they feel, significantly more tolerable and less embarrassing.

"Neither you nor the esteemed Ultra Magnus have claws," Sunstorm pulls Thundercracker over, and points out the bot's servo, "so you will be unable to reach the _back_ of the spark."

He offlines his optics, and Skywarp pokes him. "You can't escape it like that. They'll start sending it as databursts if you do."

Optimus onlines his optics and tries to focus on anything other than the diagrams labeling a spark, which appears to have been hand-drawn by the seekers themselves, as it has various 'sensitive' parts labeled out in scratchy, awful handwriting.

"I assume that you have self-serviced before, noble Optimus?"

Giving the seeker a horrified nod, he drinks the last of his cube. He's quickly handed another one, and he can barely tell that this one is even stronger.

"Good, then we can skip the informational video on self service." Sunstorm looks at him intently. "Or perhaps we should not. Do you find your self-service to be satisfying and fulfilling? I am sure you are quite skilled at it, being a noble Autobot, but there is always room for improvement."

He can feel his spark trying to retreat, and he forces himself to say, "I'm fine. No need for the video."

Sunstorm looks at him hard, optics searching his entire frame suspiciously before shaking his head, "No. I think you need it, adorable Optimus."

"No, really, I don't-" he shuts his mouth in horror as a video starts up. It's delicate little Windburner, the bot who was in charge of staff and rooms on the base. He's sitting on a berth, rubbing his servos over his chest and smiling coyly for the camera.

"What do you want me to do?" he asks, tracing the lines of his sparkplates. "Do you want to see my spark?"

"Absolutely not," comes the voice of one of the seekers on the screen, and Optimus relaxes until he remembers that Windburner is with _Ramjet_, "and I don't want you to play with your cables."

He wonders if he can get away with offlining his optics when the racecarbot cracks open his plates, but it is very clear that all but Ramjet are watching _him_.

* * *

"That was ... informative. I think I've seen all I need to see. Ever."

Skywarp shakes his head. "That was only self-servicing."

He wonders if there's more high-grade. Almost as if they're reading his mind, Skywarp hands him another cube. Sunstorm draws his attention by pointing out a diagram on the screen, "This, noble Optimus, is a glossa. Everyone has one. We will explain to you the best way to apply it to a spark."

"What about bots without functional mouths?" Optimus asks, trying to derail the seekers and get them onto any topic other than 'teaching Optimus how to interface.'

Sunstorm blinks. "Well, I suppose they don't have glossas." He gives the other seekers a concerned look. "How do they lick sparks?"

The seekers all look at each other, and eventually Thundercracker says, "Shockwave doesn't have a mouth. We can call him and ask."

Sunstorm claps his servos, "You're right, brilliant Thundercracker, surely you _are_ the best blue seeker." Ignoring as Thundercracker preens under the praise, the yellow seeker switches the video screen to a com call.

Optimus tries to hide behind Skywarp.

It doesn't work so well.

The call connects, and Shockwave stares at them. "I wasn't expecting a call from your frequency, Optimus. Are you looking for Cliffjumper?"

Sunstorm waves a servo dismissively. "He wasn't the one calling, inquisitive Shockwave. We," the mech gestures at the group of seekers, "were wondering if you had a glossa."

Shockwave studies them, giving them a bemused look, "I could tell you, but I think I want to know why you want to know first."

"We're certainly _not_ teaching Optimus how to interface so he won't be a wreck on his bonding night," Ramjet says cheerfully, fluttering his wings at the camera out of reflex.

"Teaching by example?" Shockwave asks, bringing his claws up to his face.

Optimus shudders, and drinks more of his cube as Thundercracker says cheerfully, "We have some _very_ informative diagrams."

Dirge pipes up, "_I_ drew most of them. They are _mine_."

Sunstorm pushes the other seekers out of the camera view, "But, curious Optimus brought up a very good point on one of our comments. Do all bots have glossa? Even ones _without_ a mouth?"

"I cannot vouch for all bots, but _I_ certainly have a glossa," Shockwave purrs. "My minibots enjoy it very much."

Skywarp peeks at the screen, "I don't believe you. Show it to us!"

Shockwave shakes his head, "I don't think I should. What will _I_ get out of this?"

The seekers all look at each other, and Sunstorm taps his claws on his arms, "That depends entirely on what you want."

Optimus is fairly certain that Shockwave is smirking, even if he can't really tell, "I want to see two seekers kissing each other."

"Only if you show us your glossa _first_," Skywarp says, before leaning close enough to rub one of his wings against Sunstorm. "We don't trust you."

Shockwave nods. "Very well. We have our deal." He does something, and then there's a _glossa_, which is coming from some part of the inky darkness of his face. It makes Optimus's processor ache.

Sunstorm nods, and pulls Skywarp next to him by the waist, "So yes, clever Optimus. _Everyone_ has a glossa." The seeker turns his head, and starts to bring Skywarp close, making Shockwave lean in with interest, when he suddenly turns off the com, and bursts out into high screechy giggles.

Optimus clutches at his head. That noise was intolerable, and they were _all_ making it now.

Eventually, their giggles die down, and they pull him back to the couch. "Now. Back to your lessons. How to satisfy a spark with your glossa."

Optimus shudders, "You aren't going to make me watch _another_ video, are you?"

Sunstorm shakes his head sadly, "We tried to make one, but eager Ramjet's head kept getting in the way."

Thundercracker pulls ... something out of his subspace and holds it proudly. "In a perfect example of my genius and foresight, we decided a more practical demonstration was in order." He thrusts the thing at Optimus. "Here. Take it."

Optimus stares at it, but doesn't touch it, moving out of the way when Thundercracker keeps trying to shove it in his servos, "What is it?"

Skywarp tilts his head, "A fake spark. Normally used to self service."

Optimus jumps out of the couch to get away only to get caught by Dirge. Thundercracker frowns at him, "It is brand new. I am the only one with the foresight to know you wouldn't want a used one."

"No, I really don't _need_ a 'facing toy, thank you." He doesn't want to touch it, but he's forced to sit on the couch and the thing is dropped on his lap.

Sunstorm clucks his glossa, "Tsk, tsk. How will we be able to assess your glossa skills if you don't have an object to demonstrate them on and practice with?"

He tries to move it off his lap, "I am perfectly fine not learning."

Ramjet frowns, picking it up, "You're absolutely correct. Ultra would _never_ want you to please him with your glossa." The seeker starts to put it next to Optimus's mouth, only to shriek in pain, drop it, and clutch at his cockpit while whimpering unhappily.

Optimus forces a smile, "There, see? The AllSpark is clearly saying no to this part of the lesson." He picks up the fake spark and gives it to Skywarp. "Let's move on to something else."

Ramjet rubs his cockpit, glaring at Optimus.

Skywarp hands it back to Thundercracker, and the blue seeker takes a step closer to Optimus, "Ramjet is just overreacting, he clearly isn't _really_ in any pain, and just wants to get out of having you learn." The mech puts the fake spark close to his mouth, only to shriek loudly, and clutch at his cockpit, "My shard _zapped_ me!"

Optimus crosses his arms over his chest. "A sure sign we should move on to something else."

"Licking spark is not a vital part of interfacing," Ramjet picks up the fake spark and studies it. "We will not give you a demonstration since you are being so very willing to learn." He cups the spark carefully in his servos and bends down to lick it.

Optimus shudders unhappily, "Do I _really_ need to know this? I'm pretty sure I can learn from Ultra."

Sunstorm gives him a dirty look. "The wonderful Sari has said _repeatedly_ that he will take advantage of you. We understand that she can talk to the AllSpark; wouldn't you think that is a reason you should learn from bots that have _no_ interest in your spark?"

He shakes his head slow and careful, as if that will make a difference.

"Well, you _will_ be learning." Sunstorm frowns at Ramjet, "As wonderful and talented as you are, Ramjet, you could improve your technique some. Let me demonstrate." He leans down and carefully licks the opposite side of the fake spark, and Optimus's optics widen. This was ... a lot of bots would pay good credits to see this.

He drinks the last of his cube of high grade, and gets handed another one by Skywarp. The seeker then walks over to the two bots licking, and points out _how_ they are doing it. "Sunstorm is doing long and slow licks. This is good if you want your bot to beg you to let them overload."

Sunstorm hums against the fake spark, and Skywarp nods, "And most bots really like when you do that. They can feel the harmonic vibrations of it, especially if you pitch your voice right." He shifts and points at Ramjet, "Ramjet is licking faster. This is a good technique if your bot is close to overload or trying not to overload, and you want to force them to do it."

Optimus sinks down in the couch, sipping on his high-grade, and Sunstorm pulls away to say, "And now for the bit that Skywarp wishes he had gotten when Slipstream gave us all this talk."

Skywarp gets grabbed by the other seekers, and all of them chorus, "Cables!"

Optimus covers his face with his servos. "I already know all of this. I may not have any experience, but I'm not a _sparkling_. Who do you think was responsible for watching all the slagging videos you kept pumping out into the public?"

They give him a disappointed look, and Skywarp says, "But we _want_ to talk about cables."

Optimus shudders, sipping on his high-grade, "I don't think I'm overcharged enough for this conversation."

"But that's your fourth cube since we started this lesson," Dirge points out, far too reasonably.

"As I said, not overcharged enough."

Claws pet his frame soothingly — too many to count, especially with a haze starting to fuzz up his processor. Several cables, fresh out of a package — Optimus doesn't want to know what medical supply store they raided — are held aloft in front of his optics.

"These are cables," Sunstorm explains, poking at the connecting ends. "And your goal is to get these linked up with your partner. It feels really good."

The seeker puts one in his servos, and Optimus pushes it back. The bot is very careful when he puts it in the firetruck's servos _again_, and when he isn't shocked for doing so, refuses to take it back. Looking down at it in resignation, Optimus sighs, "_Why_ do I have to hold this? I have my own."

Sunstorm sits next to him, arm over his shoulders, "It is always better to have a teaching tool that isn't connected to someone."

He stares at the cable, "Then why the licking earlier?"

Ramjet sits on his other side, absently petting the top of his head but avoiding his headfins, "We couldn't find a fake glossa, and it wasn't utterly terrifying."

Optimus rolls the end of the cable absently, "Why did you only give me one? I thought you wanted to show me how to link them." He already knows how.

Skywarp gasps, "Optimus! You want to link your own cables? That's so, so _kinky_!"

The flock of seekers break into little titters of laughter, like sparklings being taught what firewalls are used for. Optimus resists the urge to bury his face in his palms.

Thundercracker rests his head on Optimus's shoulder, and wrapping arms around his waist while Sunstorm and Ramjet cuddle next to him and Skywarp and Dirge settle on the floor to put their heads on his lap, wrapping arms around his legs. Sunstorm stops giggling long enough to say, "But since you asked, we will let you try, clever Optimus. I am sure you will know the very first time," and hands him a second cable.

Optimus studies the cables. They're ordinary, universal sparkchamber cables, and the ends link together with an easy click. He waves the connected cables at the seekers. "There. I linked them."

The seekers coo at him, petting his armor and praising him far too much for having accomplished something as simple as linking cables together.

Skywarp blinks up at them, "What are we teaching next?"

There's a small pause and Thundercracker reaches down and taps on Sunstorm's cockpit, "We should explain how to interface while carrying."

Optimus shakes his head, "I doubt I'll need that right away."

The seekers stare at him. "You will. The High Priestess said you'd be with sparkling if you follow the courtship properly."

He gives them a confused look, "You mean Sari, right?"

They all nod solemnly, and Sunstorm continues, "The wise and beautiful Sari speaks to the AllSpark, and it said that you will be with sparkling if you carry this all the way through."

The other seekers giggle in the high pitched snicker, and Dirge plays with his kneeguard while saying, "Ultra will have _twins_, like me."

His spark thrums with pleasure at the thought. He _wants_ a family. "If Sari says so, then I will have to trust in her judgment. She has not been wrong yet."

Sunstorm slides his cockpit open to display his sparkling. He's pretty far along, Optimus notes. He's going to need to schedule leave for Bumblebee and Blurr soon.

Sunstorm reaches in and runs a claw along the sparkling's back, making it squirm at the touch, "You can pet him while we talk."

Optimus isn't really sure if the seeker is talking to him, but all the rest of the bots giggle and runs claws along the sparkling. He has one of his servos pulled over to pet it, as well, the seekers making room for him even as the sparkling tries to move away from the touch. "Sparklings need overloads to grow correctly, so you _can't_ stop interfacing if you have one."

"Self-servicing would help it as well," Optimus says, and he touches the tiny wings, smiling when the sparkling swipes at him with rudimentary claws. "I have read a few guides on the subject."

Sunstorm lifts his head, "Yes, of course. But you will need to get over your spark shyness. Many bots will want to see your sparkling, and you should want to show him or her off."

Running a finger over the sparkling's head spike, he shakes his head, "You're only supposed to show _family_, Sunstorm."

The seekers cuddle in closer to him, giggling, "But _everyone_ wants to see, and you had that nice clear chestplate before you came to earth! We saw the picture."

Flushing, Optimus focuses on the sparkling. "It wasn't clear. It had a metal backing, and was perfectly respectable."

"You should wear it more often," they purr, petting his chest. "It was pretty."

He scoffs, "It made my academy days terrible. I had _so many_ bots think I was 'facing my way into good grades."

They give him a disappointed look, "And that's why you _haven't_ 'faced anyone. How terrible!"

Optimus shrugs, "I just never saw any reason to. I wanted to wait, and there was no one I wanted to share my spark with." It was a lie. He'd wanted a connection with Elita-1, and then with Blackarachnia, but she had been with Sentinel, and then ... well, it was better not to think about it. He was still willing to help her if she ever showed up again. She didn't deserve the hand that fate had dealt her.

He's petted softly, "Well, now you're with Ultra."

"You're getting bonded!"

"How romantic."

He's not really sure how to respond to that, since it was _Ramjet_ that said it was romantic, and he's not sure what the seeker meant. Instead, he says, "Is this all you wanted to tell me?"

They shake their heads, "We still having explained 'facing while carrying."

Optimus vents a sigh. "Alright. Explain away." He pets the sparkling again, and picks up more highgrade to drink.

"You don't have to do anything different at first," Sunstorm confides. "And you likely won't notice any differences until you start getting tired more easily. At this point, you should try and link up with your partner every time. The extra charge shared through cables will help balance out the exhaustion."

"Even if we're both carrying? Like Sari seems to think we will be."

He sips on his cube as the seekers whisper to each other before Skywarp murmurs, "You should still get extra charge from linking up, just overloading will help."

Dirge cackles, "You could have a third bot help overload you!" and immediately hisses when his spark shard zaps him.

Thundercracker taps his claws against his armor. "You'll be bonded, so you can't have a third bot help you. But perhaps a superior bot, such as I — not that I am offering — could share charge with you medically."

Optimus nods thoughtfully, and keeps petting the sparkling, "That could work. We may ask Ratchet to help. A medic would be best, after all."

Ramjet snickers, "Or Red Alert, she _isn't_ the prettiest medic we've ever seen."

Angrily, the sparkling swipes at his servo again and again, and the seekers all coo at it. "He's so energetic, Sunstorm," Thundercracker purrs, poking the sparkling playfully to watch it hiss and scratch. "He will be an excellent seeker when he grows up."

Sunstorm shoos their servos away, "Yes, he will, but he will also start kicking me if I do not let him go back to sleep." The seeker closes up, "He is _very_ enthusiastic with kicking. Much more than Firefly was, even. I think it has to do with how energetic Blurr is, and he got it from him."

Dirge nods sympathetically. "Mine were like that. But they kicked _each other_ more than they kicked me."

"Kicking is a sign that the sparkling is healthy," Skywarp says wisely. "You want your sparkling to be energetic. But it might kick you when you interface sometimes."

Oltimus gives them a horrified look, "You interface when they're _awake_?"

The seekers roll their optics at him, and Sunstorm pats his head, "They don't remember _anything_ while in the chamber. And do better overall if you interface while they can tell that you are building up the charge."

"You want them to be able to identify the energy patterns of _both_ of their creators. Or all three," Sunstorm says with a grin. "Otherwise you're going to have a terrible time with them for the first few stellar cycles. If they can't recognize your energy pattern, they're not going to want to settle down or take energon from you."

Ramjet cuts in, "And you will want to pour energon on them when they are in the chamber."

Sunstorm straightens up, nodding. "They _hate_ that. Don't let Ultra use your spark chamber like an energon cube while you're carrying. The sparkling doesn't do well."

Use him like an energon cube? What the slag did Seekers _do_ in the berth? "I will keep that in mind."

"No matter how pretty a spark is when it's coated in energon, a sparkling has very delicate intakes. You don't want to gum up his fans before his self cleaning systems are fully functional."

Optimus is _so glad_ he's overcharged enough not to freak out about this; if he was sober, he's pretty sure he'd have shoved all the seekers out the moment they started petting him. He nods, and sips on his high-grade. "Right."

"You're actually small enough for him to do that, and he's large enough for it to work. Most Autobots would need a minibot, and be a larger model, but he's large enough to be a Decepticon."

Dirge nods enthusiastically, "And make sure you shut off all your internal sparkchamber fans if you do it. It'll get really messy otherwise."

Optimus rubs his optics. "I will remember that, thank you."

The seekers giggle, "Now for the fun part!"

He looks at Thundercracker. "The fun part?"

He's picked up by each of the seekers, held between them as Skywarp says, "We're taking you to the berth and seeing how flexible you are and teaching you various positions to use." The mech looks down at his own hips, "We are a bit thin to use for examples, but we'll figure _something_ out."

Thundercracker spreads Optimus's legs apart. "We'll just hold them wide enough. So he can get a sense of how to balance when he's doing it with Ultra."

They carry him into the berthroom, and Optimus stares up at them, unsure of what _exactly_ they're doing. "We're ... you're showing me 'facing positions?"

They nod, "You need to know these things. It isn't like _you'd_ ever look them up."

He's set on the berth and Skywarp climbs in with him, commenting, "It is a good thing you're moving in with Ultra, this berth barely fits me."

"It's _too large_ for me," Optimus complains, but is surprisingly compliant, allowing Thundercracker to place him on top of Skywarp's chest. He's pushed down, so his chest scrapes against Skywarp's cockpit glass.

"You'll need more room when you get ... enthusiastic with Ultra," Sunstorm warns him. "Now, pay attention. This position is good because you're smaller. If you think you might offline Ultra with what you're doing, you should make sure you're on top."

Optimus moves a little uncomfortably, "You have this cockpit here, though. You're all lumpy. Ultra is much more comfortable to lay on."

"Normally, our bots lay to the side if they're recharging on top of us." Optimus is moved so he's laying slightly off the cockpit, only to get returned to his previous position, "But you don't have that problem with him, and we aren't showing that."

"He has wider hips than we do," Thundercracker says, and Optimus feels servos on his legs, spreading him a bit. "So it'll be a bit harder to get good leverage for rocking your spark against his. You can always hold onto the sides of his sparkchamber if you have to."

He moves his servos so they're just off Skywarp's cockpit, "Like this?"

Ramjet comments, "Why, of course," and moves him slightly, so that he's where Ultra's sparkchamber edges would be.

"What if he's on top of me?" Optimus asks, and blinks when he's suddenly flat on his back on the berth, staring up at Skywarp.

"Make sure he doesn't offline like this, or you'll end up trapped until he onlines again."

Skywarp is pulled off and replaced by Dirge, who wraps arm around his waist, and positions himself so he's where Ultra would be if he was holding him like that. "My twins like to have one above and below me when we're like this. Me in the middle."

Underneath the seeker, Optimus feels really small. "Bet you get a lot of paint on you, then."

Dirge nods and pulls Optimus up so his chest is scraping against cockpit glass again. "It takes forever to polish the spot right between my wings. But Sunstreaker is really good at it."

Optimus nods understandably, "He did spend a lot of time cleaning himself and Sideswipe on the base." He shifts in Dirge's arms. "Would Ultra be holding me like this?"

The seekers study how they look, then adjust how Optimus has his legs and arms, "That's more likely. He may not hold you at all, but we like holding our bots like that."

He focuses on it, trying to imprint the position onto his processor, but gets nothing but fuzz and warmth in response. Optimus isn't sure how much of this lesson he's going to retain.

Dirge rocks him a little bit, "You'll likely be the one who links cables in this position, since his servos will be busy. Remember to tease the cables before you link them."

He flashes to images of cables rubbing against the spark, "Like in the self-servicing video?"

"You don't have to go that far, since self-servicing doesn't get as much charge as actual interfacing. You'll mainly just want to rub or lick them. It _is_ nice to rub them on a spark, but isn't needed."

Optimus nods, and lays flat on the berth when he's placed there. He looks up for instruction, waiting for the next position they want to put him in. "You'll want to touch yourself some," Thundercracker advises, watching him intently. "Get his engine revving, seeing your servos on your own plates."

He slides his servos up his chest, tracing his sparkplate seams, "Like this?"

"You'll want to look more enthusiastic as you do it for him, but that will come naturally." He's pulled onto Thundercracker's lap, and the seeker feeds him more high-grade. "Fueling up can be a great part of foreplay." He sticks a single claw in the cube, and licks it. "Either doing it in front of Ultra, or having him fueling you up."

Optimus mimics him, licking energon off his fingers. "And does this ever morph into being used as an," he makes a face, "energon cube?"

"Oh, of course," Thundercracker purrs. "And I would consider showing you that as well, but I don't think we should."

Optimus snickers, "The AllSpark will punish you if you try."

The blue seeker makes a face, and puts the cube to Optimus's mouth, making him drink. "I know." When half the cube is gone, he continues, "You can lick it off Ultra, too, that's part of using him like an energon cube. But you may want him to feed you off his fingers." He sticks the tip of his claw in, and puts it to Optimus's mouth, and the truck bot licks it off obligingly, "He'll want to use an entire finger, and you will want to be a tease about it." He sticks his claw in entirely, and licks it off slowly, making a point of moaning and panting. "You try."

Obliging him, Optimus dips a finger in the energon, and offlines his optics when he slides the tip into his mouth, sucking on it with a long, quiet moan. He tries to mimic what he'd seen the seeker do, making sure to show little flashes of his glossa. He whines, and writhes a bit, arching his back.

When he onlines his optics, the seekers are all staring at him silently. Optimus slides his finger out of his mouth, and asks, "Like that?"

Thundercracker coughs. "Yes. Just like that."

Leaning against the seeker, Optimus blinks sleepily, "Is this a position for 'facing?"

The seeker seems to come to realize exactly what he's doing, and finishes up the cube, "Yes, it is. Since I'm the best seeker, I will be showing you how to sit on a lap."

The other seekers crowd in on them, and push Optimus down so he's laying across Thundercracker's legs. The blue seeker rests a servo on his chest. "Since Ultra is very large, I am willing to bet that he'll be putting you in this position a lot. It's difficult for the smaller bot to reach our sparkchamber this way, and we can play and tease as much as we want."

Optimus reaches up, and he touches Thundercracker's cockpit, "I can reach, though."

He's moved so he's sitting up just a bit, so his servo reaches higher up, "But Ultra's is right here. You need to move to get at it." He's pushed back down, so he's laying, "You most likely won't be able to even see it if you're like this."

Optimus tries reaching up again, and fails. "It doesn't seem fair, not being able to touch him."

"He'll enjoy playing with your spark," Thundercracker's claws dip briefly into his sparkplate seams. "And I doubt you'll be thinking of fairness when he's got a servo on you like that."

Optimus shifts away from the touch, uncomfortable with claws against him like that, far too reminded of bad memories. "But what if I don't _want_ him to?"

Thundercracker blinks at him in confusion before remembering Starscream, and moving his claws so it is more like fingers touching him, and Optimus stops trying to squirm away, "You're going to be _bonded_. If you don't want him to do it, he'll _have_ to stop."

"Any more advice?"

The seekers share a look. "If you were fliers, we'd teach you about midair interfacing. But neither of you are flight-capable, so you don't need those lessons." Skywarp pulls Optimus off Thundercracker's lap and studies him. "If you were larger, you could lick each other's sparks at the same time. Too bad."

He's handed over to Ramjet, who sits on the floor with the rest of the seekers, joined by Thundercracker slipping off the berth. "It is good that you don't have claws. Because touching the back of the spark is the worst feeling in the world. My Windburner just _hates_ it."

Optimus shakes his head. "I'll live with the mystery of not knowing what it feels like."

The seekers sigh sadly as a group. Ramjet tips his face up, "You're not missing out on anything. I'm sure 'facing Ultra will be just as good as 'facing a seeker. Probably even better."

Optimus snickers, "Haven't bots said that 'facing the bot you're bonded with is the best feeling ever?"

The other seekers run servos along his frame, and Skywarp whispers, "Have they ever 'faced a seeker with an AllSpark fragment instead of a spark?"

"Is it really that different?" he asks, studying their closed cockpits. Their partners had always seemed enthusiastic in the videos he'd had to review, but it couldn't be _that_ much stronger or they'd had overloaded right away, and saved Optimus long breems of his life that could have been better spent than watching homemade porn.

Skywarp runs a claw along his sparkplates, "Would you like to kn-" he shrieks, and clutches his cockpit.

All the other seekers that got zapped pet Skywarp softly. "We are told it is the most amazing feeling they've ever had."

Optimus can feel a few of his systems starting to cycle down. He shakes his head. "No. We shouldn't. I'm just fine not having that experience." He forces his optics to stay online. It is far too early to slip into recharge, despite the thick, warm haze of high-grade fuzzing up his processor.

All the seekers pout at him, but don't really push it. Instead he's cuddled against Ramjet, just offset from his cockpit, as the rest of the seekers curl around them. The seekers run claws along his frame tiredly, "You should sing to us," Skywarp murmurs, head on Ramjet's shoulder. "Other bots always sing better than we do."

"I'm not good at singing," Optimus nuzzles the vent on Ramjet's chest. "What do you want me to sing?"

"A lullaby," Skywarp pets Optimus's back.

The truckbot thinks of the lullabies he knows, and selects one the seekers might not have heard yet. He hums the opening, and sings the lyrics quietly, and the seekers lay silent, listening to him.

When he finishes all of them hum a little bit of it before demanding he sing again. He goes through several songs, and the seekers slowly start to drop off to sleep. The last one awake is Skywarp, who blinks at him sleepily before whispering the lullaby that Scatterstar sang.

Optimus lets his optics blink offline, and joins them in recharge.

* * *

He onlines in a pile of seekers, trapped under three arms. His processor feels like it's about to burn up and ignite at any moment. Frag. There was a _reason_ he didn't indulge in high-grade.

Optimus pushes at the arms on his chest. They're utterly immovable, so he wiggles his way out of the seeker pile, and looks down at himself. He's _covered_ in paint. Looks like he'd been the center of some over-enthusiastic orgy. He flushes.

He starts to pull out a cloth, only to get yanked back into the pile of seekers by Sunstorm, who is half asleep. Checking the time, he sighs; he _needs_ to get up. Rapping his knuckles against Sunstorm's helmet, he winces at the sound, and offlines his audio when Sunstorm shrieks in pain, causing all the other seekers to get up and start shrieking in pain as well.

Optimus frees himself from the squabbling seekers again, managing to get to the washrack without acquiring any grievous bodily injuries or scratches. The seekers are sulking when he gets out a few kliks later, significantly cleaner. He wishes he had a bit of processor-ache cure laying around.

He starts to walk past them, only to get tugged into Ramjet's lap. The seeker's optics are offline, and is just holding him, face buried in his neck. Not really sure what to do, he just holds his head and mutters, "Did any of you bring anything that will get rid of an overcharged processor ache?"

They all shake their heads very slowly, and Thundercracker says, a bit tentative and unusual for his brash personality, "Overloads work very well to help with the pain."

Optimus levels a flat look at him, "We'll just have to deal with the ache."

Ramjet whines against him, clearly unhappy. Patting the seeker gently, he slowly extracts himself from the bot's grip. The mech blinks at him slowly, and pulling out a cleaning cloth, "You can't go to work looking like that."

He raises his servos defensively — he doesn't enjoy having seekers polishing him. It makes him nervous and uncomfortable. "Really, you don't need to clean me. Autobots have much lower standards."

Skywarp sneaks over, along with all the rest, cloth in their servos. "All the more reason we should do it. You need to be clean and presentable when you go out in public." He's pushed back into Ramjet's lap, "You are half of a courting couple, that means you need to show off."

Optimus vents a sigh. He's not going to get out of this. "Alright. Polish away." He pulls a datapad out. He can work on reports while they polish. Non-classified reports, of course. He'd learned his lesson with Starscream.

When they're done, he'd easily be mistake himself for being AllSpark polished if he didn't know any better. Putting his datapad away, he sighs when he looks in the mirror, not really sure _why_ they insisted on this. Sunstorm turns him around, checking every bit of him, "You aren't perfect, but you'll do for now. Don't let anyone touch you."

"Looking this shiny and clean makes bots _want_ to touch," Optimus warns. "And I will be seeing Ultra today."

The seekers prod him gently, managing to avoid mussing his finish. "Don't let him."

He crosses his arms, "I _want_ him to touch me, though."

The seekers all go into a huddle, and Sunstorm steps forward, "I will be going with you, wonderful Optimus, and be keeping you clean through the day."

He raises an optic ridge, "And the fact that Blurr and Bee will be there has _nothing_ to do with it, right?"

The seeker waves a servo dismissively, "Don't be ridiculous, pretty Prime, Bumblebee is at home taking care of Firefly."

"Of course he is," Optimus murmurs. "And you won't be locking yourself in Blurr's office at all, will you?"

Sunstorm smiles brilliantly. "Oh, we _never_ lock that door. Autobots are so very noble and polite. They always knock first."

Optimus shudders, making a mental note to always make sure to wait a little bit before walking into _any_ of the seekers' lovers' offices. "Right." Walking out of the berth room, he frowns at the common room. "All of you are cleaning this up."

They sulk again, but work on cleaning it all up rather efficiently—their obsessive need for cleanliness and order prevents them from leaving a mess like that no matter how much they don't want to clean it. Optimus gets fresh energon cubes for them, "Your reward."

They all exclaim at it, except for Sunstorm, who is used to the insanely modified energon from the dispenser Optimus gave him. Optimus pulls out one of the cubes from his sub-space, happy that he still has some from taking from Ultra's dispenser.

Optimus sips his energon, while the seekers make inappropriate noises over the fancy energon he's given them.

"Oh, Optimus," Ramjet purrs, "I absolutely don't intend to steal your dispenser and take it home with me."

"You can have it if you really want it that badly. I won't stop you." He leans on the counter, only to get shoved off it, and get the scuffs removed by Sunstorm.

Sunstorm turns and shakes a claw at Ramjet, "You can't take his dispenser. Optimus is so noble and kind that he pushes them off on everyone. He'll end up with no dispenser at all, and we cannot have that."

Ramjet pouts. "I didn't even want it."

Optimus sighs, "You can ask Sari to upgrade yours, you know. She's the reason I can't get normal energon now. She doesn't even do it on purpose, the AllSpark just changes them around her now."

"I want her to do it to mine first!" Dirge whines, fluttering his wings in frustration. "My twins need this."

Ramjet pushes him hard, "I asked first. You have to wait."

Checking the time, Optimus heads to the door. "Okay. Everyone out. I have to go to work, and you all have sparklings to take care of."

The seekers all put the cubes away, and walk to the door. Sunstorm puts a single claw on his shoulder, "I will be coming with you, to make certain you stay as clean as I know you can."

"We don't need chaperons at this point, Sunstorm."

Sunstorm crosses his arms over his chest, unimpressed, "You have amazing willpower, Optimus, but we spent the night teaching you how to interface. It would not be wise leaving you all alone."

He shudders, "I'm not going to let Ultra shove me on the desk and let him have his way with me, just because you did that, Sunstorm."

All the seekers share a look, "_He_ does not have your willpower, nor an AllSpark shard to tell him no. I will be with you in your office." When Optimus looks like he's going to protest, Sunstorm continues, "We could _all_ go with you, if that's what you _really_ want."

Primus, no. "I'm fine with just you, Sunstorm. The rest of you have families to attend to, and work, I'm sure." He smiles, baring his denta. "So, we will see you later. Have a pleasant solar cycle." He shoos them all out of his apartment, until only Sunstorm remains. "We are never going to speak of what happened last night."

Sunstorm nods sadly, "It was utterly shameful. You didn't even ope- _glitching Allspark_." The seeker clutches his cockpit, glaring down at it, "What if that damaged my sparkling, AllSpark? Do you really want that?"

Clunk clunk clunk!

Sunstorm clutches at his chest, "Ouch, oh, little sparkling, did you have to start kicking me now? Right after the AllSpark stung me?" At Optimus's concerned look, Sunstorm waves him off, "It'll be alright. He gets like this sometimes."

Patting the seeker on the shoulder, he heads out to wait for the elevator, "What calms a kicking sparkling down?"

Sunstorm winces at a particularly _loud_ clang. "Sari mainly. Sometimes overloads work, but that's not always the case. If you have a high energy sparkling like mine are, it just makes them kick _harder_."

"We can com Sari after we reach Autobot Command," Optimus offers, and they walk out to the elevator together. "She'd be willing to come help, I'm positive of it." His processor still aches terribly, and he fully intends to raid the medical supplies in his office.

Sunstorm nods gratefully, and winces as the sparkling keeps kicking. "That'd be helpful."

Patting the seeker's frame, Optimus frowns, "Will you be able to transform and fly when he is doing that?"

"Of course. He tends to settle down a little when I'm in the air," Sunstorm confides. "I think he likes it up there better than on the ground." He rubs his cockpit slowly, "Though I admit to sometimes wishing I could administer a sedative to him."

Optimus pats his cockpit, but pulls away quickly when the sparkling kicks directly where he had his servo, "He's very determined to cause damage, isn't he?"

Sunstorm nods sadly, "I have _dents_ in my chamber."

"We can have Ratchet look at you later," he comforts, and they transform outside—Sunstorm with a loud, relieved sigh.

"I'd fly with him all solar cycle long if I could manage it." The seeker hovers above him as they roll to Autobot Command, and Optimus opens a comlink with Sari.

"Sari?"

Her voice is scratchy and groggy, "Oh dear God, stop yelling."

He lowers his voice, "Are you okay?"

"Kinda hungover, actually. Did you know that Ultra called last night to make sure that the seekers weren't facing you?"

Optimus swerves wildly, and has to force himself back on track. "He _what_?"

"Yeah. And I got to talk to the AllSpark about it. And teach Cyclonus how to drink vodka. Fucking bastard doesn't even have a hangover today, I bet."

He blinks his light in confusion, "Why did you teach Cyclonus to drink vodka?"

She actually sounds excited as she talks, "He was _curious_ about it! He's _never_ curious about anything. He tried all my alcohol, even the stuff that would make a human blind and horribly ill. It was great!"

"I'll take your word on it. I take it that Perceptor's code-fixes have been working?"

"Oh, yeah. Not a huge change, but still. Showing an interest in something is like, major for him." Optimus can picture Sari bouncing around at this, and he smiles.

"That's fantastic. You could bring him by today, if you like. I was hoping you could come and help with Sunstorm. His sparkling is very kicky today."

"Sure. Is he going to be in Autobot headquarters?"

"He is. He said that he needs to keep me clean and Ultra away from me."

There's a bark of laughter, "He's _right_. All the more reason I should be there to help him with his sparkling." There's a pause, "I planned on visiting Percy, anyway. The sciencebots wanted me to upgrade their dispenser. May as well do it today."

Optimus spins his wheels a little faster, "I'm sure they'll appreciate that. And I know Sunstorm would appreciate the help." _He_ doesn't appreciate them keeping Ultra away. But it's a small price to pay for the happiness and comfort of others. And he'll find some time to be alone with him at some point. Perhaps he'll find a reason to stay over at Ultra's home again.

Sunstorm buzzes above his roof, "Tell her that the other seekers want her to help with their dispensers, I don't think they have her frequency."

He passes on the message, and she responds, "Well, I'm sure I can do that, too. I'm just kind of surprised that you didn't just give them yours. Like you _always_ do."

"Sunstorm stopped me."

"He's sensible like that."

Optimus laughs. "We'll see you at Command Headquarters, Sari." He disconnects the call, and continues on in companionable silence with Sunstorm.

He's at least a breem late when he arrives, and he plans to put a notice on his own file for it later. Tardiness without a good reason isn't acceptable, and _I partied hard with seekers_ isn't a good excuse.

He steps into his office, and starts to work. Ignoring the seeker _lying_ across his desk, he fills out his reports. After about a klick, he starts to pet Sunstorm's cockpit to sooth the sparkling's kicking.

There's a knock on his door, and Optimus calls out, "Come in."

It's a secretarybot Optimus has only seen a few times—from several floors away. He has a datapad that needs Optimus's signature, which is strange. He's never had a secretarybot bring a pad directly to him. Reading the pad, he notes it's a simple request for supplies that really should have gone to a different part of the department. He signs it anyway, deeply puzzled.

When the bot leaves, Sunstorm snickers, "I _told you_. Autobots always knock." There's a loud clang, and the seeker winces. Petting him again, the sparkling calms down.

"That's not a bad thing, you know."

The bot waves a tired servo, "I know. I _like _that they give warning."

Three more bots visit him over the next several breems, leaving Optimus confused. Why the slag did they suddenly feel the need to get reports signed and finished on time? Normally, he had to prod them for ages, and then give up and do the work himself.

He shakes his head and smiles brightly when the next guest proves to be Sari.

She steps in, Cyclonus following her obediently, and walks directly over to his desk. She lets the jetbot pick her up and set her on the seeker's cockpit before she starts talking. "Is he being angry today?"

Sunstorm relaxes the moment she runs a hand along his windows, "He started kicking when my shard zapped me."

She raises an eyebrow, but doesn't stop petting the bot, "And what did you do to make the AllSpark punish you?"

He mumbles his answer.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

Optimus looks between the two of them. "You know, have you considered trying a medical charge sharing with Sari? Her energy might calm your sparkling down in a way that a normal transference does not."

Sunstorm gives Sari a distinctly _dirty_ smile, and she walks across the bot's chest to slap him in the face, all insult. "Because seekers are incapable of keeping something like that medical."

Optimus taps his fingers on his desk. "You could always knock him out first."

"Pft," Sari waves her servo at him, "like that'd work. Second I get some energy into him, he'd be back online and pervy as possible."

He sighs, "You have a point." There's another knock at the door, "Come in."

It's another secretarybot with a datapad.

Sari sits on Sunstorm's chest, while Cyclonus stares blankly at the wall.

"Can I help you?" Optimus prompts the secretarybot, when he stands in place and stares at the bots with wide optics.

"Yes, sir, I was just wondering if you could sign this for me?" he offers the pad, and Optimus takes it.

He vents a sigh. "I'm afraid I cannot. You need your manager's signature on this. I don't have authority in this department."

The bot takes it back nervously, "Oh, sorry sir." And takes off out the door.

Optimus looks out after him, and shakes his head. "At least they're _working_, even if it means they're bugging me."

Sari gives him a disbelieving look, "They most likely saw a seeker join you in your office, and are wondering if you're breaking your courting."

"That's ridiculous, Sari. I would never break my courtship with Ultra. Certainly not for the seekers who _traumatized_ me last night." He shudders. "They showed me video. Video of Windburner self-servicing."

Sari pats him on the face, "That _is_ horrifying. I don't get all your robo-porn. It is a ball of energy and you use wires to connect. How is that even sexy?"

He couldn't help but think that Sari was missing the point. "It was _Windburner_, Sari. _Windburner_. I have to work with him. I see him at least every other solar cycle to discuss staff schedules. How the slag am I supposed to look him in the optics now?"

"Easily," Sunstorm smiles broadly. "Especially now that you know what a lovely little spark he has under his plates."

Optimus shudders, and Sari rolls her eyes as she talks, "Its a _ball of energy_. I don't see how you guys see any difference other than size."

There's another knock at the door as Sunstorm shakes his head, "There's a certain patterning that is unique to every bot."

Optimus isn't sure if he should allow whoever it is in as they keep talking. "_What_ patterns? There is blue on blue on blue," the door opens and another secretarybot walks in with a datapad, "on blue with an electrical discharge."

Ignoring the sercretarybot's confused look, he glances through the pad as Sunstorm explains, using his claws to gesture as if he's petting a spark, "It has a very wonderful feel under your claws."

Sari shakes her head, "No way. They all look the fragging same, and they all probably _feel_ that way too. Except maybe for you guys, with your shard fragments."

"Priestess," Sunstorm scolds lightly, "_you_ of all bots should be able to tell sparks apart. Perhaps you are simply being adorable and modest about your abilities?"

"There is _no difference_. At _all_. Why would you think the AllSpark talking to me all the damn time would change that? It can't even get me to think a bot is pretty. I'm just thankful it has stopped pointing out bots that want to 'face me." She makes a disgusted face, "Especially since _most_ did, even if it was them only reacting to my size and armor."

Optimus tries to shoo the secretarybot out, since he's finished with his datapad, but the bot stands, transfixed. He vents a sigh.

Sunstorm pets Sari's head, "You are adorable and tiny, Priestess. You can't blame us for enjoying this fact."

"I _can_ when they were calling me a _whore_!" She glares down at the bot.

Optimus winces, and so do the secretarybot and Sunstorm. The Seeker runs a claw down her side, "You are blessed by the AllSpark, Priestess."

His claw gets shoved rudely away. "You just shut up about the AllSpark right now. We are not on good terms, not after last night."

Optimus wonders what the AllSpark was harassing her with while he was being given ... Primus, he doesn't want to remember what he did last night. Especially not being posed indecently on various seekers.

Sunstorm huffs, "_I_ didn't get punished by the AllSpark for anything last night."

She pokes him in the cockpit, "But you did this _morning_. That's even worse. You don't even have the excuse of highgrade like Skywarp."

Optimus finally manages to get the secretarybot out the door, locking it firmly behind him. He hopes the bot doesn't go spreading gossip.

"We were all overcharged," Optimus interjects, trying to stop their squabbling. "And I am doing my best to purge the entire event from my processor."

Sari taps her foot, "They're just lucky the AllSpark thinks they're funny. If it was _any other bot_, there would have been a broken courtship we'd have to deal with."

Optimus gives her a horrified look, "I'd never-"

She waves at him dismissively, "I'm saying that normally giving you sex-ed would have meant the AllSpark gets upset."

"And we would _never_ want to upset the all-powerful AllSpark," Sunstorm hums. "Not even when letting you leave this morning without so much as a kiss breaks all of our traditions."

The datapads are looking more and more enticing with every passing klik. Optimus would really like to read them now. Alone.

Sari gives the seeker a dirty look, "AllSpark doesn't give the slightest bit of a damn about your traditions when it comes to a courting couple." She leans against the cockpit windows, "I _could_ just leave you to your fussy sparkling, you know."

Sunstorm pouts a bit. "Alright. I apologize. It's still not fair that it wouldn't even let us show him what a shard fragment felt like against his servo. What if he has to perform emergency maintenance some solar cycle? He shouldn't be surprised by how different it feels."

She looks at him for a moment, then says flatly, "Cyclonus." The jetbot looks up at her. "Slap him."

The bot gives her an almost amused look, says, "Yes, Sari," stands up, walks over, and slaps Sunstorm right across the face.

He's about to go sit down when Sari stops him, "And what did he learn from this, Cyclonus?"

The jetbot looks just a tiny bit more amused, "That the AllSpark does not approve of lies?"

"Very good, Cyclonus. Go back to doing what you want." He goes back to sitting on the floor, but is turned so he's watching them now, and Sari continues, "Now then, Sunstorm. Are you going to do that again?"

He rubs his faceplates, "No. I have learned my lesson, and I am glad to have been taught it by such a kind and wise Autobot."

Things get substantially more chaotic when Perceptor, Wheeljack, and Red Alert burst into his office. Optimus stares at the door. He could have sworn he had locked it.

The sciencebots march up to him, and Red Alert shoves a picture in his face, "Look what she did to our twins!"

Taking the picture so he can actually focus on it, he blinks in surprise at the see-through sparkplates on the twins. "Jetstorm looks like he's wearing a version of the plate I was onlined with."

"I don't care if they're the plates Primus himself was onlined with," Red Alert hisses. "They don't belong on our twins! They're alive, and Slipstream has them hidden somewhere!"

Perceptor holds out another datapad. "The images came with a note, where they claim to have run off with her of their own initiative, and apologize for not contacting us before now."

Sari walks over and takes the pictures from his fingers, and he takes the datapad with the note. Reading through it, he nods, "I am fairly certain that they _didn't_ run off on their own, but they most likely think they did by now."

Sunstorm scoffs, "Who _wouldn't_ want to run off with Slipstream?"

Sari hits the seeker on the window, almost absently, "You didn't."

"She made it clear that she did not enjoy spending time with us," Sunstorm says, almost mournfully.

One image shows Jetfire and Jetstorm inches away from kissing each other, optic dimmed, servos resting on each others' sparkplates. Sari holds it up, "At least they look pretty happy. And the AllSpark seems okay with it."

Cyclonus actually gets up and stands beside her as she flips through the pictures, while Red Alert slams her servos on the desk, "I don't care that the AllSpark approves! We haven't heard from them in over a stellar cycle, and _this_ is what we get?"

Optimus takes the pads, copies the files, and hands the copies back to the other bots. He studies the images quickly, but Slipstream is good at what she does. There are no identifying markers that he can find in any picture. There is one picture that makes him pause.

"Well, I believe we've discovered where Skyshot disappeared to, after the war."

The picture is of the twins hugging Skyshot as the minibot glares at the camera. Perceptor sighs at it, "As if Shockwave didn't have enough reason to harass us."

Optimus intends to take the pads down for analysis, when his door abruptly opens again, and Ultra comes in. Optimus's enormous office is starting to feel crowded.

"Optimus, why did the seekers send me images of you licking energon off your servos?"

Not even looking at Ultra, Optimus turns to Sunstorm. "See? Not _all_ Autobots knock first." He pauses, "Granted, Ultra normally does. I'm not really sure why he didn't this time."

His intended gives him a confused look, slightly derailed at the comment. "I was going to, but it just opened up before I could. But that isn't what I'm here to talk about! Seekers sending me video of you. Explain."

Perceptor points a finger at Wheeljack. "The automated systems on the base dislike him. I believe the low-level AI thinks he will explode any door that attempts to remain locked in his presence."

That sounded about right.

Optimus makes another copy of the files and hands it to Ultra, "We have more important things to worry about than my overcharged escapades."

Ultra looks through the files, and frowns, "Can we track them through this?"

Wheeljack shakes his head, and Optimus takes this opportunity to start putting his work away in his sub-space, "No, Slipstream is very good at what she does."

"Slipstream loves them," Sunstorm adds, entirely unhelpfully. "Or she wouldn't have put them in such pretty plates."

This sparks an argument that gives Optimus the chance to leave the room silently.

Flipping through the datapads, he hands some that he's finished to Cliffjumper. "If anyone asks for me, I'm still in my office."

The minibot raises an optic ridge, "And when they go in and see you're not?"

Optimus smiles, "Then I must have taken a break. I was _just_ there. Clearly, I'll be back in a few kliks. And if they harass you about it, tell them they are perfectly capable of solving it themselves, if all the bots coming into my office are any indication."

"And if Ultra asks after you?"

Optimus rests a finger against his mouth, thinking. "You don't know where I am. I will have my com off save for your frequency. Please only use it if there is an emergency."

Cliffjumper nods hesitantly, then asks, "You aren't doing anything you aren't supposed to, are you?"

He sighs, "I plan on hiding and working. I'm _supposed_ to do work in my office."

The minibot smiles and waves him off, "Go do that, sir. I thought so, but it is nice to know for sure."

Optimus leaves him behind, and drops the datapads off at the lab several floors down. "Please analyze these. We're not expecting much, but it is vital that you bump these up the priority list." The lab techs all nod and promise him they'll work on it, and Optimus goes down several floors more, to find a utility closet that never gets used.

He settles himself up on a high shelf with good lighting, and pulls out his datapads.

It is several megacycles later that he gets a com from Cliffjumper, making him jump. "Sir?"

Looking down at the door, he's pleased to note that no one seems to be outside of it, "Yes, Cliffjumper?"

"It is midday. You should drink a cube of energon."

Optimus smiles, glad to be reminded, "Thank you. If you hadn't told me, I'd never drink anything."

He sips at a cube of energon — he's planning on getting more from Ultra's home soon. And never informing Sari about it, for fear of her upgrading his new favorite dispenser. He'd grown fond of the only dispenser that gave him normal energon anymore.

Even the take-out stand he'd loved visiting had begun to give him better and better grades.

Sighing, he finishes the cube, and returns to work.

A little while later, he's looks up to the sound of a thump on the door. There's a lot of giggling, and a rattling of the door. He's just about to get up and open it, possibly to tell the ones there to leave, but the sound stops, and he returns to what he was doing.

It's many megacycles later when Cliffjumper coms him again.

"Sir, you need to go home. You've already clocked in a ridiculous amount of overtime this week alone."

Optimus frowns. "I take as much time as I need to finish the work."

"You think we don't know you're taking the datapads home with you? Are you ever _not_ working, other than when Ultra is taking you on dates?"

He looks down at the large pile of datapads next to him and in his sub-space, "Sometimes I'm with my team?"

There's an exasperated sigh, "Do you know how much actual work there is to _do_, Optimus?"

He looks at the datapad in his servo, "More than anyone actually does?"

"No, Optimus. You have been doing a _ridiculous_ amount of it since you got here. We don't have a large amount in the first place, and you're doing almost all of it because you don't seem used to the fact that there is a lot of dead time and very little to do."

"But," he stares at the pad again, "there's always work to be done. I leave every day with datapads that have been abandoned and unfinished. If I leave them here, they _stay_ unfinished for weeks. It only takes a megacycle or so to complete them."

"Yeah, and it's _other_ bots' jobs to do them." Cliffjumper sounds somewhere between amused and irritated. "And I'd appreciate if you stop taking pads from my desk."

He clutches the pad, "But I want _something_ to do."

"And so do _I_. You take all of my work, except for filing. I'd like to have something to do other than calling up a bot to hand it off to, telling bots they can't bug you or Ultra, and playing a video game."

Optimus shakes his head to himself. "I'll take less pads from you. But I intend to stay busy. Someone has to do this work eventually, and if I'm capable, I intend to do it." He'd seen some of the lower level staff here—they _had_ been genuinely busy with various files. If he can take some of that load off of them, he will.

There's an irritated huff, "You'll take _no_ pads from me, unless I give them to you. Don't think I don't know about you sneaking down to help file things. You can't do that. Do you know how much extra work you give them? You're using a filing system they don't even know."

"They've never complained to me before." If he'd been filing things _wrong_, surely someone would have told him to stop, and explained the proper filing techniques.

"You're second in command, Optimus. They're not going to tell you to stop."

He puts his datapads in his sub-space, "But I told them to tell me if I was doing it wrong they could tell me."

"Optimus, think about who had your job before you."

He pauses, then frowns, "Sentinel."

"Exactly."

Optimus taps his fingers against his hip in thought. "But I don't want bots frightened of my temper. The worst I ever did, even when Bumblebee or the others outright disobeyed my orders, was write them up and give a few extra shifts as punishment."

"While Sentinel exiled Seaquake for reacting to energon being thrown at him and getting cursed at and insulted. There's a _reason_ bots just go along with whatever you say, sir. We're fairly used to just letting things go."

"You shouldn't _have_ to be like that," Optimus insists firmly. "And I'm going to make sure bots realize that. Tomorrow, I expect you to come down while I'm filing, and tell me I'm doing it wrong. Be rude about it. I don't want my staff frightened of unfair reprimands."

There's a sigh, "If that's what you want, but it is just going to send the message that you're nice to _family_."

He slips off the shelf, "Then you should also tell the bots that they are allowed to tell me these things, since they won't listen to _me_."

"I'm with Shockwave. They don't trust me the way they trust the rest of the secretarybots."

Optimus frowns. "Very well. I'm just going to have to win them over slowly. Eventually, they'll realize that I'm not going to abuse my position."

"You're showing it, but they're still getting used to it." There's a pause, and his voice turns slightly accusing, "Have you been working the entire time I've been talking to you?"

Optimus opens the door, and lets out a bark of laughter, "No. I was cleaning up the datapads. I want to drop everything off, then I'm heading home."

"No, Optimus. You and I are the _only_ ones here. _Go home_."

He vents a long sigh. "Alright. I'm going." If he shows up on Ultra's doorstep, will the other bot invite him in for the night? He transforms and drives towards his apartment. He'd rather not take the risk there. It _was_ slagging late. Ultra might be in recharge already.

He waves at the securitybot when he enters the building, and heads on up. When he enters, he's slightly surprised to find Blurr recharging on his couch. Fairly certain that the bot was there to _talk_ to him, since if he just wanted a place that isn't home to sleep Blurr knows he can use a guest room, Optimus puts a servo on the blue bot's shoulder, and shakes him gently to wake him up.

Blurr blinks rapidly, sitting upright. "Optimus,-sir,-I-wanted-to," he shakes himself, "I-wanted-to-ask-if-my-Seeker—not-that-he's-actually-_my_-Seeker,-I-don't-own-him—but-if-he'd-done-anything-inappropriate-to-you-last-night.-Is-the-courtship-in-danger?"

Looking down at the carbot, Optimus shakes his head, "The courtship is _fine_, Blurr. Whenever they got out of line, the AllSpark would zap them. Sari said that it allowed them doing that because it thought it was _funny_. You could have just asked her this, you know."

"I-wanted-to-hear-it-from-_you_," Blurr insists, getting up to pace back and forth. "I-know-you-have-the-chance-to-accept-offers-from-other-bots-during-the-final-decacycle-of-your-courtship,-and-I-know-I-have-no-right-to-ask-this,-but-I-would-prefer-you-not-accept-the-offer-I-know-Sunstorm-is-going-to-make."

Pulling the bot over to stop his pacing, Optimus shakes his head in amusement, and wraps his arms around Blurr in a gentle hug, "I'm not going to accept _any_ offer. I would _never_ try to do that to you." He rests his forehead against the other bot's, "I'm happy with Ultra."

"Thank-you,-Optimus," Blurr says, and then looks around the room. "Do-you-mind-if-I-recharge-here-tonight?-Bee-and-Sunstorm-wanted-to-show-Firefly-movies-all-night."

Optimus winces at the idea of trying to sleep when a pair of seekers is singing Disney songs. "As long as you sleep in one of the guest rooms. The couch is no place to spend the night."

Blurr nods, and allows himself to be led into a guest room, where he promptly collapses on a berth, falling almost instantly into recharge. Optimus is bemused. It must be difficult being such a high-energy bot.

He leaves the bot behind, and heads for his own berth. He has an early shift at work the following day, and needs his recharge.

* * *

**Please Review**

Again, thanks to Vivienne we have the chapter, and she is awesome 8D

Also, I'm upping the rating of this, because the themes are going up, and K+ is not really right. It is sitting wrong with meee. And there is porn that I cut out here. You can see it on my journal. The link is on my profile as the homepage, just in case you didn't know. All the previous ones that had porn are there. If you can't find this story, it is on the masterlist up top.

Remember! My cowriter and I respond to every review that has a way to respond! If you don't have an account or email put down, we can not tell you how much we like hearing from you!


	6. Chapter 6

I actually cut out two sections of porn in this chapter. Again, check out my journal in my homepage on my profile to get to those.

Vivienne is the reason this is even here right now, and you should not forget that.

Disclaimer: Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

When he onlines, he steps out to see Blurr poking at his dispenser. Blinking at the carbot, he murmurs, "Is something wrong?"

The mech doesn't even look up, "I-have-just-gotten-used-to-the-dispenser-you-gave-us.-This-one-thought-I-was-you.-I-need-a-higher-grade-than-what-you-have-it-set-on."

Optimus walks over to the dispenser and gives it a long, hard look, before pulling back and kicking it. It makes an angry grinding noise, and spits out three stacked cubes of high-grade with various additives. "There. If you need more, just ask for it. It's going to be trying to get me overcharged for the next decacyle now."

Blurr pauses mid-grab for the cubes, "If-I-had-known-I-wouldn't-have-don-"

Optimus waves him off, pulling out a cube from his sub-space, "Don't worry about it, I'll just go to Ultra's for energon. He'll be happy about it."

Blurr gulps down one of the cubes before speaking again, "I'm-still-sorry,-sir.-This-is-_your_-home,-and-I-don't-want-to-make-you-unhappy-in-any-way."

"You haven't," he promises, drinking one of his remaining cubes from Ultra's home. "That dispenser has been getting steadily worse, each time Sari comes to visit."

Blurr drinks another of the cubes, "Maybe-the-AllSpark-is-trying-to-tell-you-something?"

Optimus sighs, "It is very likely, but I want to drink my plain energon before I start carrying. I know I'll need a better grade then, and that will get a 'good luck finding anything plainer' after that."

"Sparklings-need-good-energon-if-you-want-them-to-have-strong-armor-and-good-wiring," Blurr drinks the third cube, and makes a satisfied noise. "If-you're-lucky,-you-won't-have-it-as-bad-as-Sunstorm.-He's-having-to-drink-almost-three-times-more-energon-than-normal-right-now,-and-it's-making-him-a-bit-jittery."

Optimus nods, "I realized that. He wouldn't be hitting on me unless that was happening. He knows better than that."

Blurr gives him a look that is not entirely friendly, optics narrowed a bit. "I-had-to-listen-to-him-tell-me-all-about-how-pretty-a-firetruckbot-would-look-sprawled-out-on-top-of-him,-while-he-carefully-avoided-naming-you.-Sunstorm-isn't-good-at-that-sort-of-subtle."

Patting the carbot on the back, Optimus sighs, "I have _no_ interest in the seeker model type, Blurr. You have nothing to worry about."

The smaller mech sighs, "I-know.-I'm-just-worried-about-him.-I-can't-leave-him-alone,-or-he'll-hit-on-anything-that-moves."

Optimus rubs Blurr's shoulder. "It'll be alright. The sparkling looks like it should be ready soon. And Sunstorm is a seeker. He doesn't mean anything by the flirting and interest in other bots. It's just how they're programmed." He smiles, "At least you're not with Dirge. I hear that he and the twins take other bots to their berth every decacycle."

Blurr shudders, "I'd-never-be-able-to-do-that."

"And neither could Bee, so don't worry about it. Sunstorm will be back to focusing on you two before long."

"I-certainly-hope-so," is all Blurr says before grabbing a fourth cube of energon and downing it, to give himself an excuse to be quiet.

Optimus pats his shoulder and takes the empty cubes from him. "Do you have work today? We could go in together, if you like."

Blurr looks away as he talks, tapping fingertips together nervously, "Actually,-sir..."

Optimus smiles, "You don't have work, then? That's fine, you can just head home to Sunstorm, and I'll go by mys-"

Blurr steps in front of him, blocking the door, "No,-Optimus.-You're-actually-on-vacation-right-now.-We're-just-waiting-for-Sari-to-show-up-to-take-you-to-the-ship."

Vacation? Optimus hadn't put in any requests for vacation. "You're mistaken."

"I'm-not.-It's-been-planned-for-months-now.-You're-taking-a-full-decacycle-off,-and-you'll-be-visiting-several-different-places.-We-actually-already-scheduled-and-planned-two-different-vacations-for-you,-so-your-only-job-right-now-is-to-decide-which-you-prefer."

He moves so he can open the door, only for Blurr to block it again, "I have _work_ to do, Blurr. I'm going to go do that."

The carbot shakes his head, "No.-You-_did_-all-the-work-yesterday,-that's-why-Cliffjumper-let-you-stay-past-midnight.-We-knew-you'd-get-upset-if-you-didn't-do-_something_-before-you-go.-He-would-have-prefered-you-did-that-in-your-office,-but-you-getting-time-alone-because-you-_wanted_-to-be-alone-was-wonderful."

Optimus vents a sigh. "Sari is coming?"

"Yes."

He sits on the couch. "I won't be able to talk my way out of this ... vacation?"

"Probably-not,-sir.-She-was-very-adamant-about-keeping-this-a-secret-so-you-couldn't-go-and-cancel-the-hotel-and-ship-reservations."

He sighs, "So I'm going with her and Cyclonus, then?"

Blurr drops on to the couch next to him, "And-Perceptor,-I-think-she-said."

Tilting his head, he gives the bot a confused look, "Perceptor? ... why?"

"Something-about-code-fixing.-I-was-a-bit-distracted-when-she-explained-it."

Optimus turns the video screen on, flipping to a program about crystal formation. It's far more entertaining than the news at this point. "I suppose she'll be explaining the vacation choices to me?"

"I-think-so,-yes.-She-didn't-tell-me-the-choices,-so-I-wouldn't-know.-I-think-she-mentioned-a-ninjabot-planet,-but-you-wouldn't-be-_able_-to-go-there-if-it-is-an-option,-anyway.-They-are-very-exclusive,-and-you-are-no-ninjabot."

Optimus only shakes his head, "If she wants to visit the planet, I'm content to stay in whatever ship we have rented. I wouldn't deny Sari the opportunity to visit a place she's interested in."

"It's-_your_-vacation.-Sari-wouldn't-be-happy-with-that."

He shrugs, "If she wants to go, she can go. I have no problem no matter what."

There's a knock at the door, and Blurr rushes over to open it, letting Sari in. Cyclonus and Perceptor follow closely after, the sciencebot tapping in a datapad that's connected to the jetbot.

Sari walks right over to Optimus, "Empty your sub-space."

Optimus pulls out his datapads and lays them out on the table.

Sari taps her foot impatiently, "And the energon. I'm not going to listen to the AllSpark whine the entire time about you not eating decent food."

Optimus scoots away, "But I _like_ plainer energon. It should be happy I'm no longer getting the energon from the take-out place."

"You were making those workers feel bad, Optimus! It was like they were charging you for water! They felt like they were cheating you out of money, since you always got what they would _give_ to a bot that genuinely couldn't afford something." She taps her foot angrily, "Now _empty_ your sub-space."

He reluctantly gives her his energon cubes. He holds the last carefully, and reaches into it to pull out a small energy blade.

Sari stares at it blankly. "Optimus?"

"Yes?" He wipes the blade clean and tucks it back into his subspace. He'll put it in a new cube later.

"Why do you have a knife in your energon?"

"You can never be too careful when it comes to self defense, Sari."

She stares at the cube, then looks at him, "You put an _energy blade_ into your energon. You could have blown up."

He shakes his head, "It is perfectly safe, and no one _ever_ looks in your energon cube for weapons if you're captured. No one takes away your emergency ration, even if they've cleared your subspace of everything else. You don't _starve_ a prisoner."

Blurr gives him a strange look. "Don't-you-think-that's-a-bit ... paranoid?"

"Absolutely not," he stares at the cubes on the table, forlorn. He loves ordinary energon. "It's a necessary precaution."

Sari rubs her temples, "Like hell it is. You're not doing that."

He gives her a horrified look, "But what if something happens? I'm even higher profile now than I ever was! I need a weapon just in case."

"I don't care. You're not going to get into a situation where a single tiny energy knife is going to be able to save you like that."

Optimus goes silent. He's still going to put it back in his energon later.

She gives him a dirty look, "Put it on the table." He backs up, shaking his head, and she steps forward, "When I said _empty_ your subspace, I _meant_ it. Don't make me yank everything out _for_ you."

"My subspace if full of weapons, Sari. You're not getting me to give those up, even while on vacation."

He knows all too well how a peaceful day can turn deadly.

"I'm not saying you have to. I'm saying you are fragging emptying your subspace, or I will extend it from ten days to forty." She moves closer, and grabs him by the helmet, hissing, "Now fucking empty it."

He ducks his head, "Alright." Optimus pulls his weapons out, one at a time, until there's an impressive pile, all carefully stacked and sorted, spread out across the table. She'd only specified his subspace, so he doesn't remove his grapples or foam weapon from his frame.

With his weapon stash gone, he feels vulnerable and extremely uncomfortable.

She looks through it all, then reaches directly into his subspace. It feels utterly uncomfortable to have another bot reach into it, and he's feeling slightly ill because of it. "Sari!" he tries to pull her out, but a charge from her frame zaps his fingers.

When she leaves it, she's holding several snacks, a few books, and three datapads. "When was the last time you cleaned this, Optimus? And I had told you _all_ the datapads."

"They're blank." He gestures at them. "I didn't think you'd object to me having something to write on."

"_I_ will give you some blank pads, just in case you have files hidden on these."

Optimus arches an optic ridge. "Now who's being paranoid?"

Sari suddenly transforms into botmode, and her optics glow as she grabs his helmet, shaking him and hissing, "You will do as I _say_, or you will _regret it_."

Suddenly she pushes him away, and drops back to human, and curls up, "Get _out of my head_, AllSpark! I don't need you to do this!"

Everyone gives her a confused look, and Optimus reaches over to cautiously pat her back, "Are... are you okay, Sari?"

"No, I'm not okay," she whines. "I need this vacation too, and the AllSpark keeps trying to push forward and I don't _like_ that at all. So please, stop fighting me on this stuff."

He shares a look with the other bots, "Alright. I'll stop for now."

She shudders unhappily, "Thank you." She begins going through his subspace items, he's not really sure _how_, since her eyes are closed, and she's just running her hand over them. He's slightly amazed she doesn't cut herself open on the weaponry, really. "You can have these back," She murmurs as she hands him four datapads, the three blank ones he had left, and the one that is filled with short stories from when he talked to Crumplezone.

She runs her hands over them again, and hands him a few weapons — a bolo, a net, and one energy gun he never uses. Sari opens her eyes and snorts, picking up his energy axe. "You can keep this too. I'm not going to separate you from your main weapon, even if the AllSpark wants to keep you out of close combat."

He puts them away carefully, "Can I have the energy blade back? I would like to put it in the energon cube when I get one."

She picks it up, tapping it against her palm, "Normally I'd tell you no," she hands it to him, "but the AllSpark was a dick and possessed me, so you get to choose two more weapons to take." He reaches over, and she stops him, "But it if is something too ridiculous, I'm going to tell you to put it back."

Optimus picks up a set of basic explosives — he'd found much more use for them when he was repairing space bridges, but they still might come in handy. Sari scowls, but lets him keep them. They're nearly impossible to accidentally explode, after all. He studies the rest of his weapons and selects another knife. If he's down to a limited number of weapons, he wants ones that he can conceal.

Sari looks through everything else, and nods, "I think that's all. Do you have polish and cloth and things like that? You can use Cyclonus's, if you don't."

He stands up. "Those are in my berthroom, I can go get them if you want me to." She nods, and makes a shooing motion, so he hurries off and grabs them.

When he's retrieved them, he comes back and asks, "Will Ultra be joining us?"

"Absolutely not," Sari shakes her head. "He's so not allowed to. It'd be seen as you two breaking courtship and eloping."

He frowns, "Even with you coming with?"

She snorts, "The _AllSpark High Priestess_ coming with? Clearly you were doing some _fancy_ eloping."

Optimus refuses to blush. He lifts Sari up onto his shoulders, since Cyclonus is still being worked on by Perceptor. "I assume you have the ship waiting for us?"

"Hell yeah," Sari says, and kicks him lightly to spur him into moving. "And I picked out an awesome one, by the way."

He sighs, "You know I don't like how insanely expensive the things are that you choose."

She smirks at him, "Well, that's too bad, isn't it? Since I am actually choosing cheaper things than Ultra ever would." She pats him on the helmet as they walk out the door, "Blurr, take the datapads to work, and hand them to Cliffjumper."

"Yes,-ma'am," he salutes her sharply, and speeds out of the building faster than the optic can follow.

Optimus follows, making sure his door is secure after Perceptor and Cyclonus exit. "I assume the ship is waiting at the nearest dock?"

Sari scoffs at him, "Don't be ridiculous, Optimus." They step into the lobby, "That dock isn't big enough for the ship I got you."

He stops mid-step. "How ... large is this ship?"

"Well, they said it could carry up to fifty bots comfortably. And I'm pretty sure we're going to get lost in it, a lot. Oh, except it has really nice features, like little lines of lights to help guide you to various places if you voice activate them."

He forces himself to keep walking, "Why would you get this ship, then?"

"Cyclonus's optics lit up when I showed him a picture of it. Frankly, I'd say it is worth it. Look how happy he is!"

Optimus looks at the jetbot, and Cyclonus gives him a very blank stare. "... if you say so, Sari."

They transform and roll out — Cyclonus flying close above them. Sari chooses to transform and sit on top of Cyclonus, legs danging over the edge of one of his wings. It's a strange and intimate way to travel, and Optimus can understand why the news continues to waffle on whether the jet is her pet or her lover.

It takes awhile for them to get to the ship, and he winces at the size of it. He's uncertain _why_ he's going to need such a large ship, since they're only going to be gone a decacycle or so.

He won't ruin Sari's fun, though, so they board the ship without complaint.

"I got the biggest room for you, Optimus," she says with audible glee, before she pushes him into a room that is ... terrifyingly large. "I hope you _enjoy_ it." There are several boxes on the berth, and Optimus prays to Primus that they're not full of strange interfacing toys.

The door closes behind him, and he's left standing uselessly in the room. He glances behind him, and tries opening the door, only to find it locked. Blinking a bit in confusion, he takes a few steps in, and looks around.

It is really quite nice, even if the room is about half as large as his entire apartment. Walking over, he looks in the mirror, and studies his reflection. He looks far too shell-shocked for his liking, but it isn't like that isn't to be expected when you're suddenly dropped in a vacation.

The washrack looks like it was designed with orgies in mind, but his spare polishes and waxes fit on the shelf easily enough, and it looks like it ought to have decent spray pressure. He's unsure if the ship has a pilot, or is auto-piloted. There is a com console in his room, and he walks over to it, punching in Ultra's frequency.

The bot seems completely unsurprised when he answers, "Optimus. Are you doing well?"

"Did you know about this 'vacation'?"

Ultra beams at him, "I certainly did! I'm so glad you're finally taking a vacation. You'd been on planet for over a stellar cycle, and all you've taken off are the days we _made_ you leave. I'm sure you would have come in when the command center was closed if we didn't lock it up tightly."

"I wouldn't have," Optimus protests, giving his intended a sad look. "I would have preferred a vacation on Cybertron. Somewhere quiet. With you."

Ultra smiles at him, "It wouldn't have been appropriate."

Optimus sighs at the other bot, "But I _want_ to be with you."

Ultra looks over his shoulder, and smiles, "Go test out your berth and think of me since I won't be there." His intended blows him a kiss, and cuts the feed.

Two messages flash on the console screen, and Optimus opens them.

_Pick out the vacation you want, so we know which way to point the ship :P_

The trips outlined are fairly simplistic — three or four planets each, with various listed amenities and activities. The one he would prefer stops at smaller planets, including a spa planet he'd considered when he was in the academy, and ultimately rejected because he couldn't afford it. The other trip swings near the ninjabot planet, and its other stops are larger, flashier places, with more things to do. He knows Sari would prefer the second trip, so he selects it and closes the file.

There's a call that pops right up, and he accepts it. Sari glares at him from Cyclonus's lap, "You are a _liar_. Did you choose that one for me? This vacation is _yours_."

He looks over the jetbot's shoulder, Perceptor is sitting on the berth, writing in a datapad, "Why are they in your room, Sari?"

Sari rolls her eyes, "This is Percy's room, and don't change the subject."

"If you didn't think I would enjoy it, why would you even include it as a choice?" he asks, trying to be reasonable.

Sari crosses her arms and smirks at the camera. "It was a test. To see if you were capable of picking a nice, relaxing vacation for yourself. You failed."

He sighs, "So we're going to the other ones?"

She nods, "Of course we are. Ultra said something about how you like that spa planet. We'll be going there."

"I will agree to that _only_ if we find the time to stop by the ninjabot planet. I wouldn't be allowed there, but I know you will want to visit. I can wait in the ship for a day or two."

Sari narrows her eyes, "Maybe. But only if you be a good bot. I'd better not catch you doing any office work."

Optimus blinks at her, "Then what am I supposed to do?"

She snorts, "You have a room filled with datapads and a viewing screen. Do whatever the hell you want as long as it isn't work and doesn't break the courting." At his incredulous look, she rolls here eyes, and calls over her shoulder, "Percy."

The sciencebot raises an optic ridge, "Yes, Sari?"

"What would _you_ do if you were in Optimus's place?"

"I would be sampling high-grade and experimenting on the things I don't have permission to work on in the office." Percy tips his head to one side, "And I would be self-servicing frequently."

Sari makes a face, "Thanks for that." She taps a finger against the screen. "So go do something not work. Hell, watch giant robot cable, I know we get it on this ship. Watch a soap opera."

He sighs, "I don't think -" but she cuts the connection, and he frowns at the screen. He considers calling back to tell her to be polite, but he knows that's not really going to work. Instead, he wanders through his room.

He stops by a shelf, and picks up one of the datapads. Scrolling through it, he's surprised to see that it is filled with stories about various organic planets. _Complimentary_ stories about organic planets. He smiles, glad that Sari got a ship from a company that _wouldn't_ be rude to her.

The video screen gets flicked on to provide a bit of background noise—he's never been on a ship so _quiet_ as this one, and it actually makes him a bit nervous, to not hear the engines whining and growling around him. It's a gorgeous ship. And outlandishly expensive.

He looks through more things, unsure what to really do. Eventually, he settles into a chair. It has a electric current that syncs up to his energy signature, and he has trouble not dropping into a stasis nap from the comfortable it provides.

He vents a long, slow sigh, and decides to read the stories on the datapad. Sari will allow him out of the room eventually. He thinks.

Despite his best efforts, he does eventually drop into recharge.

He is woken by a comcall, putting his fingers to his temple, he hears Sari say, "Optimus! Do you know what time it is?"

He blinks and checks, he starts at how much later it is, "I'm sorry! I didn't know! I was rechar-"

She cuts him off, "It is time for you to _eat_. That is what time it is. You have a dispenser in there, you will use it."

He blinks, "I don't actually know where that is."

"It's right next to the com console, Optimus," Sari says, with the clear implication in her tone that he is an idiot for not noticing it. "And it's fine to recharge. You don't get enough as it is."

"I get plenty of recharge, Sari."

"Yeah, tell it to a bot who doesn't have the AllSpark whispering about how your systems need more sleep to be properly primed for sparkling care."

He sighs, heading over to the dispenser, "I'm not tired, though."

"You were _just_ asleep, Optimus! I had to wake you up to eat!"

"The chair has a current running through it to make it more comfortable, and I'm not used to that."

"Normal bots find that comfortable. They don't fall asleep from it."

Optimus sighs. "Agree to disagree on this. When are you going to let me out of the room?"

A wicked grin lights up Sari's features. "Oh, Optimus. _I'm_ not the one locking you in. That door is designed to keep you in until your energy and other system levels reach a decent percentage. You get out when you're healthy enough to get out."

He sighs, "And what percentage of what am I missing?"

"I'm not telling you until we get to the spa planet. If you can get out before then, awesome. If not, you just get to deal."

Optimus frowns at her. "That's not kind at all, Sari."

She laughs, "Dude, just get some sleep. Eat some nice energon, and," she makes a face, "get your charge levels balanced out." She cuts the call.

Optimus glances over at the berth, and the packages on top of it. Had she really just advised him to self-service? Why were they all recommending that?

He grabs a cube of energon before walking over to the berth. He sighs, may as well get this over with.

Pulling over a box, he takes a drink of energon before setting it to the side. Looking at the box, he waffles over if he should just open it to look at it all at once, or if he'll use them as he goes. Tapping his fingers over the top, he sits on the berth, only to blink tiredly. Maybe Sari _is_ right, and he's tired. The berth is far more comfortable than it has any reason to be.

He curls up beside one of the boxes and falls into recharge.

* * *

He checks his internal clock when he onlines, and discovers that nearly ten megacycles have passed. Optimus sits upright. That was a ridiculously long recharge time, especially considering that he'd recharged the previous evening just fine.

He sits up, stretching out, and his arm hits one of the boxes. Feeling a bit more relaxed, he pulls it onto his lap, and takes a drink from the cube he left to the side. He blinks in surprise at the taste of the energon, it is surprisingly plain, no additives, and he's happy for it.

Almost certain that the door won't let him leave, he opens the box and wishes he hadn't. There are dozens of interfacing toys and accessories inside. Nothing as horrifying as a fake spark, but things he'd rather not have seen, nonetheless. He picks up a static glove, meant to be worn over the servo while self stimulating, and winces. Primus.

He pokes through the box, and it is increasingly clear that someone had already looked through the box after it got packed. There is a place for everything to be put away, but several things are out of place or missing. He can see where a fake spark _should_ have been, but really isn't, and where that glove goes. He's half sure it was Sari looking through and removing anything that wasn't allowed, but he knows she wouldn't _touch_ any of it.

It's all brand new, but it still makes Optimus uncomfortable. The static glove brushes against his armor, and he shivers at the tiny shocks of electricity it produces. He gives it a long, careful look, before tucking it into his subspace. No one has to know. He'll be destroying the rest of these things, after all.

There's quite a few things missing in every box, and he can see, now that he's paying attention, that he's sitting in a place that clearly would have held a box. It must have been taken away beforehand.

Finishing his cube, he walks over to the door, and pushes it questioningly. It is still stubbornly locked; he's not really surprised. He gets another cube of energon, and sips on it, instead. Leaning on the wall, he stares at the boxes, not really sure where to put them, but not wanting to keep them on the _berth_.

* * *

Optimus has a processor-ache when he onlines. He immediately flushes with embarrassment, remember what he'd done while he was overcharged. Thank _Primus_ he hadn't tried calling Ultra while doing that. He pulls the glove off and shoves it into his subspace. It had felt so slagging good; he can't bring himself to leave the glove behind.

Sitting up, he holds his head, and is slightly amazed to see a vial full of green liquid next to the berth, where his empty cube of energon was. Normally he'd be worried that a bot has seen him if that happened, but he's pretty sure that a ship this fancy has cleaning systems that mean a bot doesn't go _near_ them.

Looking at the vial, he makes a face at how disgusting it looks, even if he knows it is just a remedy for a processor ache, and actually tastes quite good. It is a fairly new formula, too, just came out in the last stellar cycle. Shrugging, he drinks it, and is pleased at how it instantly fixes the pain. It is a really _good_ mix.

He tests the door, and it still won't let him out, but it makes a slight chiming sound. He assumes this is a good thing, and means he is close to the correct levels needed to be set free.

Optimus gives the dispenser a wary look, and he opens a comline to Sari. "Is there a way to get normal energon from the dispenser? I'll even take fancy blends, so long as it's not the highgrade it was slipping me last night."

"Maybe? I dunno. You can add them yourself, I guess. I don't really pay much attention to that sort of thing, Optimus."

He frowns at it, "Can you come here and do your AllSpark priestess thing to it?"

Sari scoffs, "And leave the beach I'm on? No way. This place is awesome, and they even give me food I can eat. There's a banana thing that tastes _exactly_ like a cheeseburger."

"Can you at least tell me what I'm missing from what I need to do to get out?"

"Charge balancing, eating, and sleeping. Just do those until it lets you out."

She could be so _very_ helpful when she wanted to be. Pity that she so rarely wanted to be. "Thank you for that."

Her voice goes distant and rich, "You were a very good bot, Optimus, picking out the best toy to self-service with."

He's _so glad_ no one can see his face, since he's bright red, "Can you... not do that, AllSpark? It's creepy."

There's a ethereal chuckle, and suddenly loud and angry cursing. "I did _not_ need to know that, AllSpark, fuck you."

Concern overwhelms him, "Are you alright, Sari? How often has it been ... possessing you recently?"

"Far more than I'd like," she mutters. "But it's already a little easier, I think. I needed this vacation, probably more than you."

"We can still go to the planets you'd like, Sari. We don't have to do the ones on this -"

She talks over him, "These are more relaxing, Optimus. I'm sure that by the end of it, I'll be fine. If I need a longer vacation, we'll take a longer vacation."

She won't be convinced otherwise over the comline, so Optimus concedes the point. "Alright." He hopes they don't take a longer vacation. He already misses Ultra. He'd gotten so used to seeing him nearly every solar cycle. "I'm going to fuel up more. And hopefully get free of this room."

"You do that," she laughs, before disconnecting the call.

Shuddering a little bit, he pokes at the dispenser. It beeps at him, and he's slightly amazed that it doesn't sound _angry_ like all the ones in his apartment. If anything, it sounds happy, which is a welcome change. Taking the cube it gives him, he's pleased to note that it isn't high-grade, even if it does have a few additives in it.

It's smooth and warm in his fuel tank, and it doesn't fuzz up his processor, which is all he can ask for at the moment. He tests the door, and it makes a louder chime. So he still needs recharge or ... self-servicing. He vents a sigh and heads to the berth, pulling the boxes of toys out from under it. He'll pick something different this time.

* * *

A cube and a half of energon end up in his tank—he would have taken more, but his tank still had energon from before he'd begun his self-servicing. He could always drink the rest later, so he put the remainder of the cube in his subspace. Expecting himself to be a bit sore, Optimus is pleasantly surprised to find how smoothly his joints move—as if they'd been freshly oiled and tooled. He really needs to self-service this way more often.

When he tries the door, it opens easily at his touch, and he steps through. Looking around, he is instantly lost, and wonders if he should just go back into his room and fall into recharge or read or call Ultra. He almost does, but it is a _vacation_, he should take advantage of it. He decides to com Sari, since she'd know what to do.

"You wanna know how to get out of the ship? Just tell it you want the exit. There are blinky lights all over the floors and walls. You can follow them out." She says something that's muffled to someone else, before speaking to him again, "And bring some good polish with you. This sand is doing awful things to Cyclonus, and I want him shiny. Yes, Percy. No, Percy, you don't need polish. You look fine. Go back to flirting and building your sand ... whatever it is. Giant sand robot of death."

Optimus chuckles. "Do you want me to just get my normal polish?"

"God no. You get the _good_ stuff. Ask the ship, it will just... _ping_. And suddenly, polish."

"... are you overcharged, Sari?"

"Don't be _ridiculous_, Optimus," Sari giggles, "I'm _drunk_."

He can't throw stones, not after the way he'd gotten overcharged the previous evening. "I'll be with you shortly, Sari. Try not to purge your tank until then."

"Pfft. I'm not _that_ drunk, Prime."

Cutting the com, he shakes his head. He starts to head back into his room to get the polish, but she _said_ to ask the ship. Feeling really silly, Optimus says, "Could I have some polish?"

There's suddenly a shelf filled with a great deal of polish and a selection of cleaning cloths. He looks through it all, and can't really tell what type is which, "... could I have the ... best polish?"

It retracts all but one, and a very nice cloth to use it with. Taking them both, he says, "Thank you. And the exit?"

A row of bright blue lights angles across the wall and down the corridor. "Thank you again." He follows the trail of lights through several passages and up a flight of stairs until he finds the exit. "You will lock up after I leave?"

"Affirmative," the shipboard AI says in a pleasantly neutral voice.

Optimus leaves, and takes the directions he'd been sent to find the beach.

When he gets there, he's slightly amazed at the fact that Perceptor is utterly _shameless_ in his flirting. He hadn't realized that the reason it was Perceptor that had flirted with Prowl and Jazz was because of how flirty he gets when overcharged. Shaking his head, he sits down next to Sari.

She's in a yellow swimsuit, and sipping on a not quite energon pink drink. "Optimus, did you bring me some sunglasses? I could use some sunglasses."

He gives her an amused look, "No, but I _did_ bring what you asked for earlier."

He starts to put the polish bottle down, only for Sari to call out, "Cyclonus, stop staring at the water, and get over here." Cyclonus takes the bottle and cloth from his servo, and sits down in the sand. "Who wants to polish my jetbot?"

A crowd of bots hovers anxiously nearby, and they all raise their servos and plead for the opportunity. Sari studies them and then turns to Cyclonus, "Pick whichever one you like best."

The jet looks at the other bots, head tipping slightly to one side. He lifts a servo and points to a tall, thin motorcyclebot. "Him. He reminds me of Oil Slick. But pretty."

She studies the bot, then nods. "I see it. Too bad he only has two wheels, though."

She gestures the gangly bot over, and Cyclonus hands him the polish and cloth. The bot bows, to both Sari and Optimus before starting to work on Cyclonus and saying, "Thank you, Priestess."

She rolls her eyes, "Sari. My name is _Sari_."

"Yes, of course, Sari." The bot rushes to apologize, focusing his attentions on polishing Cyclonus to perfection. Cyclonus watches the bikebot with something like curiosity. He touches one of the wheels on the bot's back, and the bot freezes, looking up at him with wide optics.

Sari sighs, "Just keep polishing. Cyclonus is still getting used to like, _feeling_ things."

The cyclebot nods, but starts leaning into the touches as he cleans. Optimus turns his attention to Perceptor, who is taking a tiny cube from a waiterbot, and flirting shamelessly. He murmurs softly to Sari, nodding to the sciencebot, "Has he been doing that the entire time?"

"Pretty much since the first sip of highgrade," she confirms. "It's pretty hilarious. I think he's trying to see how many offers he can get before deciding which one to accept."

Optimus waves the waiterbot away. He's fine on energon levels right now, and at least one of them needs to stay sober. "It's good to see him enjoying himself."

She nods, finishing up her drink, and snagging a new one before the waiterbot gets out of reach, "He's doing better than he _was_. No longer so damn close to a breakdown about the twins. I'd have brought Red Alert and Wheeljack, but they were both insanely busy. I think they did that to get their minds off things."

Optimus relaxes on the sand, which is a bit hard — he can feel it seeping into his joints, and will need to wash thoroughly later.

After a quiet klik or so, a pretty racecar bot with green stripes approaches them. "High ... High Priestess Sari?" He waits until she looks at him. "I have come to ... to make a formal request of you."

Sari takes a sip of her drink, which is purple now, with strange green swirls in it. "Seriously? Fine, whatever, go ahead and ask."

The bot taps his fingers together nervously, "I wanted to ask you to fix a problem we have with sparklings, High Priestess."

She rolls her eyes. "Done." She reaches over, and touches the bot, "There. You'll have a sparkling when you turn off your anti-sparkling protocols. Like, first time. _bam_!"

The bot stares at his chest, and hugs himself, clearly insanely happy about it, but still nervous, says, "That's actually not what I meant, not that I don't want this!" Sari raises an eyebrow, and the bot hurries on, "One of the former priestesses declared that all carbots that ever visit this planet could never have sparklings. We'd like you to fix that."

"That's monumentally stupid. Why would a priestess even do that?" Sari mutters and waves her servo, sparkpaint glowing bright blue. "There. Fixed. You shouldn't have any more trouble than any other bots trying to make sparklings."

The racecarbot looks at her in disbelief, but the vague stirrings of hope in his spark are visible on his face. "That's all? We don't have to set up a decacycle-long celebration for you before you remove the curse?"

She snorts, "Fuck that. I'm on _va-ca-tion_. That means I don't have ten days to put up with that sort of nonsense. If you _want_ to have a celebration, it should be because I already did this, not because I'm _going_ to. You wanted sparklings, you'll get sparklings. Go find a bot you like, and have one." The carbot looks like he's taking that as an order, and she sighs, "Take as long as you want, don't just find a bot and have a sparkling with them. There is no time limit on the blessing I gave you."

The bot looks like he's about to burst into sobs—either of joy or nerves or some strange combination of both. Optimus stands up and guides the bot over to a shady bit of sand near them. "I think you should rest for a bit. I'm sure you can share this good news later, if the other bots haven't already." The bot looks up at him with wet optics, and Optimus pats his shoulder. "Let me get you a drink." The bot just blinks at him, nodding blankly, and hugging his chest. Patting the bot on the top of the head, he snags a drink from an ecstatic looking waiterbot, and hands it to the carbot. "You're going to get _so many_ offers for this," he comments offhandily.

The bot blinks up at him, a small smile on his face, "I am, aren't I?" There's a small pause. "I've wanted a family for a really long time."

Optimus watches the bot sip the energon before he replies, "Yes, you are. Make sure you find someone you like. If you want a family, and not just a sparkling, you should choose someone you care about to be co-creator." He smiles to himself. "Ultra and I have been promised very blessed sparklings as well, if our courtship is successful."

The racecarbot stares at him blankly, before looking him up and down. "You're ... Optimus Prime?"

Optimus laughs, rubbing the back of his head nervously, "I'm not really used to bots not recognizing me, but yes, I am."

The carbot mutters something too low to hear, then says a bit louder, "Not many bots have an earth alt, I should have recognized you earlier."

Optimus smiles and shakes his head, "You were distracted by some _really_ good news, and before that were nervous about asking Sari for a favor. Don't worry about it."

"I hope I didn't upset you, or the High Priestess," the racecarbot worries, wringing his servos nervously.

"She prefers being called Sari," Optimus says, gently. "Keep calling her priestess and she'll start ignoring you."

The carbot shakes his head, "Only if she tells me to, sir. Calling the High Priestess by her name is the reason we had no carbot sparklings in the first place."

Raising an optic ride, he pulls the bot up, and walks them back over to Sari. "Want to explain that?"

He seems to grow more tense and nervous as they get closer to Sari. "Only if the High Priestess wishes to hear about it. I am sure she already knows, and does not wish to be bored by the story."

Sari arches an eyebrow. "No, tell me. The AllSpark went from smug to sulky when I took the curse away. I totally approve of things that make the AllSpark stop being smug."

"It isn't a very entertaining story, High Prieste-"

She gives him a dirty look, and interupts with, "Sari. My name is _Sari_. I'm not listening to you tell me a story if you keep going 'High Priestess' at me."

The carbot coughs, and sits in the sand, "If that's what you want, Hig-" he stops, frowns, and goes on, "_Sari_." She smiles at him, and he continues, "I will tell you, even though it is pretty short."

Sari rolls her eyes, "Well, get on with it, then."

He coughs again, and keeps his optics fixed on the ground. "One of the High Priestesses visited us long ago. There was a carbot on the planet, who had grown up with her. He ran up to the High Priestess and referred to her by her name, showing a complete lack of respect. We were then cursed." He looks up, "And then you came, and took our curse away. We can never thank you enough."

"Bullshit," Sari says flatly. "That's the stupidest reason for a curse _ever_. You don't have to thank me for lifting crap like that."

The carbot taps his fingertips together, looking back at the ground nervously, "We are still _very_ thankful, Hi-Sari. If you had not been so willing, we would have tried again in a vorn or two."

She rolls her eyes, "So stupid. Are there other planets that had this sort of shit happen to them? If so, I need to know so I can fix it."

The bot shrugs helplessly, "I don't know, Sari."

She sighs, "At least I was curious enough about how _smug_ the AllSpark was about this planet, or I'd have never come here. I'll be sure to take a tour of planets to fix past priestesses' utter stupidity."

The carbot blushes, in a way that even Optimus can recognize as very pretty. "I'm sure that everyone would appreciate that very much, Pri- ... Sari. I know you will have our eternal gratitude for this act."

"And I still say you don't need to thank me for not being a selfish, stuck-up prude." Sari makes a face of disgust, "I mean, fuck. I've straight-up been called a _whore_ by some bots. And I didn't smite them or anything, even if I wanted to."

The carbot, cyclebot, all the waiterbots, and any of the bots still hanging around, all give her an utterly horrified look. The cyclebot that's polishing Cyclonus whispers, "That's horrible, Pri-_Sari_. No one would dare do that to you here."

She sighs, "Well, they take one look at me, and think it. It isn't like I don't notice."

The cyclebot sinks down, "We never did."

Cyclonus pulls the cyclebot back, petting his frame absently. It was strange, seeing him so actively interested in another bot.

"I appreciate that," Sari says. "But I live in a ninjabot neighborhood now. It's pretty nice."

The bots give her shocked looks, and the carbot whispers, "You're a ninjabot?"

She snags another drink, this one yellow with a fruit that looks like it was cut into circles lining the edge, "That I am. I totally kicked the asses of all of the bots there when I had to fight to prove I was worthy, too. They shouldn't have underestimated me."

The bots exchange glances, and then the racecarbot inches forward. "We were wondering how many consorts you planned to take with you, when you leave our planet?" He gestures at all the bots surrounding them, and then at himself, "We are all available, and willing."

It is _very_ difficult for Optimus not to burst out laughing at Sari's expression. It is a mix of horror, disgust, and terror. She shakes her head, and shudders, "No. I'm not taking _any_ consorts. At all."

Perceptor leans over at that, commenting cheerfully, "She has no interest in bots at all. Which is better than not being interested in _anything_ like Cyclonus was... is? He's getting better."

Sari sips her drink, "I am so not anywhere near drunk enough to deal with ... consort talk." She looks at the bots. "I'm not interested. You heard the bot."

Perceptor nods so enthusiastically that he topples over onto the racecarbot's lap. Looking up at him, Perceptor's optic ridges draw together in confusion. "Why are you upside down? That seems like a very precarious way to travel."

The carbot looks like he isn't sure what to do, half wanting to flirt and half being scared since one of the High Priestess's companions is on his lap. "I... I'm not upside down."

Perceptor moves so he's sitting in the racecar's lap, arms around the back of the bot's neck, "So you are correct! Utterly fascinating." The sciencebot yanks the carbot into a demanding kiss, pulls away licking the other bot's lips and says cheerfully, "All the bots on this planet are so _pretty_."

Sari stands up while transforming into botmode, pulling Perceptor off the bot's lap, "And that's a clue we're done with the planet, I think. He's blessed, Percy. AllSpark will remove the both of your protocols if you 'face him. I'm not letting you lose _another_ kid."

Perceptor sighs, forlorn. "I will miss you, pretty bots." He waves as Sari starts to drag him away.

The motorcycle bot makes a distressed noise when Cyclonus picks him up, and Sari turns to look at them. "Put him down, Cyclonus."

Cyclonus runs his fingers over the bot's tires. "No."

She sighs, shoving Perceptor into Optimus's arms, "He isn't a _pet_, Cyclonus."

The cycle bot coughs into a servo nervously, "I would like to come with you, pr-Sari. If you'd let me."

She looks up at the mech, "... seriously? You're not just saying that because Cyclonus is holding you?"

"I have been wanting to get off this planet for ages now," he admits. "This would be a great opportunity for me. I don't mind taking care of Cyclonus for you."

She eyes him critically, "You do realize that he's probably never going to want to 'face you?"

The bot gives Cyclonus a slightly disappointed look, before steeling himself, "I don't mind. I _would_ really like to go with you, if you'd let me."

Sari looks at Cyclonus, who is playing with the bot's wheels, fingers spinning them curiously. "... Well, okay. I need your name and do you have anything you need to do before we go?"

"I have nothing vital. We were all prepared to leave immediately if you chose us." He looks up at Cyclonus, and then back at Sari, and says, "My name is Thrust."

"Welcome to the madhouse, Thrust," Sari says. "Really, if you've still got anything to do, or want to do anything, go do it. We're not on any strict schedule here."

Thrust shakes his head, "It may actually best if I just go. My team will understand."

She gives him a confused look, but they all start walking again, "You can call and talk to them if you want to. There's nothing that will be stopping you from doing that. We'll also be coming _back_ here sometimes. Really, you guys gave me a crate of the cheeseburger bananas. I'm not never coming back."

"You would allow me to visit my home?"

She nods, "Duh. You can even come back on your own, if you want. I mean, most of my money is tied up on Earth still, but we can work something out to get you here. I can always keep borrowing from Optimus, who _thinks_ he's being sneaky by transferring funds into my account here." She gives him a dark look. "I'm paying it all back after I figure out what you bots want to trade for."

Thrust leans into Cyclonus's touches, and just nods. They make it back to the ship without any problems, Optimus still carrying Perceptor, who is curled up against him, head tucked under his chin, and recharging. "Anything we need to do?"

Sari shakes her head, "Nah, I'll take Thrust to his roo-" - Cyclonus shakes his head, and pulls the Cyclebot away - "... Cyclonus's room. And then go to mine. You take Percy to his before going back to yours. If you need me, you can com."

Optimus has no idea where Perceptor's room is, so he asks the ship for directions. A string of gold lights flash, and he follows them to a room which is smaller than his own, but not by much. This ship had to have been built for mechs of Ultra's size or larger. He lays Perceptor on his berth, evading the bot when he tries to pull him down for a cuddle.

Patting the sciencebot on the head, he walks out of the room, and asks for his own. Following the red and blue lights, he makes it there easily. When he closes the door behind him, he sighs when it locks. It is most likely reacting to him not being fueled up, but it might also think he's tired. Deciding to ignore that, he walks over to the com console, and calls up Ultra.

The mech answers, and he looks rather tired, but his face lights up with a smile when he sees Optimus. "Hello there. Did you have a good day, Optimus?"

Optimus nods, "It was alright. It would have been better, but this room locks me inside if I don't meet its required levels of recharged, fuel, and" - he flushes - "charge balance."

Ultra leans closer, "That's _good_, Optimus. It was most likely chosen so you'd stay _healthy_. Some bots don't realize how bad they can get when they take a vacation. You need a healthy balance of... things."

Optimus blushes lightly, sitting in the comfortable charge to talk, "I miss you. Even though I've only been gone for a little while. I miss you and look forward to being with you again."

"I miss you as well," Ultra says quietly, pressing a servo to the screen briefly. "But you will be back, and we shall see each other. We went longer periods when you were still positioned on Earth."

"Yes, I suppose so." Optimus turns and gives the door a dark glare, before facing Ultra again. "I wouldn't mind this ... imprisonment so much if the door notified me of what I was lacking. It does not, so I end up doing," he ducks his head down, blushing again, "everything."

Ultra shifts in his seat, scooting a little bit closer, "There is _nothing_ wrong with that." His intended looks like he's trying to stop from doing something with his hands, "A balanced charge level, sleeping well, and being fueled up is very important."

Optimus vents a sigh, shifting in the chair to a more comfortable position — he does not _deliberately_ arch his back or push his chest forward. "Yes. And I did feel much better after I ... indulged myself." He dims his optics slightly.

Ultra leans forward, optics intent. "That's wonderful, Optimus. You're _supposed_ to feel better after. There's nothing quite like a ... balanced charge level to make you feel better."

Optimus shifts a little bit, running a servo along his arm, "I was much more relaxed after. Like I'd been freshly oiled."

"Was this the first time you'd ... indulged yourself long enough to feel that way?" Ultra grips the desk in front of him, to keep his servos occupied.

"Yes," Optimus admits, and he drops his servos to his thighs, rubbing slowly, as if to polish away a scratch. "It took much longer than I had anticipated. It was worth it."

He can hear Ultra rev at that, fingers almost denting the desk, "That's very good, Optimus. You're going to have to keep yourself healthy. I look forward to having you in my arms when you return. Healthy and happy."

Optimus stands and stretches, making sure the camera gets a good shot of his sparkplates — he wishes he'd had a chance to polish himself beforehand, to make them stand out more. He leans towards the camera and smiles. "I will, Ultra. Have a pleasant recharge tonight."

"I certainly will, Optimus," comes the faint reply. "I love you."

Optimus smiles, "I love you, too." He cuts the feed, and heads to the washrack. He has sand in his joints, and he wants that cleaned out before he self-services, and energon always tastes better if he's not distracted by little annoyances.

* * *

They reach Drox'nel the next solar cycle, and Optimus' spark is fluttering with anticipation in his chest. He's wanted to visit since he was in the Academy, and he's finally getting the chance. And in a much more luxurious fashion than he'd ever believed he would.

Optimus had been hoping to visit a few of the outlying resorts and find some place to get a full system maintenance service, and it had _still_ been out of his price range back then.

Sari just opened the door, first thing in the morning. "Okay, time for relaxation." She slaps his servo away from the dispenser, "No, you eat _on planet_ for this. I had them draw up this special energon mix for you and Percy. They're also going to do something for Thrust since I told them to."

"That's nice," he says, before she latches onto his servo and tugs him out of the room. "We will be staying on the ship?"

"Pfft, no," she rolls her optics at him. "We've got reservations at a really fancy hotel. I bet they put energon candy on your pillow."

He follows after her, naturally falling into the group as they walk. He murmurs distantly, "I never could have afforded this when I had wanted to go before."

She snorts, "Optimus, you're _second in command of the Autobots_. The only one that would get a better room than us is Ultra, and you're going to be _marrying_ him. They'd give it to you anyway."

"I spent most of my time in dormitories, and then in a small ship and an abandoned warehouse." Optimus eyes the hotel they are approaching with distrust. It's the largest, classiest, and most expensive one on the planet. "This places costs more for one night than what I used to make in an entire stellar cycle."

"And now you make in a day more than you made in a solar cycle, amazing how that works out, isn't it?" She steps in, and smiles at the bot that automatically greets them. Pointing at Optimus, she says, "He gets the full maintenance scan and updating first. Be sure to give him the fuel I specified. Nothing too fancy." She points at Perceptor, "Percy gets the fanciest energon you got, try to keep him away from high-grade unless you _want_ him hitting on you. He can choose what he gets after that." She points at Cyclonus, Thrust, then herself, "We are all going to test everything. I get the best food you said you could get for me, and Thrust is going to test whatever the hell you get, and Cyclonus will get what Thrust gets."

"Of course, Priestess Sari," the bot smiles, and several more converge on them, separating them from each other to take them where they need to go. "Let us get you settled in your rooms, and then we can begin your activities." He bows to all of them in turn, "I am sure you will enjoy your stay with us, at the Drox'nel Suites. Our com frequency has been listed in your quarters. Please do not hesitate to call if you have any requests. We pride ourselves on satisfying all your needs and desires."

Optimus is pulled away from everyone else, and he gives Sari a distressed look. She rolls her optics, "Go have fun, Optimus. Cyclonus, Rad, and I will be testing stuff. You go relax."

He's fairly sure that she meant Thrust, not Rad, and he nods, "If you say so, Sari." And lets himself be taken away. Turning to the bot, he sighs, "What am I doing first?"

"We will show you to your room, and then we have several options for you. We can start you out with a solvent soak, and get you into our top-class maintenance room, or we can skip the soak if you prefer and go straight to the maintenance. Do you have a preference?"

He shakes his head, "Does the soak help with the maintenance, or does it just feel nice?"

"It removes any contaminants from your frame, and makes it easier for the bots to fix you. Some don't like it because it can be too harsh on your protoform, since you need to remove your armor."

Ah. The side of maintenance he was _not_ looking forward to. He disliked being naked in protoform. "We can do the solvent soak. It's been far too long since I've had the opportunity for full system maintenance. I'm sure I need it."

The bot gives him a small smile, "If you decide you don't want it, you can always tell us, and we will help you out of the soak." They pause by a door, "This is your room, sir. Would you like to see it before we go to the soaking room?"

"I have nothing to put inside, so we can go to the soaking room." Optimus follows the bot, and is a bit surprised by the four hotel staff waiting inside.

One femme steps forward with a smile, "We will help you remove your armor."

Optimus raises his servos, "No, it's alright. I can do it myself."

The femme looks confused at his refusal, but steps back, "We are here if you need us."

He sighs and nods, removing his armor carefully, not really happy about it. He flinches away when one of the mechs steps forward and tries to help him with his helmet. The bot blinks in confusion, steps away, and puts two fingers to his temple, and starts to cringe and apologize. Optimus is fairly sure that's _Sari_ the mech is talking to, and he wonders how she got the frequency.

With his armor in a careful pile, Optimus steps towards a large pool of liquid. "That's the solvent?"

"It is, sir," the other mech informs him, reaching out to help him into it. Optimus stops himself from flinching when servos touch his exposed, delicate wiring. They will be performing maintenance on him later—he needs to get used to their touches.

Stepping in, he flinches at the sudden pain that comes from harsh chemicals cleaning him off. Shaking his head, he takes a calming ventilation before ducking all the way in. The worker bots around the pool give each other slightly amazed looks for some reason, then go to his armor to work on fixing that. The femme stands at the edge, "If you are in too much discomfort, you can come out. If not, staying in for two breems is the recommended length. Or half a megacycle if you think you can do it. The longer the better, really, but most bots prefer less."

He shifts in the solution, and his sensors go _insane_, screaming that his wires are being stripped. "I'll stay in as long as possible." Optimus dims his optics and pulls up one of the hidden work files he'd had in his processor: a list of diplomats he needs to familiarize himself with. It keeps his processor off the constant ache and burn of the solvent. It hurts less than being hit with a beam of AllSpark energy, but it lasts substantially longer.

It is a megacycle later when one of the mechs is yanking him out of the pool. Blinking, he moves so that he's out entirely, and there's suddenly a medic bot next to him, patching up an energon line. Pushing the bot away, he holds the damaged line closed, and pulls out a nanite salve that Ratchet gave him forever ago to put on it. "Am I ready to go to maintenance, then?"

The medic prods at a sensor, and Optimus hisses slightly, "Why are you doing that?"

The bot gives him a concerned look. "You let the solvent burn through one of your energon lines. You have damaged pain receptors somewhere. How could your own medic not have noticed this sooner?"

Optimus chuckles. Ratchet would be deeply amused to hear himself referred to as a personal medic. "I really don't know."

The medic glares at him, "Get on the maintenance table, sir, they'll be fixing you. If anything is too damaged, I'll be here to keep an optic on it, and fix it."

Optimus shakes his head, and walks over to the table all the bots are standing around. Slipping on to it, he says softly, "Is there anything specific I should be doing for this?"

"We begin by brushing the wires and gears clean, and then replace all the damaged ones," the femme explains, picking up a small, delicate brush. "After that, we will work on your sparkchamber wires, while we test and reset your joints."

Optimus thinks that sounds like an awful idea. "I would prefer to skip the sparkchamber work."

The femme frowns, "It really is recommended that yo-"

He crosses his arms over his chest, and shakes his head, "No way. It isn't happening, and I'm kind of surprised Sari said you could. That sort of thing would normally invalidate the courting." He pauses, "In fact..." he puts a finger to his temple, one arm still over his sparkplates, "Sari? Did you tell them they could work on my sparkchamber wires?"

"Frag no," she groans, and makes appreciative little noises, "told them to stay away from them." Instead of being terribly angry, she sounds ... distracted. "God, did you know they have _ice cream_ here? It's _weird_ ice cream, but at this point, it is like an orgasm for my taste-buds."

He shakes his head in amusement, "I'm glad you're enjoying this, Sari. I'll leave you be, then." Sari doesn't even answer, just disconnects the call. He smiles, and shakes his head again before narrowing his optics at the femme, "You were told not to come near my sparkchamber wires. I don't care how recommended it is, I'm not invalidating the courting."

The femme nods. "If you do not want it, we will not perform it. However, I would recommend that you have the maintenance done at some point. Our trained medic could perform it for you, or you could have your own medic do the procedure in the future."

Optimus considers the request. "Can I decide later?"

"Of course. Our medic will be standing by if you choose to allow him to work on you."

He nods hesitantly, he'll most likely have Ratchet do it, since he'll feel safer if a stranger _isn't_ near his spark, "I'll think about it." He lays down on the table, and they start to work on him.

It feels amazing, after the chemical soak, to have tiny brushes sweeping his wires clean, and then to have older wires trimmed and replaced with new ones. Several internal gears that should have been replaced stellar cycles ago get replaced now, and Optimus almost falls into recharge several times. He just wishes there were fewer bots doing this work on his vulnerable protoform.

When they finish, he's moving much easier than he was before. He hadn't realized that he'd broken _several_ gears before, and just hadn't noticed. When he's putting back on his armor, the medic is looking at a datapad with all the read out of what was wrong, and frowning. "Did you know your pain receptors were turned up to register at double the normal amount?"

He raises an optic ridge, "Really? I suppose Ratchet must have done it to keep me from doing anything stupid."

"Like sitting in a chemical soak for a full megacycle?"

Optimus smiles. "He was probably hoping I wouldn't run headlong into a fight. I only fight when it's necessary, and it's really quite startling how little you notice minor injuries when you are trying to save lives."

The medic gives him a sour look, "Maybe I should put the pain receptors at triple power."

Optimus extends his arm, access hatch opening, "If that's what you think is best, then you do it. I still will most likely do the exact same thing, though. I don't like seeing people get hurt. My pain is nothing in comparison to someone else's."

The medic sighs, closing the hatch. "You just go do whatever it is you have scheduled next. I'm not going to deal with your stupidity when you already _have_ a medic working on it."

Optimus pats the bot on his back, "If it's any consolation, I'm sure Ratchet would be willing to share his com frequency so you can both grumble about my stubbornness." The medic only glares at him with a patented medic glare. It makes Optimus's mouth curl up in a wide grin.

"What do we have scheduled next?" Optimus asks, stretching carefully to make sure all of his armor is attached properly.

A bot steps next to him, "You are going to be fueling up, and having a solar bath."

Shrugging, he follows the mech out, "Sounds fine to me. I know Sari said what kind of energon I like, but I'd like to specify _non_ high-grade. I'd prefer a clear processor."

"We only provide high-grade if a client asks for it," the mech reassures him. "Along with a variety of other services." He leads Optimus to an open courtyard lined with various crystals that radiate heat. "If you will pick a spot to lay down, I will return with your energon."

He wanders through until he finds crystals that are blue and white, making him think of Ultra. Touching them, the thought of his intended warms his spark, so he settles next to the cluster.

The bot returns with several cubes of energon, and he places them next to Optimus. "Cora crystals. An excellent choice. They are both visually appealing and they radiate special waves of light that encourage nanite activity cycles." He gestures at the energon, "And your energon has been specially formulated to provide you with nutrients without altering the taste. We hope you enjoy it."

Taking the cube, he sighs slightly, it isn't quite plain, but is possibly the closest he's going to get. "Thank you. Just tell me what I should do next." He pauses, "Actually, can you get me a few datapads? I only have one that isn't blank with me, and I'm sure you have some good recommendations."

The bot nods, "Do you enjoy any particular author or subject?"

"Organic-friendly narratives and historical documentary are both rather fascinating," Optimus says, relaxing from the heat of the crystals. It makes his joints feel almost liquid.

The bot excuses himself and Optimus barely notices. He wonders if he can get some of these crystals to take home, they are utterly wonderful. He realizes he'll probably have to grow them to this size, but if they're like this, it would be completely worth it. Maybe get some red ones, since Ultra would want ones that make his intended think of _him_.

He's interrupted from his sleepy musing by the bot returning with a stack of datapads. Glancing through them, he sighs. "I've already read all of these before. You even have one by Ultra in here. Could you check if you have more... up to date publications? Steamgear and Thundercrash are very good authors about this sort of thing. And so is Turbofrost; I haven't read his latest."

"I don't believe we have them in our archives, but we would be happy to download them for you." The bot takes the pads away with him, and Optimus nestles back down, surrounded by warm crystals. He draws up a proposal to include organic-friendly materials into a bot's standard education. It won't go over well with the more ... conservative members of the council and the various planets that take Autobot orders, but it's necessary.

He's a few screens in for the proposal when he's interrupted by the nervous bot bringing him datapads, "We couldn't find any by Steamgear, but these other authors were recommended if you like Thundercrash."

He looks through the pads, and hands back several of them, "Most of these are filled with misinformation, and are by authors only pretending to like organics to try to make bots dislike them. I'd advise _against_ giving them to any bots asking for pro-organic writing. Vectorspike is a sensationalist writer that has been trying to discredit Ultra for vorns."

"Oh," the bot looks at the pads in dismay. "I suppose we could get you historical documentary instead? I know we have a large collection of those. Would you prefer that"

"I wouldn't mind having a few, but the datapads by Turbofrost and Thundercrash will do for now." Optimus opens the files on the most recent one, pleased by the fact that they'd managed to find it for him.

The bot takes off, and he lets himself get absorbed in reading. He stops part way through, and shifts a little closer to the crystals, because the warmth and healing it is promoting feels wonderful. He returns to reading, and is interrupted about a breem later with the bot bringing him another cube of energon and the datapads, "You barely touched your energon, so we got you another cube. And check through these, and tell us which ones you would prefer."

He sips at the energon and skims the various pads, rejecting the ones that are too full of blatant Autobot propaganda. He's discovered he prefers neutral coverage of the past, as it tends to be a bit more accurate in terms of what _actually_ happened. The staff bot seems a bit puzzled by the pads he hands back, but takes them without comment.

He reads through them, making a point of drinking the energon as he goes, barely paying attention as the cube is replaced when it is emptied. It is several megacycles later that a staff bot, gently distracts him. "Sir? It is getting dark, and the crystals will be cooling down soon. If you wish, we can take you to a different area, or escort you to your room."

"I could do with some recharge now," Optimus says, getting up, pleased to find himself feeling better than he has in millennia. "I was wondering about these ... Cora crystals? It must take a very long time to grow them to this size. Do you know where I could purchase a few?"

The bot looks at him for a little bit, "We were told to inform Sari if you wanted them. Is there any prefrence for what you want of them? We will be certain to tell her."

Optimus tilts his head, "Well, I really like the blue and white ones, but I know Ultra would like me to get red, too. But don't tell her to only get those colors, I'm pretty sure we could get everything for the rest of the team. I saw a _gold_ one. I think that Prowl would like that."

"We will inform her of your preferences, sir," the bot offers him a servo, "can I help you to your room now?"

He waves off the servo. "You can show me where my room is again. This place is so large, I'm sure I'll end up lost."

The bot nods, and leads him to his room, opening the door for him, "If you need anything, the frequency is right on the com console. You are welcome to request anything you'd like."

Armor still warm from the sun and crystals, Optimus sprawls out on the berth, and slides his sparkplates open. He wants to overload himself, and then recharge. And possibly online early to call Ultra. Optimus plans to be polishing himself during that call.

* * *

He searches through the various polishes in the washrack, before settling on the one he knows that Starscream used on him. He wants to overwrite the bad memories he associates with it with good ones of Ultra, and this will go a long way toward that goal. Walking into the room, he sets everything up carefully next to the berth before calling Ultra.

He is sitting on the berth and starting to pour the polish onto the cloth when Ultra answers. He doesn't say anything for a moment before looking at his intended with dim optics and murmuring, "Good morning, Ultra. Did you recharge well?"

Ultra watches him intently, "I did. I admit I was disappointed that you did not call me last night."

Optimus rubs the cloth along one arm, working the polish into his armor and transformation seams. "I was rather tired. I had system maintenance done, and it began with a chemical soak that was rather harsh."

Ultra shifts slightly, moving a little closer. "Not too harsh, I hope."

He pours a little more polish into the cloth, working on his fingers, "It wasn't the worst feeling I've had. Certainly not the best, but not the worst." He works on his neck cabling, "The medic said I had my pain receptors set too high, and they fixed that."

"I'm glad," Ultra says, distractedly.

Optimus slides the polishing cloth up and teases his headfins, working polish into every little groove and hinge on the delicate antennae. His spark pulses, and he has to drag the cloth away, despite not having them as shiny as he'd like.

He moves down his frame, avoiding his sparkplates, working on his waist instead, "I wish you were here to help with this, I never got the hang of polishing my back. I suppose that will just have to be something we can look forward to later. I'll have to teach you how I do the polishing, though." His optics dim. "Won't that be fun?"

Ultra's engine revs audibly, and his optics flash. "I look forward to it. I am sure it will be most ... educational."

Optimus dips his finger in the polish, and rubs along his armor seams—a trick to make them shine brighter that Starscream had often used on him.

He starts working on his legs. "I think it will." He pays extra attention to the transformation seams. "I was told by the bot working here that they sell crystals. Cora crystals, if I remember right. They felt quite wonderful when I was next to them after maintenance. I'm hoping to get some."

"Cora crystals would look lovely in the courtyard I have behind my home," Ultra says, and he smiles at Optimus. "You could put some there, and then we could both enjoy them together."

Optimus flushes faintly, imagining himself curled up against Ultra's side, bathed in the intense, soothing heat of the crystals.

He looks out from under the brim of his helmet at Ultra, "That would be really wonderful. I was thinking the blue and white ones, but I saw all sorts of colors." He starts to polish his ped tires. "You will most likely want me to get red ones as well."

"I most certainly _do_ want you to get red ones," Ultra hums, servos gripping the arms of his chair. "We will make frequent use of them, after we cultivate them to an appropriate size."

Optimus nods, "Of course. I would love spending time with you, surrounded by crystals."

He starts to work on his back, giving Ultra a very nice view of his chest plates, and his intended hums happily, "I will look forward to being able to do that for you. You look a little uncomfortable."

"I am, a bit," Optimus admits. He'll com Sari and request help after he finishes talking to Ultra. "It will be very, very nice to have your servos helping me."

Ultra's engine revs, "I'd be helping you right now, if I could."

Optimus smiles, "Of course, but you won't be able to do the _full_ polish until we bond."

Ultra raises an optic ride, but keeps his optics firmly on Optimus' chestplates, "What do you mean?"

"It's essentially a Seeker polishing style, Ultra," Optimus chides him. "How do you think a proper full polishing session will end?"

His mech's engine practically roars now, and Optimus hides a smile. "I see. We will have to wait, then."

He pours a little more polish on the cloth, and rests it on his chest, "As I said before, I look forward to it. You should go to work, Ultra. Think of me." He blows a kiss. "I love you."

Ultra's optics dart between the cloth and Optimus's optics. "I love you too." Optimus rewards him by beginning to polish his sparkplates, rubbing slow, small circles letting Ultra see only a fraction of a second of it before he cuts the call.

He drops from posing seductively into a more comfortable position, and polishes his sparkplates in a significantly more businesslike fashion, but getting them up to the same shine that everything else is. He doesn't need the insane amount of polishing on them that Starscream would have done, but he also isn't trying to force himself to open up. He shudders and makes a face at the thought of being held by _Starscream_ again.

* * *

**Please review**

Okay, pulled out porn from this, so you need to check out my journal, which is the homepage link on my profile.

Remember, Vivienne is the only reason that this is even out, since she did all the italics :V

And, we really love reading the reviews from you guys :3


	7. Chapter 7

Okay guys, I need you all to realize something, I _can not _respond to you if you do not leave me contact information. I don't like it when someone responds to reviews _in the story. _It is possibly one of my larger pet peeves. I know most of you get a happy trill when you read your name mentioned in the notes, but the people reading the fic later get all irritated by it. It really isn't something you can do politely. _Please leave an email or something if you want a response. _Get an account! It is free, and they don't sign you up for spam mail or anything! All it does is make me sad that I can't answer you if you ask a question in anonymous reviews.

Thanks to Vivienne for doing Italics, or this wouldn't be out at all.

Disclaimer: Not mine

* * *

Giving up on getting his back any better, Optimus opens a comline to Sari. "I was wondering if you could loan me Cyclonus for a bit. I need help polishing."

"You need help. . . polishing?" Sari asks, disbelieving. "Primus, I'm glad you didn't ask the hotel for help."

He's not really sure why that is, so he just ignores it. "Will he come and help, though? I really can't reach my back."

"Yeah, I'll be coming with, and so will Buster."

Optimus sighs, "You _could_ call Thrust by his actual name, you know."

"No, I can't."

And she severs the call before he can reply. It is always frustrating when she does that.

Optimus notices the box of interfacing toys underneath his berth and flushes, shoving it as far back against the wall as possible. No need to advertise that he's been experimenting with them all.

He cleans up everything nervously, not that there's much _to_ clean, and waits for Sari and the others to show up.

He's unsurprised to see the door just open for Cyclonus; the jetbot is holding Thrust in his arms, and Sari is on his shoulder. She slips off the mech easily, and tsks at Optimus, "You were being _naughty_. You were polishing while talking to Ultra."

Optimus gives her a blank look. "Naughty? I was only trying to give myself a polish. I even turned the call off before polishing my sparkplates."

She walks over to him, and runs a finger along his leg. "Because looking like a seeker polished you is completely innocent. Right." She snaps her fingers, and Cyclonus reluctantly puts Thrust on the ground and walks over to the berth. "Do you know how to do seeker polishing?"

Cyclonus nods and picks up a polishing cloth. He adjusts Thrust so he's nearby, and pushes a second polishing cloth into the bikebot's servos. "I will teach you."

Optimus isn't sure he wants a stranger bot polishing him this way, but he doesn't protest. For now.

He lets Cyclonus push him so his back is exposed as he lies down, and they get to work. Sari walks on the berth so he can look at her, and she pats him on the head, "We're going to be spending extra time here. You don't mind, do you?"

He shakes his head, "I'd actually feel a bit silly being all polished like this if we're just going to be in the ship."

Sari pets his helmet. "You're really shiny right now. I like it. I can use you as a mirror."

Optimus shakes his head. "You're being ridiculous. I'm not _that_ shiny."

She moves a little bit, clearly checking her reflection, "Sure seems like that to me." He stretches a bit. "I'm glad you're willing to go to such lengths to look nice for Ultra."

He gives her a confused look, shifting a bit so Thrust and Cyclonus can get to another part of his back unconsciously, "I thought you didn't like Ultra."

She scoffs, "He's a dirty old man, but this shows you really _do_ love him. Love him enough to care about your appearance."

"He likes it when I'm well-polished. I see no reason not to indulge that every now and then." And it felt nice to have bots who were not Starscream helping him.

Sari us poking him right between the optics. "You want to be pretty for him. That's okay."

He blushes faintly. "It is nice to look nice sometimes."

She smiles at him. "It is."

Optimus glances back over his shoulder. "Get your servo off my aft, Cyclonus. I don't need help polishing that."

The jetbot stares at him for a long moment, and then returns to what he was doing. Optimus sighs. "Sari," he begins to complain, and she walks over and punches Cyclonus's ped.

"Focus on his back. I know this is what a seeker would do, but keep your servos off aft and sparkplates. Headfins too."

Cyclonus gives her a blank look, but does as directed, while Thrust gives her a nervous look, but continues to work on Optimus. "Why are we polishing him like seekers?" the latest addition to the group enquires.

She snorts, "Because, Radical, he was using a seeker technique to polish himself in front of Ultra. We aren't letting him remain unfinished."

Thrust looks confused, but he continues to polish the way Cyclonus showed him to. "Do you interact with seekers frequently?"

"All the fragging time. We all take turns sparklingsitting for them. You'll end up doing it too, if you don't run off screaming first."

The cyclebot seems to shrink in on himself, "I'll try my best, Pri-Sari."

She reaches over and pats the bot on the head. "If you don't do well, you won't be stopped from going home. You aren't obligated to stay, no matter how much Cyclonus will pout if you leave."

"I won't disappoint you," he insists, and Sari flicks his helmet.

"I don't care if you get scared of the seekers. Lots of bots do. Just remember to keep your servos off their wings unless they invite you to touch them, and for the love of fuck, don't let them start _singing_."

Thrust gives her a confused look, "Singing?"

Optimus and Sari shudder. The priestess says, "They can't sing, but for some reason they keep trying."

Optimus sighs. "I think that's because of Scatterstar, really. He sang them that lullaby all the time when he was with them."

"Fragging Scatterstar," Sari curses. "Little bot was crazy in the head. They _kidnap_ him, and he goes and falls in love with Skywarp."

Optimus gets moved by Cyclonus, more of his frame getting worked on, and Thruster just sits there helplessly. "I... I don't know who that is."

Sari and Optimus exchange a look, and she sighs, "I'll explain later. If you decide not to return to your planet, you'll learn as you go. Don't worry about it."

"I will try my best," Thrust promises, setting the polishing cloth down. "I think we are finished."

Across from him, Cyclonus shrugs and drops his cloth, pulling Thrust into his arms. Optimus stands and stretches, watching the cyclebot adjust himself into a more comfortable position. He wonders what the bot will end up doing after they return to Cybertron. Optimus can't imagine _anyone_ would be happy living purely as some kind of ... pet bot.

Perhaps Cyclonus. But even he was starting to show signs of other interests.

Looking around, he shrugs. "What am I supposed to do today?"

Sari frowns, "I'm not really sure. I was planning on having these two have maintenance done, but you already had that. You can come with us, and we can check with the staff. Have you fueled up?"

"I haven't had a chance yet," Optimus admits, and his tanks send up a low fuel notification in response. So very useful, those warnings.

Sari snaps her fingers at Cyclonus. "Go get energon for us. His dispenser is just over there."

The jetbot walks over, and comes back with three cubes, handing one to Thrust and Optimus while keeping one to himself. The bot then reaches into his sub-space and hands Sari something Optimus can't recognize only for it to get pushed away. Thrust taps his fingers together. "Did you want me to go get you something else to eat?"

She shakes her head, "I'm going to be ordering something from here, I want to know what else they have. Maybe some sort of eggs? I could kill for a pancake."

Optimus has a recipe for breakfast foods in his files, and he sends it attached to a message to the hotel kitchen. If they've stocked up on supplies, they should be able to cobble something together for Sari. "I was never that impressed with organic food."

"That's because Prowl made you eat shitty vegetarian food. Don't get me wrong, vegetarian stuff can be great, but Prowl gave you salads from a fast-food chain. That's the epitome of gross."

Thrust looks confused, but they ignore him. Optimus drinks his energon. "I really wouldn't know. You liked the place."

"And I ate _burgers_ there. Not salads. There's a pretty large difference in that. Bulkhead was happy with it."

Finishing his energon, Optimus only offers her a shrug. "I sent a request down for you. Do you want to wait until they bring it up, or go to the restaurant downstairs?"

Sari bites her lip, thinking hard. "Man, I've had to go to enough formal dinner parties. I don't want to have to sit there with the chef hovering, and pretend it tastes amazing if it actually tastes like dog food."

"You said they had ice cream. They don't do _too_ badly, do they?"

She sighs, "They did okay on the other stuff. But they are no New Axis. They seemed pretty amazed I could eat frozen things, and had been apologizing the entire time about it."

"Energon is nearly impossible to freeze, and inedible when it is made that way," Optimus explains. "They likely assumed human food was the same."

Sari arches an eyebrow at him. "Really? Well, we'll see about that. First energon popsicle I make I'm feeding to you."

He gives her a confused look. "I don't know how well that will work, Sari."

She smiles, "It's a brand new project to work on. I'll be sure to talk to my company back on earth about it. Rust and Cyclonus can be the testers." She pauses. "And any non-carrying seekers and Bee, of course."

"I hope you succeed." Optimus gives her a quick hug, careful not to ruin his polish. The door chimes, and a waiterbot brings a service table full of ... things. Most of them appear edible, at least when compared to the various foods he'd seen Sari consume over the stellar cycles.

She pokes at what _might_ be pancakes, if a pancake was significantly more egg than anything else. She gives the waiterbot a small smile, "Thank you. I'll be sure to tell the chef what I think when I finish."

The waiterbot gives her a strained smile, "Thank you, ... Priestess. Would you like me to st-"

She waves him off. "No, that's fine. Thank you." The bot gives her another strained smile and takes off. She rolls her eyes, and prods the food. "Most of these dickbots think I'm your whore, Optimus."

"And most of my classmates assumed I was using my spark to pass my classes," Optimus gets himself another cube of energon to drink. "As much as I would _like_ to teach them a ... lesson about etiquette and organic appreciation, we're not going to be on this planet anywhere near long enough for it to be effective."

Saro sighs, "Sadly." She takes a bite of the not-really-a-pancake. "I'm kind of amazed they thought of silverware, though. They even got me _plates_! How did they do that? Yesterday everything was in cubes."

"They might have picked it up from the files I sent with recipes. There were a variety of images included to help illustrate what they should be looking for." He sighs, "Along with a list of the chemical composition of foods that you could _not_ eat, or I know you strongly dislike. I hope they read that one."

She shrugs, taking a bite out of each dish, "They seem to have. It all tastes pretty okay, and the AllSpark isn't screaming at me about something that will kill me."

He pokes the cube of a liquid off to the side. "Can you drink this?"

She sips it, and makes a face. "It is pretty disgusting, actually. Get me a bottle of water, Cyclonus."

The jetbot retrieves a bottle of water obediently, handing it to her. She drinks it and sighs, "Much better. Gotta love good old H2O."

The food is really quite fascinating. Most of it is done up in Autobot-sized portions, and there's no way Sari could eat it all, even if she were starving.

She picks and chooses through them, and Thrust looks at it curiously. "Could I try it, Pr-Sari?"

She laughs softly, "I don't think you _could_ eat any, but you're welcome to if that's what you want."

Picking up a tiny piece of some kind of fruit, Thrust holds it in front of his optics and studies it, before cautiously sticking out his glossa to lick it. His optics narrow. "It is ... strange." The fruit is crushed between his denta, and the bot chews, and Optimus can't help his smile when the bot's expression shifts to one of utter disgust.

Sari snickers, "Not very good, huh?" Thrust nods, but swallows what he tried, anyway. Sari reaches into her own sub-space, making a face as she does so. "I'm going to give you something that a friend of mine made me, and I'm told is the best thing any bot has ever tasted. You're going to have to share with Optimus and Cyclonus, though."

Optimus perks up. Was she going to give them the energon candy Oil Slick had made for her? He certainly hopes so.

She displays a single piece of candy and tears it into three pieces, offering one to each of the bots. Optimus takes his and feels utterly shameful and indulgent when it melts on his glossa. He offlines his optics to enjoy it better, and isn't surprised to hear Thrust make absolutely _filthy_ noises as he enjoys his.

He's licking and nibbling his fingers, trying to get it all, and when he onlines his optics, Thrust is staring at Sari's slightly pink fingers intently.

Cyclonus drops to his knees and takes Sari's hand, curling his glossa around her fingers to get the candy residue off. She makes a face and smacks his antennae. "Gross. Don't lick my hand. Now I'm going to have to wash your germs off."

She pulls out a napkin and cleans off her hands, making Thrust and Optimus whine unhappily. Thrust looks at the napkin and then at her, "Priestess..."

She gives the bot a dirty look, "No, Rad," she pauses when Thrust flinches, then continues, "you may _not_ eat the napkin. I don't care how delicious you think that stuff is, you'll get _sick_."

"Of course, Priestess," he murmurs, ducking his head down. "I'm sorry."

Sari smacks his shoulder. "Don't be like that. I'm just not cleaning up any more puke. It was bad enough when Cyclonus ate a napkin. And several sheets of paper."

The cyclebot blushes faintly. "I wouldn't do that, Priestess."

She sighs, "And stop calling me that. You seem pretty insistent on living with me, so you are going to have to get used to calling me by my _name_."

Thrust starts to whisper his acceptance only to get spoken over by Optimus, "Sari, I don't think that's very fair when you can't get _his_ name right."

"Oh, I'm getting his name right, aren't I, Rad?" she asks, saccharine sweet, and the bot flinches again.

"I," he ducks his head again, "yes."

Optimus frowns at them both, "Is he just agreeing because he thinks you're going to curse New Axis?"

Thrust shakes his head, and Sari reaches over to pat the cyclebot's head, "He lied about his name. Didn't you, _Thrust_?"

The mech shivers unhappily, and whispers softly, "I like that name better."

"I don't like it when bots lie to me, Thrust," Sari says patiently, "because the AllSpark informs me that they're lying." The bot looks utterly miserable now, and she pets his fairings. "I'm glad the only thing you were lying about was your name."

The bot whimpers, "I wouldn't lie to you about something important, Priestess."

She sighs. "And your _name_ isn't important?"

He flinches again, but stops shivering when she smiles kindly at him, "I don't like being called Rad, Priestess."

"Hey," she grins, "at least you're not named Overload or Hotspark. Those were some unfortunate bots."

Thrust blinks. "There are bots named Overload and Hotspark?"

Sari nods, "There are, or so the AllSpark tells me. I feel rather sorry for them, really."

The cyclebot gives her a sad look. "So you aren't mad at me, Priestess?"

"Not much. Just don't go lying to me again." She pauses, "Unless it's a good lie. Like, for surprise birthday parties. Feel free to lie about that kind of stuff."

Thrust just gives her a confused look.

Optimus pats the cyclebot on the shoulder, "That's a human thing, Don't worry about it."

Thrust puts his servos in his lap, and stares at the floor while murmuring softly, "Yes, Priestess. Yes, sir."

"You don't have to be so formal. Seriously, we're not the Spanish Inquisition." Sari pats one of his tires. "You'll do fine. Just be yourself, as stupid and cliché as that sounds."

Thrust flinches, "Y-yes, Priestess."

She sighs, and gestures at Cyclonus, who picks up the cyclebot and cuddles him. She looks at the mech, and shakes her head, "Want to tell me _why_ you're reverting into the terrified little bot that was hiding at the back of the crowd on the beach? You were doing so well once you came with us."

"I was trained to be a consort, Priestess," he says quietly, keeping his optics averted. "It was unacceptable of me to lie to you the way I did. I will accept whatever punishment you wish to have me undergo."

She sighs softly, stepping away from the food, "I'm not going to punish you for wanting not to be called _Rad_, Thrust. If I was really angry about that, do you think you'd even get to know about the candy I gave you?"

He glances up at her, and then up at Cyclonus. "You're serious?"

"She is," Optimus says kindly. "Sari is a good person, Thrust. She won't take advantage of you like that, and she doesn't delight in hurting anyone."

Thrust curls up in Cyclonus's arms, looking like he's about to say something when Sari puts up a hand to keep him quiet and fingers to her temple. "Yes, Percy? ... I'm in Optimus's room. No, don't come here, I'll come to get you and we can all head to maintenance. ... Then shove them out. I don't care if they want to meet Optimus. They'll only try to invalidate the courting, and you know it. ... Yeah, okay. I'll tell him. Bye, Percy." She turns to Cyclonus. "Percy will be a bit indisposed for coding, but we'll get to it later today."

Cyclonus only shrugs, before returning to playing with Thrust's tires, spinning them idly. It looks as if Thrust is having a very hard time not rubbing his sparkplates against the jetbot. Optimus feels sorry for the little cyclebot.

Sari slips off the berth, "And I think you need to test out energon, Optimus. Cyclonus, Thrust, and Percy are going to do maintenance while you test energon today. If you get overcharged, you can just stay in the room." She pauses. "Or by the crystals. You liked the crystals."

"I do like the crystals," Optimus agrees. "I do hope you manage to get some of the red ones, to go with all the blue."

Sari gives him a long, careful look. "Yeah. We'll see."

Optimus looks at the floor, murmuring sadly, "I just think Ultra would like them."

Sari sighs, "Stop looking like a kicked puppy, I know Ultra will like the red ones." She pauses, glaring at nothing, before continuing, "I'm not getting anything too large, and I think you'll like growing them."

He straightens up, smiling. "I _would_ like to learn how to grow crystals. I could keep them in my spare rooms."

"Yeah, of course you could." She grabs his servo and drags him out the door, leading him to a private tasting room. Optimus notes the comfortable couch — likely designed so he can curl up and offline if he drinks too much energon and gets drowsy. Or overcharged.

Sari puts him there, and then goes to talk to one of the staffbots. He's not really sure what to do, and Cyclonus sits next to him, Thrust still wriggling in the jetbot's arms. He watches as Sari talks with the staff for a little bit before saying, "I'm glad you're more interested in things, Cyclonus. Perceptor is doing a wonderful job, isn't he?"

Cyclonus nods once, before he bends forward and licks the corner of Thrust's mouth. The smaller bot's optics widen, and Cyclonus pulls back to study him. "There was energon on you."

"... oh," Thrust says weakly, and looks over at Optimus. "What do you mean interested in things?"

Ignoring how Cylonus returns to playing with the cyclebot's wheels, he responds, "Cyclonus wasn't really paying attention to anything, so Perceptor is fixing his code."

The cyclebot is biting his lip now, flushed with heat as curious fingers play with his tire treads. "That's ... I'm glad he is being repaired."

Optimus nods in agreement. "We have been hoping that he'll be functioning at self-sustaining levels soon. He still has to be reminded to drink energon."

Thrust whines softly as Cyclonus moves from his wheels to his fairings, running fingers along them. The cyclebot manages to gasp out, "Wi-will he be leaving the Pr-Priestess when he's fixed?"

Optimus lets out a soft bark of laughter, "The infamous Cyclonus of Team Chaar? No."

Sari comes back and pulls Cyclonus up. "They have the chemical soak ready for you guys. Go and get your circuits nice and shiny. I'm gonna go out and do some shopping or something. You are going to test energon, Optimus."

He reaches down, and gives her a hug. "You have fun, Sari."

She hugs back. "I will." She pushes him away, "Now, you go try the various energons, and tell them your favorites."

Optimus settles down for a long taste-testing session, and a pretty femme carries in a tray of small cubes. "These are the first batch you will be testing, sir." She sits beside him and offers him the first cube, and her fingers brush against his altogether too much. "We will begin with a very simple energon. It has no additives, and has only gone through two refining processes."

He drinks it, and smiles. "It is much simpler than what I've been getting." She starts to take it away, but he pulls out of her reach. "I never said I didn't like it."

The cube ends up placed beside him on the couch. "I'd like to keep it nearby, just in case any of the additives or mixes don't sit well with me." She nods and offers him the next cube.

"This energon has no additives again, but has gone through extensive refinement and purification. It is a very carefully aged energon, which has been infused with solar energy."

He vaguely wonders if they left it in the sun or dropped a crystal in it to get the infusion, but doesn't ask. He takes it from her servo, slightly irritated as she brushes her fingers against his again. Sipping on it, he shrugs, "Sort of plain." Not even in the way he likes, even.

She takes the cube from him, still brushing against him way too much. "This one has a single additive of crushed Cora Crystals, and has been refined three times."

She reaches over, and he scoots away, "I think you should put the Cubes on the table, rather than handing them to me. In fact, could you sit across from me on the other side?"

The golden femme carbot gives him a disappointed look, but she does as she is asked and sits across from him. "You should try the energon. It is very rich."

Optimus sips at it and puts it down almost immediately. "I think I prefer Cora crystals when they are not mixed into my energon."

She sighs almost imperceptibly, and he tries not to glare at her as he sips the plain energon he kept. The energon had made his spark _pulse_, and he's certain she was hoping he'd have kissed her or something like that. That wasn't going to happen _ever_. He isn't a slutbot that kisses just anyone; especially not a bot that's trying to _drug_ him.

She pushes over another cube. "This one is refined four times, and has a light additive of iron filings."

The texture of this energon feels rather pleasant against his glossa. It is smooth, from the refinement, but the crunch of the filings keeps it from feeling too rich and decadent. It's nice. "I like this one."

"If you enjoy that blend, you should try this one next. It's refined a bit less, and has a mix of different crystals crushed into it."

He gives it a suspicious look, "If it has more of the Cora Crystals, I don't want to try it."

The femme blinks at him, then clearly tries to hide a scowl before bringing a different cube to the front. "This is the same, only without the Cora Crystals."

Despite her words, Optimus sips at the energon cautiously, taking a bit more when his spark doesn't immediately _throb_ with want. The energon is nearly purple from all the added crystals. He feels strange drinking purple energon.

He licks his lips curiously, and lets the crystals crunch under his denta. "I like the crystals much more when they're like this." He pushes it back. "But I'm not so certain about the color of the energon."

"The crystals add the color. It would be possible to leach the color out, but it would require several more additives that alter the flavor." She offers him the next cube, along with a rust stick. "This is a specialty from Laona-3. You stir it with the rust stick and let the stick dissolve just prior to drinking it. It gives the energon a very sweet flavor."

He does as directed, sipping on it. He shrugs. "Not really that great. It is sweet, but I prefered the one with iron filings much more. I think a crunch is nice if I'm going to have more exotic flavors."

She makes note of it. "We'll make sure the next batch has some texture to it for you. Have you considered tasting some of our energon sweets as well? We have several that have a very sharp bite and strong crunch to them."

The texture helps, certainly, but Optimus doesn't really feel like indulging in candy today. Even if some of the energon he is testing has the flavor and richness of a candy.

He shakes his head, and she continues. "We'll bring you some out in your next batch." She pushes over another cube, ignoring his confused look, "This one has gone through six refinings, and a single additive of one crystal."

Still wary of her, he sips it slowly. It tastes pleasant, and warms his circuits. He drains the small sampling cube before realizing his spark is ... pulsing again. Optimus sets the cube down. "What kind of crystal was in this?"

She smiles at him, clearly flirting and making him frown at her, "Pink Cora Crystal. You said you didn't like how the blue changed the color."

He gives her a flat look, "I think that if I'm going to keep testing, I want a different bot giving me the energon. You are trying to break my courting, and I don't appreciate it."

She stands up, horribly offended. "If you _insist_ on another bot, I will get one for you." She leaves in a huff, and Optimus sips at his plain energon. He was going to get education programs implemented as quickly as possible on all Autobot allied planets.

He pokes at one of the cubes next to him, drinking the last of the one with iron filings, and pushing the other cubes around. He's started to make designs on the table with the condensation on the table when another bot finally shows up. The mech sits across from him, and is holding a new tray. "We apologize for Wingstar's behavior. None of these have red or pink Cora Crystals."

"I appreciate that." Optimus's spark is still trying to settle down. He's going to need to self-service again soon. "Do you have any with rust filings?"

He nods and offers a cube to Optimus. "This is a special cultured rust that we make in our own facility here at the resort."

He sips it, and his processor goes slightly fuzzy. "Is this high-grade?"

The mech shakes his head, "No, sir. It is several times refined, however. Would you prefer less refinement in your next cube?"

"Yes, please," he blinks several times, trying to realign the room. "Something with minerals this time?" He's given a cube and he sips at it slowly. "This is nice."

"It's very good for helping with internal repairs. The mineral blend has been formulated to heal minor injuries and aches."

He drinks it all, and he can feel his self-repair pick up the minerals for later use. Humming happily, he looks at the mech. "And what do you have next?"

The cube is slid across the table. "I'm not certain how much you'd like this one, you said before you didn't really like the purple, but you do seem to have a preference for the healing blends. This has a light sprinkling of metal minerals and pieces of crystal."

Despite the color, he takes the cube and drinks it — first one sip, and then draining the cube when the taste registers. It's smooth and flavorful, and the crystal bits crunch between his denta. "This one is very nice. I wouldn't mind having this occasionally, while we stay here."

The mech smiles, "I will be certain to inform the chefs, sir." The bot puts another cube in front of him, "This one has been refined twice, and has been enriched with solar energy before being aged with several types of crystals."

All the energon is starting to get to his processor, and his still-hot spark is more excited than he'd like. They work through the rest of the tray — most don't please him, and by the end, he's barely capable of telling them apart. "I," he sets the last cube down, "I think I should lay down." He wants to talk to Ultra. Snuggle up on Ultra's lap and rub his sparkplates against him shamelessly.

The mech stands up, "I will escort you to your room, then." He's pulled up, and is held arm in arm with the mech. "We were informed to not allow you to offline in this room, and I am certain your berth would be much more comfortable than the couch."

Optimus rests his head on the bot's shoulder, letting himself get lead out of the room, "My berth is too large. I feel so tiny in it, and I have no one to talk to." He nuzzles against the mech, "You're very warm."

"We can send someone up for you to ... talk to," the bot says gently, helping him into his room and up onto his berth, carefully extracting himself from Optimus's grasp. "Let me get one for you. Would you prefer talking to any specific model-type?"

Optimus gives him a confused look, "What does the model of a bot have to do with talking? I would like one that doesn't get all stupid about Sari."

The mech nods, murmuring, "Yes, sir," and slipping out the door.

Optimus moves so he's facing the console, and reaches for it. It is _just_ a little too far, even when he's almost reaching off the edge of the berth. He is about to get up when the door opens, and a bot walks in. The mech has paint over his sparkplates, and is buffed to a soft shine. The bot freezes at the sight of him hanging precariously off the side of the berth, "... Optimus Prime? ... you asked for me?"

The floor is hard when he crashes down onto it, but he rights himself quickly enough. He's not entirely sure how he got down here, but now that he is, the console is within reach. "Yes. I wanted to talk. Because I'm lonely." He stares at the console, trying to remember Ultra's frequency.

Optimus nods, "I was going to call Ultra," he looks at the console, poking at it, "but I can talk to you," he flips through the past frequencies, and stares at the two numbers on the list, "I guess."

The bot gives him an uncertain look. "Would you like help calling him?" He approaches the console and rests a servo on Optimus's shoulder, leaning forward to study the screen. "Is this his frequency?"

Optimus looks at it, "... I think so?"

The mech gently puts him on the berth, "They're both the same numbers, and it says you called just this morning. Did you talk to him then?"

Optimus beams, "I did. I was polishing myself as he watched." The mech nods, and starts to hit the buttons to call, only to stop when Optimus asks, "Why don't you have an Autobot symbol?"

The mech freezes, then straightens up, "I am the only bot that knew the specific authors you requested last solar cycle, and you said you wanted a bot to talk to. If you would prefer an Autobot rather than a neutral, I could go get one for y-"

Optimus waves him into silence, "Neutrals are better to talk to about this stuff. They don't try to invalidate my courting."

Studying him, the bot presses the frequency in. "There. If it's not him, we can always hang up." His servo rubs Optimus's shoulder gently, and the truckbot's optics dim. It's such a nice touch.

Ultra answers almost immediately, smile turning to a confused frown, "... Optimus? Why do you have a terrified prostitute on your berth?"

Optimus gives his beloved a confused look. "What?"

"Oh," Ultra turns his attention to the other bot, "you _are_ a prostitute, aren't you? I know I shouldn't just assume, but your paint is very artificial. Those are not paint marks you were onlined with."

The bot swallows nervously and nods, "Yes. Optimus requested my presence."

Ultra leans on the console, looking fairly interested. "Did he really?"

Optimus frowns. "I just wanted someone to talk with."

Ultra's face falls a little bit. "I see."

The protitutebot sits on the floor, servos on knees, "Should I leave?"

"You can stay," Optimus says, and promptly forgets about him when the light sparkles on Ultra's armor. His intended must have polished himself up pretty, hoping Optimus would call him. "You're so pretty today," he murmurs, and one of his servos comes up to rub at his hot, aching sparkplates. He wants to open them _so bad_. "I miss you."

Ultra straightens up, catching more light over his armor, "I missed you, too. I can never see you enough."

Optimus runs a finger along his headfin, "Did you polish yourself just for me?"

"It wasn't _only_ for you, beloved," Ultra smiles, leaning towards the camera. "Does it please you?"

He wants to _lick_ Ultra's shiny bits. "I want to _lick_ you," he purrs, tracing his sparkplate seams with his fingertips. This is a bad idea, but he can't remember _why_. "Oh, Primus," he moans, arching up, displaying his chest for his intended. "I wish you were here. I want your servo on my spark _so bad_."

Ultra leans forward, and opens his mouth to say something, only to get interrupted by the slamming of the door. Sari strides in, Perceptor, Cyclonus, and Thrust trailing after. She points an accusing finger at Ultra, "What the hell is this?"

The prostitute bot drops, prostrate on the floor, "I'm sorry, Priestess! I was told to come here! I didn't want t-"

Sari puts a hand on the mech's back, "Hey, calm down. I was asking Ultra, not you. Stop freaking out."

"I never intended to-"

"Calm down. I'm not gonna hurt you. Even if you were here and intended to 'face the slag out of Optimus, _you_ aren't the bot that would get punished. It's your _job_." She turns a dark look at Optimus, who blinks and drops his servos away from his chest. "I repeat: what the slag are you doing?"

"I'm talking to Ultra," Optimus says, and he frowns when his speech is slightly slurred. He should have a medicbot look at that.

She gives him a dirty look, "You're _drunk_."

He snorts, "Don't be silly, Sari. Bots can't get _drunk_."

She rolls her eyes, "Overcharged then." She turns back to Ultra. "You fucking know better. If he calls you when he's like this, do you know what to do?" Ultra starts to open his mouth only for Sari to talk over him, "You tell him you're sorry, and he needs to talk to _me_. Or you tell him how much he's going to regret this in the morning. Don't you fucking _encourage_ him."

"I'm sorry," Ultra murmurs, although he doesn't sound very sincere to Optimus. His spark is still so slagging _hot_. A warm, wet glossa would feel _amazing_ against it; he's sure of it.

Sari punches him, hard. "I fucking know what you're thinking. AllSpark won't stop freaking out about this." She makes a frustrated sound, "You are hanging up now, Ultra."

His intended freezes. "I wanted to ask you about the crystals, actually, Sari."

She rubs her temples, "Yes, I will get your fragging red Cora Crystals. I am getting several of each color. Don't bother me about them, and _hang up_."

Pressing his fingers against the screen, Ultra smiles at Optimus, "Recharge well, Optimus." He disconnects the call before Optimus can turn a scowl on Sari.

"You're mean."

She gives him a dirty look, "You're _overcharged_. I never should have left you alone." She sighs, "In fact..." She looks at Cyclonus, before shaking her head, "No. I'll let you be alone for now, but I'm disabling your calling console and making sure that no one but me can get into the room."

Optimus sticks his glossa out at her briefly, like a petulant sparkling. "You should disable that femme's console. She kept trying to get me to drink Cora crystals to make my spark all hot."

Sari covers her face with her hand. "I already know that. Fragging bots."

The prostitute bot is shivering at her feet, and Thrust steps forward, a servo on her arm and whispering softly, "Priestess Sari? I think we should let him," he gestures at the prostrate bot, "know that you aren't angry at him."

She sighs, "Cyclonus, pick him up." She slaps the console, and it flashes brightly, "We're going to Percy's room, you'll be able to call me, Optimus," she taps her temple, "But _only_ me." She steps out, slapping the door as she goes, and the mechs follow, Cyclonus holding both Thrust and the scared bot.

Optimus stares at the door for a long time, and then gives the console a sad look. He finds a comfortable position on the berth and lays down, getting his static glove from subspace. Overload is going to feel fantastic, and he's going to imagine Ultra above him, licking his spark. He shudders with pleasure.

* * *

The processor ache he has the next morning is one of the worst ones Optimus has ever experienced. He wants to remove his circuitboards to make the burning and throbbing stop.

He gropes into his subspace, and drinks the processor ache cure. It isn't as good as the one the ship provides, but it is workable. He holds the top of his head, and keeps his optics offline until the pain goes from acid in his circuits to just a dull prodding. Sitting up, he rubs his head, only to yank his servo away. ... why is he wearing the static glove, and why are his sparkplates open?

Memory files drift back into existence slowly, and Optimus grows increasingly horrified. He'd had a prostitute in his room, and he'd nearly self-serviced in front of both the other bot and _Ultra_. And then he'd overloaded himself five times with the glove, screaming Ultra's name at a volume that made him sincerely hope that his room was soundproof.

He shoves the glove back in his subspace, and shuts his plates. Curling up on the berth, he winces, suddenly realizing _why_ that femme kept trying to shove red and pink Cora Crystals down him. He'd realized she wanted to 'face him, but did she really have to try it in such an underhanded way?

It'll take a bit of doing, but he's going to avoid her if he sees her again. He winces. Ultra's opinion of him must be so _low_ now. He'd called him up with a prostitute hovering in the background. Primus, he needs to call up and apologize.

He walks over to the console, but it beeps at him irritably when he tries to key in Ultra's frequency; it even goes as far as shocking his servo when he tries again. Sucking on his fingers, he glares at it. He's considering kicking it until he remembers that Sari had _locked_ the thing from him calling anyone but her. He winces, and sits back on the berth, not really sure what to do.

The service desk down in the lobby ought to have a console he can use to contact his intended and apologize for acting so terribly. Optimus decides against it. He doesn't want to embarrass them both any further in public. He gives himself a quick polish and sips half a cube of normal energon.

He taps his fingers against his leg before walking over to the console, and tapping in Sari's frequency. The console routes it to her room automatically, and he gives it a confused look; he didn't know that they could _do_ that. He shrugs, letting it go, nonsentient technology always acts funny around her, anyway.

She picks up after a little bit, blinking at him sleepily, "Optimus? Why are you _awake_? It is," she glances at the time, and jumps in surprise, "Almost time to check out. Shit! Thanks for waking me up."

"Could you unlock my console? I want to call Ultra Magnus and apologize for my behavior." He ducks his head down. " And I want to apologize to you as well. I don't react well to being so overcharged. And I was not expecting the effect the Cora Crystals had when ingested."

She moves out of the camera's view, and her voice is muffled, "You don't have to apologize to him, he should be apologizing to _you_. He was blatantly encouraging you to continue, when he should have been saying it is a bad idea."

Optimus flushes, glad she can't see it. "It wasn't his responsibility to monitor my actions. I'm sure he would have told me to stop if I started to ... open up."

Sari's head pops up on the corner of the screen, "Yeah, like I believe that. He'd have probably told poor Firestarter to use you." She vanishes again.

He taps his fingers together. "He wouldn't. He knows how important this is to me."

She snorts. "He knows, but he's a dirty old bot. I'm not sure how you'll do when you start living together."

Optimus bites his lip. "I imagine it will be more difficult when we start sharing a berth." He also knew that most couples began interfacing at that point, even if they were attempting a full formal courtship. Since he wanted to be successful, he had no intention of giving in to any desires he might have.

She comes back on screen, fully dressed, "AllSpark is worried about that. Ultra is _way_ too interested in seeing your spark. You're going to have to remind him how much you want a successful courting. He'll be getting pretty blessed femme twins and you'll get a single fully crystal mech if you go through with it, remember?"

He smiles at the thought, "I'd really like that."

Family was important to him. He felt a twinge of jealousy every time he saw another bot caring for a sparkling. He _would_ do whatever it took to get a family for Ultra and himself.

"Make sure he knows that. And don't seeker-polish yourself again until _after_ the bonding."

He sighs unhappily, "We've been courting for stellar cycles, Sari. How much longer will it be?"

She closes her eyes, "Pretty soon. You're doing really well, but you need to be _patient_."

"I will try," he promises, before looking around his room. "I should tidy up before we check out."

She gives him a look, "We're paying ridiculous amounts to stay here, and you want to clean for them?"

He looks at the floor, "It isn't polite to le-"

She cuts him off, "Polite nothing. They called me a whore, and kept trying to get you to break the courtship. Leaving them a dirty room is fine. I'm going to head over and get you now, do you need me to bring you anything?"

"There was a type of energon I enjoyed last night. I can't remember what it was, though." He rubs his head, embarrassed. "If you could ask for a cube of that before we leave, I'd be very thankful."

She nods, "No problem. I'll get it and head on over."

She disconnects the call, and he's left sitting doing nothing again. He wonders if he should work on something from his harddrive, but he's fairly certain that if Sari caught him, she'd find some way of erasing it. Instead, he settles down on the berth, and reads more of the datapads he got on the first night here.

When Sari arrives, she shoves a cube at him, "Mineral and crystal blend. I tasted it, and it's just as gross as the rest of your stuff. Even worse with the bits of rock in there."

He drinks a little, crunching down happily on the crystals, "They're _delicious_, Sari."

She rolls her optics, "Whatever." She climbs up him, and she helps her to his shoulder, "We're getting Cyclonus and Thrust, then pulling Percy away from Firestarter."

"We'll need some luck with that, I think," Optimus says, and he finishes his cube before walking out with her. "Perceptor seems to be exploring an entirely new side of himself while we are out."

Sari snorts, "Yeah, his slutbot side. But he's enjoying it, so it's cool."

Optimus tilts his head, "AllSpark doesn't mind?"

She snorts, "Why the hell would it mind? It _likes_ bots to use their sparks. The reason it freaks out so much about _you_ is because you're a virgin, and it wants you to _stay_ that way until you bond with Ultra the very first time you interface." She grabs him by the helmet and points to a bot that's cleaning up unobtrusively. "Stop. I need to go talk to Grapple there. He's hurting."

He walks over to the bot, helping Sari down. She looks the bot in the optics and places a servo on his leg. The blue paint on the back of her servos glows brightly, and Grapple stares down at her. "I know it hurts, but it will get better. You really shouldn't be working, not after having lost your bonded."

The mech flinches, and whispers, "There is nothing else I can do."

She tugs Grapple down, and hugs him around the neck. "You're allowed to request time off, you know. You need time to heal."

"I don't want to _think_ about it," he whispers, sounding utterly wrecked. "I don't have anyone else. I can't be alone like that. At least there are other bots here."

Sari looks at him for a klik, before offering, "You can come with us if you want."

He gives her a sparkbroken look. "You don't even _know_ me."

She touches him gently between the optics. "Grapple, you were sparkbonded for," she pauses, optics glowing, "over six-hundred vorns to Hoist," her optics stop glowing, "and you _miss_ him. I don't know you personally, but I'm," she sighs, slightly disgusted at herself, "the AllSpark High Priestess. And _every_ bot is sacred to me. You are hurting because the bot you loved enough to share emotions with is _gone_. I can help."

"I can't just _leave_," he protests, but it sounds like he wants to be persuaded otherwise.

"If your boss is callous enough to ignore a broken bond, well, we've got ourselves a secret weapon." She points at Optimus, "Second in command of the Autobots right there. He'll ask for you, if your manager doesn't just give you the time off."

Grapple bites his lower lip, "I only just started working for this solar cycle, I can't just-"

She puts a servo to his lips, "You're making excuses for something you know doesn't matter. You can come with us, and we will bring you back here later. When you are _better_."

Ducking his head, he nods his agreement. "I don't want to have to explain this to my manager. He expects me to be remodeling part of this resort."

She rubs his shoulder. "I'll have Optimus explain for you."

Optimus takes the mech's servo in his own, and pulls him and Sari up. "Let's go to him first, shall we?"

Grapple nods, leading them to a room a little bit away, and knocking on it. There's a gruff, "Come on in," from the room, and the mech hides behind Optimus as he walks in.

The manager looks up from his desk and immediately stands, "Optimus Prime, sir. I wasn't expecting you. Can I help you?"

Optimus carefully urges Grapple forward. "This bot has recently lost his bonded. Sari and I would like to take him away for a while, to help him recover from his loss."

The manager blinks in surprise, "... Hoist is _gone_, Grapple? Why didn't you _say_ anything?" The bot stands up, and walks over, rubbing Grapple on the back. "Did he finally succumb to it?" Grapple nods unhappily, and the manager winces. "I'm so sorry, of _course_ you can take time off."

"Succumb?" Optimus says quietly to Sari, not wanting to be overheard.

Sari shakes her head sadly. "He had some kind of disease. It had been eating away at him for a while now. They'd known he'd had it since before they bonded, but it can't be spread."

The manager and Grapple talk for a little bit longer before they leave the room. Optimus rests his servo on the other bot's back as they walk. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The bot shakes his head, "Not right now. Maybe later?"

Optimus gives him a wane smile. "You don't have to at all. You're going to be recovering, and can take all the time you need."

"Thank you," Grapple says quietly, and Optimus notices the way he keeps rubbing his chest every klik or so.

Optimus shares a look with Sari, and she slips over onto Grapple's shoulder. "You don't mind if I hitch a ride on you, do you?"

The mech smiles, "No, not at all... Priestess."

She pats him gently on the helmet, "You can call me Sari, that _is_ my name."

Grapple straightens up, not rubbing at his chamber, leaning his head against her, "Thank you for this, Sari. I'm not sure what I'd do if you hadn't offered this."

She sighs, "You'd be working on remodeling the buildings, and trying not to break down when you saw something that reminds you of Hoist." She pauses. "Turn here, we're getting Cyclonus and Thrust first."

"Cyclonus?" the bot asks. He gives Sari a concerned look, "It's _true_ that you've been keeping that Decepticon? Isn't that dangerous?"

"Nah," Sari waves his concerns away. "He's mostly harmless." They approach the door and it opens up, keyed to Sari's frequency. Optimus flushes at the sight they're greeted with.

Sprawled across Cyclonus's lap, Thrust is whining and revving hard, while Cyclonus rubs his sparkplates, playing with the sensitive seams. Cyclonus looks up when they enter, but doesn't stop playing with the cyclebot on his lap.

Sari buries her head in her servos, hiding her face, "Stop that, Cyclonus." The mech stops reluctantly, clearly wanting to continue. "I'd thought you were just playing with his wheels again, not this."

The jetbot gives her a confused look, "I'm not allowed to-"

She sighs, waving him quiet, "You _can_, it is good that you're getting more interested. Percy is fixing you, and I'm glad you're interested. Now that I know you're doing this, I'll be sure to knock or call ahead when I go to your room."

Thrust vents air hard, and carefully sits up on Cyclonus's lap. The jetbot puts a servo on his chest and pushes him back down, so he's sprawled out again. "I like the noises he makes."

"Yeah," Sari watches them. "But we're checking out. And you should probably keep your servos off his entire chest area when we're out in public."

Cyclonus runs a servo along the cyclebot's frame, then nods. He stands up, and joins them by the door, holding Thrust in his arms, and playing with the mech's wheels. The smaller bot whines helplessly, "C-can we g-go to the sh-ship, P-priestess?"

She looks at him for a little bit before sighing and shaking her head, "I'm sorry, Thrust, but no." She gestures Cyclonus closer. "But I can make you more presentable in public, if you want me to."

Thrust clutches Cyclonus's arms, trying not to grind against the larger bot, "Please, Priestess?"

She sighs, "This isn't going to be any fun for you, but here." She reaches over and puts a servo directly over the bot's sparkplates, and he freezes abruptly.

She stays there for a half klik before pulling away, and the cyclebot shivers unhappily, but clearly no longer so horribly worked up. The mech whimpers out, "Th-thank you, Priestess," and curls up, wrapping his arms around his chest.

To Optimus's surprise, Cyclonus gives Sari a long, blank look, before carefully pulling Thrust out of her reach, turning away slightly so she cannot touch the cyclebot again.

Sari doesn't seem to know what to make of this. "You don't have to thank me for that, Thrust. I know it didn't feel good."

"But w-we can g-go out now," the cyclebot manages to whimper out, peeking through Cyclonus's arms at her.

She rubs her forehead, "Thrust... you know how you said you were trained to react a certain way to a priestess?" The mech nods, and she continues, "You can forget most of that. I'm not a typical priestess. I won't yank out your cables and make you heal over the damage if you make me upset. You are with me, and that pretty much means you're under my protection. You are allowed to be upset if I hurt you. Look at Cyclonus," she waves at the mech, "does _he_ look happy that I did that?"

"No," Thrust answers quietly, looking away. Wanting to change the subject, the cyclebot points at the bot she's sitting on. "You're new. What's your name?"

"Grapple," the cranebot answers him. "The High ... Sari has allowed me to come with her while my spark heals."

They head out of the room, and Sari answers the cyclebot's questioning look, "He lost his sparkbonded just recently."

Thrust gives an upset look, trying to reach over to touch the cranebot, but is too far away, "That's _horrible_. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," the mech says, patting Thrust's servo, or trying to — Cyclonus pulls him out of reach at the last moment. "We'd been expecting it for a while." He rubs his chest. "Still hurts, though. So slagging much."

Sari runs a servo over the cranebot's head. "You loved him. Losing the one you love always hurts. No one expects you to be at your best when you're like this." She leans against him. "I will be here to help you recover." The mech seems to relax at that, and they keep walking in silence until they get to Perceptor's room. She tilts her head, then says, "They aren't doing anything that I can tell, but we should knock first, anyway."

The door opens for them after they knock, and Primus, Perceptor is a mess. He's covered in paint streaks and dents, and looks utterly blissed out. Firestarter is laying beside him, spooned up and petting Perceptor's hip.

Perceptor sits up, the other carbot wrapping arms around his waist and murmuring happily. The sciencebot adjust his glasses. "Are we leaving, Sari?"

She nods. "Yeah, you can clean up on the ship."

"Can't you stay?" Firestarter hums, servos tracing a few of Perceptor's seams. "I know the 'bots here can be pretty awful — you should see the way they treat me sometimes — but it's so nice having a friendly face around, to talk to."

Perceptor shakes his head, starting to disentangle himself, "I cannot spend all day in the berth, I have a job I need to do."

The other carbot makes a disappointed noise, and looks at Sari on Grapple's shoulder. "... could I come with you, Priestess?"

"Why do you want to?" she asks, giving the bot an unimpressed glance. "Is it just because you want Percy's spark?"

Shaking his head, the bot lets Perceptor get up. "I am not fond of working on this planet. This simply seems like an ideal time to pursue other options." His optics follow Perceptor as he polishes himself.

She crosses her arms, "And what will you _do_ when off this planet, Streetwise?"

The mech stretches. "I wouldn't say no to doing security work. I'd like to keep things safe."

"We'll take you with us on probation," she warns him. "If you start fights or shit, we're going to drop you off somewhere."

"That is perfectly acceptable," the bot agrees.

Sari narrows her eyes. "And you're going by your real name while you're with us."

He nods, "Of course, Priestess." The mech starts to walk over to Perceptor only to turn to the console at Sari's sharp glare. "I'll just call my boss and tell him I'm quitting, then."

The mech taps in a few quick numbers, and a femme answers quickly, "Firestarter, why are you calling from a different room you were sent to?"

"I'm quitting," the bot says rather cheerfully, and the femme curses at him. "Yes, yes, I know. You'll all miss me terribly. Sorry for not giving two decacycles' notice, but it's all rather sudden."

She snarls, "You're running away with a client?"

He waves a servo dismissively. "Of course not, I'm running away with the AllSpark High Priestess and her retinue. She's really quite wonderful. Very kind and," there's a pause, a quick glance at Perceptor, "rewarding. I'm considering a change of careers, even. Amazing how that is."

"I hope you visit some awful organic planet and get _eaten_, you awful bot!" she hisses at him. "Don't expect _anything_ from us anymore." She disconnects the call, and Firestarter smiles at the other bots.

"I think that went rather well."

Sari starts to giggle, "Well, come on, Streetwise. We'll be heading off, then. I'll be showing you your room when we get to the ship. We've paid for everything already, and I just got a notice that what we bought or brought has been delivered to the ship, so we can just go."

Calling Ultra would be best done in the privacy of his room on the ship, Optimus decides as they walk towards it. He'll almost certainly end up locked inside, as he still has the twinges of a processor-ache hovering, and the settings on the room's systems will likely disapprove of that.

When they step in, Sari looks over them all, "Okay, everyone to their rooms. Thrust, you can be in Cyclonus's now, I'll just close the one you had up. Streetwise, Grapple, you're with me as I get you sorted out." The former prostitute bot looks like he wants to protest, and Sari glares, "You aren't staying in Percy's room. You asked to come, you follow my rules." She turns to Optimus, "You, go to your room and don't come out until it lets you." She claps her hands, "Ship, light up the way to his room, so he can go. The rest of you, stay, I need to talk to you."

Eager to talk to Ultra, Optimus heads off to his room, not even getting upset when the door chimes angrily at him, locking him firmly inside. The processor ache will be gone after a good cube of energon and a bit of recharge, so he'll be out again soon enough. He flushes a bit, keying Ultra's frequency in. After five overloads the previous evening, he likely won't need one to satisfy his door lock.

Ultra answers fairly quickly; his mech is at his desk, holding a datapad. "Optimus," his voice is warm and welcoming, "are you okay?"

Optimus settles down on the comfortable chair, flushing faintly. "I am, but I feel really embarrassed about last night."

The pad gets placed on the desk, and Ultra smiles kindly at him, "Don't be. You were ... stunning. I had a very difficult time clearing that image from my processor. I should be apologizing for not realizing how overcharged you were."

Optimus looks away, "I never should have gotten so overcharged in the first place. Part of the problem was that femme that kept trying to get me to drink the Cora Crystal infused energon."

"What?" Ultra asks, voice going rather flat.

He knows he should be reprimanded for not having expected such a plot, but it still hurts to hear it from Ultra himself. "I know. I should have researched the ingredients beforehand."

"Was she _fired_ for doing that to you, Optimus?"

He blinks at his intended, flinching at the anger in his optics, "I... I don't know?"

Ultra frowns, " ... I see." His mech takes a calming ventilation. "I'll deal with her later, since I'd much rather talk to you."

"I _am_ sorry," Optimus says quietly. "I should have asked her to leave after the first time she found a reason to touch me."

"It was in no way your fault, Optimus," Ultra reassures him, and Optimus looks up, confused. Of course it had been at least partly his fault. Not even a fuzzed up processor should have disguised the femme's blatant attempts, or the fact that a prostitute had been sent to his room.

He sighs, leaning against the console, "Still, could you forgive me?"

Ultra gives him a sad look, "There is nothing _to_ forgive, Optimus. It wasn't your fault at all." He pauses, and sighs, "If it makes you feel better, yes, I forgive you, but only if you accept _my_ apology for not realizing how not in control of yourself you were. I should have known when you started talking like that, you'd never want to invalidate the courting."

"We'll forgive each other, then," Optimus agrees, kissing his fingers and pressing them to the screen. "I miss you. We keep picking up strays at we go along. Cyclonus has a cyclebot, Streetwise joined to follow Perceptor, and Grapple recently lost his sparkbonded."

Ultra blinks at him in surprise and dismay, "You found a bot that _lost_ his bonded?"

Optimus sighs sadly, "According to Sari, it was fairly recent. Grapple was _working_; he couldn't figure out anything else to do. He didn't want to be alone."

Ultra gives him a sad look, "That's terrible, Optimus. I hope she's able to help him."

"We hope so as well. He seemed to be in less pain when she was near him." He smiles at Ultra. "I'm not sure how long he will be staying with us, but Thrust and Streetwise seem intent on staying. I wonder what they'll think of you, beloved."

Ultra smiles, "I'm sure they'll think I'm just fine."

Optimus blushes faintly, "Streetwise was actually the prostitute bot that was in my room, Ultra. He's a neutral like Thruster is. I don't know if they will react to you very well."

"Even if they don't like me much to begin with, I'm sure they'll become more friendly over time." Ultra's smile becomes knowing. "Even Sari likes me more now than she did when I first began dating you."

"She still thinks you're a ... pervbot."

Ultra sighs. "I just want to be with you, and she takes it the wrong way."

Optimus gives his beloved a hesitant smile, "I want to be with you, too." He pauses, and looks down, "She wanted me to remind you _why_ we're doing this. Don't you want femme twins, and a mech?"

"I do." Ultra rubs his chest absently. "And they will be beautiful blessed sparklings. I just wish we didn't have to wait so long." He gazes intently at Optimus. "Not when I am willing to bond with you this very instant."

Optimus blushes, hiding his face by turning away. "It'll be worth it, though."

His intended's optics roam his frame, and he moves slightly so Ultra can get a better look, then says, "It certainly will."

Optimus dims his optics, "Until that solar cycle, I will have to satisfy myself with only the thought of it."

"I hope you stay very ... satisfied."

His engine starts to purr, and he shifts slightly in his seat. "I think I will, Ultra." He pauses, tilting his head, "I think you should get back to work." He presses a kiss against the screen. "I love you."

Ultra sighs, optics on his chestplates before going to his face. "I love you, too. Think of me."

Optimus smiles, "I always do," and disconnects the transmission.

Energon always tastes sweeter after talking to his intended, and Optimus sips happily on a cube of it, his processor-ache nearly vanished already. He gives the berth a longing look. Should he self-service, or simply drop into recharge? Both sound very nice.

Well, there's nothing stopping him from doing _both_. If he lays down, and starts to drop down into recharge, then that's what he'll do. If not, the thought of Ultra will help him with that after.

* * *

The soft chime of his com console wakes Optimus from his recharge, and he slips off the berth, fumbling for the on-switch.

Sari stares at him for a moment, and then covers her eyes. "Optimus, it's great that you're getting more comfortable with yourself, but please, close your sparkplates before you answer my calls."

Optimus flushes bright red, plates snapping shut and locks clicking in place loudly, shoving the static glove into his subspace in the same moment. Glancing around quickly, he's happy that nothing else is out, and says hesitantly, "Sorry, Sari."

She opens an eye cautiously before opening the other, "Okay, we're going to the next neutral planet soon. You need to make sure you can get out, since I got a com from one of the bots there. They're," she rolls her eyes, "throwing me a party."

"Were they cursed as well?" Optimus can't help but ask, and Sari shakes her head.

"Not as far as I can tell. They're just ... happy to see me." She wrinkles her nose. "It's stupid. If they send bots to my room, I reserve the right to give the party throwers a bad case of robot STDs."

He looks behind her. "Is that Grapple?"

She nods, "Yeah, he's still recharging right now. His spark doesn't hurt as much as it was. He couldn't even drop into a stasis nap before."

"I'm happy that he is getting comfort from your presence." Optimus glances at the time and does a rapid calculation to determine what time it is on Cybertron. Sari scowls at him.

"You don't need to call Ultra this morning. We've got a planet to crash."

He gives her an upset look, "But I-"

She waves her hand, "_No_. You will do your thing, get out to the hallway, and ask the ship to get to me. We're going out as a group."

The console goes dark, and Optimus gives the door a long, suspicious look. He's plenty recharged now, and his charge levels should be fine with all the self-servicing he'd done. A cube of energon later and he's fueled up. The door better let him out now.

It beeps at him, almost angrily, and he glares at it. He's not sure _what_ he's missing, and is about to get another cube to drink when the door opens for him. Giving it a confused look, he steps out and asks for Sari's room. It lights up several light strips, and he frowns taking a cautious step towards where they are leading, unsure why the ship is giving him so many.

All of the light strips die out save for one as he reaches Sari's room. It's disconcerting.

He presses the door chime and Sari's door simply slides open for him. Walking inside, he finds Sari perched atop Cyclonus's shoulder, poking at his headfins.

"Did you interface last night? Because the AllSpark is trying to claim that you did."

The jetbot gives her a confused look and shrugs, almost helplessly. She pets him softly, looking down at the blushing Thrust. The cyclebot nods, blushing faintly, "Y-yes, Sari."

She sighs. "I should have expected this. What with how he's been acting with you." Her fingers are gentle on Cyclonus' headfins while Optimus walks in unobtrusively, "How was he reacting when you finished? Not hurt, I hope."

"No," Thrust ducks his head, "just confused. He stared at his spark for a long time after."

Sari sighs again. "Percy will need to work on that. Assuming he can drag his aft out of the berth long enough to do it."

Thrust nuzzles into Cyclonus's chest. "Did Streetwise join him?"

She snorts, "Frag no. I told the ship to always lead him back to his own room if he asked it for Percy. He got frustrated after the third time that happened, and just _stayed_ there."

Grapple stares at them all, murmuring in a soft undertone to him, "Are you always like this?"

Optimus tips his head to one side. "Like what?"

"Like a squabbling group of sparklings?"

Optimus smiles, "If you stay long enough for the family meetings, it gets _worse_." He looks around Sari's room absently. "It normally takes at least a stellar cycle to recover into being functional from a broken spark bond, right?"

Grapple nods before giving him a slightly sad smile. "But with Sari, it should be about three or four decacycles. The AllSpark said it is sometimes more, but since I _knew_ this would happen and did it anyway, it makes for a shorter recovery time."

Few things are more spark-rending than a broken spark bond. Optimus knows that Grapple will be hurting for vorns, even if that pain becomes more tolerable over time. Optimus is not even bonded to Ultra yet, and he already knows his spark would ache for the rest of his existence if Ultra were to offline.

Sari finishes talking to Cyclonus and Thrust, turning to him, "So, Optimus, you'll be coming with us planetside. You are going to have _fun_. No moping about or feeling terrible. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Sari," Optimus says dutifully, bracing himself for another solar cycle or two of bots treating him like he's some strange sort of celebrity. What he wouldn't give for a nice little room somewhere, where he didn't feel like a tin can rattling around in an empty storage bay.

She armors up, commenting idly, "Streetwise and Percy aren't joining us." Optimus is about to ask a question, but she talks over him, "Percy flipped me off, and went back into recharge. The ship informs me that Streetwise is roaming randomly around it, checking any doors he comes across. I imagine he is finding a lot of empty areas, and absolutely no Percy."

"How ... unfortunate?" Optimus follows her out of the ship, hiding his wince when they are almost immediately surrounded by a group of bots. They go up to Sari and bow deeply.

"High Priestess Sari, welcome to our planet."

Sari looks like she's about to frown, but forces a smile on her face. "You can call me Sari. I don't need a title."

The bots give her a confused look, and one of them, a seeker, steps forward. Optimus hides behind Cyclonus, peeking out unhappily as the mech says, "If that's what you want, ... Sari."

"Can we show you to your rooms, or would you like to go immediately to the celebration?" another bot asks.

Optimus steels himself and comes out from his hiding spot—he is a Prime, and he cannot afford to cower like a terrified sparkling. "I would appreciate seeing my room, thank you."

They ignore him and keep their attentions focused on Sari, waiting for her answer.

She gives the bots a dirty look, slipping from Cyclonus's shoulder to Grapple's, "You heard him, we'd like to see our rooms. Grapple," she pats the crane bot, "is with me, so don't add another room to what I said."

They all give the bot a significant look, "Of course, Sari. We reserved the penthouse suite — but if you need more space, we can clear another floor for you."

"As long as it has a real bed, I'll take anything."

The seeker nods. "We got you a bed. Imported it from earth just for you." He steps closer, leading Sari and Grapple off, while two other bots peel off from the group to go to Optimus, Cyclonus and Thrust.

The one that goes to Optimus is a Decepticon sized tankbot, who looks supremely disinterested as he says, "I'll lead you to your room, Prime."

"Thank you," he says, but the bot is already far ahead of him down the hall, and Optimus has to rush after him to catch up. "You can call me Optimus if you like. I don't know many bots who bother with my rank anymore."

The bot casts a glance at him, "Yeah. Sure."

Optimus has to jog slightly to keep up, and he smiles; it isn't often he gets to do this, and it feels nice. He's glad that they gave him an escort that is moving fairly fast. It would be _better_ if he could go into vehicle mode, but he's fairly certain that he won't be going far enough to warrant it.

"Here's your room, Prime," the bot says, before turning and beginning to leave him behind.

Optimus stares at the bot's retreating back, "Do you have a map file for the resort?"

The bot doesn't even bother turning around, "Should be some files in the desk. I'm sure you're smart enough to figure it out."

He blinks at the slammed door before shrugging. Looking around the room, he can't help but smile, it is _not_ ridiculously large like the one on the ship or the hotel on the spa planet. And when he walks over to the dispenser, he gets _very_ plain energon. He hasn't had this since before the fast fuel place started serving him the better energon.

There are also no windows, and — after giving the room a quick scan — no com consoles. At all. Optimus sits on the berth, which reminds him of the concrete berth he used for stellar cycles on Earth. It's strange, but it makes his spark warm with nostalgia.

Laying on it, he coms the front desk, "Are there any public com consoles free in the lobby?"

"All of them are broken, Prime."

Optimus blinks, "All of them? I was pretty sure I sa-"

"_All_ of them."

"Could you let me know when they are repaired? I would appreciate it."

"Sure. Not expecting it'll happen while you're here, though. You'll just have to live without being able to contact everyone your spark desires at a moment's notice." The call cuts off, and Optimus stares up at the ceiling.

That was strange. He'll have to use the ship console to talk to Ultra. A few more kliks of searching, and he has to call again. "I'm sorry, but could I get a map file of the hotel? I'm not really sure where I am."

The map is beamed to him instantly, "There you go, _Prime_," and the call is cut off.

He's not really sure where all this hostility from the bot is coming from, but he shrugs it off. There's no reason to get upset about it when he has what he asked for. Opening the file, he wanders through the hotel, somehow stepping right into where Sari is sitting next to Grapple.

Walking over to her, he sits down. "Did you get a com console?"

"Yeah. Like five of them, actually. And this great glass wall that opens up if you push a button. It's pretty cool." Sari grins, and pats Grapple's thigh. "Grapple knows the architect who built this place."

Optimus smiles, "That's nice." He pus his elbows on his legs, and rests his head in his servos, frowning a bit. "I don't have one in my room, and they tell me all the public ones are broken. I'm trying to figure out how to get to the ship, but the map I have led me here." He waves to recreation room before beaming, "But they gave me a _wonderful_ room other than lacking a com console! And the dispenser is great, too!"

Sari gives him a very strange look, somewhere between 'You poor sad bot, how can you possibly be so dumb,' and 'I am upset and angry on your behalf.' Optimus isn't sure what he's done to merit such a look.

"They didn't give you a com console?" Sari glances over at the public console across the room, separated from them by the length of the soaking pool. "And they claim all the rest are broken?"

He nods, "They all insist on calling me by my title, too. Even when I tell them they don't have to."

Sari rubs her temples and sighs, "Okay. I'll get you a console that I can talk to you on, and you can talk to Ultra on. Maybe have Cyclonus or Thrust be with you when the bot installs it for you. Unless they decide that it is better to put you in a different room."

"I'd appreciate the console if it's possible. I like the room." He ducks his head, "It'll be good to talk to Ultra privately. I wasn't looking forward to using public consoles for it."

"Don't push too much, or the AllSpark will get pissed at you."

He looks at the ground, a faint blush on his faceplate. "Well, we'll be going home soon, anyway. I'll feel better when I can just be with him."

Sari glances at him, then over to Grapple. "Actually, I'm thinking about extending the vacation."

Optimus's spark sinks a little. "Really?" He wants to see — and touch — Ultra as soon as possible, and that _won't_ be possible if they waste more frivolous time on vacation. This time has been well-spent, and Sari is much calmer now, but Optimus wants to curl up on Ultra's lap.

Sari reaches over, patting him gently on the helmet. "Yes, really. Grapple will do better if he _isn't_ dealing with various Cybertronions talking about him like Hoist never existed and never mattered." Optimus's head jerks, about to protest, but she shakes her head, "No, they don't _care_ about anyone I'm with, or why they are there. They just want to insult me because I'm," she makes quotation marks with her fingers, "'ruining' Ultra, you and all the rest of the team."

He's ashamed of his fellow Autobots, and has been for some time now. "I'm sorry. If I could make them realize what an amazing being you are, they'd never insult you again. I'm trying, but the prejudice runs so deep, it's going to take time to root it out."

She smiles, patting him on the helmet again, "You have _nothing_ to be sorry about, Optimus. You're too apologetic by half." She stretches, "But I think it is time to com Cyclonus and Thrust."

They use the public console across the room, and Cyclonus answers it quickly enough. Optimus immediately flushes red and offlines his optics, because Cyclonus felt it was appropriate to answer the com with Thrust sprawled out on his lap, spark exposed.

He can hear fast venting from Thrust, and Sari making a disgusted noise before saying, "Close up, Thrust, I don't need to see that."

"Yes, Priestess," comes the strained reply, and the sound of closing plates.

When he onlines his optics, Cyclonus is glaring at Sari, fingers trying to pry Thrust back open. The jetbot asks, "Why did you do that? I _like_ the sounds he makes."

"Yeah, well you can _like_ them in private. New rule for you. No killing bots without permission. No waking me up in the middle of the night by being a creeper and staring at me. No touching my food unless you're helping me cook. And no exposed sparks where I can see them."

Cyclonus pulls his servos away from Thrust reluctantly, "Yes, Sari." His fingers twitch next to the cyclebot, who sits up slowly. "What is it you wanted?"

She smiles, "You are going to come here." He starts to glare at her again, only to stop when she continues, "Bring Thrust if you want." He gathers the mech in his arms, making the bot mewl with want. "And after you're here, you're going with Optimus to the front desk to get him a new com console."

The jet's servo rubs Thrust's sparkplates, "Am I allowed to overload him if his spark stays covered?"

Sari rubs her temples. "No. No overloads around me either."

Both of the mechs give her disappointed looks. "I will be there when I am done."

She glares at them, "You will _hurry_. No 'facing him after that, either. You come straight here."

The console goes dark, and Sari sighs. "Never had to deal with this before. I'm glad he's getting feelings and shit, but this is _annoying_. I'm going to have to soundproof his room."

Optimus pats her back, "Well, you wanted him to not be so..." he trails off, not really how to describe Cyclonus before.

She nods, "Yeah, yeah." She leans on Grapple's head, "Let's go sit back down. Do either of you want to try the energon blends they were talking about giving me? They're currently making me actual food. Said they actually imported it from earth, just like the beds. I'm inclined to believe them."

"I hope you enjoy it," Optimus smiles. "I'm happy with the energon my dispenser is giving me."

Sari eyes him suspiciously. "Yeah. We're going to have that checked on too. You _need_ to drink good quality energon."

He backs up slightly, "I _like_ the energon they give me here, though. It is like they knew exactly what I like. The only thing missing was a com console."

She glares at him, "I bet they gave you the worst room in the hotel. Probably even removed the console just because you're there. If they did, I think I'm taking off all the Decepticon friendly neutral planets I was planning on going to. This is the one closest to Cybertron, and they are teetering on the edge because of this."

Optimus raises his servos, "That's not necessary, Sari. The room I have is perfectly acceptable, minus the missing console. As soon as I have a way to contact you, I'll be satisfied."

She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and asks in a deceptively calm voice, "Optimus, what would you do if a bot was hosting a large party for you and Ultra, and they served me dirt, gave me a room that I could barely lay in, and took away what I could use to contact you?"

He would teach that bot a lesson in manners... with his axe. "This isn't the same situation at all. The room they gave me is adequate — it's _better_ than the room I had on Earth, as is the energon."

She gives him a dark look, "_No_. You saw what Cyclonus and Thrust's room looked like. I told you what mine looked like. I bet yours is _nothing_ like either, is it?"

He looks away, rubbing the back of his head, "I'm sure that's just all they had open, I don't mind."

"You're one step from being the fragging Magnus," Sari says, and then pauses. "Or from fragging the Magnus." She shudders. "They ought to clear space out for you. Not doing that is a deliberate insult."

He blushes, "I _really_ don't mind, Sari. I can recharge on the ground if it comes to it."

She smacks him in the head, "No. You are being an idiot." She frowns, "And didn't you say you were trying to get to the ship when you ended up here? They most likely gave you a messed up map. Maybe we should just _leave_ when Cyclonus and Thrust come here. I'm not putting up with them treating my _team member_ like this."

Raising his servos again, Optimus shakes his head. "Not over this. We should at least offer them the chance to ... resolve this error. I'm sure it was unintentional, and they will be happy to install a temporary console in the room." He vents a sad sigh, "And upgrade the energon dispenser."

Sari lets out an exasperated sigh, "We'll see." She leans against Grapple, "I will be disappointed if they are really shitty about this. I was planning on having them show me the bonded bots, but I can do that on an Autobot friendly neutral planet just as easily as here."

He'll do anything to not be responsible for a group of worthy bots not getting the sparklings they deserve. "Give them a chance. I'm sure the bots will be happy to see you here, and I can wait a megacycle or two for a console to be installed."

She gives him a dirty look. "_Fine_." She looks around, "Not that it seems to matter. No one has come in since before you showed up. I'm wondering if they're planning on killing me like all the other priestess have been. I haven't even done anything terrible yet. I didn't even curse that femme for trying to fuck up your courtship."

Optimus flushes with embarrassment, remembering the event, and the things he'd said to Ultra after. "I appreciate your restraint in the matter."

Sari snorts, "Bitch deserved it, though. She _knew_ you were courting. _Everyone_ knows you are courting. She had no excuse trying to drug you with Cora Crystals in an attempt to get you to 'face her."

He looks down, "I'm sure she didn't mean to."

She gives him a flat look, "You know she did."

"She likely assumed that I knew what red Cora Crystals did when ingested. After that, well," he vents a careful sigh, "I don't have a stellar reputation. It was reasonable for her to assume I would interface anyone."

Sari puts her hands on her hips, "And that reputation is fully undeserved; this is just like everyone assuming I'm a whore! Just because you had that chestplate does _not_ mean they can treat you like that."

Cyclonus chooses that moment to make his entrances, rubbing Thrusts's sparkplates, the smaller bot writhing in his arms, clearly just a few touches away from overloading.

Sari covers her face with her palm. "I thought I said not to do that."

Cyclonus reluctantly removes his servos from the cyclebot, and Thrust whines unhappily. "You wanted me to take Optimus to get a console?"

"Yeah," Sari shifts and sits on Grapple. "He needs one for his room. Thrust can stay here with us while you help him."

The jetbot looks from Thrust to Sari and back again. "No."

She sighs, "Put him down, Cyclonus."

He twitches unhappily, setting the mech on the ground. "I want to take him with me."

"You can't. Or rather, I'm not going to let you." Sari pulls Thrust over, making him sit beside Grapple. "He needs to have some non-interfacing time. He's not some slagging toy."

Thrust blushes lightly, arms crossed demurely in front of him, "I don't mind, Sari. This is much better than anything I had ever hoped would happen."

She rolls her eyes, "You expected me to 'face you and throw you into my nonexistent harem. I don't think you get to decide this right now."

To forestall any further argument, Optimus nods at Cyclonus, "We should get going. I assume you have a correct map file that I can have a copy of?" The file pings when it arrives, and Optimus compares it to his other file. Apparently, the staff had chosen to give him the floorplans of what appeared to be an energon warehouse.

When he sighs, Sari prods him, "They gave you a bad map, didn't they?" He doesn't answer. "They _did_. Okay, that's it. We're leaving. They haven't had anyone out to do anything with us in half a megacyle, and they do all this shit to you. I bet the reason your optics are turning red is because of them. I don't see why we should even bother."

"My optics are doing what?"

"Yeah, focus on the least important part," Sari mutters. "Your optics are turning red. Vibrant Decepticon red."

Optimus blinks in shock, if he wasn't already sitting, he would have landed on the floor. "R-really?"

She sighs, "Yes. Cyclonus, get out a mirror and show him."

Optimus stares in horror at his reflection, and his optics are a deep shade of red. Oh, Primus. What happened?

Sari tilts her head, "Could you put that in a dispenser?"

He nods, inching closer to Thrust unobtrusively, "Just like the glossa number he gave you to put in the Autobot dispenser that one time. It is a temporary change."

"That was _you_?" Optimus says, outraged. "_You_ were responsible for the entire base falling ill? I can't believe you took something from him after only knowing Oil Slick for a single solar cycle! What if it had been _poison_?"

She waves a hand dismissively, "It wasn't poison; you were fine. Besides, he used it on himself before giving it to me. I wasn't going to use it if he hadn't."

Cyclonus slowly moves even closer to Thrust as he murmurs, "He's immune to a very great number of poisons that would offline fifty Decepticons with a single drop. He made most of them himself."

Sari notices the bot approaching and kicks one of his joints. Cyclonus topples back into the soaking pool with an enormous splash that has water shooting up all around him. "I said _no_. Thrust needs some non-molestation time."

The jetbot puts his arms over the edge of the pool, holding himself up, and glares at her, "I want to hold him."

"That's nice. Maybe I've spoiled you by letting you get everything you want, so now you get to deal with finding out some things you want are not acceptable. Thrust is not being held by you. In fact," she claps her hands twice sharply, "Grapple."

The crane bot jumps slightly, blinking dazedly, "... yes?"

"Turn off the music you've been listening to, and hold Thrust for me."

He does as he's asked rather obediently, and Thrust bites back an obvious whine, putting his own servos over his sparkplates to try and cool them.

Cyclonus's face shifts into an expression Optimus hasn't seen in a long time—something akin to battle rage, or the desire to offline another bot. But heavily muted.

Sari sighs, "You can have him back when you can hold him later." Cyclonus's expression does not go away, but Sari ignores him, "We're leaving now, I think."

Optimus sighs, "I still think we should give them another chance."

She rolls her eyes, "They took off when I when into human mode, I don't think I want to deal with them if they're going to be like this."

"They are not used to organics. They haven't insulted you, and they deserve a second chance," Optimus argues for them, not wanting to cut their stay here so short if it could be salvaged in some way. "They undoubtedly assumed that Grapple is your ... lover, and likely meant to give you some private time with him."

Sari makes a face, "He is suffering from a broken spark bond. I'm not going to 'face him." She starts walking, "Let's go. We'll see what we can do to get your optics back to their correct color, since you can't call Ultra like that. We don't want him to wipe out the planet."

Optimus sighs sadly, starting to walk after her, "He wouldn't do that."

Cyclonus climbs out of the pool to follow after them, and Sari scoffs, "You're his intended, he's within his rights. Most bots just don't normally have the means."

"For turning my optics red? Making me look like a Decepticon is ... awful, but not worthy of revenge."

Sari turns to face him, "Optimus, with your frame and size, you don't look like a Decepticon. You look like a Decepticon spark-toy."

Optimus blushes bright red, and hides his optics behind his servos, "No one would do that to me."

She snorts, "Like hell they wouldn't, 'pretty Prime.' That's what they called you, you know. All the Decepticons that wanted to face you called you that behind your back. You were one of the bots they were planning on keeping intact for more than just bragging purposes."

Shaking his head in denial, Optimus tries to battle down his blush. "You're exaggerating. A few of them might have found me ... attractive, but it's not as if they were drawing up a schedule on how to share me amongst themselves."

"Yes they were," Cyclonus says flatly, his optics focused on Thrust.

Optimus gives the other bot a horrified look, "I'm glad we _won_, then." He looks down. "I wouldn't want my first interface to be with a Decepticon."

Sari sighs, "I know. I'm just glad Starscream wanted you to open up on his own terms, and not just because you were so _broken_ at that point."

"Don't remind me of that," Optimus is still deeply ashamed of that part of his life. How low he'd sunk simply because Blackarachnia wasn't interested in him.

Sari pats him gently on the leg, "Well, it's behind us now, even if the seekers keep trying to 'face you. At least they're easily kept in hand. BzzzzZAP."

"They're not trying to interface me." He rubs his forehead, "They gave me a horrifying lesson in how interfacing works, which I am still attempting to remove from my processor, but suspect will haunt me for the rest of my life."

She lets out a loud bark of laughter, "Like frag they _aren't_ trying to 'face you. They want to, and will offer when you have that decacyle of allowance. You _will_ turn them down. You're turning _everyone_ down, and staying at my place so I can make sure of it."

"Not many bots are going to bother offering to me, Sari." Optimus knows a few might— he fully expects Prowl and his lovers to offer — but he's not that attractive. Most bots wouldn't make it past the security desk in his building even if they were daft enough to want to try and 'face him.

"Like hell. At least with ninjabots, they back off after you've said no _once_. You're going to get so many repeat offers from bots you already turned down if you go to work. My place has an obstacle course in addition to all the other shit you need to go through to even get in. I'll be making it much more dangerous, of course. You'll be like a princess in a tower. Only the prince is several bots that keep hitting on you."

"I'm not a princess," Optimus stares straight ahead, hoping it will hide his embarrassment. Thank frag that Bumblebee isn't here to hear this, or he'd be making tasteless jokes about needing to hide Optimus in another castle.

She pats him patronizingly on the leg, "Of course you aren't, Optimus." He's about to protest when she sighs and stops in the middle of the hallway. "Okay, come on out. You've all been watching us since the waiterbot left, and I _can_ tell. You'd think you'd have come out to protest me leaving already, but it is like you _want_ me to never visit any Decepticon friendly planets ever again."

A dozen bots creep out from where they'd been hiding — Optimus feels somewhat vindicated when the corner that kept triggering his alarms reveals a cloaked mech.

"We apologize, Priestess, but," the racecar mech pauses, "High Priestesses are not well-known for their kindness when they do not yet have a full harem."

She rubs her temples, "And picking up a bot from each of the planets I visited didn't really help my insistence that I'm not." She looks right at the racecar bot, and taps her foot, "I'm not looking for a harem at all. Thrust came with because he asked us to, and Cyclonus _really_ likes him. While Grapple wants to have his broken sparkbond to heal; I make it heal much faster than it would normally."

The racecar eyes her suspiciously, "Why did you ask to see the bonded couples on our planet? There are not many — bonding is still quite rare, even among neutrals."

"I want to ask if they want sparkling blessings."

The mech shifts uneasily, "... We'll gather them for you." He pauses, glancing over at Optimus. "And get the antidote for your Prime's optics."

Sari narrows her eyes, "His name is _Optimus_. You should already know this."

"Yes." The bot gives Optimus a deeply unfriendly stare. "Of course. Forgive me for assuming he would want his rank respected."

Optimus shakes his head, "I work at Autobot Command. There are so many Primes there that none of us tend to react to that title at all." He smiles, "I would greatly appreciate the antidote for my optics. If any of the Seekers saw me this way, I'd never hear the end of it."

The seeker mech of the group smiles at him, all denta and flirtation. "They look much better this way." His wings flutter delicately, a fine tremble running down the length of them.

Optimus's spark heats up at the tremble, and he gives it a betrayed look. Edging slowly so Sari is between him and the seeker, he shakes his head, "I'm fairly certain Ultra likes them blue, and so do I."

Pouting, the seeker takes a step back, "They look nice blue, but _better_ red. You should consider allowing the chemical to run its course. They'll revert to normal within a decacycle on their own."

Several other bots are displaying obvious signs of lust — Thrust's engines are revving hard, and he's staring at the seeker with wide optics. Cyclonus doesn't look happy about that.

Sari crosses her arms. "Get the fraggin' antidote, and stop flirting. I'm not going to take responsibility when you inevitably lose a wing for making Thrust's spark pulse. Cyclonus is dangerous when he puts his processor to it, and is even more so now that he's being fixed by Perceptor."

The seeker blinks his optics innocently, "I don't know what you're talking about, Priestess."

"It's Sari, and I wasn't born yesterday. I spent ages around seekers. You're not fucking _subtle_ when you flirt."

The seeker flutters his wings almost innocently, but still a blatant flirt. Thrust whines, one servo rubbing absently at his sparkplates, and Cyclonus's engine rumbles a quiet warning.

She gives the mech a flat look, "Don't be surprised if he tracks you down and rips out your wings." Turning to the racecar, "I'd like to see the bonded bots, and Optimus needs a com console in his room." She pauses, "Or a new room. Whatever."

They're guided to a much larger room, where Sari sits down on an elevated pedestal-platform thing that she declares "Comfortable, even if it looks like some crazy lovechild of a banana chair and a beanbag."

All of the other bots appear extremely uncomfortable, and the bonded bots that slowly file into the room look no calmer.

The racecar fidgets next to her, "Here they are, Priestess. How would you like them to approach you?"

She absently pats the mech on the head, making him flinch. "They can come up in pairs. I want to ask them a few questions."

The bot jerks his head, making a pair of mechs come forward. They are holding servos and shifting uncomfortably as they stand in front of her. "Yes, Priestess?"

"Do you want sparklings?"

The couple blink their optics, startled. "I," the blue cyclebot shifts from ped to ped, "I don't understand. Of course we want sparklings."

Sari rubs her hands, "Awesome. How many, and do you want them now or later?"

The bots exchange a look, before one looks at her aprehensively, "We wouldn't say no to _any_ sparkling, Priestess."

She sighs, "Do you want one with a specific model type? I mean, one of you is a cyclebot, and the other is a tank. I could make it a triple changer if you asked. It would be a mech, though. You don't get a femme if you ask for something as fancy as that."

"We would be happy with any sparkling you grant us, Priestess," the tankbot assures her, pulling the cyclebot against his side. "We would treasure it eternally."

She closes her eyes, and sighs, "Femme cyclebot, it is. You two can decide _when_ to have it. There's no time limit, but he," she points at the cyclebot, "Needs to carry it, or she'll be a tankbot."

The couple give her an excited look, "Thank you, Priestess!" They walk off, and another pair steps forward.

This goes on for a little bit, and Optimus stops paying much attention about the various sparklings that get granted. Until a pair step up and say, "No, Priestess. We don't want a sparkling."

Optimus looks at them, interested again.

"What do you want?" Sari asked, her tone implying that if they asked to 'face her, she would slap them with strange robot STDs that caused public sparkplate opening at random intervals.

The lean against each other, "There's a mech we both really like, but since we're bonded, we can't ask him to join us. Would you be able to fix that?"

Sari tilts her head, then stands up, transforming into bot mode. "I'm not really sure, actually. AllSpark says it isn't happy about this, but fuck the AllSpark. I'll need you to open up for this. Maybe need you to bring that mech in. We'll see."

They both open up for her, and Optimus averts his optics, not wanting to see any more exposed sparks than he has to. He flushes. Unless it's Ultra's. He _likes_ seeing Ultra's spark.

He can hear Sari make a satisfied noise, and the sound of electricity dancing across metal armor plating. "There. I'm pretty sure that's the best I can do. You should be able to 'face the other bot, provided you're all less than a few body-lengths away. Got your spark energies to synch up a bit so they won't lash out the way they used to."

They both hold each other closely as they thank her enthusiastically before taking off happily. The next pair that come ask about sparklings, and Optimus goes back to day dreaming.

That is, right up until _that_ bot enters the room. Even Optimus's spark throbs painfully hot in his chest when the jetbot enters, apparently reassured that Sari was not intent on breaking up sparkbonds and stealing bots for her harem.

* * *

**Please review**

And a lot of people don't read the notes at the top, so I'm rehashing.

There is no way for me to respond to anonymous reviews if I do not get an email or something put there. I _love _to respond to reviews! No review will go unanswered if I can just have a way to respond! Be it email or having an actual account!

And now for something that is not rehashing.

Enough people asked that I'm pretty sure all the readers wandering in later on are also confused (Hello, future readers! Leave me a review with a way to contact you, and I will answer it!), so I'll answer said question!

Sentinel is dead. From seeker attack. Because we don't like him. At all. None of you will have to suffer his smug jerk face in our fic.

... hooray o3o


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, I'm going to tell you right now.

Go to my journal. It is linked in my homepage on my profile.

Just go there.

It has most of this chapter in it. This chapter just had about ten thousand words yanked out of it so that there isn't any porn in it.

If you are showing up long after the fic has been posted, you still have no excuse. I have a very well organized masterlist as the very first post you will see, and you can just scroll right on down to chapter eight of the fic. It is clearly labeled, and you can just read there.

The section I yanked isn't even entirely porn, but I can't just leave that tiny part in because it isn't going to _work. _Just go there now.

Or, if you hate Sari, skip it. I guess. Which is sad, since Tash and I love Sari, and it makes me sad to see people hating on female characters just because this is a slash story. She's here for a reason, and we're never getting rid of her.

Disclaimer: Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

Sari makes a tiny moan low in her throat, transforming back into her botmode and glowing blue. The jetbot and his bonded suddenly start screaming, clutching their chests, right above their sparks. Sari screams, falling off the platform and into the racecar's arms, the blue glow surrounding her and the racecar while the bonded pair stop screaming.

Optimus races to them, but by the time he reaches them, the blue glow has faded, and the racecarbot is staring at his chest in dismay. A bright blue circle outlined in black is stamped on his chest, and a matching set adorn the backs of his servos. "What the slag just happened?" Optimus asks, pulling Sari away from the racecar.

The racecar's voice is dismayed and sparkbroken, "I just got marked as a consort."

Sari blinks online in his arms, clutching Optimus unhappily, "... _fuck_. Let's see if I can fix thi-" she cuts off with a shriek, and curls up, trembling, "I can't unmark you, Afterburner." She reaches over to the mech, crawling into the bot's arms, and petting him gently, "I'm sorry."

The bot's optics dim, and his engines cycle down into a calmer pattern, "I ... I suppose I'm a better choice than a bonded bot." He turns his gaze on her. "Why did you try and stop yourself? It was clear you wanted him. Priestesses and Autobots take what they want, and don't give a slag who gets hurt in the process."

She puts a servo up to his mouth, pressing tiny fingers against it, "I am not like the other priestesses, and not all Autobots take what they want. You may have noticed that Optimus was _happy_ with what you had given him. We are not typical." Taking her servo down, she gently pets Afterburner's chest. "Put me back up there, I'll give them a blessing, but I think this is all for tonight. We need to work through what this means when we're alone."

The racecar gives her a blank look. "Yes. Of course. When we're alone."

Sari is placed back on the pedestal, Afterburner hanging close by, venting in an unhappy pattern. Sari gives him a concerned touch to his shoulder, and then turns to the jetbot and his mate. "I'm sorry for that. It was hard to get the AllSpark to leave your bond alone. What can I offer you to make up for it?"

They both give her a slightly terrified look, the tankbot taking a small step in front of the jet, as if to protect him, "We don't need any blessings, Priestess."

She shakes her head, "Like the Pit you don't. I'm thinking triplets. What do you think about femme triplets? What colors do you want for the optics? Or would you rather have triple-changers?"

They both stare at her in silence, and Optimus follows suit. Triplet femmes are ... rare. Exceptionally rare. The last trio was onlined back before _Ultra_. Triplet femmes with unusual colored optics are unheard of.

She tilts her head, "I'm thinking triple-changers with mis-matched optics. No bot has naturally occuring mis-matched optics. How great would that be? Green, purple, yellow, pink, silver. I'm just calling out colors, choose what you like. Any preferences?"

"What," the jetbot asks, and even his voice is gorgeous, sending a strong pulse through Optimus's spark, "what is the price of what you offer to us?" He steps closer to his bonded.

"Price?" Sari shakes her head. "It's an apology gift."

The bonded pair just huddle together. "Anything you want to give us is fine, Priestess."

She frowns, and Optimus steps forward, "Sari, you're scaring them. You offered them femme triplets with strangely colored optics. There haven't been _any_ since Lockdown was a sparkling. They think this is a bit much for an apology." He glances over at them, "I am pretty sure they think you're going to give them that, then rip them apart. Even though I know you aren't, I'd be slightly terrified if it was me and Ultra in their place."

"You're already getting special sparklings, provided you stay a virgin all the way up to the end of your courtship."

Optimus flushes, and wishes Sari wouldn't say such things in public places at such a high volume. "Sari!"

She scoffs at him, "This isn't about you, anyway." She returns to looking at the bonded pair, "You're getting triplet femmes. Do you want them to be triple-changers? They'd be like Blitzwing! Only sane!" They shake their heads franticly, and Sari pouts, "No one wants triple-changers. You'd think they'd be popular, but they aren't. I don't get it, Blitzwing is a riot when you get him in the right personality."

Optimus makes the executive decision to stop Sari from terrifying them any further. "They'll take triplet femmes with the optics you suggest. Most bot households are not equipped to handle triple-changing sparklings."

She nods. "Okay, triplet femmes, mis-matched optics. There you go." She snaps her fingers, and the pair slows a light blue, "Ta-da. No time limit, either; just like all the others. You two go do your thing, I need Afterburner to come to my room." She ignores as the bots take off, and drops into Afterburner's servos, "Let's go, everyone."

Optimus hovers nearby, "Will you be alright?"

"As good as I'll ever get," she sighs, and looks up at Afterburner, who is attempting to stay calm. "I wasn't expecting _this_ to happen."

She pets the mech's chest absently while they walk out of the room. Optimus sighs softly, "You went on vacation to stop the AllSpark from possessing you so much, Sari. It is understandable you slipped up, even if you now have a consort."

"Lot of good that does the both of us," Sari mutters. "The AllSpark wants me to do some things I am definitely _not_ going to do." She pauses, "Though it's not prodding me as hard as it was before."

"Maybe it is happy you're finally embracing your priestesshood."

She leans her head on Afterburner's chest, right on his sparkplates, "That's very likely, but it was pissed at me for refusing to break a bond."

Optimus isn't sure Sari realizes what she's doing, or how Afterburner must be feeling about it. If they're bonded, both of their sparks should be longing to be in contact, and her touches to his chest must be driving the poor bot mad with lust.

Afterburner shifts her to his shoulder, and she starts to pet the mech's headfins. She comments softly, "Your helmet makes me thing of a lop-eared bunny. You match Cyclonus like that, an adorable little bunny that's so very dangerous, even if you are not nearly as large." She runs a finger along one of the vents, and the racecar bot whimpers softly, "I'm sorry about changing your optic color. If I had known this would have happened, I'd have told you to let me just fall to the floor."

"What's done is done," he manages to grit out, but he turns his head into the touches, reaching up with his free servo to rub absently at his own sparkplates. "We have to live with it."

She nods absently, "Do you have any interests? I'd hate for you to give them up just because you're with me. Thrust didn't have anything he liked doing, but that's because he was groomed into being a consort. You don't have that problem."

"Interfacing," the bot answers, giving her a cold look. "And science."

"So you're like Oil Slick, then. Nice," she draws out the last word, letting it hiss out between her teeth. "Any particular kind of science?"

"The math kind."

She smiles, "I'm certain I can get something for you to do, then. You can help me with accounting for my company."

She starts to massage his headfin, fingers gentle on his vents, and he is clearly trying not to moan. "T-T-That would be fine, Priestess."

Coughing, Optimus attempts to distract them from their foreplay. "I'm still not entirely sure how to get back to my room from here."

Sari blinks at him, still petting Afterburner's headfin, and the racecarbot cuts off a tiny whine to say, "We can have one of the bots lead you there, if you want."

At Optimus's nod, a mech seems to melt into view out of the shadows, "I'll lead you to your new room, if you'd just follow me."

"They'd better fix his lack of com console," Sari warns as they separate, and Afterburner only manages to nod, biting his lip to fight back the obvious whines he wants to make, his fans running full blast.

* * *

Optimus is lead to an entirely different area of the hotel than where he was just a few megacycles ago, and he sighs when he sees his room; it is large enough for him to feel slightly lost when he first steps in. He thanks the mech kindly for showing him the way to it; it isn't the bot's fault that he likes the other room better, after all.

The odds of getting himself back into that first room are rather deplorable, really. It's disappointing, because he is not fond of rooms that make him feel like he needs a map to navigate his way between the berth and washrack. On top of that, now that time has passed, he doesn't have a time window to contact Ultra for megacycles. He vents a sigh.

He decides to explore the room for a bit, to see what is in it. The berth is one with a current flowing through it, and after poking it a bit, he can tell that it isn't an adjustable current, just one that is either on or off. There's a washrack, testing it shows that the solvents aren't heated, but everything is very well maintained and far larger than what he really needs; it is very obviously meant for a Decepticon-sized bot.

It's not a special room, and the thin layer of dust on the top of the table indicates that they didn't force any other bot out of the room just to make space for him. It's an average room for this hotel, and the com console at the desk reassures him that he will be able to contact his intended when the schedule permits.

Taking a soothing ventilation, he walks back out of the room. He'll go explore the hotel with the useable map until it is time to call Ultra, then fall into recharge. Nodding to himself at the plan, he steps into the hallway.

The hotel was designed to be a relaxing place—and the smooth floors and soft-colored walls reflect that. Optimus finds a reflecting pool listed on the map, and heads towards it. If it's anything like the meditation spots Prowl enjoys, he'll have to take a video of it for the ninjabot.

When he gets there, Grapple is glaring down at the pool, looking for all the world like he's trying to set it on fire with his mind. Walking to the cranebot cautiously, he clears his throat to get the mech's attention. Grapple jumps slightly, then looks over at him in confusion, as if he can't remember who he is, then comprehension dawns, and Grapple's optics clear. "Optimus Prime, sir."

"Grapple. What brings you here this solar cycle?" He sits beside the bot, offering what silent comfort he can, simply by being nearby.

"Spark was hurting," the bot answers gruffly, rubbing at his sparkplates. "Couldn't recharge." He picks up a small bit of broken crystal and flings it into the perfectly smooth water, sending distorting ripples out, breaking the reflection of the sculpture and natural crystal growths.

Optimus frowns, "Is... is there anything I could do to help?"

The mech shakes his head, "No. I'll be fine eventually. I knew this would happen."

They sit in silence, the only noise the quiet sounds of their engines, and the soft trickle of water at the edge of the pool. Optimus finds it soothing, but it's clear that Grapple doesn't feel the same. He shifts, his gears grinding with each movement.

Optimus eventually breaks the silence to ask, "Was it worth it? Bonding with him?"

Grapple lets out a soft bark of laughter, "Primus, yes. It would have been so much worse if I hadn't. He hadn't _wanted_ to bond with me. He didn't want me to..." the mech waves over his plates, then gestures every where around him, at a loss for words. There's a long pause before the cranebot continues, "He loved me too much to want me to suffer like this, and I loved him too much to let him leave me so much sooner and in pain."

He stares at the reflecting pool. "He had longer with you?"

"Oh, yeah. Couple thousand stellar cycles more at least. And he didn't suffer much, even near the end." Grapple tosses another crystal piece in the water, and it makes a tiny splash. "He tried hiding that the bond would probably do that for him. Didn't want to pressure me into bonding with him."

Optimus brings a knee up under his chin, watching as another chunk of crystal is chucked into the pool, "You're the one that brought it up, then?"

"I had been telling him for stellar cycles I wanted it, even before I did the research for how it would let him be with me longer. He had _hidden_ it from me. Wouldn't let me near his medical datapads containing it."

"It must have been very difficult, learning that he was hiding that," Optimus said quietly. They were alone, and it was generally considered unprofessional to keep security cameras in places like this, but he didn't want to speak too loudly, out of fear that it would break the tenuous connection he was forging with the other bot.

"Kid, it was worse than difficult. I loved that slagger, and he was hiding something that would help me keep him alive and happy."

He frowns. "I couldn't imagine Ultra doing something like that to me."

Grapple snorts, "But would you do that to the Magnus? I've heard how noble you are. Sari has been explaining how _you'd_ be like Hoist if it was you."

Optimus looks down, blushing faintly: it's true. If he had been dying and the only thing that kept him living longer was bonding with Ultra, he wouldn't want to let Ultra deal with the sparkbreak that would come from his death afterwards.

"Don't hide something like that from the bots you love. Not if you care about them." Grapple rubs his sparkplates again. "This pain? It's worth having had Hoist for as many extra stellar cycles as I could get with him. Worth everything. I don't regret a single klik of time I spent with him, and I'll never regret bonding my spark to his."

Glancing over at Grapple, he asks faintly, "What is bonding like?"

Grapple smiles for the first time since he's seen the bot, a light and happy twist of the lips, "The most wonderful feeling in the world. Your bonded knows, without a single doubt, how much you love him and you know how much he loves you."

Flushing, Optimus looks down at his peds. "And the ... the ..."

Taking pity on the smaller bot, Grapple finishes for him, "The interfacing? It's amazing. Nothing can ever compare to it. Your sparks _know_ each other, and it makes it ..." he shakes his head, "I don't even have slagging words for how good it is."

Optimus' faceplate is bright red, "I've... I've never..." He hides his head in his arms, and grapple pats his back.

"Sari said. Apparently, that's supposed to mean it is even better. Or so the AllSpark told her, she wasn't really sure, and didn't want to talk to you about it." The mech pauses, "Didn't really want to talk to _me_ about it. I'm not sure how an AllSpark Priestess is supposed to get through life without being able to talk about interfacing. I'm sure having Afterburner will help with that."

He offlines his optics, trying not to think about what Sari might be doing with the bot she'd marked as consort. "Perhaps. I can only hope that she will be happy. And that Afterburner is not planning on offlining any of our friends or family." They do have a rather high incidence rate of bots attacking them.

Grapple shrugs, "I doubt he'd be _able_ to. From what I know about consorts, they aren't normally much more than a bot the Priestess uses to shove excess energy in. Even if the first one is normally adored."

"We'll be keeping a close optic on the both of them, just in case."

The cranebot leans back, "He'll help her appreciate her spark better. Teach her to enjoy interfacing, hopefully. Priestess needs an outlet for their energy when they're not blessing bots nonstop. And overloads help." He rubs his sparkplates. "Hope she doesn't suddenly decide to start acting like the previous Priestesses. She doesn't seem the type, but you can't tell with this sort of thing."

Optimus frowns. "What did the previous Priestesses do?"

Grapple rolls his optics, "You're too young to know, and most likely didn't get told the stories. Most Autobots try to forget about the Priestesses, because they go crazy. There's something about the AllSpark imbuing you with a ton of power that means you stop thinking clearly. Or makes you think _too_ clearly. The Priestesses weren't very open on that before they got assassinated for deciding to destroy something that an important bot loved."

"Sari would _never_ do something like that," Optimus declares, and then sinks in on himself a bit. "Not without a very good reason. And we would never let her be assassinated." His spark hurts just imagining it. "The AllSpark created her—I can't imagine having more of its energies will drive her mad." Remembering the way she'd been acting earlier, he amends, "No more so than an unbalanced charge would make any bot act."

Grapple gives him a nervous look. "I'm sure Afterburner will help. Consorts are supposed to be able to calm Priestesses."

Optimus rubs his upper arm, nodding absently. "No reason she wouldn't be doing better after her charge is balanced." _He_ is doing better now that his is, after all.

The bot offers him a sly look. "Balanced charge levels are great. I'm sure you're aware of that, even without any history of interfacing."

He flushes. "I'm not sure I should answer that."

Grapple pats his back. "You don't have to." The mech throws a crystal in the pool again. "But, yes, Priestesses are fairly unstable near the end of the time they reign. Maybe Sari will break that because of how differently she was raised in comparison to all the others."

"She will," Optimus has nothing but confidence in Sari's abilities. She'll be the best Priestess there ever was, and she'll outlive all of them. She is the youngest, after all.

The cranebot stands up in the fading light. "It is good to be confident about this sort of thing." The mech reaches down with a single servo, pulling him up, "I'm certain she'll be even better when we see her later."

His systems heat up again, and his faceplates flush. "Yes. She will be better later." He refuses to think about why, or how her charge will no longer feel so discordant when she cuddles against him.

Grapple pats his back again, and starts to walk off, making Optimus he jog to catch up. "Maybe I'll heal faster because of it, as well."

Optimus smiles. "That would be nice. Will you still be staying the entire time if you do?"

"Of course I will." Grapple's longer paces are hard to keep up with, but Optimus manages. "I'm hoping I'll get to meet your Magnus at the end of all of this."

Optimus flushes. "I'm sure he'd be happy to meet with you. Ultra is very friendly."

"Sari talked about how he got Cyclonus out of prison for her, and how he's working on freeing Spittor." Optimus can't figure out if Grapple is approving of that or not, the tone is too neutral to tell.

Optimus only nods, confirming that Ultra _is_ working on that task. He's not entirely certain it's a wise idea himself — Spittor is dangerous in ways that Cyclonus never will be, even with code to suppress his ability to attack.

They part ways, Grapple clasping a servo in goodbye before walking in a different direction. He wants to head back to his room to call Ultra, anyway. The thought of Ultra's smiling face speeds his peds, and he makes it to his room in record time.

Safely ensconced in his room, Optimus settles down at the console and enters his beloved's frequency in, waiting for him to answer. He's greeted by a rather unexpected sight — Ultra is covered liberally with various colors of bright paint in strange patterns. "Were you attacked by an irritable artist?"

The corners of Ultra's mouth quirk up at that. "A pack of them, actually. The minibot sparklings paid us a visit this solar cycle."

Optimus smiles with his bot. "Were they in your office, then?"

Ultra chuckles, shaking his head, "We actually used the daycare. I _had_ to go visit them while they were there. I can barely remember when we had enough sparklings on site to warrant the use of it. It was wonderful."

"And you were so excited that you allowed them to ... repaint you?" Optimus lifts a servo to hide his smile, pretending to cough.

Ultra tips his head back and forth, to show off the various drawings they'd put on him. "I think it's a very striking use of color and shape. Also, a striking example of how sparklings can find armor-grade paint in a room meant to have only washable inside."

He ducks his head, hiding a wider smile, "Just like covering a recharging bot in stickers when they don't recharge through the night."

Ultra grins. "Using stickers to tape blocks on said recharging bot, as well."

"Perhaps he missed seeing me with wings?" Optimus asks, shifting his shoulders in a way that he hopes reminds Ultra of the few times he'd worn the winged jetpack mod. Personally, he'd never seen the appeal of it. He'd looked like a truckbot with cheap wings stuck on his back. But other bots seemed to disagree with his assessment.

Ultra's optics are dim, and he can hear a faint rev of engines. He blushes, dropping his head again as his mech murmurs, "He wouldn't be the only one."

Tapping his fingers together, Optimus looks up from under the brim of his helmet, "But what else did you do aside from playing with sparklings? Even if nothing else could compare to that."

"There were reports to work on, and an upcoming treaty re-negotiation with a few of the outlying planets in our system." He waves a servo. "Nothing you weren't already aware of." He leans closer to the screen, "Has anything interesting happened to you?"

Optimus slumps forward, rubbing his optics. "Yes. I don't want to talk about it, but it would be irresponsible not to. Sari ... claimed a consort. By accident."

Ultra blinks at him in surprise. It is about a klik later that his mech responds, "Maybe she'll be happier because of it? I know from experience that Priestesses need consorts."

"We can hope it'll turn out for the best," Optimus vents a quiet huff of air. "It's my fault, of course. This vacation has been ... less than restful thus far, for both of us."

Ultra gives him a confused look, "How is that your fault?"

"If I hadn't agreed to go to this wo-"

Ultra cuts him off, "I was unaware that you had a _choice_ when you went on vacation, Optimus. Sari had this planned for quite a while, and you were going even if we had to drug you."

Optimus flushes. "This vacation was unnecessary. We will bond ... not too long from now, and will need to take _another_ vacation then. I could have waited until then."

His bot smiles at him, "If Sari _accidentally_ claimed a consort, she's the one that needed the vacation. It is better that you're with her, so she has family. Just enjoy being away from work, Optimus."

"It's difficult to do that when being away from work means being away from _you_," he murmurs, dimming his optics. "I miss being held in your arms. I look forward to being able to recharge with you."

Ultra moves closer to the screen, optics dimming in return. "I do, too. You'll be back before too long, even though Sari extended your vacation time."

He touches the screen. "When we do return, I think I will spend megacycles kissing you." Optimus brings a servo up to his mouth, gently licking his fingertips. "Relearning your taste."

Ultra revs helplessly, bringing fingers up to his own mouth almost unconsciously. "I will be waiting for you at the dock when we see each other again, and not through a vidscreen."

"I look forward to it," Optimus lets his fingers slip up to one headfin, and he gives it a slow, single stroke, spark pulsing hot in his chest. He drops his servos to his lap. "You should call me in the morning."

Ultra's optics follow his servo, "Of course. Anything for you, Optimus."

He lifts the servo to his lips, and presses the kiss to the camera. "I love you."

"And I, you," Ultra returns the pseudo-kiss, before leaning back in his seat. "Think of me before you recharge tonight."

"Oh, I promise that I will," Optimus murmurs, before disconnecting the call, half-expecting Sari to scold him.

He sits there for a moment before smiling, Afterburner must really be distracting her. He stands up, and heads to the berth. He had an order from his Magnus to follow, after all.

* * *

He onlines to the sound of his console informing him of a call. Glancing down, he snaps his plates closed, locking them quickly. He shoves the static glove in his subspace, and sits in the chair. He smiles at Ultra when he answers the com, a faint blush on his faceplate. "Did you recharge well?"

"Very well," Ultra's optics take him in, and Optimus is suddenly aware that he has blue paint from his servos smeared on his sparkplates. His blush deepens. Ultra says happily, "I assume you have not yet had a chance to refuel or polish yourself."

He flushes even harder. "You woke me up. I wanted to talk to you before I did anything else."

His mech smiles, shifting slightly in the chair. "You're welcome to fuel up while we talk, Optimus. I don't want you energy-deprived."

The cube of energon he gets from the dispenser is mid-grade. He can tolerate that easily enough. Optimus sits once more, holding his cube carefully. "You've already fueled?"

"Yes." Ultra's optics are hot and intense. "Drink your fuel."

He looks down, and sips from the cube. "What do you plan on doing today, Ultra?"

His mech waves a servo negligently, still deeply focused on him. "There's just a council meeting I need to go to, but nothing else of any importance."

Optimus licks energon from his lips, and flushes when he realizes that Ultra's optics track the movement of his glossa. "Council meetings can be rather ... tedious. I wish you the best of luck."

"I shouldn't need it, but I'm thankful for the sentiment none the less, Optimus." Ultra leans forward a bit. "And what do you have planned for today? Nothing too strenuous, I hope."

"Not strenuous, no." Optimus finishes his energon and licks his lips again, slowly this time. "I am unsure what Sari had planned, but the addition of a consort will likely alter those plans for today. Still, I don't anticipate anything too dangerous or stressful."

Ultra bites his lower lip before answering. "I heard there is a reflecting pool in the hotel you're in. Maybe you'd like to check that out?"

Optimus smiles brightly, "I actually already went there last night before I called you. I had a nice talk with Grapple, in fact."

"Is he doing better? A broken bond is one of the most terrible things that can happen to a bot."

Ultra's concern for other bots is one of the things Optimus has always loved about him. He smiles as his intended, "He _is_ doing better. And we hope that now that Sari has ... a consort, he will continue to heal at a faster rate."

Ultra smiles. "It is very likely she will be able to increase his speed of recovery. It was amazing she's been able to do as much as she has without one. I imagine it will only get easier for her as time goes on. Healing a broken sparkbond is one of the most important jobs of a Priestess."

"I suppose we should be grateful that sparkbonds are ... out of fashion, and it is quite rare for one bonded bot to offline." Optimus touches the screen. "I know I would be sparkbroken if I ever lost you."

"I am very unlikely to ever be lost, Optimus. There is no reason to even think about such a thing for us." His beloved touches the screen in return. "If I haven't offlined yet, I won't in the future."

Optimus's spark flutters, and he's hard-pressed not to do something inappropriate like _touch his sparkplates_ in front of Ultra. "We will make sure to do our best to live for each other." He dims his optics, "Since we have so much to look forward to."

Ultra's engine revs. "I know what _I'm_ looking forward to, why don't yo-" His mech stops talking to frown, and lift a finger to his forehead, "Excuse me, Optimus, Cliffjumper is comming me, and it must be important."

His optics turn away from the screen, and Ultra frowns, "Calm down, Cliffjumper. I can barely understand a word you're saying." He pauses. "If the delegates arrived early, keep them occupied. Show them vids of your sparklings." Another pause, then: "Vids without Shockwave."

It takes a little bit longer, and Ultra turns back to him with a sigh. "I need to go, Optimus. I had wanted to be with you longer, but it can't be helped." His mech stands up. "I love you."

He smiles, pressing fingers to the screen. "I love you, too."

Kliks later, Optimus is left wondering if his companions are online yet. If Sari had done what ... she likely had done, with her brand new consort, she would likely still be offline and recharging. He certainly wasn't going to com her to find out, especially if he might be interrupting ... whatever it was she might be doing with her consort. His processor hurt, thinking about it.

* * *

**Please review**

I told you to go read this chapter in my journal! I know you like this site, it makes it easy to read and blah blah blah. But there is a _reason _this chapter is so short! I took out _so much_.

My journal is linked in my profile in my homepage.

I get that you most likely think I'm only telling you to do this for page views. I'm _not. _I'm doing it to stay in fanfiction dot net's TOS. _Please read this in my journal so you get it all, instead of just a tiny little portion of the fic. _If you want to review there, you can. If you don't, then don't. I can't even bring myself to care right now. My computer is screaming at me to restart, so I am just posting this now.

_Read this chapter in my journal._


	9. Chapter 9

Okay, I'm just angry at the site right now, it erased all of my notes. All of my notes on here because it decided to randomly sign me out. FFFFFFFFFFFFF

... I don't feel like rewriting all of that, so you get a quick version.

I may or may not post chapter eleven, a new story may be coming out if Vivienne isn't too busy from it being November, and I don't want a vote or whatever nonsense you are thinking for saying yes or no to chapter eleven being posted.

Disclaimer: Transformers isn't mine.

* * *

He looks in a mirror; all his paint scuffs have been cleaned off, and he's fully fueled: he may as well go wandering. He won't leave the hotel, since he's not sure how well the planet at large will receive him, but the hallways are safe enough. Maybe he can see what the reflecting pool looks like in morning light.

The guests seem to shy away from him when he gets too close, but Optimus had lived with worse reactions from the humans for a very long time on Earth. It was rather irritating that each time he built rapport with them, the Decepticons would destroy something, or a particularly insulting, careless Autobot would come along to convince the humans that bots were insensitive glitches.

When he makes it to the pool, he smiles. It is absolutely wonderful to look at. There are crystals littering the edges of it, but they only serve to heighten the beauty. Remembering his vague thought from the night before, he starts to record it for Prowl. He's certain that the ninjabot will love it.

The pile of broken crystal shards seems intentional now, and he picks a few up to throw them in. The reflection of crystal and metal is even more stark and crisp under daylight, and the ripples the crystal fragments make smooth the edges, giving it all a shifting, surreal look. He can see why Grapple chose to spend time here.

He eventually sits on the ground, and it is several megacycles later that a pair of small arms wraps around his neck, and a tiny face rubs into the back of his helmet. He moves slightly, and pulls Sari into a hug, holding her gently. She beams up at him, and he's happy that her charge against his frame no longer makes him worry about her health. He smiles down at her. "Did you have a plan for what you wanted to do for the rest of the day?"

Her optics dart back to the racecarbot behind her. "Thought Afterburner could show us around the city. Since they're having that huge party-thing. He should know where to go to avoid the crazier bits of it."

Optimus smiles. "Are we walking or do you need a ride?"

She glances over to her consort, "He said that we will need to be in vehicle mode, and was really disappointed when I pointed out that he can't really take me there since he doesn't have seats."

"I would be happy to carry you, Sari," Optimus offers, trying to ignore the way Afterburner shoots a dark, menacing glare at him. He will have plenty of opportunity to drive Sari places after he scans a vehicle alt with seats inside.

He stands up, and she hugs him again, "Thank you, Optimus."

He smiles, and hands her gently to the racecarbot, "But I'm sure we can wait until after we leave the hotel to go to vehicle mode. Give you more time with... your consort. A new bond needs tending."

Afterburner holds her carefully, claws stroking her frame gently. When they tickle her transformation seams, she slaps his servo. "Hey, not in public, pervbot."

The racecar whispers something softly in her audios as they walk, and she kisses him lovingly before whispering back. Optimus averts his optics, not really wanting to intrude.

When they get to the door, Afterburner reluctantly sets her on the ground before transforming. Optimus keeps from laughing as the mech clearly poses just to catch Sari's optics. She kisses the bot on the window before climbing into Optimus's cab.

"Make sure you buckle your seatbelt, Sari," Optimus warns here. "I'm not sure how rough the roads or crowds will be here."

"Duh," she snaps the buckle in place, "I'm not _stupid_, Optimus. Not even after a night of fucking my brains out."

Optimus's engine stalls, and he can't stop the unhappy shudder that runs through his frame. It takes him a bit, but he finally manages to ask, not able to keep the horrified tone from his voice, "Why do you say such things? What would you do if I said that about me and Ultra?"

She sorts, "Then I'd have to inform you that you broke your courting, and the AllSpark is pissed at you."

He revs his engine unhappily. "That's not funny."

"It's terribly amusing." She pats his seat. "And the AllSpark is pissed at you for something you did last night. But honestly, if it won't give me the specifics this time, it probably realizes it's not something I'm gonna rag on you about."

He twirls his wheels, embarassed by the AllSpark's scolding, even if Sari doesn't care. "I'll try not to do it again, anyway."

She shrugs. "You're most likely fine, as long as you don't go too far." She pauses, looking out of his window as they travel down the streets, "How would you like to speed up the courting?

His tires squeal on the pavement as he almost runs off the road. Afterburner scrapes up against his side with a hiss, "If you cannot drive safely, Sari would be better off riding on _top_ of me."

Optimus manages to get himself back on track, "No. That will not be necessary, unless Sari wants it. She just made a rather ... startling offer to me." The racecar's engine growls angrily before the mech speeds up, and he belatedly realizes how _bad_ that sounded to a bot so recently bonded. Letting it go, he coughs nervously before answering her question, "I'd love that, Sari. Is there anything specific you need me to do?"

"Not really," she shifts uncomfortably, watching Afterburner ahead of them. "Just don't fuck it up. I was going to have you sleep in separate berths in his house for a couple months. Now we'll drop that down to a couple weeks."

His tires squeal excitedly, "Really? I'll get to be with Ultra sooner?"

She kicks him, still staring at the racecar, "Not if you act like this. Don't tell Ultra, either. He _will_ fuck it up if he knows."

"He would not," Optimus protests for his intended's sake.

"He'd think I was being lenient about _everything_ and then you'd end up sprawled out under him, having your sparkplates licked."

He blushes again, "H-he wouldn't. He knows how important this is to me."

She sighs, "Well, keep it a secret anyway. He can be happy when the schedule is moved up as he's informed you get to sleep in his berth months sooner than he thought you would be."

"I appreciate that you are allowing us this, Sari," Optimus says, turning on the air conditioning in his cab to cool her down. She'd always liked that when they were on Earth.

She giggles softly, one servo on his door and the other on his vents, "You're being very good about this, Optimus. Good enough for you _and_ Ultra. I think you deserve to speed it up a little."

"Thank you," he murmurs, enjoying her touches. He'd never expected to have another bot inside him — he was no medicbot, after all, but he'd grown to like it. Even if the internal components for carrying a human were useless accessories as a bot, it was nice to be able to do it.

They continue down the road like that for a bit longer, and another bot rushes by. He's not sure if it is deliberate or not, but he's splashed all along his side with mud and sharp gravel. He mentally shrugs, not really minding, accidents _do_ happen, but he has to stop because Afterburner has transformed and yanked the mech that did it off the road.

"How _dare_ you insult the _High Priestess_ like that?" he hisses, slamming the bot against a nearby building.

The poor bot is wide-opticked and panicking. "What Priestess? I didn't do anything-"

Sari hops out of Optimus's cab. "Let me get some of that mud off while we're waiting for my consort to calm the frag down."

He hands her a cloth. "It isn't a big deal, Sari. It isn't like he meant to do it."

She sighs and starts to clean him, "You're really too nice at times, you know that? It is pretty obvious he d_id_ mea-" She cuts herself off, rushing to the to neutrals, "Hey! Afterburner! Stop! What the fuck are you _doing_?"

The racecar freezes part way through digging claws into the mech's plating, "I'm going to rip out his spark for insulting you."

"No, you're so not," she grabs his servo and pulls it away from the other bot. "You're going to apologize for trying to kill him, and then we're going to get Optimus cleaned up and pretend this didn't happen." She ignores the mech frantically trying to apologize and plead for his life at the same time. "Got it?"

Optimus transforms into botmode to pick out the bits of gravel that got into his joints. "Really, we don't need to clean me up, either. It's just mud."

Afterburner's servos shake in anger, "He _insulted_ yo-"

Sari cuts the mech off, "_No_. I don't care if he did, and neither should you. If you're going to react this way to mud, I'm not sure if I can let you on Cybertron where they call me a _whore_."

His engines _roar_ with rage, and Sari jabs him in the chest with a single finger. "Calm the fuck down. It's gotten better now that I moved to the ninjabot neighborhood. You'll like my neighbors, if you can _calm down and not try to offline anyone else this solar cycle_."

The racecarbot twitches unhappily then pulls her into his arms, holding her tightly, "I will not let _anyone_ insult you."

She sighs, "You're going to have to live with bots doing it. Now apologize to Nitroblast for trying to murder him. Splashing mud on someone isn't a reason to justify crushing a bot's spark."

"I am sorry for wanting to exact vengeance on a bot who grievously insulted you, Sari."

"I didn't say apologize to me." She shook her head. "Apologize to Nitroblast."

With a reluctance that could not be hidden, Afterburner turns to face the other bot. "I ... apologize for attacking you." _Even though you deserve it_ was not said aloud, but it didn't really _have_ to be. Not with the look he gives the bot.

Nitroblast coughs nervously, "I don't need an apology. But, uh," he glances at Afterburner's claws, "I absolutely accept. There is no need to demand he do anything else, High Priestess. I'll go help clean the Autobot off."

Optimus looks up. "I don't need any help."

"Please, let me make amends for splashing you," the bot insists, pulling polish from his subspace.

Optimus takes a step back, raising his servos. "Really, I'm fine. I got most of the mud off. You can get back to whatever it was you were doing." He looks at the bot's chest, "Or you could go visit a medicbot."

Sari sighs as she's carried in Afterburner's arms to the road, "He's a courting bot, Nitroblast. You're going to be _way_ too close to his plates. Go to a medic, and be careful of mud."

The bot transforms and flees, shouting apologies back at them. Optimus transforms down as well, popping a door open for Sari.

Afterburner glares at him. "You should have _helped_ me."

Sari slips out of the racecar's arms as Optimus chuckles softly, "And what would killing him have solved? If getting splashed with mud was something worth getting upset about, I would have never been able to survive earth."

Afterburner picks Sari back up, cuddling her close, "No one should _ever_ give such a deliberate insult to the priestess."

She pokes the mech in the faceplate, "_Sari_. I liked it more when you just called me by my _name_. We're _married_. Don't call me by a title."

"Sari," the bot kisses her gently. "_My_ Priestess."

She plants both servos on his sparkplates, and Optimus looks away. "I suppose I can deal with _that_ sometimes."

Afterburner's engine purrs happily. "I want to carry you the rest of the way."

She sighs, "I guess we can walk. If you think it is close enough."

His happy engine grinds down unpleasantly. "It's a bit far for a walk. Are you sure you won't consider riding on top of me?"

"Not without a seatbelt." She mock-whispers the next part, and Optimus _knows_ she does it just to horrify him. "Or without a berth nearby."

Optimus shudders as Afterburner nuzzles into her. "I'll scan an earth vehicle so you can ride in me as soon as possible. Are you _sure_ we can't go there when we leave the planet?"

She presses a soft kiss to his faceplate before slipping out of his arms. "I am. We'll go after we set up on Cybertron."

"Not soon enough, if you have to rely on your Prime for transportation," Afterburner grumbles, following after her. "What do you even do in that cab of his?" Claws keep Optimus from closing his cab door after Sari slips inside. "There's nothing interesting in there."

She snorts, pushing the claws away, "I _sit_. What did you expect?"

Afterburner looks like he wants to hiss, but is just barely refraining, "His windows are dark. I want to see you."

"You can call me on the com if you want to talk. You don't need to see me every fragging second of the day." She slams Optimus's door, and then pats the door handle. "Sorry."

"It's alright," Optimus reassures her. She never slams his doors hard, even when she's irritated or upset.

Sari is immediately commed by Afterburner, and since the racecar is just next to him, Optimus hears every word. "Are you okay?" The carbot is very twitchy as they ride along the road, making Optimus sigh.

Sari sighs with him. "Why the hell wouldn't I be?"

"You are inside an Autobot who is not well-loved on our planet." The bot skims closer. "And it must be very boring inside of him. You should come out. Ride on me." He revs his engine. "I'll make it exciting."

She rubs her temples in irritation. "If I had wanted exciting, I would already be with you. I am riding in Optimus because he has _seatbelts_."

Optimus picks one of the more relaxing songs he has in his database, and turns the volume on low on his radio, hoping it will help ease her potential processor ache away. "She is fine where she is, Afterburner. If she wished to be elsewhere, she would. Sari is a very strong-willed individual."

The racecar's engine growls angrily, only to stop when Sari snaps out, "Stop that. Optimus is _never_ going to be a bot you need to be jealous of because of me. He helped _raise_ me for god's sake. And I fragging told you, he's the virgin half of a courting couple. You're being _stupid_."

The bot slides away from them and sulks all the way to their destination, which is apparently a crystal garden-maze of some sort. Afterburner transforms and holds out his servo for Sari. "I will guide you through the maze. There is a stunning collection of rare crystals at the center, and any bot that finds their way there is entitled to take a single piece to remember it by."

She sighs, but allows him to pick her up. The mech's glare at Optimus solidified his suspicion that the offer is _only_ for the tiny femme. He transforms into bot mode, and looks around, "Com me when you are ready to leave, Sari. I'll go explore on my own."

"Don't get yourself lost, Optimus," she warns him, before Afterburner disappears with her into the maze. He's glad there are few bots here at the moment, because the ones who _are_ nearby are glaring at him in a very unfriendly manner.

He stifles a sigh, and heads into the maze. He's glad for his mapping systems, but he'll go with the old standby for mazes. Servo on the wall, and follow the wall the entire way to get to where you want to go. He knows that you're supposed to follow the _left_ wall, but he imagines that, since this is a Decepticon friendly planet, they would know that, and make the shortest distance to the right. He heads right.

After a klik of walking, he stumbles upon a small alcove behind a delicately beaded crystal curtain. He pushes the strings of crystal apart, and his optics widen.

It's a berth.

A berth in the middle of the maze. He flushes crimson. Oh, Primus, he's going to _offline_ if he accidentally stumbles upon bots actively interfacing in one of these.

He hurries on his way, and makes a note not to go too close to any of the beaded curtains. He wouldn't be surprised, however, if the only way to get to the center is by going through several of the places with berths. Ignoring that thought, he continues on.

Primus, he's sick of hearing bots interfacing _loudly_ when he passes the berth areas as quickly as possible. In one particular alcove, his audios inform him that there were _five_ different bots involved in making the noise.

He makes it to the center of the maze fairly quickly when he offlines his audios so he doesn't pay attention to the various bots. It is... impressive, that's for certain. The many colors and array of crystal is utterly stunning. The light of the sun hitting it is almost blinding. He records a little bit of it to show Prowl later, knowing the ninjabot will like it.

With his audios back online, he can even _hear_ the crystals. Some of them have absorbed the sunlight, and ring out beautiful, soothing tones when the wind blows through them. He sits on one of the many benches around the edges, to watch and listen. It is very soothing, and he imagines he would be able to achieve recharge here very easily.

He vaguely considers actually doing it, but remembering the looks from the bots when he headed in the maze stops him. Instead, he just starts to record the sounds. It will be nice to hear it when he _does_ recharge, and again, Prowl would like it. He could also send it to Ultra, since it would be nice to be able to share it with his intended.

Every color and type of crystal he could imagine can be found here — save for the rarest kinds, which would never be placed in a public-accessible area — and it means that Optimus has a very hard choice to make. What kind should he take back with him? Something that went well with Cora crystal? Perhaps he should take something in a stark, contrasting color, for better visual effect?

He's searching through them slowly, looking around carefully, when Sari is carried in by a very smug Afterburner. A quick glance at Sari confirms his suspicion, telling streaks of paint on her frame, and he returns his attention to the crystals. He's debating between a white and blue striped one and an orange one with green dots when Sari walks up to him and says, "White and blue. It will match more of your garden when you grow them."

The crystal breaks off easily from the main collection, and he tucks it carefully away in his subspace. They have planting solution back on the ship somewhere—if they don't, he'll purchase some.

Sari prods a few of them, tapping them to see if they resonate with interesting tones or not. She eventually picks a piece of a truly hideous crystal — it's mottled and diseased looking, but it rings with the most haunting noise when anything taps it. "This thing looks totally gross. I bet the sparklings will love it when they visit."

Afterburner makes a face at the crystals, but picks a piece that matches Sari's paint. "I have so many of these things. Never got in the habit of growing them."

Optimus tilts his head in confusion. "What about all those crystals growing by the reflecting pool?"

"Got staffbots, don't I? I don't take care of those fragging things." The fact that he's a consort is made very plain by the way Sari shoves both crystals into his subspace and the bot doesn't so much as flinch. "I used to break them apart and throw them in the water until the bot taking care of them stopped by my room one night and dumped the pieces on me. Now he keeps a stack near the edge of the pool so I'll stop damaging his precious pets."

Optimus shrugs. "Well, it is a little hard to damage crystals irreparably."

The racecarbot gives him a slightly surprised look before smiling, "That's what _I_ said. He didn't seem to believe me."

Sari gives them both a look that seems to indicate they are being glitches. "Were any of the crystals expensive or hard to grow?"

Afterburner waves his servo negligently. "I bought the whole start-up lot at some old rummage sale in a shop going out of business ages ago. Couldn't have been anything special in there, seeing as I got the entire box for less than a cube of high-grade."

Sari frowns, but nods. "Are we ready, then?"

Optimus looks around. "Yeah." He isn't looking forward to passing by all the various berths filled with bots, but he does want to return to the hotel. Or go to whatever party Sari decides is next. He doesn't mind either way.

Surprisingly, Afterburner leads them out of the maze in a way that passes by less than a servo-full of berth areas. "There's a festival with several booths stocked with organic food, if you would like to visit it, Sari."

She nods slowly, leaning against the carbot. "Sounds good."

The mech seems to relax, claws gentle on her frame. "We're hoping that you like what there is, since this planet isn't like the other ones you visited. We never had a vested interest in making sure you fixed a curse like the one placed on New Axis."

"It was a stupid curse. They didn't need to give me _anything_ to make me lift it." Her mouth twists a bit in thought, "Well, if they ever invited me there specifically to do it, I'd expect compensation for travel expenses, but we went to New Axis on vacation."

Afterburner kisses her softly on the helmet. "Never the less, it is always better if you like what we provide."

She cuddles against him. "I won't get angry if I can't eat something. I can barely stand to eat the things you guys think are fantastic. I don't expect anyone to know exactly the best way to cook."

"If you'll teach _me_, I will gladly learn it for you, _my_ Priestess," Afterburner whispers into her audio, tweaking a pigtail with his claws. "Then you can see if it tastes as good off my servos as energon does off of your spark?"

Optimus flushes crimson and offlines his audios.

He's thankful for Sari's shake of the head. He onlines them cautiously in time to hear, "-se me. Remember? Don't say things like that in front of him."

Afterburner sighs, but nods. "Yes, Sari."

She shoots Optimus an apologetic glance. "Sorry. I guess he's not housebroken yet. Gonna have to work on that. And on reminding him he's not allowed to swoon over the Seekers when they visit."

The racecar seems to deflate. "But seekers a-"

She snorts, "Very pretty to look at, but frustrating. Starscream bittered them for me, even if his clones are funny."

"They're so very talented in the b-"

"Yeah, I'm sure they do all sorts of crazy acrobatic awesomeness when they're interfacing," Sari prods him. "But I don't want to hear about it. I have to hear enough when they drop by and gossip with each other."

The mech just sighs, "But I _am_ allowed to look, right?"

"As long as you don't try anything or suggest they join us. That's not happening."

Afterburner vents another sigh, this one long and theatrical. "For you, I suppose I can _try_ not to end up underneath another seeker."

Sari's optics glow, and her engine revs, "Not unless he's a consort too. And I don't plan on having _any_ seekers."

Afterburner nuzzles her lovingly. "You said. A bot can dream, can't he?"

She kisses him. "Not when it involves seekers powered by the AllSpark."

Optimus coughs, and they separate, turning to face him. "You mentioned something about a festival? I would like to see it. Do they have any games or other activities going on?"

He gets a half-frigid look from Afterburner for interrupting his kisses. "They might. I'm unsure if they'll let you play any."

Optimus mostly expected that, actually, but he's not going to let it get him down. He smiles slightly, "That's fine. I'll just watch as you win Sari a prize in one."

Afterburner seems to perk up a bit. "I can. When we get there, you can choose what you'd like me to get you, Sari."

She gives Optimus a dark glare. "Yeah. Sure. I'll pick something out."

She flits up to Afterburner's shoulder and sits on him. The festival is within walking distance, and they can hear the music and the sounds of bots enjoying themselves long before they see it. Optimus is surprised by the number of bots attending. Perhaps they are making the best of a festival they felt they _had_ to throw for Sari.  
They make their way through the festival, Optimus trailing a little behind, since he doesn't want to interrupt Sari and Afterburner fawning over each other. He's stopped by a rather large jetbot glaring down at him, who grabs him roughly by the shoulder and growls out, "What are _you_ doing here?"

Optimus stares briefly at the servo holding him in place. "I was accompanying Sari and Afterburner to this festival, before you stopped me. Did I do something wrong?" He looks back behind him, trying to determine if he's inadvertently knocked anything over. Optimus can't see anything out of the ordinary.

The bot's optics narrow, claws tightening on his shoulder to leave tiny dents. He takes a calming ventilation, nothing good will come of this if he gets hostile, and the jet hisses out, "The priestess doesn't need a tiny Autobot truckbot to ... accompany her to the festival."

"She did," Optimus protests, letting the insult go in and out of his processor. "I am the only bot on this planet with seatbelts for her."

The bot's blank look when he said "seatbelts" does not make him feel very safe, especially when the claws tighten. He's about to elaborate when there's an angry blue glow over the jet's shoulder. He winces and offlines his optics as Sari shrieks out, "What do you think you're _doing_?"

"I," the bot stutters, dropping Optimus, "_Priestess_, I was only defending your honor. This Autobot defiles you with his presence."

Her engine growls dangerously, and her optics flash bright blue. "You claim that my _chosen_ companions do _what_ to me?"

The mech starts to stutter, and Optimus steps quickly between the bot and Sari. He puts a servo on her shoulder, "It is just a misunderstanding, Sari. I'm sure he didn't mean what you think."

"You know," she says casually, hopping up to Optimus's shoulder so she can see the jetbot again, "you're _really_ lucky I'm not like other Priestesses. They'd curse you like that," she snaps her fingers in demonstration, and the jetbot drops to his knees, whimpering out apologies. "But I'm not like that. _I_ won't punish you for the stupid, _stupid_ things you said. Or for insulting my _family_, because that's what he _is_. He helped raise me, and you think you get to imply that I'm banging him? Frag you."

Optimus sighs, and yanks Afterburner closer so they both can pet Sari soothingly. He ignores the racecar's surprised look, instead pays attention to the jetbot's pleading. After the third iteration of not cursing the planet, he lets his optics wander along the crowd that has gathered, and is unsurprised at how horrified and worried all the bots are.

"I already said I wasn't gonna curse your stupid planet," she mutters. "But you're going to fragging apologize to Optimus and you're gonna hand over your best bottle of polish and repair solvent so he can fix the gouges you left in him."

The jetbot yanks out the solvent and polish instantly, right along with a cloth to clean. "Yes, priestess. Anything you sa-"

She waves him off. "I'm not the one you have to talk to. Get to it."

The mech stands up, looking very hesitant as he says, "I... apologize for my behavior," a quick glance at Sari then back, "Optimus Prime."

Optimus takes the polish and solvent from him — an entirely unnecessary demand, because he has his own supplies with him. "Apology accepted. We had a simple misunderstanding, and I'm sure it won't happen again. I understand that Autobots have not been entirely favorable in the way we have treated your planet and allies in the past, and I can promise we are working on rectifying that."

The jetbot just gives him a slightly terrified look, and takes off. The crowd around them disperses as well, and he's left staring at the bottles in his servos. Afterburner snorts, "You should have cursed him, Sari."

She sighs, "I was tempted, but it is sort of like with the mud splashing. You don't kill a bot for words or small insults."

"Temporary curse?" Afterburner asks, hopefully.

Sari taps her fingers against Optimus's armor. "Maybe. Give him an itchy spark for a week or something. Would that seem fair to you, Optimus?"

He sighs, and shakes his head, "He already left, and I don't think _any_ curses will help in the long run."

She moves over to Afterburner, letting the mech hold her, "He'll know why he has it, though. AllSpark is talking about how I shouldn't let that go unpunished."

"You told him you wouldn't be cursing him," he reminds her, leading them over to a booth with some sort of sharpshooting challenge. He'd always been more adept at close combat. "Unless you _want_ them to think you're going crazy, you probably shouldn't turn around and immediately curse him."

She glares down at the area the jet took off to. "Fine." She looks around, "What is your best game at festivals, Afterburner?"

The carbot blushes faintly. "I am actually very good at netting turbofish. I use the ones I win to put in the lobby pool. You liked my oldest one."

"The really big one with the old man whiskers?"

Afterburner shutters his optics. "The what?"

"Old man whiskers," she mimes them with her hands, and the racecarbot just stares at her. Sari huffs, "Like freakin' Alpha Trion has, okay?"

Afterburner huffs, muttering unhappily, "My turbofish isn't an Autobot."

She kisses the bot. "Alpha Trion is awesome, and I'd like your fish even if he _didn't_ have the totally awesome whiskers. He has a nice rainbow shimmer to him. Very pretty and wonderful."

"He is _very_ old and he has a highly developed personality processor," Afterburner nods at the bot in control of the booth. "The ... Optimus would like to attempt this game." He turns to Optimus, "The first attempt at any of these booth games is free — it costs credits after that." Kissing Sari's cheek, he adds, "But not for you. You can play for free the entire solar cycle, my Priestess."

Optimus looks at the game, tilting his head at all the moving targets. "I'm pretty sure Sari will do a lot better than me at this, but I can try if you want."

She looks at it. "Well, the Allspark let you have those guns. You can _try_ using them, you know. I may have let you keep your axe, but there's no reason why you can't attempt to shoot."

He picks up one of the booth guns. "I'm shamefully out of practice with these. I really should go down to the range more often. What is my goal for this game?"

The booth attendant gives him a neutral look, and waves a servo at the targets. "Knock at least four down to win a prize. The more you get, the better the prize. Hit all ten and you win a special ticket for our end of the solar cycle raffle."

He nods easily, and takes aim. He is highly unsurprised that he misses completely. He shakes his head in amusement, and keeps trying. By the last shot, he barely manages to hit the target. Setting the blaster down, he smiles and shakes his head, "I'm really quite terrible at these sort of things." He moves out of the way, "What about you, Afterburner? I bet you can blow my one target hit completely out of the water."

"Of course I can." The mech takes the gun and waits for the targets to reset. "Just watch and see how it's done." His first shot misses, but he knocks targets down with relative ease. "Seven of them. What would you like for a prize, Sari?"

She looks at the row of prizes for that number of targets. "Oh wow. Mirrors and polish bottles. And ... I'm not sure I want to know what that thing is." She rolls her optics, "I'll take one of the mirrors. Maybe I can wear it like a necklace."

The mirror is handed over, and the attendant smiles blandly, "Want to try your luck, Priestess?"

She shrugs, "May as well. I can't do much worse than Optimus, that's for sure."

She's handed the gun, and she shoots all ten targets in short order, making the attendant smile more genuinely. "Here's your ticket, Priestess. If you get another ten targets again, I can't give you another." He waves a servo behind him, "But you get your pick of any prize, as long as the points add up to twenty."

"Nah, it's not really fair to let me play for free if no one else gets to after the first try." Sari looks between the prizes and Afterburner. "I'd like that can of metallic orange flakes. I think they'd look pretty on you, Afterburner."

The carbot kisses Sari on her head as he's handed the flakes. "Would you like me to put them on now?"

She smiles. "You may need to get polished up first, but sure."

Optimus offers them the polish the jetbot had given him. "Use as much as you like." He had no use for it. Sari only pushes it back at him.

"Afterburner has nicer polish than that, and you really needed the upgrade, Optimus."

He sighs, and puts it back. "I don't need an upgrade. I like the stuff I use." Sari looks like she's about to scold him, only to break out into giggles as Afterburner pulls polish out of her subspace. Raising an optic ridge, Optimus can't help but smile, "I'm glad you're finally using your subspace for more than just candy and emergency supply storage, Sari."

"My wonderful, sweetheart boyfriend insisted," she complains, only to giggle again when the racecarbot pulls a cloth out of her subspace to apply the polish. "Turns out ... I'm ticklish there, when he does it."

"That isn't really unusual, Sari. Most bots just don't know because only a bot you're bonded to uses your subspace normally. There's a reason they thought you were dating Cyclonus when you used his."

Afterburner polishes himself quickly. "She has better taste than jetbots, apparently." He even smooths polish over his spoiler. "Not many come to be enlightened about how stunning speedster bots can be, but Sari appreciates our model type."

She sprinkles the flakes over him, watching them settle into the polish coat and stick. "Smug today, aren't you?"

The bot presses a kiss to her helmet. "Why wouldn't I be? I am bonded with the most beautiful and talented bot in the universe, and I get to show her off while she shows _me_ off."

She chuckles softly, "Let's head to the next booth. See what else there is."

They work their way through the booths, winning and losing, enjoying themselves. Optimus did embarrassingly bad at a memory challenge game — though he's half-certain the game was a cheat, because the cards should _not_ have moved that much. Sari aces every game based on aim, and Afterburner puts on an admirable show at _everything_ they try.

They end at the turbofish catching booth. Sari and the Prime look at the fish darting around quickly, and then to the tiny flimsy metal nets. Optimus frowns, "You can catch them with those things?"

Afterburner smirks, "This is my _best_ game. I can catch them every single time."

The booth attendant, a pretty blue femme with silver streaks, leans over the counter, "And that's why we have a strict limit on how many you're allowed to snatch away from us, Afterburner." She taps a sign with his picture on it and the number ten in a bright red circle.

Sari gives the femme a suspicious look, but turns to her consort. "I want to see how you do it before I try."

Afterburner grins at her, his pointed teeth glinting even brighter than in the picture. "Of course, my priestess."

He holds out a servo, and the booth femme reluctantly gives him a net as she mutters, "You're lucky we aren't allowed to sabotage you."

"You could give me a damaged net, and I'd still be able to catch these sweet little turbofish." He kneels down and studies the darting, sleek forms of the turbofish. "The problem is, of course, that as soon as a net touches the water, they feel the vibrations and panic." He dips the net in lightning quick and pulls out a tiny, silver turbofish that flops about, stunned. "These are the easiest ones to catch." It's dropped into a tiny holding container, where it zips around the small confines angrily. "This one is for you, Optimus."

Optimus takes it carefully, "Thank you, Afterburner. I just thought that you'd want to catch your bonded a fish first." He looks at it. "But I suppose you'd want Sari to have one that is the hardest to get, not waste your ten fish limit on me."

The femme leans over the booth again, "That one counts for his limit, since he caught it."

"Thank you very much, Moonracer," Afterburner scowls at her, before turning a bright smile at Sari. "Are there any ones you like best? I'll get those for you."

Sari looks at the fish, "You said you can get _any_ of them?"

He preens. "Of course I can. Any turbofish that you want, it is yours."

She points at the fastest largest one that darts around almost angrily. "Even the ones that are clearly only meant to draw customers in?"

"Fraggin' Afterburner ends up getting our best ones _every time we host this festival_," Moonracer grumbles, handing him a new net. "Here, use this one. It's defective."

Afterburner takes it from her, and the handle does appear to be in danger of breaking apart. "I appreciate the added challenge."

Sari watches happily as Afterburner twists his servo quickly and catches the one she pointed to instantly. It goes into another small container, this one a tiny bit larger than the one Optimus's fish went in to. Sari pets it softly on the fins, smiling when it snaps at her angrily. "I like him."

"You know, we're gonna stop putting the rare ones out until _after_ you show up," Moonracer mutters, handing him containers as he slowly depletes the tank of its most attractive and valuable turbofish. "Leave you a bunch of cheap silvers and golds to deal with."

Afterburner smirks at Moonracer. "Well, you won't have to deal with me soon enough. I'm leaving the planet as soon as the festival is over." He flashes his consort marked servo under her nose. "I'm sure you heard tell why."

"Yeah, and I'm sure you'll never come and visit to rob us all of our best bred Turbofish," she scoffs. "Even if you had to sneak away to do it."

Sari gives the femme a dirty look, "Afterburner will _never_ have to sneak away just to catch _fish_." She tugs the carbot into a kiss, "He likes them, so I'm never going to keep him away from them." She's picked up and nuzzled. "It may not have been on purpose, but I want him _happy_."

Afterburner smirks. "See, Moonracer? Sari _likes_ me. I'm her _first consort_."

Moonracer shutters her optics. "Really? I mean, no offense, Priestess, but you pick _Afterburner_ as your first consort? Was high-grade involved in this decision?"

Sari gives the femme a dark look. "I'm sure you can figure out why it happened easily enough. _You_ may find him unbearably smug, but I adore him."

Afterburner kisses Sari on the top of the head as Optimus sighs and explains, "He caught her before she could hit the ground when she was stopping the AllSpark from possessing her and breaking a bond. There was absolutely no high-grade involved."

"And you ended up with Afterburner as your consort." Moonracer shakes her head. "Good luck with him. You'll need it, especially when you see the kind of expensive transport he's going to want for his precious turbofish."

Sari nuzzles Afterburner's faceplate. "Can't be any more expensive than what I'm already using. And they will look wonderful in the pond he wants to put in the backyard." She sighs, "I hope we can keep all the damn ninjabots from meditating near it, though. Bad enough they sneak in to rearrange the crystal garden."

Afterburner perks up at that, "So these ninjabots visit frequently? What model types are they?"

She smacks his shoulder, "Don't even think about it, bot."

Optimus clears his throat, "Could I have a net? I want to see how badly I humiliate myself on this."

Moonracer smiles and hands him one, "Of course. It really isn't as easy as Afterburner makes it look, though. The turbofish like to break the metal of the nets."

He kneels down and watches the fish dart in the water — they're faster than he was expecting, and as soon as he dips his net in the water, trying to corral a fish towards the edge of the tank, a swarm of them descend on the net and leap through it, tearing the mesh to shreds.

He laughs in delight. "They certainly are vicious about it, aren't they?"

Moonracer smirks, "They like breaking the nets, and we really have put in the angrier ones in for festivals near here. Because if we have _nicer_ ones, Afterburner got them even easier."

Optimus grins, "Well, I have one, anyway." He runs his fingers along the container holding the fish he was given before turning to Sari. "Are you going to try?"

"Sure," she takes the net Moonracer offers her, and dips it in the water near a gold turbofish. They swarm to her servo — and nip at her fingertips, ignoring the net entirely.

Moonracer blinks. "Never seen them do that before."

Sari smiles. "I think they like me." She puts the net to the side. "It wouldn't really be fair if I tried catching them," she murmurs before dipping both servos in the water to pull out a single turbofish cupped in them. It swims around irritably before jumping out and landing back in the water. "See?"

A loudly revving engine draws Optimus's attention. Afterburner's optics are dim with unconcealed lust, and he pulls Sari up to kiss her. "You have to let me see if you can get my turbofish reacting to you like that."

She kisses him back, running fingers along his headfins before pulling away. "Not really a big deal. Your large one eats out of your fingers."

"He's over a million stellar cycles old, Sari. And I'd been feeding him like that since he was that size," the racecar points out the turbofish he gave Optimus. "You saw how he hates everyone else."

"He liked me," Sari says. "Only splashed me once, instead of the four or five times he did to anyone else who came near that pool."

"Well, he outright _attacks_ Acidstorm." There's a thoughtful pause. "Which is why the seeker despises him, really."

Sari smiles, "Well, he'll have fun in the pond you make for him. I'm sure of it."

Afterburner frowns, "He's _old_, Sari. I don't know if he'll survive the trip."

"I'll make sure he makes it to our new home, Afterburner. I promise." She kisses his cheek. "AllSpark powered bot, remember? If I can't abuse my powers to keep a fish alive, what good are they?"

The racecar cuddles her close. "Even if you can't, it's fine."

She kisses him again, "AllSpark says I _can_. Don't worry about it, okay?"

Optimus finds it disturbing how close they are, after knowing each other a grand total of one solar cycle. Even with a bond, it seems unlikely for them to have built such a strong rapport out of nothing. He hopes it doesn't crumble around them. He wants Sari happy.

Moonracer leans close to him, whispering softly in his audios, "Is... is the priestess always like this?"

He shakes his head, "She was doing a lot worse on Cybertron. She's getting back to her normal cheerful self now, though."

"She's very ... well, she's not what any of us were expecting from a priestess. And if Afterburner is her first consort," Moonracer leans back, "I'm surprised she's still sane at all." At Optimus's curious look, she continues, "The priestesses were always worse when they didn't have bots to ... share that energy with."

He leans against the booth, watching as Sari and Afterburner nuzzle each other and chatter about what they're going to do with the turbofish. "I think it helps that the AllSpark is her mother, really. She can handle the energy since she's always had it running through her. Her willpower is nothing to scoff at, either."

"Her mother is-"

"Yes. The AllSpark created her protoform, and then took DNA — which is rather like our own can — from her father and created Sari from it." He smiles, remembering Sari when she had first met them. "She upgraded herself a while after we knew her, with an AllSpark powered key."

The femme blinks in surprise. "I... I never would have guessed that."

He smiles. "It is a little hard to believe, but it _is_ true." He straightens up. "Excuse us. I want to return to my hotel room soon, to call my betrothed."

"Ultra Magnus?" she asks, mouth making a little moue of disgust at having to say the name. "Have you really not," she glances at his sparkplates, "you know? With him?"

Optimus feels his faceplates flush. "That's a very inappropriate question to ask."

She grins at him. "That answers that. He must have a lot of willpower, then." She pats him cautiously on the shoulder. "You're very pretty."

Taking a step back, he nods cordially. "Thank you for the compliment. Ultra _is_ a very strong-willed individual. We have been assured a bonding and a family if we complete the courtship in the traditional way, so we both have a vested interest in succeeding."

Her optics brighten, "You _know_ you're getting sparklings?" She leans forward, "Do you know how many specifically?"

Optimus relaxes a bit, and smiles as he answers, "Ultra will be carrying twin femmes, and I'll be carrying a mech for certain. Sari tells me they will be the most blessed sparklings possible."

She grins with him, "That's wonderful! Are you carrying at the same time?" He nods, and she gasps, "That's amazing!"

He ducks his head, "We're looking forward to it. We both love sparklings." Optimus rubs the back of his head. "I'm not sure I'll be the best caretaker, but I intend to do everything in my power to be a good parent."

She beams at him, "The main thing is that you _care_ about how you're raising them. Sparklings know when you don't really care, and don't do as well then. You'll be fine as long as you pay attention. Besides," she glances over at Sari, "you've got the Priestess to help, right? Nothing _too_ bad can come of it."

"Thank you." Optimus wishes he wasn't so prone to blushing up like an embarrassed academy cadet. "Perhaps we could come back for a visit some time after we have them. I'm sure they would love to see the turbofish like this."

She giggles, hiding her mouth behind her servo, "As long as you don't bring Afterburner. We won't have the sign up when you do it, and he could just clear us out."

"I can't make any promises about that," Optimus smiles back at her, "but I _can_ promise to let you know when we're coming, to give you time to make up a new sign." Sari is dipping her hands into the water again, playing with the turbofish. "Perhaps include Sari's image on it, with a limit for her as well."

Moonracer rests her head on her servos, elbows on the edge of the counter, "That'd be good. We'll need an up to date picture of them if you do." She smiles, "The festival is going to be ending for the solar cycle soon, you may want to tell the loverbots that so you can call your Magnus."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for the fish," he lifts the little container up. "Perhaps I'll catch one myself next time." She just shakes her head and he raises his voice, "Sari, the festival will be ending soon. We should go over and see if you'll win the raffle."

She blinks at him, "Oh... yeah. Raffle." She straightens up, "Sounds like fun." She leans against Afterburner, "Let's see if they cheat so I win. I hope not."

The carbot smirks. "We'll see, won't we?"

They begin walking away, and an angry whir and splash sound behind them. Optimus turns to find one of the turbofish thrashing on the ground, making disgruntled little noises.

Moonracer covers her face with one servo. "Slag. That's never happened either. Looks like the thing wants to go with you, Priestess." She tosses them a container. "Put some water in it and take him." The fish is soon content and bashing himself against the edges of the container in Sari's servos.

The raffle is being held in the center of the booths and activities, and there seem to be fewer hostile glares aimed at him now. A few megacycles of not being a horrible excuse for a sentient being appears to have won some of the bots over to his side.

A dapper bot stands up on a raised platform, smiling brightly at everyone, "Ladies and gentlebots! It is time to bring a close to the day's festivities. Does everyone have their ticket?" There's a soft and amused murmur from the bots around them. "Okay, we know how this goes. Random number generator, and come up if you won!"

"Ooh, I'm gonna be really surprised if I win," Sari mutters, and studies her ticket. Optimus glances at the number. 257.

The bot on stage waves at a collection of —Optimus's intakes hitch— interfacing toys and accessories. "Our first prize winner will receive this fabulous assortment from our _best_ shops."

The generator flips through a several numbers before settling on 257. Sari rolls her optics, and flicks her fingers on the ticket. Afterburner sighs sadly at that, since it now reads 527. The carbot whispers something in her audio, and Optimus is glad he can't hear it, since Sari gives the mech a dirty look.

Some jetbot wins, and the crowd cheers for him, even though the bots running the raffle look rather confused. Sari prods Afterburner, raising her voice a bit, "-if you want me to use things like that, we'll pick them out _together_. Later."

The raffle goes through three more items before ending, and they head out. Sari ignores the slightly terrified looks from the bots who ran it, and instead focuses on Afterburner. Optimus barely pays attention to them, choosing to look at the turbofish the carbot gave him as what could only be an insult. Studying it, he decides to cherish it and take the best care of it possible. If only to annoy Afterburner.

If Ultra doesn't have a place to keep it, he'll need to convince his intended to let him buy or build one. Optimus flushes, thinking of how he could easily get Ultra to give into his demands.

He reaches in to the container, petting the irritable turbofish on the fin. It snaps at him, and he smiles. He's not sure what he'll be naming it, but it will be something to show how angry the thing is.

Developing a relationship with a pet is important — so Optimus intends to stop by a shop the next solar cycle and pick up a larger tank for his fish. Otherwise, it would end up being placed in a spare energon cube, and he's not comfortable with that.

They make it to the egde of the festival grounds, and he transforms so Sari can climb in. All the fish are set in the seat next to her, since it isn't safe to transport them in subspace. He turns to Afterburner and asks, "How do you normally take them back with you?"

The racecar grins, "There's a trailer I have, and I go slow."

"I bet it's a really cute trailer," Sari says, looking out the windows at her mech. "You'll have to show it to me. Maybe _I_ could ride in it?"

Afterburner revs, optics dim. "Maybe." The bot glances at Optimus, "But not today; we should head back now." The mech transforms and leads the way back to the hotel, comming Sari so they can all talk, "Did you come up with a name for that fish that decided he was yours, Sari?"

"Mr. Bitey Flopsalot," she declared proudly, lifting the container with her fish to gaze into his optics. "I think it suits him."

Optimus chuckles, "It certainly does."

The racecar looks slightly confused. "All turbofish are like that, though."

She taps the container, making the fish snap at her fingers, "All the more reason it suits him, then."

The other fish bash themselves against their containers until Sari acknowledges them all with little taps. Optimus is terribly amused by it. "They like you. But you'll have to pick ninjabot volunteers to care for them when you're away from your home on Cybertron."

She makes funny faces at the fish as she talks, "I'm sure I'll have no end of bots wanting to. I've never seen any ponds in the other yards."

"I do not believe any bot has a pond full of turbofish." Optimus considers it, trying to recall any bots interested in exotic animals. "Alpha Trion might. I have never been to his home."

She shrugs. "Possible." She taps one of the containers, "This guy already is getting whiskers." She looks out the window to Afterburner, "How old do they have to be to get whiskers?"

"It depends on the breed. Most begin growing whiskers around a hundred thousand stellar cycles, but a few breeds start early — as little as ten thousand. There's one species that never develops a set. I have several of them, but they're largely considered less desirable because of it."

She picks up one of them, "I don't mind if they don't have whiskers. They're still adorable no matter what."

The turbofish seem to take insult at this, and bash themselves harder against the containers, whirring their tiny motors in rage. Sari reaches in and tickles one. It tries to bite her, but immediately flips upside down so she can rub its belly.

Optimus chuckles softly, "If they act like this around you, I think we should find out how turbofoxes react. They're very skittish and temperamental, after all."

Sari goes through each container one by one to pet the fish, "I don't see why not. We can go visit a planet with them at some point."

"Perhaps a Decepticon planet?" Afterburner suggests hopefully, revving his engine at Sari. "We would be able to do all the ... shopping that you said we could. They are best stocked for bots my size."

She taps Optimus's window thoughtfully before returning her attention to the fish, "We'll see."

Afterburner sighs softly, "What planet did you have mind next then?"

"I'll send you the file." Sari stretches out on Optimus's seat. "Got a couple choices. Think it may not be a good idea to hit Velocitron anytime soon, though."

The racecar chuckles, "Too much temptation too early on."

She sighs, "And from what the AllSpark tells me, only time will calm it down. And I _know_ Priestesses have been killed because they imprinted on their first consort, and claimed an entire planet."

Optimus twitches at the thought of Sari with an entire planet marked as her partners. It was ... obscene. "I do hope you let us get to know your next consort before you claim them, Sari."

She snorts and taps at the fish. "I don't plan on claiming more any time soon, Optimus. If I do, I'm pretty sure it will be because I know them."

"Or because they're very pretty." Afterburner chimes in unhelpfully.

Sari snorts, "Not going to pick a bot just because they've got a glossy paint-coat or a curvy waist." Sari never was one to focus on beauty alone — even in her Earth companions, she rarely took one home for a round of human interfacing if all they had to offer was … whatever it was that made humans attractive to one another.

The racecar spins his wheels. "But if they have that in addition to other things?"

She sighs, and waves a servo dismissively. "We'll see."

"What if they have _wings_," Afterburner hums out the word with a heavy growl of engine. "Wings are fragging _hot_."

Optimus disagrees. "They are only attractive on _some_ bots. I merely looked ridiculous when I had a pair."

Sari scoffs, "Says the _pretty prime_. You had the seekers panting after you before they joined up with us. The wings were certainly part of it."

"The seekers were panting after _him_?" the racecar bot asks. "No. You must have him mistaken for some other bot. Perhaps that other racecar. Blurr."

Sari stills for a moment then shakes her head, she looks at her chest, as if her spark betrayed her, then says, "Blurr's nickname was _never_ 'pretty prime.' Optimus here," she pats his dashboard, "had that honor."

He can feel his plating flush up, "It was a joke. Had there been genuine interest in me, they wouldn't have gone after other bots for their lovers. Even Starscream only displayed ... interest in me to upset Megatron."

Sari sighs, "Starscream would have banged you through the berth if you hadn't been so clearly messed up." She pats his dashboard, "And, hey! Prowl yanked off his head. We all won."

He splutters, "Sari!"

She arches an optic ridge at him, "Yeah, Optimus? Do you really want me to say more? I could go on about how the Seekers have footage of you with your wings, and what they _told me_ they do with that footage."

He almost drives off the road out of embarrassment. "Sari!"

She crosses her arms smugly. "That's what I _thought_."

Afterburner scrapes against his side with a growl, "Keep your optics on the road, Prime. You're endangering _my_ Priestess."

Sari sits up. "Be polite, Afterburner. I'm perfectly safe, and you know it."

The racecar mutters something that could be an apology, and Optimus sighs before saying, "It's fine, Sari. He's just worried about you." Even though it is clearly not just worry.

He does drive more carefully on the way back to the hotel, managing to avoid swerving, even when Sari starts to tease him again.

"Do you think Ultra would like metal flake on your frame?" She shoves a tin of blue and red flakes into his subspace. "Just don't rub it on your sparkplates." She pauses, "Much."

He is glad that blushing isn't visible in vehicle mode. "So I'm allowed to polish myself when I com him now?"

She pets one of the fish, "You were before, just not like a seeker. You _still_ can't polish yourself like a seeker."

"But seekers have the _best_ polishing techniques," Afterburner hums, and Sari's engine starts to rumble ominously. "Such _clever_ claws. A good polish always ends with a -"

"It will _not_ end in such a way for you any longer," Sari promises, optics glowing blue.

The racecar edges a bit closer, voice hopeful. "Not even if I do it to _you_, my priestess?"

Optimus moves away, and Sari giggles, "No talking about this sort of thing around Optimus."

The other bot sulks the rest of the way to the hotel. Sari leaps onto him the klik they reach the building and transform. "You were very good at the games today." She nuzzles his chest. "I think we should get you refueled."

Afterburner's engine purrs happily, and the racecar murmurs, "I think that's a _wonderful_ plan."

Optimus clears his throat. "As much as I hate interrupting you two, you have ten fish you need to take care of before doing anything else." He gently places the containers in the carbot's arms, keeping the one he was given for himself.

Balancing fish and Sari, Afterburner gives Optimus a scalding look. "Of course. Enjoy your turbofish. If you treat it properly, it will live a very long life." He clearly doesn't believe Optimus is capable of keeping the fish alive for more than a decacycle. As if Optimus was some pretty dim-witted berthbot incapable of remembering more than his daily polishing tasks.

"Thank you. I will." He nods, almost curtly, to the carbot, before smiling at Sari warmly, and heads back to his room. When he gets there, he sets the turbofish to the side, and coms Ultra. His mech answers instantly, and he smiles brightly.

"Optimus," Ultra's tone is warm and loving, "I hope you had a better day than I did. The diplomatic delegates were... frustrating."

The turbofish flits around angrily when Optimus displays it for Ultra. "I obtained a new pet." He sets the fish down and leans towards the camera. "Would you like to tell me what the delegates did to upset you? Or were they simply as long-winded as usual?"

Ultra leans on one of his servos, relaxed in the chair. "Just the normal nonsense from them. Nothing terribly important. Only them thinking it is." His mech smiles, "But a turbofish? How did that happen?"

Optimus dips his fingers in the water, withdrawing them when the turbofish _bites_ him. That was not the kind of friendly nibbles they gave Sari. "Afterburner is very skilled at a festival game where you catch turbofish with metal mesh nets."

"So you didn't catch it yourself?"

He shakes his head. "They tore right through the net when I tried. They're rather vicious things."

After considering the fish for a moment, Ultra smiles. "I'll have a pond created for it before you return. Do you think it would like that?"

Optimus draws his fingers along the edge of the container, letting the fish try to attack him. "I think it will love it. It seems more irritable in the smaller area."

"Mm." After making that noncommittal noise, Ultra glances down at Optimus's chest. "Before we were interrupted this morning, I was going to ask you to play with your sparkplates for me." Optimus's engine revs helplessly, and Ultra continues, "I suppose it's good that the Council delegates were so pushy."

He sets the turbofish down, leaning forward slightly, "It _is_ good they were. Sari did remind me I'm supposed to keep my servos off of them in front of you."

Ultra gives him a sad look. "Well, it is something to look forward to, at least."

"When our courtship finishes, I will make sure to play with them for you," Optimus promises, optics dim. "We could make it a test. See how long you can keep your servos to yourself."

Ultra's optics flicker. "I don't imagine I'd be very _good_ at this test. Not when it is such a tempting thing to touch."

He leans back, letting Ultra get a good look at his plates. "You'll have lots of practice by that point," he points out. "We will have the time spent in the same house together, followed by in the same berth."

Ultra smiles, the expression more filthy and lecherous than Optimus ever imagined Ultra was capable of. "I hope we can share a berth ... soon."

Optimus settles back into a more comfortable sitting position, looking away to hide his blushing. "Maybe Sari will move up our schedule if we behave."

His mech sighs, "Maybe. But she doesn't seem to want to do that."

How he'd love to tell Ultra that Sari already _had_ moved it up. But he can't. Instead, he kisses his fingertips and presses them against the screen. "I miss you."

Ultra's optics light up. "I miss you, too. I look forward to when your vacation is over, and I can hold you in my arms," his optics dim, " and kiss you all over."

"Even my headfins?" Optimus asks, tilting his head to display them better. "Will you kiss them too?"

The blue bot leans in, voice husky with want. "I intend to do far more than kiss those."

He moves slightly in his seat, letting the light catch his helmet a little better, "Something to certainly look forward to, then."

Ultra's engine revs, and Optimus ducks his head to hide his grin. He has grown to _love_ making his intended react that way. It has been such a long courtship, and Optimus knows precisely what to do to make Ultra look at him like he's the last energon candy at a buffet, and Ultra had been kept away from the bar by talkative councilmechs. "Sari gave me a jar of metal flakes to use," he says casually, as if he has no idea that the idea of him glittering with the flakes, rubbing them on his own frame, is particuarly enticing to his beloved.

Ultra's optics shutter, engine a happy purr in the background, "Are you going to show it off to me? Or are you planning on just teasing me with the idea that you have it?"

He dips his finger in the water with the turbofish, moving it out before he can get bitten. "Well, I could show you in the morning. Let you have something to think about through the day."

Ultra's servos clench on his seat. "I ... would like that very much." His optics glow with lust. "You should have your sparkplates polished before you com me. I want to see them shining. Sparkling with the flakes."

Optimus smiles, ducking his head to hide it. "If that's what you want, Ultra."

His mech licks his lips hungrily. "I look forward to it, Optimus."

He presses a kiss to his fingertips, and puts them on the screen. "That's what I'll do then. I love you."

"I love you too." Ultra returns the finger-kiss. "Recharge well tonight. Think of me before you offline."

Optimus dims his optics. "I can promise that very easily."

Ultra cuts the com, and he gets up to take a cube of energon from the dispenser. Drinking it slowly, he looks through the database for what turbofish eat. Afterburner may think he's going to kill the thing, but he'll show him. He'll take care of the fish so well, it will never fragging die. Ever. Even if he has to get Sari to bless it so it stays alive.

Settling into the only chair the room has to offer him — he's already missing the amazing current-chair back on the ship — Optimus reads the files he's downloaded onto his datapad. A bit of reading, a bit of sparkplay, and then a nice, long recharge cycle. This was the sort of vacation he could appreciate.

* * *

He onlines earlier than he has been so he can polish his plates. Setting the colored metal flakes to the side when he finishes that, he looks around the room quickly to make sure it is clean before dialing in Ultra's frequency. He returns to the berth and poses so his sparkplates catch the light just before Ultra answers.

"Did you recharge well, Ultra?" he asks, tracing a finger down his chest, deftly avoiding his sensitive sparkplates. "I did."

Ultra revs helplessly. "I did as well, Optimus. Did you think of me?"

He spreads a little polish on a cloth, and starts to work it on his arms. "Of course I did. How could I not? Why don't you polish yourself while we talk," Optimus suggests, rubbing the cloth over his seams to get the polish into them. He's using the new bottle, and he has to admit, it's giving him a much smoother coating than the brands he'd used previously.

Ultra's optics are dim, "Normally I'd reply that I'm just going to work, but I can't say no to such a request from _you_, Optimus." His intended reaches into his subspace, and pulls out a cloth and polish. "Especially not since you're polishing up for me."

"I appreciate that." Optimus has a hard time keeping his optics off of his intended, but he somehow manages it for long enough to grab his metal flakes and begin sprinkling them on himself, before the polish coat has a chance to fully dry. "This is the first time I've ever used something like this."

A quiet rev and confirmation from Ultra proves he is doing a successful job of it. "Keep going. It looks fantastic."

He licks his finger, and makes a face, "These flakes are not edible. I'll keep that in mind if I use them later on for you."

Ultra actually _whines_ at that, and he rubs his sparkplates once, before moving his servos back to safe territory. "You ... shouldn't say things like that, Optimus."

He starts to work on his torso. "I am merely stating that, should I wear it later, I'll need to remind you not to lick me. Since you have a hard time not doing just that."

Ultra's venting grows ragged, and he finishes his polish coat quickly, before leaning towards the screen to watch Optimus. "I would prefer having you in my arms _now_, Optimus, so I could silence that teasing mouth of yours with my glossa."

He sprinkles more of the flakes on his polish, and comments idly, "I'm really much too far away for that to happen, Ultra. Sari still has to visit a ninjabot planet, and I'm sure she has several more planned." He tilts his head thoughtfully, "Granted, she's going to cancel any racing planets, since she doesn't want to accidentally mark more consorts."

"You were never one for races," Ultra watches him with intense optics. "One of the few cadets who didn't engage in the illegal street racing that occurred on the academy grounds."

He hums absently, "I'm a truckbot. Not really made for speed, even if I'm faster than some. Besides," he begins on his upper legs, "it _is_ illegal. I'm not the type to do such a thing." He is careful with his joints. "You should really do more with your polish, Ultra. Such a quick one isn't as good as the leader of the Autobots should have."

"Perhaps another solar cycle. If I put my servos on myself now, I will end up doing something that is _not_ allowed in our courtship."

Optimus chuckles softly, "Of course, Ultra. Maybe when _I'm_ not polishing my frame, then?"

Ultra's engine whines, "That may be a better idea, yes.".

"It's going to be a long solar cycle without you here," Optimus touches the screen. "I will expect a call from you this evening, before I take my recharge."

His intended nods, "Of course, Optimus." Fingers press to the screen in return, "I. love you."

He smiles, murmuring "I love you, too," before turning off the com. He finishes polishing himself quickly, sprinkling the metal flakes over himself as he finishes, and stands up. Looking at the turbofish, he says to it, "I need to name you."

The fish does not reply.

Sari would name it something ridiculous, like McCrankersons, or Bitey Fastfins. Optimus wants to imbue his turbofish with a bit more ... dignity than that.

Tapping it gently, and ignoring as it attacks his fingers, he hums thoughtfully. ... He really doesn't know. He leans on the table he put the fish on, and pulls up a random number generator. Assigning a list of various words, he gets ... "Aquafire." He looks at the irritable fish, and shrugs, "I need to get you food, Aquafire. Let's go get you turbofish food."

Like slag is he going to Afterburner to obtain proper food for his pet. He'll go to a specialty store — he knows they have them here — and get the supplies on his own. Perhaps that femme, Moonracer, owns a shop. She seemed to be rather proprietary of the turbofish. Even if she doesn't sell supplies, she should be able to point him to someone who does.

He looks at Aquafire, and the fish seems to glare at him. Shrugging, he picks the fish up; he'll bring it with, since he needs to buy a tank for it anyway. May as well see what it looks best in.

He makes it to the lobby when hes suddenly stopped by claws on his shoulder and a high pitched voice _scolding_ him, "No. No. _No_. You are _so_ lucky I'm here. Let's get you fixed up before anyone can see you looking that terrible."

Optimus barely has time to shutter his optics in surprise before he's dragged out of the lobby and into a private room. An office, where he's shoved down and scolded _again_. "Who let you out of your room looking so tacky? Did no bot ever teach you how to pretty yourself up properly? I'm ashamed of the seekers who had you before."

Optimus gives Acidstorm a confused look, "... what?"

The seeker gives him a despondent sigh, puts Aquafire on a table, and pulls out a cloth that is used to start cleaning him. "You look _horrible_ when you use so much metal flake. You need to use it only as a highlight."

"I've never used it before." Optimus pushes the intruding servos away from him. "I look fine. Ultra enjoyed the way it looked, and I don't need you touching me like this."

Acidstorm shoves him down into a seat. "Calm yourself. Let a professional handle this, Optimus."

He makes a face as he's cleaned off. "I need to get food for my turbofish."

"I'll get you some from Afterburner's personal store of it," comes the reply. The seeker's servos avoid every sensitive part of him as he's being cleaned. "You most likely need a tank for it, right?"

"I do, unless you think he'd be happy living in an energon cube." Optimus still hates having seeker claws touch him, even when they maintain a safe distance from the parts that make his spark sink. "I would feel better purchasing a tank for him, rather than taking one from Afterburner."

The seeker scoffs, "As if he'd keep something as small as a tank around for his precious, obnoxious little darlings."

Optimus gives Aquafire a dark look, "Only the best for the turbofish, then?"

Acidstorm drops a polish soaked cloth in his servos. "Polish yourself, you know how. And, yes, he only puts the things in ponds."

A sweet aroma drifts up from the cloth, and Optimus brings one servo to his mouth so he can lick a finger. He narrows his optics. "Sweet polish. I don't need to use an edible polish this solar cycle."

"It provides a better sheen and gloss," the seeker insists, refusing to take the cloth back. "Use it."

Giving the mech an irritated look, he puts it on. It is easier to just do it, then to argue with a _seeker_. "If I get licked because of this, I'm going to tell Sari it is _your_ fault."

Acidstorm snorts, "Get licked much, Prime?"

Optimus smiles sweetly, "Would you like me to leave _now_? I'll be sure to let everyone know this half-finished polish coat is what you told me to do."

He gasps, "You wouldn't!"

Optimus stands up. "Wouldn't I?"

He starts to put the cloth on the table, only to get pushed back in the chair, and polished roughly, "You are absolutely terrible. No wonder the seekers you're with like you so much."

"That and the collection of their wings that I keep on my walls," he murmurs, and the Seeker's engine revs loudly, vents blowing hot air against his frame.

Acidstorm's claws twitch close to his sparkplates only to stop just before touching, "_Frag_." He's let go, "You... You... f_rag_." The seeker pinches the bridge of his nose, offlining his optics for a nanoklik. "You are _so lucky_ that I know better than to try to get you to open up."

Had those claws actually touched him, Optimus would have taken his axe to Acidstorm's wings and gained a new pair for his collection. "You are a fool if you think I would open up for _you_." He sits up, and Acidstorm pushes him back down.

"No. I am not finished with you yet."

He glares up at the mech. "Yes, you are."

The bot pulls out a jar of metal flakes, "No, I'm not. You need to learn the _proper_ way to use this. You want to look good for your," there's a pause of what can only be the seeker searching a database, "... your Ultra. Right?"

"Yes." Optimus can place names and faces for nearly all the diplomats and delegates of every Autobot, Decepticon, and Neutral world now, and it seems negligent that a seeker would not know the name of Ultra Magnus. Or perhaps he did, and was playing with Optimus. Seekers did that as well.

"Good." The lid of the jar is unscrewed, "You were using _far_ too much. You only need a tiny amount. Like so," the tip of the seeker's claws go into the flakes, and then drag slightly along his frame, highlighting his arms, legs, and the brim of his helmet. "You _may_ want to put a tiny bit on your plates and headfins, but not just for walking around."

Optimus dips his fingers into the flakes and rubs a bit along the top edge of each headfin. "Thank you for the suggestions. But I don't see any significant improvement over the way I had it before."

"Trust me. You'll notice the difference in how bots react to you."

He frowns, but nods. "Fine." Standing up, he reaches for Aquafire. "But now I need to go get a tank and food."

Acidstorm rolls his optics. "I told you I'll give you food for your turbofish. I'll also help you to the shop that will sell you a tank, and make sure they don't overcharge you for it."

Having a seeker at his side is disturbingly familiar by this point in his life. Even if that seeker is one of the few who did _not_ end up with Decepticon brands on his wings. Still ... "Have you ever met Megatron?"

The seeker shutters his optics coyly, "Meet? That is perhaps too ... polite a word for what happened."

Optimus rubs his optics with the fingertips of one servo. "Is there a seeker Megatron _hasn't_ 'faced?" A pause, "Aside from the clones, of course." He waves a servo dismissively at Acidstorm's disbelieving look, "Starscream was _way_ too possessive and protective to let them in Megatron's berth."

"So their first interface really _was_ their little Autobot lovers?" Acidstorm shakes his head, clucking his glossa, "Oh, Starscream. What a disappointment. It's traditional for a seeker to initiate seekers in interfacing. I'll be putting a negative note on Starscream's file."

Optimus gives a confused look to Acidstorm, "Starcream and his clones _hate_ each other. They weren't going to 'face." He taps Aquafire, and ignores the snapping at his fingers as he comments, "The clones can only stand to be near each other now because of their lovers and the fact that they have sparklings."

The seeker makes a soft sound, "I admit that I am rather jealous of all the time you get to spend with so many little sparklings. We only have a few on our entire _planet_ at the moment."

He plays with Aquafire's fins. "Sari blessed all those bonded bots. There's going to be explosion of sparklings. Even if you don't count all the ones she granted sparklings to randomly in the festival yesterday. If you asked, she'd bless _you_. Most likely not even give you a time limit."

Oddly enough, the seeker rubs his sparkplates. "Sari is not fond of me. I doubt she'd offer me _any_ sparklings." His optics dim, "And she took the bot I was most likely to _have_ sparklings with."

Optimus pats Acidstorm awkwardly on the leg, "I could ask her for you. And she didn't _mean_ to take Afterburner from you. If she had known that would happen, she'd have told him to let her drop to the floor."

"Oh, I'm sure Afterburner doesn't mind it now — he makes the sweetest little noises when he's pushed around properly, and a femme like that knows how to do it." Acidstorm shoos him out of the hotel. "You needn't make that request on my behalf. Afterburner and I knew each other for ages — but we weren't in love by any means."

Optimus nods uncertainly. "If you say so."

He's dragged after the seeker as the mech walks along the street, "I do. Now, let's get you to the turbofish supply shop."

"Does Moonracer have a shop?" he asks, barely keeping up with the larger bot.

"You've already met Moonracer?" Acidstorm glances at the turbofish he's holding, "Yes, I suppose that makes sense. Afterburner wouldn't visit any other turbofish merchant's game booth."

He keeps the fish stable in the tiny container, "The other booths all looked like their fish were _sick_."

Acidstorm smirks, "Of course they did. They _are_ sick. They weren't going to put out _good_ fish for a prize."

"Why would Moonracer-"

"Put out decent stock? Simple." Acidstorm guides him into a large shop that has enormous pools full of glittering turbofish in front of it. He smiles at Moonracer, who is leaning casually against the credit register. "She's a cheating glitch."

* * *

**Please review**

My notes are on the top, I'm not writing more because fanfiction dot net thought it would be funny to sign me out.


	10. Chapter 10

Last chapter I'm updating right now.

I was looking over the next story I'm going to post tomorrow, and it is like, 20k words. So short. Bluh. I'll see if I break it into chapters or just post it as is.

Disclaimer: Transformers is Hasbro's

* * *

The femme crosses her arms over her chest, "You know you're not welcome here, Acidstorm. Not after you _accidentally_ dumped that giant feedbag into one of the fingerling tanks."

The seeker looks like he's about to say something, but Optimus walks forward to talk to her, since _anything_ a seeker says in response to that can't be good. Smiling at her, Optimus puts Aquafire on the counter. "Do you have a tank I can get for it? You didn't sell any at the festival."

She smiles at him. "It's good you didn't pull him out of your subspace, or I'd have to yell at you for it. But, yes, I can sell you a tank."

"I'm afraid I won't be able to get a large enough one for now." Optimus pets Aquafire, deftly avoiding his sharp dente. "It will need to fit in my room on the ship. Will Aquafire be alright in a smaller tank for a few decacycles?"

She leans down on the counter, prodding the fish, "You named him Aquafire? That's adorable." She looks up, "Yeah, he'll be fine. In fact, if you want him to match his name, it would be better if he's in an even _smaller_ container until you get back to Cybertron. They don't get hurt if kept in something this size as long as they're left out of subspace."

As pretty as the fish might become if kept confined, Optimus wouldn't feel right trapping the poor thing in inadequate space. "I would rather he get a tank."

She smiles at him. "You're a sweet mech."

He rubs the back of his helmet bashfully, "Thanks?" He pets Aquafire absently. "But what tank would you suggest? Ultra already said there would be a pond for him when we return."

She grins, "Well, you want one that will stay in your room until you return, so you -" She stops abruptly and frowns before throwing a rock from behind the counterin front of Optimus, "And cut that out, you fragger!"

Optimus turns and finds Acidstorm rubbing his helmet with a pout on his lips. "Was he making faces at you?" Seekers were so juvenile sometimes.

She sighs and nods, "Rude fragger."

Optimus pats her on the arm, "I have to deal with _five_ of them. They're a bit like overgrown sparklings, aren't they?"

"Only nowhere near as cute." Moonracer leans back, tossing a rock up and catching it. "Make those faces again, and this one's going right into one of your exhaust vents."

"I'm wounded that you would _lie_ so blatantly about me to our guest, Moon darling."

Moonracer returns to him, "As I was saying, the tank you'll want is going to be one o-" she throws the rock, and there's a loud clang.

Optimus looks over his shoulder at the cursing seeker. "Do go on, I'm listening."

"Oh, frag you, Moon sweetspark. You've lodged your missile right inside one of my vents. You're absolutely _sparkless_," the seeker whines, claws scraping audibly at his own armor.

Moonracer ignores him as well. "Any of these tanks on this wall work very well for a single turbofish. They're social animals, and do better in schools, but they're harder to care for that way."

He tilts his head thoughtfully, "So should I get a second one to keep it company?"

She shakes her head, "Unless you're planning on dealing with at least five, it will do better by itself."

"Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it." Optimus studies the long line of tanks on the wall—they come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and a few are clearly meant for display purposes. He can't imagine turbofish _enjoying_ a collection of small bowls linked together with long tubes.

He eventually settles on a rectangular tank that will fit easily on the desk he has in the room on the ship. Moonracer rings it up, and smiles as he pays. "You're going to buy more turbofish from me when you get your sparklings, right?"

Optimus flushes, "If Aquafire is doing well in our home at that point, I imagine we will come and get him some companions. Perhaps some that can handle being picked up or squeezed by curious sparklings without taking damage."

She chuckles, "Turbofish are hardy things, and I'm sure that you'll do just fine with Aquafire. Just be sure not to overfeed him. If they eat too much, you have a chance of getting them stuck at that size. You can step up the feeding regime when they're about this big." She moves her servos so they're about twice as far apart as Aquafire is long, "Then they _really_ get big."

Arms wrap around him from behind, and Optimus tenses, fingers reaching into his subspace. "I got the rock out," Acidstorm hums, tossing the rock into a nearby pond, making the turbofish inside scatter. "You should pay for the damage you did to my vent grill, Moon darling."

She hums thoughtfully, then nods and gets a little closer, "I think, Acidstorm, that," her arm moves so fast Optimus barely registers it, and she punches the seeker hard, "you need to realize that I don't like you." She returns her attention to Optimus. "Do you need a schedule for when to feed Aquafire?"

He nods, and she sends him a datafile which is carefully annotated with helpful advice. "Do you offer this to all of your customers?"

Moonracer winks at him, "Only the cute ones."

He blushes brightly and looks away, murmuring almost inaudibly, "Thank you."

She punches him playfully on the arm, "You tell your Magnus that he's lucky he has you." She pushes him gently away from the counter, "Now head on out, I have to work, and you brought a seeker with you. They disrupt _everything_."

A half dozen customers _have_ wandered over from wherever they'd been in the shop, and are openly staring at Acidstorm, optics tracking the motion of his wings. Optimus shakes his head. "I appreciate the help. I'll send you image files of Aquafire if he starts displaying any special coloration?"

She beams him her frequency, "That'd be wonderful! If you're lucky, he'll turn red, but since you want him to be in larger containers, he'll most likely be green or blue." She glares at Acidstorm, "You really should head off, or I'm going to have to throw more rocks at the idiot there."

It's Optimus's turn to drag the seeker out, and then he's getting an irritated comcall from Sari. "Where the slag are you, Optimus? AllSpark's not a tracking device, you know. You're not in your room, that's for sure. We're going to some kind of movie today, and if I have to sit through it, so do you."

He shudders and puts a finger to his temple, "I was getting a tank for my tubofish, Sari. Acidstorm showed me Moonracer's shop. Why don't you take Cyclonus and Thrust instead of me? I can go exploring or something."

"Oh, they're coming too," Sari says with merciless glee. "But you're not getting out of this. Get your aft back to the hotel so we can all go watch Afterburner's favorite movie. We're leaving this planet tomorrow morning, after all."

He whines quietly before saying, "I think it would be better if you watch it with him, and not involve me. I'm sure that he doesn't even really _want_ me there."

He can hear her smirk, "Yes, he does."

"I ... see. Well, I just purchased a tank set-up for Aquafire, and was planning on-" he's cut off again.

"You can set it up later, Optimus. You're gonna watch a film with us, and that's final."

He looks up at the seeker next to him. "Is Acidstorm supposed to be joining us?"

He can imagine her shrug from her uncaring tone. "He can do whatever he wants. He's not _not_ invited."

"Then he can go in my place. I'm sure he'll love it."

"No can do, Optimus," Sari says it sweetly, but Optimus recognizes that as her "You aren't getting out of this one" voice. "Now get your aft back here so we don't end up being late."

He unconsciously moves so he's hiding behind the seeker. "I don't think I need to, Sari. I'm fine just not watching a movie at all."

"We're watching a film?" Acidstorm perks up, picking Optimus up to carry him. "Which one? Let's get you back to the hotel so we can watch it." Optimus squirms unhappily in his arms.

"I don't know which one." He makes a face as Acidstorm takes to the sky. "Sari didn't say, just that Afterburner likes it."

The seeker chuckles, "I bet it's that terrible comedy he loves."

"You know, I don't appreciate being picked up like a sparkling without being asked first," Optimus says casually, despite his spark's steady, unpleasant thrum in his chest. "And I do not intend to be held while we watch this movie, either."

The seeker grins at him, "You're the very first mech who's complained about this."

Optimus narrows his optics, "I had to deal with _Starscream_. Keep that in mind."

"Oh, trust me, I _am_ thinking about you. And Starscream." The seeker's tone indicates that he's thinking about Optimus _underneath_ Starscream, and the truckbot isn't fond of it at all. "I am at no risk of forgetting what a fierce and strong little Autobot you are."

His fingers twitch towards his subspace, and the only things keeping him from attacking are the fact that he's far too high up to land safely and that attacking will only make a seeker want to molest you _more_. Glaring at the bot, he says flatly, "And favored by the AllSpark High Priestess, don't forget that."

Acidstorm actually flinches at that, making him smile smugly. "Oh, I haven't forgotten at all, little Prime. She's very... unforgettable."

He gets placed back on his peds when they reach the hotel, which takes far longer than Optimus would have liked. Sari grins at him, "Have a nice flight?"

He narrows his optics. "No."

Acidstorm shuffles behind him as Sari looks up at the seeker with a critical look in her optics. "You didn't do anything the AllSpark didn't approve of, at least." She looks back at Optimus, "It didn't like you flirting with Moonracer, though."

Optimus gives her a confused look. "I was flirting?"

"That's what I said!" she exclaims, throwing up her arms, "You're _terrible_ at flirting. I knew it was just reading too much into it."

Optimus blushes, "She was very enthusiastic about the fact that I was going to have sparklings with Ultra. Moonracer hopes we buy more turbofish from her, for the sparklings."

Sari grins at him, baring denta. "That's fine. Now then," she turns to Acidstorm, "do you want to watch the movie with us? I'm sure Thrust and Cyclonus wouldn't mind you sitting next to them."

The Decepticon jet draws the cyclebot into his arms, giving Acidstorm a rather unfriendly look. Thrust, on the other servo, looks intrigued, and he pushes eagerly into Cyclonus's fingers on his sparkplates.

Acidstorm glides over to them, and whispers something in Cyclonus's audio. If anything it made the mech's expression darken. Deciding to ignore the byplay, Optimus returns his attention to Sari, "What is the movie about? If it is porn or something like that, I'm n-"

She gives him a dirty look, "It's a _comedy_. If it turns into anything too terrible, I'll let you go back to your room. If you like it, then there's no harm done."

Optimus is reluctant to go, but he's given no choice. He walks alongside them.

"I picked a theater close to the hotel," Afterburner confides to Sari, kissing her helmet, "so you would not have to ride inside the ... Optimus."

He sighs. "I am completely sincere about my offer of going back to the hotel room instead of going, you know."

Sari jumps over to his shoulders and sits on him. "You're coming to this thing with me, Optimus. Stop whining." She leans against his helmet. "Or I'll start thinking you don't like me anymore." She mock-pouts. "Is that it? Do you not love me anymore?"

He pats her side, saying flatly, "Yes, I absolutely despise you now. I guess I'm just going to have to be sent back to the ship and never let out until we return to Cybertron. Rather than being forced to go to movies."

Sari smacks his helmet. "Glitch. As if I'd let you become some kind of shut-in. All you'd do all day is chat with Ultra, and you'd both end up screwing up your courtship because of your fragging hormones."

Optimus sighs, "I could spend the time taking care of Aquafire. Like I was planning on doing until you called me about this."

She pokes him in the head, "Too bad, you get to come with us."

"I suppose I do." Sari's little peds kick him, and he changes to a more cheerful tone, "So, what's the name of this film we'll be watching?"

Acidstorm dips down low and knocks against Afterburner, "If I know our speedster, it's _The Death and Life of a Turbofish in Three Parts_. To be honest, Priestess, I was surprised he ended up your consort. I always assumed he'd bond to that fish of his."

She gives the seeker a dirty look, "You're lucky I know what that annoying feeling I was getting from you was is now, _and_ that I fixed it. Or you wouldn't be allowed near Afterburner."

The seeker turns and makes a face at her, "There are _easier_ ways to remove a virus than simply _ripping it off my spark_. Medics manage it all the time."

Her glare doesn't dim. "And you hadn't gone to one to do that, so you got to deal with me."

Acidstorm snorts, "I didn't know I was supposed to."

Sari's servos start to glow blue, and Optimus can hear the quiet whine of energy gathering. He's unsure if she's more likely to curse or shoot the seeker out of the sky like the birds in that duck shooting game she and Bumblebee played. "I'm sure he's very appreciative of the fact that you took the time and effort to deal with his health, Sari."

She continues to glare at the jetbot, but lets her servo power down. She mutters under her breath, "He _better_ be. Fragging ungrateful seekers."

Optimus searches for something to distract her, and sees Grapple rubbing his sparkplates. "I think Grapple needs a bit more time with you, Sari. He looks like he's in pain."

She studies the bot, and flits over to his shoulder. "Hey. Sorry about that. You should come recharge with us tonight."

Grapple freezes. "I wouldn't want to intru-"

She pats the mech softly, "You're _fine_. I wanted to test something on you, anyway. If it works, you'll be healing way faster."

The mech doesn't look happy, sinking in on himself a bit. "If ... you're sure I'm not intruding on anything."

"Don't worry. Afterburner can go a single night without being interfaced."

The racecarbot crosses his arms angrily, and glares at nothing in particular. While the cranebot looks like he wants to whine unhappily. Sari doesn't seem to notice, but if Optimus reads her expression correctly, she _does_; she just doesn't care.

At the very least, Grapple is no longer looking like he wants to remove his own spark to stop the ache. If the bot assumes Sari wants to use him for some ... nefarious purpose that evening, he would quickly be dissuaded, Optimus assumes. He's certain Sari wouldn't use the cranebot.

They make it to the movie theater with ease, and are let in with very little fuss. One of the bots looked like he wanted to yell at him for holding Aquafire, but took one look at Sari's expression and let it go. Which was disappointing, Optimus had wanted to use that as an excuse to return to the hotel.

He sits at the end of a row of seats, and feels rather small — most of the bots in the theater are neutral size or larger, and only a few cycle and carbots are close to his own height and mass. A few of the cyclebots are noticeably larger, and Optimus marks them as bots who would never be able to pull off a convincing Earth bike alt disguise.

Sari sits between Grapple and Afterburner, the racecar's arm over the crane's shoulder in a reluctant cuddle position to be closer to his bonded. Acidstorm is nuzzling into Cyclonus, while being very careful not to touch Thrust at all, even as the cyclebot keeps moving into more and more awkward positions to try to get the other mech to pet him as well.

The things he's doing would never be tolerated in a Cybertronian theater, but Optimus just turns his optics away, focusing on the screen. The plot is a simple one — a dark comedy about a mech with a pet turbofish that changes his life. There are three femmes involved, and Optimus gets the feeling that said mech will have interfaced all three by the end of the film.

He can barely pay attention to the movie, it really isn't something he likes. Most of the jokes make him uncomfortable, and the acting feels very fake to him. He offlines his audio part way through, and focuses on Aquafire. The turbofish is very angry and snappish, and he realizes he still has yet to feed the poor thing. That can't be helping its temper.

Audios online once more, he sends a brief text to Sari. _Could you please ask Afterburner if he has any turbofish food with him? I think Aquafire is hungry._

She glances over and him like he's the strangest mech in the Universe for asking for fish food while at a movie theater.

He jerks his head at Afterburner, and she sighs. The racecar shoots him a confused and irritated look until he points at Acidstorm, then the bot gets an angry look at the seeker. He is shortly handed over fishfood, passed down by a confused Thrust and Cyclonus. Not that he really cares; he has a fish to feed.

The oil flakes are a bit strange. They have energon mixed carefully into the flakes, giving them a sheen of pink when the light hits them correctly. Aquafire gobbles the down like candy when he drops a few into the container. Curious, Optimus pops one into his mouth. It's better than some of the energon-oil mixes they'd had on Earth when their dispenser was still malfunctioning.

Putting the rest away, he pets Aquafire. The fish snaps at him, but is less ... aggressive about it, he supposes. It doesn't seem to want to remove his fingers now. Maybe he'll be able to teach it to eat from his servo. That would be nice.

He hoped Ultra liked the turbofish. He'd never seen the mech with a pet of any type, and didn't know if Ultra actually _wanted_ any. Optimus rubbed the fins of his turbofish. If Ultra didn't like them, he supposed he could ... convince the bot to let them have more.

He blushes faintly at the thought, but just keeps petting Aquafire. The turbofish seems to have given up on making him _stop_, having realized that it really can't remove his fingers. It is far too small. The little turbofish sulks angrily in the container, twitching its fins irritably when he pets a little too much.

"You should consider investing in mineral washes," a friendly voice says from behind him, rather quietly — enough that his companions don't notice it. Optimus turns to look back, and in confronted by a very attractive tankbot mech. "They're pretty cheap, and they'll make your turbofish shinier."

Studying Aquafire, he nods before whispering back, "I'll keep that in mind." He wonders if Moonracer has any, and if he could go get it from her when the movie is over.

The bot smiles at him, very friendly and kind. "Not interested in the film, are you? Can't say that I am either. If you like, we could leave, and I could show you where to get some mineral additive."

He glances down at Aquafire, who snaps at him irritably, before shaking his head shyly, "No thank you." He realizes _exactly_ what the tankbot is really offering, and he's not the least bit interested. "I'm quite sure the _AllSpark High Priestess_ will help me with that instead."

The tankbot blanches, all the color draining from his golden faceplates, "Oh, Primus. You're ... Optimus Prime? I am _so_ sorry."

He pets his turbofish. "It's a little dark, so I'm sure you just didn't realize."

The mech nods and scoots back. "I'll leave you be then."

"It's alright. There was no harm done, and I _will_ ask for mineral washes for Aquafire, if you think they would be helpful." The bot only nods again, and Optimus turns away, trying to pick up where he'd stopped paying attention to the film.

... There was a bot on screen dressed as a turbofish. He was reminded of Alpha Trion, it was the whiskers, and it took quite a bit of effort to banish that image from his processor.

He thanks Primus that they _aren't_ showing sparks or anything like that, but the implication is certainly there. Shuddering unhappily, he returns his attention to Aquafire, who does not look the least bit glad to have recaptured it. He wonders vaguely if the fish will grow to love him, or if it will think of him as a horrible giant tormentor that sometimes feeds it.

Most likely the latter, he decides silently, dragging his finger along the outside edge of the container, watching Aquafire rear back and strike again and again, bashing into the places his fingertip paused at for too long.

Optimus taps the container, and Aquafire snaps at him angrily. He can't help but smile as the fish seems to get confused when he taps on the opposite side, only to decide he must have taken care of the finger on the old side and attack the new area.

Turbofish are delightfully feisty. He pulls out a single oil flake and holds it in the water for his pet, who eyes it with deep suspicion, noticing the fingers attached to its tasty treat. Optimus waits patiently, but the fish refuses to take food from his servo.

He puts it on the very top of the water, letting it float, and Aquafire circles it uneasily. It looks at him angrily before snapping it up, and seems almost surprised that it hadn't died. He puts another flake next to it in his fingers, and it still refuses to touch it.

His fish stares at it for a long moment, and then flicks a tail-full of water up onto Optimus's face. He shutters his optics and wipes it away. The turbofish then eats the flake he'd dropped to clean himself up.

He shakes with silent laughter at it, and Aquafire seems to realize what he's doing, snapping at him irritably. He pets the fish, ignoring the biting, and smiles. He hopes that it will learn to take flakes from his fingers, but it _is_ showing how smart it is.

Perhaps he'll be able to teach it to do tricks. That would teach Afterburner, because nowhere in the files Optimus had read had it said anything about the training capacity of turbofish. Optimus resolves to teach Aquafire at least one trick to perform on demand.

He's not sure _what_ he can teach it, but he'll figure something out. Earth has fish, and he knows that some humans trained those to do tricks. He'll do something like that. If that doesn't work, he'll just put tiny pile the food on a special shelf, and have Aquafire knock it down. Play to the destructive tendencies of turbofish for tricks.

His turbofish looks hungry still, but Optimus doesn't want to overfeed him, and the information manuals and feeding schedule both indicate that any more will cause his fish to stop growing lengthwise, and only grow in girth. He gets the feeling that a fat turbofish would be terribly sullen, having lost much of its destructive speed.

He pets Aquafire softly on the head, and the fish looks like it is enjoying it; he moves his finger quickly, just in time to avoid the snap of fishy jaws. Patting the irritable fish on the fins, he smiles. He has a _very_ smart fish.

The film is painfully long — Optimus notices that most of the bots in the theater have taken to doing ... things with their partners rather than watch the screen. He carefully avoids looking over at Sari and Afterburner. He doesn't want to know.

He returns his attention to Aquafire, who is not the least bit appreciative of it. Petting the turbo fish again, he moves his fingers just before the bite. He tilts his head, and holds his finger just above the water. Aquafire does not take the bait, and utterly refuses to jump out of the water even with coaxing.

Training would have to wait until he was in a better venue than a dark theater, surrounded by bots performing various lewd acts. Optimus waits patiently until the movie finally ends, and the lights are raised. He's assuming Afterburner and Sari will be busy putting his affairs in order the rest of the day, and Optimus will be free to curl up on his berth and ... nap. Or whatever else occurs to him at the time.

He stands up, and follows everyone out. Acidstorm is _clinging_ to Cyclonus, and the ex-Decepticon looks horribly confused about why he's not throwing the seeker off himself. Afterburner looks like he's very angry, but Optimus can't see how that's really different than normal when Sari isn't sitting on the racecar. Only Grapple looks relaxed, letting Sari pet his helmet as they walk.

Optimus wishes he could call Ultra again. If he was back on Cybertron, he'd have found a legitimate reason to visit Ultra in his office, and spent some time just talking to his bot. He flushes. Well, perhaps not _just_ talking. It _was_ the office, but a few touches wouldn't hurt anything.

He speeds up walking so he's next to Sari, "The tankbot behind me mentioned mineral water for turbofish. Is that a good idea, Afterburner?"

The racecar blinks at him, and is about to say something when Sari gives him a dirty look. "So _that_ is why the AllSpark wanted me to start yelling during the movie."

Optimus flushes, "He didn't even recognize me, Sari. As soon as he did, he apologized and backed off. The AllSpark can be a bit paranoid."

"You can say that again," she mutters.

He pets Aquafire, moving away just before the bite again. "But, Afterburner, mineral water?"

The racecar frowns at him, but nods, "It will make your fish brighter. Really bring out the color when it starts to develop."

"What color do you think he'll be?" Sari asks, gazing down at the fish, which has rolled upside down so she can dart over and rub its belly. "I hope he's yellow."

"Moonracer said blue or green, but red if I'm lucky."

She tickles Aquafire, smiling as the fish seems to giggle. "Well, we'll see, won't we?"

"Most bots can't raise their turbofish long enough for it to develop any color — or it gets old enough, but stays a silver or gold." Afterburner smiles, displaying his sharp denta. "Don't be too upset if yours never picks up a color."

Sari shoots her consort an irritated look. "It'll pick up color. In fact," she taps Aquafire right between the optics and there's a flash of light, "it now has a spot of blue."

"That's cheating," Afterburner complains, reaching over to pull Sari into his arms. "And I refuse to accept it." He kisses her softly. "Unless you agree to bless a few of my newest additions as well."

She kisses him back, "Of course. I already blessed Rosebud for you, I can do more before we leave."

Optimus ignores the rest of their back and forth, not really wanting to watch them as they chatter about the various turbofish they will be taking with them. Instead, he pets Aquafire, and moves before it can bite him.

When they reach the hotel again, Sari gives him a dark look. "You are _not_ going to spend the rest of the evening in your room, Optimus. I want you to go out and do something — even if you just go somewhere and pick up fast-food for your dinner. Don't become a shut-in."

He blinks at her for a moment, then nods. "If that's what you want me to do, Sari. I still need to put my turbofish in my room so it will be safe, though."

She gives him a critical look. "Okay, but I expect you _not_ to stay in the hotel. You have my frequency, and I expect to be called when you leave. Got it?"

"Yes, Sari," he says dutifully, before breaking off to find his room once more. He'll be leaving Aquafire behind, and then heading out to … do something. If Moonracer is off-shift by now, she might be willing to escort him somewhere interesting.

He makes it to his room fairly easily, and fills up the tank he got to put Aquafire in. The turbofish looks _even angrier_ to be in the larger area than the smaller one, which confuses him. He pets the fish, and all it does is sulk at him. Shrugging, he puts his finger to his temple, and calls up Moonracer.

"'Racer's House of Exotic 'Facing Toys, can I help you pick out a sparktoy today, sir?"

Optimus splutters, and flushes, "Oh, I, I think I have the wrong com-frequency, let me-"

"Ha. You have the right one, sweetspark. Do you have a problem with your fish already?" she teases, her voice warm and friendly.

He blushes even more. "Don't call me that. And no, nothing is wrong with Aquafire."

She tsks at him. "I'll stop with the nicknames, but only because it's _you_, Optimus. What did you call me for if it isn't about your turbofish?"

"I was hoping you were finished with your work shift for the day. I've found myself with a large amount of free time and a severe lack of tour guide." Lack of tour guide who wouldn't seriously consider stranding him in a dark alleyway somewhere.

She giggles, "Are you asking me on a _date_?" He starts to stutter a negative only for her to laugh at him and reply, "I'm teasing. I know you aren't. What did you have in mind?"

He rubs the back of his helmet in embarrassment, glad she can't see him. "Sari said I should go out to eat, but I really don't know."

"It's too early to refuel," Moonracer scolds. "But I'd be glad to take you someplace nice. We have a nice racetrack nearby if you want to spin your wheels a bit."

He pokes at Aquafire, and gets ignored by the fish, "I guess we could? Everything is a lot bigger than I'm used to, so I don't know how well I'd do."

"Well, it isn't like anyone will care if you win or lose if we race. We don't even _have_ to race at all, it is just spending time in vehicle mode. Everyone likes that."

He laughs. "At least I'll offer the bots here a better look at an Earth alt. The lightbar took a bit of getting used to, along with the siren."

He can hear Moonracer's smile. "You'll show me it when we meet up, right?"

He hums agreeably. "Most likely on the racetrack, actually. It is _really_ loud. Better not to have it go off in a building. Should I wait in the lobby for you?"

"You do that, sweetspark, and I'll come and pick you up for our playdate." She makes kissy noises at him over the com, and Optimus arches an optic ridge. "Try to look nice and shiny for me."

He sighs, "I got assaulted by a seeker earlier, it will be hard _not_ to be shiny."

She laughs, "All the better then," and disconnects the com call.

Despite being able to keep ahead of most Decepticons in battle, on a flat-out race-track, he knows he doesn't have much speed. Especially not in comparison to racecarbots, whose designs are streamlined and engines built specifically for the task.

He pats Aquafire gently on the head, avoids getting bitten, and heads out of the room. Walking down the hallways, he deftly moves out of the way of irritable bots who don't look the least bit happy to see him, and finally makes it to the lobby.

It's easy to tell the new guests from repeat ones — the new ones all wander to the pool filled with turbofish and get splashed liberally with water; the return guests manage to avoid that humiliation. Optimus doesn't mind getting a bit wet for a better look at them.

He's petting one of the friendlier ones when a pair of servos cover his optics, "Guess who, sweetie."

Smiling, he puts a finger to his lips thoughtfully. "It can only be a seeker. Is that you, Slipstream?"

He's smacked in the back of the helmet playfully by Moonracer. "I am not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult. Seekers are crazy hot, but their voices are _terrible_. Are you saying my voice is as bad as a seeker, or are you declaring I'm as pretty as a femme seeker?"

"You have a lovely voice, and a lovely racecar frame." He turns around and pats her shoulder, consoling her. "But I'm promised to another mech, and it is best if I try not to focus on your beauty."

She twitches her shoulders, moving her spoiler like faux wings. "I am _very_ lovely." She smiles, "But, yes, since you are in courting, it is best if you don't." She starts walking, not even looking back to make sure he follows. "To the racetrack?"

"Lead, and I will follow," he promises, trailing along behind her. When she transforms down, he does as well, and he pulls up alongside her. "It's not too far away, is it?"

Moonracer scrapes his side playfully, "Far enough to give your axles a chance to loosen up before you have to really get them going on the track."

"You'll still beat me if we race there."

She laughs cheerfully, "Race there? You don't even know _how_ to get there. Of course I'll beat you."

Optimus flashes his lightbar at her, but keeps the siren off. "I'm not averse to losing to bots with better speed than myself. I _was_ on a team with Bumblebee, of course. He prided himself on being fast."

She giggles happily, "He's a minibot, though. He isn't up to racecar speeds. He could have left most carbots in the dust, but few can hold to racecars on the ground."

"Yes, he complains about that often when Sunstorm is racing him. Something about 'cheating jetbots with more thruster than respect for the rules.'" Of course, no self-respecting seeker would ever race a bot in vehicle mode on the ground. They're very touchy about using their landing gear for anything other than display. It's not as if they would have it, if any of them had chosen to revert to the Cybertronian default frame.

"Finicky things, ain't they?" Moonracer swerves up against him, and then away, trying to spook him off track. "Acidstorm won't even deign to race with us _groundpounders_."

Optimus chuckles, staying on a straight path since he wasn't the least bit fooled by her scare tactics. "I'm fairly sure the only reason he races with Bumblebee is because he needed to _convince_ Bee to be with him." Moonracer makes a questioning sound, and he elaborates, "Most of the rest of the bots on earth were willing to just be with the seekers, but Bumblebee and me were far too used to fighting them to give in to them very quickly. Bumblebee and Sunstorm had a few dates that had all the humans scrambling to find out what was going on." He pauses. "... they thought Bee was a femme because of it for awhile."

She snorts, "That minibot, a femme? He doesn't have the hips for it. How could they have even thought that?" Moonracer speeds past him, and flashes her tail lights, "Probably won't act like a femme in the berth either."

He increases his own speed to catch up with her; she's giving him a good pre-race work-out, at least. "Humans can be quite strange. The way they create their sparklings, for instance ..." he shudders, "is not something I enjoy remembering."

Mooracer slows down a bit, "Do I want to know?"

He shudders again. "_No_." She laughs loudly and speeds back up, making him put on speed to catch up again. "It really is terrifying. If you really want to know you can ask Sari. She's the one that told me."

Moonracer blinks her lights sadly. "But she doesn't like me, remember? Doesn't like that I was with Afterburner before her."

"You're better off not knowing. There are … fluids involved." He trembles a bit, and forces his processor away from the thought. "And even more fluids when the sparkling arrives. She made me watch a video of it. And Ratchet helped carry a femme who was giving birth once. He said there were fluids inside of him because of it."

The medicbot hadn't been bothered by it, but Optimus had done his best to keep clear of him until he knew that Ratchet had taken several trips to the washrack.

Moonracer giggles merrily. "_You're_ full of fluids, Optimus." She drops her speed to buzz him, speeding right back up, "All of us are. What do you think energon and lubricants are?"

If he was in robot mode, he'd make a face at her, so instead he flashes his lights in irritation. "But we don't spill them out unless something is cutting us up. Imagine how messy it would be to carry a sparkling, and to take it out as you were spilling energon and oil all over as it was happening. All over your spark."

The femme spins her wheels so they screech on the pavement. "No thank you. It sounds unpleasant." The street narrows significantly, and Optimus has to follow directly behind her to avoid blocking the opposite side of the street. "The track should be around the corner. Hate the way they designed the streets to slow you down before you get there. It's slagging irritating."

And it likely prevents bots from crashing through the gates and onto the track without warning.

They arrive, and Moonracer escorts him and introduces him to a group of femmes. "Haven't had a chance to see you get up to speed yet." Moonracer prods him towards the track. "Go on, Optimus. We'll start you with something easy. Just take a few laps to warm up."

Optimus shakes his head and transforms down - his truckbot frame is _not_ designed for speed, and he isn't going to impress any of the bots. It _will_ feel amazing to get a chance to spin his wheels at a decent speed, and that's all that matters. "Don't be upset if I'm not much of a challenge for any of you. I'm used to having my aft handed to me in races."

The femmes all make shooing motions, and he heads onto the track. It does feel wonderful to have a track _built_ for speeding under his wheels, and he just does the laps, not thinking about how much of a fool he's making of himself for all the various racecars and cyclebots littering the edges of the track. After he does two laps at top speed, having used one to _get_ that high, uses one to slow down. When he's back to the group of femmes, Moonracer pats him on the shoulder. "You're right. You won't be much of a challenge."

One of the other racecar femmes giggle behind her servos. "But you aren't built for it, so that's not surprising. We could still race if you want, though. You looked like you were having fun, and it is nice to just go all out."

"I would be honored to have a chance to race against you. Just promise you won't gloat _too_ much when you win," he shakes his head fondly. "Bumblebee developed a victory dance specifically for use after beating us in races. I wouldn't have minded, if the victory dance hadn't been quite so involved and _long_. We usually left him behind."

One of the cyclebots smiles and pulls him with her to the track. "Some of the mechs are like that here; mostly we ignore them."

He nods, "A good policy." He follows her into vehicle mode. "I'd tell you to go easy on me, but you can go ahead and go as fast as you'd like. I won't mind."

She tsks at him, "And you a courting bot." She laughs happily. "If I wasn't bonded, I'm not sure I'd say yes." She spins her wheels again, "But, yes, if you lose, you will get a hug. I'll even give you a head start, if you want."

He flashes his lights happily. "I'm never one to turn down an advantage from such a superior opponent." He takes off quickly, and is not the least bit surprised that she waits until he actually does an entire lap to start.

She laughs loudly. "Four laps to win, Optimus. Let's see if you can beat me with such a big lead."

All of his attention is set on the track, and on keeping his speed through the turns - and he still ends up being passed on the second lap. He makes a valiant effort to keep up, but he falls further and further behind. Had this been Velocitron, he might have had a chance, because they enjoy lacing their tracks with obstacles that often require transformation to pass. Without such obstacles, he loses the race by nearly a full lap of distance.

He transforms up and holds out his arms. "Consolation hug now? I might burst into tears at any moment."

She transforms, and laughs loudly, "If only to stave off your Autobot tears, Pr-Optimus." She walks over and gives him a hug, though he actually lets go before she does. "There you go." He's pulled to the group again. "Do you need a break, or are you up for another race?"

He smiles, "I think I could do another, then I'd need a break. It has been awhile since I've been able to do this. Too busy in the office or fighting before that, and out cleaning space debris from space bridges before _that_."

"Doesn't Cyberton have any good racetracks?" a green racecar model leads him to the track, and he _knows_ he has no chance of winning this race. "You'd think it would, since it's the core planet and all. I've never been, myself."

"There are many racetracks on Cybertron," he confirms, sinking back into vehicle mode comfortably. "I have not had the opportunity to test them in ages. Even when I was in the academy, I rarely had the time to race for entertainment. Most of it was simply to get myself to passing speed for the exams." He laughs. "I have to admit, I considered abandoning my reports and wasting an evening at the tracks several times. Duty comes first, sadly."

To his absolute lack of surprise, he loses this four-lap race. By less than half the lead she gave him, but still: he loses.

Wrapping his arms around her, he gives _her_ a quick hug. "You are so kind, to help stave off my imminent breakdown from so many failures. It is like a balm for my spark and my wounded pride." He huffs out a quiet laugh and exits the track so another pair of bots can use it for their challenge. When he reaches Moonracer, he gives her a helpless smile. "I told you I wasn't going to be much of a match for the bots here."

His shoulder is in danger of accumulating dents from how hard she's slapping it, "Cheer up, Optimus. I'm sure we can find someone for you to win against. Maybe some model with a missing wheel."

He smiles, rubbing his shoulder absently. "That isn't very fair, they would humiliate me terribly, and I would just have no one to blame but myself."

The femmes all giggle at him. "Well, we could find a one wheeled cycle mech. Surely you'd be able to beat him."

He puts the back of his hand to his forehead. "You just want to see how badly I'd lose to him. You just want me to be here so you can laugh at me."

"If you lost to him, we'd give you _kisses_," one femme giggles, and then raises her servos when a few others glare at her, "_courtship-approved_ kisses, of course. Cheek only. I'm not stupid enough to try and ruin a courtship, especially an AllSpark approved one."

Optimus battles back a blush, "Give kisses to the loser, and you might discover that in the next race, both bots try to lose."

They all giggle loudly, and a red racecar starts to take his arm when there's a call behind him, "Prime!" He blinks in surprise, and turns around, the femme switching arms as he does so. The yell was from an angry dark blue and bright green striped racecar. "I want to race you."

Giving the mech a smile, he looks to the femme still on his arm, "She's claimed me first, but I ca-"

The mech shoves him, "No, we're racing now. And when I beat you, you get away from all the femmes, _Prime_."

He looks at the mech in shock, "I was invited over by Moonr-"

The red racecar femme tightens her grip on his arm, and yanks him away. "Go away, Ironbolt. I _want_ to race him, and you're just upset that none of us like racing with you. Go back to bragging about how great you are to the other mechs."

Instead of taking the hint, even when that hint was as bold as a slap to the face, the mech crosses his arms over his chest. "I'm not leaving until he races me. Bots like him need to be taught their place. He can't just waltz in here and act like he owns the place. He didn't even sign up on the list for the race track."

Optimus blinks. "There was a list? Oh, I'm sorry. If you show me where it is, I'll go sign up now."

Moonracer stops him. "Don't bother. No one uses the list except for him and his idiot glitch friends."

He shuffles his peds. "Still, if it's there, I shou-"

The red femme shakes her head angrily, "_He_ is the one that put it up. We aren't going to let him take over the racetrack just because he wants to 'face us. I'm _bonded_, and he still hits on me all the time. He's a fragger."

Optimus's optics narrow, you just _don't_ do that with a bonded bot. They chose to be with one forever, and doing that is like saying that they don't really love each other. Ironbolt sneers, "I'm _still_ not leaving until I have a race with the Prime, and when he loses, he has to get away from all of you."

Rubbing his optics in an attempt to stave off a processor ache, Optimus comments, "The race is going to be like watching Afterburner catch a turbofish. I'm not going to win, just as they've demonstrated." He waves a servo at the two femmes he raced, "And she," he points at the racecar, "gave me a three lap headstart in a four lap race. If you are absolutely _certain_ that you want to humiliate yourself by challenging someone that is so clearly outmatched, we can race. But declaring that if I lose, all of them have to stop talking to me, just because you say so, is not going to be enforced. I've yet to get a femme to stop doing something if she really wanted it."

"Unless you want to prove what cowards and liars Autobots are, you'll _leave_ the track when you lose, and you won't bother these femmes ever again," Ironbolt growls at him. Optimus wonders how a bot can manage to survive with such little understanding of how femmes react to things like this. The more he pushes, the more the femmes cluster around Optimus, claws twitching with the need to scratch and slash the offending bot away from them. Ironbolt is going to end up losing quite a bit of his energon if he doesn't give up the macho routine.

Venting a sigh, Optimus holds out his servo. "A compromise, if you will. When I lose, I will leave the track. However, I cannot stop the femmes from doing whatever they please. If they choose to leave with me, I cannot be blamed for your sudden lack of an audience for the stunts you want to show off."

The red femme clutches his arm, "I want to race you _first_, Optimus. He can be a slaghead after, but I want to race with you." Ironbolt reaches over to yank Optimus away, only to have her claws rake across his face. "I will rip out your _spark_, fragger. It is _my turn_."

Optimus sighs, he wonders why it is only after he started courting that all these bots have decided he's so great. "You don't argue with a femme."

She beams at him. "You're already so well trained. Ultra is very lucky." She pulls him to the track, "You will get a two-lap headstart. I'm not as fast as Wildshadow, or I'd give you three laps, too."

Energon drips from between Ironbolt's fingers as he curses and tries to repair himself, "I'm going to slagging race you after this, and then you're going to frag off, Autoscum."

Optimus gives him a brief nod, and then transforms down to prepare for the race he'll actually enjoy. "I do hope you'll give me a consolation hug as well, after you show me your speed. I'm beginning to think that only Blurr would be able to beat most of you."

She revs her engine, a little bit of a flush spreading over her plating. "Aw, you're too sweet."

He takes off on the track, and makes his two laps. She stays next to him for about a fourth of the lap on the third, then hurries along to join him along the way on their mutual fourth lap. She stays next to him at his top speed for all but the last part, crossing the finish just a little bit before him. He laughs softly, rubbing the back of his head as she beams at him when they turn back to bot mode. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

She hugs him softly, still smiling up at him. "But it was fun, you did really well for a truckbot."

He smiles back at her, hugging back before they break apart. "Thank you."

They're interrupted by Ironbolt, shoving his way in between them. "Keep your slagging servos off the femmes, Prime. You don't have the right to touch them like that." He seems completely ignorant of the way the femme is hissing at him, and continues, "Get ready to lose. I don't want to see your face around here ever again after we toss your aft out for not even managing to finish the race."

There's no reason he won't finish, unless Ironbolt is planning on attacking and damaging him midrace. However, Optimus has faced off against Decepticons, and one neutral mech doesn't frighten him.

Mentally shrugging, he starts down the track, gaining momentum. He's about a third of the way down when the mech flashes past him. He sighs, but keeps going, there's no reason to slow down when he's having _fun_ going as fast as he can. Ironbolt buzzes past him again, just barely not hitting him, and he's not very suprised when it happens for the other laps, as well. He's about a fourth of the way to finishing his first lap when the bot has already won. He's waffling back and forth on if he should just stop or keep going as he reaches the line, when he's attacked by the racecar.

He's in botmode instantly, dodging out of the way at the last moment. He reaches into his subspace, and snaps cuffs on the mech when he's attacked again. Sighing, he shakes his head at the surprised look on Ironbolt's face. "You won, there was no need to attack just because I'm not as fast as you in vehicle mode."

Optimus returns to the femmes. "I am going to hold good to my bet, even if he did attack me after he won. I noticed an energon cafe on the way here, and I invite any of you to come join me if you like. I will, of course, be paying the tab." He has little else to waste the credits they give him on. "I'm sorry I did not get a chance to race you, Moonracer, but I think we both know how that would have ended."

She pats his head. "You might have finished a full lap before I took pity on you and joined in so you wouldn't have to suffer humiliation for as long."

He smiles. "If that's what you would have wanted to do." He makes his way to the exit, and all the femmes crowd around him. "So we're all going to the energon shop?"

The racecar that the red femme said was called Windshadow nods. "You're paying, and you're talking about the one that's just a few blocks that way, right?" She points in the general direction of the shop he was thinking of, and he nods. She smirks, "They have these really good specialty rust sticks. They wrap energon candy around it in a spiral all the way up the stick, and put crystals on it. I normally get blue Cora crystal on it, so that it can help heal any fractures I may have picked up while racing."

It's not a cheap additive, but Optimus is willing to honor his promise and pay for anything the femmes might want at the little cafe. "Shall we go?"

They leave an angry group of mechs behind, and Optimus gets to drive in the middle of a pack of femmes. More than he's ever been with at once before. It's an interesting experience. They keep rubbing up against his sides playfully, and Optimus knows his paint is going to be embarrassingly streaked with color by the time they reach the cafe. He sometimes wishes femmes didn't do that. He doesn't want to look like he's been the center of some wild femme orgy.

Shameful streaks of color coat him on nearly every surface. He's unsure how Moonracer managed to get her blue paint on his _aft_, but his reflection assures him it is there.

"Most bots are easy enough to get in a pair of cuffs. I had quite a lot of help learning the ability from my instructors at the Academy." They move to the back of the restaurant, away from the windows, to find a set of seats adequate for their entire group. "I was a good student, or so they claimed. I even had Ultra himself offering to help me with my restraint practice." He flushes. "Though I think I may have missed some of his meaning when he offered to tie me to his berth for practice."

The green femme tickles his sparkplates playfully, "If you were my bondmate, I do not think you would have gotten free so easily. I'm surprised Ultra Magnus didn't resort to stasis cuffs to keep you in place."

He blushes even brighter, staring down at the table they claimed. "He did, actually, but I can pick those. My current mode doesn't have as many places for me to hide the picks as my Cybertronion one does, though. It would have been helpful fighting Decepticons if I did."

The femmes all give him surprised and amazed looks. "You can pick stasis cuffs?"

He smiles, looking up at them happily. "It takes awhile, but yes, I can pick them open."

The green femme smiles, "But back to you cuffing Ironbolt, you did that really fast. How fast can you do it?"

He bites his lower lip, looking around the shop and doing a quick calculation, "I could get everyone in here in cuffs in about a klik, but I'd have to work from the door out, and hope a few bots are stunned at my audacity."

Actually, he could probably do it a bit faster, since these bots are neutrals, and they've likely seen little combat. They won't be expecting a bot his size to be capable of such a feat, and they won't expect _any_ bot to suddenly cuff the room. However, he doesn't want to inflate his skills. He could do it in a klik, or faster, but he would rather give the more conservative estimate. So as not to disappoint if he was ever expected to prove his claim.

"You should cuff this bot for us," Moonracer says excitedly, plucking a passing waitermech over to their side. "Go on, cuff him."

He blinks in surprise, "I couldn't do that. Why would I b-"

She waves a servo. "He doesn't mind. Right, Aquablades?"

The waiter gives her a confused look, "... no?" She gives him a slightly disappointed look, and he straightens up. "No, I'm okay with it. Whatever this is. Go ahead."

Optimus sighs, and just throws the cuffs at Aquablades, and they slip on just like that. "It would be harder if he hadn't had his arms held out."

The femmes pout at him until he takes the cuffs off and puts on a show for them. He backflips over the other mech, cuffing him that way, finishing it off with a perfect landing and a theatrical bow. "Does that satisfy you?"

Unexpectedly, the mech turns to face him, "It satisfies me, and I don't even enjoy being cuffed in the berth."

Embarrassment spreads through him and he takes the cuffs back, and sneaks up between two of the femmes to get away. "That's," he says, from his safe perch, "very nice. I hope you find some nice mech who is willing to learn to cuff you like that."

Aquablades gives him a disappointed look, and one of the femmes pats the mech on the back, "He's courting, sweetie, _and_ here with the High Priestess. You just got cuffed by Optimus Prime. Have the file to remember it."

The waiterbot's optics light up, then return to normal when he asks brightly, "You all need menus? Or do you already know what you want?"

Optimus is about to say he _does_, but he gets pushed into a chair by one of the femmes, and they all start ordering. When it gets to him, Moonracer says, "He's getting the rust sticks. Do you like iron filings or crystals, Optimus?" She doesn't even wait for him to open his mouth. "Get him one of everything but the red and pink Cora crystals. No need to get him revved when he can't do anything about it right now."

He ducks his head; he's getting used to spending large portions of his time embarrassed. He should ask Perceptor about a code to kill all of his blushing. It's really irritating. "I won't be able to eat that much candy," he protests, before a servo goes over his mouth.

"Ignore him. He'll be able to taste it all, and he can get the leftovers put in a bag. Or we'll eat them for him." Moonracer smiles brilliantly at Aquablades. "The rest of us will have our usuals. But double the candy orders for us." She pats Optimus, finally uncovering his mouth, "He's volunteered to pay for us."

He just smiles and nods. "I'm not going to go back on the offer."

Aquablades beams and takes off after saying, "I'll put it all on one bill then. I'll go get it ready for you."

The femmes all crowd around him, "You're going to love the candy, Optimus. It is absolutely wonderful."

He rubs the back of his head, blushing brightly, "I'm sure it will be great, but I'm kind of spoiled because Sari has that candy Oil Slick gave her, and she gives me a little sometimes. And it is better than the stuff you get at The World's End. Oil Slick is one of, um," he frowns, trying to remember the number, "three bots that can make it."

"Oil Slick?" a yellow femme asks incredulously, "The same Oil Slick who created cosmic rust? You ate something he made, _willingly_?"

Nodding, Optimus watches the waiterbot come out with the first two trays of many, his optics widening at the enormous selection of candy on the tray. "He would never poison Sari. Not without direct orders, and Megatron respected her too much to ever put her at risk that way." He shakes his head, "While we could never trust them around the rest of the bots, neither bot was willing to harm Sari or any of our sparklings."

The candy and various energon cubes are spread around the table, the largest pile in front of him. He's not exactly where to start when one of the plain ones is pushed in his servos. "Start with that, and we'll work you through the rest." He nibbles on it, and smiles; it is actually quite good. Returning his attention to Moonracer, the femme waves a servo. "Sparklings? You had sparklings on the planet?"

He chews on the rust stick, happy with the sweetness, "Yes, after the seekers joined up, they had sparklings. Once, Firefly flew away, and we couldn't find him for the longest time. He was found recharging on Bee and Sunstorm's window that night, and when he onlined, he chattered about a large grey mech with red accents." He finishes the rust stick, "It could only have been Megatron."  
"You are positive of this?" Moonracer holds out an energon sweet, and Optimus attempts to take it from her, only to have it snatched out of his reach. "No, no, naughty mech. Take it with your mouth."

The other femmes laugh, and Optimus flushes. This isn't flirtation so much as it is outright _teasing_. He leans forward and takes the sweet between his denta, careful to not touch her claws for even a moment. Triumphant, he lets the candy dissolve on his glossa with a smug grin.

He's slightly uncomfortable with all the bots staring at him and all the femmes, but he supposes that this is what _always_ happens if a large crowd of femmes is around, just from judging how the femmes are acting with the staring. He takes more candy, and tastes it slowly.

They go on like this for a megacycle, before they break it up and Moonracer takes him back to the hotel. She gives him a hug and waves goodbye at the door to his room, and he heads in.

There's an energon cube sitting on his table, with a note attached. He smiles-Sari is the only one who leaves him written notes like that still-and the smile turns to an irritated look when he realizes she's written 'kidnapped ur fish. you can have him back when you prove you aren't an antisocial loner doomed to grow old with your fifty cats and a picture of ultra in your pocket.'

He considers heading to her and Afterburner's room to get Aquafire back, but that would require dealing with _Afterburner_. He deems it just not worth it, and flops into the berth. Scooting into a slightly more comfortable position, he pulls out a datapad to read, and sends a text to Sari. He doesn't want to interrupt her, and this is the least obtrusive way to do it. _I'm back now, and it isn't very fair to say I'm antisocial when I spent my time out with a group of bots racing, then talking in an energon shop._

He settles down to read, putting away the energon cube in his subspace, and waits for a reply.

It's several megacycles later when he finally gets his reply, and it's a simple, _I'll give you your fish back tomorrow. Get some recharge, 'cause we'll be leaving pretty early._

Optimus sets his datapad aside and allows himself to recharge, truly content for the first time in a long time.

* * *

Of course, Optimus had forgotten that the newsbots were particularly good at warping anything and everything to fit whatever twisted narrative suited them and riled up their audiences the most. He had taken to keeping away from news channels.

This means that he is quite confused when Ultra's comcall wakes him from his recharge that morning.

Standing up, he moves to the console and answers it. His intended looks absolutely frantic, speaking _far_ too fast for so early in the morning, so he ignores Ultra in favor of pulling out the cube of energon and drinking it. He's about a third of the way through when Ultra finally starts to make any sense. "You went on a date with _femmes_! Everyone here seems to think you broke the courting, and I want to know from _you _what really happened!"

He blinks at his beloved in confusion, then drinks a little more of his energon. It is absolutely wonderful, and he wonders how Sari even _got_ such a plain blend since merely having her touch the cubes upgrades the refinement so very much.

He takes a nice soothing ventilation and smiles up at Ultra, "Good morning, love. I'd ask how you are, but it is pretty obvious you're worried." He sets his half full cube down. "I got invited to go racing, a bot informed me I was..." he frowns and shakes his head before making finger quotes: "'stealing all the femmes' when I just kept getting pulled into more races. When the race car inevitably won against me after challenging me to a race, then _attacked_ me, I left, and all the femmes ended up coming with." He rolls his optics, "Then I had to show them how I cuff a bot before we ordered our fuel at an energon shop. We left awhile after." He smiles up at his mech, optics interested, "And how was _your_ sol, my beloved Ultra?"

Ultra Magnus seems to have been derailed by his long explanation, and Optimus graciously gives him a klik to reorganize his thoughts. "It has been rather upsetting. I never enjoy a sol when I am awoken by a call informing me that there are scandalous image captures of you licking a femme's claws."

Scowling, Optimus wishes terrible things on nosy bots who sell images to tabloids. "I never licked her claws."

Ultra gives him an unreadable look, "But you took candy from her claws?"

Optimus raises an optic ridge, "If you had a femme sitting in front of you _right now_ instead of me talking on the com, and she told you that you _must_ eat the candy from her claws, could _you_ tell her no?"

His intended looks at him with a slightly chastened expression, "... no."

He smiles and nods. "They would not _accept_ it if I told them no." He picks his energon cube back up, drinking it slowly, "Our courting is perfectly safe. If it wasn't, Sari would be yelling at me right now."

His door slides open with a crash-something he was unaware a door was capable of doing-and Sari storms inside. "Are you ready to go yet, Optimus? We're leaving like, _now_, and if you don't have your stuff packed, we're going to have to leave it behind, even if it is your favorite summer dress." She glances at the console. "Hello, pervbot. I hope you weren't trying to lure Optimus up to your room for a romantic evening alone. That's the entirely wrong genre." She wraps a hand on Optimus's servo and tugs him away from the console. "C'mon. We've got more adventure literature to work on."

He gives her a confused look, and Ultra starts to talk, "Sari, can I talk to y-"

She slams a hand on the console, shutting it off. "No talking to your boyfriend, Optimus. We are _leaving_." She tugs him out of the door, "The ship is ready, and your fish is in a tank in your room. He is very cheerful, swimming happily."

He's pretty sure that's only because Sari was there, but he nods. He walks with her down the hallway, "Ultra was trying to ask you if the courtship had been invalidated because I spent all that time with those femmes, and it got out all over the tabloids."

"Pfft," she waves off his concern, "if tabloids invalidated courtships then there wouldn't be a bonded pair of bots anywhere." She pauses, "Well, I guess most bonds were done without the long, boring courtship you want so badly, you great big freak." She prods his side. "You're lucky Ultra is so ancient that a few years is like a blink of the eye to him."

Optimus huffs, "He's not _that_ old, Sari."

"Please," she shakes her head. "Love has blinded you. His _wrinkles_ have wrinkles. You should make sure he gets his internals checked before you frag him. He might be all rusty inside."

"Sari!"

She snorts, "He is _so old_, Optimus." She rolls her eyes, "Maybe he matches you, though. You are _so old_." He's about to protest when she waves her arms, "Over a million years old! And _Afterburner_ is even older! Why is my pretty racecar so _old_, Optimus? _So old_." She groans unhappily, "All the bots that are _my_ age are babies! He is _old_."

"Bots age differently, Sari, you-"

"Yeah, yeah." She punches his side hard enough to leave a dent. "It was a rhetorical fucking question, Optimus. I know I'm probably going to age the same freaking slow way." She rubs her eyes, "Know that I'm already aging that freaking way." She holds up a fist when he goes to speak again. "Don't, or I'll give you another dent. Your job is to be quiet and let me rant."

He sighs, reaching down and patting her softly. "Why are you so upset about this, Sari?"

She closes her eyes, leaning against him unhappily, "I just... Everyone I ever dated or knew on earth is going to die. Bad enough dad is gone, but I'm..." she sighs unhappily, "I don't like it."

He pets her gently, careful of her unarmored skin. "Look at it this way, you'll be with _us_ for a very long time, and won't put us through losing you. Don't you think that's worth it? So what that Afterburner is older than I am, or that Ultra is as old as Megatron? We love them, and it is almost impossible to offline as long as you stay in good repair. They aren't going to disappear if you look away."

Optimus has long suspected that part of the reason so many Cybertronians avoid contact with organics is linked to the fact that organics tend to be so very short-lived. There are a few that have very long lifespans, but they are in the minority.

Sari punches his side again, muttering, "Told you to stay quiet. Jerk. Trying to make me feel better."

He smiles at her. "Did it work?"

She nods reluctantly, "Yeah. I guess..." She frowns, "All the rest are in the ship, and we arranged it so Moonracer takes care of Afterburner's turbofish until we come back for them, since Acidstorm is a dickbot about it." She takes his servo, pulling him along again, "Next up is the ninjabot planet, so you'll have to stay in the ship. I got you datapads on how to raise crystals and turbofish. I'm sure you'll have _something_ to do."

He flushes. There _is_ something he wants to ask her about, but he's going to have to wait for some privacy to do it. He sends her a quick text file, _Can I speak with you later, in private? I want to ask about something for the courtship_.

She casts a narrow-eyed look at him. "Are you going to ask something pervy?"

He looks away, a tiny blush on his faceplate, "It is about a response to a _very_ old video Ultra sent me."

She gives him a slightly confused look before her eyes widen in understanding. "_Oh_." She shudders. "Yeah, we need to get to the ship first. We'll talk there."

They step outside and he transforms so she can get in. "I'll go as fast as I can."

She gives him a flat look as she buckles up. "This _is_ about the self-service vid, right?"

He can feel his cab heat up with embarrassment, and his voice is tiny when he answers her, "Yes." Igniting his engine, he speeds towards their ship, which is luckily not too far away from them. "I don't think it's fair that he never got a proper return vid from me."

A thunk resounds in his cab when Sari's foot hits his dashboard. "Don't lie, Optimus. You're doing this for other reasons than that."

If he had fingers when he's fully transformed like this, he'd be tapping them together and blushing furiously, "Well, yes." She is about to kick him again, so he hurries on, "But I want to know if I'm _allowed_ to."

She sighs, looking up at his ceiling before nodding, "Yeah. You're allowed to, but you have to keep it impersonal, since it is _just_ showing that you can overload." She makes a face. "And because you did a lot of talking in the other one." She sticks out her tongue in disgust, "I'm going to have to be the one that sends it to him, since I'm _there_, but I won't have to watch it." He could swear that she mutters "Thank frag" under her breath, but he couldn't guarantee he didn't imagine it.

They drive in silence, and Optimus tries not to overheat at the thought of how he would be spending that evening, or perhaps one of the evenings orbiting the ninjabot planet, if he couldn't work up the courage to do it tonight.

When they get to the ship, he lets her out before telling the ship to lead him to his room. He ignores her call for checking on Perceptor, and just walks in his room. The door, unsurprisingly, beeps at him irritably, locking him in. He looks over at his berth, and all the ... toys are there. He is fairly sure he's not allowed to use any on the video to Ultra, since his mech didn't use them, either. He'd ask Sari, but just _imagining_ that conversation makes him want to find a heating blanket to hide under.

He'll just go with leaving his static glove in the box, and not touching his cables.

Every toy gets tucked carefully away and out of sight. If he's going to do this, he's going to make sure he does it right.

And that means he's doing a trial run, so he can send one off that won't convince Ultra that he isn't worth it because he's so terrible at even servicing his own spark. He wants to send him something that will rev him up as much as Ultra's video does for Optimus. He's just not sure he's attractive or skilled enough to manage it.

He looks around the room, biting his lower lip. He wonders if he should do this on the chair or on the berth. The berth implies that he wants Ultra to use his spark when they are _finally_ together - which he does, but just doesn't want to ruin the courtship - but the chair has that delicious current running through it. He runs his servo over it, only to get distracted by an angry sound of metal hitting metal. Looking around, his optics widen when he sees Aquafire slamming into the tank he'd bought the previous sol.

Sighing softly, he walks over, and looks down at the turbofish. "What can I do that will make sure you aren't going to interrupt this?"

The fish doesn't answer, and he's not really sure why he asked in the first place.

Giving the fish to another bot for the night is as good as announcing to Sari that he plans on self-servicing for his lover that evening, so it is out of the question. Perhaps he can find some way to make turbofish go to sleep?

He logs onto his console after sprinkling a few flakes of food in for Aquafire and searches for 'how to make my turbofish recharge.'

The answers he gets are rather unhelpful, as they all either insist that turbofish do not recharge ever as they have an eternal hunger for mech armor, or that turbofish only recharge when you do not watch them.

He looks over at Aquafire for a little bit before standing up, "Ship? Can I have a large cloth that will fit over the top of a turbofishtank?" The ship provides it from one of the walls, and he smiles as he takes it. "Thank you."

Moving over, he drops it on the tank, covering it entirely. He's kind of surprised to hear the sounds _stop_. He's almost tempted to lift it up and check, but common sense prevails.

He returns to debating using the chair or his berth for the video.

He finally settles on the berth, if only because he can sprawl out a bit more on it, and he doesn't have to worry about accidentally tipping it over if his self-service gets a bit ... vigorous. Not that it will with a camerabot focused on him. Slag, it's going to be even more embarrassing this time, because his _spark_ will be visible.

He lays down flat, blushing faintly, and lets his servo slowly get closer to his plates, only to stop. He doesn't even have a camera on him, and he's too embarrassed to even start. He's sure Sari will be horribly amused by this if she knew, but _he_ isn't. It is just that he's _recording_ this. What if someone other than Ultra gets it? He doesn't want that to happen. The previous video was bad enough, but this is so much... _more_.

Their courtship would be safe if video like that were to be leaked, but Optimus's pride would never be the same. Bots he'd never met before would be self-servicing to vids of Optimus doing the same thing, and he could never live with that.

But if Sari were the one to send it, as she said she would be, perhaps the video cannot be leaked?

He wants to com her, but he's worried she'll be busy with her new consort.

He taps his fingers against his armor nervously, then frowns when a thought hits him. He can ask the _ship_ if she's with Afterburner. "Ship?" There's a soft beep to show that it is paying attention, "Is Sari busy?"

The neutral voice of the ship informs him, "Affirmative."

He's about to let it go when another thought hits him, "Is she busy with Afterburner?"

"Negative. She is with Streetwise in Perceptor's room."

Oh. He supposes he shouldn't really be surprised. Not with the way Perceptor has been acting as of late. "Will she mind an interruption?"

"I cannot speculate on her emotional reaction to such an event," the ship says blandly.

He rubs his optics. "Could you inform her that I wish to speak with her, but it is not urgent?"

"Affirmative." The ship falls silent.

Less than a klik later, his console beeps at him, a rather cheerful sound. It says it is from Perceptor, but he is unsurprised when he answers and Sari is there. "Talk to me, Optimus."

He's sitting in the chair in front of the console, and he glances behind her where Streetwise is sulking on the floor, and Perceptor is sitting on the berth with a datapad looking _far_ too casual to be believed. "It's, uh..." He trails off, still looking at the two bots nervously, "about the video I talked about earlier?"

"What about it?" she asks, her patience stretched thin already. "You having second thoughts?"

He shakes his head slowly. "No. I just ... if you send it, is it possible that other bots might be able to get ahold of it? I ... can't in good conscience make it if that is a possibility."

"Gggnnngh," she grits her teeth and clenches her fists, making an incoherent noise of frustration, "you interrupted me because you're worried some other bot might see your porn vid?"

He wants to hide his face, but forces himself not to, "I told the ship to tell you it wasn't urgent."

She sighs irritably, "_Fine_." She stands up, waving a servo, "If I send it, the only way anyone but Ultra gets it is because _Ultra_ is the one that spread it around. You'll be fine." She jabs a finger at Streetwise, who is slowly getting closer to Perceptor, "Don't think I don't see you! I'll curse you so you only carry untransferable triplet femmes that kick you out of shape, fragger!"

The mech vents in frustration and sits down on the floor. "I don't fragging get why you're so upset about this. He's an amazing frag. I'm an amazing frag. Together, we sizzle. You should be off playing with your new consort. I bet his spark could do with a good fragging right now. Racecar models are always hot for it."

Optimus turns off the console before Sari can begin screaming in anger; he's not going to get in the middle of _that_.

Standing up, he asks for and recieves a camerabot from the ship. Sitting down on the berth, he inspects it carefully, testing it for any outside recording bugs. He realizes that Sari paid enough for it to be safe, but he likes checking on his own. It comes up clean, but he makes a note to erase it after he copies it to his processor.

The camerabot beeps at him curiously, and he lets it float back up. The drone is programmed to get the best angles and footage possible, and he's going to have to let it do its job, even if it makes him far more nervous than a normal stationary camera would. Hopefully, it will help hide his nervousness.

He shifts uncomfortably on the berth, and rubs the back of his head. "Okay, let's try this again. I know the first video is one that you really liked, but this one will actually _prove_ that I'm able to back up what I said."

He moves his servo to his plates, starting to touch them, but he has to put it down when the camera zooms in close. His faceplate feels incredibly hot, and he knows he must be bright red. Pushing the drone away, he wraps his arms around himself.

The drone hovers a bit further away, chirping a question-a simple drone chirp to ask if he still wants to record or if it should turn off. Optimus nods and takes a deep ventilation. "This video should prove I can back up the promises I've been making to you in our courtship." He traces the seams of his sparkplates, and he can hear the camerabot zoom in, but not as close as the previous time.

He wants to keep talking, but Sari said not to. He almost stops to go to the console to ask, but he can't imagine her _happy_ about him interrupting her again. He will let her go on yelling at Streetwise and Perceptor in peace. He's sure that Afterburner will be glad to ... calm her down when she's finished.

He takes a calming ventilation and unlocks his plates.

He's not sure he likes how oddly echoing that sounded, but it most likely isn't as loud as he imagines.

* * *

The camera pans around him, chirping a soft question when he stops moving. He holds out a servo, and it flies into it. Turning it off, he sits up, and lets his plates close. Transferring the recording into his processor, he erases it from the camera. Turning it back on, he pushes it away. "Go back to storage."

It beeps at him softly, and sets itself back in the panel in the wall it came from.

Optimus studies the recording, and finally convinces himself to play it back to check the quality. The sight of himself sprawled out like a wanton pleasurebot on the berth, painfully embarrassed, teasing his own spark to overload is almost too much for him. He nearly deletes the file, but he knows if he does, he'll never make another one.

He carefully trims the begining - to get rid of his false start - and the end - to remove the long part of him laying there trembling like he'd just been used and is waiting for another spark to ride him again.

He offlines his optics, considering how he's going to send this to Sari. He is most likely going to have to label it something like, 'For Ultra." His faceplate heats up; he should probably send it _later_. It is still very early in the solar cycle, and giving it to her now will not really help her temper. He'll wait until Afterburner convinces her that Streetwise's insistence that Percy's spark is something worth leaving a job for isn't the worst thing that could happen.

He knows Perceptor fairly well, and it's not as if the scientist is going to be willing to keep Streetwise as a personal berthwarmer. He's a painfully professional bot once you get him in a lab somewhere. Streetwise will have to take a job, and then continue chasing after the sciencebot in a more dignified fashion if his interest remains. Not to mention that the sciencebot trio is known for sharing _everything_, a set-up that has made Optimus uncomfortable a number of times. Streetwise will have to pass Red Alert and Wheeljack's inspection.

He sits up, feeling better than he did half a megacycle ago, and looks around the room. Now that he's looking, he can see the stack of datapads Sari mentioned. Heading over, he picks one up, and flips through it. When it proves on the care of turbofish, he sits in the chair to read after uncovering Aquafire's tank.

It is about a megacycle later when there's a soft knock at the door. He walks over to open the door, but it beeps at him irritably. He's fairly sure it is doing that because he drank the unrefined energon earlier, so he's not very worried. At another knock, he says, "I can't open it from this side, you're going to have to try it on your own."

There's a small pause, and the door opens reluctantly to let Perceptor in. The door beeps in question, and Perceptor gives it a flat look, "Sari informed me that this room locks in bots that are not completely healthy, but if it locks me in, I'll just call someone to let me out."

Optimus isn't sure how aware of things the AI on the ship is, so he just shrugs. "It's worth a try." He sits back down in his chair, "Was there something you needed, Perceptor?"

The sciencebot stands in front of him in silence for a klik, optics scrutinizing every inch of Optimus. "Sari claims I am acting this way to drown my inner sorrow about the twins being missing. She told me to speak with you about my feelings."

Optimus feels slightly uncomfortable at the intense look, but waves at a chair for Perceptor to sit. When the mech does, he asks, "Do you _want_ to talk to me?"

The bot gives him an unreadable look, he isn't sure if that's because Perceptor is just that way normally or if the bot genuinely doesn't want to him to read his expressions, "No."

He shrugs, "Then there's not that much I can help you with. If you don't want to talk, I can't make you."

Perceptor looks faintly annoyed, which Optimus is pretty sure that means the mech is _incredibly_ frustrated, "But I _will_ talk, I just don't want to. I am perfectly able to sort through my feelings. I just want to go to the ninjabot planet because they invited me down, but Sari told me to talk to you first."

There are generally two reasons a bot may be invited to a ninjabot planet. The most common reason is that they are a ninjabot themselves.

The less common reason is that at least three of the ninjabots planetside are interested in playing with your spark.

Optimus ... really doesn't want to imagine how many of the bots have chosen to invite Perceptor down for a visit. "Well, we've spoken now. I see no reason you can't go if you want to." Unless Perceptor is engaging in unsafe interfacing practices, there's nothing wrong with having many partners-even if Optimus gets hot with embarrassment just thinking about it.

Perceptor crosses his arms, giving him a look just short of a glare, "They also invited Streetwise down." The bot's voice seems to get _more_ monotone. "Sari is not pleased."

He rubs the back of his head, "... Yeah. I imagine not." He looks away. "Are you supposed to talk to me about that?"

The sciencebot's tone tells him absolutely nothing as he says, "I am to talk to you about my feelings."

"So... How do you feel?"

Perceptor's head tips very slightly to one side. "I feel upset with you for having lost our twins. More upset with my own processor for placing the blame on a bot that had little control over their actions, much less the actions of a femme seeker. I am also rather tired. Keeping up with Streetwise has been interesting, but has resulted already in the loss of recharging time."

He didn't want to know that last part.

He returns the focus to the twins, "If I had known, I wouldn't have let Slipstream near them, Perceptor. They would have been kept far away from her." He looks down, feeling a failure, "I ruined your trust in me when I didn't keep them safe."

Perceptor puts a servo on his shoulder, voice slightly less monotone. "You did your very best, Optimus. All the seekers focused on a bot that seemed happy to have them." Optimus opens his mouth, only to have a finger pressed to it. "Except for Starscream. You had your servos full with him, and any warning signs that my twins would be taken would have passed you by. You were dealing with his harassment, and we had reports on how _excited_ the twins were to be with Slipstream. No one had _reason_ to think she'd do this, not even Red Alert."

"It was my duty to remain alert and keep a watchful optic on those under my command. I failed in that." He cannot even promise that they'll get the twins back alive, because seekers are notoriously volatile, and if the twins do something to upset Slipstream, they might not survive it.

Unless they end up carrying for her, and that opens up an entirely new set of troubles.

Perceptor pats him softly on the back, a caring gesture even as the bot remains expressionless, "I am being logical, Optimus. If it was _me_ that Starscream had been doing that to, I very much doubt I'd have been able to be as focused as you were. I would have been under him almost instantly." The mech pauses, optics dim. "Seekers really are quite pretty, and Starscream was second in command of the Decepticons for a reason."

Flushing, Optimus shakes his head. "It's easier to deny a seeker than you think. It's hard to get out from under them when they have you pinned down in a supply closet and they keep licking you."

Perceptor stares at him again, "You ... is your spark _broken_? How could you stay closed during that?"

He looks at the floor, bright red, "He... he didn't love me. I want to be with a bot that loves me. It was _hard_, but I had to say no." He gives the sciencebot a hesitant smile, "I think I did fairly well. He got politer later on."

The mech gives him a flat look... flatter look. "He was politer later on because you were broken and it was a hollow victory if he did anything at that point." He's poked on the forehead, "Have you ever had a spark exam? Because it _is_ very likely it is broken."

Optimus croses his arms over his chest to hide his plates, "If I were broken, Sari would have told me! I am _fine_."

He's not going to let some medicbot stimulate his spark into overload just to tell him that he's fine, and maybe that he needs to balance his charge a little more frequently. Humiliation like that can go to some _other_ bot.

Perceptor is unimpressed. "I could insist that you have one. It would be unwise to let you bond with Ultra if your spark suffers some sort of damage."

He backs away from the sciencebot, "You'll have to ask Sari first. She _is_ the AllSpark High Priestess." He smiles nervously, "Officially, even. Consort and all."

Perceptor looks, if anything, even _less_ impressed. "She has _one_ consort. I can insist until she has about four or five." The mech rolls his optics, "But she'll just get upset with me if I do that. I'm not dealing with an angry High Priestess."

An angry high priestess who may choose to curse _Perceptor_ with triplet femmes. Of course, should she do that, Perceptor would likely be quite cross with her, and it would backfire - only making every bot alive want a piece of his aft even more. He tries to imagine triplet femmes with Wheeljack as co-creator and shudders with horror.

Perceptor pats him on the back. "So I guess you're safe. Lucky you." The mech looks around his room, "And I'd say I'm done talking about my feelings. Time to go tell Sari I should be allowed to go 'face all those ninjabots that sent offers." The bot starts to head to the door, only to pause, "You may have Streetwise come to talk as well. _He_ got offers, and Sari was not happy."

He can imagine how unhappy. He nods and waves a servo, "Right. You go have ... fun."

The mech smiles - a tiny thing, but Optimus is pretty sure that if it had been anyone else, it would have looked like they were in danger of the top of their head falling off - and heads out the door.

Optimus slumps back in his seat and sends his vid file to Sari, _I finished the video. I would appreciate if you sent it to Ultra for me. Thank you._ He resists the urge to add "Did you really just send Perceptor to come ask _permission_ for 'facing a gang of ninjabots?"

That would only encourage her to get revenge on him by attaching a note to his vid that says '_Optimus wants you to open this in a very public place_.'

He gets a text back from Sari, _AllSpark cleared it, said it was good you trimmed it, and I sent it. You can talk to Ultra about it when you call him tonight. I sent Grapple over to you to talk_.

He's very confused about why _Grapple_ is coming to talk to him, but there's a knock at the door. Sighing, he calls, "Come in."

The cranebot walks in with a confused look on his face, "So Sari said I needed to talk to you?"

"Yes, please sit down," he offers his amazing chair to the bot, and Grapple sinks down in it, optics dimming.

"Oh, this is nice. Just like the one in the room Sari put me in." He pauses. "When I'm not recharging in her berth, that is." He lifts his servos and is quick to add, "Just recharging, of course. I'm not interested in doing anything else with her."

Which was likely why she'd sent him over to Optimus, because she was interested in a -

No. Optimus wasn't going to speculate on what she might be getting up to with Afterburner.

"I know you're _just_ recharging with her." He looks away, "What was it she wanted you to talk to me about?"

Grapple shrugs at him, "I was just supposed to talk to you. I wasn't given a subject, and was just kind of hoping that you were told what she wanted or had asked for me yourself. Talking more about sparkbonds or something like that."

He gives the mech a confused look. "I can't think of anything I'd like to ask you right now. You could go back to your own room? I mean, you'd be fine there. Even if it's pretty close to Sari's room, I imagine it is soundproof."

"If she sent me to talk to you, she doesn't want me in that part of the ship." Grapple relaxes a bit. "My spark feels a lot better now than it used to, and I'd be happy to answer any questions you might still have."

He only really has one left, and it escapes him before he can rethink it, "Do you think Ultra will be disappointed that I am so inexperienced in the berth?"

Grapple gives him a slightly shocked look before bursting out in laughter, and he kind of wants to go hide under the berth in embarrassment. The mech calms down in a moment, and smiles at him, "No. I do not think that he will, Optimus." The mech leans forward, "He knows you're a virgin. Frag. _Anyone that's paying attention_ knows you're a virgin. If he was really disappointed about it, he'd have gone after a different bot. For all I know, that's why he wants you."

Optimus shakes his head, slightly shocked that a bot could think _that_ is why Ultra wants to bond with him. "No, he wanted me even when everyone thought I was with Starscream, and even _before_ that." He looks down with a faint blush on his cheeks, "He loves me just as much as I love him."

"Then he won't mind if you come to his berth without any experience at all." Grapple smiles kindly, "And he won't mind if you take advantage of the amnesty week to rid yourself of that innocence. Keep that in mind."

Optimus flushes, "I have no intention of ever interfacing any bot but Ultra."

Grapple nods, "I had a number of partners before Hoist, but after the bond, well, it might have been nice to share a bot with him, although I never felt anything lacking in our relationship."

He taps his fingers together nervously, "Well, that's good. I just want to be happy with Ultra."

The cranebot smiles at him, "And you will be. No one that bonds _isn't_ happy afterwards. The bond just doesn't let you get too sad when you're with your bonded." The mech puts a servo over his chest, clearly not even thinking about it, "Your spark just feels like it is singing when you think of him." The bot's smile turns slightly bittersweet, "Even now."

Optimus isn't sure how to offer comfort to a bot that has lost their bondmate. "Do you believe you will find another bot that you can love as you loved Hoist?" He was terrified, deep down in his spark, that he would offline before Ultra and leave him sparkbroken and alone. "It's more likely because you've been spending so much time around Sari. Her presence should make your spark more open to new bonds?"

Grapple shrugs, "Ain't thinking about starting a new bond so soon, kid. Maybe sometime in the future, when it doesn't hurt so much."

He looks down, nodding. "I guess." He looks away, not really sure what else to talk about.

There's the sound of datapads being moved. "You gonna raise crystals?"

Optimus's optics light up. "And take care of my turbofish." He points at Aquafire, who is floating there sedately for a turbofish, "He seems pretty happy to me."

Grapple looks at Aquafire blankly, "He's tearing up that cloth that's partially in the water."

If minor acts of violence quell Aquafire's thirst for battle, Optimus will make sure he has the opportunity to destroy small things. "He's enjoying himself." Likely imagining that he is ripping a bot to shreds, if turbofish are capable of thoughts that advanced. He'll invest in some cheap drop cloths and thin metal sheets. Perhaps he'll mold a few into vaguely bot-like shapes for his pet.

Grapple gives him an odd look, "If you say so. He looks kinda... angry to me."

He nods, "That _is_ a turbofish's default state of being."

The mech frowns. "He seemed pretty cheerful when Sari brought him to the room last night. He was trying to cuddle against her through the tank, even."

"As I said, default state of being. Sari changes things like that."

"Oh." Grapple taps the tank lightly, and the turbofish rears back, away from the shredded blanket, to smash itself against the spot on the tank that Grapple had touched. He jerks his servo away quickly, optics going wide. "Wow. They're very ... aggressive."

Nodding, Optimus walks over to sprinkle a few flakes of food into the tank. Aquafire sulks in the corner and refuses to eat them.

Grapple looks around. "Well... I think I'm going to go explore the ship. Sari told me not to let you come with if I do that unless you can open the door on your own." The bot pauses. "Wanna see if you can?"

Optimus thinks about it before shaking his head, "No. I was planning on reading more on crystal growing, since I want to see if I can grow the crystal I got from the maze."

"A wise choice," Grapple murmurs, and the doors slide open for him with a soft little sigh. Optimus isn't sure if he should be insulted or deeply troubled by the fact that the computer believes that Grapple, with his broken sparkbond, is in better spark health than he is.

The thing was obviously rigged to judge him more harshly than any other bot on the ship.

He rubs his optics in irritation, and pulls his crystal-growing datapad next to him. Settling in, he starts to read.

* * *

**Please Review**

Last chapter for awhile. We have about the entire next chapter done, but it cuts off crazy abruptly, so I don't feel comfortable posting it. Instead, I'll post another story tomorrow. I may or may not post it as a solid chunk, since it is about 20k long, and I am lazy.

Ask Vivienne how lazy I am. She is the one that puts in the italics _for_ me.

But go ahead and vote/give your opinion/whatever for the story. It is called _Leadership Is Hard_, and I want to know if I should post it in a solid chunk, or break it up. voting is only open until about 8am CST on Saturday. Because that's when I wake up and start to work on my posting.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay, sorry about the long long long wait. This really should have been out forever ago, but I am lazy, and you are all crazy sweet and nice, and really should take advantage of the fact that we love people watching us write in the typewith that is constantly linked in my livejournal. And I do mean constantly. I mean, the only reason it won't be today is because I'm not posting a snippet today. I am posting this chapter today. I will ask you not to be scared away when we show up, we are not mean and will chatter a lot. We will chatter at you. And be generally cheerful.

Also, Vivienne's computer crashed twice, and now she's on a computer that is twenty years old. It took her five minutes to just send an email. I'm going to have to edit the rest of it myself, and I don't really have the best track record of doing these things. I am slow and all that jazz. I will be doing _much_ smaller chapters than what you've been getting.

Transfomers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

It is about time to call Ultra, and he's nervously shifting in his seat. He both hopes and is horrified by that hope that his intended stare at his plates, the thought of Optimus's spark clearly on his intended's processor.

Ultra Magnus is sitting at his desk, an unreadable expression on his face when Optimus finally builds up the nerve to call him. It does nothing to calm his worry when Ultra's optics stay fixed on his face. "Optimus," his intended greets him, nodding at him. "I hope you are doing well. I was rather ... surprised by the vid you sent me."

"Oh?" Optimus asks in a small voice. Had the vid upset Ultra? Perhaps he hadn't been interested in it, or he didn't like the way Optimus's spark looked?

Ultra nods again, and his optics flicker down to Optimus' plates, "Surprised, and ... very pleased. Thank you."

His spark leaps at that, and he smiles widely, leaning forward. "I'm glad." He moves a tiny bit, kind of wishing he had put on metal flake like Acidstorm had taught him, so he could show off to his beloved. "I suppose I'm not allowed to ask you how pleased you were about it, but I will say I hope you opened it in private. Possibly in your room."

Ultra's optics dim, flickering to the berth behind Optimus, "It _did_ say to watch it while I was alone and that it was from you. I made sure I was comfortable."

He takes a chance, hoping that Sari is still in recharge and will not scold him. "I hope that when we are bonded, you will show me how you enjoyed watching it. I would like to _watch_ you."

When no angry reprimands come his way, he relaxes, dimming his optics at his intended. Ultra's optics slide over his frame, the gaze almost like a physical caress that has him shuddering with want. "I would be happy to demonstrate that for you, Optimus."

"I look forward to it, Ultra." He lets his gaze rest on his bot's plates for a long moment before bringing it back to Ultra's face. "You know what _I_ did this sol," he leans forward, "but I don't know if you did anything other than what I _know_ you did. Want to tell me what's been happening?"

Ultra smiles, and shakes his head. "Nothing is happening. It is actually quite boring." Ultra runs a finger along the com console. "Which is quite nice, since it meant I could focus on thinking about you."

"About me, or about the vid I sent you?" Optimus queries, picking up an energon cube to take a slow sip from it, letting Ultra see the flick of his glossa in the pink liquid.

"Both, of course," Ultra says, after one false start of nothing but static. He loves that he can make his mech speechless without a single touch to his frame. "I have meetings this evening, and I sorely miss you at my side. I also miss having Perceptor there to insult the delegates in that flat way of his. They never seem to understand he's dismissed their comments and moved on before they've even finished their plea."

He licks his lips clean of the energon, pleased at the rev he gets. "Well, I would love to go home soon, but Sari has other ideas entirely. " He sighs softly, running his finger along the edge of his cube, "When we're done with this three-decacycle-long tour of the various planets, I look forward to curling up in your lap and just being with you."

Ultra gives him a slightly sad look. "Being away from you for so long is absolutely sparkbreaking, Optimus, but I'm glad to know that you _will_ be returning." His mech gives a small laugh. "I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't talk to you every solar cycle like this, though."

"We've gone longer without speaking, Ultra," Optimus reminds him, sliding his fingers down his frame. Ultra's optics follow his fingers, and Optimus rubs his seams lightly. "I should have polished before calling you, but it's not as if I have anything else to do this sol. I am confined to the ship for now. The ninjabot planet does not want me to visit." He smiles, "Considering their reputation, I don't mind staying on the ship."

Ultra's optics are dim and wanting, "You could polish yourself now? I'm sure Sari won't mind as long as you avoid your plates and don't do the ... intensive polish."

Optimus shakes his head, a tiny smile on his face. "You could polish for _me_, if you want." He leans forward, elbows resting on the console, head in his servos, "You are not incredibly shiny, and you _did_ say you have a meeting. You would be the best looking bot there." His engine purrs happily. "Not that you aren't already."

"You flatter an old mech," Ultra laughs, but he picks up a polishing cloth and begins to clean his armor. "Our courtship must have affected your optics, Optimus. There are far lovelier bots, even in the council hall."

Optimus shakes his head, denying that claim. "None so handsome as you, Ultra. None of them make my ventilations stop, or my spark pulse."

Ultra pauses in the cleaning, looking at Optimus with a small smile, "Do you _really_ mean that, Optimus?"

His optics dim with blatant lust, but Optimus is too busy staring at his mech cleaning a transformation seam to be embarrassed by it. "Is there any reason I _shouldn't_ mean it? Everything about you is absolutely wonderful."

"You are too kind," Ultra murmurs, and he slides the cloth across his sparkplates, the polish making them _shine_ in the light of his room. Optimus whimpers. "Other bots might accuse you of having low standards."

Primus, he wants to _lick_ Ultra's sparkplates so much. "I ... they would be incorrect. I have very high standards."

He moves his servos so he's holding them tightly, making sure he doesn't start rubbing his own plates as Ultra works the polish in. "I suppose they could say that having your optics set on the Magnus would be high standards."

Optimus keeps from whimpering as his mech starts to work on his neck, metallic cables starting to glisten, "Then I guess they're judging by the wrong one, since I don't think of you as _t__he Magnus_, I think of you as my beloved."

Ultra drops the polishing cloth, reaching out to touch the screen. "Oh, Optimus. You make it so difficult for me not to drop everything and come find you. That berth looks like it is large enough to share, and there are no words for how strongly I wish to take you in my arms and -"

The call disconnects and Sari's image takes over on the screen. "Don't do calls like this when I'm sleeping, dickbot. The AllSpark just woke me up to let me know you were breaking the rules. You fragger."

The screen goes black, and he lets his servos go. He finches at the dents he put in his fingers without realizing, pain finally registering. He wonders if he should call Ultra back, but it is very likely Sari will yell at him again. Sighing softly, he pulls out a polishing cloth to see if he can work out the dents.

He spends a breem doing that before dropping the cloth in disgust, standing up, he requests a smoother, and pulls the one the ship provides from the wall to work out the dents. Making a face at it, he flops on the bed, and flips on the viewscreen. He'll watch some news before falling into recharge.

Though he's tried to avoid it, he can't stay away from the news channels forever, and the slag they're talking about is typical. Optimus has to admit that the image captures of him with Moonracer and her friends are particularly damning, especially the one where it _does_ look as if he is licking her claws clean like an obedient berthroom pet. No wonder Ultra had been so concerned.

He pays half attention to it as he works on his fingers. They're really far more mangled then they should ever be, and since they're such sensitive parts, he is having a little trouble fixing them. This is the sort of thing you go to a medic bot for, actually. Sighing softly, he tilts his head when he hears the voice of that bot that was so insulting on the race track. He doesn't even remember the name until he sees it written in the information bar. Ironbolt has his arms crossed and is glaring at the camera, "_Of course_ he's cheating on the Magnus. He was surrounded by all those femmes. Left the racetrack with them after I beat him in a race. He was just too humiliated by me to show his face."

"Do you have any idea why he might cheat on the most desired bot in the Universe?" the reporter mech asks, his tone a carefully sculpted blend of concern and compassion. "The Magnus has been after him for so long. It just seems unbelievable that Optimus Prime would grind that under his ped."

Ironbolt's glare deepens, "He's a slagger. And an arrogant one at that. Thought he could just waltz onto the racetrack and start racin' without even signing up on the sheet. Mechs like him make me wanna purge my tank."

He considers shutting it off when it flips to a news anchorbot saying cheerfully, "And now for an interview with one of the femmes actually out with Optimus Prime!"

He is highly surprised to see _Moonracer_ there. She's in her turbofish shop, one of her prized blue fish in a tank next to her, sitting there absolutely placidly - he wonders how she did it. The interviewer looks completely ecstatic to be able to get her on the air, "We're told you're the one that took him out on this date in the first place, Moonracer."

The racecar femme gives the mech a very amused look, "I was unaware that it was a date. Especially since the AllSpark High Priestess herself just said a little before she left about how glad she was that we took him out to be social, rather than let him sulk in his room."

The reporterbot gives her a dubious look. "So you're claiming that the Priestess encouraged you to feed Optimus Prime sweets straight from your servos?"

She laughs brightly, "Oh, sweetspark, no." She pets the reporterbot's shoulder, and the mech flushes up prettily. "That was because he's such a cute bot when he's blushing and embarrassed. Ultra Magnus is going to have a great time stealing that bot's innocence."

Optimus groans and hides his face in his servos, reaching over to turn it off. He pauses when he hears a soft shuffling of peds, and the reporter asking, "What about the accusations that he didn't even sign up to race in that track?"

Moonracer snorts, "That sign up sheet is nothing other than a way to brag about being there. No one other than Ironbolt and other bots as disgusting as him use it. He wonders why we don't like being with him when he implies that he should be fragging all of us at once."

"He doesn't sound like a very nice bot at all," the reporter says, and then revs helplessly when Moonracer puts a servo on his sparkplates.

"Not a nice bot, indeed," she purrs. "He likes to brag that Silverdancer took him to the berth once, but he likes to forget that she kicked him out of it after a half megacycle when he proved too incompetent to even lick a spark to overload."

Optimus wonders if he is watching one of the less censored channels, when he realizes what _time_ it is on that planet. They're so late at night, it is technically morning. They'll play anything they want.

Moonracer continues, pulling the reporterbot over the counter to play with his helmet vents. "Besides, Optimus is planning on sparklings with Ultra Magnus. He's assured of them if he follows the courtship." She smirks. "If I had a bot I could be sure would give _me_ sparklings, I'd follow them all the way to the end of bonding and stay there."

The reporterbot seems to forget himself, and he moans, "Oh, I ... every mech in my family has been capable of carrying after a vorn or two of trying!"

Moonracer's optic ridge lifts, and she reaches down to rub his sparkplates. "Is that so? I wonder why you're not secured in some bot's berth right now if that's true, pretty bot." She bends down, and his microphone catches her whispered words, "Would you like to see if you find my berth comfortable? Or maybe this countertop right here?"

The camera cuts away just before he can answer, and the anchorbot looks slightly nervous as he taps the datapad against the desk. "Well, there you have it. Interview with the femme that spent the previous sol with Optimus Prime." The mech's claws tighten, denting the pad. "And, uh..."

Optimus turns off the viewscreen, he's pretty sure he got enough of the information as it is. He hopes it turns out well for Moonracer and that mech, but he doubts he'll ever find out.

He sinks down on the couch, picking up a cube of expensive high grade energon. As a rule, he's not fond of high-grade, but Optimus is willing to indulge occasionally, if only to learn to handle it better. It's an expected blend for toasts and important meetings with foreign dignitaries, and he can't afford to end up overcharged from a single cube.

And after watching _that_, he needs it.

He works his way through the cube slowly, refining his earlier idea of making tiny cloth or metal facsimiles of bots for Aquafire to play with. He pulls out an old datafile on his processor that Sari gave him forever ago about origami and various paper crafts.

Ordering up various sheets of metal from the ship, he starts to make things for his turbofish to play with.

* * *

Optimus onlines the next morning surrounded by scraps of metal and dozens of tiny figurines that he's built. Some are simple folded cube dolls, or origami figures bent out of thin sheets. Others took more work; the dolls that have moving parts had to have little gear assemblies and joints installed, and one of them appears to have a half-developed transformation sequence. Of course, he's not skilled at toy building, and he'd had to give up on finishing the sequence.

His fingers are nicked and scraped, showing he didn't use any tools other than a metal cutter sitting next to him. The sound of splashing makes him turn his head, and he's kind of surprised to see that he seems to have moved Aquafire from the table he was sitting on to the table in front of the couch. The turbofish's tank bottom is littered with metal and other scraps, while Aquafire himself looks inordinately pleased as he tries to attack a simple blocky bot placed next to the tank.

Picking the toy up, he studies it, and it is clearly very crude. Most likely one of the earlier ones. He'd have put it in the tank to see how the fish reacts to it, but he already has more than an inkling what will happen. Besides, this may have been the first one he made, thus why he saved it. He isn't sure.

Optimus takes the toy away, and Aquafire thrashes angrily in the tank, ramming the glass repeatedly until he places the toy back down. His turbofish settles back into a much more sedate series of attacks, and Optimus notes that the top of his head-the place he's bashing the glass-has turned started to take on a red color, which is bleeding into the blue spot that Sari marked him with. It's resulting in a very peculiar shade of purple.

He wonders if that will lower Aquafire's life expectancy or not.

Letting it go, he looks through all the other toys he made, pushing the one that has transformation cogs absently. It gets stuck part way through, and he's not the least bit surprised.

Picking up several others, he places them around the tank so Aquafire has several more targets to focus on. He frowns at the cleared area and cautiously pulls up what he was overcharge-searching for on datapads last night.

He is amazed to see all sorts of technical information on transformation cog repair and information on how bots _work_. Reading it over, he can see what he _meant_ to do, but still has no clue _how_ to do it.

Perhaps he'll take a course in engineering and medical repair when he returns to Cybertron. He should be able to fit it into his schedule, especially if he takes an evening class.

Optimus shrinks in on himself a bit. Of course, a class like that would take away from the time he had to spend with Ultra. There's no way Ultra would be interested in taking a class _with_ him, is there?

No. It's foolish even to imagine Ultra Magnus agreeing to attend a class meant for bots seeking to continue their education, those who can't afford to simply quit their job and go back to school.

He leans against the table, looking at the toys blankly. His processor hurts, and he remembers the _wonderful_ cure that the ship provided last time he had one. Getting up, he asks for it. He drinks it before his energon, and looks around the room, wondering if he did anything other than just making toys while overcharged.

He can't find anything, and he supposes if he called Ultra, he'd be getting yelled at right now. Shrugging, he looks pulls out a random datapad to read.

If his sols are going to be like this while Sari does Primus-knows-what down on the ninjabot planet, Optimus is going to take advantage of it, and get as much relaxation as possible. He enjoys sitting and reading. It's peaceful, and the odds of being attacked or insulted while reading are extremely low.

The only threat in the room right now is an angry turbofish willing to batter himself on glass all sol long.

* * *

Sari is not very happy right now.

She can't believe she got suckered into letting Afterburner talk her into this. Her fingers hurt, things keep hitting her optics, and he is going f_ar_ too fast.

Afterburner transforms to turn a sharp corner, holding her tightly in his arms. "Isn't this fun?"

"It's like a rollercoaster without any seatbelts," she says, and the sound of her voice is mostly lost in the rush of air and Afterburner's triumphant cry as he passes the other bots.

"Eat my exhaust fumes, ninjabots!"

The ninjabot racecars-the ones that had set Sari's spark to pulsing, and she has to try so hard not to stare at them constantly-take the jibe rather well, and considering that they're doing quite nicely in terms of speed themselves, it's not surprising.

She curls up against her consort's chest, optics offline. "I'm done now, Afterburner."

The racecar gives her a confused look, but slows down. "You want to go to a different track?"

She shudders, clinging to him a little tighter, and shakes her head. "No." She feels a little ill because of the speed and how unsafe she felt. "I don't want to be carried or held when you do this. You can keep going, but I don't want to go around with you until you get seatbelts." She makes a face, feeling queasy, "Put me down."

"I ... didn't hurt you, did I?" His servos trace her frame gently, and Sari pushes them away, sitting down on the guardrail around the track.

"I'm fine. A little bit ick feeling from worrying about falling off, but fine." She pats his servo. "Get some seatbelts and I'll be happy to do something like that with you." Her mech hovers anxiously, his wheels twitching back and forth with his need to keep racing, and she shoves him back. "Go on. Do a few more laps. I'll watch from here."

He goes reluctantly, but when he's far enough away, jams up the speed. When he gets near her again on the track, he slows down to look at her before speeding up again. When that happens about three times, she goes from amused to annoyed, and walks off the track. He'll find her easily enough.

It is _incredibly_ difficult not to stare at the various racecar bots hanging around. She isn't sure if she should be relieved or disappointed that they're all avoiding her. The only bots coming near her are the various motorcycles or normal cars.

Even if she wants to find out what they are like in the berth, it isn't like she's going to. Not when she's unsure if she can stop herself from marking them up with blue consort paint, and she knows ninjabots hate bonds.

Perceptor is off somewhere, probably getting his spark fragged by whatever bots want a shot at it.

She shudders and pulls out a juice box from her modified jet backpack. It's better than trying to convince herself that keeping food in subspace isn't extremely weird and gross.

She sticks the straw in, and a cyclebot that shares Prowl's model type drops into a seat next to her. "How do you like it here, Priestess?"

She's given up on telling the bots here on calling her Sari already. They just agree and call her Priestess anyway. More than a little frustrating, really. "I like it fine. Afterburner is enjoying himself."

The mech nods serenely. "Would you like someone to bring you something to eat?"

"Nah. I'm good." She waves the juice box at him. "I mean, if you've got some energon laying around, I'm sure Afterburner wouldn't mind some. Racing always made Bee really hungry." She sips on the juice, and the mech watches her. When he just continues to stare, she stares back at him. "Did _you_ want something? Maybe a blessing?"

The bot gives her a respectfully blank look. "We were informed not to ask for blessings, Priestess."

She rolls her eyes, "Because all the other priestesses demanded consorts after giving them, right?" She ignores his nod, "I don't need more consorts. Afterburner was an accident. I adore him now, but it was an _accident_." She takes a gulp of the juice, giving the bot a flat look. "What do you want?"

The bot's expression doesn't change. "I would like to ask for a sparkling, Priestess."

The AllSpark whispers soft blessings and information to her that she ignores. "Who's the bot you want to have it with?"

The mech looks away, "I... I don't _have_ one, priestess. I just want a sparkling."

"Alright." She touches his shoulder, feeling heat tingle through her palm. "There. You're blessed. The next bot you 'face with your anti-sparkling protocols down for both of you, you'll end up having a sparkling with. Be a good creator." She slips further away from the track, wanting to get away from all of the bots who keep looking at her like she's going to snap them up and eat them, or force-bond them to each other.

She's joined by Afterburner almost immediately, and he sweeps her up into his arms, nuzzling her lovingly. "Are you bored? I can stop racing if you're bored."

She sighs, pressing a small kiss to his lips, "I told you that if you want to race you can. I'm never going to tell you not to even if I'm bored."

He shakes his head. "I'm fine, I can leave."

The AllSpark whispers to her to punish him for lying, and she mentally shoves it away. "Go on the track and race. I know you love it, and you haven't been able to stretch your wheels."

Afterburner steals another kiss that leaves her lips tingling, and Sari watches his aft as he races back to the track, dodging several ninjabots on the way. She pulls up the city map she's been given on the datapad and tries to find someplace she can pick up souvenirs. Maybe Prowl will appreciate one: maybe a collar and leash to put on Lockdown.

She's approached by another cyclebot, this one with a racecar hiding behind him. She doesn't even need to look up from the map to know they're there. "Want a sparkling, right?"

There's a soft whispered conversation, and the cyclebot says, "Yes, priestess. He'd like one, but the bot he wants to have it with is _also_ a racecar. He's... kind of worried you may mark him as a consort." The bot seems to think he's offended her because the next bit is slightly hurried. "I don't think you will, though, but you _have_ been avoiding the racecars. It doesn't speak well of your confidence in this situation."

She scowls at him. "I can control myself. Afterburner was an accident, and I know how to stop that from happening again." At least, she thinks she does. No promises, but she's pretty sure she can stop herself if the AllSpark tries it again.

Waving her servos, she lets the AllSpark's power flow through her, and there's not even a single surge of bonding energy, which is fantastic. The bots both look at her hopefully, and she nods, "You've been blessed." She stares at them for a second, and curses. "You too, cyclebot. Slag. I need to tone down the energy on that next time."

The bot looks at his chest in confusion, "Will ... Will I have one the next time I 'face _any_ bot?"

She snorts, leaning on the guardrail and sipping her juice. "Don't be ridiculous. When you and the other bot have your protocols down. I'm not going to have you just find a random bot to raise a sparkling together." She waves a servo absently, "There's no time limit, either. Take your time and don't worry about it." She vaguely considers recommending him to the previous cyclebot, but if they find each other, all the better for them.

She wanders away from them while they're all stunned and _not_ thanking her on their knees like some bots do. Slag, it's boring doing this all the time.

Maybe she could make some temple thing, or an altar for them to pray to the AllSpark for sparklings. When she queries the AllSpark about it, and it reluctantly informs her that she can make them, but it will drain most of her energy for a decacycle or two, basically knocking her into recharge until her energy goes back up again. She'll have to think about whether it's worth it.

It quietly says that if she had more consorts, she'll only be out for a single solar cycle. When she prods it for information on how _many_, it reluctantly tells her about five. She gives it a _very_ dirty look, but it helpfully tells her that the previous priestesses took a stellar cycle or more to recover from blessing a temple, and so never did it at all.

She reluctantly adds 'get more consorts' on her to do list of things after finishing touring the planets.

If she's expected to do anything except interface all fragging day long, Sari isn't sure how she's supposed to deal with having that many lovers at once. She can't even think of four or five other bots she would be willing to spend her life with. The consort thing is kinda permanent, after all.

She sighs, tapping her fingers against her armor, trying to figure out what to do, when she's pulled into Afterburner's arms again. Her bot covers her in kisses, and nuzzles against her sparkplates. "I want you to rub your spark on me when I'm in vehicle mode so they stop harassing you."

She lets out a soft bark of laughter, "They aren't _harassing_ me. I'm blessing them." She ignores as the AllSpark whispers about filling Afterburner up with sparklings, "That's what I _do_."

Afterburner traces a claw up her thigh, playing with her metal skirt. "I've got these nifty blue marks on me that proclaim that I'm off-limits to other bots. I think you should have some kind of mark from me so other bots know you're off-limits too."

She moves and pulls his servo to her face. Nuzzling it, she kisses his palm, "AllSpark keeps telling me I should punish you so you know your place, you know. Tell you I'm _not_ off-limits, tell you how horrible you are for liking seekers, things like that." She runs a finger along her mech's servo, lighting up his consort paint, "I think I'll just remind you that I adore you, and that if you _really_ don't want to share me with one of these bots, you have nothing to fear." Her spark pulses happily as his optics flicker and dim in the tell-tale sign of arousal, "I'll use your spark when we return to the hotel."

His fingers wrap around her frame, "We _are_ on a ninjabot planet. They would not mind if we were to 'face in public." He bends down to lick her neck with his glossa, nibbling gently on the cabling there. "You could bend me over and use me right here if you want."

Her spark flashes with heat, and it's really tempting to do just that. "I'd rather have a berth for you to fall into recharge on, because I'm going to use you so hard you'll be offlining."

He revs against her, "But I have energon in my subspace. You can force me online again and have me drink it. I can get 'faced right against the wall."

_So tempting_, but she shakes her head, no. She kisses his adorable floppy bunny ear headfins, "You go race. I want to watch you get all hot, and then we'll see how long you keep it up."

His optics dim, and then light up so brightly they're like bright red coals, and he darts onto the track, "Going to get _so_ hot for you," he shouts over his shoulder, and a few ninjabots turn to look at the both of them.

Sari resists the urge to cover her face with her palm. Mechs were like teenaged boys sometimes. It was ridiculous.

He's on his second lap when a femme drops next to her. The carbot is really quite pretty, all smooth curves and elegance, but Sari is pretty apathetic to it. She's _just_ a carbot. Not a racecar at all. The femme leans down next to her, "Priestess?"

She snaps her fingers at her without even looking, "You're blessed. Congrats."

The femme blinks in surprise, "Priestess? I wan-"

She snaps her fingers again, slightly annoyed, "Triplets. Bam."

The carbot puts a servo over her sparkchamber, looking at it in reverence, "Th-thank you, Priestess, but that's not what I wa-"

She puts a servo on the femme, shoving out some of the AllSpark energy, "Triple-changers if you 'face a bot that isn't a car. Go away."

The femme falls silent, and then says softly, "Thank you. I just wanted to compliment you on your choice of a mech. Afterburner is very enthusiastic and clearly happy to be with you. Nothing at all like the way some consorts are, especially so soon after they've been claimed."

Sari raises a servo, "Do you want me to bless you some more? I'm trying to enjoy watching Afterburner race."

The femme nods and disappears, holding her servo close to her spark chamber. AllSpark whispers to her about how she's gone to find one of her favorite lovers, and they'll be having tank-car triple-changers. Sari tells the AllSpark to _shut up_.

Is it _really_ so hard to just let her watch Afterburner race?

The next bot that sits next to her gets a _very_ angry look, "If you interrupt me, I am going to bless you so badly, you will think it's a curse."

The mech freezes in place, falling perfectly silent and still. She crosses her arms over her chest and watches Afterburner rub his side against another racecar, teasing the bot into driving faster. Her spark heats, imagining him rubbing another bot like that in the berth, trapped there by cuffs on his wrists. Sari takes a determined sip of her juice and tries to get her systems to cool back down.

She snaps her fingers at the bot next to her, "There, you're blessed. Now stay sitting there no more bots harass me. If you're successful, I'll upgrade it from a mech to either a femme or twin mechs." She doesn't mention that his current sparkling is going to be sparkblue that glows faintly in low light or dark.

The AllSpark primly informs her that _every_ sparkling she helps create will be marked with blue paint, though Sari can influence the _amount_ of it on any specific bot. She wonders if she should mention to Optimus what the AllSpark plans on making his sparklings look like.

Nah.

She wants him to be surprised.

Afterburner comes to her a klik later, engine revving, and sweeping her into his arms, "Are you going to use me against the wall now?"

She kisses him softly, "In a bit." Looking down at the tankbot, she asks, "Twins or femme?"

The bot looks conflicted, clearly still debating. "I don't kno-"

She makes a buzzing noise, and snaps her fingers, "Too late! You now have twin femmes! They will be triple-changers if you 'face a jet!" She giggles, "Because jet-tanks amuse the fuck out of me. Triple-changers for _every_ jet and tank couple!"

Afterburner carries her away from the stunned bot, giving her a concerned look, "Are you alright, Sari? Are your fuel levels low?" He prods the juicebox she's holding. "This is inadequate fuel for you, especially if you're blessing bots. You need energon."

"Energon," she carefully enunciates each word, "is slagging disgusting."

He reaches into her subspace, making her giggle and squeak from how ticklish it is, and pulls out a single piece of candy. "I know you think _this_ is okay."

She pushes it away, "_No_." He puts it to her mouth and she glares at him, "I don't _want_ to eat Oil Slick's energon candy. I don't need any slaggin' energon."

Afterburner narrows his optics, and then a smile spreads across his face. He pops the candy into his own mouth, and before she can protest him eating it without permission, he bends over her and claims her mouth in a kiss, glossa delving inside.

Her fans kick on and she digs her fingers into his seams. When he pulls back, she realizes the energon sweet is on her glossa, melting in her mouth, and she's been tricked into eating it. She glares at him and tries to convince herself that it wasn't a brilliant trick. "Fragger," she mutters around the candy.

He smirks at her, and gives her a tiny kiss, mouth firmly closed so she can't shove it back. "You needed the energon." He runs gentle claws along her frame. "Are you feeling better?"

She shrugs, "I guess? I don't really feel any different, truthfully." She runs her fingers along his sparkplates, optics dim, "I'm going to play with your spark when we get back to the hotel."

He revs loudly, "You could _right now_, you know."

She hums softly, "Only if you don't want to see my spark. If I play with your spark _here_, only you are going to be open. If we go to the hotel, I'll be open the instant we step into the room."

Perhaps that had been a bit _too much_ encouragement for her lover, because he's transformed into partial vehicle mode the second she tells him that. He secures her in his untransformed arm, holding her in a half-mimic of how a seatbelt would hold her in place, and he's hurtling through the streets, shouting warnings to other bots to get out of his way.

Sari is oddly amused by it all.

When they get to the hotel - she's always slightly surprised to see a lack of parking lots - Afterburner returns to botmode, and rushes through the lobby. There's the _barest_ of stops at the elevators, only to get rushed past to get on the stairs. Her bot is _much_ faster than an elevator, anyway.

* * *

The AllSpark sends her images of Afterburner's spark with sparklings curled up around it, happy and content. She is _horribly_ tempted, actually. She'd never thought she'd want to, but the imaginary sparklings look so _happy_. Shaking her head, she pushes the AllSpark away. She'll wait until she's been with him long enough to actually fall in love with him, not this forced happy feeling that the bond gave them.

Not to mention that she's still way too young to be interested in having kids. Pushy fragging AllSpark. Sure, the sparklings would look adorable on his spark-she might be willing to concede that, but those sparklings would come out of his chamber eventually. And she'd have kids to raise.

Bleh.

No kids for Sari. Not until she wasn't so overwhelmed by Cybertron culture. And the more the AllSpark pushed, the more determined she was to ignore it.

She curls up against her consort, reaching into his subspace to pull out cushions and blankets. She transforms back from botmode, and falls asleep.

* * *

**Please Review**

Telling you so you know, since some people don't read the notes on top. The person that normally italicized this, Vivienne, isn't anymore. You know how this was updating everyday and had gigantic chapters then suddenly stopped? That was because she ran out of text from me and Tash. Then her computer crashed. Then... it crashed again. And now she's on a twenty year old computer. Now you get to deal with my flakey updating. Which you have been.

Sorry D:


	12. Chapter 12

My friend Sezza is helping me edit the italics into some of the stories now, so there should be less lag in updates. He is cool like that. I'm going to be working on doing italics, too, so don't worry about that, either. I may recruit some other friends to help if they want to, so who knows. PUT THEIR LOVE OF READING OUR FIC TO USE. I mean, they have ffdotnet accounts. Why not docx it to me, right? Right.

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

Optimus stares down at the container he put the crystal growing solution in, and frowns at it. It continues to sit there and do nothing. He reads the datapad again, and it continues to tell him that it is now supposed to turn blue. Looking down at the crystal, it stays stubbornly white. "I think you're defective."

Perhaps Ultra would know why his crystals were refusing to react properly. It gave him an excuse to contact his beloved.

Pushing his failure off to one side, he settles down in front of the console, keying in Ultra's frequency, hoping to reach him. After a klik of waiting, and a generic recording machine message, Optimus admits his love must be at work still. "Call me when you get the chance, Ultra. I miss you."

He turns back to his crystal failure, prodding the liquid gently. He wonders if it is supposed to be so very hot.

There's a soft knock at the door, and he raises an optic ridge. "Come in?"

The door opens gently and Thrust sticks his head in. "Optimus?"

He smiles over his shoulder. "Did you need something?"

The cyclebot walks in cautiously, looking around for a place to sit that isn't covered in crystals or metal sheets. "Kinda? The Priestess isn't answering my com calls."

"She's probably ... busy." Optimus refuses to think with what. "Can I help you instead?"

The mech pushes a few bits of debris aside and settles down on the floor. "Cyclonus wants to bond with me, but I'm not really sure he understands what it means. Or that it's, you know, kinda permanent."

Optimus blinks at the cyclebot in shock, pushing the container with the crystal away. "... really?"

Thrust looks up at him with a worried expression on his faceplate, "Yes, sir."

He sighs, reaching down to pull the mech up, "Just Optimus. So he wants to bond with you?" The bot bites his lower lip and nods, so he continues, "What do _you_ want to do?"

"I like him, sir, but," he trails off, staring down at his peds, "I've only known him a few sols. I shouldn't be trying to bond with him. And he shouldn't be messing with his sparkling protocols." Thrust frowns, "I keep having to upload them in his processor again."

Optimus joins him in the worried expression. "That's not good. Is he trying to _trap_ you into staying with him?"

Thrust taps nervous fingers together, shuffling peds, "I... I think he just _really_ likes me. Enough to want sparklings?"

"A bot that really likes you does not try to force sparklings on you, and does not pressure you into having them, or agreeing to have them." Optimus rests a servo on his shoulder. "We'll work this out. If nothing else, we can have Cyclonus's sparkling protocols locked on. He really isn't capable of caring for sparklings on his own."

Thrust whimpers sadly, "I want sparklings."

Optimus rubs his optics, trying to get rid of an incoming processor ache. "Do you want them with _Cyclonus_?"

The cyclebot shrugs, looking down. "I don't _know_. I really like him, but I ..." The bot trails off, looking uncomfortable.

He sighs looking down at the smaller mech. "You don't want them _now_, not when you've only just gotten off your home planet."

Thrust shuffles his peds and nods. "Yeah. It's a little overwhelming, and I mean, Cyclonus is living with the AllSpark Priestess. We can't just have kids like that. Not without her permission."

The idea of Thrust asking Sari for permission to be impregnated by Cyclonus makes Optimus's processor ache painfully. "You really shouldn't ask her that. Ever."

Thrust looks sparkbroken. "... really? Sh-she won't _want_ me to have sparklings?"

He feels terrible now, and shakes his head. "I'm sure she does." He pats the cyclebot cautiously, "But I don't think she'll take well to being asked right now."

"She's the High Priestess." Thrust narrows his optics at Optimus. "She's the best bot to talk to about sparklings." He stands up a little taller at that, only to shrink back down, "But I still don't want sparklings yet. It's too soon, and Cyclonus-"

He's cut off by an explosion that knocks both of them off their peds, rocking the entire ship with its force. Optimus worries they're being attacked until his processor notifies him that the blast had come from directly where he'd placed his crystal.

Looking at the damage to his room, most of it completely obliterated, he's slightly amazed how undamaged he is. He _is_ hurt, no mistake, his servo is missing entirely, but he's amazed that's all that's wrong. Looking over at Thrust, he gasps at how damaged the _cyclebot_ is.

The poor bot's wheels are broken off, and his back is pretty mangled. Picking the smaller mech up, he knows his door won't let him through, so he walks through the hole in his wall. "Ship, where is the medical bay?" He pauses. "... do we even _have_ an on board medic?"

"The medical bay and medical drone are two halls to your left and one level down," the ship intones. "If your damage is more serious, it is recommended that you visit the nearby planet and see an actual medic."

He's certain a drone isn't going to be able to repair Thrust, so he opens a comlink to the planet's nearest hospital. "I have an injured bot with me, and I will be bringing him down for treatment." He gets assurances that they won't shoot his shuttle down, and he opens a much less pleasant comlink to Cyclonus. "There has been an accident and Thrust has suffered damage. Do you want to come to the planet with us for treatment?"

There's a surprised grunt, and Cyclonus sounds incredibly dangerous as he asks, "Did you hurt him?"

Optimus supposes he could say yes, since it _was_ his crystal, but he decides to go with the less suicidal answer, "A crystal exploded. He was damaged more than I was, and I just thought that you would want to be with him."

There's an upset and wordless growl, then the jet bot asks, "Where are you?"

"I'm heading to the shuttles. You can meet me there. I'm going to call Grapple next." He suddenly realizes he's talking to the air, because Cyclonus cut the com the moment he said where he was going. Sighing, he coms Grapple. "We have an injured bot, you want to come with us to the planet?"

"Injured? Who got injured?" the bot asks, and his com gets cut off as Grapple appears in the hallway. Optimus blinks, and then continues towards the shuttle bay. Grapple must have been very close by. "Oh, Primus. Is Thrust online?"

Optimus shakes his head, "He was knocked offline. I'm hoping he stays that way until we get him to the hospital and sedated. I doubt he has much experience with pain like this."

The cranebot nods, "He was raised to be a pretty berth bot. I can't imagine him being able to tolerate it."

He nods, shifting the mech slightly in his arms, "I'll most likely repair myself on my own. I think I have a spare servo in my sub..." He trails off, frowning, "Sari emptied my subspace before we left, and I don't have any replacement parts. I hate going to a hospital for repairs."

They were always so adamant that his ability to tolerate pain and continue to function was some kind of terrible glitch. Optimus was fully aware of how much it hurt to be missing his servo-but he wasn't going to let it impair his ability to think, or fight. He would have never been able to defeat Megatron if he hadn't been able to ignore his own injuries.

It hurts far less at the moment than it otherwise would due to his systems adpating and his pain receptors settling down. Without Ratchet's little adjustment, the lost servo hurts several times less even when it is at its worst.

Grapple gives him a horrified look, "And you're carrying him with a missing servo?"

He shrugs, "I'm perfectly fine. I'll deal with it when we're down on the planet. Thrust is injured far more severely than I a-"

There's a sound of rushing air that can only be a bot in flight. The second strand of lights that come rushing down the hallway just prove his thought, and Cyclonus only just barely manages to not hit them. The cyclebot is yanked out of his arms, and he's hissed at angrily while the larger mech runs worried servos all over the bot.

Cyclonus narrows his optics, studying the damage on the cyclebot's frame. "Are you certain you did not cause this damage?" He makes a soft noise when he finds Thrust's tires missing. "We must repair him."

Optimus carefully herds the jet into the shuttle bay. "We will take him to a medic who can fully repair him. He'll be good as new, and all you have to do is let them work on him."

Cyclonus growls low in his processor, but doesn't argue. Optimus starts to head to the console, but Grapple shoves him in a chair. "Sit _down_, you glitch. If you're injured, I'm not letting you fly this thing." The bot glares at him and then Cyclonus, "_I_ shouldn't be flying this thing, but our only uninjured bot is next to useless to us right now."

The jetbot growls dangerously, and Thrust makes a tiny hurt noise while still offline; Grapple and Optimus suddenly become the least interesting bots in the entire universe to the jet.

Cyclonus pets Thrust's uninjured places, and something like unhappiness passes over his face. "I don't know how to fix him. I never paid attention when they were teaching me maintenance." Thrust makes another little noise and Cyclonus clutches him closer, shielding his damage with his servos. "I don't like those noises."

Optimus rests a careful servo on Cyclonus's shoulder, withdrawing it quickly when the bot hisses at him. "It will be alright. It's still minor damage. Nothing structural appears to be broken, so it looks worse than it really is."

Cyclonus hisses at him wordlessly, and Optimus sighs. Walking away, he sits back down, and looks out the little window in the shuttle. He's glad the system is mostly automated so that an injured bot _can_ drive it, but he is pretty bored with nothing to do. Normally he's filling out a report on how he got damaged, but there's no reason to here. He's just... on vacation.

A vacation where he was stuck on the ship and trying to avoid thinking about ninjabots.

So much for _that_ plan.

Thrust is still blessedly offline when they hit the planet, docking the shuttle in the emergency port attached to the hospital.

Medicbots are waiting for them, and they immediately take Thrust – or try to, as Cyclonus hisses and curls around him protectively. Optimus has to intervene, promising Cyclonus that Thrust won't be injured by the medics. "He has to get treatment, and they can't repair him if you're holding him. Let go."

The jetbot still looks horribly indecisive, but good sense wins out and Thrust is handed over. When the mech tries to follow, they gently push him away, "Are you bonded?"

Optimus keeps from groaning, this isn't good. He walks over, "They aren't, but they are thi-"

He's cut off by one of the medics spotting his servo, or lack thereof. "You need medical attention, too!"

He's shoved off to a different room before he can finish telling them that Cyclonus wants to bond, not that it will really help the staff with letting the mech in to see Thrust any time soon.

"I'm fine, really, I've had far worse-" he's cut off by a medic taking one of his exposed energon lines and injecting a sedative in it.

Optimus blinks as his entire arm falls numb, and his processor fogs up a bit. He hates medical sedatives, even if they wear off quickly. "You're not fine. You are missing a _servo_," the medicbot informs him, as if Optimus is so daft he doesn't realize he's had his servo blown off. The fog in his processor passes, and he blinks again as he watches the medic pull up his schematics on a datapad and order a replacement servo from the supply storage in the hospital. "You're lucky that we have some in your size."

He blinks at the mech. "I was going to make a replacement."

The bot gives him a flat look, "No. You're not." The bot grabs his arm, and starts to clean off the soot and other damaged bits for clean connection. "You have one servo, and unless you're left servo dominant, then you'd have an even harder time."

He gives the bot a dirty look, but doesn't argue that. Instead, he asks, "How long will Thrust be here?"

The mech shrugs, "That's your cyclebot friend?" He nods, about to explain they aren't really friends, but the medic keeps talking. "I wouldn't know. I don't work on cyclebots here, and he looked kinda damaged. The bot is going to be able to visit in normal visiting hours since he's not bonded."

"Cyclonus is not going to be happy about that." Optimus's processor starts to ache fiercely, and he rubs his optics with his functional servo. "If you don't want the door to Thrusts's room broken down, it would be wisest to let Cyclonus have access to him. He intends to bond with him eventually."

Snorting, the medic tugs out a bundle of broken wires. "Kid, if we let every bot in who claimed that they were 'about' to get bonded, we'd never see the end of them. If he's not family, he's not allowed in."

His processor really hurts now. "Thrust was only in my room because he wanted to ask my advice on how to deal with Cyclonus continually wanting to bond with him."

The medic finishes up working on his arm. "That's nice. They still aren't bonded, so no go."

The medic starts to head out, and Optimus asks, "Do you know if...," he hates using her title, "High Priestess Sari is available to talk? She hasn't been answering coms."

"The High Priestess is very busy with blessings and entertaining her consort," the ninjabot medic says, lips quirked into a little smile. "If you cannot reach her, then she is still busy. I hear the resort they placed her in has a cluster of red cora in the garden. I'm sure she's enjoying that."

Optimus shudders at the thought. "I ... see."

The medic slips out of the room, a smirk on his faceplates.

He keeps from making a face at the door, and tries to com Sari. It doesn't get through, and he thinks she may have blocked him. He's not sure if he should be glad that he won't accidentally com her when she's ... with Afterburner, or irritated because he _can't_ contact her in an _emergency_.

Optimus slips off the medical berth. He has no intention of waiting there for the megacycle or two it will take them to find the spare servo in storage and bring it up. And it's very likely he needs to prevent Cyclonus from attempting to wreak havoc on the medicbots for denying him access to the only bot he's ever shown interest in.

He follows the sound of yelling, and makes it to the waiting area where Cyclonous is holding a medic against a wall and hissing angrily. Sighing, Optimus waves an arm, "Put him _down_, Cyclonus. Doing this just shows that you're a Decepticon and dangerous. Do you remember why Sari even has you?"

The bot gives him a very dirty look. "I want Thrust."

He nods, "And if you do _this_, it means you'll never get him. Put the bot down, and be glad they aren't attacking. I imagine they only aren't because you were on a team with Oil Slick and because Sari technically owns you."

It's only the ninjabot's skills that keep him from landing on his skidplate when Cyclonus abruptly drops him. The medic slips out of reach, and Cyclonus turns frustrated optics on Optimus. "They won't let me see him." Those optics turn calculated. "I will make him bond with me when he is repaired. Then I can keep him safe."

Optimus rubs his optics in irritation. "No. You can not force a bond. That is the antithesis of the point of a bond. It is about choice. Forcing it is a terrible idea."

Cyclonus looks like he's just on the edge of attacking. "He is mine."

Optimus raises an optical ridge. "Is that all Thrust is to you? He's just _yours_? No love?" His tone turns scolding, "You need to think about how _he_ feels. He does like you, quite a bit, but you're pushing far too fast."

"He is mine," Cyclonus repeats, optics narrowing. "He will do what I tell him to do."

It occurs to him that Cyclonus likely does not even understand what love is, let alone whether or not he is in love. His teammates would not prove as good examples. Even if Strika clearly loved Lugnut, and Oil Slick had feelings for Blitzwing, their relationships did not begin that way, and to a Decepticon, claiming comes before emotion.

He decides to take a different tack. "Lugnut and Strika aren't bonded, and they've been together for a very long time."

Cyclonus snorts, "Thrust is mine, and if bonding means I get to stay close to him, then he will bond with me."

"You've only known him a short time." Optimus is attempting to be reasonable, and Cyclonus gives him a look that seems to indicate that he believes Optimus is extremely dim-witted. "You shouldn't bond with a bot you barely know." When that fails to impress the bot, Optimus changes tack yet again, "You have an unhealthy spark still. If you tried to bond now, it would likely fail."

The mech pauses at that, then moves over to sit on the floor next to him. "Explain."

Optimus is pulled into the jetbot's lap, and he keeps from sounding irritated only through long practice. "Your spark is unhealthy. That will make it incredibly difficult to pull up the protocols for it, and since you haven't 'faced for very long, your sparks may reject each other."

Cyclonus gives him a very searching and dirty look, "_You_ will be bonding with Ultra without ever 'facing him, and your door constantly declares you unhealthy. I should be able to bond with Thrust right away."

He rubs his optics, wishing he had a processor-ache cure. "We're going to be blessed by the AllSpark and we're going through a courting. It's entirely different."

"It is not," Cyclonus insists, claws pressing in on his sparkplates. "Let me see your spark. I am sure my own is just as healthy."

Optimus pushes his servos away, tanks churning a bit. He truly hates being held by large, winged bots. "Stop that. If your door was programmed the way mine was, it would _never_ let you leave your quarters. Not even for a single klik this entire vacation."

Cyclonus looks like he's about to try prying him open again, only to freeze and tilt his head. The mech puts a servo to his temple, "_No_. I just want to see him prove his spark isn't as bad as mine." The bot scowls, "Because Thrust is in a hospital, and _you_ won't answer your coms."

He frees himself from Cyclonus's lap, brushing himself off carefully. "You should inform Sari of our location. I believe we are not far from her hotel."

Instead of listening, Cyclonus continues to frown, claws pressed to his temple. "Thrust refuses to bond with me. The medicbots refuse to let me see him without a bond. Now Optimus says I am not healthy enough to bond. Decepticons did not bother with this nonsense."

He can imagine her irritated sigh.

Turning away from the one sided arguing, he is accosted by a medic. "You! What are you doing? You should be in the room we put you in!"

He dodges the mech's grab for him, glad of the training with Prowl. "I'm fine. I can help keep Cyclonus and Grapple company."

However, training with a ninjabot is no match for actually _being_ a ninjabot, and he's eventually captured. "You are still missing a servo, Prime. Now stop acting like a sparkling and let us fix you." He's dragged away from the bots, Grapple mouthing a promise that he'll keep Cyclonus under control until Sari arrives.

Optimus highly doubts that.

* * *

About a megacycle later, he's still in the room, and very happy that he had datapads in his subspace.

When Sari bursts into the door, he doesn't even look up, having expected this to happen the entire time. "Optimus, what the frag happened? Thrust is still offline, and they're dealing with him a little better now, but they say he's going to be here for five days."

"Half a decacycle," he corrects absently. "One of the crystals I was dealing with exploded, he was closer to it than I was."

"You made a crystal explode," Sari says flatly. "Was it one of the crystals from that 'learn to grow' kit designed for fragging sparklings?"

To his eternal embarrassment, it was, but he feels no need to mention that to Sari. "It doesn't matter. The point remains that a defective crystal exploded and damaged the both of us. The medics insist I need treatment too, even though my only damage was a bit of denting and a missing servo."

She smacks him on the head. "Missing a servo is a _very_ good reason to be in the hospital, you idiot." She rubs her temples. "I was planning on leaving tomorrow, but the only way to do _that_ is by letting the AllSpark heal him."

Optimus perks up, that will make it much easier. Sari seems to know what he's thinking and shakes her head, "Might accidently mark him. My energy is all over the place, and I don't want a _cyclebot_. After I get more consorts, I will be able to heal easier, but I'm not going to do that _now_."

Not to mention that if she marked Thrust, Cyclonus would demand to be marked in turn so he could stay with his precious cyclebot, and then Sari would be condemned to two consorts she has no interest in. "I understand. I hope you don't object to a bit longer stay."

Sari glances over her shoulder where Afterburner is hovering in the doorway, watching Optimus with distrustful optics. "I don't mind staying. The hotel is really nice."

He shudders at that thought. "That's fine. I'll just go back to the ship when I get my servo replaced. Take Cyclonus and Grapple with me."

She sighs, shaking her head, "Cyclonus will try to escape to get back to Thrust. He's also _really_ not allowed in the room, not unless it's visiting hours."

Optimus blinks in confusion, "Even with you saying he can?"

She makes a face, "No. He _really_ can't. This is a ninjabot planet, and they don't let nonfamily bots in. If they had a sparkling or something, they'd let them."

"That's a very unpleasant rule for them to maintain." Optimus wishes they would come and replace his servo faster. At this point, he's expecting that servo to come to him in perfect matching condition. There's no other reason for them to have taken paint chips from his functional servo if they weren't being afts about it and wanting it to look _pretty_.

She rubs her optics, "Hell, the only reason _I'm_ allowed in is that priestesses can heal. The fact that I'm not healing him is immaterial; I could at a later time, and they don't want to piss me off."

He sighs softly, "Are you sure they can't just place the angry Decepticon on the floor at the foot of the medical berth?"

"And risk him 'facing Thrust and causing him all sorts of damage from overworking his frame before it's fully healed? Yeah, they're not going to do that, Optimus." Sari pats his head. "I'm going to go check on them, and you're going to stay here like a good bot and let them give you a new servo. If they want you to stay overnight for observation, you'll stay overnight. Got it?"

His optics narrow. "I would rather not have my evening chat with Ultra from a medical berth, Sari."

She smiles. "That's nice. You'll still do it if they tell you to."

"_Sari_, I'm n-"

She slams the door, and Optimus is not the least bit happy. He isn't even in a room with an actual berth. This is just a private waiting room, and he's been sitting on an exam table the entire time. He's not the least bit happy.

It is another megacycle later that a medicbot comes in, "We have your servo ready. It took a really long time to find one in your size. Someone had mislabeled the sizes, and it wasn't easy to get a matching shade of paint. You're kind of faded, and we had to custom blend the colors."

He gives the bot a flat look. "I could have easily gone with the wrong color. I would have happily left the moment you found the replacement."

The bot just stares at him for a klik, and then shakes his head slowly. "No, Optimus Prime, sir. We're not having you leave our hospital with a mismatched servo. Do you have any idea what that would do to our reputation? Even if you don't mind it, we'll lose business."

Optimus holds out his damaged wrist. "We could argue about this all evening, or you could fix me." He narrows his optics. "I do not intend to be here all night."

The mech shakes his head. "You're staying the night for observation."

He looks at the medic, and stands up. "I see."

The bot gives him a slightly confused look, "I'll have an intern show you your room."

He nods, and watches as the mech leave. Counting slowly to ten, Optimus walks out of the room, and heads to the exit. He's not going to be spending the night, no matter _what_ Sari told him to do.

He has to duck into a few shaded hallways to avoid interaction with any of the medicbots, and he's nearly out the door when strong claws wrap around his frame, and Cyclonus lifts him up. "They won't let me see Thrust. Not even when I told them I intended to bond my spark to his so their rules would allow me to visit." He narrows his optics. "Now they say I cannot see him even during visiting hours without a guard."

He wishes the mech would set him down. "Maybe they're right about that. Thrust doesn't want to bond to you just yet, and you should respect his decision."

He's carried to the front desk, and the mech shoves him at the bot there. "I have Optimus Prime, that means you should let me in to see Thrust."

The bot looks utterly shocked, "Did you _steal_ him from his room?"

The jetbot snorts, "He was trying to escape. That's not important. What _is_ important is that I know you'll let _him_ visit any bot he wants, and I have him. Take me to Thrust."

"Sir, I'm afraid we're still not going to let you in to see him. He's still offline, and once you made your rather loud declaration that you were planning to have him while he was offline and couldn't complain, we decided not to let you into his room. We frown on that, I'm afraid." The bot smiles in a deceptively friendly way. "You can see him, guarded, during normal visiting hours. Or if he onlines and wishes to see you, we will make an exception."

A bot comes over, and Optimus is pulled from Cyclonus's claws. "Optimus Prime, sir. I'm to escort you to your room. It was quite ... rude of you to leave the room we had you in."

He raises an optic ridge. "Just as it was rude to leave me in there for several megacycles without a servo or information on how much longer I had to wait?"

"No. That's not rudeness." The medicbot smiles disarmingly at him. "That's how a hospital works. Chronically understaffed, networked systems that refuse to actually network efficiently, and always short on supplies. Waiting in a quiet, pleasant room isn't bad at all, sir."

He waves a servo. "You fixed me, I don't need to stay any longer. I know for a _fact_ that this isn't what normally happens. When I was working my way through the academy, I lost a ped, and they just slapped a new one on that was red and told me to get out." He gives the bot a flat look. "I'd have preferred that now."

The mech takes his servo, and pulls him away. "That's not how it works for bots that are so very high profile as you have become between your victory in the war and your engagement to Ultra Magnus, nor for those who have the AllSpark High Priestess looking over them."

"I'd prefer to be treated like a normal mech. I am a normal mech, and this special treatment is fragging pointless. You're wasting time and effort that could be better spent on a bot who actually needs it."

Bright white walls dominate the room he's taken to, and Optimus, momentarily blinded by the sudden change in lighting, doesn't fight back when he's pushed onto a medical examining table again. "You do need this. Forgive me for being blunt, but you look slagging _awful_. You've clearly had a work-up at a spa recently, and you're still looking half as healthy as you could be. Your paint is dull, one of your optics has a bit of cracking on one side that's going to splinter at some point, and half of your joints look like they are misaligned still." The bot laces his fingers and then cracks them, "So lay back and let me get to work on you."

He gives the bot a dirty look, "Then replace the optic, and we can go to another planet for alignment. I need to go back to the sh-" His optics widen, "Oh Primus, I hope nothing happened to my turbofish."

The medic doesn't look the least bit sympathetic, pushing him flat on the berth, "We will have the jetbot sent away with the cranebot, and _they_ can check on your pet. Now is the time to fix you completely."

He pushes the servos away, sitting back up, "I'm going to head back up. I don't need to have this, and I can replace the optic on my own. We have a medical bay on the ship."

The medic taps his temple, and speaks slowly and respectfully, "Yes, High Priestess, your Prime is being resistant to medical treatment. I request permission to put him in temporary offline so we may repair his damages." A long pause, "Yes, thank you. We will notify you when it is finished."

Panic fills his spark, and Optimus starts to get up again, only to feel a datapad click into an exposed port and knock him offline.

* * *

**Please Review**

I don't even remember what most of this chapter is abouttt. I need to get to work on the next one. I'm sure you like this one. Onto the next.**  
**


	13. Chapter 13

I have all of this edited up to what we have written so far. We're writing other things, so I dunno how long it will be until it is done. Don't expect many author's notes. I don't have much imagination for these things unless I'm doing these as I'm updating them on that day.

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

He onlines feeling both better and worse. Better because his systems and frame feel fantastic.

Worse because he knows he's going to get chewed out by Sari, and he also hates medical offlines. They're invasive and he always feels like they only were done to get him to shut up and behave. He is perfectly capable of doing that himself, he just wants to go back to what he was doing.

And, indignities of indignities, he has _clamps_ on his plates. Brightly colored sparkling sparkplate clamps to keep him shut so he doesn't scratch all the work they did up. He starts to take them off, only to frown when his fingers start to sting. He sighs softly, and starts to remove them even as the stinging gets more insistent. He's not going to let a little thing like sparkling punishment gel stop him. It isn't like it really hurts, it just is there to stop little bots from trying to yank the clamps off before they are ready to be removed.

Of course, he should have known that these are not standard sparkling clamps. The medical grade clamps let off a piercing screech of sound as soon as he manages to get one of them loose, and he lets go of it to clamp his servos over his audios reflexively. The medical clamp settles back into place, holding his plates shut firmly once more.

Fragging awful things.

A medicbot peeks in, and then frowns at him and wags a finger. "Naughty Prime. If you wanted the medical clamps off, you have to ask for a medic to give you the access code."

He gives the bot a flat look, "I couldn't help but notice that you also fixed my paint. If you were going to do that, why did you bother painting the new servo you gave me?"

The medic smiles, "We didn't know that you'd have been offlined long enough for us to actually do it at that time. If we had, we would have just painted you entirely then."

He keeps from groaning in irritation, "Can you please remove these clamps? I need to call Ultra and let him know I'm okay." It is actually a little later than he normally calls, and he's worried that Ultra called only to get no answer. He doesn't want his beloved to just get the answering machine.

"The clamps need to stay on you for at least one more megacycle." The medicbot gestures across the room, and it occurs to Optimus that he's in a much nicer place now. The walls are a soft shade of cream, and the medical berth is ridiculously comfortable. It's a private room, and it has its own console, and he has no intention of calling his beloved with sparkling clamps holding him shut.

He will never live that down.

He crosses his arms, "I will not even crack my plates open in that megacycle. I want them removed."

The medicbot just smiles at him, "Nope. They stay on. Priestess's orders."

He looks at the bot blankly for a long moment, "What." He shakes his head, "That shouldn't even _matter_. Sari just wants to humiliate me in front of Ultra. Take off the clamps, please."

The bot shakes his head, "No. They stay on. You are welcome to call the Magnus, and talk to him about whatever you want. You just aren't getting out of the clamps."

A wordless growl of frustration, and Optimus points at the door. "Leave. If you are not going to help me, I do not want you here. Go away and let me make my call."

The medicbot finally leaves, and Optimus sighs, looking around for something to hide the clamps with. There _is_ a folded up heating blanket on one of the tables, and he picks it up and drapes it over his shoulders, wrapping it around his chest to hide the clamps as best he can. It's a pathetic disguise, but better than nothing.

He sends a call to Ultra in the console, and curls up on the medical berth. When his beloved answers, he says shyly, "Hi, Ultra."

His intended leans forward, intensely worried, "What _happened_, Optimus? You're not calling from the ship, and it is telling me you're in a _hospital_ in a ninjabot planet!"

He flinches, "One of the crystals I was trying to grow blew up. I'm fine. The one I'm worried about is Thrust, since I don't know if he's okay or not."

"_I_ will ask Sari later. You will not leave that medical berth until you are fully cleared for it by _two_ medicbots." When he goes to protest, Ultra stops him. "No. I know exactly how you are, Optimus. You leave medical bay before you are cleared, and I doubt you ever fully heal because of it. You will lay on that berth until they say you can go."

Optimus vents slowly, to stay calm, "I suffered nothing worse than a missing servo and a few dents. The extra work they did was unnecessary."

Ultra's optic widen in shock, "You were missing a _servo_?" His mech stands up, leaning over the console to look directly at him, "You are going to have _three_ medicbots clear you now."

He groans, shifting the blanket to hide his head under it, "I don't even need one. I'm just fine how I am, and don't need more attention. I can just go back to the ship and deal with everything there. I need to make sure Aquafire is okay."

Ultra glares at him, "I'm sure your turbofish is just fine, love. Sari would have likely told you if it wasn't. Don't worry about it and get _better_."

"I am already better." The blanket shifts, and Ultra's optics go wide.

"What are you hiding under that blanket? Are you more injured than you claim?"

Optimus flushes, and decides to get it over with as quickly as possible, flashes his clamped sparkplates at Ultra, wrapping the blanket around himself tightly again right after.

"You're clamped?" Ultra's voice is horribly amused, and Optimus blushes an even darker red, hot enough that he feels like his face is about to melt from it.

"I feel like a _sparkling_ with this on. It is so _embarrassing_." He covers back up, hiding his head back under the blanket. "They refused to take them off. There are alarms on them and the stinging gel to add injury to insult."

Ultra chuckles, but covers it with a very fake cough, "Ah, yes, well... It isn't that bad, Optimus. Just think about what we can do with clamps when we're finally bonded."

He frowns, peeking out from the blanket, "What?"

His mech dims his optics, "Well, I could get some later on and clamp you open so that you can't close as I tease and play with you to just about overload."

Optimus flushes and shakes his head rapidly, "_No_, Ultra. We can't. Don't say things like that over a medical line. These calls are often recorded, or Sari might hear. I doubt the Allspark finds that appropriate conversation for us."

Ultra Magnus just smiles, and then adds, "You will look beautiful on our berth, sweetspark. I only want you to know how much I look forward to it. To seeing you with our sparkling inside."

He tugs the blanket over his head, blushing brightly, "We're going to get in _trouble_, Ultra." He is still so very aware that Sari's offer to shorten the courting isn't finalized, and he doesn't want Ultra to ruin it. "I got asked by Thrust about if he should bond to Cyclonus or not," he says, changing the subject. "I don't think I was much help, and then this happened."

Ultra frowns, "Did you tell him to?"

He shakes his head, "No. Thrust both does and doesn't want to. I think it would be better if they gave it time to see if they work out."

"They hardly know one another. More time will help with that." Ultra touches the screen, expression full of open longing. "I miss you. The longer you are away, the more I crave holding you in my arms once more, sweetspark."

Optimus flushes. "I feel the same. But we must learn to be apart. It will make our reunion all the sweeter. Now, please, stop changing the subject to this. I do not want to think of how badly I wish you were here with me."

"I just want you to know how much I love and miss you, Optimus."

He curls up a little more, blushing brightly, "I love and miss you, too. I know we'll be together soon enough, so we don't need to worry about that." He wishes he could tell Ultra about the move up date, but he'll just keep doing what he's doing.

Ultra, thankfully, just smiles, "We will. I look forward to it, and will do everything we can at that point to you." The thought of that warms his frame, and he revs softly. He would love to have Ultra lick him all over like he'd be allowed. Maybe his bot will find another sensitive spot than his headfins. He may love having them petted and licked, but after too long, he stops being able to feel much with them.

It would take a severe modification to alter that, and Optimus is not interested in modifying himself for pure carnal purposes. Not when sensor readjustment is important for normal function.

He doesn't want to accidentally overload because he couldn't adjust to having solvent lapping at his headfins in a solvent soak. That would be beyond embarrassing, and is the kind of thing only a prostibot would do to their frame. And he is no prostibot.

He looks up a tiny bit, "I... I do, too." He shifts the blanket a little bit, "But enough about this. How was your sol?"

Ultra smiles, "It was just fairly boring, beloved. I was mainly spending time in the office and working on the datapads. They pile up if you ignore them long enough. I will be done with them by tomorrow, though, so I can just leave them for another decacycle until I have enough for the entire working sol. It makes life so much easier that way."

"Ultra," Optimus says reprovingly. "You should not put the work off. Those datapads might contain important information that needs to be handled immediately."

A chuckle, and Optimus scowls at his beloved, who takes things far too lightly for how old he is. "If they have something important to share, they bring it up with me directly. Or they will share it with their supervisor. They don't hide it in a datapad labeled 'Diplomatic expenses.'"

"They might. If they think their supervisor is corrupt."

Ultra smiles at him, "This is why they bring it to me directly. Pretty much anyone can walk into my office, or talk to Cliffjumper. You know how that is, they've come to talk to you as well."

He sighs softly, "They come to me to ask me to _not_ do things."

His intended nods, "Exactly. If you take a little longer to do it, everyone is more relaxed. It was good for you to be so prompt when we were fighting, but now we need to slow back down to peace time. You got too used to the speed that the humans used, Optimus. It is different on Cybertron."

Earth moved lightning-fast, everyone rushing through their sparkbreakingly short lives before passing onto the organic equivalent of the Well. He hopes there is some way to cross over, or Sari's spark will be very sad when it is not able to find both of its creators in the Well.

Or so Optimus assumes. There have only ever been a few bots to reach the Well, and he remembers so very little from his own brief offlining. Remembers less of it as more time passes. It is, perhaps, for the better. He should focus on life. Not death.

He snuggles into his heating blanket, "I guess. I just... I don't like how I don't seem to have anything to do. It would be better if I could figure out more things to fill my time."

Ultra chuckles softly, "Well, for awhile I did miniature crystal gardening, but I stopped after awhile. I got bored and lost interest. Then I started writing. There are all sorts of things to do to fill your time, Optimus. You just need to figure it out. You said you were growing a crystal when it exploded? I can help you with crystals."

"It was a defective crystal. They should be investigated." He doesn't want to admit to being a complete failure with crystals. It's embarrassing. "I would love to learn from you. Perhaps you could," he blushes, "teach me to grow something unorthodox. Perhaps several types of cora."

Red cora.

Ultra revs a little, and dims his optics. "I would love to teach you. You will be as apt a pupil in this as you were in all other subjects, I hope."

He blushes at that, "Well, I'm sure I'll actually _realize_ when you're being suggestive now." If Sari was here, she'd call Ultra a dirty old bot for doing everything he did with Optimus before this in the name of teaching him. "Actually know why you're tying me up on your berth, and that it wasn't just for escape practice." His face is so hot, it feels a bit like it is going to melt.

His beloved chuckles softly, "Well, you can tie _me_ up later on, so it will go both ways." Ultra smiles, "I'll happily take any... lessons you give me."

Optimus ducks his head. "I am not entirely certain I know what kinds of lessons you would enjoy. Perhaps," he decides to risk it, "something with a static glove?"

Ultra revs loudly, "We should not speculate any longer, or we will get in trouble with the Allspark. I doubt it wishes to hear about how I long to-" he cuts himself off." No. I should not say what I hope to do with you on our bonding night."

Happy that his beloved is learning, Optimus kisses his fingertips and presses them against the screen. "Thank you."

Ultra shakes his head in amusement, "I don't need thanks for that, Optimus." There's a knock at the door and a medic bot steps in, making Ultra straighten up, "I suppose that's my cue to disconnect." His beloved presses a servo to the screen, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he murmurs, pressing his servo back to the screen, and letting his intended cut the call. He turns to the medicbot, "Yes?"

The medic looks through a datapad, "I'm here to do a run through for what we did, and instructions on how to keep taking care of yourself. Do you want a copy of the datapad?"

"No." He didn't need common sense explanations on maintenance. He kept his frame in functional condition just fine without them.

"Very well." The medicbot scrolls a bit, and then begins to read, "We replaced over one hundred worn out gears and parts that had been overlooked on your last maintenance check. Your wires have been stripped in some cases, and replaced with new wires when your nanites did not show signs of immediate repair, indicating the wires were only partially functional. In addition, you were sanded and repainted in a new paint with a slight metallic flake in it. The upgrade was a free one." The bot winks, "One of the mechs in the paint shop thought you were worth it."

The door slams open, and Sari strides in with Afterburner trailing after her like the angriest duckling in the universe. She points up at the medic, "No hitting on Optimus. You just _saw_ him talking to his intended, and I don't apreciate it."

The medic gives her a surprised look, "Priestess! I didn't know you we-"

She stalks over to the medical berth, cutting the mech off, "It doesn't _matter_ if you knew or not. You're not supposed to do it at all, and it doesn't matter that you're a ninjabot. You need to learn that not everyone is open to advances."

The bot gives her a flat look now, "Of course. You, as Priestess, would argue for the bot intending to chain himself to another bot for all time." He bows rather stiffly, and offers her the datapad. "Please enjoy your stay on our planet. Your Prime must stay overnight for observation."

She glares right back, "Oh yeah. I'm sure you'll be 'observing' him alright. You should remind your medical staff that his injury was not on his aft or sparkplates, so they can stop fondling them when he's offline. Allspark is _so_ not happy about that."

Optimus hides a little more effectively in his blanket, "This is why I wanted to go back to the ship, Sari. I could have just done this in the _next_ planet."

She pats him on the side, "You still needed to have it done, Optimus. I just should have known better than to trust ninjabots to pass a test like this."

The medic freezes, "Test?"

She reaches into Afterburner's subspace and chucks a datapad at the ninjabot's head, and Optimus is amazed to see it actually connects. The medic stumbles to catch it, and just barely does before it hits the ground. She glares at the bot even harder, "Yes, _test_. You idiots knew he was in a courting, and that I told you not to open his spark chamber. And what do you do? You ignore my instructions and put him in fragging _clamps_. What the hell is wrong with you?"

The medicbot straightens, and hisses at her, "We were being remarkably generous, allowing you to visit us. Yes, several bots took advantage of the situation and fondled the Prime inappropriately. They have been reprimanded. The sparkchamber inspection and maintenance clamps are medical necessities, and we will _not_ allow a Priestess to decide what is and is not required during a bot's medical exam. Did you realize that a full third of his replacement parts went into his sparkchamber?"

She gives the bot a very flat look, "Most of which were superficial wires and gears. All of which that could have easily been done by himself or by one of the bots I approved of. If you had followed my instructions, I wouldn't be half as angry."

The medic straightens angrily, "One of your 'approved bots' was that spark rapist you call a-"

She hisses angrily, "Cyclonus is _not_ a spark rapist, you fragging idiot. He's worried that the first bot that he's been interested in that _isn't_ an insane version of Megatron got hurt! He's never felt this before and just wanted Thrust _safe_ when all you've been doing is blocking him at every turn! He even put on the fragging clamps you demanded he wear just so he could sit by Thrust's side when I was there!"

"If you do not like our procedures and rules, you are free to take your mechs elsewhere for treatment. There is no reason why they must remain here."

Optimus leaps on that, "So there's no reason for me to stay for observa-"

The medic scowls. "No. You need to be watched, but you are welcome to have some other medic do it for you if the 'High Priestess' is unhappy with our treatment of you." He is dangerously close to being cursed, and Optimus lifts his servos, not wanting Sari to isolate this planet. She had liked it well enough, other than a few bots here and there.

"I can be monitored on the ship. The room I stay in is already modified to that purpose."

Sari prods him in the side, "You stay out of this. In fact," she turns to her consort, "Afterburner, please take Optimus out of the room, and remove the clamps from him. They're the kind with alarms, so be sure to jam something in them so they make the noise and throw them in the main office area."

The racecar bot grins, "Of course, Sari." Optimus is yanked off the berth and pulled out of the room, ignoring the protests from the medic bot to do so. The mech pulls off Optimus's blanket and throws it in the room just before closing the door to cut off Sari's shouting. "Let's get to work on the clamps, shall we?"

Optimus back away from him, and his manic, terryfing smile. "No. I will keep them until we return to the ship, and will remove them on my own. I do not want your servos near my plates."

Afterburner snorts. "I'd have to be a suicidal idiot to touch you with any intent, Prime. I am bonded to the Priestess. She does not find you attractive. She would punish me, and not in the fun, kinky sort of way." He reaches for the clamps, and Optimus slides out of reach once more.

"I don't need this right now. I'll rem-"

The bot yanks him back, "No. She said to remove them, so they are going to be removed. I can do it so you get damaged, or I can do it with your cooperation. I don't care which you choose."

He is seriously considering doing the get damaged option, since it means he can try to get away, but he knows Sari wouldn't understand at all. He sighs, holding still. "Remove them, then."

Afterburner smiles, pointed dente flashing, "Good. Now watch behind me and turn off your audio. This is going to get loud."

He does as ordered, and still winces at the reactions of the bots when Afterburner successfully removes the clamps, wedges a bit of metal into them, and tosses the pair of them into the lobby, behind the service desk.

He's dragged out of the hospital and away towards the area he parked the shuttlecraft. After he turns his audios on, he realizes that the racecar has been ranting for a while.

"-and then you interrupt a fragging amazing spark frag just because you are too dim to grow a crystal, and you-"

He offlines his audios again.

He's pushed into a seat, and the bot pulls a heating blanket from one of the overhead drawers to throw at him. He doesn't hear what the bot says, and doesn't really care, so he just wraps it around himself and drops into a stasis nap. He's fairly sure that they're going to be waiting for everyone to join them, and he has plenty of time to kill. He can deal with everything later.

* * *

**Please Review**


	14. Chapter 14

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

He onlines to an insistent poking at his face. Onlining his audios, he hears Sari saying, "Get _up_, Optimus. You're going to be helping with Thrust, and I'm not dealing with your insistence on not listening to Afterburner."

He flickers his optics on, and looks at her for a long moment, "I wouldn't have kept them off if he had been less crude."

"I like him crude," Sari says with a grin. "He's cute that way." She reaches over and pets the racecarbot, who gives Optimus a grin so smug it's a wonder that the bot's ego doesn't have its own gravity at this point. "It's pretty funny sometimes too, because he uses all of your fake swearing bot words."

Afterburner's smug grin turns into a scowl. and he prods her side, "They are not fake curse words, Sari. It is not my fault you prefer the strange organic ones."

She slaps his claws lightly, "Your's sound like you're trying to clean up your language around me."

The racecar picks her up, "You use them, too. I don't see why you think they're not real."

"I told you, it sounds like they're used to clean up your language. I'm trying not to swear so much. It's even easier now that I'm surrounded by bots that use fake words to curse."

They really aren't 'fake' words. Not even in the slightest. Bots take language like that very seriously, and Sari ought to know that. No matter how many times Optimus has explained it to her, she just doesn't seem to care, or in her own words, 'I do not give a frag, Optimus.'

He vents a long-suffering sigh. "No bot is used to a Priestess with such a filthy mouth."

A scowl, "Hey, it's not filthy. I'm not going on and on about spark sex or anything."

He shudders, "No, that's just your first consort."

She blinks at him for a moment before punching Afterburner, a light tap really, "You need to _not_ talk about what we do in the berth to Optimus. At all."

The racecar kisses her, "But I can't help it. You're just so wonderful, and he turns all these shades of red in embarrassment. It's just so great to watch him."

"I know it's really tempting, but you can't give in to the urges, okay? I don't want him to know. He's like a creator to me, and I don't want him to hear about what I get up to in the berth. It's gross."

Afterburner clearly wants to make a negative comment about what kind of creator Optimus is, or would be, but he manages to keep his mouth shut. Sari pats his shoulder to thank him for that, and Afterburner practically glows from the attention.

First consorts are strange things.

Optimus sits up, "So what is this about me needing to help with Thrust?"

She blinks at him for a long moment before remembering why she made him online in the first place, "Cyclonus has him in his arms right there," she waves vaguely behind her and Optimus can just barely see the worried from of the jetbot, "You're the one that will be able to tell if he gets worse. We're heading to the next planet at full speed and having them fix Thrust the best they can. I called ahead and they aren't going to demand that they are bonded to get it, and thought that was a really stupid rule anyway."

The medicbots have done quite a lot for the bot already, and Optimus isn't sure there's much more that _he_ can do, other than watch the bot and make sure he doesn't get worse. "Let's put him in the medical bay as soon as we reach the ship. The automatic drone medics there should be able to repair a bit of the damage themselves."

Cyclonus's arms tighten on the bot. "I do not like drone medics."

He slips out of the shuttle, walking over to the mech, "Well, that doesn't really matter since you'll be watching to make sure that they do a good job. If you don't like how they do it, we can just reprogram them into doing it correctly."

The jet pets Thrust's chest softly for a moment before nodding reluctantly. The mech heads to the medical bay, and Optimus has to hurry to follow. He's glad the bot isn't flying, or he'd never catch up.

When they get there, he pats the medical berth, "Just put him here, and we'll do our best to fix him."

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," a medical drone says in far too cheerful a tone.

Sari stares at it, and then shakes her head, "Really? I just. Really? You're cribbing lines from old tv shows?"

The drone cocks its head to one side, and gives her a blank, noncomprehending look. "Is this the medical emergency?"

She points at Thrust, "_He_ is the emergency, because the fragging bots at the hospital _suck_."

The drone beeps, "High Priestess upset at hospital, medical emergency plan CLXVII"

The drones start to run a diagnostic and Sari gapes at them in shock, "You have a _plan_ for this? What the hell?"

One of the drones comes over and hands her a datapad, and Optimus peers over her shoulder to look at it, "They really do. They must have put it in just for you. Look," he points at the scrollbar, "It's way at the bottom. They were expecting you to get angry at a planet. Just like how they were expecting hangovers." He points out one of the higher up listings, "See? It even has an plan on where to order that processor ache cure from."

Sari pulls up one of the plans and blinks, "I think I should be insulted. It has a plan for what to do if I throw an orgy on the ship and impregnate all the bots there. That's kind of insulting, right?"

Several priestesses had done similar things in the past, and had then used the sparklings as an excuse to claim all of the bots as their own. The bots, thrilled with the rare sparklings, had almost never protested the claim.

When they did, it was not pretty, hence the emergency plan.

He's glad when Afterburner takes her to the side to explain that, so he doesn't have to. Instead, he focuses on Cyclonus, who is fretting over Thrust with Grapple petting the jetbot cautiously on the side. The cranebot is murmuring softly, "I know you're worried, but sometimes you just need to let the drones do the work they're programmed to do. They know what's going on, and how to fix it. Even if they don't fix it completely, you yanking it off will only damage him even more."

The jetbot shifts unhappily, "I should be holding him."

Optimus moves over, "If you were holding him, he'd be in the wrong alignment to get fixed, and they may hurt him more."

"That is stupid," Cyclonus says flatly, and pulls Thrust closer to his chest. "The drones will instruct me, and I will repair him myself. We are to be bonded and I should know how to fix him when he is hurt."

Ah. Overprotective lovers were always the worst part of medical work. Optimus had thoroughly hated the emergency field medic training he'd been given, mostly because of the 'lover' mech they had to calm down as part of the final test. "Medical work is very delicate, Cyclonus. And it is best learned first by observation. Let the drones fix him, and watch them carefully, so you will know what to do next time."

Cyclonus holds the cyclebot even tighter, "_I_ will fix him. The medics on the planet took him from me, and I will not let a dr-"

He puts his servo on Cyclonus's side cautiously, "He will be _right_ _here_, and you can even hold his servo as he gets fixed. If he is fixed, he can actually hold you back instead of laying in your arms looking almost grey."

The bot freezes, looking torn, "He is _mine_."

Perceptor walks over, saying flatly, "If you want him to bond with you, he needs to be online for it." The carbot moves a bit, looking at Thrust, "If you don't set him down, he will offline and nothing will save him."

Cyclonus gives them a . . . smile. A very strange smile, and he strokes Thrust's armor. "Yes." He touches a bit of armor that is faded, and carefully places Thrust on the medical berth. "Repair him for now. I will watch." He settles himself down and wraps his fingers around Thrusts's servo, optics fixed on the medical drones.

They get to work immediately, and Optimus stares at the jetbot, wondering what had managed to calm him down.

Sari wanders over, Afterburner following close behind, and she prods the former Decepticon in the side, "I know what you're thinking, and it doesn't work like that."

The jetbot looks down at her, "But Unic-"

She shakes her head, "No. It really doesn't. I know you have your hopes set on it, but it isn't going to _work_. Just focus on the now, because what you're thinking isn't going to happen. Megatron is dealing with sparklings, and there all sorts of other things. You just need to let it go and realize you have Thrust. Who adores you."

"He is mine. If he adores me, he will agree to bond with me." Thrust gets adjusted on the berth so he's a little closer to the jetbot, who leans down, pushing a drone out of the way to give his lover a soft kiss. "You will online soon, Thrust, so you may inform them that we are going to bond. Then they will allow us to do it."

Optimus thinks the bots should be separated for a while, to make sure that Thrust is not being pressured into this, thinking he must obey because he was trained to obey.

Sari leans on Afterburner, "If you keep moving him, he won't get fixed at all. I'd tell you to stop touching him, but that's a lost cause." The jet glares at her, and she waves a servo dismissively, "The more you let him lay there untouched, the sooner you get to have him in your lap making those noises you love."

Cyclonus's servos twitch, then the mech reluctantly moves away. "He _will_ bond with me."

She gives the bot a flat look, "You realize that bonding means that you will be with him forever, right? Or are you thinking this is something else? There's no way to break it unless I do it, and even then you won't be able to get near Thrust afterwards."

"I know." The bot strokes Thrust's arm, and the cyclebot groans, onlining his optics as one of the medicbots does something to one of his ports. "He is mine. Forever."

Thrust looks around with dazed optics for a moment, and then falls back offline. The drones continue working as if nothing happened, and Optimus vents with relief. If the processor prodding had managed to online him, he should be alright. As long as Cyclonus allows the medics to repair the rest of his damage. His processor would remain unharmed.

The jetbot makes a distressed sound, and reaches for the cyclebot only to be stopped by Grapple. The crane shakes his head, "He's fine. This happens sometimes. I bet you've had it happen to you and you just don't remember it. He wasn't _really_ online, he's too out of it to know. Just sit here, and let the drones work. Would it be better if some of us left so you didn't feel so crowded? I know I felt better if I wasn't surrounded by bots as they worked on Hoist."

Cyclonus looks hesitant before nodding firmly. "I only want you with me." The bot clearly thinks just having Grapple there means he can keep touching Thrust. "Everyone else can go."

"Cool. Keep an eye on him, Grapple. Make sure he doesn't fuck it up for the drones." Sari grabs Afterburner and tugs him towards the exit, "I've got plans for you, and they're not ones I can talk about out here."

Afterburner dims his optics, "Shall we get back to what we were doing when we were interrupted by this emergency?" There's an audible click of sparkplate locks disengaging, and Optimus wrinkles his faceplates in disgust. The racecarbot really _is_ terribly crude. He knows the bot can be better than that-he ran an important resort. He must be doing it just to upset Optimus.

He turns to Perceptor, and the carbot gives him a flat look that somehow conveys being amused - he must be getting somewhat better at interpreting the mech's expression, or the bot is being more visual for his benefit. The mech gestures to the door, "I think they have it under control, don't you?"

He wouldn't really say that, but Grapple and Cyclonus seems to have formed some kind of rapport that he just doesn't have with either. He'll let them deal with this on their own. It isn't like he has any real way to deal with this. Not when he's being hindered by being on vacation.

He shrugs, and walks with Perceptor out of the room, "As under control as it will get." He sighs softly, "I just need to know if my room is fixed and if Aquafire is okay."

"The repair drones began work immediately, and I believe they should be finished by now. They are very efficient little drones. I should requisition a few of them for Wheeljack's lab." The bot pauses, and shakes his head, "No. For the floor below Wheeljack's lab, so they will not be blown up during his explosions. We lose too many repair and cleaning drones that way."

He nods, "I know." In fact, the explosions are a large part of the paperwork he has to go through. He doesn't want to admit that he looks forward to a large explosion now, just for something to do. "And what about Aquafire?"

Perceptor gives him a blank look, "Your turbofish is just fine from what I was told."

Probably much angrier, though. Turbofish were so easily upset. Aquafire was likely raging now, thrashing about in his tank, trying to destroy any models that had survived the blast. Particularly any model that bore a resemblance to Optimus.

He laughs a bit to himself when they walk into the room and find Aquafire doing just that.

In fact, the turbofish has apparently been waiting for Optimus to return, because he dramatically tosses a figure's arm out of the tank as soon as they step into the room.

He picks it up, and Perceptor walks over to the tank to tap the side of it experimentally. "Do all turbofish act like this, or is it just your's?"

Perceptor wasn't on the planet to see the large amount of the animal swimming around in the resort or with Moonracer he belatedly remembers. "Pretty much all of them do, unless you count the ones around Sari. They act almost tame with her."

Perceptor picks up the toy that he had gotten a partial transformation done on while overcharged, "And you've made him toys?"

"They keep him entertained." He flushes, aware that he is spoiling a turbofish with a very limited processor more than he should. The turbofish will get terribly demanding later in its life. "And I enjoyed making them for him. It was a very interesting experience." And it had stopped Aquafire from ramming his tank nonstop, so he counted that as a win.

The carbot looks into the tank curiously, and moves out of the way far faster than he would have expected possible when Aquafire jumps out of the tank to attack. The turbofish lands back in the tank, thrashing angrily, and Perceptor adjusts his glasses, "Interesting."

He isn't really sure how to respond to that, so just starts to clean up a few things the repair drones didn't fix. "I guess." He moves some of the thin sheet metal he was using, "Aquafire does like to bite, so keep your fingers out of there."

Perceptor makes a small, dismissive sound, "That doesn't really bother me, Optimus. Unless it can remove more than my arm, I'm well prepared for any problems. Most of my limbs are easily detachable for a reason."

"He is too small to even dent armor right now." Optimus chuckles as Perceptor reaches into the tank and immediately has a turbofish attacking his servo as viciously as possible.

Considering how small Aquafire is, and that his species was bred to not have particularly strong jaws, he doesn't manage to do more than make Perceptor lean in close to study the turbofish nipping at his fingers. "Curious. Does he always react with this level of violence?"

He starts to stack the sheet metal, "Not always, just when Sari isn't here. There may be other things that he won't attack and will actively love, but I haven't seen it. He barely accepts food."

The scientist hums thoughtfully, reaching over to pick up one of the simple flat cut-outs of a bot that is laying next to the tank, and placing the tip of the leg in the tank. Aquafire gives Perceptor a distrustful look and swims away before returning to circle the cut-out warily. "Does he have any prefrence for which one he likes to attack?"

He shrugs, "He seems to like the 3D ones, rather than those. I think that's because he likes the idea of killing actual bots."

"How gruesome." Perceptor wiggles the cut-out, and Aquafire lunges at it, latching onto the foot and tugging fiercely as Perceptor holds on to the other end. "I have not had much time to study Turbofish, though many of the nobles and upper class bots I have visited over the vorns have kept them as pets."

With the effort it has already taken to keep Aquafire content, Optimus understands why they tend not to be kept as pets by most bots.

Perceptor continues the game with Aquafire, letting the fish pull off a limb to shred before using the next, " I hadn't realized they were so violent. Do you think this is because he's the only one in the tank, or some other reason?"

He shrugs, starting to put away the various crystals, "Maybe? I don't really know. Moonracer says it would be better if I had more than five, but she also said that I should only have one if I'm just learning. I don't want to accidentally offline him."

"I doubt you are capable of offlining a turbofish, Optimus. They are rather hardy little fish, especially if they are bred by reputable breeders. A good breeder will make sure to only sell you the best, to encourage you to buy from them again."

Optimus makes a nocommittal noise, and offers Perceptor a sculpted figurine of a femme that looks a bit like Sari. The bot takes it, and dips it into the tank. He half expeted Aquafire to yank it away and tear it to pieces, but it just tries to pull it out of Perceptor's fingers as gently as possible. He moves closer, raising an optic ridge, "He must really love Sari. I didn't know that she could make that big of an impression."

The carbot just shrugs, "She is rather unforgettable, Optimus. Thrust was explaining to me that she had walked through the large pool in the resort full of them, and the fish had all crowded around to get petted."

"They did." Aquafire nudges at Perceptor's fingers more insistently, trying to get the bot to release the figurine. Optimus chuckles. "You may as well give it to him. I want to see what he does with it."

Perceptor releases the figure, and Aquafire catches it gently in his mouth before it can sink to the bottom, and procedes to carry it over to a bit of fake metal-wire plant. The fish bends the wires flat, making a little nest of them that it lays the Sari figurine in.

Perceptor's optics light up with interest, "Fascinating."

Optimus leans down to watch, as well. "Animals act different around Sari. I'm not sure if she'll like this, though."

Aquafire drags tiny bits of the shredded metal to lay at the figurine's peds, and Pereptor adjusts his glasses to get more information. "We could contact her and ask."

He snorts, "No. I'm not going to drag her away from Afterburner. He's frustrating enough as it is."

There's no fragging way he's risking them informing him that they're in the middle of a frag, either.

Sari will see Aquafire's little shrine to her eventually. And he hopes she is suitably horrified that the turbofish wants to offer her the parts of offlined bots.

Knowing Sari, she will find it all terribly amusing.

Aquafire agitates the surface of the water, and then curls himself in front of Sari's figurine, hiding her from view.

Optimus chuckles softly, "Well, that will stop him from ramming into the side of the tank at all times, at least." He stands up, "Well, I'm going to read up on how to make the toys, if you want to stay you can, but I don't really have much to provide you with."

Perceptor looks at him for a moment, "Would you like me to help you? I know how to build bots from scratch, and I saw you tried to make a transformation sequence. I'd be happy to help you with that, if you want."

He thinks Perceptor would be happier being with Streetwise or something, but maybe he's irritated at the bot. He doesn't know. Optimus pulls out a few of the flat sheets of metal, "If that's what you want, I'm perfectly willing to do it."

Perceptor sits down, and takes a metal sheet from him. "Streetwise is recharging."

Optimus flushes, "Was I that obvious?"

A small nod, "Yes." He twists the metal sheet back and forth, making it softer, easier to bend and shape the ways he wants it to. "If you want them very complex, you will need to use smaller parts. You don't have the tools to make them, which is why the transformation sequence on the one you tried is rather mangled."

He taps his fingers on the table, "I was planning on buying some, but then all this happened, and we were on a ninjabot pla-"

Perceptor drops a set of tools on the the table next to him, "You can have these. I have several sets, and that is one of my more basic ones. You're welcome to modify them into something more efficient for yourself. They may be a little too small for your servos, but will work for knowing if you want to continue this. If you do, Wheeljack will be ecstatic to show you where to get ones that fit you. You can give them back to me or pass them on to someone else."

A dozen little tools scatter on the table, and Optimus picks one up to examine it. The end is very sharp, and it has a little curved hook halfway up for tearing small pieces of metal off. Another tool has a heat-pressure tip, so the harder it is pressed on something, the hotter it becomes. Perfect for welding delicate parts together without any solder. "Thank you, Perceptor." The other tools are good for various purposes; cutting, trimming, inserting small gears and screws.

The carbot pushes the half formed toy at him, "It is nothing. Shall we get to work?"

He smiles, a little shyly, "I'd like that." He takes the toy and starts to modify it. "I'm glad that you're willing to help me with this."

Perceptor shakes his head, "If you know what you're doing with this, you are more likely to understand what Wheeljack, Red Alert, and I all do together for work. It means you will be more willing to listen to our proposals instead of looking at the prototypes I bring with the belief they are sparkling toys."

He smiles wider, "I already knew they aren't, so you don't have anything to worry about there."

Perceptor gives him a blank look, and moves Optimus's servos into a different position to fix the toy, "Never the less."

* * *

**Please Review**


	15. Chapter 15

You get a author's note today because I am unable to sleep. Hooray.

Not much to say other than we love your review, and thank you for giving them. Oh, and you guys should check out the live journal, since that is where the link to the current typewith is, and we'd like to talk with you :V

Yes, we _want _you to talk to us. Don't be all quiet, silly.

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

Optimus rubs his optics tiredly, "You want me to what?"

Sari taps her ped on the floor irritably, "I don't just _want_ you to, I'm telling you that you are going to be going down on planet."

He sighs softly, "I really would prefer not to go to another resort, Sari. I'd like to just go home, really. It has been long enough for the vacation that I'm getting tired."

"It'll be fun, Optimus. We're gonna go play with robo-animals and run around in the robot forests and shit. And we're going to enjoy it and not be harassed by bots the entire time. Got it?" She pokes him. "They don't even have hotels here. They have little cottages. Romantic cottages, but you're gonna have to share with Grapple. They only had a few with multiple berths."

He sighs softly, "Is the one I'm sharing with Grapple romantic?" He doesn't want to go _at_ _all_ if that's the case. Grapple is suffering from sparkbreak and he's going to be bonding with Ultra. Neither of those things are the least bit conductive to being dealt with in a romantic cottage.

She shakes her head, "No. This one is geared more for families. You aren't sharing a berth and it has more 'fun' oriented sort of things. I know it has a large collection of datapads on making the toy things you are doing lately. It also explains how to properly grow crystals. I'm sure you'll love it."

Optimus blushes a bit. "Oh. Thank you, Sari. I do appreciate that. Does that mean one of us is going to end up recharging in a sparkling room?"

"Heck yeah, it does." She grins, "I even asked them to put the softest, cuddliest blankets possible in there. You're lucky the berth is sized for neutral sparklings. It should be plenty big enough for you, Optimus."

He shakes his head ruefully. There was no stopping Sari sometimes, especially when she got it in her head to do something specific. Like shoving him in a sparkling berth. The room would probably have sparkling nightlights and music as well.

Afterburner looks too smug for it not to have it.

"I'd still like to stay. I don't need to go see the animals, Sari. You saw how Aquafire is reacting to you. I imagine it will be like that, if not magnified several times."

She scowls, "You're coming, Optimus. I have it set so your fish is fed the entire time we're there, and you can't just hide away form everything. They have a obstacle course that I'm sure you'd like to try."

Despite his best attempts, he cannot help but perk up a little at that. It's been quite a long time since he's had the opportunity to test his skills, and he knows this vacation is doing terrible things to his battle abilities. If he tried it in the ship, his room's computer would likely throw an enromous temper tantrum and have him drinking filtered highgrade with crystal flake for the next decacycle.

He doesn't need that sort of fuel. He's just a truckbot, not a fancy racecar that loves to run everywhere he goes. He can make due just fine on something plain. No matter how much everyone seems to think he should have the richest possible energon.

He sighs softly, "Let me go get my th-"

She grabs him, "Nuh-uh. You're fine how you are. They have the sheet metal and other stuff in the cottages, and you can call Ultra later tonight. He'll love taking to you when you're all tired out from racing."

He doesn't particularly want to call Ultra when he's worn out and barely capable of keeping his optics online. It is both unprofessional and unattractive, and Optimus wants no part in it. "Of course, Sari," he says, putting a note in his processor to stop all racing and other activities after a certain level of fuel has been consumed.

That way, he won't have to keep track of it himself, which can be very wearying.

She pushes him towards the hallway, "Let's _go_. I want to see what the place is like." She turns her head to talk at the ceiling, "Ship? Way to the front?"

A series of lights show up, and they start walking. Afterburner picks Sari up, and kisses her lovingly, "Will you want to take the tour first, or are we going straight to the cottages to ... see them?"

Optimus is glad that the racecar isn't flat out saying what he means since Sari likely punishes him in a way he doesn't want to know about.

Sari slaps his servo. "We're going to take a tour. A self-led tour, because frag waiting in lines. I got permission for us to wander, and that's what we're going to do." She points forward again. "Onward we go, to find great and mysterious beasts of all sorts. Perhaps we'll take some home with us."

He's almost positive that they don't allow that.

She waves a servo, "I wonder if they have anything that looks like a dinosaur. Maybe a cat."

Afterburner looks amused, "Cybercats are sure to be here, my priestess. You don't have to worry about that."

She nuzzles against her consort, "I still find it kinda funny that there are things like _turbo_foxes and _cyber_cats. Like you added on an extra word to make it seem more robotty"

"But that is what they are, Priestess," Afterburner insists, jerking back the nanoklik they step outside, and a cheerful resort bot greets them.

"Welcome to our planet!" the pink and blue bot bounces on his peds, smiling brilliantly at them. "Let me show you where your cabins are, and you can explore however and wherever you please." The bot wags a finger in the air, "Unless there's an 'employees only' sign, which means that there might be dangerous wiring or trash bins that you wouldn't want to see."

Somewhere along the way, the rest of their group had joined them, and Grapple mutters softly, "If you have dangerous wiring, you should be fixing it, not just leaving it in a closed off area."

Optimus nods mutely, agreeing wholesparkedly, and Sari snorts, "Right." She points at Cyclonus, who is cuddling a slightly tired looking Thrust in his arms, "Those two need to go into the honeymoon cottage I asked for. They're going to be bonding, and I don't want them interrupted."

The bot waves his servos, "No, no, you see, the wiring is quite safe, but if a guest who did not understand how it worked was to pull on it, or open a panel, it might _become_ dangerous. That is why we keep it out of reach. But yes, I would be honored to show them to their cottage." He perks up again, "My contact information is here," he offers them datapads, "call me if you need anything at all. I am Wildrider, and I will be happy to help."

Optimus glances at the datapad before putting it in his subspace. Perceptor has a possessive servo on Streetwises's hip as he asks, "How close are our cottages to the other's?"

Wildrider smiles, "Less than a minute drive from each other." In other words, far enough away to not hear each other, but close enough to get together quickly. Not a bad thing at all. Optimus knows he doesn't want to hear what is going on in the other cottages.

Perceptor's servo squeezes the hip, "That's good." The carbot turns to Sari, "Can we g-"

She glares at the mech, "_No_. You're going to spend time looking at animals. You're worse than Optimus. Socialization is good for you."

"I do socialize. With Streetwise. He has read some very intesting datapads, and we enjoy discussing them. Red Alert will enjoy having him in her berth." He strokes Streetwise's thighs, and draws the bot down for a kiss. Streetwise kisses enthusiastically, as though he wants to be shoved down and used right then and there. It's terribly filthy, and Sari throws a rock at them.

"Stop that. No making out in front of me."

Streetwise rubs the dent on his helmet from the rock, "We can just go to the co- OW!" Another rock hit the mech right between the optics, "Stop throwing things at me."

She crosses her arms, "No. Do I need to seperate you two? I can put you by Grapple, and Percy by Optimus. They can talk about building little toys, and you can get pushed by Grapple when I tell him to."

"I'll behave." Streetwise turns to Perceptor to whisper something in his audio, and the sciencebot pinches his aft. Streetwise yelps, and then leans against him for a brief moment. "You make this very hard on me, Priestess. It is as if Perceptor were designed for carnal enjoyment, and you deny me so often."

Sari chucks another rock at the former prostibot, and Optimus wonders where she's getting them from Afterburner's shoulder when he sees her pull one out of the racecar's subspace. She throws that one at the bot a third time, "You only came for Percy, and you need to earn it. You weren't invited, you just decided you wanted to come. Be glad that I let you. I could have made you pay for everyting out of your own pocket instead of providing for you. You put up with this or you leave."

The car shifts unhappily, "I can pay if you wa-"

She chucks a rock at the bot's head, "Shut up."

"But I have the credits if you need them. I was well paid in my job, and I would not want to upset you by taking credits from-"

"Shut. Up." She throws a rock hard enough to leave a _large_ dent on his shoulder, and Streetwise falls silent. "Stop trying to make me like you. Yeah. I know you like fragging Percy. But he needs to do other things than frag his spark sore. Get it?"

Streetwise somehow manages to keep his glare in check, "Yes, Priestess."

She tosses a rock up and down for a moment before putting it in Afterburner's subspace, "Good." She turns to Wildrider, "Go take Cyclonus and Thrust to the cottage." She holds up a servo, "One sec, gotta do this first." Afterburner walks over to the two bots, and she glows faintly before pressing a servo to their chests, "There. Now it won't get rejected." She points at Cyclonus, "You need to stay fueled up and not moving too much. Let Thrust do most of the work since he knows what he's doing. Your spark is _barely_ healthy enough for this. You're only being allowed to bond because _Thrust_ wanted it. If he hadn't, you'd have had nothing. Do you understand?"

"Yes." His expression is so blank that Optimus can't tell what the bot is thinking, but the possessive servos on Thrust say it all. They would need to make sure Cyclonus was still full of the anti-violence coding that he should be carrying, because Optimus doubts that Cyclonus would have accepted a no from Thrust.

Especially not with his understanding of romance being a Decepticon one.

He hopes Thrust realizes that Cyclonus will likely never offer him sweet crystals and energon, or soak with him in a crystal-petal laced soaking pool.

Thrust kisses the jetbot lovingly, "I get to take care of _you_." The cyclebot rubs sparkplates, "Now I get to watch as you make the wonderful noises and I can feed you all the delicious candies you'd been trying to convince me to eat all the time." The bot taps Cyclonus softly on the nose, "None of those had red cora in them, even if they were red crystals, silly bot."

The jet huffs softly, "Like watching you."

Thrust cuddles close, "I don't _need_ cora when I'm with you."

Sari makes a noise of faux-disgust, "Ugh, get out of here. Go bond and stop being huge weird robo-saps in front of me. It's creeping me out." She waves a servo at them. "Go, go."

They leave, and Optimus is very happy he won't be close enough to hear their goings-on tonight, because he suspects that Thrust gets very _loud_ when he is being pleasured. Not that he wants to think about cyclebots writhing in pleasure.

She turns to Grapple, and holds out her arms demandingly, "We're going to be doing a lot of walking. You get to have me on your shoulder today."

The cranebot looks relieved, "Yes, Priestess." He puts her on his shoulder, and drops back so Afterburner is next to him. "Where are we going first?"

She taps her mouth thoughtfully, "I'm thinking..." She points in a seemingly random direction, "There. That way. It has something the Allspark wants me to see. I'm betting it is something like a sealion. Or a unicorn. Maybe a narwhal?"

Optimus knows the creatures she is talking about, but the other bots clearly do not, and they just stare at her blankly before moving forward. "I'm not sure there is anything resembling a unicorn or a narwhal here, Sari." He glances at a sign as they pass, "But it does appear that we have a wild flock of laserhawks ahead."

She crosses her arms sulkily, "That's boring. Do any of them have horns? Magical luck horns? Are they attracted to virgins? We could use you as bait."

He rubs his optics tiredly, "No, Sari. There's nothing like that in bot folklore. You should know this. I gave you that datapa-"

She waves a servo dismissively, "It was boring. Blah blah blah Primus, blah blah blah Unicron, blah blah blah Allspark. _So_ _boring_."

"I understand that you were disappointed when you initially misread Unicron's name, but we do not have any-"

"Shut up. I am never going to be satisfied with robotkind until you show me a robot unicorn. Hopefully not one so big it'll eat planets for dinner." She blinks as a laserhawk zips by them, shooting a mild laser beam as a warning that they are encroaching on its territory. "Did that bird just shoot laserbeams out of its eyes?"

He nods, "They _are_ laserhawks, Sari."

She gives one a confused look as it lands on Grapple's shoulder to sit next to her. It lets out a loud cry before leaning on her, demanding to be petted. She groans as she pets the bird's head, "What is this Disney princess bullshit going on? I'm not going to break out into song am I?"

Optimus chuckles softly, ignoring their companions' confused looks, "Well, we don't have any seekers to join in, so I doubt it."

"Fragging lucked out there. Seekers can't sing worth a frag." She pushes the laserhawk away, and it scoots right back over, and another wings on by and lands on her other side, demanding petting. They're half as big as she is, or they'd be landing _on_ her instead. "What the frag is wrong with you birds. You shoot laser beams. Don't get all cuddly on me."

Optimus snorts, "If Bumblebee was here, he'd tell you how much they love you. But he's not, so I get to tell you how normally laserhawks shoot at their prey and tear them apart to fuel."

She makes a face, "That is _so_ _comforting_, Optimus. Thank you for telling me that."

Afterburner moves a clawed servo to pet on of the birds only to get a very nasty laser burn. The mech curses, and yanks away, "I don't think they like anyone but you, Sari."

"Typical." She pulls out an energon sweet and tears it in half, offering part to each laserhawk. They chirrup inquisitively, and peck at the candy, gulping it down greedily when they get a taste. "There. You've been fed, so you can leave now."

Primus. Perhaps they should have warned her that laserhawks tend to imprint on bots that offer them fuel. Especially if they already show interest towards that bot.

When Afterburner tells her that, she curses loudly, and tries to push the laserhawks away, "Shoo, you lousy birds. _Shoo_." They let out a piercing shriek, circling overhead before dropping back next to her. She glares at them angrily, "I don't want to take them home. How do I get rid of them?"

Grapple pulls out the datapad that Wildrider gave them, "We could com the guide and ask him what we do? He may tell you that we have to take them with us. Laserhawks are very loyal if you do this. Sometimes, it is just better to accept them than to try to leave them on planet. They're known to try to chase after a ship and offline."

"I don't _want_ laser-shooting birds for pets." Sari shoves them, and they go circling above, before landing on Afterburner's other shoulder, where she can't push them off. "Frag. Seriously, they're doing this because of a little bit of candy? That's so fragging stupid."

It is, a little bit, but one cannot change the core programming of a laserhawk. They were frighteningly loyal after capture. That was, after all, how most were obtained. They were captured, and then servo-fed. Granted, _that_ kind of way to get a laserhawk isn't half as effective as what Sari had. Those were going to be following her no matter what. This just makes it extra difficult to get rid of them. This is the loyalty where the poor things _will_ chase after the ship to their death since they want to be with the person so much they can't be without them. While with capturing and servo-feeding, the laserhawk will mourn but move on.

There is no moving on for a laserhawk that lands next to a bot to be fed.

Sari refuses to look over at the laserhawks, which she will need to give desginations to. They won't settle down until they have official desginations, and they're already twitching a bit, folding and unfolding their wingflaps unhappily.

"You should name them," Afterburner says softly as they walk further in to the laserhawk territory. The other hawks fly close, only to be viciously warded off by possessive laserhawk laserbeams.

She crosses her arms, "I don't _want_ them. They can just stay here with the other birds."

The racecar kisses her softly, "It isn't going to happen. Name them, and they'll be happier. They'll most likely keep the other animals away so you don't get _more_ of them. Just think of it that way. You won't have a cybercat come pouncing up to demand you pet it." The bot pauses, "Or you will, and it will eat your laserhawks." Another small pause, "And demand to be your pet."

She gives her consort a odd look, "What the hell?"

Afterburner shrugs, "They're all very odd."

"It is difficult to get most pets to react well with other species," Optimus warns her. "Only Rosanna has managed it, and she is a very special case."

She had used her lovely voice to woo them to her side, or so the stories went.

Optimus had his doubts about that.

Sari sighs loudly, "Fine. That one," she points ot the laserhawk with red piping on its wingflaps, "is Berry, and that one" the laserhawk with a green beak, "is Lime. There. They're named now."

The laserhawks let out cries of triumph, but Optimus isn't sure they should with names like that.

She leans on Grapple's helmet, "I'm not going to be happy if something eats them now that I named them. I should have given them number names, so I don't feel bad when they die."

Perceptor shakes his head, "A cybercat will not attack them as long as they remain on a bot's shoulder. Especially not one as large as Afterburner."

She sighs softly, "Whatever. I'm just expecting nothing good to come of this. I'll be more excited later on. When we _aren't_ surrounded by things that eat my giant metal birds."

One of them, Berry, hops over so he is beside her, and carefully leans in, pressing his head insistently against her side, demanding that he be petted.

She glares at him. "Fragging stupid bird." She presses a servo on his head and glows blue, and when she removes her servo, she reveals a bird absolutely covered in Allspark-blue paint. His black laserhawk body is now spark-blue with red piping. "There. Now I can tell you apart when you're up in the air."

Lime squawks unhappily, moving over to shove Berry off Grapple's shoulder to demand Sari mark him as well.

She glares at the bird, "Why? I don't even want either of you, and you demand this." The laserhawk shoves his head under her servo and she curses softly. "_Fine_. Fragging fine. I'll just make your green more glowy than Berry's red. I don't even care now." Her servo lights up and the laserhawk matches the other aside from the green. "There. You go flying or whatever the hell it is you do when you're not demanding cuddles."

They screech loudly and take off into the air, shooting laserbeams at the hundreds of other laserhawks that approach them, apparenty intent on wooing the pretty blue laserhawks.

They were very strange creatures.

The blue laserhawks spiralled up into the air together, touching their outspread wings together.

Oh.

"Did you realize you attracted a pair of mated laserhawks?" Optimus asks.

She looks at him bankly, then groans, "I don't want to _raise_ baby birdies."

He pats her gently on the side, "Well, it isn't like they don't know what to do. They know how to raise their sparklings. They'll take care of them."

She leans against Grapple sulkily, "I still don't like it. They could have just not come to bother me. I wouldn't have cared." Her voice drops into a low mutter, "I don't even get to see a unicorn. Where was that magical beast you promised me, Allspark?"

As if her words were all it took for it to come out, a strange creature comes prancing out of the treeline on silver peds. It's tall, and lithe, and supposed to be extinct.

Bright blue optics stare at them as the sleipnir shifts from one ped to another, which takes quite a while, seeing as it has eight of them.

Sari stares back, unimpressed. "It looks like an eight-legged silver deer. Am I supposed to care?"

The rest of them stare at it in shock, and Perceptor is clearly recording it with as much depth as possible, "Fascinating. I thought they were all offline and grey."

She looks at them all with faint disbelief, "Does this thing have anything specific it likes? Virgins? Prostibots that don't know to keep their servos to theirselves? Can it heal a broken sparkbond? Things like that."

Perceptor takes a half step closer to it, "It is said to heal, yes, but I don't know if it is true or not. I do know that it is supposed to be incredibly fast. And..." The sleipnir minces daintily into the group, "... and be very skittish and flighty."

"It doesn't seem skittish or flighty," she mutters, as sleipnir stops right in front of Afterburner and cranes its long neck up to look at her. "No. Frag off, I'm not feeding you and having you follow me home."

It rises up on its back four peds and places the first four on Afterburner's legs, trying to get closer to her.

Perceptor adjusts his glasses, "They were said to be very popular as pets for Priestesses back when they were still online."

She scowls at it.

Perceptor taps the tips of his fingers together, "They are incredibly loyal to Priestesses, Sari. It feeds itself and generally just likes to stay near a priestess and do what it likes. It is possible tha-"

She points a finger at the sciencebot, "You just want to _pet_ it!" She throws up her arms, "All I wanted was a vacation and now I suddenly have a husband, two more bots joining the group, and now _three_ _pets_." She glares down at the sleipnir, "Fragger. I should call you donkeybutt or something. But no. Your name is Loki. Because it is pretty clear what you're named after. Friggin' mutated deer."

The sleipnir drops onto all eight of its dainty peds and rubs its body against Afterburner's legs, weaving around and between them slowly. It then stops and stares over at Grapple, who stares right back.

Loki wanders over, much more hesitant now, and gently touches its forehead against Grapple's servo, encouraging the bot to pet it.

"So, what gender is my robo-deer? I don't see antlers, so is it a girl?" Sari kicks absently at Afterburner's shoulder. "I hope it doesn't eat weird stuff."

Perceptor adjusts his glasses, "They don't have antlers, Sari. He fuels on energon. If you give him some of the candy, I'm sure he will adore you even more."

She makes a face, reacing into Afterburner's subspace and throwing a energon candy at Perceptor. "You feed it, Percy. You're the one that wants to pet it."

The sciencebot holds out a servo wit the candy to Loki after regaining his balance from the surprise attack, "I don't kno-" The sleipnir minces over prettily, nibbling at the candy slowly. Perceptor's optics brighten, and the bot pets the creature softly, "I never thought I'd get to do this."

"I'm sure everyone will be fragging jealous." Sari shoos Berry and Lime away when they swoop back down to land beside her.

Perceptor hums, and pets the sleipnir, and then when it runs out of energon candy, it stops and stares at Optimus.

Right at him.

Optimus stays still, not wanting to startle it as it approaches him. The sleipnir stops directly in front of him, and cocks its head to one side, leaning in to sniff him.

Then it makes a delighted noise, like the sound of chiming crystals, and it _licks_ him.

He makes a face, "Do unicorns do this, Sari?" He never actually read up on many mythical beasts on Earth. He feels a bit like he should. All he knows about unicorns is that they like virgins and have one horn.

She shrugs, "I don't know. Unicorns aren't real, Opti-" She stares at him for a moment, "Is he trying to eat your servo?"

Optimus is yanking away ineffectively, "I think he _is_." He manages to pull away, "What is going on?"

She snaps her fingers, pointing at the ground, making Loki give her a long look before returning to trying to eat Optimus's armor. She hums thoughtfully, "I think it wants to eat your frame, Optimus. Someone get me a halter or something. This thing needs to be trained."

Perceptor stares at her with horror. "You're going . . . you intend to _ride_ it?"

Sari nods, "Frag yeah I'm gonna ride it. Or I'm gonna put a muzzle on it so it stops trying to feast on the flesh of virgins." She hops down from Grapple's shoulder, ignoring his protests as she makes her way over to the sleipnir. "Hello there, Loki. You're gonna let me ride you, right?"

It stares at her, and then reluctantly stops trying to eat Optimus long enough to sink down on folded limbs so she can climb onto his back.

She holds onto its neck, and shifts into a more comfortable position. "You need a saddle and a halter." She snaps her fingers, "Make me that halter, one of you."

They all look at each other in shock, not really sure how to respond to that. Streetwise snaps out of it fastest, pulling out a long length of cable that he fashions into a makeshift halter, and hands it to Sari. "Here you go, Priestess."

She takes it and puts it on Loki. She nods, "Maybe you aren't _completely_ useless, Streetwise."

"Thank you, Priestess."

The sleipnir tugs on the harness angrily, tossing its head from side to side. "Ain't gonna work, Loki. You get to wear it until you stop trying to eat my friends. I don't care if past Priestesses fed you fresh tasty virgins every day. You don't get them now."

The sleipnir makes its chiming sound again, rearing up on its back legs, and Sari yanks hard on the harness, until it drops back down, sulking.

Optimus moves out of the way, holding his servo, "I think I'm just going to stay away from Loki right now."

She nods, then points at Afterburner, "He's leaking. You know how to fix him."

The racecar makes a face, "I don't want to touch him." She glares, and the bot sighs, "Fine. I'll fix your stupid virgin prime."

Optimus moves away, "I can fix it on my own, I don't need to-"

The racecar grabs him, and starts to inspect his servo, "Your fingers are almost chewed straight through. I don't think I _can_ fix this, Sari. Why is Optimus so dumb about these things?"

"It's because he likes being a huge pain in the aft." Sari sighs, and reluctantly presses her fingers to her temple. "Hey, Wildrider, where's the medicbot for the resort?" She wrinkles her face up, "No, we didn't go fragging touching exposed wires. Just tell me where the fragging medic is."

Optimus pulls away, reaching into his subspace to pull out some patching tools, "I'm fine. I don't need to go to the medic. I just _went_ to the me-"

Afterburner picks him up, throwing him over his shoulder, "You're an idiot. I'm not going to let you damage yourself even more. I may not like you, but Sari gets upset that you're hurt. You worry her."

He freezes, "I don't mean to. I just-"

Sari rides Loki over to look at him face to face, "Well, it happens anyway. We're _going_."

"Fine." Optimus goes limp, letting the bot carry him. It's embarrassing as slag, but hopefully he'll be repaired quickly and Ultra won't have to hear a thing about it. He hates visiting the medics for things he can repair on his own. But he won't complain this time, just to get it over with as quickly as possible.

The sleipnir gives him a hungry look, and it snaps its denta at him.

This was going to be an interesting decacycle.

* * *

**Please Review**


	16. Chapter 16

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

He sits in the cottage that they were lead to, and sits at the table to glare at the energon cube in front of him. Grapple is sitting across from him, looking amused, "Don't you like it, Optimus?"

He pokes it, "This is highgrade."

Grapple waves a servo, "That is a medical grade highgrade energon filtered cube. Drink it and heal. The sleipnir almost took off your fingers, and you're lucky it didn't remove them completely."

He glares at the cube, "I still don't believe that if it had removed my fingers I couldn't have replaced them. It is easy enough to switch out an arm or servo."

"It is easier to _not have to_ switch them out." Grapple pushes the cube forward again. "Drink it up, or I'm fully willing to tattle on you to Sari. I bet she'd be happy to know you weren't fueling properly."

Optimus swallows down the contents of the cube as quickly as possible, slamming the empty cube on the tabletop. "There," he gasps, wiping his mouth with his repaired servo, "fragging there. I drank it. You can stop nagging now."

Grapple smiles behind his own cube, "Of course." The cranebot waves a servo over to one of the doors, "You _can_ take the adult berth if you want. I'm pretty sure Sari wo-" The bot pauses, putting a finger to his temple, and sighs after a moment, "Are you _sure_? I mean, it isn't that big of a deal to me. ... Oh. Yeah. I'll tell him, then. Yeah. Goodnight to you too, Sari."

He looks at the bot, "And what is it I need to know?"

Grapple rubs the back of his head, "The sparkling berth is actually supposed to promote healing. The sparklings are expected to get hurt a little bit as they rough house around the creature areas, so they made it so that the little bots heal when they recharge."

Of course. He sighs, "Very well. I will take my recharge there, and you will take the other berth. Go on," he waves the bot off, "recharge. I can see that you are weary. I need to call Ultra before I can go to my own berth."

A nod, and then, "There should be a console in there. A temporary one they put in for you to make your calls." Grapple shifts on his peds, "I think it might have sparkling safety protocols on it, so I would advise you to watch your language."

He sighs, "Right. I'll go there, then. It will add to the hilarity of me almost being eaten by a thought to be extinct creature."

Grapple pats him on the back, "Look at the bright side. Tomorrow, we can just not leave the cottage. At all. And Afterburner gets to deal with laserhawks and murderous sleipnir."

Now _that_ is a cheerful thought. He smiles, "Indeed." He stands up, "For the rest of the decacyle I can just focus on what I was planning on doing anyway."

He has a small toy model of Ultra halfway completed, and he wants it finished by the time he returns to his beloved, so he can give it to him as a gift. He's going to have to find a shop that specializes in toy paints, so he can capture all of Ultra's gorgeous colors in the figure. But for now, it's all flat, basic metal, with delicate gears that still aren't quite working properly. He also has a tinier flying model he's working on to show to Ultra, so he can keep Ultra's gift a secret.

He walks over to the room, and sets up the little model before punching in the frequency. When Ultra answers, he straightens up, saying cheerfully, "Ultra!"

His intended looks at his servo, and rubs his optics, "How did you get hurt this time, beloved?"

He frowns, "I got bit by a sleipnir." He waves his servo dismissively, "But that isn't what's important, what's important is tha-"

Ultra recovers from his shock to lean forward and interrupt, "A sleipnir? You ... I..." His love slumps down in the chair, "Those things eat virgins, and I thought they were all gone."

"The fact that one bit me is proof enough that at least one remains." He smiles brightly, "Sari has it as a pet now, so I imagine I will be watching my back a bit more until we bond." Until his spark was no longer untouched. His optics dim a bit, and Ultra revs over the screen.

"I miss you. And you _will_ be careful. Sleipnir are known for devouring virgins while they recharge. The planets known for having them developed cultures where bots were encouraged to interface as soon as they were capable of it."

He sighs, "I suppose I'll have to com Sari after this to ask her if I'm safe or what."

Ultra peers past him, "You're in a sparkling room. That should keep you safe, as well, love. The planets developed certain protections just in case. sleipnir don't eat sparklings, but it wasn't unusual for them to sneak into the room to curl up around them. Which was bad since it was like a crystal farmer walking into their garden and tapping the crystals to see if they were done or not."

Optimus shudders, "I'm glad we don't have any on Cybertron."

Ultra nods reluctantly, "Yes. They once brought a few for a zoo, and they escaped. It was... not nice to see afterwards."

"I see," Optimus desperately wants to change the subject now, especially since Sari has one of the beasts as a _pet_. "Would you like to know what I've been working on lately?"

Ultra frowns at him, expression as dour as if he'd just sucked on a sour energon square. "If you tell me you've been working on datapads or research that you should not even have on you, I am going to-"

Laughing, he picks up the flying jet toy, "No, beloved. I am learning to make toys. See?"

Ultra looks closer, smiling, "That's wonderful, Optimus. Does it transform? It looks like you have the seams for it."

He moves the wings of it, "Only partially so far, but I'm planning on making it transform completely. I'll need to get paints, as well."

Ultra smiles, "I look forward to seeing it finished. I'm sure it will look wonderful."

He blushes faintly, "Thank you, but you speak too highly when I'm only starting. I only got it this good because Perceptor helped me with it." He pulls out some of the tools, "He even gave me these so I could do a better job."

"He must see potential in you, then, or he would not devote his time to this. Perceptor does not enjoy wasting time with bots who will never develop the skills for it." His beloved chuckles self-deprecatingly, "He certainly did not tolerate my own fumbling attempts at toy making." Ultra waves large servos, "There is a reason why most toy makers tend to be smaller models, or have _claws_."

He looks down, "... oh." There goes his tiny hope that Ultra would want to take classes with him to learn how to fix things. He doesn't want to bring it up if Ultra doesn't think he's capable of it, so just shoves the thought away. Looking up, he smiles, "Well, I can make them. It is kind of relaxing, and I don't have to worry about being so absolutely terrible that I blow it up." There aren't any parts to fuel it up with, and he doesn't have to worry about breaking anything too badly.

Ultra touches the screen, "You aren't terrible at growing crystals, love. I blew up several when I first started, too. I just lost interest after awhile. I'll happily help you when you get home to me."

"Thank you," he touches the same spot as Ultra, and smiles at him, pushing all his worries aside. "I hope we do not blow up anything important. Perhaps we should start the lessons outside, just in case." Ultra's home is so lovely, he cannot imagine causing damage to it, even accidentally. "We could start to build ourselves a garden."

Ultra smiles, "As long as you allow me to plant a patch of red cora, I will be happy to teach you outside."

He flushes, looking down, "It... it can't be in the main part of the garden, and we should keep it small." He did some research on the crystal, and it is _very_ potent. He doesn't want to get caught up in a overheated frenzy to overload.

His intended smiles at him with dim optics, "It doesn't grow very fast, and we can put it off to a small corner. I just think it would be very nice to have our own bit to grow and use."

When he first read up on the crystal, he had wondered why the crystals weren't banned. It turns out they aren't addictive or dangerous like Love Bug, but he still worries a bit about it. It is a slightly restricted crystal for a reason. But, "As long as it doesn't get too big, I don't mind." A tiny bit to feed Ultra would be wonderful. He loves the idea of his beloved writhing with need under him and not able to take care of it without self-servicing repeatedly or being ridden hard.

He wouldn't object to very _rarely_ being bent over the crystals himself and having Ultra frag him there, or, he blushes a deep red, being ordered to rub his spark on them until he overloaded, feeding the crystals his energy to help them grow.

It was the best way to get them large and healthy after a short period of initial natural growth.

Ultra's grin widens, "I see you like the idea. We will _certainly_ invest in a patch of them."

He ducks his head again, "Sari has some for us already, remember?"

Ultra leans forward, optics dim, "It is never a bad idea to have a backup, beloved. We may end up feeding the entire thing to each other for our honeymoon." His love's engine revs softly, "I would not say no to..." Ultra stops, shaking his head, "I will leave this topic for when you are in my arms. Sari will not approve."

"No, she will not." Optimus lifts the little flying toy. "What colors should I paint this when I get it working?"

Ultra blinks at the sudden change of topic, but then studies the toy carefully. "Yellow. With bits of orange. You can give it to Firefly after you finish it. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

Optimus shakes his head, "Hardly. He's a seeker sparkling. He'll only notice that I made one of the wings lopsided."

Ultra frowns, looking at it closely, "I don't see it, but you can give it to Bumblebee, then. He'll like it."

He nods, "That is much more likely." He sets the toy down, "What did you do this sol?"

His beloved smiles bemusedly, "Wheeljack ended up destroying several of the seats in the council meeting area. I think he's worried about Perceptor. Do you know if he's called him?"

He shrugs, "I really don't know. I can ask him if you want, but I don't really know how I'm going to do that right now."

"Then he is . . . with Streetwise?"

Nodding, Optimus rubs his servos over his thighs, smoothing out a dent he just noticed. "Yes. He mentioned something about giving Streetwise to Red Alert, but I would recommend you keep that close to your chest. It is likely meant to be a surprise of some sort. You know how the sciencebots get."

Ultra chuckles softly, "Yes, I do. I'm sure she'll love him."

He shrugs, "I guess. Sari seems to really dislike Streetwise quite a bit. I'm not really sure why that is. I mean, she was just fine with him when he was in my room, but after that she wasn't very impressed."

His love shrugs, "Maybe she's upset about him planning something. I don't really know, either."

He leans forward, optics dimming, "It isn't really that important to me." He taps the screen lightly, "I love you."

"I love you too, Optimus. Be safe." He kisses his fingers and touches the screen, and Optimus mimicks the gesture. "I will speak to you in the morning, I hope. I miss watching you polish up for your sol. Will you deny me that again?"

Optimus flushes, and shakes his head. "The times of these planets synch up almost exactly. I would be happy to let you watch me polish."

Ultra revs softly, optics dim, "I will look forward to it, love."

The call disconnects, and he stands up slowly, deciding to look around the room. He rubs his optics when he sees a large stack of novelty sized blocks in the corner. He blinks in shock at the writing all the way around the top of the room, a small rhyme warning about how the sleipnir comes in your sleep and to be careful not to leave the room through the night. It even warns to call for help if you see a small flash of light in the window.

It is deeply unsettling.

Nowhere near as unsettling as the painted silhouette of a sleipnir directly above the only window, which is small and high on the wall. Normally sparkling rooms have many windows. Large windows to let light in. This room has a single window, nearly at the ceiling.

The silhouetted sleipnir has blue optics, and another line of verse below it, warning that a pair of blue lights is not a pair of friendly lights, but a sleipnir that comes in the night. His only consolation is that all the paint is rather faded, and has not been painted recently.

He climbs into the berth, and tries to recharge.

* * *

When he onlines, it is still dark out, and he blinks tiredly wondering why he is up. There's a sound of a soft tapping coming from above him. He's about to ignore it and go back into recharge when he looks up to see a pair of glowing blue lights. He rubs his optics, trying to remember what he's so worried about when there's a flash of light, and the painting lights up brightly, showing the silhouette of a sleipnir tapping at the window, trying to get in. He bolts up, remembering how the poem had warned him _not_ to leave the room, and yells, "Grapple!"

There's a loud curse and a clattering, and then the bot opens his berthroom door, stepping inside with wide optics, "What is it? What's wrong, what's. . . what are those lights at the window?"

Optimus shudders and looks up, and the blue optics are still staring in at him. "That is a sleipnir. I think we should warn Sari that her pet is on the loose, and trying to consume bots."

Grapple blinks at him tiredly, then nods. "Yeah, can do." The mech walks over to the com console, and puts in a frequency.

Sari answers it, looking grumpy, "What is it you want?"

Optimus peeks over the crane's shoulder nervously, not really feeling safe, and Grapple points to the ceiling window, "Loki is out here trying to eat Optimus. You need a leash."

Sari frowns, looking behind her, "What are you talking about? He's right here."

Optimus stares up at the blue optics, which are now fixed on the screen, and on Sari. "Then there is more than one. . ." he trails off as another pair of blue optics join the first at the window, gazing in at him. "I . . . frag. There are a lot of them." The console beeps loud and shrill at his language, and the sleipnir at the window startle and the lights disappear as they drop to the ground.

She rubs her eyes, "That's... that..." She pauses, flipping to bot mode and glowing blue, "Grapple, do not leave him, for he is not safe alone." She stops glowing blue, and makes a disgusted face, sticking out her glossa, "Bleh, I wasn't even awake for that one, Allspark." She rubs her optics, "But you heard it. No leaving Optimus by himself. I think the room needs to have the protections updated. Grapple being a sparkbroken bot will actually help keep the things' focus off of Optimus. They don't like a sparkbroken bot. They also aren't very bright and think that a healed sparkbroken bot will be a virgin again. Somehow." She sighs, "Which is why Loki looked all sad when he touched you. He was apperently going, 'Oh... you are not food yet. I can wait, I guess.' They're dicks like that."

Optimus looks at Sari blankly for a long moment, then asks, "Why are you keeping Loki, then?"

She flops down in a chair, "After awhile, they stop being hungry for virgins when they've been with a priestess."

"That's good, I suppose." He wraps his arms around himself. "But that doesn't help me much now." He looks up at the empty window. "You should contact Wildrider and let him know there are more. And . . I do not want to stay on this planet any longer. It is not relaxing in the slightest."

Sari nods, "Yeah. I guess that's true. So we'll go and find another spot to spend the rest of our time off at. Someplace nice, mind you. I'm not going to paperwork planet, or giant library planet."

He just hugs himself tighter, "I don't _care_ where we go. This planet has sparkling rooms warning about how monsters come in the night to test and see if you're edible yet. I'm glad I read it, but it doesn't stop it from being creepy."

She blinks at him tiredly, "Yeah, I understand. You just stay in the safe room there until I come get you in the morning. Ultra is planning on calling you, and I want you to to tell him that we're leaving as soon as possible after the call, okay?"

He gives her a small smile, "I can do that."

She smiles, "Good." She points at the berth, "The both of you need to recharge together. It will actually keep you both safer. I wouldn't be surprised if you had one testing you to see if you were," she shudders in disgust, "_ripe_ yet, for lack of a better word, while you were in the other room."

Grapple shudders, "That is . . . disturbing. No wonder sleipnir planets put such emphasis on interfacing. Why none of the cabins out here were designed for a single bot to stay in, and why single bots had to stay in the city. You were expected to have a lover or a family if you went into sleipnir territory at night."

Sari nods, "Yeah. Allspark's been telling me all about them, and about how loyal Loki will be after a vorn or two. But those wild ones. No way."

Optimus looks up at the window, "Why isn't this common knowledge? I always heard they're really good luck and it was a shame they were gone."

She sighs softly, "That's because they _are_ good luck. Just not to virgins anymore. They used to be used to tell who was a virgin until they started to _eat_ the bots they were protecting. They were pets to keep a sparkling safe. They fought off anything that attacked a sparkling."

Optimus flinches at a sudden flash of lights at the window, "Ultra said they were brought for a zoo to Cybertron and bots died because of it."

She nods, "Which is why they were killed off. No one should have one as a pet unless they can control it. Keeping it in a zoo isn't _controlling_ it."

The optics are back again, three pairs of them now, all crowding in and jostling for a better position to look inside. He understands why the windows are so small now. "Is there any way to make it go away?"

Sari taps her fingers on the table top. "Not ones that you can use. Sleipnir are frightened by bots overloading each other. They also dislike organic oils, which bots apparently used to rub on the windowsills to keep them from . . from doing that."

Optimus looks up to see the sleipnir licking the glass, Grapple shudders with him. The cranebot taps his fingers on his arm, "Could I put the oils on the sill?"

She shakes her head, "Not now. We don't want Optimus to be attacked. Not all the protections are up, since they thought the things were dead. You'll be fine if you stick together, and Optimus is against the wall as you recharge. Less room for him to be potentially attacked, and they have to go around a larger, inedible bot to do it."

Optimus nods slowly, "Okay. I just..."

She waves a servo, "Yeah, you're worried. I know. Just stay in the sparkling room, okay? It will keep you safer than any other room in the house."

"I still have-"

"Yeah. You have your weapons, and these things were designed to eat young bots who didn't know how to fight back. They're valuable, but it's totally legal for you to offline them if they attack. You stood against Megatron. You can handle a pack of hungry sleipnir."

Megatron had never wanted to _eat_ him, and Optimus wonders just how many there are outside.

Grapple pats him on the back, "Well, if it comes to a fight, I'm glad you're at my back, Optimus." The mech leans over, and waves at Sari, "Goodnight, Priestess."

She waves a servo, "Yeah, night. You guys sleep, I'm gonna call Wildrider. If he shows up, he'll call ahead. I wouldn't really trust calls of names, since apperently some of the older ones mimic a sparkling's name? I'm not really sure, and the Allspark says that's not true." She shrugs, "I'm inclined to believe it, but don't open to the call of your names, no matter the voice. It shouldn't be a problem, but better safe than sorry, right?"

"Yes." Optimus bids her a good night, and shuts off the console, to turn and stare up at the sleipnir, who all stare back at him. "Could you cover the window with something, Grapple? Maybe a blanket?" He doesn't want them watching him try to recharge.

Knowing there are creatures that want to devour his spark is terrifying.

Almost as terrifying as having dealt with Oil Slick and other bots in the past that have been known for consuming their foes' sparks after a battle.

Grapple stands up, taking a blanket, "I think I'll be ab-" The bot frowns, finger to his temple, "So we _have_ to keep it visible to make sure they don't break in?" Grapple sighs softly, "Yes, Sari." The mech turns back to him, tugging him into the berth, "We may have one break the window open, and we don't want to be caught unaware because the blanket caught it all to make it silent. That's why the window is up top, to give more warning if it breaks."

He shudders, "I can't imagine living on a planet with this going on."

Grapple nods, laying with him on the berth, "Neither can I."

"At least the window is too small for them to get into." He thinks. He is almost positive that the sleipnir are too big, which is why the window is built so tiny. When they get tall enough to reach the window, they are too large to fit inside.

Optimus shudders as the tapping starts up again, all around the room.

Grapple makes a face at the door, "They got into the house. Wonderful. Maybe we should demand that Perceptor and Streetwise come to protect us."

Optimus crosses his arms, "I'm not telling them to come 'face each other with us in here."

Grapple looks at the door shaking, only for it to die down slowly, "I guess..."

He nods, "We can recharge, and leave in the morning."

It takes megacycles for him to settle down enough for recharge, and when he does finally manage it, he's wrapped tightly in Grapple's arms, pressed up against the wall, and covered with a heating blanket that has a thick metal mesh on the outside of it.

* * *

**Please Review**


	17. Chapter 17

Someone asked for Skywarp/Optimus to be the next story I upload, but that just isn't going to be happening now. I can't focus on editing it. I'm going to choose a different fic to put up instead. I'm not sure what it will be, but I'll figure it out.

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

It's silent when he onlines. Blessedly silent.

Sleipnir are apparently nocturnal hunters, because when he looks out the window, there are none anywhere in sight.

Grapple is already online, sitting up, and pacing nervously. The cranebot looks at him for a moment before returning to pacing. Optimus sighs softly, "Do you think it's safe to leave the room yet?"

The mech shrugs, "I don't know. I could go look, but I'm kind of worried about what I'll find. If I take you with me, I'll draw more in, and if I leave you behind, they may get bolder and break in."

He looks at the berth, "Well, if we both go, we can defend ou-"

He cuts himself off to the sound of the door opening, and Wildrider steps in quickly. "Okay, you two, I'm told there's a sudden outbreak in sleipnir, and you both got the worst of it." They both nod, and the mech pulls out several cloths, some bowls, and very strong solvent. "You need to get cleaned up so that you aren't getting tracked by them. You're both in danger because you're a-"

Optimus rolls his optics, "Because I'm a virgin-"

"And I'm sparkbroken," Grapple cuts in.

A blink, and then, "Yes. Exactly. In any case, the sleipnir do not come out during the day, as it is when they are most vulnerable and easiest to attack them."

"But Loki came to Sari during the day," Grapple protests, and Wildrider wrings his servos nervously.

"Yes, but she is the High Priestess. Sleipnir do odd things around them." He holds out a box of shimmering powder, "I would recommend that you rub a bit of this on your sparks. It is Sleipnir powder, very rare since they were thought to be extinct. If a Sleipnir does manage to get you open, if they taste this on your spark, they will believe you have been interfaced by another marked bot, and it will distract their senses long enough for you to escape. Hopefully."

That isn't reassuring.

He takes the box, setting it on the side of the berth along with the other supplies. "Anything else we need?"

The mech shakes his head, "No. I'll be out in the main room to make sure you aren't attacked suddenly, anyway. Like I said, Priestesses make them act funny. I wouldn't be surprised if one tries to sneak out to get you anyway. Just call for me, and I'll be back instantly for you. I'm not doing a special knock or anything like that even if you want one. The things li-"

He nods, "Copy. I know. We got that. But they can't open doors?"

The bot taps the door, "See how the knobs are specialized? You need thumbs to get 'em open. No way to force open or anything like that. Thumbs are a requirement."

"It must be difficult for bots who do not possess thumbs, then. Or have enough fingers to turn the knobs." Optimus doesn't think that seems right, to exclude groups of bots from safety.

Wildrider shakes his head, "No. If you live here, you pay our taxes, and you are automatically enrolled for a modification to get something that will alow you to open the doors here. Even when we thought sleipnir were extinct, we followed this rule."

He nods thoughtfully, "And the visitors to the planet?"

The bot pulls out a datapad, "In the list of contact information I gave you earlier, it lists that you must have thumbs if you plan on visiting. We have every right to demand you leave if you don't." The datapad is handed over, the part showing this highlighted. "See?"

He looks it over, and nods, "Well, that does cover that. And the bots that want to visit but don't have thumbs are told to get a modification."

"Yes. If you get the mod and later move to our planet, we reimburse the credits for the procedure to the bots who have had it. It is the fairest way to keep our population safe." Wildrider smiles apologetically at them. "Please, go wash the dust off your armor and put a bit on your sparks. You may want to do this with fresh dust from the Priestess's sleipnir if you have to spend time with it in the future, Optimus Prime, sir."

He nods reluctantly, and Wildrider leaves the room. He looks down at the dust, taking some before offering the box to Grapple. The cranebot makes a face as he takes the box, "I don't think I like this fraggin' planet."

Turning away, he opens his plates to put the dust on his spark, "I don't either, and I'm not very fond of putting this on my spark." It feels ... odd. Makes him kinda sick, as well. He's a bit dizzy from it and it isn't the least bit fun. When he turns back, Grapple looks as disorented as he feels.

The bot drops in the berth, pulling a cloth over and pouring the solvents into one of the bowls. "Let's get this over with."

The solvent stings, but it's far from the worst thing he's ever cleaned himself with. It hurts more to think of the sparklings that had to undergo cleanings like this, when they would hardly understand why they were being polished with something that hurt so badly. At least the sick feeling is slowly fading away as his spark adapts to the dust on it.

He hopes the dust on his spark fades away by the time he bonds to Ultra.

They're about part way through when the console beeps. Optimus winces, he'd forgotten completely about comming Ultra. Reaching over, he turns it on and returns to scrubbing Grapple as the bot cleans him, "Hello, Ultra."

His intended looks at him in confusion, "Is... is there any reason you're doing such a harsh scrubbing this morning?"

Grapple hisses irritably as Optimus works on a scrape in the bot's armor, "We're cleaning to keep sleipnir away. No clue if it will actually work, though."

"The texts say that removing the powder will help," Ultra looks like he hasn't recharged all night long, and there's a stack of datapads beside him. "You _will_ leave that planet immediately, Optimus. If I have to order you as your Magnus, I will."

Optimus jerks up to attention, "Yes, sir. But I don't need an order to leave. I have no desire to stay here at all. I will return as soon as possible, after Wildrider finishes checking for sleipnir in the area."

Ultra looks relieved, "Good." His intended rubs his optics, "I don't trust the things, and I want you to stay as far away from them as possible."

Grapple and him make a face at that, and he works on the crane's helmet, "Good luck with that. Sari is keeping one as a pet. Called Loki."

Ultra's optics widen in shock and slight fear, "No. Optimus I don't want you to be in the same ship as that thing. You could offline, and I don-"

Grapple scowls, "We got told to use dust from it on our sparks to keep it from eating us."

Datapads go flying as Ultra pulls one from the middle of the stack and starts scrolling through it, expression unhappy, "That. . . might work. If the dust is harvested by the High Priestess herself. Otherwise it is inert the moment a normal bot touches it."

He stares at the dust in the box. "Then I sincerely hope this dust was harvested by a priestess in the past, or we put it on our sparks for no purpose."

Ultra studies the datapad, "Did you feel dizzy and kind of sick after applying it?"

They nod, and Grapple scrubs at Optimus a little harder when the bot finds a dent, "Yes. I almost fell over when it happened, and do you take care of your frame at all? You just went to the hospital and this happens."

He makes a face at the crane, and Ultra nods thoughtfully, "Then, yes. It should be okay. Sari is likely going to be asked to send dust to pretty much every sleipnir planet. She'll have to inform them of her preferences for consorts. Which is to say, for them not to send her any at all."

Otherwise she'd be surrounded by bots sent to Cybertron as offerings. Pretty racecar bots that she would have a difficult time turning down, especially if they are model class bots like Blurr.

Optimus just wants to go home. Curl up with Ultra on a berth and feel the warm pulsing of his spark through his armor, without worrying about a pair of blue optics peering in through his window at night.

He lets his servos drift over his sparkplates to clean them, aware that Ultra is watching.

Grapple grabs his servo, "Stop that. Your bot is half offline from worry, and you doing this won't help." The cranebot turns to Ultra, "You will call in sick this sol. Go recharge and know that Optimus can call you the very moment he gets to the ship."

Ultra blinks, "No. I need to go in. We have so-" his intended yawns, "some diplomats coming, and I need to warn them about sleipnir returning. It wouldn't be a good idea to just let that go unannounced. It will need to bring up old protocols that were out of use, and this is a sure sign that Sari is the High Priestess. Make it so they can't argue against it anymore."

He gets the sense that Ultra wants Sari to come to a council meeting riding on her sleipnir just to force the bots to accept her. It's not a bad idea, really. They couldn't deny her status then.

No one can ride a sleipnir other than a Priestess.

It is a simple fact that no bot could argue against. "I will inform her of that as soon as possible, Ultra." Optimus touches the screen. "Please, recharge for me now, sweetspark. You look so tired. You can reschedule the meeting for this evening instead."

Ultra blinks tiredly, "Let me watch you for a little longer, love. I miss you terribly when you aren't with me."

He smiles, not having the spark to deny his beloved. "Just for now, Ultra. But I don want you to recharge."

Ultra just nods, laying his arms across the console to rest his head, and watch Optimus with dim and tired optics. "Anything for you, my love."

He works on Grapple quickly, letting the mech clean him a little faster as well. He thinks he should say something, but everytime he's about to start, he see's Ultra dozing with dim optics at the screen, and he can't bring himself to say anything. When they're finished, Sari strides into the room, and glances over at the console, "Good. Get up, Ultra." The bot starts online, blinking rapidly, and she continues before Ultra can get his bearings, "You're going to go to bed. Sleep. You don't need to deal with this bullshit today, but you need to be fully rested tomorrow."

"I. . . yes. I won't be very coherent at the meeting today if I go with a spark full of worry." He kisses his fingertips and touches the screen. "Be well, my Optimus. I will contact you later this sol."

Optimus returns the finger kiss, and watches the screen go dark. "Why did you interrupt, Sari? I was talking to him, and-"

"And he needs the rest more than that. He's an old bot. Ancient old. Crumbling to bits old. You should let your old man love rest."

He gives her a dirty look, "He isn't that old, Sari."

She waves a servo, "We've been over this. Everyone is old. This is how it is." She points at Grapple, "You're clean." She points at Optimus, frowning for a half moment, "And you're clean." She claps her servos together, "Time to go to the ship. I gave the planet a supply of Loki's dust to refresh what they had left. What you guys got should work for now, so keep it with you, Grapple. Optimus should be perfectly safe in his room in the ship."

"Safe from Loki?" Grapple asks, and Sari snorts.

"The Allspark showed me how to turn off the spark-nomming part of his processor. I have to do it ever single fragging sol until it eventually fits into his code like normal. He might lick Optimus, but if Optimus showed him his spark, Loki wouldn't remember what to do with it."

That was far more reassuring than having a saferoom.

He hands the dust to Grapple, who puts it in his own subspace, and they walk out of the cottage. Sari is picked up by Afterburner the moment she's out of the building, and covered in kisses. She giggles loudly, cuddling her consort close, "Silly bot. I was barely gone." Afterburner just nuzzles her again, murmuring something softly that gets him a kiss.

Turning away, Optimus sees that Perceptor is looking at Loki with calculating interest, so he walks over to the science bot to hear what the mech has to say. He's kind of disappointed to hear, "You really aren't that bright, are you? I was hoping you'd be something wonderful, but you're just a multilegged and dumb turbohorse."

Loki looks significantly less shiny today after being de-dusted, and it makes an unhappy chiming sound before rubbing all over Perceptor, licking his chest after, only to make the unhappy chime again.

Sari doesn't even bother looking over. "Yeah. I get it. You don't have your dust and you're very upset about it. I really don't fragging care, Loki."

The sleipnir stamps its peds.

Optimus looks away, "Are we going back to the ship, then?"

Sari nods, "Yeah, just waiting for Berry and Lime to show up. I told them to go hunting before we left, and I don't want them to die of sadness." She cuddles against Afterburner sulkily, "Which is what Allspark says will happen if I take off without them with me." She looks much less upset as the racecar kisses her frame, "I can just leave Loki in one place after I have his programming set, while the laserhawks will want to follow me at almost all times." Her optics flicker and venting hitches at something Afterburner did to her winglets, and she tugs away, "Stop that. I don't care that we got woken up last night. We'll do that later."

"If you are certain, Sari," he says, tone full of regret. "I do not like waiting to pleasure you. You had to wake up early to collect Loki's dust, and I didn't even get to mmph," he's cut off by Sari's fingers in his mouth.

"Seriously. Another word out of you, and I'm gonna have to come up with some creative punishments for you not being able to shut up about private things."

Afterburner's optics dim and engine revs softly, "Of course, my Priestess."

She sighs softly, "Whatever." She slips out of the racecar's arms, and walks over to Optimus, "This will go faster if you take me back to the ship. You guys go in vehicle mode, and Loki, Berry, and Lime will catch up."

Optimus is about to point out that her laserhawks aren't here, when Lime dives into his line of sight.

It drops a petrorabbit at her peds, and she stares at it blankly.

"No. Just. No." She turns away from it and Lime screeches, diving down to pick the petrorabbit up again. Sari waits for Optimus to transform down, and slips inside him. There are immediately two laserhawks shooting laserbeams at him, and Optimus curses and tries to dodge as best as possible.

Sari just sighs and opens one of his doors, allowing Lime and Berry to hop inside. She glares at them as they settle in. "Stupid birds."

* * *

When they get to the ship, Optimus instantly goes back to his room when he lets Sari and her pets out. She waves at him vaguely, just like how he does in return, but doesn't pay much attention due to Afterburner grabbing her and kissing her.

He makes it into his room without incident, and closes the door very firmly. He kind of wishes there was a way for him to lock the door securely, since Loki kept looking at him with hungry optics the entire time he was driving.

He realizes that it won't eat him right now, but it is still slightly freaky to be looked at like a snack.

Optimus settles down at his desk and places his Ultra figurine out. He's going to get work done on it, and it should help him calm down about the fact that there's a virgin-eating monster on board the ship, just waiting for Sari to forget to refresh his coding.

On the upside, Optimus knows he can offline the beast if he needs to, because he's certainly had to fight worse things on training missions. It can't possibly stand up to some of the Decepticons he had to take down. He'll most likely have to do a temporary offlining, since Sari will be upset if Loki goes grey.

But if it goes for his spark, all bets are off.

He pulls out all of the various datapads Perceptor gave him and the tools as well, and settles in to work.

* * *

**Please Review**

Well, as I said up top, I'm not going to upload the Skywarp/Optimus fic after I finish uploading this one. I am getting really tired of editing it, and I don't want to deal with it right now. I'm going to choose another fic, and you guys will get that one. Possibly Optimus as twins or Robots in Clothing, or the Reflector/Kup one we just finished that has sparkling carries being incredibly rare. Maybe something else entirely.

That was not me asking for a vote, but you are welcome to say which one you like. It may influence the one I upload after next. ... If you really want, I could write out a list of stories that we have finished, but need to be edited. No promises that the one you want gets put up anytime soon, but it could be put in the next chapter. I mean, we have written up to chapter twenty. You'd know this if you looked at the masterlist on my journal. Has how many chapters I have to upload listed.

Also, I wanted to thank you all for the massive amount of reviews we got yesterday. It was wonderful to read them all :3 I just wish that ffdotnet wouldn't strip out email addresses on anonymous reviews. I would love to be able to reply to those. But, like I said before, I can reply to them on my journal if you want to do that there. _Thank you all so much!_


	18. Chapter 18

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

A few megacycles later he blinks when there's a sound coming from the console, and it takes him a moment to realize that he's getting a call. He covers his work area with a cloth to hide it, and moves to turn it on. Ultra is on the screen, looking rested and no longer so terribly worried. "Optimus."

Resting his head on his servos, elbows on the console, he leans forward. "Ultra." He raises an optic ridge, a tiny smile on his face, "Any reason you felt you needed to talk to me?"

His beloved smiles, "I need a reason to talk to you now?"

He shakes his head, "No, I am always happy to see you. I was just wondering why you aren't in recharge, since it hasn't been that long since you went to take a stasis nap."

His intended waves a servo dismissively, "I'll recharge more later. I wanted to make sure you were safe."

"I am very safe. Sari even plans on testing it tonight, having me 'alone' in a room with Loki to test if he will attack when he thinks he is alone and I am in recharge. Of course, Sari and the others plan to be nearby, ready to 'save' me if they need to."

He shudders. He had not been happy when he was told of this plan, and was still not happy with it.

"Absolutely not," Ultra growls. "They will not use you for the test."

He sighs softly, "It will be fine, love. They won't let the sleipnir hurt me."

His intended glares, "_No_. I will not allow this at all. In fact," the mech reaches over to a button, "I'm going to tell Sari this." His bot hits the disconnect, and the screen goes dark.

He wonders how long it will be until he gets a call about that.

He turns back to his desk, and settles in to work on the Ultra toy again. He's having a bit of trouble getting the transformation to flow, and he needs to read up how to fix that.

"Optimus, your boyfriend is nagging me," Sari complains, and Optimus looks up, shocked to find the console has autoconnected and made it a threeway call. "Tell him I'm not trying to make him an old, lonely man by feeding you to my pet." She pauses, "He's already an old, lonely man. I don't have to help with that."

Venting slowly, Optimus hides his toys from view. "I will be fine, Ultra. I promise."

Ultra crosses his arms, "I will _not_ allow her to do this to you! She's already put you in danger by _leaving_ you on planet when it was already proven you had been attacked!"

Sari huffs, "He was in a sparkling room, and he can kill the things pretty easily! They aren't as dangerous as Decepticons. He also had Grapple, who isn't a slouch when it comes to fighting, either!"

Optimus is glad they're focusing on each other, so he can finish hiding the toys. "And I have permission to take out Loki if they don't get to me soon enough. You don't need to worry."

"I am not worried that he will kill you, Optimus. I am worried that you will be injured. There is no need to test him that way. Test him in controlled circumstances on Cybertron, with a false-sparked drone."

He touches the screen. "Be calm, beloved. I will be safe. Please do not worry about me like this. I know the risks I am taking, and I take them gladly."

Ultra shakes his head, "You take _too_ _many_ risks that you shouldn't have at all. You should stay safe, and that... that... _murderous_ _beast_ shouldn't be near you at all!"

Sari crosses her arms angrily, "Loki isn't murderous with the programming I'm putting in him. This is just to make sure, and I'm certain that it will be perfectly safe!"

Optimus wonders why he has to be in this conversation at all when Ultra slams his servos on the console, "No, it _isn't_! He could offline and you're just playing with his life!"

Sari huffs, "Optimus, I'm going to go now. You can talk to your stupid boyfriend some more if you like. Show up for the test tonight." Her half of the screen goes black, and then Ultra's takes full screen once more.

Being treated like a sparkling is not attractive or pleasant, and he won't let Ultra do that to him. "I will be fine, Ultra. At worst, I will be bitten, and we will know that Loki is not safe. I would rather find that out now than later."

Ultra looks at him with a worried and hurt expression, "I just wish that I could be _with _you as this was happening. You're off planet, and you've been hurt so many times. Now she's putting you in danger when you have no need to be."

He rubs his optics, "I will be safe. The medical drones actually have a plan for sleipnir bites. That's the reason we aren't doing it near a planet with a hospital."

His intended gives him a blank look, "They... they have a plan for this?"

"Apparently they plan for everything, and charge top rates because of it." Optimus still doesn't mind. He wasn't using the credits for anything else, and this is as good a use as any. "We will be fine. If it makes you feel better, I can send a copy of the security feed to you afterwards."

Ultra nods, "I would appreciate that."

He smiles, "Good." He points to the door behind Ultra, "Now go back to recharge. You look tired, and I want you well." When Ultra is about to protest, he points more emphatically, "_Berth_. You're going to recharge, and stop worrying. I'm not going to get hurt, and you need it."

His intended gives him an amused smile, "Fine, but only because I love you."

He smiles back, "I love you, too."

Ultra dims his optics, "Return to me as soon as you can, sweetspark. Your spark will not seem so tasty to the sleipnir after we bond. When you are filled with my sparkling." He touches the screen again, "Be well, Optimus. I will speak to you again tonight. Call me after you test your sleipnir, or I will be forced to call you in a panic."

He shakes his head, "You're worrying over nothing." He touches the screen back, "I'll com you, anyway." He tilts his head at the door, "Now go, or I'll com Red Alert so _she_ demands you go to recharge or have you get a check up."

Ultra's optics widen, and his servos go up in a move of surrender, "Alright, alright, I'm going. No need to go to such drastic measures."

"Recharge, Ultra," he orders, and shuts off the screen to stop Ultra from trying to get out of it.

Optimus sighs, and works on his toys, waiting for Sari to call him to test Loki, who is apparently wandering the ship, hunting for virginbots or something equally nefarious.

Laying down on the berth with his optics offline and venting slow and even, Optimus thinks this may have been a bad idea.

Loki is sniffling around him, and he can't see it. The sleipnir got let in less than a klik ago, and he is very worried about it. He'd be shaking if he wasn't focusing so hard on remaining calm. The creature slowly makes its way over, and there's a inquisitive lick on the bottom of his ped.

It takes all he has not to jerk away.

The sleipnir makes a confused sound, and snuffles around the room again before returning to him. It sits there for a long moment before licking him again, right on the sparkchamber. It sits there in silence before clambering onto the berth and curling around him.

Optimus settles down a bit, and Loki periodically licks him, making soft, chiming noises of confusion.

"Well, it looks like the code works just fine," Sari says, stepping out from behind the metal partition in the room. "He's not even trying to nibble on you."

Loki plants several peds over Optimus and hisses, a set of fine, thin appendages raising up, rattling along the sleipnir's back.

He sits up, and Loki gives him a horribly confused look for a moment before returning to hissing angrily at Sari and the others walking in. Sighing softly, he nudges the sleipnir, "Is it trying to scare you away to see if it can eat me later?"

She shakes her head, reaching over to yank Loki off the berth, "He's trying to protect you. Like he was originally supposed to. Sparklings and virgins were supposed to be kept safe, then the things found out virgins sparks were delicious, and started trying to _eat_ what they were supposed to protect."

Grapple covers his mouth to hide his smile, and does a poor job of it. "They, hah, they were used by nobles to keep their teenbots from interfacing and ruining arranged bonding negotiations. Or so the datapads say. There isn't much information on them anymore."

Loki hisses at them and tries to make his way back to Optimus, managing to lick him again. "He seems very confused."

She yanks the sleipnir away again, "That's because the programming just got reinstituted. After about half a vorn, it will just accept it. I'll have to keep putting in the programming so he doesn't revert, but after awhile it will just remain there. I should have taken more than one, really, but I'm not fucking dealing with more than one right now."

He sighs softly, "Language, Sari. Please?" He knows that she's trying to get better at not cursing in any culture, but it is easier to focus on human right now.

She sticks out her glossa at him, but doesn't curse again. "I need to get used to Loki before I get another."

Loki minces over to him and rubs against Optimus, and Optimus glances down, noticing a faint shimmer to his armor. "I think he's regained his dust."

The sleipnir rubs against Grapple as well, licking him inquisitively, chiming loud when he nears his sparkplates. "This thing is a pervert," Grapple complains, pushing it away from him. "I don't want it doing this to me."

Sari waves a servo dismissively, "I'm putting it in the same room as Berry and Lime. You won't have Loki harassing you."

Optimus smiles at the thought of the laserhawks zapping the sleipnir, and judging by Grapple's expression, the cranebot is just as happy about it. He slips off the berth, "I'm going back to _my_ room. I need to com Ultra and tell him he worried for nothing."

She snorts, "Tell him that I told him so."

"I will consider it, Sari." He has no intention of provoking his beloved that way.

Optimus makes his way to his room, and hopes that the next planet they visit will be less dangerous. He wants a chance to relax, even if it is in a giant library or a quiet datapad shop. Some place where he will not be harassed constantly.

He sits in front of the console, and pushes in the frequency. He sits there for a long moment before Ultra turns it on. He's about to speak when Ultra rushes out, "Oh-thank-Primus,-you're-okay."

Optimus covers his mouth with his servo, hiding his smile, "Careful, love, you're channeling Blurr."

His intended gives him an amused look, "I'll slow down for you." Ultra smiles, "But you're okay? I want to know if that monster tried to eat you."

He gives Ultra a confused look, "No. It just licked me a few times before climbing on top of me and trying to protect me from Sari."

Shock plasters itself across Ultra's face. "It what?"

Optimus bites his lip to stop a laugh. "It apparently reverted to its original code for virgin protection. Sari had a very hard time separating him from me."

Ultra lets out a hard vent in disbelief, "Really? I . . well, I'm glad you are unharmed, sweetspark. Sleipnir do not make good guardians."

He shrugs, "Well, I can understand that. It attacking bots for getting near even when they only have good intentions is problematic."

Ultra shakes his head, "No, I mean that even the most loyal seeming sleipnir are dangerous and will happily try to kill you at a moment's notice."

He scratches his head, and shrugs; Ultra must have read that in the datapads. "Sari will keep the programming in check. We'll be going back to Cybertron, and we don't want Loki going after sparklings or other virginbots, after all."

"If she chooses to keep it, she will be held responsible for whatever damage it may cause," Ultra warns. "Those are laws I cannot change. If it offlines a bot, she will be considered the one who offlined the bot."

Optimus is positive they won't need to worry about that. "Yes, beloved. I understand. And I do not believe he will be a risk to any bot on Cybertron unless they attack Sari." He pauses and considers Loki's reaction, "Or if they try and have their way with a virginbot in front of him."

Ultra chuckles, "Of course." His intended sighs, "Sari is going to try to keep him with you at all times, you know."

He shakes his head, "No. She'll keep Loki locked up in his room with Lime and Berry."

"Lime... and Berry?" Ultra leans forward, confused.

He nods, "Pair of mated laserhawks that landed next to her and she fed. She hadn't realized they'd bond with her."

"Ah. Yes, many bots have ended up with laserhawks as pets because of that. If the hawks sense a purity in your spark, they are said to be drawn to you. I am surprised you did not end up with one as well, Optimus."

He blushes at the compliment. "Lime and Berry did a very good job of keeping all other laserhawks away from us. None got close enough to be fed, and then Loki showed up."

His love smiles, "Well, that would explain it. It may be for the best that you don't have one, anyway. No need for it to try to eat Aquafire."

Optimus shudders, "I'd hate for that to happen. Sure, you can program them not to, but I'm not really fond of reprogramming something that really is basic instinct. At least with Loki, they were originally meant to keep virgins _safe_."

Ultra nods, "But with Sari, they'll return to that with enough work." His mech makes a face, "I still don't like that it is so near to you. I wish you'd just come home."

"I know, beloved. I know." Optimus wants nothing more than to curl up on his lap and soak up the heat of his spark and engine. Maybe have his headfins nibbled on a little bit. "But I will be home soon. We have to be patient." He dims his optics, "They say that separation makes the spark grow fonder. It has certainly made mine more . . eager."

Ultra revs at that, "Well, I must agree with that." Fingers touch the screen, "It is getting late, Optimus. Go recharge and think of me."

He touches the screen as well, "You, too. Love you."

"Love you, too." The screen goes dark, and Optimus stretches.

Standing up, he heads to the berth. He _is_ tired, and it has been a long sol.

* * *

**Please Review**


	19. Chapter 19

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

Yst is enormous, and made almost entirely of labyrinth-like libraries and datastorage facilities that have completely captivated Perceptor. Optimus is entirely unsure if they will manage to wrest the sciencebot away from the planet anytime this vorn.

Streetwise is amusing himself with slipping ancient literary erotic files into Perceptor's science stack. He enjoyed the reactions Perceptor gave when he made it halfway through one of the files before realizing it was nothing but filth.

The sciencebot slips into the seat next to him, glaring at the other carbot, and murmurs, "You're a much better behaved companion than he is at the moment."

Optimus snorts, continuing to look through his genealogy texts, "I'm glad to know I'm trusted not to try to get you revved."

Perceptor flickers his optics at him, "Aren't I pretty enough to have you try, Optimus?" The mech leans his head on Optimus's shoulder, "I guess I'll just have to content myself with Streetwise, 'Jack, and Red. Oh woe is me."

He's just going to take that as a joke, since it is incredibly hard to tell with such a flat and monotone voice.

"If I have to work to get you revved, it isn't worth the effort," he says mildly, pushing Perceptor away so he can reach for the next datapad. He is trying to see if he can't find any living members of Ultra's family to invite to their bonding ceremony. The public part that involves feasting and celebration and lots of sculpted crystal centerpieces, at least.

Streetwise drops on his shoulders, "Working on getting your partner revved is part of the fun. You must be incredibly boring in the berth."

He pushes the bot off, "You're not who I'm trying to impress, and Ultra has no problem with me."

Streetwise looks like he's going to protest when Sari shows up and taps the carbot on the back, "You shut your face and stop harassing them. Be glad that Cyclonus and Thrust are too busy right now for me to tell them to deal with you."

Thrust and Cylconus are interfacing nearly nonstop now, fueled up with their recent sparkbonding, It makes them insufferable when they are forced in public for too long, because they sneak off to interface at the slightest chance.

Optimus is sure that he will not behave so shamefully with Ultra Magnus. He has dignity, and he won't allow his beloved to spread him out over his desk and frag him where anyone might walk in, no matter how much Ultra might beg for it.

He returns his focus to the datapad before he can let his processor wander to having Ultra use his spark repeatedly.

Sari sits next to him, looking at the pad he's holding in his servos, and tilts her head thoughtfully. "Allspark says you aren't going to find what you want in this one." She pushes him a different one, "But this will help. It also won't tell me what you're doing. Should I be worried?"

"No." Optimus doesn't want to explain what he's trying to find. If he can't find any bot, he doesn't want anyone to know that he was looking at all. It would only end in tears for everyone involved. Better that he doesn't drag them all in to the hunt. "I am only doing research. Thank you for the datapad." He opens the files and begins to scroll through them, hunting for any record of Ultra's family. He had already known that it would be difficult. Most Magnus's have their family history well-hidden to protect them.

But just by being _him_, he can get access to information no one else can. He's high enough up that no one will think he's going to do something horrible with the trail of information. Especially since it is well known they're bonding.

He's glad that the Allspark is hiding it from Sari, though. It makes it more of a personal gift if he does all of this himself, rather than her asking the Allspark and it telling her if they're bonded to a bot and how to get there. It can't really track a bot down any other way, though. Not unless it is a bot with an Allspark shard stuck in it.

It depresses him how he hadn't been able to get the bots out of the Decepticon base that had been experimented on by Scalpel. The Doctor had taken to seeing just how _late_ a bot could be brought back with a shard in them. The results were... gruesome to say the least.

A few had survived. One had survived with their sanity mostly intact, but the others . . it had been a kindness, removing the shards from what was left of them. Even if it had hurt his spark to do so. No bot deserved to be forced to continue on the way those bots had. To have their consciousness repeatedly pulled away from the Well . . it was beyond unthinkable.

He wasn't sure how Starscream and the clones survived it, save that they did not have their shards removed, and then forced back into their armor shells over and over.

He shoves the thought away. There's no sense dwelling in the past when it has been finished for awhile now.

He returns his focus to the datapads, only looking up whenever Sari hands him a new one or a cube of energon is pressed into his servos.

It is several megacycles later that he's traced together a very fragile line to follow back. He _thinks_ they're on ... Haydon IV.

He almost stops searching right then. He had sworn to never return, and he has no intention of breaking that vow. He will _not_ go to that planet ever again, and doesn't care what is on it. There could be a perpetual motion machine there, and only he could collect it. He still wouldn't go.

But . . .

This might be his only chance to find Ultra's family. Or at least provide closure and let Ultra know they are offline, if he can discover that instead.

It looks like he will be returning to that cursed planet again. Fragging fate hates him.

Optimus places the datapad on the table and offlines his optics. At least it appears that his family is in one of the better districts. Not the wealthy ones, but not the industrial slums where Optimus grew up.

A cold comfort.

He is touched lightly on the arm by a tiny servo, and he forces himself to relax. "Yes, Sari?"

She rubs his arm soothingly, "Are you okay? You're shaking."

He takes a deep vent of air and says, "I may have found what I'm looking for."

She looks at the datapad curiously, "What's on Haydon IV? And why would you be upse-" She tilts her head, optics flashing blue with an information dump from the Allspark, and when she returns to herself, she hugs him. "It was an accident, you know. Your creators were willing to take risks so you could get a better life. They'd be proud of you for how far you've gotten."

"I like to think so," Optimus murmurs, "but they did not get to see me enter the Academy." He ducks his head, "I suppose that's good, as they did not see me leave it in disgrace, either."

Sari pets his shoulder, "Hey, don't be like that. They'd be happy to have spent more time with you. Just like . . just like my dad would have wanted more time. But things happen, and it's okay." Another hug, "Why do you want to go there? Do they have a gravesite or something?"

He shakes his head, "I don't even have the gears that I should have since they were smelted down in a unsafe work area. They fell in and no one even bothered _trying_ to save them I have nothing to remember them by aside from sparkling memories. I hate this planet."

She hugs him, and he tugs her close to his chest to return it. She pets him softly, "You don't have to go, you know. I'm sure whatever you found there isn't worth digging up such terrible memories of the place."

He moves the datapad so they both can look at it easier, "Ultra may have family there, Sari. I don't want to just leave them if I can help it. What if they don't know and want to meet him?"

"They don't know that they have _Ultra fragging Magnus_ as a relative? I find that kinda unlikely." Sari scoffs and waves a servo, "But if you want, we can go there. I doubt any bot there remembers you after so long, so we don't have to meet any of them." Sari pats his head, "I can even make you super shiny and make sure we stay away from the areas you hate."

Seeing as he hates the entire planet, that would be rather difficult.

He rubs his optics tiredly, "I guess we could take some of the space bridges there if you're willing to go on the vacation."

She smiles, "Sure. I already went through all the other ones I was planning on going to this time. Now we're just waiting for Cyclonus and Thrust's mad need to 'face to get over with. I'm not dealing with them in my house." She pauses, "That and Grapple to finish getting healed. He's almost there, but not quite. I'm sure going to Haydon IV will kinda help. It won't take too long, even though we're so far away. Bulkhead being part of the spacebridge engineers and crew _really_ helped bring up more."

He was exceptionally skilled at constructing and linking the bridges. With that 'femme' of his.

"Then we will go to Haydon later, after we manage to pry Perceptor away from his datapads."

Sari makes a face, "No worries about that. He's over a few floors up being 'faced by the whorebot. Who somehow convinced him it would be hot to do it in a library. Fragging pervbot."

He sighs softly, "How did that happen? It _is_ against the rules."

She makes a face, "That's most likely why it happened. Making prostibot more insistent. I'm kinda hoping the jerk gets banned from returning."

He sighs, "Not happening when he came on planet with you, Sari."

She crosses her arms, "I hate that."

Optimus hides a smile of amusement. "You poor thing. I'm sure they'll finish soon, and we can get going." He tucks the datapads into one of the collection bins for the drones to put away after bots use them. He's certainly not the kind of bot to leave them laying scattered all over the place. "Did you want to get a bit of energon at the shop before we leave?" he asks Grapple, who is busy skimming a datapad on construction practices.

The cranebot looks over at him, and nods, "Sounds good to me. I could do with some fuel, and I wouldn't mind trying whatever local blend they have here."

Sari makes a face as she sits on his shoulder, "It isn't nearly as good as the stuff on the ship, or so the Allspark tells me. And this is a purely robotic planet with no organic stuff for food at all. I'm not really inclined to stay."

Her pouts at her, "But I _like_ plainer energon, Sari. You know this."

She crosses her arms, "You'll just get stuck in your room for even longer if you do."

"I'm going to be stuck there anyways. It's going to read my unhappiness as an illness and make me stay there for ages. I might as well enjoy the energon I drink before that happens."

Sari scowls at him. "Fine. Get yourself locked in forever. I can override it and make it let you out at Haydon, if you're trying to avoid going all passive-aggressively."

He makes a face, "I hate that planet."

She pats him on the side of the head, "I know." She leans against him, "Put me on the floor, I'm gonna go have Afterburner come down to help me break up whorebot and Percy."

He does as she says, and sighs, "Just try not to hurt Streetwise too badly."

She scoffs, "He'll just get cooled down. No damage at all."

Wincing, Optimus does not envy Streetwise such a fate. It will likely hurt _very_ badly, but cause no damage to his spark. "I'm not sure Perceptor will appreciate Streetwise's spark suddenly going icy cold, Sari."

Sari sticks out her glossa, "Whatever. He'll have to deal with it, and maybe it'll teach him that Streetwise needs to start following rules if he wants to be a guardbot."

He's pretty sure that Streetwise has no actual intention of becoming a guardbot. Just like he's sure that Sari knows it, and is punishing the carbot for not following the only real condition she had for the bot to stay with them. He's not going to get in between them, though. Afterburner is happy enough to do it for him, and he's glad to be less one responsibility.

He waves a servo at her, "Have fun." She nods, and he takes Grapple's arm, walking out of the building. "Do you know where the shop is?"

"Over to the left, a floor down, I think," Grapple says absently, still skimming his pad. "I didn't really pay attention to the maps. But the layout of the place means there should be either a shop or an information desk down there, so we'll find out one way or another."

He continues to lead the mech through the place, stopping Where he was told, and spotting a energon shop. "Any specific type that you'd like?"

The mech shakes his head, "Nope. I'm pretty good with anything. Something with crystals would be nice, but I'm not really picky."

He nods, walking to the counter, "Like metal flake?"

Grapple shakes his head, "Not with the crystals."

The service droid gives them a mechanical smile, "How may we serve you this sol?"

Optimus studies the menu. "One regular energon and one house crystal blend, please. Add a rust stick to the crystal blend if you have them." He waves off Grapple's attempts to pay, and swipes his credit pad. "I have credits to waste, and I offered. You can buy some other time."

Grapple looks like he's about to protest, but stops when the energon is handed over. He gives the cranebot the cube, and walks over to a table. When they sit down, the mech murmurs, "Any reason why you hate Haydon so much? If you don't mind telling me?"

He's not getting into this. It isn't something he has any interest in talking about. "Ask Sari." He changes the subject, "You feeling better? Spark no longer feel so very torn?"

The mech accepts the new topic farly easily, "Still hurts, but not nearly as bad as when Sari first got to me. I'm going to be ready for work soon enough."

"I'm happy for you." Optimus tips his energon cube at Grapple. "But don't force yourself to go back too soon. It won't be any good for you."

Grapple arches an optic ridge. "You're a hypocrite, Optimus. You would go to work with one of your arms missing, half of your team offline, and a planet destroyed. Don't council me on when I should go back to work."

He does have to admit that's true, but, "You still need to pace yourself."

Grapple raises an optic ridge, "Says the bot that I've been told went out with a missing arm to go fight _Decepticons_."

He waves a servo, "I had to do it. No one else was available for that battle. I was a distraction, and everyone got out unhurt."

"I heard that the seekers kept trying to snatch you during that fight," Grapple arches an optic ridge again, much higher this time, and Optimus wonders who the frag at Headquarters is leaking his mission reports. "I bet you were the perfect kind of 'distraction' for them."

He chooses to take the innocent interpretation of that. "Yes. They abhor bots without some measure of symmetry."

The mech snorts, "Right, 'pretty Prime'. That's absolutely the reason."

He blushes, "I'll have you know that I wasn't even aware of that title for me until recently. That had nothing to do with my decision to fight with one arm."

Grapple taps him on the servo, "So you say. But I'm not convinced you couldn't have realized all the seekers were after you."

He could either admit to the truth-that he was so innocent to such things that he had not noticed-or he could claim he had used it to his advantage, which was a lie, and a shameful manipulation of the enemy as well.

"They're Decepticons." He isn't interested in interfacing with Decepticons.

Grapple chuckles softly, "Most bots overlook that at the offer of seekers."

He gives the mech a flat look, "I'm not most bots." He turned Starscream down repeatedly, and had only opened up when he was at his lowest point. He's thankful that the bot was either so distressed at how he was acting or thought it wasn't a challenge that the offer was refused. He most likely would have stayed with the bot for all time if that had happened.

Optimus was nothing if not loyal to the core. No bot would ever see Optimus cheating on or turning away from a lover unless that bot became someone completely different than the bot he committed himself to. Even then, Optimus woiuld try to stay true to him. Or her.

He still longed for Blackarachnia, but his spark knew now that she did not feel anything for him. That the best he could hope for from her was neutrality.

Even if it hurt to think that.

Grapple looks at his energon, "You know, if that is supposed to be worse than what you get from your dispenser, what have you been getting?"

He sighs softly, "I'm getting something that is almost, but not quite, high grade. All the dispensers do that to me now. Sari walks by them and they spontaniously upgrade. What I now consider plain is actually really fancy. It is kind of depressing. I was used to far worse."

The cranebot gives him an odd look, "Is that why you hate Haydon IV so much?"

"No." The energon deprivation was never an issue. Had he been truly needy, Optimus could have gone to a strip club and worked there instead, making far better credits than the factories provided. He'd had better morals and willpower, though, and had managed to avoid them. Mostly. "Will you be returning to work for the hotel corporation?" The bot was good enough to start his own business, with the right initiative.

Grapple nods, "I'm under contract. I really shouldn't have left for this long, but when the Allspark High Priestess tells you to come with her so she can heal your broken spark, you don't refuse. And a broken sparkbond is one of those things they would let me out of contract for anyway. They're paying me really well, and I'm having fun, so I don't want to break it, anyway. This really helped. A few decacycles with Sari means I'm back on my peds so much faster."

"How long are you contracted to work for them?"

The empty cube gets placed on the table after Grapple finishes it, "Another five vorns or so. Four if I can get the upgrades finished sooner, and get the expansion to the hotel built in time. But I doubt I can get it done in four. Not by myself. Or with the other bots they contract to offer help on various parts."

Optimus makes a comforting noise. "I'm sure they'll give you more help after this."

Grapple waves a servo, "That isn't a problem. I need to have workers that know what they're doing and why. Better for me to do it with a small team. We don't mind working the extra vorn to get it done. The estimate I gave was more like ten vorns, anyway. Getting it done in less than that makes me look better, and I was figuring in sparkbreak just in case, as well. This puts me on the same scheduale I had if Ho-Hoist was still with me." Optimus pretends not to notice the hitch as Grapple mentions his lost bonded, and the mech continues, "So I'm doing so much better than I had thought."

Optimus finishes his cube, and stands up, "Well, you're welcome to stay with us longer if you need to."

"The offer is kind, Optimus, but I don't think it will be necessary." Grapple smiles, the expression faint, but honest. "I need to learn to be on my own again. Maybe try finding a bot that Hoist's spark finds suitable. I know he didn't want me to spend the rest of my vorns alone."

Optimus covers one of Grapple's servos with his own. "I hope you find such a bot, Grapple. When you feel the time is right, you should go to Sari again. When you find that bot."

Grapple nods thoughtfully, "Priestesses are good at finding a bot that matches a bot."

He helps the mech up, "One of the reasons Priestesses are so treasured in additon to all the other reasons."

The cranebot gives him an odd look, and he tilts his head at the various bots watching them who were listening in to their conversation. The bot realizes what is going on and nods, voice going slightly stilted, as if reading off a script, "A won-der-ful rea-son why Sari is so great."

Optimus shakes his head a little. Grapple is obviously not used to having to act for a crowd. Optimus is well-versed in watching all he says and does in public. "Yes. She is unlike all the Priestesses who came before her. As the Allspark's daughter, she has better access to its powers, and has a strong consort to balance her. I think she will last a very, very long time."

Grapple gives him a confused look, "Afterburner's a strong consort?"

He shrugs, "He's a Decepticon leaning neutral racecar. And very devoted. She'll be fine." He takes Grapple's arm, "But we took long enough, time to see if she's stopped scolding Streetwise for wanting to keep 'facing Perceptor."

The mech follows after him, "I've noticed something. You keep calling him Perceptor. Is there any reason you dont' call him Percy? He let's me do it. Pretty much everyone but you calls him that."

"He has told me in the past that he prefers to be called Perceptor. I try to honor that, even if he clearly tolerates being called Percy by other bots." Optimus does his best to respect a bot's wishes, even if he doesn't understand them sometimes. At least he understands wanting to be called by one's designation. While he does not mind being called 'OP' by Jazz, or the occasional and creative butcherings of his name that Sari does to tease him, he prefers Optimus.

He never wants to be called Orion again.

He hopes none of the bots he once knew see him on Haydon IV. He would be very likely to punch a bot right in the spark. Straight through the armor. Without even thinking.

It... really isn't the best thing to do.

He won't be acting very polite there as it is. He just hopes he doesn't act too much like Sentinel when he visits the planet he hates so very much.

He will do his best to be as formal as possible. If he falls back on diplomatic protocol coding, he may seem cold and distant, but he won't be arrogant. He hopes Ultra's family does not turn out to be one of the factions that fought against the improvement of the industrial sector. He's not sure what he'll do if they turn out to be of the group he hated most.

Grapple leads him off to a room, and Sari is sitting on top of Streetwise as the bot is cursing. She has her arms crossed and doesn't look the least bit sympathetic, "If you had kept your fingers off, this never would have happened. But nope, you had to keep pushing your luck. You lose use of your spark for the next day."

He looks down at the carbot curled up on the floor, and asks, "Was this really necessary, Sari?"

She kicks the bot under her, "_Yes_. The fragger told me, to my face, that he had no intention of quitting being a prostibot. Then went on to grope Perceptor."

Perceptor crouches down, forestalling another kick by catching her ped, and he looks at Streetwise. "We will not keep you if you are a prostibot, Streetwise. If Red Alert and Wheeljack like you, we may take you as our berthbot, but even then we will expect you to work at least two sols each decacycle, to bring in enough credits to buy yourself energon."

Streetwise is too busing cursing and clutching at his sparkplates to say anything. Afterburner picks Sari up and kisses her softly, "Shall we leave, then? If he wants to come, he can make it back to the ship on his own."

Perceptor straighten up, "We can't jus-"

The racecar lifts a claw to forestall more talking, "We will walk in bot mode, and he can catch up in vehicle mode. If he wishes to follow, he has your frequency, and I'm sure you'd be willing to tell him where we are."

Perceptor glances at them, and then back at Streetwise. "We will catch up to you together. I doubt he has ever had his spark treated this way before. I do not want him alone."

Sari makes a disgusted noise, "He'll just play you. He doesn't really respect you, Percy."

A soft ex-vent, and the sciencebot kneels back down, "We barely know each other, Sari. Respect must be earned. Nevertheless, I cannot leave him here."

"Softspark," she mutters, and kicks Afterburner's shoulder, "Let's get going."

Optimus considers staying as well, but he understands where she's coming from. She had only one thing she'd really asked for Streetwise to do, and the carbot had spit at it. He's not very sympathetic to the mech's plight. Sari just doesn't want Cybertron to take one look at Streetwise's profession and declare that she was just going around and recruiting more bots to be prostibots. They're going to look at Afterburner like that if Streetwise doesn't clean up his act.

He doesn't want to think about what she'll do if they call her consort a whorebot, but he knows it won't be pretty.

He walks with Afterburner out of the building, Grapple in tow, and murmurs softly, "What if Streetwise doesn't recover in time for Perceptor to return to the ship?"

Sari crosses her arms, "Percy has enough money to take a ship and a space bridge. He'll even make it back to Cybertron before us."

Optimus looks away as they walk. He doesn't want the sciencebot to have to leave, but at the same time, he doesn't want to bring more bots to Haydon IV. If they happen upon bots who remember him, he wants as few witnesses as possible.

That is the life he wants left behind him, and each bot that knows about it is one bot that might bring it up later on and force him to remember his miserable time. Even if he does try to stay positive about it most of the time. It was hard, but not as hard as it could have been. Other bots have had it worse.

Afterburner moves Sari from his shoulder to his arms, holding her against his orange chest. The mech murmurs softly, "We should remind Streetwise why he was allowed at all. He seems to have forgotten."

She curls up against her consort, "No. If he couldn't remember one simple thing, he shouldn't be allowed in at all. I can't have him do this. It is too soon and he's too stuck on the spa planet's ways. He may have gotten away with a lot because of being the most requested bot and a neutral or whatever, but he _can_ _not_ do that with us."

"He won't be staying with you, Sari," Optimus reminds her. "I think any bad reputation would move on to Percy and Red Alert, and it is . . . acceptable, for a femme to acquire a berthbot like that. Perhaps not the most admirable of ways, but acceptable. She has a very high status, so most bots won't even gossip about it much."

Sari shakes her head, "No. If he continues to insist on being a whorebot, and he goes to Cybertron _with_ _us_, I will not be able to stay there. It may have gotten better since moving into a ninjabot neighborhood, but there are still bots that ask my price when I'm jsut walking down the street. I will _not_ let that continue. I know what I'm supposed to do now, and I may not be able to stop the Allspark from cursing every bot on cybertron except for special cases."

He has to ask, "Special cases?"

She gives him an unhappy look, "Sparklings, sparkbonded bots, virgins, and ninjabots. Ultra would be cursed, and I'd have a difficult time taking it off."

Optimus is terribly distressed by the way his own faction treats Sari. "I ask that you offer them one more chance. When they see you with the sleipnir, there won't be any bots capable of denying your status as a Priestess. Even those with the greatest doubts will have to admit it, and then . . they will treat you with the respect you deserve." He clasps servos with her, "Autobots are good bots, Sari. They just . . we have prejudices. I am sorry."

She cuddles into his fingers, "They're people. I know. I get that. There are lots of bots that _aren't_ dicks. That's why I don't want to curse the planet. It would be a thousand times worse becuase it's Cybertron, too. That's the Allspark's home, and it doesn't like the idea of it, either."

He feels a bit better at that, and nods. "Just give them a chance."

She pulls away, cuddling closer to Afterburner, "I still won't let Streetwise fuck it up. If he insists on remaining a prostibot, I don't want him on the ship."

"I will have a discussion with him, Sari." Optimus isn't looking forward to it, but he's willing to give the bot one more chance. He understands that in Streetwise's culture, there is nothing wrong with being a prostibot. Especially one so skilled and respected. He must be informed that Cybertron is different.

"Thanks." Sari sighs. "We'll let them get on the ship. If he doesn't change his ways, he's getting left behind. Period."

He looks behind them, "On this planet, or just on a different one?" If he remembers right, prostitution is illegal on the planet.

She shrugs, "Depends on how well he makes his case. If he does nothing but be insulting, I have no problem kicking him out with his stuff and telling him to make his own way."

From how Perceptor heaps praise on the bot, he doubts Streetwise will be stupid enough to insult her after such a demonstation of her power. Streetwise didn't seem the type to insult any bot, just because he was a bit too classy of a prostibot to do so. One did not get well-liked by clients if you were catty and unpleasant.

"It's good to give him one more chance," Optimus praises her, pleased that she is at least willing to set aside her instinctive dislike of the mech. Even if she wants to make him go away, she's willing to let Optimus convince the mech to take up a more reputable career. He would only need to work a few sols each decacycle. He knows the science trio would support him as long as he was working occasionally.

She sighs softly, and nods, "Whatever. I'm mainly doing this for Percy. He really likes Streetwise for some reason."

Afterburner kisses her, "If he refuses, then he refuses. It is out of your servos at that point. We can not have him shredding your reputation, my Priestess."

She relaxes in the mech's arms, optics going dim, "Not right now, anyway."

Afterburner kisses her softly again, and stops, looking up at the ship. The racecar makes a face, "You two," the bot points at Grapple and Optimus, "we're going to our room. You do whatever the frag you want."

Optimus keeps from rolling his optics, "I'll tell you how the conversation with Streetwise goes. If it doesn't turn out, I'll com you. If it's fine, I think we'll all just leave."

Sari nods, "Sounds good to me." She snaps her fingers, making the door to the ship open, and they all head on in.

Optimus isn't really looking forward to the coversation, but he is going to have it, regardless.

He vents a long-suffering sigh and turns back towards the hotel, hoping to meet Streetwise and Perceptor midway. If he had to trek all the way back, then it was going to be an even more difficult conversation, as that meant that Streetwise had not yet recovered from Sari's punishment.

Of course, his hopes were crushed brutally, because Streetwise was still curled up on the floor of the hotel room, Perceptor kneeling beside him to try and soothe the pain in his spark away. Sari was new to her powers, and Optimus wonders if she's done more harm than she intended, or if Streetwise is trying to get as much sympathy as possible.

He kneels next to Streetwise as well, patting the bot on the side softly, "Is he not getting better?"

Perceptor makes a distressed sound, "He's cooled to the point of _damage_. I can not fix him. I put a datapad to try to make it so it hurt less, but it broke the pad, and plunged him even colder. I don't know what to _do_."

He pulls Streetwise up, throwing the mech's arm over his shoulder, and having Perceptor take the other one. "Do you have a heating blanket? That may help, and we can take him to Sari. She may not have realized how badly hurt he is."

Perceptor rubs a servo on Streetwise's face, a soft and caring gesture that Optimus hadn't even realized the carbot was capable of. "I... I do. It just won't fit around him very well."

"It just needs to wrap around his chest." Optimus presses himself up against the carbot, letting his frame warm up the chilled metal of Streetwise's. Normally, a bot this cold is in danger of offlining, but Streetwise seems nowhere near it. Cold, and in exceptional pain, but online.

Perceptor pulls out a tiny heating blanket and wraps it around the mech's chest, the ends just barely meeting. He has to pin it in place so it will stay tucked around the chest armor and not fall down. "I . . am not sure what we should do if Sari intends for him to suffer this way."

Perceptor cuddles against Streetwise as they walk out of the room. Optimus continues to help support, and murmurs softly, "There are more blankets on the ship. He can get warmed up there. He _can_ walk. Bots with a spark cold enough to feel it against the servo are normally grey by now. He should just need to be heated up."

Perceptor looks calculating, and Optimus belatedly realizes that he's just gotten better at reading the sciencebot, rather than the bot getting more expressive. "Do you think rubbing his spark will help?"

He shakes his head. "Not when the _Allspark High Priestess_ is the one that did it. That's likely to damage him even more."

They carefully walk him back to the ship, and lay him out on the medical berth, shooing the medical drones away from him. Perceptor hovers over the bot, curling against him to try and share his heat with Streetwise while the mech whimpers softly, optics dim with pain.

"I will be back with Sari," Optimus promises. He has to believe she didn't intend to hurt the mech this much, or he will be finding willing racecar mechs and dragging them in front of her to fend off the madness.

He reluctantly makes his way to her room, knocking at the door. He knows what they're doing in there, and he doesn't _want_ to interrupt. The door is opened, and he's plowed into by Loki, who sits on his chest possesively, and growls at Afterburner, who is standing above him, looking amused. "Did you need something?"

He pushes the sleipnir off of him, making a face, "Streetwise is badly damaged. I want to know if Sari _meant_ for him to be hurt so badly or not."

Sari peeks from behind the racecar's leg, frowning, "What do you mean hurt? He should have had Percy fix his spark already. Or if Percy didn't do that, then the drive back would have fixed it."

The long, soft strands of fur on the sleipnir's tail brush back and forth along Optimus's armor, and he's sure the beast is trying to dust him more thoroughly, though it cannot remember why it wants him marked that way.

"His spark is cold enough that it is causing damage to the surrounding circuits and wires. Perceptor's attempt to fix it only increased the damage and the cold."

Sari makes a distressed sound, "That isn't supposed to happen at all! It was just supposed to remind him to calm the fuck down!" She tugs on Afterburner, and her consort picks her up with ease. "We need to get to him. We'll go to the hote-"

He shakes his head, "Medical bay. He's in the medical bay right now. We were hoping the walk would help."

She curls against Afterburner as they head there, "I was angry at him, but I don't want him _damaged_."

"You aren't used to your powers," Optimus reminds her. "He appears to be at no risk of offlining, though he is in rather serious pain."

She makes a distressed noise, and hides her face against Afterburner's armor, possibly ashamed by her mistake. Optimus lets them in to medical bay, and gets Perceptor to move off of the mech so Sari can see him. She gets down on the medical berth and stares at him with unhappy optics. "I . . oh, Primus, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Perceptor gives her a flat look, not saying anything, but Streetwise gasps in pain as she pets his helmet. "H-hurt."

She charges up her servo, removing the pin from the small heating blanket. "You need to open up so I can see what I can do to fix you. I'm going to have to be _extra_ careful. Allspark says I may end up marking you."

Which is something no one wants.

Streetwise's optics flash in pain, a dim and hurt light. "Do it," his voice is weak, and slightly staticked.

She hovers her servos over his spark, and slowly allows the blue energy to reach out and envelop it. Streetwise gasps, but his pained whimpers stop, and the tension drains from his frame until he's relaxed on the medical berth. Sari's expression has grown almost . . hungry, and Optimus reaches out to press a servo to her shoulder to draw her back to them. "Is he healed now?"

She blinks at him for a moment, then shakes her head to clear it, "Yeah. He's fine. He just needs to stay still for a bit." She turns to Perceptor, "You." She shakes a finger at him, "No 'facing him for the next sol. If you hadn't messed with his spark's heat, he'd be completely recovered. I know you wanted him safe, but you should have commed me and asked me if I wanted him so hurt. I most likely would have told you to do what you did, but have warned you away from messing with his spark directly."

Perceptor stares at her blankly. "He was suffering. You caused that suffering. It is not wise for a bot to contact an angry priestess to request that the suffering stop. They tend to make it worse as punishment for the interruption. Especially if you were interrupted during your time with your First."

Sari makes a soft, sad noise. "I'm not like those priestesses. You know that, Percy."

Perceptor sits on the medical berth, petting Streetwise on the helmet softly, "You were acting like them, Sari. I could not know how you would react to me asking you to remove a punishment. You do not like Streetwise, and I get more and more nervous the longer you are only with one consort."

She looks down, looking hurt, "You're my _friend_ Percy. Or, I'd like to think you are. I try not to be terrible or let the Allspark control me. You need to tell me if I'm out of line. What if I suddenly decide that I _need_ to go to Velocitron? I'll have to have someone remind me that it is a terrible idea. I don't want me to ruin everything."

Afterburner pulls her against him, "I would remind you, Sari. You don't need to worry about that." He kisses her with more tenderness than Optimus had realized the bot was capable of. "I know you don't want to end up with dozens of consorts."

She curls up and whispers something in his audio, and Afterburner nods. Sari turns to them, "We're gonna go back for some . .. recharge. I'm sorry about Streetwise, Perceptor. Just . . please let him know that I'm not going to tolerate him being a whore. My reputation on Cybertron can't handle that."

Perceptor cuddles against Streetwise, nodding. "I can do that." The sciencebot pets the carbot softly as Sari leaves before looking at Optimus, "You go back to your room, I can take care of him. You may want to lock Loki up in a spare room."

Optimus hadn't even realized the sleipnir was cuddling against him, licking and nibbling at his leg armor. Pushing the creature away, he makes a face at it. "I wish it would stop doing that."

"At least it's not trying to eat you any more, Optimus," Sari says, before giving Loki a stern look that has the sleipnir grumbling and getting up on its peds, reluctantly moving away from Optimus. "I'll lock him up in a room with some energon treats."

"Thank you, Sari," Optimus replies, stepping away from the sleipnir when it gives him a longing look with its eerie blue optics.

He watches it leave, and Perceptor presses a small kiss to Streetwise's mouth. "He's looking a lot better now."

Optimus glances at the carbot, and is glad that Streetwise is recharging, even if his plates are open. "Do you need help taking him to his room?"

Perceptor shakes his head, pushing the plates closed and putting the small heating blanket over the other mech, "No. I'm fine here. You should go talk to Ultra. He'll be glad to talk to you."

It's going to be very difficult to hide the fact that he's looking for Ultra's family. He wants it to be a surprise, if he manages to find them. Optimus vents a sigh and waves a farewell at the other mechs as he makes his way back to his room, which promptly locks him inside with an angry, discontended beep. "Yes, yes," he says in the vague direction of the doors, "I know. I'm all over the place with my readings. You try spending time around a sleipnir and see how you feel afterwards."

It just beeps at him again, and he sighs. He has plenty of time before he _should_ com Ultra, so he takes advantage of that by going to the washrack. He takes his time to clean all the dents off of himself, and shining himself nicely. When he's finished he feels a great deal better, glad for the lack of sleipnir dust all over his frame, and no lubricants from the thing's nibbling and licks.

Sitting on the chair in front of the console, he keys in Ultra's frequency, and smiles when it is picked up instantly. "Hello, beloved. How was your sol?"

His intended makes a face, "One of the seekers found a minibot that Shockwave once held captive. Ramjet had thought that Furao was Bumblebee."

"How did that go over?" He doesn't imagine it went well. Furao had all but vanished after they had rescued him at the end of the war and Shockwave had bribed and threatened the officials to keep himself out of prison.

"It went," Ultra answers, tone grim. "He was not happy to be found. He was especially not happy that Ramjet has become infatuated with him. The seeker does not want to let him go."

He groans, imagining how badly that will end. "Did you remind him he has Windburner?"

Ultra shakes his head, "No. I'm not exactly _welcome_ in seeker flock business, Optimus. I'm not yet bonded with you, so I only have the barest of bare ability to step in. If Furao was actively complaining, I could, but the mech is not precisely _arguing_ about it. He just grumbles angrily under his venting about not wanting to be near Shockwave."

Optimus can understand that sentiment. "Well, Ramjet is one of the ones that can actually stay far away from Shockwave, if that helps."

"It might," Ultra reaches out to touch the screen. "How long before you return to me, Optimus?"

His spark aches, and he touches his fingertips to Ultra's. "I am not sure, but it should not be too long. I think we are visiting only one or two more planets, and then coming back to you." He leans in, lowering his voice, "I have missed you so much, beloved. My spark longs to join with yours in our bonding ceremony."

Ultra smiles at him sadly, "And we have so very long until then."

He is tempted, _horribly_ _tempted_, to tell his beloved that Sari is going to shorten it, but he doesn't want her to get angry. He knows she is doing that because she knows how much he wants this. He keeps silent on it. "I know, Ultra. We just need to be patient. When we can, we will have our blessed little sparklings." He smiles shyly, "How do you think they'll be blessed?"

Ultra hums thoughtfully, "Well, Sari likes just blessing bots randomly. I imagine that ours will be more than just twins and our single mech because of that. Do you think they'll have paint on their plates?"

He frowns, thinking about it, "Maybe, but I bet not. She doesn't like having bots insult her about it. I wouldn't be surprised if one of our sparklings is a triple-changer somehow. She loves triple-changers."

"She also loves racecars and cyclebots, but if our sparklings come out in either of those modes, bots will get suspicious," Ultra teases. "They'll wonder if you were interfacing Prowl or Rodimus." Optimus would never interface a teammate, and he barely remembers Rodimus. He'd only met him in passing a few times, and he knows the mech is still in the hospital being treated for a severe case of cosmic rust when they hadn't had a dose of the cure with them at the time.

He leans forward, "Not if it is our twin femmes that are those models. They will think you were 'facing someone during the ammesty when you were not." He smiles shyly, "They will know I did not because Sari will make sure to have that crystal that glows when one of the bonded is a virgin."

Ultra chuckles, "Then I'd have to be very public during the decacyle, so they know I was true to you."

"Bots will still gossip," Optimus says, but he's smiling. "They would wonder which ceremonial guard or councilmech you had given in to." Even he has to admit that the ceremonial guards are chosen more for their pretty frames than their guarding skills, though they are all competent enough fighters if backed into a corner.

It was a running joke in Autobot culture that the only ceremonies the bots were effectively guarding were fertility festivals and interfacing rites. It was a large part of why Optimus had refused to consider that path, even when Sergeant Kup had mentioned it in bootcamp.

Ultra smiles, "Well, we have a chance of one of our sparklings being a flier type, anyway. Not a seeker, thankfully. But a flier all the same."

Optimsu blinks at Ultra, confused at that, "What?"

His intended gives him a hesitant look, "One of my creators was a jetbot. I haven't ever made that information a secret. I thought you knew."

He gives his intended a surprised look, "No. I didn't know." None of the genealogy he had been looking at mentioned model type. It hadn't even been something he considered.

Ultra freezes, giving him a nervous look, touching the screen, "Does... does this mean you don't want to bond with me? I know it is a big thing to not know, but I hadn't thought it was important."

"No, no," Optimus rushes to reassure him. "It doesn't matter to me. I even," he blushes, "I like the idea that our sparkling might know what it's like to fly. I enjoyed the wing mods more than I should have." His beloved chuckles, and Optimus continues, "And I wouldn't mind him or her being a cyclebot either." He knows he has a few in his far distant past.

Ultra smiles, "I'm glad, love. I'd hate to lose you due to me just not realizing you would want to know what models my creators were."

He smiles, shaking his head, "I wouldn't do that. I _love_ you. I'd be with you even if both of your creators had been Decepticons and you onlined with red optics."

His intended chuckles, "I onlined before the Decepticons were formed, Optimus. And blue is my natural optic color."

Optimus gives him a coy look, and then touches his sparkplates lightly. "I was onlined with clear sparkplates. I hope that doesn't bother you at all, that I am not in that model any longer. If you aren't bothered by that, why would I be bothered by your past?"

Fingertips press against the screen again, "You tempt me far too much, Optimus. I do not know how I am supposed to resist you sometimes."

He blushes, dropping his servo and looking away, "It is hard not to try to sneak off on one of the shuttles on the ship to just leave theough a spacebridge to get back to you. But I know better than that. I'm going to be returning to you soon enough, and I look forward to it."

Ultra leans forward, "I do, too. You will be at my side soon enough, and I will be happier than I have been since before you left the planet."

They touch across the screen, and Optimus wishes he was able to _feel_ his beloved this way. Comcalls are a poor excuse for actual contact. "I want you to pick out some crystals for the garden we will have," he changes the subject away from his longing. "Pick something nice. I want them to work with the crystals I've selected.

Ultra Magnus shakes his head, "I suppose I will avoid lacewing, then."

Optimus frowns, "Lacewing is _not _something you want with sparklings around, Ultra."

The other mech smiles, "I know, love. You have several varieties of cora you're bringing home. We'll be growing those. Sari said she got gold cora of all things. I've never gotten any of that to grow."

Optimus shifts a tiny bit in the seat, "She said that they'll grow really well when we have our sparklings. I'm not sure why that is. Does cora crystal like sparklings?"

"Cora crystal reacts negatively to most other types of crystal being grown around it," Ultra explains. Most cora farms grow it exclusively, and isolate each type from the rest, unless it is being grown for recreational purposes. If you aren't farming it, then you aren't bothered that you crystals are growing half as fast as they could." The bot pauses, and looks at him significantly, "It is said that they grow many times faster around crystal bots."

He looks at Ultra for a long moment, then asks softly, "You think they're going to be crystal? I don't want them hurt." Not only would their sparks be showing all the time, the bots are notorious for having frames that crush at the slightest touch. Most become prostibots beause that's the only way they can _afford_ the special nutrients that are needed for their frame.

"We won't let our sparklings be hurt, Optimus." Ultra Magnus looks distant, "When I was very young, there was one Allspark blessed crystal mech alive. He had no problems with his armor strength at all. The problems come when bots try to breed for that trait, or when it comes as a random mutation in the CNA. Then it tends to weaken the armor."

Optimus touches his sparkplates dubiously, unsure if he wants a sparkling that goes around with their spark exposed at all times. It would be terrible for the poor thing.

His expression hardens, "I'll love them even if they're _all_ crystal sparklings. No matter what."

"Of course we will, Optimus," Ultra agrres, voice soothing. "I will love them, as well. They'll never want for love."

He smiles, "Good. I don't want the news to insult them, either."

Ultra nods, "I grew up in a time where sparklings of your model type didn't _have_ to have the metal backing to cover their spark, Optimus. I don't think that there is anything terrible about sparklings like that. I'll make that fact very clear to the newsbots, and it will very likely encourage bots that have the weak armor that they don't _have_ to be prostibots. Skyshot did very well as a sniper."

"Skyshot was, and most likely still is, less than stable in every possible way," Optimus points out, and Ultra inclines his head in agreement. The minibot may not have chosen to be a whorebot, but he certainly wasn't suited to normal work either. "If we have crystal sparklings, I'm making sure we have their code checked regularly for possible defects. I won't let a sparkling of mine get damaged because of our negligence."

His beloved laughs softly, "Of course, Optimus. It isn't like Ratchet would let us get away with _not_ taking them to him, anyway. He takes this sort of thing very seriously."

He nods, "Ratchet really does. I'm a little surprised that Arcee hasn't been trying to spark with him. If they're having trouble, I'm certain that Sari will gladly bless them. Same with any other bot in the family."

Ultra presses a servo to the screen, "I know, my love, I know. We'll see how it goes."

"I hope we have the healthiest sparklings alive," Optimus murmurs, because sick sparklings are always sparkbreaking. "We'll spoil them, I'm sure." Bots always spoil sparklings, especially if they are first sparklings, and there are not many in the family. And Ultra has already proved that he has no willpower when it comes to a sparkling's demands.

Ultra smiles, "We will." His love tilts his head, "And how was your sol? You didn't tell me."

Optimus makes a face, rubbing his sparkchamber unconsciously, "Sari decided to punish Streetwise for wanting to be a prostibot, since she _had_ informed him that he wasn't allowed to be one if he's coming with us." He pauses a bit for effect, "She went overboard on the punishment."

"Is everyone alright?" Ultra asks with some concern, likely thinking of past priestesses.

He nods slowly, "Yes. They are now. Sari is upset, and I doubt Streetwise will do more than raise his voice at her to avoid upsetting her for a while. I think Perceptor is a bit shaken as well, though it's still so hard to read him."

Afterburner had simply stood at Sari's back and offered her his support, but it's likely very hard for the mech to protest anything she does as First.

Ultra taps his fingers on the com console, "Is she going to take this to spark, and hold back on punishments? Or do you think she won't?"

He frowns at his intended, but realizes his mech _has_ to ask. Ultra wasn't there to see her reaction in person, and if Sari is too dangerous, she can _not_ be allowed back to Cybertron other than to gather her things and sell her house.

"She was horrified she went so far. She told Perceptor that he should have informed her, and was upset when we hadn't until Streetwise was in the medical bay."

"It was bad enough that he was sent to the medical bay?" Ultra sighs, "Optimus, you know I have to bring this to the council."

"The council that does not believe she has the powers you will be informing them that she has begun to abuse?" Optimus snorts, "Yes, beloved. Go ahead and tell them all about the ways she is abusing her powers."

Ultra rubs the back of his helm sheepishly. "I have to do it whether they believe or not."

He waves a servo dismissively, "Then tell them. They'll get to think that she's terrible, and likely take it as a reason to get rid of her sooner. She's planning on leaving Cybertron as soon as our bonding is over, anyway."

Ultra looks hurt, "She does? I had thought..."

He rolls his optics, "No, love. She really doesn't like Cybertron all that much. She's only there because we're there. She's going to leave as soon as she can."

"I knew she was unhappy there, because of the reactions of bots, but with the sleipnir, and the more visible signs of her power, bots on Cybertron will respect her more. They will believe she is the priestess and act accordingly." Ultra vents, "I hope she chooses to stay a bit longer, so we can show her the best of what our bots can do, and not just the worst of it."

Optimus gently chides his beloved, "Even if they accept her as priestess, Cybertronians are prejudiced against organics, and she does not intend to hide her organic half just to make them feel more comfortable."

Ultra flinches, just a tiny bit, "I really wish they weren't. If I could, I'd make it so everyone at least visited an organic planet for a stellar cycle or two. Preferably a vorn or three."

Optimus shakes his head, "But it doesn't work like that. I do get the impression she'd be moving to an organic planet, though. If they wanted a blessing, they'd have to travel there to visit. No way to get out of it if they want to ask for the removal of a curse or get a blessing."

His beloved sighs, "Priestesses always hated being harassed for too many blessings, and liked hiding off on their own planet when not hunting for consorts. It is just that Cybertron was that planet they hid on."

"Will she," Optimus swallows nervously, "do you think she'll take the Allspark with her?" The High Priestess had the right to take the Allspark wherever she pleased, so long as the Allspark allowed it, and the Allspark rarely protested anything its favored bots did. If Sari removed the Allspark from Cybertron, that meant that Optimus and Ultra would have more difficulty in the future, sparking with each other.

Ultra hums thoughtfully, optic ridges furrowed, "I'm... I'm not sure, Optimus. You know her far better than I. Do _you_ think she will?"

He bites his lower lip worriedly, "I really don't know. I'd like to say no, but it is her choice if she does. I'm not sure how anyone would react to that. Cybertron only just got the Allspark back from when we sent it away. I'm fairly certain no one would be happy about it leaving."

Optimus wonders if begging Sari would work if she decides to take it away, and then shakes his head, trying to clear his processor.

"I-" Ultra is interrupted by a com call, and he presses his fingers to his temple, optics narrowing in concentration. "I am speaking with Optimus right now, Cliffjumper. Can it wait until-" he blinks, "the delegates arrived already? They weren't due in until tomorrow. Can't you just put them in a suite and-" Ultra looks disgruntled, "No. If they requested prostibots you shouldn't try and find some in the city directory."

Optimus rubs his optics, "You go take care of that, love." He presses his fingers to the screen. "I love you."

Ultra looks at him regretfully, "I love you, too. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Optimus." His intended reluctantly hits the diconnect, leaving him alone in the room.

Alone except for Aquafire.

... And Loki.

Optimus glares at the sleipnir, "How the Pit did you even get _in_ here?" The virgin eating creature just slinks to his side, leaning on his legs and licking him hopefully. He sighs down at it irritably, "I don't even know why I asked you."

It flicks its tail at him and leaves a thick coating of dust on his thigh. He vents, and makes a note to inform Sari that her pet needs to have its dust removed already. A long, thin glossa flicks out to taste the dusty patch, and Loki makes a happy sound, identifying the taste of its own dust on him.

Sleipnir were _not_ intelligent creatures at all.

Beautiful. Eerie. Very dangerous.

Not intelligent.

Another flick of tail and his other thigh has a matching dusty patch, which Loki 'notices' a klik or so later, investigating with his glossa again.

Not intelligent at all.

He prods it in the head, and Loki makes a sound that Optimus supposes is a laugh for a sleipnir, and his servo gets licked. He makes a face, wiping the lubricants off on Loki. "You're disgusting." He puts a servo to his temple, "Grapple?"

The sparkbroken bot answers almost instantly, "Yes, Optimus?"

He pushes Loki away, "Do you know where Loki is supposed to be? He somehow got into my room."

He can almost see the cranebot's shrug, "Not a clue. Want me to take him out? He's dumb enough to think I'm a virgin and loves following me around."

"He's not bothering me too much." And the dust doesn't feel bad on him, though the lubricants from its glossa are quite irritating. He wonders idly if bots in the long distant past considered using sleipnir dust as an additive to paint. It shimmers nicely when it's coated on thick, though it is largely invisible in smaller amounts. "But I wouldn't mind you taking him away. I would like to get some recharge. Assuming you can convince my door to open."

"I'll see if I can. If not, we'll talk to Sari. Loki shouldn't be in your room, anyway. The coding may run out, and that's just not safe for either of us."

He nods, pushing the stupid creature away when he's licked again. "You're right. Just try the door, you should be fine. I'm not sure if you'll be able to get out, so don't walk in if the door opens."

"That's what I was planning."

He has to wait a full breem before Grapple arrives, and the mech manages to get the door open. Loki stands up on shaky legs, turning his head between Optimus and Grapple, torn in his decision on which 'virgin' to 'protect.' Eventually, Loki settles down at Optimus's peds, curling himself around them with enough force and weight to trap his peds in place.

He frowns at Loki, "Get off. Go follow Grapple." He makes shooing motions with his servos, "See the nice tasty bot over there? Go."

Loki curls against him even tighter, all eight legs clicking into place around him, and the sleipnir starts to growl lowly at Grapple.

He groans loudly, "I think we _have_ to get Sari. This isn't going to stop unless she's here." He tries to move his peds, and almost falls over. "And I can't do _anything_ with him here."

Grapple bites his lower lip, looking back at the door, then steps in, kneeling on the floor next to Loki, the door snapping shut firmly behind him. "Get off him, Loki. We need to go back to Sari."

Loki licks Grapple on the face, then makes a disgusted noise.

It immediately forgets that it disliked the taste, but he licks Grapple a second time, and makes the exact same disgusted sound when he does it. Grapple sighs. "He does that every time he follows me around. Stupid beast."

Another lick, and another noise of complaint.

No wonder the sleipnir prefers Optimus, who must at least taste pleasant, even if the sleipnir is stupid enough to think that Grapple is a born-again virgin who will suddenly turn delicious overnight.

He tries to shift his peds, and glares down at the creature when he still can't move. "You get to com Sari about this."

Grapple glares at him, "Why can't you?"

He's not interrupting her and Afterburner. "I commed her when Streetwise was hurt. Your turn."

Grapple's glare intensifies, "She considers you one of her surrogate creators."

"All the more reason for it to be you. Nothing worse than being interrupted by a com call by your creator, or so I'm told."

Perhaps it would be best not to call at all. Just in case . . . just in case she is busy with her lo- with her First Consort. He shakes himself, trying to dispel the image of Sari doing things with any bot.

Grapple refuses once more, "No. I'm not risking upsetting her. Not after what she did to Streetwise. You can call her, or we can stay here and be licked to death by a stupid sleipnir that has forgotten that it eats virgins."

He nods, "Well, it is obvious what we do, then."

Grapple nods, "I'm glad you agree."

Then they both say at the same time, "You com her, and I watch you do it."

They glare at each other for a long moment, and then Grapple looks down at Loki, who has somehow managed to lock them _both_ together, rather than just Optimus. "I don't think we're going to get free."

Grapple pushes at one of the legs, and Optimus complains, "I'm certain his legs didn't have this many joints and hinges before." Or tiny latches that have hooked into his armor seams to keep him from pulling the legs off of him. "I think we should advise that Sari have these little hooks removed. They could be dangerous if he breaks through his coding." Not that he really expects the sleipnir would. Not when it was Allspark-reinforced code.

Grapple shivers, "This must be how they subdued their . . prey."

He pokes the thing in the head, "It is _very_ likely." Which is horribly creepy, but he tries not to focus on that. "How do you think we get free?"

Grapple wiggles a leg, and Loki gasps, standing up, and twining around them both like a overly enthusiastic cybercat. The cranebot smirks, "That. I'll just be goi-" When the mech tries to walk away as he talk, they're both shoved on the berth by the sleipnir. "_Frag_."

Optimus groans irritably, trying to pull away, only to get caught back in the latches, arms pinned at his sides, "I can't even get to my com. Can you?"

"No," Grapple complains, and then they're pressed together on the berth, latches and legs shifting around them to hold them in place. Their sparkplates are very carefully kept apart, likely so they could not try and sully themselves so they would no longer be edible for a normal sleipnir. Loki is likely just going on instinct at this point.

Optimus vents a sigh, "We'll hope Sari decides to come looking for us tomorrow morning, or else we're going to be trapped with Loki for a while." He hopes the sleipnir will let go of them when it recharges. Then he can try restraining it so it is on one side of the room, and they on the other.

Grapple sighs as well, "I think we'll just have to try recharging like this, then."

He shifts uncomfortably, more irritable than usual, "I wish it hadn't even come in. I don't even know how he did this."

The cranebot shrugs, settling in for a long night, "Who even knows? We'll just make the best of it, or not do well at all."

He sighs softly, "I guess."

They fall into recharge after a very long time trying, and the last thing Optimus remembers is a tail flicking against him.

* * *

**Please Review**


	20. Chapter 20

This is the last chapter that I have all edited for you guys. Did you know that ffdotnet only lets you upload fifteen documents at a time? I could only put this on after deleting the first chapter of the Skywarp/Peceptor fanfic I put up forever ago for you guys! I'm actually writing this note on the day before my birthday :3

IT IS FEBRUARY 13 RIGHT NOW AS I WRITE THIS. But it is some other date as you read this. Crazy, right? Right.

Anyway, this is the last chapter of this for awhile until we write more. I'm going through the backlog of fic that needs to be uploaded. I'm sure you noticed that :V I'm not really sure what I'll put up next, since it is all subject to a whim and fancy. We'll figure something out.

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

Their armor shimmers with dust when they online the next morning. They practically glitter in the dim light of the room, and Loki's grip on them is much more loose now that the beast is recharging. Optimus manages to free himself without the sleipnir onlining, and he sighs with relief to finally be free of the hooks.

Even if Grapple's frame had been comfortably warm against him, and he'd recharged far better than he had in a long time because of the berth sharing.

He is about to slip out of the berth when the door opens, and Sari walks in, waving her servo while not looking anywhere in particular, "Optimus, I wanted you to know that we're almost to Ha-" She looks at him, then tilts her head, "Did you sleep with Grapple and Loki all night?"

He nods, trying to get off the berth, only for Loki to slip a leg around him, and he's suddenly laying flat next to Grapple again. "I can't stop him from doing this."

Sari looks at him for a long moment before bursting out laughing.

The sleipnir sits up and gives her a hopeful look, smacking tail and body dust onto the bots again. She fights herself down to giggles, and then snaps her fingers, "Down, boy. No nummy bots for you." Loki sadly shifts off the berth and lets the bots go. "Time to de-dust you again. You look like you spent the night in some bad rave club or something, Optimus."

He stares down at his shimmery coat of dust. "Ah. Yes. I should take a trip to the washrack before I call Ultra."

She nods, "You should. And wake up Grapple for me, would you?"

He gently shakes the cranebot, and Grapple rolls over, away from him, muttering something about another breem. He sighs softly, "I don't think he's going to."

She taps her ped on the floor, "No. Just push him on the floor."

He gives her a disappointed look, "I'm not going to do that, Sari. He might get hurt. He can stay on the berth. It won't hurt him to recharge some more."

Shaking her head, she mutters under her breath and leads Loki out of the room, "Fine. Then he can stay in here with you. I just wanted to let you know that we're almost to Haydon IV. You can get ready however you like, but if Grapple's in here, you'll have to share the washrack, and I don't know how Ultra is going to feel about that."

He rolls his optics, "Grapple is sparkbroken. Ultra won't care."

She shrugs, "If you say so. You're most likely right, but whatever."

The door closes behind her, and Optimus pokes Grapple once. The cranebot mutters something, but doesn't online. Shrugging, he walks to the washrack. He needs to get cleaned up, and call Ultra. He knows his beloved will want to talk to him before he goes on planet.

Optimus scrubs himself thoroughly, washing the paint and dust off of his frame until he's passable. He wants to look good, but not too good. His planet doesn't deserve his full efforts at making himself presentable. He passes requirements for field inspection, and that is all. No special polishes or anything else.

He sits at the console and touches the screen to connect with his intended.

Ultra connects instantly, "Optimus! Now is not a g-" His beloved stares behind him for a long moment, "Why is there a bot on your berth?"

He blinks at Ultra for a little bit in confusion until he realizes Ultra never actually _met_ the cranebot. "That's Grapple, love. Loki trapped us in the room, and he is still recharging."

Ultra's expression is not particularly happy. "I see. I hope it does not become a regular occurence. I do not want to have you going out with other bot's paint on your frame, even though I know you will not do anything with them." He leans back in his chair, "I do not want you to become accustomed to sharing your berth with bots other than me."

He tilts his head, unsure why Ultra is upset. "I guess? I don't have any of his paint on my frame, though."

Ultra frowns, "You obviously just came from the washrack, Optimus."

He keeps from rolling his optics, "Even if I _hadn't_, there would be none of his paint on me. We never even touched in the night. Loki wouldn't have allowed it."

The Magnus clenches his fist, and then sighs, relaxing himself visibly. "I apologize, Optimus. I feel rather jealous. I know I should not, yet I look at that bot in your berth and wish it was _me_. I want to hold you in my arms."

Optimus smiles, "You will, soon enough. We just have to be patient." He turns to look at Grapple, who is shifting slightly, starting to online. "I don't intend to share a berth with him again, though I cannot always control what happens. Loki is unpredictable, if harmless now."

Ultra frowns, "I still wish you wouldn't." His intended presses a servo to the screen, "I love you, Optimus."

He smiles, "I love you, too. But you said that now isn't a good time?"

Ultra starts, and nods quickly, standing up, "Yes. I'm sorry, my love, but I _need_ to go now. Shockwave is trying to get Furao back, and the seekers are not taking it well."

He widens his optics, "Understandable! You go! I love you."

His beloved smiles quickly, servo over the disconnect, "I love you, too." The screen goes blank, and Optimus is left staring at a dark screen.

He sighs softly, wishing he'd managed to get longer with his beloved. At least the short time he'd had was better than nothing.

He hopes the issue is resolved quickly, so he can spend more time with Ultra later on. He doesn't like only speaking to him for a klik or two at a time. They're long past that stage of the courtship, and should be spending most of their free time together at this point.

He sighs again, and jerks with surprise when a servo clamps down on his shoulder, "Are you alright?"

Looking at the servo, he blinks rapidly before nodding. "Yes, Grapple. I'm fine. I would like to go home, but we still have to head to Haydon IV."

The cranebot nods, "Sounds good to me. I'm going to go head to my washrack," the mech gestures at his sleipnir dust covered self, "because this is pretty terrible."

He waves at his washrack, "Use mine. Sari said to."

Grapple taps his ped on the floor, "If you say so."

Arching an optic ridge, Optimus scoffs, "You're not worried about sharing a washrack, are you? Ultra saw you recharging in my berth. Any damage has already been done."

Grapple shifts uncomfortably, "Oh. Was he angry? You did tell him it wasn't our fault, right? I mean, I'm- . . I've lost my sparkbond. If there's any bot you could safely recharge with, it's me."

"He wasn't upset. Not much." Optimus isn't going to give credit to Ultra's tiny bout of jealousy. It hardly counts at all.

Grapple nods reluctantly, "If you say so."

He pushes the mech towards the washrack carefully, "I do. Go wash up I already did, so that won't even be a problem. I ha-"

The mech pulls him out of the chair, "We're going to that planet, right? I vaguely remember Sari saying we're amost there while I was drifting in and out of recharge."

He nods, "Yes. We're almost to Haydon IV."

He's pulled along, "Then we're both cleaning up. You look _okay_, but not nearly enough for a planetside visit."

"I-" his protest gets cut off as he's shoved under a solvent spray, and he shuts his mouth to avoid having it filled with solvents and cleansers.

"Now, if you really don't mind, I'll give you a good coat of polish," Grapple offers, pulling out a bottle before Optimus can reject it immediately. With the bot looking so eager to help, Optimus feels too bad to turn him down, and he stands there mute, letting the bot scrub him and then apply the polish to his armor.

He only hopes it's not the expensive, high quality polish that he's been intentionally avoiding using in the washrack.

When they're all finished cleaning, he smells like energon candy, and so does Grapple. He glares at the mech irritably, "Did you _have_ to do this? I was perfectly fine before."

He's pushed to the door, "I couldn't use it if you didn't." The mech tries to go through the door, only for the fussy thing to beep at them both angrily. "... Is it telling us to..." the bot trails off, unwilling to suggest what he thinks.

He shudders, "It _better_ _not_. I think we just need energon. If we can't leave then, we will call Sari for help."

Two cubes of energon later, and the door lets them out reluctantly, flashing its lights in some obscure pattern that Optimus doesn't recognize. It was probably scolding him for not servicing his spark that morning.

He wasn't opening his plates with Grapple just a single door away from him. Even if he did have a bit of dubious privacy in the washrack. He wasn't a shameless slutbot, and he didn't go around self-servicing where other mechs could hear him. Frag the room if it wanted him to do that.

Grapple glares at the door as they leave, "I don't like that thing."

Optimus nods, "I don't, either. I'll be glad when I'm home and not have to deal with it."

The cranebot nods, and they start to walk to where Sari is, and she gives them both approving looks, "Good. You're both clean. Are you feeling better?"

Grapple rubs his sparkplates, trying to soothe away pain, "I think so? I mean, I didn't recharge as well with Optimus as I do with you, but it was much better than being alone."

"Being with fragging Loki probably helped you," Sari grumbles, and kicks the sleipnir with her foot. Loki looks up and blinks wide, innocent optics, and butts his head up against her servo until she gives in and pets him. "Sleipnir really are good for damaged sparks. They give off this energy stuff, kind of like I do, but not as much of it. It's part of how they lure virgins to them."

Or how they kept virgins with them back before they turned feral. If you enjoyed being with one, you were less likely to listen to that friendly neighborbot who wanted you to come over for a cube of energon while your creators were away.

He's tugged, oddly gently, by Afterburner to come closer. He's not really sure what this is about until the racecar bot pulls out a polishing cloth and works on polishing his faceplates, "You're streaked around your optics, and I know you wouldn't care, while Grapple wouldn't be thinking about this. Sari told me what you're doing, and you want to look your best for it. I may not like you, but that doesn't mean I want you to frag this up for yourself."

He's silently grateful for the mech's help, he doesn't want to make a bad impression. "Do you think I can do this?"

Afterburner shrugs, "How should I know? You can do it if you think you can, even though you suck at everything."

"I see," he says. "Still, thank you for helping. I will have to hope that my talent in this is greater than my talent at catching turbofish. I do have quite a bit of practice with diplomacy," _and_ _you_ _do_ _not_, his look adds, and Sari snaps at them both.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, grow up. Both of you grow up and be civil, or I'm going to do something awful. Like make you kiss and make up. I don't _want_ to see you kiss, but if that's what it takes to keep you from acting like spoiled brats fighting over a toy, I will."

Both he and Afterburner make a disgusted face at that, and the racecar picks Sari up to kiss her. "I would much rather stay with you."

She sighs softly, letting the mech press kisses to her frame, "I still want you to stop fighting. It isn't becoming, and we have to head off. They're pretty excited about me taking a sudden detour, but will hate that I have Optimus doing most of the stuff. I don't know what's going on in this place."

"Haydon IV is still one of the largest industrial planets currently producing parts for most model types and is the sole producer of Livnium, a metal used in most ship engines." Optimus has kept up to date on his home, even if he never intended to return there. "It is very difficult to produce, and," he swallows, "the factory where my creators . . . offlined creates very much of it." He had personally pushed through stricter policies for safety in Autobot-allied zones, but Haydon IV is extremely neutral, and he does not know if they have updated their own policies, as they are not a matter of public scrutiny.

Sari reaches over, patting him on the side. "We'll do a tour of the place if you want, Optimus."

He wraps his arms around himself, optics offline, "I'd like to, and I don't want to. I want to know that no one else will have such a thing happen to them, but I don't want to relive the memories."

She pats him again, "If it isn't safe, I can make sure they change it so it is. You can help me make sure that no one suffers like that."

He nods reluctantly, "That seems like the best idea."

Their ships lands in a very wealthy area, one of the places that has flourished due to the credits coming to the planet for their resources. It sickens him to see the oppulent buildings that house such a tiny number of bots when he knows how the bots in the slums were crowded together in shacks that were always on the verge of collapse.

Nevertheless, he smiles peacefully at the bots who welcome them, and then forces himself into a neutral expression, which he hopes to maintain the rest of the visit.

He mentally goes over what he needs to do this sol, and frowns when he realizes he has _no_ _clue_ where Ultra's neice and nephew live. He's going to have to search through the records on the planet to match up where they are to their names, while hoping he's got them right. He has their creator's names, and their creator's creator's names, so that will really help quite a bit.

But he is still worried that he could be looking right at Strafe and Raindance, but not know they're there at all.

"Do you have a library, or a datafile storage facility nearby?" Optimus interrupts their guide, who is happily explaining about the extensive crystal garden just a few blocks from the hotel they will be staying in for the night.

The bot gives him a knowing look. "Ah. So you enjoy datapads, Optimus Prime? Yes. We have a very large public storage facility, but it is closer to the center of the city. If you like, we can have a bot guide you there later this sol."

Optimus straightens himself, trying to look like one of the spoiled dignitaries they often have visit Cybertron. "I want to go there now."

Sari snorts in amusement behind her servo, "I want to go, too. We can check out the garden later."

The guide gives them a slightly confused look, most likely wanting to insist on whatever they have planned. "We are having a dinner at the ga-"

Sari shakes her head, "No energon for me. I _know_ you weren't given enough time to prepare something I can eat."

The mech shifts on his peds, twirling his wheels and shifting his racecare spoiler, "It would sti-..." The bot looks at Afterburner glaring down at him, then nods. "Of course. To the storage facility. I'm sure you'll all love it."

Sari leans over, bracing one servo on Afterburner's armor so she can brush her other servo against the guidebot's spoiler, tweaking the tip. "What's your name?" she asks, and Optimus thinks it is probably a bad idea to let her bond with a bot she barely knows. They can find better candidates for other consorts elsewhere.

Afterburner makes a discontent noise and moves away, pulling Sari with him. "His name isn't important."

She giggles softly, pressing a kiss to her consort's mouth, "Silly jealous bot." She rubs his helmet vents on his headfins, and murmurs something softly in his audios that Optimus can't make out.

"_No_. I do _not_ want him under me, Sari." Afterburner glares at the other racecar, holding her possessively, "He isn't nearly pretty enough for you."

The guidebot looks like he wants to insist that he is pretty, but Optimus puts a servo on the mech's shoulder, whispering frantically, "Do _not_ do this. It will not end well for you."

The bot falls silent, and Afterburner complains again, after Sari whispers in his audio and pinches his headfin, "No. I won't accept a bot with a spoiler like that. It's gaudy and you know what they say about bots like that? Racecars with spoilers can't last in the berth. They can't even keep their charge up long enough to give you a satisfying overload." The bot sneers at the guidebot, "You'd get a better charge from rubbing your spark on the berth."

The guidebot looks absolutely affronted, "We do _not_! We're wo-"

Afterburner hisses wordlessly, scaring the mech into silence, "We are _not_ allowing him in, Sari."

She crosses her arms sulkily, "Fine."

Afterburner looks very smug, "Now take us to the datapad storage facility. Optimus needs to do some research."

The bot sulks as they walk to the storage facility, mollified only when Sari leans over and pinches his spoiler again, whispering something at him. "I, yes," the bot smiles a little bit. "It does make me feel better to know you would claim me if you could, but I understand that it's important to keep your First happy."

Afterburner moves so they're on the opposite side of the group, clutching Sari to his chest. "We should request that they not send such obvious prostibots our way in the future."

Sari glares up at her consort, "He is _not_ a prostibot, Afterburner. You're just upset. I'm not going to ever replace you." Her voice drops softer, cuddling against the mech, "I love you. You know this."

Afterburner glares at the guidebot, nuzzling Sari lovingly, "I love you, too."

Optimus is glad that they _do_ like each other, even if most of it was forced on due to the bonding. It doesn't hurt them to be happy, and it is better they care for each other than wanting to kill the other. Even if he doesn't like Afterburner, and wishes Sari had a nicer bot to be with.

He smiles at the guidebot, more inclined to like him now that he's had to suffer Afterburner's scorn. "Don't be insulted. Afterburner hates most bots, though he apparently was capable of basic courtesy back when he worked at his hotel. I doubt it, myself. He's certainly shown no signs of it at all." Not even a little flicker of concern or courtesy. Not unless Sari is involved. He reaches over to pat the bot's shoulder.

The mech gives him a nervous smile, "It's okay, he just wants to be with her. I'm just..." The bot looks down, "I was kind of hoping that she'd take me to her berth for the night, that's why I asked to be the guide. I should have known better."

Optimus raises an optic ridge, "You realize she'd end up marking you as a consort if that happened, right?"

The bot's optics light up, "Do you really think so? I'd love to be her consort. She's so pretty and wonderful, and I know that she's a techno-organic, but I don't mind at all. I mean, look at her."

Optimus frowns, "You've never seen her in her nonbot mode. Be polite."

"But I've seen organics before," the bot says, and then lowers his voice, "and I've seen the images of her organic form on the news. I am not opposed to it at all." The bot flushes up an interesting shade of green, his code obviously running towards that color with whatever paint blend he has. He wouldn't have expected it with the bot's red and silver paint. "I have even interfaced with one. It was very . . . different. But not bad."

That is information he could have done without. He doesn't want to know about _anyone_ interfacing, unless it is him and Ultra. "That's... nice?" He looks up at the datapad storage facility, and sighs, "I need to know where the-"

Sari interrupts, "Vroom needs to come here. He must." She makes grabby motions at the racecar, "Allspark says you are hiding the best thing. The _best_ thing."

The racecar blinks, and walks over to her cautiously, "Y-yes, Priestess?"

She makes a kissy face, "Turn into a motorcycle. Show Afterburner."

A motorcycle?

The bot flushes green again, and then carefully folds himself down, twisting in that familiar triple-changer way until his frame is compacted down into a cyclebot shape. He's a very sleek motorcycle, considering how compact he must be, and he spins his tires restlessly when Sari reaches out to caress his frame.

He's certainly not designed for carrying organics. No handlebars.

Afterburner's optics dim, and the orange mech revs. Sari beams at that, "See? We're taking him! He wants it, don't you?"

The triple-changer spins his wheels again, "I.. I _do_, I just hadn't thought you'd wa-"

She jabs a finger at the bot, "Pick him up, Afterburner."

The bot is scooped up carefully, and Afterburner rubs the triple-changer on the undercarriage, "I'm much more accepting of him joining us if he's a triple-changer."

"You should really consider this before you do anything permanent, Sari," Optimus cautions her. "You don't even know him."

Sari traces her fingers over the bot's armor, and Optimus thinks that must be where the bot hides his spark in that vehicle mode. "I know he's going to make the prettiest noises for me tonight. That's all that matters to me right now, Optimus."

He rubs his forehead, "Sari, _please_ think about what you're doing. I'm not telling you not to get consorts, I'm asking you to realize you need a bot with more than just a pretty frame. I'm glad you love Afterburner," He points at the mech as he looks triumphant at that admission, "but that doesn't mean that you should go marking bots randomly. You don't want to be like the other Priestesses, do you?"

She freezes, looking at him with worry in her optics, but cuddles Vroom closer, "But I _want_ him."

He puts his servos on his hips, "Just like how you _wanted_ that jet bot?"

She gives him a horrified look, but doesn't let go of the mech, "... no?"

"I'm perfectly willing, Optimus Prime," Vroom insists, wiggling a bit to rub his side against Sari. "There was a mech in my line, many generations back that was consort to a Priestess. One of the few who offlined from a virus rather than . . the other causes of a Priestess's offlining. He was quite happy, if his datapad records are any proof." He twitches a bit, "If my frame still upsets your First consort, I will be happy to take whatever mods he requires."

She cuddles him even more, nuzzling her face into the bot's side, "_No_. You're fine how you are." She teases the bot's seams, "We'll be going to mark you after the tour and things, since Optimus _does_ need to do this." She pokes the bot, "Back to botmode. You get to hold me for now."

Vroom transforms, slipping out of Afterburner's arms, and reaching out to Sari, "Yes, Priestess."

Optimus isn't happy with this at all, but it's not his place to interfere unless Sari's in danger of hurting herself. If the bot is willing, and Sari is willing as well, he should let them bond. Or at least think about bonding. "If you can't try and wait a few sols before you mark him. You should get to know him."

Sari turns to him, and her optics are glowing faintly blue, "I'll mark him when I take his spark, and you would be wise not to argue with me."

He sighs softly, "I just don't want you hurt, Sari. You know I care about you. I'd like you to think about it, but this is your choice." He takes a step forward and presses his forehead against her's, optics offline, "You're an adult, you make your own choices. I just worry."

He moves back, and she frowns at him. "I _want_ him. You aren't going to change my mind."

He shrugs, "Then be with him, Sari. I just want you happy." He steps towards the datapad storage facility, "I'm going to finish up my research. Don't wo-"

He blinks in surprise as a mech spots him, interrupting him with a shout of, "Orion! It really _is_ you! I thought I'd never see you again."

Freezing in place, Optimus feels his spark shrink with dread. He recognizes that voice.

"Slag, mech, it's been ages," the mech walks up, circling around him, ignoring the other bots, "and I have to say that the ages have treated you very well. Look at that aft. Not quite as pert as it was when you were younger, but much more," he sketches a shape in the air, indicating curves that Optimus really doesn't have, "you know." Flicker steps back and studies him, finally noticing the other bots, and the expensive coat of polish on him, "Slag, Orion, did you decide to work as a prostibot after all? You kept turning down my more than generous offers for your spark in my club."

His optics turn cold, and he stiffens angrily, "My _name_ is Optimus Prime, and I will thank you not to forget it."

The bot's optics light up, and he gets even closer, "Is _that_ what you're calling yourself now? No wonder I couldn't get you to strip off your armor, not when you were going after the Magnus's spark. It's surprising that anyone thinks you're a v-"

Optimus can not stand to be _touched_ by this mech any longer, his fingers make his plating crawl, and he acts out before he can even stop himself. He's always _hated_ this bot for trying to get him to expose himself for all sorts of prying optics. He went to work in the factory and drank the drone energon so he could leave this all behind. His servo makes a satisfiying sound as it hits the mech's face, most likely damaging it quite badly.

He steps away stiffly, glaring at nothing, muttering angrily, "I fragging _hate_ this planet," and stalks into the storage facility.

* * *

**Please Review**

Hey guys, last chapter I have for this so far. Tomorrow I'm uploading a new fic, which is all done. You will have a chapter a day for twenty-three days o3o How wonderful. The person that wanted Skywarp/Optimus on the Skywarp/Everyone fic? You aren't getting that. I got frustrated editing it. So I'm not uploading it yet. I will eventually. I have lots of fic to put up.**  
**


End file.
